1 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Alchemy, this time your host Kevin Pollock. 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: Yes that Kevin Pollock, what's that? And then normally have 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: a bunch of really creative, funny things to say that 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,960 Speaker 1: I write down ahead of time. I do a lot 5 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: of work on this research. But I noticed when I 6 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 1: printed this second show out that we're recording today, it's 7 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 1: from last week's show, so I could improvise all of it. 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: You're reading all of this right now, aren't you. You 9 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: wrote that that wasn't funny, it is hilarious, and that 10 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: this is what we're doing. We're meeting our alchemist. Let's 11 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 1: go around the table real quick. Joey Greer, okay, James Zenei, 12 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: that's my name. Oh my god, that's great. That's all 13 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: you have to do. Craig Atkowski, it's fun to say. 14 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:52,599 Speaker 1: And here and Chris Alvarado by racial see number one 15 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: who has written to us from the fans of the show. 16 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: Please write to us at your name here at Alchemy 17 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: this dot com, your name here at calcomey this dot com, 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: and tell everyone you've ever met to subscribe to the show. 19 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 1: That would help us a lot. Write a review. We 20 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: love you. This one comes from Amber. Hello, yeah, right, Hello, 21 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: I just wanted to say I am a humongous fan 22 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: of the show, and even the scariest time of my life, 23 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: your team has always made me laugh. My life has 24 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: made a sudden change recently. I lost sight in my 25 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: left eye about two years ago and just got news 26 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: that my eyesight in my right eye is degrading. I know, 27 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: so sweet. This week I am going to a neuro 28 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: many multiple syllable I'm gonna say optomologists, but it's a 29 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 1: neuro eye surgeon I'm guessing to find out what the 30 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 1: extent of the damage is. I would love for you 31 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: guys to do this scene, and I can't wait to 32 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: listen every week for your amazing episodes. Right, you're all 33 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: wishing you the absolute best. All of our love and 34 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: strength is now yours her suggestion. A blind person Wan, 35 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: there's into a furry convention, only to fine it really 36 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:09,119 Speaker 1: is all about cuddling and happiness and it's actually wholesome. 37 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: This happens while a guy who can see finds out, 38 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:18,519 Speaker 1: much to his dismay, that a furry convention isn't about 39 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: anything devious. We take you, We'll decide that all right, 40 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: just taking tickets, trying ticket before you come in. Yeah, tickets. 41 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: I can't get into my person because of my gloves. Okay, 42 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: well take your gloves off. I don't want to take 43 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: my gloves off because then you'll see my human hands. 44 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: And what's your name? Human? Okay, it's Grant, all right? 45 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,359 Speaker 1: Can I get tickets? Please? Grant? Can you reach into 46 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,079 Speaker 1: my pouch for me? Tach your pouch reaching pound a 47 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 1: consensual I saw it reaching her pounds, Grant, they only 48 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 1: go so far. Okay, just strong, Grant. Just take the 49 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: ticket out and just show me the ticket. There are 50 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: a lot of fun whatever, wolf person, cat lady, where 51 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: the hell you are? I'm a get cat, Barbara. I 52 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: can't obviously, I can't see and I don't know why 53 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 1: you think this convention will be doing anything good for me? 54 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: Which are freaks? Oh it's not freaks. This is a 55 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: free convention, right, which sounds freakish? What sounds freakish about it? 56 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: This is wonderful. Now. I don't want to make a 57 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: big deal out of it. But you can't see anybody else, 58 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: and in this no one can see you anyways. You're 59 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: at equal footing. Someone hit me, can I can? I 60 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: absolutely let me go here? This is okay. Hi, this 61 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 1: is nice. This is weird. This is nice. Cat Oh 62 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: I had nine nipples. Wow, that's weird. Come on, let's go, 63 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: let's go. There's so many things. Would seems freaky. Well, 64 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: it's a little bit more sexual than I thought. I weird. 65 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: Can go ahead? Absolutely? Oh, not with your cane, ma'am 66 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: letting me with your hand? O. Hi, Mr Armadilla. What's 67 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: your name? Mus Oh? Sorry, I'm messing this up. I'm 68 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: not good at this. Oh, it's fine. My name is Shelly. Hi, Shelley. 69 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: Claire Claire. Come with me, Come with me. Wait, I 70 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: was just it's okay, It's okaya, Cla Claire, come here, 71 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:27,919 Speaker 1: little Texas style. I believe that I was mistaken. Maybe 72 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: this is a sexual thing. I didn't I thought it 73 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,280 Speaker 1: was just custom. Well maybe I don't know. Let's let's 74 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: I'm kind of a little lamb. We're having a private conversation, 75 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: little lamb. I don't know that you should be petting 76 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:44,039 Speaker 1: all these animals. I feel like that maybe we don't 77 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: know where lambs. You brought me here to have an experience. 78 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: It's getting weird, though, Claire, it's getting weird. Let it 79 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: get would you like to pet my lamb. Oh hi, 80 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: I belonged to her and he belongs to me, and 81 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 1: I don't hid we're together. Okay, my name is Claire, Claire, 82 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: and I can just pet my wool. Wow, it's Barbara. 83 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 1: Feel this. I don't think I want to? Okaya, Okay, 84 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: I got my fingers running through the hair. Anybody ever hurt? 85 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: Y'all hurt? Mhmm yeah, yeah, I'm a grown woman. Everybody 86 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 1: spent hurt. Let's recover from that. Now, let's start to 87 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: let that go. Keep petting them. I don't know, I'm 88 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: ready to recover. Why are you being so angry? There 89 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: is a level of sexuality that I did not expect 90 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: was to be nice sexuality. They're saying that we've been 91 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 1: hurt and I'm in need of a shearing. I am 92 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 1: stroking someone's lamb. Can anybody penetrate my little lamby? I 93 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 1: couldn't feel weird? Get your hand in there. Let's go, 94 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,040 Speaker 1: let's go, let's go here. I am at the furry 95 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 1: con trying to figure this out. It's just creepy at everyone. 96 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 1: Check out my blog. Subscribe to the channel, download the 97 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: latest episode. This is not credentials. Yeah, it's pressed. Check 98 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: it out. I got that. I heard you recording something. 