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Speaker 1: First date of follow up powered by the Advocates Injury

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Speaker 1: Attorneys online at advocateslad dot com.

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Speaker 2: Cole is on the phone today for a first day

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Speaker 2: follow up and he's getting ghosted by a woman named Aria.

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Speaker 2: So in a few minutes we'll call her and see

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Speaker 2: if she'll tell us why she's ghosting him and maybe

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Speaker 2: get him a second date. But first, Cole, how long

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Speaker 2: has it been since he talked to Aria?

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Speaker 3: Hey, guys, uh, it's been a few weeks.

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Speaker 4: Enough to wear.

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Speaker 3: You know, something's up for sure, and I'd like to

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Speaker 3: know what's going on.

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Speaker 1: Are you still thinking you like Aria or you just

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Speaker 1: want to know what's up? No?

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Speaker 3: I mean I definitely like her. I thought there was

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Speaker 3: a vibe and you know, it was a good night.

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Speaker 3: I just I honestly don't know what what's like?

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Speaker 4: Do tump to this sometime?

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Speaker 3: You know? I don't know. Let's come through to the top.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you just tell us about the date? Then?

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Speaker 3: Sure? Yeah. So we started at this wine bar and

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Speaker 3: it wasn't one of those pretentious places like it's actually

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Speaker 3: was really super chill and viby. It had string lights

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Speaker 3: on the ceiling and shelves of books everywhere, and it's

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Speaker 3: a little stage and the corner, and there was actually

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Speaker 3: a guy there playing acoustic covers, which is perfect because

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Speaker 3: he music is my kind of thing. That's sort of

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Speaker 3: what I do. And so anyway, we ordered a flight

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Speaker 3: and Aria didn't pretend to know all the wine turns,

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Speaker 3: which is cute and fun. And she took a sip

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Speaker 3: and said, you know, this one tastes like sadness, and

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Speaker 3: I started laughing because that's funny, and you know, she's

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Speaker 3: funny like that, doesn't try too hard, and it was

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Speaker 3: just like just a free phone sort of vibe. Then

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Speaker 3: we get into like one of those conversations when you

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Speaker 3: kind of don't expect on a first date. You know.

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Speaker 3: We talked about our parents, about how we grew up,

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Speaker 3: what we want out of our life, you know, kind

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Speaker 3: of deep stuff. She told me about traveling solo and

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Speaker 3: how she's addicted to books she can't finish, and I

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Speaker 3: admitted I still write songs in my notebook like a

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Speaker 3: teenager because I'm a musician and didn't learned about that.

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Speaker 3: The barktown was book clothing tabs, and neither of us

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Speaker 3: pretty much was moving, like we were just kind of

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Speaker 3: like just gazing, you know, kept talking to each other,

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Speaker 3: leaning in like there was no one around us.

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Speaker 4: The room had disappeared.

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Speaker 3: It was really sweet. She had this way of looking

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Speaker 3: at me where you know, I felt seen. You know,

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Speaker 3: you don't get that too often. You know, if you've

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Speaker 3: got any you guys date, but like it's it's not

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Speaker 3: easy out there.

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Speaker 2: Do you think she felt the same way?

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Speaker 3: I think so. For sure there was an energy there.

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Speaker 3: If she wasn't liking it or feeling I assumed she

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Speaker 3: would have sort of say I'm gonna get away, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna get going. She didn't say that at all. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know she's different, she's sharp, you know, she challenges me,

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Speaker 3: and but she also has like this amazing stuffs died

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Speaker 3: to her. The way she listened. There wasn't just small talk,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, it was I don't know,

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Speaker 3: it just felt real.

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Speaker 2: You like her. What could have gone wrong?

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Speaker 3: Then it's a great question. I don't know. At the

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Speaker 3: end of at the end of the day, she said,

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Speaker 3: she suggested, I don't know, maybe heading back to my place,

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Speaker 3: which okay, I wanted to, but she had a few

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Speaker 3: glasses of wine and I didn't want anything to happen

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Speaker 3: when we were both totally clear headed. You know what,

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Speaker 3: we weren't very much like. We weren't. We had a

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Speaker 3: few drinks, so we're like, we were just kind of

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Speaker 3: buzzing and having a nice time. My mom raised me

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Speaker 3: to respect women, so for me, I called it a

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Speaker 3: night right there. You know. So maybe or maybe she

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Speaker 3: thinks I'm not really into her by doing that, or

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Speaker 3: she's embarrassed that I said no, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Women don't take it very well when they get turned

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Speaker 1: down after asserting themselves.

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Speaker 2: Kind of like, but we do love a respectful man.

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Speaker 1: We do love a respectful man, so don't change that.

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Speaker 1: But if she didn't understand that's what was happening, did.

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Speaker 2: You explain it to her, did you say sorry, I'm

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Speaker 2: a respectful man.

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Speaker 4: I did say that.

