WEBVTT - Rules for Sons

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<v Speaker 1>Sit down some There's something I'd like to talk to

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<v Speaker 1>you about. Actually thirty two things i'd like to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to you about. It's one more thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I always like it when you do a tease and

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't got the slightest idea what we're about to

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<v Speaker 2>talk about. It's exciting is.

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<v Speaker 1>That, first of all, this may be my last. This

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<v Speaker 1>will be my last one More Thing podcast until the

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<v Speaker 1>July maybe ever if I decide to defect to Alaska

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<v Speaker 1>and become an Alaska.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're eaten by a polar bear, my parents got

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<v Speaker 2>chased by a polar bear when they went there. When

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<v Speaker 2>when I sent him to Alaska for my mom's sixty

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<v Speaker 2>oh oh, chased by a damn. I got them a

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<v Speaker 2>cruise to Alaska and they cruised around and everything like that,

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<v Speaker 2>and then they went they added some other stuff on there.

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<v Speaker 2>They took a helicopter up to Barrel Way up North

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<v Speaker 2>oh and they are walking around in this tiny little

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<v Speaker 2>town full of drunk eskimos. According to my dad and

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<v Speaker 2>I had a polar bear came out and the guide

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<v Speaker 2>was like, we need to back to the bus, and

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<v Speaker 2>so they all like hustle back to the bus because

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<v Speaker 2>they apparently you don't mess around with the bowler Bears.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I wish we had time to do some of

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<v Speaker 1>those extra things that we're doing. A cruise up and

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<v Speaker 1>down the coast from Vancouver way up into Alaskan back,

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<v Speaker 1>and that was long enough for our lifestyles right now.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I could absolutely see going back. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if you've ever looked at a map, Alaska is very,

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<v Speaker 1>very large.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. The one thing I'm sure you'll be doing is

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<v Speaker 2>drinking a drink with ice cubes that are fifty thousand

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<v Speaker 2>years old or whatever. I guess that's a filing.

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<v Speaker 1>The respect I deserve. Yeah, yeah, great, super, Okay, it's

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<v Speaker 1>a good gimmu. Yeah, it should be nice. I'm really

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<v Speaker 1>looking forward to it, and I'm blessed that we still

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy each other's company as much as we do. So

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<v Speaker 1>the thirty two things that I mentioned are rules for suns,

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<v Speaker 1>and I love this. I mean, print this, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna retweet it, spread it, sons correct. Yeah, yes, suns.

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<v Speaker 1>Su ns have their own rules.

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<v Speaker 2>Nine billion years right exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Rule number one, create heat and light through fusion. Rule

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<v Speaker 1>number two see rule number one. So these are good.

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<v Speaker 1>We can you know, raise a hand if anybody wants

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<v Speaker 1>to jump in and dwell on one of them, or

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<v Speaker 1>we can just keep moving. But a lot of these

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<v Speaker 1>are really really great. Number one, never shake a man's

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<v Speaker 1>hand sitting down. That was interesting, fairly minor point, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's a good one.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, get up. Yeah. I don't think I's ever taught that,

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<v Speaker 2>but I think it came to me at some point.

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<v Speaker 1>It's funny because some of these are like, it's like

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<v Speaker 1>a scale of one of five. Some of them are fives, like,

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<v Speaker 1>by god, every man should know this, and every young

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<v Speaker 1>man should know this, and if you weren't taught it,

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<v Speaker 1>it's an indictable offense. That's like your fives down to

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<v Speaker 1>the ones like what really? And number two would be

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<v Speaker 1>one of those. I don't enter a pool by the stairs?

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<v Speaker 1>What really? Jump in? Wow?

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<v Speaker 2>Is there a never play a poker with a guy

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<v Speaker 2>named Doc? Is there one of those?

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<v Speaker 1>That's a good one. Number three the man at the

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<v Speaker 1>barbecue grill is the closest thing to a king. He

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<v Speaker 1>is in charge. That's right. Four In a negotiation, never

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<v Speaker 1>make the first offer. I've not read that for years

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<v Speaker 1>and years and years. Five request the late checkout It's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>My wife always acts like I've asked, may I have

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<v Speaker 1>sex with your daughter?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm that way. I feel like it's really I'm really

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<v Speaker 2>putting them out. Even I've had other people at I

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<v Speaker 2>just I can't.