99 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: So if I could say, your credentials press you see that? Yeah, 100 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: I see. Just you've written the word pressed on the piece. Yeah. 101 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: I think that's all I mean. Thank you. Check out 102 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: my flog. Goodbye. Pardon me, sir, Look at this. You 103 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: can't have that camera. Looks like I'm being oppressed by 104 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: the mainstream media. Here. Some security force out here is 105 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: trying to strong army. Stop. Don't don't aim that phone 106 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,039 Speaker 1: at me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We don't want to. 107 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: You're just interact with the with the people. Thank you. 108 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: I think I will impress. Thank you very much. I've 109 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 1: got for my lives yet. So you've lost five okay, wolf? Interesting, 110 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 1: you're not a wolf, You're not a cat. You're a 111 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: human being. You're a human being. I know, I know 112 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 1: it's underneath you. This is what goes on all these 113 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 1: free cons. Everyone here's think they could be somebody else 114 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: because they put on a costume. I guess what just 115 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: put on these ears? Okay for your viewers, all right, 116 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: all r yeah, I guess I'll have to do some camo. 117 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: Thank you. That's actually pretty nice. So what do you 118 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: feel like um no, no, no, I no, I don't 119 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: like it. No, it's not about if you'd like it 120 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: or not. How do you? What are you? What can 121 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: you release? Um? Insecurity? Welcome? Oh my gosh, I'm a 122 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: little lamb. Hey, lamb, I don't know what I mean. 123 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: I think I'm a crocodile. I'm a crocodile with ears? 124 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 1: Is that? Is that not furry? Though? You want to 125 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: go to a scaly convention again? And yeah, I guess 126 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: I could be something else that's furry. Huh, maybe like 127 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: a what are you a kuala be? Okay kuala or 128 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: a truck or kouala bear kuala? What's a koala? I'm 129 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 1: just a little lamb. Come on, you know what a 130 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: koal is? But don't catch glamudia? Okay? How do I 131 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: find out? The only way to find out is through touching? Okay? 132 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, explore each other? Yeah? Whoa what the hell? 133 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: I you just grab my junk. I don't know what 134 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: a koala is? What's up? And you got these weird clothing? 135 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: Hoof mits it hurts. I'm just a little land. It's 136 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: just a land. Don't get mad in land koal? And 137 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: you need some mute lip, just so you can take 138 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: a nap. Barbara. You can leave, but I'm staying. Claire. 139 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 1: I think that this is a dangerous place for either 140 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: of us to be. We were not prepared for an 141 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: you know what's dangerous out there? Yeah, the judgment, the harass. 142 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: Excuse me, ma'am, you're standing on my tail. I'm sorry. 143 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: She can't see. It's not her fault. I didn't say 144 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: it was her fault. I just said it was the truth, 145 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,199 Speaker 1: just a little bit of This is a very expensive tale. Sorry, 146 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: it's okay, let's not fight. I'm not trying to not 147 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: be aggressive with each other. It's a nice Barbara. Yes, 148 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,080 Speaker 1: maybe you should go me. You're gonna let me be 149 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: harassed by that lion and then I have to leave. 150 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 1: I hate to get back into this. I wasn't harassing anyone. 151 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 1: I wasn't. She is blind and was standing on my tail. 152 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 1: I thought it would be more polite to say, excuse me, 153 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: you're standing on my tail than just to yank it 154 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,079 Speaker 1: out and let her fall. And I agree, thank you. 155 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: I'm the bad guy. You've been the bad guy, Barbara. 156 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: I've been the bad guy. Victor. I'm looking at some 157 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: of the monitors here, and there seemed to be a 158 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 1: lot of activity by the trade fair. Yeah, I'm trying 159 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: to be hands off with this one. What are you 160 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: talking about, Victor? It looks like a lot of things 161 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: are going down. We gotta get down there. Look, you 162 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 1: don't want to get in the middle of that ship. 163 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: Are you're talking about? You weather? So of a bit? 164 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Man? I've said a lot 165 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:46,439 Speaker 1: of fairy conventions in my day, and a few scally conventions. 166 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: They're ugly. What Victor turned to me, What what's going on? Look? 167 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: But the vodka down? You don't need to drink right now? Yes, 168 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 1: I do. I start within. I graduated from there to 169 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 1: where because the craziest one in my mind Tequi gin 170 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: I guess it's worse than your Yeah. Yeah, look you 171 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 1: can try it. You can try it on your own volition. 172 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 1: But they're gonna want to hug you. They're gonna want 173 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,319 Speaker 1: a pile on top of you. They're gonna use those 174 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,679 Speaker 1: baby voices. I don't like that at all, all. Right, one, 175 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: then this is your gig. I mean, I'm getting out 176 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,840 Speaker 1: of here, Victor. Don't push me away right now? Okay, 177 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: let you be alone with my vibe. Victor, let me in, Victor, 178 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: let me inside. Excuse me, I can't find my cuddle puddle. 179 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: Would you like to melt into one with me? Uh? Look, uh, 180 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: yess I guess I guess I got a deep dive 181 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: in this one. All right, yeah, I'll do the cuddle 182 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 1: probable full full. A puppy puppy, A cute puppy. Oh 183 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 1: they're just okay, well, if you can see it here, 184 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,319 Speaker 1: they're just breathing on each other. So uh so, furries, 185 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: I'm a furry I heard this. A lot of drug 186 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:09,319 Speaker 1: trades going on here, huh, a lot of furry drug. Okay, 187 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: so you guys got a legal serotonin running through here, touching. Okay, 188 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 1: I got a little snarl in my full. Can you 189 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: help me my full? Yeah? I can help your whoa whoa. Well, 190 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: you just gotta be having real quick okay, all right, okay, 191 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: you know what I think I'm gonna get out of 192 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:34,839 Speaker 1: this cuddle puddle. I'm I'm gonna go ohud Okay, I 193 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,079 Speaker 1: think I should just go for a bit. Okay, I'm 194 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: getting giving it. Hi there, Um, my name is Claire. 195 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: I can't see, but I understand you are a vendor here. Yeah, 196 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:49,079 Speaker 1: that's right. Um I I've been really enjoying my afternoon, 197 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 1: and um I think I'm ready. Oh, I know, I 198 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: don't want to sound too I don't ominous, but I 199 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: think I'm ready. Cliff, I think she wants to hear 200 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: about the various outfits that the cleric is right on. Okay, 201 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: well this is uh, this is a little last minute 202 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: you know where we are kind of down to. You know, 203 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: some of the least popular animals here, those are some 204 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,559 Speaker 1: of my favorite. Okay, Cliff, don't lead that well, I 205 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: just want to be honest. It's okay. You know, um 206 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,319 Speaker 1: you look to be about a size eight. I am 207 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,079 Speaker 1: an eight. Wow, good eye. I wish I had a 208 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: good eye. Try to push the kangaroo. How do you 209 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,560 Speaker 1: feel about being a kangaroo, Cliff, Cliff, we're at a kangaroo. 