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Speaker 3: I texted her the next day, the weeks how she

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Speaker 3: was on and next when she didn't respond.

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Speaker 2: Cole is on the phone and Cole is getting ghosted

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Speaker 2: by Aria. So we're about to call her and see

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Speaker 2: if she'll tell us why she's ghosting him and maybe

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Speaker 2: get him a second date. But first, Cole, why don't

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Speaker 2: you break down your date again for us one more time?

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Speaker 3: Real quick, yeah, so real quick. I mean we went

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Speaker 3: to this really cool wine bar. We were vibing. We

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Speaker 3: spent a couple hours there, you know, the bark and

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Speaker 3: brought us our check. We were still sort of gazing

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Speaker 3: at each other. They're just telling every time I'm not

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Speaker 3: in a rush to get out of there. And then

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Speaker 3: she sort of suggested head back to her plate. But

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Speaker 3: you know, we would drink in. I want to be respectful,

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Speaker 3: and I said, no, that's okay, I'm gonna call it

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Speaker 3: a night here. And so to me, maybe think she

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Speaker 3: thinks I'm not into her, or she's embarrassed or whatever.

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Speaker 3: But I text her the day after and she didn't respond,

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Speaker 3: and it's been like ghost town ever since.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, are you ready for us to call her

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Speaker 2: and see if you tell us? Why? Yes? All right,

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Speaker 2: here we go. Hello, Hi, man, I speak to Aria? Please?

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Speaker 4: Yes, this is she?

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Speaker 2: Hey, Aria, how are you? This is a radio show.

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Speaker 2: It's called the Jebel Show.

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Speaker 1: Hi are My name is Nina.

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Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Victoria, and my name is Jubal. How are you.

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Speaker 4: I'm a little confused.

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Speaker 2: It's a radio show. It's called The Jubile Show. Have

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Speaker 2: you ever listened to it?

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Speaker 4: I think I feel like I've heard of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Well, we do a segment on the show.

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Speaker 2: It's called the first Date follow Up. That's where if

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Speaker 2: you go on a date with someone and you ghost them,

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Speaker 2: that person can email us to ask you why you're

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Speaker 2: ghosting them. And we got an email about you from somebody. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: any idea?

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Speaker 4: Is it?

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Speaker 5: Coal?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 4: Coal?

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Speaker 2: Do you mind telling us?

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Speaker 3: Why?

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Speaker 4: Sure?

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Speaker 5: This is so strange. He sent me a song that

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Speaker 5: I felt like was a trap. He like wrote me

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Speaker 5: a whole song about how he felt seeing me for

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Speaker 5: the very first time, and he told you that we've

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Speaker 5: been on one date, right.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, it was way too much.

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Speaker 5: It's like very love bombing, saying all the right things,

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Speaker 5: like everything that you should say to get someone to

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Speaker 5: fall fast, and it just felt so manipulative.

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Speaker 4: It felt so love Bomby.

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Speaker 1: You didn't think it was sweet that somebody wrote you

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Speaker 1: a song after meeting you.

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Speaker 4: Okay, let me wait, hold on, let me pull this

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Speaker 4: up for you for a second. It was weird, but

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Speaker 4: he wrote for me. Okay, your laugh lit the room

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Speaker 4: like a spark in the night.

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Speaker 5: One glass of red wine and everything felt right. I

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Speaker 5: don't need forever to know what I've found with you, Ariya.

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Speaker 5: My feet never touched the ground.

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Speaker 4: That's so love bomby, and it's kind of just like icky, Okay,

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Speaker 4: that's insane. After like a couple hours together, he.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like an artist, like he was just inspired by you.

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Speaker 1: Have you been loved bomb before?

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Speaker 2: Aria?

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're cautious about that type of

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Speaker 1: behavior for a reason.

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Speaker 5: I've definitely been loved bomb before, and so I know

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Speaker 5: I'm very cautious. But I think I'm for a reason

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Speaker 5: because I think it's so easy to fall for love bombing,

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Speaker 5: because it just feels good and it feels like without

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Speaker 5: seeming like a self obsessed.

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Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, of course you'd like me.

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Speaker 5: Of course I'm really great, you know, Like, but you know,

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Speaker 5: I think it was like it was very strong, very

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Speaker 5: like head over heels, my feet never touched the ground,

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Speaker 5: like the good first date.

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Speaker 4: But damn.

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Speaker 1: Money, can I jump in?

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Speaker 2: As on the phone listening and wants to talk to you?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god?

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Speaker 2: What hey?

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Speaker 3: The phone was me being honest. My mom raised me

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Speaker 3: to believe women are goddesses, Like I don't fake that stuff.

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Speaker 5: You're doing it right now though, Like you're saying exactly

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Speaker 5: what I'm supposed to want to hear to like make

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Speaker 5: me think that your like head over heels crazy about me, And.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so wait, so treating you with respect is a problem.

