WEBVTT - Finding Community and Combating Caregiver Isolation (Abridged Version)

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<v Speaker 1>Hi everyone. I'm Holly Robinson, pete actor, author, advocate, do

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<v Speaker 1>it all mom, and I'm also a caregiver. And this

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<v Speaker 1>is care Walks, a podcast from iHeartRadio and Voltaian Arthritis

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<v Speaker 1>Pain Gel. It's a show for family caregivers who give

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<v Speaker 1>everything to everyone and need to make time for themselves

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<v Speaker 1>through movement. Every episode is designed for you to walk

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<v Speaker 1>as you listen, so just think of me and my

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<v Speaker 1>guests as your weekly walking buddies. We'll hear stories from

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<v Speaker 1>caregivers and gain tips and insights from health experts and

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<v Speaker 1>advocates who know how important it is to take care

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<v Speaker 1>of yourself and manage joint pain due to arthritis that

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<v Speaker 1>often accompanies being a caregiver. We'll discover community ourselves and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe even alleviate some joint pain due to arthritis in

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<v Speaker 1>the process as we walk together and connect to the

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<v Speaker 1>best parts of being a caregiver. So thanks for joining

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<v Speaker 1>us on what will be another great episode of care Walks.

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<v Speaker 1>How has your week been? Were you able to take

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<v Speaker 1>some time for yourself? Don't forget to lean on your

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<v Speaker 1>support systems and find ways to connect and reconnect with

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<v Speaker 1>the people and activities you love outside of your caregiving responsibilities.

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<v Speaker 1>As a reminder. Right now, you're listening to the abridged

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<v Speaker 1>version of this episode, but if you're looking to get

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<v Speaker 1>a little extra inspiration, don't miss a minute. Check out

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<v Speaker 1>the full length version of this episode in your podcast feed.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's episode is all about the importance of finding and

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<v Speaker 1>maintaining a community as a caregiver. It's so easy to

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<v Speaker 1>become an island and feel like you're all by yourself

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<v Speaker 1>in this role, and that isolation can lead to depression.

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<v Speaker 1>When I was younger, I didn't realize how much caregiver

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<v Speaker 1>isolation was affecting me. And that's why I'm so glad

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<v Speaker 1>that we can share care walks together, because you don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to do this all on your own. Today, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>be joined by caregiver Lakita Castin. Lakita has served as

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<v Speaker 1>a caregiver to multiple family members. In her first two

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<v Speaker 1>caregiving experiences with her aunt and uncle, Lakita frequently felt

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<v Speaker 1>alone and without any support. When another aunt of hers

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<v Speaker 1>became ill, she was determined to make sure her cousin

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<v Speaker 1>didn't go through the same sense of isolation she did.

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<v Speaker 1>Lakda volunteered to help her cousin and her aunt, and

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<v Speaker 1>she is now taking on a new mission with her organization,

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<v Speaker 1>caring for caregivers. Before we get to my conversation with Lakita,

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<v Speaker 1>let's get walking. A great mantra for today's conversation will

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<v Speaker 1>be I am stronger when I ask for help. Whenever

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<v Speaker 1>your to do list pops up during this walk, say

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<v Speaker 1>that to yourself, I am stronger when I ask for help.

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<v Speaker 1>Your feet connecting with the ground on each step. What

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<v Speaker 1>do you notice about the way each part of your

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<v Speaker 1>body works together to keep you in movement. Let's take

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<v Speaker 1>a couple of deep breaths together, In through the nose,

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<v Speaker 1>out through the mouth. One more time, In through your

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<v Speaker 1>nose and out through your mouth. If you're someone who

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<v Speaker 1>is responsible for the care of someone in your life,

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<v Speaker 1>you know that sometimes it can feel incredibly isolating, but

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<v Speaker 1>you are not alone. With each step you take, think

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<v Speaker 1>about someone who has been there for you. How do