210 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: We just love it. I love it. I'm the kangaroo. Yes, okay, 211 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 1: that's good, that's good. Okay. We don't have any kangaroos specifically, Okay, okay, 212 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,320 Speaker 1: we but if you like that continent, we can stay 213 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 1: in that area. How about a platypus, yes, yes, yes, 214 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 1: build build legs. Only you are a mammal. Well, the 215 00:12:56,640 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: kid kid every time, trying not to touch you here 216 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,680 Speaker 1: so that the customer knows we're talking to you. Sorry, 217 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: just keep it, keep the floor full sentences only not responded. 218 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: Don't respond to us by saying sorry, who you sorry? 219 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: She thinks you're crazy. The blind woman thinks you try 220 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: to push drugs. So and the platypus platypus anything cuter, 221 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: A little cuter platypus. It's cuter than a baby platus. 222 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 1: Good point point. Okay, Okay, yes, yes, we're out of bills, 223 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 1: we're out of tails. We can only sell the body. 224 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 1: I am so into this. I feel like I feel 225 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 1: like I am me for the first time. I'm in Okay, 226 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: so I'm going to address you in a bass gray Okay, 227 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 1: I'm into it. Um. People may not know what you 228 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 1: are at first, but just keep insisting that you're a platypus, 229 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 1: and then you know people what I think you also 230 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:59,319 Speaker 1: want a handful of these fells? They are pills? Wow, 231 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: very good, you're like daredevil hunt. No, I know what 232 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: pills are. Your senses are Okay, what are these columns? 233 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: They are platypus eggs and so of course the platypus. 234 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: It's gonna put a bunch of platypus eggs in their mouth. 235 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: They can only just date inside of her. They can 236 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:18,840 Speaker 1: only just date inside of you. Don't, don't over it? Okay? 237 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: Was that weird that you said just date that way? 238 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: I wasn't talking to you. I'm sorry, Sorry, someone else 239 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: here I can't. Yes, yes, there's another person right there 240 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 1: to your sense them. Um. Okay, but what are these 241 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 1: pills actually? Like sugar pills? Like tick tacks? There? Say 242 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: you're throwing in a horsetail. I'll throwing a horsetail. Okay, Okay, 243 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 1: can you open up your purse and I'll pick out 244 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 1: the correct bills? Okay, Okay, I'm taking a twenty. Okay, 245 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 1: I'm taking these platypus eggs for sure. Okay, I'm taking 246 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: another twiny. Okay, I'm gonna put four of them in 247 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 1: my mouth right now. Okay. Oh that he's kind of 248 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: out for is too Many's weird? Four too many? Victor, Victor, 249 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: I'm looking at the monitors that's going down. For what 250 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 1: it's going down. People out there are getting bamboozeled. Look 251 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 1: you you went out there, right, What did it feel 252 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: like weird. The energy was was too electric. Huh, That's 253 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: what I was afraid you'd get too into it. It 254 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: was just the people were so into each other. There 255 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: was no hate. So, so who's bamboozlin? Who? Kid? One 256 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 1: of the one of the guys selling the perch Jesus. 257 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 1: Still that's another bu's a new bottle of Tito's terrible. 258 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 1: Oh god, so you think it's the merch guy? I 259 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: smell like smellingda thank you. That was not a commimenture, 260 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 1: that's not It wasn't a good smell. Look, do I 261 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 1: have to show you myself? Kid? Do I gotta get 262 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: out there on the floor, deal with these god forsaked furbies? Victor? 263 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: You wearing furry men's Yeah, yeah, all right, I'm a 264 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:04,440 Speaker 1: furry Victor. Okay, what I hide here in the security 265 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: room while this convention goes on because I can't face 266 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 1: who I am? All right? All right? But they're so 267 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: nice you were you were talking aboutout doing bad people. Yeah, 268 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: they're nice. That's exactly what. I just don't want to 269 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: be let down by who, by my community. I'll come on, Victor, 270 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: They're not gonna let you down. You let yourself down, 271 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 1: you know, that. All right. Look, I got a duck 272 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: bill and I got a fluffy tail. Okay, that's a 273 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 1: confusing animal. I don't know. I don't know who I am, 274 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,640 Speaker 1: all right, I feel like half an animal. Yeah, Victor, 275 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: when we make up an animal for you? Okay, what 276 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe there's something with a duck bill, 277 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: something with a water base. Right at the same time, 278 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: it's got a fuffy tail, so it probably runs faster 279 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 1: in snow period. Yeah, maybe you're a you're you're a 280 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: duck's a duck fox ducks. I like that. Yeah, I'm 281 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: going out, kid, you're going out. You're gonna put anything 282 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: on your chest. Welcome to the last gathering. I am grizzly. 283 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 1: Please make your noises. I am As this evening comes 284 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 1: to a conclusion. Tonight is a night for anybody. Guy's 285 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: dressed like a vampire. Why is it bear from Transylvania, 286 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: don't judge. Tonight is a night for anybody. Yeah, you're right. 287 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,320 Speaker 1: I'm a little messed up here, guys. Just come on, 288 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 1: this is my favorite. Just hold on. You're not supposed 289 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 1: to break me a little time out because I can't 290 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,400 Speaker 1: get the thing where there are no time out that's 291 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 1: you know what, you're right, wait that new guys pictures 292 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: and before he spills Tito's fine vodka all over the 293 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: other f Let's take it yourselves to seem Two written 294 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 1: in from Maddie, who suggests a good Cup, bad cop 295 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: interrogation of a serial flasher. That's right, who has only 296 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 1: one explanation, no matter how much evidence has brought forth, 297 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 1: And that explanation is it was an accident. The police 298 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 1: chief gets involved, however, begin sending in other officers to 299 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 1: try to break this serial flasher. The other officers suggestions 300 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 1: are morally ambivalent, cup, defiant, coup, devil's advocate cop, and 301 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:47,959 Speaker 1: birthday clown cop. Alright, I don't know how we're going 302 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: to crack this one. Maybe you want to give it 303 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 1: a shot this time? Alright, you want you want to 304 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 1: be good cup A bit? I think I want to 305 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,640 Speaker 1: be myselfs alright, I'd love to be I'm gonna send 306 00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:00,119 Speaker 1: you to it. Let's try that, al right. Remember this 307 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: one's shifting, That's all I'm gonna say. I hope we 308 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 1: can kick this cold getting around the appice pretty bit? 309 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 1: You want a coffee? Hold up? Yeah, you guys could 310 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,239 Speaker 1: have been long in this room. You saw the light 311 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,840 Speaker 1: on you. Yeah, Jim, it'll probably at least thirty minutes. 