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<v Speaker 1>I just feel like I shouldn't.

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<v Speaker 2>We had an agreements. Check out his ten. When I

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<v Speaker 2>got the key, you told me I can't make up

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<v Speaker 2>ruled new rules.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I ask for it all the time. Number six.

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<v Speaker 1>When entrusted with a secret, keep it. That's the that's

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<v Speaker 1>at level five. Absolutely uh. Seven Hold your heroes to

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<v Speaker 1>a higher standard. That's a good one. Just because you

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<v Speaker 1>they're your heroes doesn't mean let them slide because you

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<v Speaker 1>know they're No. If they're deserving your hero of being

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<v Speaker 1>your hero, they should clear a high bar. Let's see Eight.

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<v Speaker 1>Return a borrowed car with a tank full of gas,

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<v Speaker 1>a full tank of gas. That is a good one.

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<v Speaker 1>I've always done that. Eight. Oh I'm sorry. Nine play

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<v Speaker 1>with passion or not at all. Church rec leagues may

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<v Speaker 1>be less so you know Friday beer leagues co ed.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, when shaking hands, grip firmly and look them

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<v Speaker 1>in the eye again, that's that's a level fiver and

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<v Speaker 1>I know young men who don't, and I'm like, i'd

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<v Speaker 1>really like to talk to your dad. This is an

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<v Speaker 1>old expression, but a good one. Don't let a wishbone

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<v Speaker 1>grow where a backbone should be. Don't be wishing, do

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<v Speaker 1>the work. I like this one. If you need music

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<v Speaker 1>on the beach, you're missing the point. Yeah, I've thought

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<v Speaker 1>that way before. Camping out in the woods and people

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<v Speaker 1>bring like some sort of cool music system, and I'm like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I get it, but I also kind of like just

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<v Speaker 1>the quiet of the the woods. Yeah, I think you've

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<v Speaker 1>missed the point. They've missed the point, and camping is

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<v Speaker 1>a really good example of that. I agree one hundred percent.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of guys have tunes in their golf carts

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<v Speaker 1>these days. If you play golf, a lot of people

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<v Speaker 1>are listening to music. You mentioned that the other day,

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<v Speaker 1>and I, like a lot of my good friends, I

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<v Speaker 1>liked the quiet of the golf course back in the day,

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<v Speaker 1>which I suppose doesn't exist anymore. I well, you're not

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<v Speaker 1>allowed to have it loud really at any golf course,

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<v Speaker 1>and like your better course, No, it's got to be

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<v Speaker 1>if you can hear it across the fairway. It's too loud.

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<v Speaker 2>But even in my own foursome, I don't. I think

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<v Speaker 2>I'd prefer not to have it at all.

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<v Speaker 1>But oh no, I don't want it at all, but

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<v Speaker 1>the majority of my friends do, so I just go

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<v Speaker 1>along with it. I've gotten used to it. But it's

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<v Speaker 1>just I'm out there to hear the rustle of the

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<v Speaker 1>wind in the trees and the birds making noise, and

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<v Speaker 1>you know the sound of the club hitting the ball,

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<v Speaker 1>and it makes it harder to communicate to everybody. You've

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<v Speaker 1>got to like yell above their music. Did you get

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<v Speaker 1>a five there? What did you get a five there?

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<v Speaker 2>What do you think? That's still ridiculous? You're in the woods,

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<v Speaker 2>you're escaping the hubbub of life to go into the woods,

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<v Speaker 2>and you bring the noise of back where you live.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, And I try really hard not to

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<v Speaker 1>be judgmental about this, which.

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<v Speaker 2>Is marshally judgmental news for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, it's a side of me if you have

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<v Speaker 1>seen ah ah. And it's hard to even describe this

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<v Speaker 1>without sounding judgmental. I don't at all have the need

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<v Speaker 1>for constant background music. I don't I don't need it,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want it. I find it distracting, and what's

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<v Speaker 1>what's the point. Are you bored? Do you not like life?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you need to be entertained? Is this not entertaining enough?

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<v Speaker 1>I just I don't get it.