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Speaker 3: But I didn't take you home because I didn't want

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Speaker 3: to cross the line. That's not being you know, if

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Speaker 3: you love that it's this basic decency. I thought, well,

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Speaker 3: it's not just.

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Speaker 5: You think that like like makes you this saintly person.

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Speaker 5: I just suggested that we go back to yours because honestly,

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Speaker 5: it was.

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Speaker 4: Like, in the moment, it felt right. I felt like

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Speaker 4: continuing the night. But that's just physical cool.

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Speaker 5: That's not like love. That's not like love at first sight.

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Speaker 5: And that's what you did with this song. It's so loaded.

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Speaker 5: It's like so feelings heavy.

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Speaker 4: Does that make sense?

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Speaker 3: I mean yeah, yeah, I don't. Someone hurt you, obviously,

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Speaker 3: and someone someone must have think a love song is

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Speaker 3: turning you in a different direction or something like. That's

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Speaker 3: not what this was about. Like, this is me being

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Speaker 3: open and kind and vulnerable.

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Speaker 4: Well, guys, I read you the short Bird and I

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Speaker 4: read you verse one.

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Speaker 1: Do you think you would have been more comfortable if

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Speaker 1: he dedicated a song to you that already exists, versus

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Speaker 1: like writing one I don't.

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Speaker 5: Know, like maybe right song, but then maybe don't like

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Speaker 5: give it to me until maybe we've seen each other

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Speaker 5: a few more times, and it's like I have to confess,

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Speaker 5: I wrote this song about the way that I felt

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Speaker 5: about you after our first date like that.

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Speaker 4: That would have been so romantic.

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Speaker 3: Then let me prove that, let me prove not all

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Speaker 3: men are the same. Let mean, I'm not asking for

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Speaker 3: forever here, I just want a second date. No songs

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Speaker 3: this time, just up.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, you know, just did it again?

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Speaker 2: Would you like to go? We'll pay for it. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I like to hear that.

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Speaker 3: Are you?

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Speaker 5: Oh god, you just don't quit? But can you hear

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Speaker 5: the way? And I'm it's not even your fault, like

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Speaker 5: you're an artist, I get it.

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Speaker 4: I'm not happy forever.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that if he can kind of like

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Speaker 5: just stile it back a little bit and not be

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Speaker 5: so waxing poetic, I could.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're you're asking me to change like who

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Speaker 3: I am. They're asking me to change this core value

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Speaker 3: of who I am. I can't do that, you know

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Speaker 3: what I'm saying? This is who I am. I mean

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Speaker 3: here's the thing. If I'm into you, then I'm into you.

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Speaker 3: And I'm not gonna to be bashful about it. I'm

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Speaker 3: going to let you know. You know. And we had

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Speaker 3: a moment that night, and it was sweet, it was tender,

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Speaker 3: it was kind. You know. I didn't want to go

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Speaker 3: home with you, obviously, I want to be respectful, and

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Speaker 3: I don't you know what I mean, Like, this is

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Speaker 3: what a gentleman does. And I think your smile is

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Speaker 3: a good sense and the sunset for that thing is

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Speaker 3: beaman and I you know, there's something here that makes

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Speaker 3: me pull out this poetry and motion type stuff and

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Speaker 3: you should be here. You should know about it.

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Speaker 4: Right, I mean, I think that this is who he

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Speaker 4: is through and through.

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Speaker 5: It's hard to not hard to wonder if you know,

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Speaker 5: has she sent that exact song to another girl and

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Speaker 5: swapped out the name in this a move? But like

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Speaker 5: it just feels so performative, but maybe it's genuine.

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Speaker 3: I've written songs, but this one is specifically for you.

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Speaker 3: This isn't for anybody else. This is what inspired me

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Speaker 3: to write. I shared it with you. I'm not your

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Speaker 3: typical you know musician you see on the corner of

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Speaker 3: the street or playing at the bar. That's is something

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Speaker 3: wholesome and I don't know how I want to prove

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Speaker 3: with you, but let me go out again. Let's try

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Speaker 3: it again. Let's go to a second date. And I'm

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Speaker 3: not going to bring my guitar. See this is real

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Speaker 3: at least given all the chance, what do you have

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Speaker 3: to lose. These guys are gonna pay for work.

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Speaker 5: Come on, sure, yeah you can just kind of get

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Speaker 5: to know each other on some real on a real level.

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Speaker 4: No guitar, no notebooks, don't write.

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Speaker 5: A poem and ethic poem about you know, my parking skills.

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Speaker 3: I would like that.

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Speaker 2: Congratulations, got another date?

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Speaker 3: Amazing, amazing, this is this actually what was worth it?

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Speaker 3: Thank you guys. It's good and Aria, this is this

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Speaker 3: is wonderful. I'm excited to see you again. And you know,

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Speaker 3: there is no flower in this world that is as

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Speaker 3: budding as you are. Just know that, oh wow, you

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Speaker 2: Will first date, follow up,