312 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 1: I don't know. I think he's following me. I think 313 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: he is, Sir, Do you mind if we just take 314 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 1: a second here. I think he's following you, or you 315 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 1: feel like he is. He keeps coming in the room. 316 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 1: And he came in a woman's bathroom this morning. You 317 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,440 Speaker 1: gotta you gotta site that. You gotta site that. I 318 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,800 Speaker 1: don't want to say. You guys need coffee, right, No, 319 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,120 Speaker 1: we don't need coffee. Actually I would like coffee. See 320 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 1: that's what I was thinking. You know what we'll get 321 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 1: at ourselves. What if he put some one at the coffee? 322 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 1: What you put into the coffee? We're at the police stage. 323 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 1: We might put something in the make you poop? Why 324 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 1: would he do that? Then you're so then you're in 325 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: the bathroom again or something. I don't know. Why would 326 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 1: he want me to poop? I don't know. I'm just 327 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:59,800 Speaker 1: saying I'm looking ahead. I'm a cop, sir, sir. Yeah, 328 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: how are you back? Let me restart that, sir, you've 329 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,679 Speaker 1: been I've been accused of. Well, I'm gonna be myself myself. 330 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 1: Can you give us a second story. I want to 331 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 1: just be myself honestly, Well, Lewis I just if I'm 332 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,480 Speaker 1: good cop, it'll be most effective just looking at the tropes. 333 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,440 Speaker 1: If you're bad Okay, you don't think he understands this. 334 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 1: But like, we can't live in the gray area. But 335 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,920 Speaker 1: because we'd never get our job done. But the gray 336 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 1: areas with things, no, no, no, if we start to 337 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,240 Speaker 1: live in the gray area in law enforcement, we can't 338 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,359 Speaker 1: enforce anything because there's usually a reason, you know, no, 339 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: there's always you're black. I'm not that not that bad 340 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,119 Speaker 1: cop is Oh my god, wow, you have to bring 341 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 1: my races. Excuse me too. I need you inside the 342 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 1: interrogation room. We gotta we gotta get this done now. Okay, 343 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: we'll go. This bickering outside is not helping anybody. Okay, yes, okay, 344 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 1: captain man, I know I'm the rookie. You're the rookie, captain. Alright, 345 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 1: I get your first year doing it my first day 346 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 1: is I'm just saying, if you could get in there, 347 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 1: we gottitut of good Okay, sir, hello, not let me 348 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 1: do that again. I cannot say hello to this guy. 349 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: This guy is this guy is not convicted yet, but 350 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: he's alleged. He was arrested on this charge flashing. It's like, 351 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: I just want to go in there. I want to 352 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 1: put a bullet right this guy's fucking head. You know 353 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 1: what I mean? There we go. You're in the zone. 354 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 1: Let's go and let's go. Hey, sir, how do you 355 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: fucking do? Huh? I'm very well, thank you, very well. 356 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put a fucking milliment. Come back your Oh 357 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,639 Speaker 1: what's what's what's the problem? Cool off? Well? First of all, 358 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,800 Speaker 1: may I say you have a beautiful body, and I 359 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: love you. Love it what you do. You're complimented the 360 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,040 Speaker 1: guy's body right now, I'm good copy. He's flashing the 361 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:59,479 Speaker 1: cases about his body? Good about his body? In this case? Sir, 362 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 1: is this guy about your body? That's what they say? Okay, okay, okay, okay, 363 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 1: what do you mean? Him off? No? I said, cool off? 364 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 1: You just put a gun against his head. Until like Kara, 365 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,120 Speaker 1: this bad cop. It's not like Psycho. What's the what's 366 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 1: the issue here? Why am I here? Hold on a second, 367 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: what's the line for bad coup? What do you mean? 368 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 1: What's the line? I'm just saying there's no lines. We 369 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 1: just talked to the person. That's my point. You mean like, 370 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,280 Speaker 1: don't cross the line. There is no line you're saying 371 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 1: that take you over the line from bad cop. I 372 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: feel like, because it's my hold, day turns into controlling you, 373 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,080 Speaker 1: then we're not actually tackling the problem. My hand coffee. 374 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: You're not gonna be able to control me, all right, 375 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 1: You're not gonna be able to that an invitations threat. 376 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: I just karate chapped you in the throat and you 377 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 1: put the gun down. I think I can respect. Excuse respect, sorry, 378 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: excuse me, excuse. I've been just sent in by the 379 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 1: polite Your name is Mermon. They wanted polite cop in 380 00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 1: and you want to for a second. Oh absolutely, Louis, 381 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,440 Speaker 1: I'd love to chat with that side. So I'll just 382 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 1: take over this interrogation. If you could just gone, thank you, hi, 383 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: how are you? Oh great? How are you doing great? 384 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,159 Speaker 1: That time? Thank you? You look really nice to thank you. 385 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 1: I heard that you took your clothes and exposed the 386 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,200 Speaker 1: underneath areas of yourself to a park full of people. Oh, 387 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,040 Speaker 1: I mean it sounds bad when you say it like that. 388 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 1: How would you like me to say it? It was 389 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:29,000 Speaker 1: an accident? Oh? Well that sounds so I got to 390 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,399 Speaker 1: get out of here that I have I have a meeting. 391 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 1: Oh you do? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Let 392 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: me uncuff you really? Thank you? Thank you? Gosh? What 393 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: the hell is going on here? Why is he uncuffed? 394 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,880 Speaker 1: He's got a meeting to get too, so I wanted 395 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 1: to make sure. What the hell's wrong with I'm gonna 396 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 1: put ye. I'm sorry, we gotta I'm gonna have to 397 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 1: put these cups back on. Lt myself to one of 398 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: the syropum cups of coffee. Absolutely, thank you. Let me 399 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 1: just pour it on right there. I think that was good. Okay, 400 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,200 Speaker 1: what's the line with you? It wasn't boiling. He's not 401 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 1: going to be suffering for long. But he's uncomfortable. I here, 402 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 1: we have a suspecting here. Wow, psycho Tom, you go 403 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: from one job to the other. Oh well, what brings 404 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:20,679 Speaker 1: you here today? Little fellow has been flashing people know, allegedly, 405 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 1: and he has a beautiful body. He's not a kid. Okay, 406 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: it's a great coffee. Well, let me flash you my 407 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: joy buzzer. Okay, this has been fun. Guys. I gotta 408 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 1: get out of here. Um, thank you so much for 409 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 1: having me. Thank you for the coffee. You guys have 410 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,640 Speaker 1: a great a great day. You're not getting a quick 411 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 1: unhand me. Okay, blumbo, give this guy a little trick. Huh. Okay, 412 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 1: you want to see a trick? Not really, you want 413 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,399 Speaker 1: to see a trick? O jesus, How how do if 414 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: I juggle your ears? Oh? Tell what the fun was 415 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 1: going on in that park? You sick bastard. It was 416 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 1: an accident, But why don't we make a little balloon 417 