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<v Speaker 2>I was never having the TV on unless I was

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<v Speaker 2>watching a specific show, as opposed to I've known lots

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<v Speaker 2>of people back when I used to enter other people's

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<v Speaker 2>homes in them mine. I haven't been in another person's

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<v Speaker 2>home nor them in mine in a very, very very

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<v Speaker 2>long time.

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<v Speaker 1>It's safest.

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<v Speaker 2>But people who had just the TV was always on,

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<v Speaker 2>just kind of as a background noise.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I hate that, but you know, teach their own.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>This one's kind of old time, but I like it.

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<v Speaker 1>Carry two hen kerchiefs. The one in your back pocket

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<v Speaker 1>is for you, the one in your breast pocket is

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<v Speaker 1>for her moving along.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait, that's a different era.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you marry the girl, you marry her family two

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<v Speaker 1>x to a large extent. Yeah yeah. Uh. Number fifteen

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<v Speaker 1>is a classic. Be like a duck, remained calm on

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<v Speaker 1>the surface and paddle like crazy underneath. Sixteen. You'll love

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<v Speaker 1>this one. Jack. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've done a lot of that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've done some of it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's pretty awesome and I do enjoy it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, although.

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<v Speaker 2>There's definitely been I've definitely traveled alone and done stuff

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<v Speaker 2>where I thought, ah, it's really a shame. Yeah. So

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<v Speaker 2>and so, whether it's my kids or a romantic companion

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<v Speaker 2>of any kind, is not enjoying this also, right right, Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's see, never be afraid to ask out the best

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<v Speaker 1>looking girl in the room. I wish there rules for sons.

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<v Speaker 2>I wish I'd have lived that one when I was younger. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have any real regrets in life because I'm

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<v Speaker 2>happy with where things have ended up. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you change one thing and everything could change.

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<v Speaker 1>Time machine stepping on an ant Yep, we've all seen

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<v Speaker 1>the movie.

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<v Speaker 2>But I do wish er a couple of girls in

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<v Speaker 2>high school that looking back on it, they clearly liked

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<v Speaker 2>me in the way that I liked them, and I

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<v Speaker 2>just never made the move. And it just horrifies me.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know, you don't know, I think, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>we could have met, fall in love, had kids. I'd

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<v Speaker 2>still be in that town the rest of my life.

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<v Speaker 2>I also could be perfectly happy with that, you don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Right right, right, Yeah, there there's like a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>reunion type things I went to where girls who I

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<v Speaker 1>thought were just cute he said, oh my god, I

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<v Speaker 1>had such a crush on you. And I'm like what,

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<v Speaker 1>But I put that down to my own cluelessness, not

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<v Speaker 1>lack of confidence, total inability to pick up on signals.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a couple of examples. But then one where we

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<v Speaker 2>would once a year do the I think they called

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<v Speaker 2>it morph Day or something like that. Anyway, it was

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<v Speaker 2>a backwards day where girls ask out the boys, oh

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<v Speaker 2>righteous shows you how old I am?

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<v Speaker 1>Sadie Hawkins dance. They used to call it went back

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<v Speaker 1>then day.

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<v Speaker 2>They didn't in mynd school, but whatever, it was that concept.

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<v Speaker 2>And this girl asked me out, and we went out

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<v Speaker 2>and had a good time, and she was super attractive

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<v Speaker 2>and like obviously she know she would have liked a

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<v Speaker 2>follow up of how about Friday? We do so mcginner

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<v Speaker 2>and I didn't. I didn't yet, I know, I know,

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<v Speaker 2>And she ended up dating a friend of mine. I

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<v Speaker 2>was like what what?

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<v Speaker 1>I too have few regrets. But there was a girl

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<v Speaker 1>who was a year older than me and just pretty

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<v Speaker 1>and smart, and she came back for homecoming and said

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<v Speaker 1>we should go to the whatever together and a party,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, yeah, okay, great, and I got hammered,

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<v Speaker 1>just got hammered, and I was useless. I was and

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<v Speaker 1>she fled. Yeah stupid idiot.

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<v Speaker 2>Russian ride that I thought of.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, Yeah, yeah, she's so pretty. So let me expand

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<v Speaker 1>on that one briefly. Never be afraid to ask out

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<v Speaker 1>the best looking girl in the room, and when she

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<v Speaker 1>laughs at you, never be afraid to say, she's probably

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<v Speaker 1>a lesbian.

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<v Speaker 2>It's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>The next one, never turned down a breath mint speaks

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<v Speaker 1>for itself. I don't need to bring one of these

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<v Speaker 1>on our cruise, but I am because it's a nice cruise.

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<v Speaker 1>A sport coat is worth a thousand words.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if that's still true or not.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't either, but I often rather be the guy

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<v Speaker 1>who's boy, he's a little fancy tonight than the only

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<v Speaker 1>guy not well.

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<v Speaker 2>I think in the modern world, especially in California, you're

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<v Speaker 2>the dork who wears the sport coat, and I'm off

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<v Speaker 2>in that person, cause cool guys wear like cool casual clothes.

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<v Speaker 1>We got a bunch more so let's keep moving. Number twenty,

0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:06.640
<v Speaker 1>Try your own eulogy never stop revising. Oh that's a

0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:08.480
<v Speaker 1>big one. I'll let you got to play.

0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:10.160
<v Speaker 2>You disappointed so many people.

0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.719
<v Speaker 1>Number twenty one Thank a veteran. Then make it up

0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:19.440
<v Speaker 1>to him. Ooh, saving private Ryan, Make it worth it,

0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.960
<v Speaker 1>Make the country worth the sacrifice. Think about that as

0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:27.400
<v Speaker 1>we approach our two hundred and fiftieth birthday. Yeah. Yeah.

0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:30.439
<v Speaker 1>Number twenty two, I love this one. It brings a

0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:32.360
<v Speaker 1>tear to my eye. Eat lunch with the new kid.

0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:38.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, reach out to that obviously lonely.

0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:41.200
<v Speaker 2>You're doing it of your own free will. I'll never

0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:42.920
<v Speaker 2>forget one school. I was a new kid at a

0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:44.920
<v Speaker 2>lot of every schools. One school I went to, the

0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:47.760
<v Speaker 2>teachers made people sit with me, and I knew they

0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.160
<v Speaker 2>were making him sit with me, And that was worse

0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:54.559
<v Speaker 2>than sitting alone, knowing the people had been forced against

0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:55.680
<v Speaker 2>their will to sit with me.

0:12:56.360 --> 0:13:00.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh, after writing an angry email, read it careful, then

0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:04.079
<v Speaker 1>delete it. Certainly, don't hit send. If sending it is

0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.880
<v Speaker 1>a good idea today, it'll still be a good idea tomorrow.

0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:09.560
<v Speaker 1>I've lived by those words and it has helped me.

0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:13.880
<v Speaker 1>Number twenty four. Ask your mom to play. She won't

0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:14.400
<v Speaker 1>let you win.

0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:16.600
<v Speaker 2>That's funny.

0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:18.000
<v Speaker 1>That is pretty funny.

0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.680
<v Speaker 2>Moms or is it women in general or moms, But no,

0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:24.800
<v Speaker 2>moms don't do that. They'll cross you and scrabble. Right,

0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:27.640
<v Speaker 2>you're a child, Yeah, get better at it. Yeah, my

0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:30.000
<v Speaker 2>mom did. Yeah.

0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:34.640
<v Speaker 1>Number twenty five manners maketh the man twenty six give credit,

0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:37.360
<v Speaker 1>take the blame. That's good. I wish i'd learned that

0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:41.640
<v Speaker 1>better and earlier. I've thought about that a lot. It's

0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:45.640
<v Speaker 1>funny my daughter, who's doing really, really well and soon

0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:52.040
<v Speaker 1>to be a legal eagle, she will go to her employer,

0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:55.520
<v Speaker 1>she's doing internships right now, and she will say, I'm

0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:58.000
<v Speaker 1>looking back on this, I think I screwed it up.

0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:02.040
<v Speaker 1>Here's what I did, as opposed to well I didn't know,

0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:06.400
<v Speaker 1>or you know, or well that's what somebody told me.

0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:12.360
<v Speaker 1>She's like the opposite of that. Where'd you get that? Kid?

0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:15.199
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, I work on that with my kids a lot.

0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:19.520
<v Speaker 2>Don't blame somebody for this. This was your doing right right.