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:11,840 Speaker 1: animal with this test? It's a dog? Is that a 418 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 1: rubber tie in your neck's? Excuse me? Here's a paper 419 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 1: towel for the spilled coffee. Thank you so much. So 420 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: what happened? You were on the park you accident? Explain 421 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: the nature of the accident. Thank you? Yes, okay, Um, So, 422 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 1: I'm a very business, very busy business man. I'm a 423 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: very very business Yeah. Yeah, that is hard to say 424 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 1: modern major general. Yeah yeah, so I took a walk 425 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 1: about one pm, um in the morning, one pm, Louis, 426 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: go ahead. I just needed to get some fresh hair, 427 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,639 Speaker 1: took a breather from from my business. You're on your 428 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: lunch break, captain, yes, oh hi, captain, we have it 429 00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 1: under control. You know. I don't think you do. You're 430 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: on your lunch break. I want to go outside. I 431 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,200 Speaker 1: go for a walk. I grab a soft pretzel. It 432 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: just seems my only one. It seems like he's just 433 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: making this story up as he goes. Yeah, captain, would 434 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 1: you like to take it? You can have my seat. Yeah, thanks, 435 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,959 Speaker 1: I can tell you the whole thing again. I've never 436 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,840 Speaker 1: missed the break. One o'clock. You're outside, you're walking around. 437 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 1: Suddenly side, someone needs to see my junk, no, sir, okay, 438 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 1: I grab a soft pretzel as she heard me. I'm sorry, yes, okay, 439 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,760 Speaker 1: if I have to be that specific, I paid two 440 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 1: eighty three for a soft pretzel. That's too much. That's 441 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,639 Speaker 1: too much for a soft Why would you ever pay? Well? 442 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: The park where it's in a very fancy neighborhood. I'm 443 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: a very wealthy businessman, and I'm also very busy. I'm 444 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 1: the modern major of that. You know what I mean. 445 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 1: We've got seventeen people witnesses, their names on the list. 446 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: I'm getting to it, okay. So I asked for two 447 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 1: packets of mustard because one thing going to do from 448 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: I agree with that mustard, And so you know, all right, 449 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 1: you know what do you know those It's gonna be 450 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 1: hard to open sometimes, right if you open it from 451 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 1: the center. I've never done that on the top. So anyway, 452 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 1: I used my teeth standard. But that's what happened. One 453 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 1: exploded all over my my, my, my clothing. The mustard 454 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 1: exploded on your clothing. Yeah, when I was ripping it 455 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 1: and the mustard fell exactly. I was just sort of 456 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 1: a following explosion. Yeah, don't help him out. Yeah, it 457 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:33,680 Speaker 1: was like a falling exactly. So the record, it was 458 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 1: a following explosion. And I looked down and saw that 459 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 1: my pants had mustard on them, and rather than putting 460 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,400 Speaker 1: a napkin into the area, you thought, well, first of all, 461 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 1: I'm the very model of a very busy businessman. We 462 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,480 Speaker 1: got that part. So I had to get back to 463 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: a meeting after my lunch. I didn't have time to 464 00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 1: change or do anything proper, so I thought I would 465 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: just wipe it off. And as I did that, my 466 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,680 Speaker 1: thumb undid my belt in one in one motion, my 467 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:08,679 Speaker 1: undid my belt buckle. You don't have to, I'm Lewis. 468 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,879 Speaker 1: Stand down anyway. You can see where I'm going with this. 469 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 1: My thumb undid the belt. I don't want to see 470 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,679 Speaker 1: where you're going with this, Lewis, We've all seen a penis. 471 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 1: Calm down. Here's what I'm trying to say. It was 472 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 1: an accident. It was an accident, so thank you so 473 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,359 Speaker 1: much for being You're not done. Seventeen people say it 474 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,320 Speaker 1: was not an accident. They said you saw, you looked around, 475 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,639 Speaker 1: you opened your pants, you let things hang. I can 476 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 1: read some of the reports right here. Please do read 477 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,400 Speaker 1: number four. Okay, right here, Okay, this is Matt Dawson. 478 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 1: He said, you have give me that name again. I'm 479 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 1: not going it's Matt Dawson. It doesn't matter. We don't 480 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 1: give the name to the witnesses. That was the name. 481 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 1: I'm loose. I'm loose right now. You know. I'm feeling 482 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 1: the room with. What did Matt Dawson Matt Dawson fake address, 483 00:28:55,400 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 1: that's his real address? What heay? My stomach started to hurt. 484 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 1: Literal Louis, go ahead, what you feeling like a little dog? Blum? 485 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 1: Matt Dawson ouk Bridge Avenue. He says, you asked him 486 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: for the time, he didn't give it. You followed him 487 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 1: around a tree for about twelve seconds, to which point 488 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 1: he juked you out, and you said that's enough of it. 489 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 1: You exposed yourself to him and said, if you don't 490 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 1: got the time, at least you can see some slime, 491 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 1: and then you braw him off. Rhyme. Were you confused 492 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:29,200 Speaker 1: by the word juked? Yes? Okay? Were you Kevin? I wasn't, Oh, 493 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 1: great hero, when you said, well, because that's a made 494 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 1: up name and made up address and I made up story. 495 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,640 Speaker 1: That's a real name of a real address. He's right outside. 496 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: What's wrong with your stomach? I don't know. I just 497 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: had that coffee anyway. All I can say is there 498 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 1: was an accident. Wait did you hear that, Louis? He 499 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 1: said it's stomach hard from the coffee. Remember what you 500 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: said about Jim, And now Jim may want to made 501 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:56,720 Speaker 1: me p o o pay. Oh my god? Can we 502 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 1: all talk on the side for a second with you? 503 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,880 Speaker 1: You're staying right there, Captain. I think Jim is trying 504 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,920 Speaker 1: to you know, Jim trying to get Monica sick, trying 505 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 1: to go to pop Blum? What is your what your 506 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 1: don't call me blumbo when it just does. I hate this. 507 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 1: I hate this so much, terrible. Why Why are you 508 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 1: why how does this help in any way? Everyone loves you. 509 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:27,360 Speaker 1: Everyone loves you. Confu. I know I've broken so many 510 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 1: suspects this way. Get loose lipped. It's frustrating. Alright, I 511 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 1: got a family, Blum. But what's going on? What's going on? Dad? Alright, Dad, 512 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: you're you're on the clock. I need you to stay focused. 513 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 1: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Alright, But look, Jim, 514 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: we think it is poisoning the cup. That's why this 515 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: is I hate to everybody, but secret, secret to tarnal fun. 516 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 1: We should share this with everyone. I think he deserves 517 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,600 Speaker 1: to know. It's the polite thing to do. Okay, what 518 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 1: are we going to let him know? He might have 519 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 1: been poisoned and maybe he needs to use the restaurant. Yeah, 520 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 1: that's what we do to the suspect. We help him 521 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 1: out with their in chest and all difficulty. We don't 522 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 1: need to give him my heads up. He might be 523 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 1: working with Jim. Jim, and I have no why do 524 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 1: you guys want me to poop? It's not that he 525 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 1: might or may not. It's just I mean, they don't 526 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 1: even understand what that could be about. Blumbo might have 527 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: a nose for UD go all right, put the fucking 528 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: nose on. Fine, but that Matt Parson's bluff is not 529 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: gonna work. Excuse me, I have to get back. I 530 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 1: have to get back. I have to go home. I 531 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 1: don't really feel that great. Um. Did you have some 532 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 1: bad coffee? I don't. I don't want Maybe sometimes sometimes, yes, yes, yes, 533 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:56,960 Speaker 1: I had some bad coffee. Somebody maybe put something in 534 00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 1: that garden. Somebody here. I got you guys, now, okay, 535 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 1: tonk my nose. No, I want to send you all 536 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 1: to the slammer. I told you I'm the very model 537 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,960 Speaker 1: of a very busy your So do you think you 538 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 1: can plant evidence on pol goddamn trigger hunk by No. 539 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 1: My business is I'm a very powerful attorney with a 540 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,520 Speaker 1: problem taking off its close in public. We've got a penis. Well, 541 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,800 Speaker 1: I don't know what's worse me accidentally exposing myself? Are 542 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,880 Speaker 1: you purposefully poisoning me? But your penis is out as 543 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,160 Speaker 1: we're speaking right now. You're not allowed to do that. 544 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 1: This is proof. I am showing you the difference. What 545 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 1: is worse looking at this penis for the way I feel. 546 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 1: Stop moving, dude, it was an accident. Stop moving your 547 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,040 Speaker 1: penis don't you want to haulk my nose? Sure? Fine, 548 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:53,040 Speaker 1: not with your God, I can't do this like like 549 00:32:53,160 --> 00:33:00,520 Speaker 1: all my penis my penis? Do you like this animal? 550 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 1: Like the dog? Jim? I think she she caught onto it. 551 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 1: I had to tell her that you put the stuff 552 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 1: in her coffee. Jim, all right, tell her I did. 553 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 1: She's furious. I don't think she drank the coffee. Well, 554 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,520 Speaker 1: what's the point. Well, I told her that The point 555 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,600 Speaker 1: was he wanted to spend more time. You told her 556 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:27,760 Speaker 1: I had not a choice. It came up. I had 557 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,320 Speaker 1: not a choice. So you said, we put stuff in 558 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,400 Speaker 1: your car. I said, you put stuff in your coffee, 559 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,640 Speaker 1: and because it was the honest thing to do in 560 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 1: the moment. Jim, alright, But the good news is is 561 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 1: I told her the reason that you wanted to spend 562 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,280 Speaker 1: time with her, right, And what did she say? Well, 563 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:47,320 Speaker 1: she didn't seem that happy about it with me. I 564 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: wouldn't say that. She said she'd go out with maybe 565 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 1: not for coffeecause now everyone that but like by my 566 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 1: guesses is honesty is the best policy. Jim, you should 567 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,400 Speaker 1: go right up to her apologize about this. What do 568 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 1: you mean I can do nervous. It's okay. A lot 569 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 1: of people are nervous. That's that's the birds and the bees. Okay, 570 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 1: don't you go up and be nervous? Yes, please do? Jim. Hey, Hey, 571 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:16,120 Speaker 1: how's it going today with the Stay away Jim right 572 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,920 Speaker 1: now forever, Jim, stay away from you. That's what I'd like. 573 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:25,920 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I'm very upset. But just the way 574 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,840 Speaker 1: to a girl's heart is not asking her to borrow 575 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:34,480 Speaker 1: your emodium. It was the weirdest plan, Jim. Good. We 576 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:40,960 Speaker 1: just hug against Jim. Why would you want to give 577 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 1: a girl? Arenas not that I wanted to give me that. 578 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to be there to help you when your head. 579 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,279 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have been there to hold your hair. What 580 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:53,320 Speaker 1: you threw up? That's love, is it, Jim? That sounds 581 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 1: like love to me? Oh, sir, sorry, just wanting to 582 00:34:56,640 --> 00:35:00,680 Speaker 1: get processed planty. It was like, do you have a 583 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:04,320 Speaker 1: handful of teeth, sir, dude, luck charms, you're gonna have 584 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,719 Speaker 1: to turn those in intake. I think I put him 585 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,359 Speaker 1: in my butt. They'll reach up there and get him out, sir, 586 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,880 Speaker 1: by the way I struck him up. So it's just 587 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:17,440 Speaker 1: you and me humblumba. My real name is Ted. I 588 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,600 Speaker 1: guess it's time to be honest then, Okay, Ted, it's 589 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you. You've 590 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:30,799 Speaker 1: heard my thing about being a very busy businessman. Yeah, 591 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 1: are you getting off on that or something like? Now, 592 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 1: it's it's a lie. I don't actually I don't have 593 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 1: a job. You're not the modern model of a very 594 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:53,880 Speaker 1: busy businessman. I wish, I wish. No, I'm I'm a sick. Oh, 595 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:58,799 Speaker 1: I guess a real sick. Oh sorry, I keep trying 596 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,320 Speaker 1: to untie your penises. It's okay, it's really at a 597 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:05,480 Speaker 1: tight knot. And you know, it's just I just don't really, 598 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:09,160 Speaker 1: it's all about connection. I'm just trying to connect with somebody, 599 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,600 Speaker 1: and I feel like I've been turned down so much. 600 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,560 Speaker 1: Is this the left testicool or this I can't tell. Okay, 601 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,200 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna try. And it felt like, well put 602 00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,720 Speaker 1: it through here. If they won't have an organic connection 603 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,680 Speaker 1: with me, and then I'll just force a connection here. 604 00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,239 Speaker 1: I am. Look at me, look at my WII. We 605 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:35,839 Speaker 1: right right? Sometimes it works, Oh, daylight, I guess uh, 606 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,759 Speaker 1: I guess now know that you're done with that we're 607 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,120 Speaker 1: gonna go back to business people. Huh yeah, we'll go 608 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,399 Speaker 1: back to being a purpose and go back to being 609 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:48,880 Speaker 1: a cop dressed like a birthday clown. Hey, Ted, before 610 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,920 Speaker 1: you get blumbled back in here, and I just want 611 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:54,600 Speaker 1: to say thanks for touching my dick and my balls. 612 00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:04,799 Speaker 1: You're welcome. My friend is an accident. Last of three 613 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 1: saints come from Zack. Zach writes insert backstory and compliments here, 614 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,880 Speaker 1: very running, and he literally wrote that love it. A 615 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,160 Speaker 1: drug addict goes to meet up with their usual dealer, 616 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,680 Speaker 1: but has some questions when he's shown his drug of 617 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,040 Speaker 1: choice has been traded out for a bag of carrots. 