0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:21.680
<v Speaker 1>And you know, I've told this story more than once.

0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:24.040
<v Speaker 1>I observed it on the submarine that my brother was

0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:27.480
<v Speaker 1>the executive officer on a guy screwed up and he

0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.440
<v Speaker 1>said to the whole team, all right, what went wrong?

0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:32.960
<v Speaker 1>And how do we fix it? And everybody says, I

0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:34.720
<v Speaker 1>thought it was this, and it turns out to be that,

0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:38.960
<v Speaker 1>like one hundred percent accountability, and I thought, wow, that's

0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:42.760
<v Speaker 1>what that looks like, because otherwise, you know, there are

0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.440
<v Speaker 1>hundreds of lives at stake and billions of dollars. So

0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:48.920
<v Speaker 1>I thought that was cool. Give credit, take the blame.

0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.800
<v Speaker 1>Twenty seven Stand up to bullies and protect those bullied

0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:57.320
<v Speaker 1>came into that. Twenty eight Write down your dreams. Do

0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.240
<v Speaker 1>they mean like the things your brain was doing while

0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:01.240
<v Speaker 1>you slept, or like.

0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 2>A dog was chasing me and I couldn't run like

0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:04.600
<v Speaker 2>those kind of dreams?

0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:08.120
<v Speaker 1>Or do they mean some day I'd like to volunteer

0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:11.360
<v Speaker 1>and help troubled youth, or you know, someday I'd like

0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:13.600
<v Speaker 1>to retire to Florida. It doesn't make it.

0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:15.440
<v Speaker 2>Some way, I'd like to raise money for those who

0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:24.920
<v Speaker 2>can't run from dogs, the inexplicably dead legged let's see

0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:28.080
<v Speaker 2>twenty nine. Always protect your siblings and your teammates.

0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:33.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Thirty be confident and humble at the same time. Again,

0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:38.160
<v Speaker 1>that's your level five. Confident and humble because the two

0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:43.080
<v Speaker 1>are absolutely compatible. Thirty one call and visit your parents

0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:43.960
<v Speaker 1>off and they miss you.

0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:45.120
<v Speaker 2>That brings a tear.

0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:50.480
<v Speaker 1>And finally, thirty two, I was at that. You know,

0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:53.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm better at it. Yeah, I have some regrets, but

0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:57.760
<v Speaker 1>and I let my kids get away with a text

0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:01.680
<v Speaker 1>on Father's Day, two of them. M hmm, maybe I'll

0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:04.760
<v Speaker 1>guilt them for a while. Thirty two. Guilt your children

0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.640
<v Speaker 1>when they disappoint you. No, thirty two is the healthiest

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.760
<v Speaker 1>relationships are those where you're a team, where you respect,

0:16:10.800 --> 0:16:15.160
<v Speaker 1>protect and stand up for each other. That's good. That's

0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:19.840
<v Speaker 1>good stuff. Those are I'm reposting now. These are your

0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:21.120
<v Speaker 1>rules for sons.

0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:22.040
<v Speaker 2>That's pretty good.

0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:25.960
<v Speaker 1>Do you like that? Yeah, that's a if you want

0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.480
<v Speaker 1>that list. We just retweeted it at the Armstrong and

0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:31.840
<v Speaker 1>Getty Twitter account and I don't know, maybe Hanson can

0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:35.800
<v Speaker 1>put a link in hot links Armstrong and Geddy dot com.

0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:38.840
<v Speaker 2>Never played poker with a guy named Doc was another

0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.040
<v Speaker 2>one of those ridiculous subs of things.

0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:43.480
<v Speaker 1>I know, those that don't piss into the wind, and

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.960
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of different, it's practical.

0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:50.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh geez.

0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:54.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, don't don't play pool with a guy named

0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.320
<v Speaker 1>Fats anything Fats.

0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:57.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:01.000
<v Speaker 1>Number thirty three never talk fuckers, shake hands out of

0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:03.160
<v Speaker 1>urnal m Yeah, and.

0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:04.640
<v Speaker 2>Talk at the urinals A good one.

0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:08.679
<v Speaker 1>Mind your business, Well, I guess that's it.

0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:12.320
<v Speaker 2>Or always say water's cold and deep.