618 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:29,359 Speaker 1: No ranch dressing. Yeah, and that's what we got. That's 619 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,920 Speaker 1: what we're bringing in today. So you take it a 620 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,160 Speaker 1: leave with this. What's on the take it or leave it? Carrots? 621 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 1: You're asking us to take carrots. It's I don't know 622 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,920 Speaker 1: if you've been paying attention, but this other stuff has 623 00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,319 Speaker 1: been getting people sick left and right. Do you mean 624 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 1: the math? Yeah? I mean the math deal here we 625 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,840 Speaker 1: sell math. Yeah, and it's killing people. I think are 626 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:55,160 Speaker 1: gonna like it. What is that about? The ranch is 627 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 1: just as bad as math. I gotta go to a 628 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:58,960 Speaker 1: different guy to get ranch. No, I don't want you 629 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,719 Speaker 1: selling math. I don't want you selling meth. I don't 630 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,280 Speaker 1: want your selling ranch. Character good. I mean, we have clients, 631 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,799 Speaker 1: we have deliveries. You're putting us in danger, sending us 632 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:10,279 Speaker 1: out there with I don't care. I want you to 633 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,319 Speaker 1: just give it a test, give it a day. All right. 634 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,440 Speaker 1: We built this business for all right, you know what, 635 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,040 Speaker 1: Let's give it a day. Let's see what happens. Let's 636 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,320 Speaker 1: see what happens is we give carrots to drug addicts. 637 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let's see what happens everyone I work with 638 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 1: as a psychopath. I wish I wasn't related to you. Yeah, yeah, 639 00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:31,080 Speaker 1: here we go. Okay, what is this? What is this? 640 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:36,080 Speaker 1: It's a new new strand strand yea, yeah, yeah, okay, 641 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:43,000 Speaker 1: just chew ft soved? Do you want me to chew 642 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:56,040 Speaker 1: those for you? You h I feel the same. I 643 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,960 Speaker 1: feel the same same. I guess my tolerance is through 644 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:12,359 Speaker 1: the roof in your mouth. Oh hold on, we right 645 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:17,160 Speaker 1: with you. No one wants carrots like nobody wants arts. Well, 646 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 1: you got forty dollars? You know much of those? Can 647 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,520 Speaker 1: I give you all the reviews of committees are all 648 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,959 Speaker 1: from yelp. I feel the same. Ted writes, I feel 649 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,920 Speaker 1: the same. Lisa writes, I feel the same. Yeah, they 650 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:31,080 Speaker 1: all the reviews. I feel the same. No one's getting high, okay, 651 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,799 Speaker 1: so what else you got besides karts? It's my understanding 652 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,640 Speaker 1: that people are interested in drugs. Have you having the 653 00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:41,799 Speaker 1: same reviews from from people? Come in? Doors open? Oh 654 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:46,120 Speaker 1: if it isn't my little drug delivery girl. Watch ups 655 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:53,040 Speaker 1: are getting bigger. You remember, Polly? How are you doing? 656 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:59,200 Speaker 1: I can't wait to get some sweet ass drugs coming 657 00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:00,879 Speaker 1: to the to the show, night to the club. I'm 658 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:08,800 Speaker 1: going to be spinning up a fucking story. Your toes, 659 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:14,320 Speaker 1: everybody your toes, everybody touch your toes, everybody touch your toes? 660 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:20,440 Speaker 1: Enough alright, so I need my inspiration powder funny story, 661 00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: Oh you are love funny story? Um well, first of all, 662 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:30,399 Speaker 1: just an observation that music seems like I'm workout music 663 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:32,400 Speaker 1: like my gym would like love tracks like that, and 664 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,800 Speaker 1: they would probably pay for that. We like money, So 665 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,279 Speaker 1: maybe this is like a healthy lifestyle brand. It works 666 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,880 Speaker 1: out ten hours a day. Oh my god, I can 667 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:48,040 Speaker 1: help check this out. Check out this other track, Everybody 668 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:51,839 Speaker 1: touch nose Toes everybody touch your nose toes. Everybody touch 669 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:57,200 Speaker 1: nose toes. So I mean, yeah, I'm healthy, I'm hot. Well, 670 00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:03,440 Speaker 1: then I've got what doctor order. A little orange for 671 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:07,160 Speaker 1: you and a little for you. Okay, okay, this looks 672 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:14,760 Speaker 1: like a carrot. This is good. Okay, do before you try, 673 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,120 Speaker 1: bad boy, give her the money, give it, give it 674 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:22,640 Speaker 1: a little to your bugs. Bunny, here you go, alright, 675 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:28,160 Speaker 1: I gotta go. Okay, I'm looking forward. Probably probably give 676 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,600 Speaker 1: me a lighter to smoke the ship. There you go. 677 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:38,160 Speaker 1: Are you getting so high right now? It's not really lighting? Well, 678 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,440 Speaker 1: all right, hold on, let me put out some background 679 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:47,760 Speaker 1: music real quick. Okay, slowly, elbows, everybody, get your elbows. 680 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,160 Speaker 1: Everybody get up, polies. Let's given up when he gets 681 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,400 Speaker 1: so funked up, and let's shove these inner mouths. And 682 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,600 Speaker 1: I'm putting the ship wear my nose. I think these 683 00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,880 Speaker 1: are carrots. I think these are well, I don't be 684 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,040 Speaker 1: an idiot. Do you feel anything yet? No, I'm turning 685 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,440 Speaker 1: to sun up and turn it up a little bit, 686 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:15,960 Speaker 1: to turn up, turn turn up, turned up. I think 687 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:20,839 Speaker 1: I'm feeling, dude, I think I'm feeling. Are you feeling it? Oh? Well, 688 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:24,200 Speaker 1: I'll tell you that sounds like a success story. Actually yeah, well, 689 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,799 Speaker 1: I mean like that'll just be it'll be good. Doctor. 690 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:31,239 Speaker 1: We got in reports that there's a new drunk on 691 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:36,759 Speaker 1: the street again. We got reports to the doctor. Is 692 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,839 Speaker 1: your son need to be here? Doctor? It's bring your 693 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,600 Speaker 1: son to work? And would you like me? Oh my god, 694 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,880 Speaker 1: I forgot my son. I got to go home. I 695 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:50,000 Speaker 1: have to go home. Baby. What are you doing home? 696 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:54,400 Speaker 1: Where's my son? Our side? Where's my son? Where is 697 00:42:54,480 --> 00:43:03,680 Speaker 1: my boy? Boy? Boy? What boy boy? Did you clone yourself? Yes? Okay, 698 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,640 Speaker 1: I just want the real clone myself. Okay, come out, 699 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,800 Speaker 1: never do anything with me if you board all the 700 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,440 Speaker 1: son of a bit? Were you just caused my mom? 701 00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,239 Speaker 1: I called also my wife a bit. Now, Sun, you 702 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,520 Speaker 1: come outside right now. We're gonna go to work together. 703 00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,960 Speaker 1: Is it take a kid to work day again? It 704 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,600 Speaker 1: is now? Jump in my backpack and I'm gonna hustle 705 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:33,279 Speaker 1: us over there, right blink blink blinking? Alright, boy, yes, 706 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:38,120 Speaker 1: someone I don't know? You want your regular? Yes? One regular? 707 00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,480 Speaker 1: You go? Wow, it's so watch my daddy, so up 708 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:44,520 Speaker 1: ice cream? You know, I do it the best dollars 709 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,120 Speaker 1: for He's already eighting it. Okay, well, you know what, 710 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,960 Speaker 1: we're gonna pay six dollars for this. That's the normal price. 711 00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,480 Speaker 1: That's what we're paying. Bring your son to work day. 712 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,799 Speaker 1: It's out interesting. When I bring my son to work, 713 00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,359 Speaker 1: it's going to decrease the price. So five dollars. Let's 714 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,440 Speaker 1: do it, all right. See that's how you make a sales. Son, 715 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,840 Speaker 1: you're the smartest. Yeah, all right, so let's separate the scoop. 716 00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:08,480 Speaker 1: Stead I heard a new song. All right, everybody touch 717 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 1: your pose. Everybody touch your pose. Huh so strike a pose. 718 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,400 Speaker 1: Excuse me? Have you guys separated the scoop yet? No, 719 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,360 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get him to do that. Okay, 720 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,320 Speaker 1: what school would you like? I would like those two separated. 721 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,480 Speaker 1: Write the chocolate. No, no, no, I'm pointing at the strawberry. 722 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,880 Speaker 1: Watch my fingers, not my eyes. I'm crosside, but I'm 723 00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:35,800 Speaker 1: still fundy. Would like to strawberry. So we got to 724 00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,680 Speaker 1: separate that. Mommy wants to know how how are days going? 725 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,200 Speaker 1: He tells that bitch to shut her face. Oh I 726 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 1: wish I hadn't overheard that. I'm talking about you, ma'am. 727 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,440 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, I understand it. Seems to be 728 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:52,200 Speaker 1: about the mother puts a damper on the ice cream. Okay, 729 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:59,000 Speaker 1: so you wanted them types, Yes, ladies, first, I am 730 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,839 Speaker 1: so what about me? I'm a simple, cross eyed woman 731 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,560 Speaker 1: who doesn't like to hear other women disrespected while I'm 732 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:08,120 Speaker 1: trying to enjoy a nostalgic treat. You don't know Tina, 733 00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,040 Speaker 1: do you? I don't know Tina. If you knew Tina, 734 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,719 Speaker 1: I think you'd be disrespecting her as well. I don't 735 00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:15,640 Speaker 1: think I would call her a bit short. Hold on 736 00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:20,319 Speaker 1: a second, ye didna get out of it? And there's 737 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,080 Speaker 1: some customer I wants to say, Hello, what do you 738 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,080 Speaker 1: suck my dick? Yeah? Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. 739 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:28,719 Speaker 1: I'm gonna suck your Dudina. This is a lady with 740 00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:33,560 Speaker 1: who love strawberry growing their eyes. Oh they are crossed, sweetheart, 741 00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,520 Speaker 1: didn't she strawberry? Lady? Tina? Yes, let me see you, 742 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:43,480 Speaker 1: billy button man, I'm sorry, Oh God, bully, we go, 743 00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:58,360 Speaker 1: we go, we God, damn it, come on, we go 744 00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:06,320 Speaker 1: to Okay, everything okay in there? I think so. I 745 00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:10,560 Speaker 1: think so I lost you throwing up carrots. We hate 746 00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:15,439 Speaker 1: carrots and put carrots up here. But oh you gotta 747 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:28,520 Speaker 1: get this gu in ther status. Carrots were so dry dry, 748 00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:32,000 Speaker 1: there's a flavor? Can you see or hear me? I 749 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,240 Speaker 1: know who did this and I'm gonna solve it. Polly, 750 00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,759 Speaker 1: you go get fixed and I'm gonna take care of 751 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,239 Speaker 1: this problem. Get out of the e er off you 752 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:45,879 Speaker 1: got it? If it isn't my little drug dealer, don't 753 00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:51,640 Speaker 1: hate me? No, no, what are you doing inside of 754 00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:56,000 Speaker 1: all office? Did you bring attitude to a gunfight? It 755 00:46:56,120 --> 00:47:00,279 Speaker 1: seems I did. Can we help you with more drugs? Yeah? 756 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:07,000 Speaker 1: Actual drugs. This ship, you know, like carrots? It almost 757 00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,239 Speaker 1: killed my friend. So is this like a typical day 758 00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:12,719 Speaker 1: work mom or um? It was a day? I feel 759 00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:16,719 Speaker 1: like it was more like a day. What little man 760 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,160 Speaker 1: doing here? Oh it's bring your sun to work? Here 761 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,520 Speaker 1: is pissed? Wait? Is bringing your sun to work day? 762 00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:30,480 Speaker 1: I gotta go alright, gave you your kids? Or another episode? 763 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:34,160 Speaker 1: Coming to conclusion? I want to thank our alchemist. Let's 764 00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,840 Speaker 1: go around James Heeney. Where can we find you? Please 765 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:41,040 Speaker 1: find me on YouTube? What do we do once we 766 00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:44,640 Speaker 1: find just click on videos and walk away and when 767 00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:49,000 Speaker 1: it stops, start another one. That seems fair enough. Greigkowski 768 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,960 Speaker 1: at Kakowski on Twitter. Look for me in season six 769 00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,840 Speaker 1: of Drunk History. Congratulations a little movie called Wine Country 770 00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,280 Speaker 1: and is it you? H I n e I wish, 771 00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:12,239 Speaker 1: but yeah, hey, I don't know that. I hope I don't. 772 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:16,000 Speaker 1: I deleted my entire Twitter, did you Yep? Gone, just 773 00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:21,320 Speaker 1: wiped it it. I looked through observations about guacamole retweets. No, 774 00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,399 Speaker 1: you're gonna go more trite. Yeah, I'm trying for something 775 00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,720 Speaker 1: new this year. Haven't made the leap into the first tweet. 776 00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:30,600 Speaker 1: But follow me and that's the wrongland and see what happens. 777 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:36,040 Speaker 1: Stand by very excit. Chris Alvarado at Chris Alvarado. What 778 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,120 Speaker 1: about Alchemy? This dot com? Alchemy this dot com for 779 00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,160 Speaker 1: all the latest and greatest inside scoop to your favorite podcast? 780 00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,239 Speaker 1: Nice Joey Grister, Jeffy Greeber, What's what are you saying? 781 00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:48,920 Speaker 1: That's what kind of a thing is? That's my hand? 782 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,080 Speaker 1: Do you spell it? J e b b y g 783 00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,880 Speaker 1: r e b e r? How many other options did 784 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,839 Speaker 1: you look at before you chose? I had my name 785 00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,120 Speaker 1: of for Joey Greer, but I was like, that's too easy. 786 00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,120 Speaker 1: You know what I'm I'm gonna make it difficult for 787 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:02,239 Speaker 1: the people. I mean, I'm just trying to you know, 788 00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,080 Speaker 1: the Feds around you know what I mean? Yeah, you 789 00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:05,960 Speaker 1: know what I mean. I want to stay you know 790 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,040 Speaker 1: what I mean. I know I don't know what you mean. 791 00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 1: Do you mean the federalies that could be a part 792 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,279 Speaker 1: of it. If you got fed in the first part 793 00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:17,839 Speaker 1: of the word, then that's I'm scared of that. Yeah, Federation, Federation, 794 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:26,040 Speaker 1: stay away from them. Who did a great job writing 795 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:33,279 Speaker 1: the jokes for Megan mollally hosting the saga Wards. Hey, 796 00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:41,759 Speaker 1: let's go to Dug Bayne, Sophie Liechtman, producer to the 797 00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:48,719 Speaker 1: stars in this particular show, rob By the Side Project 798 00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,759 Speaker 1: and don't forget you can see the group live at 799 00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:56,920 Speaker 1: the west Side Comedy Theater March. That's a Wednesday, eight pm. 800 00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,759 Speaker 1: Get your tickets at west Side com Many dot com. 801 00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:04,200 Speaker 1: Very excited about our first live show and if you're 802 00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,160 Speaker 1: in the Los Angeles area, please come check us out 803 00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:10,359 Speaker 1: and go to I Heart radio dot com and find 804 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,640 Speaker 1: all the great podcasts there. Subscribe to this one. Tell 805 00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,839 Speaker 1: everyone you've ever met please and write to us your 806 00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,439 Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. Until next time, 807 00:50:18,920 --> 00:51:10,160 Speaker 1: Alchemy This I con