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<v Speaker 1>you feel when you let someone support you the same

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<v Speaker 1>way you support others. Now, as you start to settle

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<v Speaker 1>into your pace and your breath, remember to stay present

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<v Speaker 1>in this month, and when you start to think about

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<v Speaker 1>your daily to do list again, remember today's mantra, I

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<v Speaker 1>am stronger when I ask for help, keep moving and

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<v Speaker 1>give yourself time to recharge. I'm going to be there

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<v Speaker 1>in your ear, keeping you company. Alongside our guest and

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<v Speaker 1>fellow caregiver, Lakita Castin. I'm here with Lakita Castin. Lakita

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<v Speaker 1>is a family caregiver based in Detroit. Lakita first began

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<v Speaker 1>her caregiving journey when her aunt reached out looking for

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<v Speaker 1>help caring for Lakita's uncle. Shortly after, her aunt passed

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<v Speaker 1>away from cancer, but Lakda stayed in Baton Rouge and

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<v Speaker 1>cared for her uncle alone for five years as he

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<v Speaker 1>battled Alzheimer's disease. Today, Lakita is still caring for her

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<v Speaker 1>family members, but no longer alone. She supports her cousin

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<v Speaker 1>as they care for his mother together and build the

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<v Speaker 1>organization Caring for Caregivers, which provides support and respite to

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<v Speaker 1>family caregivers. Lakita, Welcome to care Walks.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you, thank you. I'm so happy to be here.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm happy to have you. So could you tell us

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<v Speaker 1>about how you first became a caregiver.

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<v Speaker 2>It was the most extraordinary thing. My aunt was ill.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't know how ill she was, and she called

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<v Speaker 2>me one day and said, you know what, I need

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<v Speaker 2>somebody here. Your uncle and I are getting a little

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<v Speaker 2>older and we need somebody staying in the house. Could

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<v Speaker 2>you come down and help us out? And so I

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<v Speaker 2>came down and two weeks later she passed away. She

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<v Speaker 2>had stage four lung cancer. She was an opera singer,

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<v Speaker 2>so she sounded so strong over the phone. No one

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<v Speaker 2>knew she was as ill as she was. And when

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<v Speaker 2>I got down there, I saw her how enaciated she was.

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<v Speaker 2>It it scared me a little bit. But if you

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<v Speaker 2>knew her life, you would know that he had lived

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<v Speaker 2>a wonderful life. It was just amazing to see the

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<v Speaker 2>love that she had for her husband. She told me

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<v Speaker 2>that he was suffering from short term memory loss, but

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<v Speaker 2>I found out that it was Alzheimer's and he was

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<v Speaker 2>doing pretty well, pretty good at first, but it became

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<v Speaker 2>worse and worse, of course, as years went by.

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<v Speaker 1>She sounded like an amazing woman, your aunt. Just the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that she reached out and you were able to

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<v Speaker 1>come and connect with her, and then you shifted your

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<v Speaker 1>focus to her husband, your uncle.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, my uncle was a very very intelligent man. He

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<v Speaker 2>was a dean of engineering at Southern university. So to

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<v Speaker 2>watch him decline that way was a bit unnerving, but

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<v Speaker 2>every day you have to get used to a new normal.

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<v Speaker 2>But I got to know him in a way that

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<v Speaker 2>I I don't think anyone else knew him, and that

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<v Speaker 2>was a consoling thought for me.

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<v Speaker 1>You mentioned that you were on your own as a

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<v Speaker 1>caregiver in Baton Rousion. Since then, have you been able

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<v Speaker 1>to talk to your friends and your family about your

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<v Speaker 1>feelings and your experience.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I have, And as a matter of fact, my

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<v Speaker 2>daughters would come and visit me when they could. We

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<v Speaker 2>all live in separate states, so they came and visited

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<v Speaker 2>when they could, and they would give me a break

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<v Speaker 2>or let me go for a weekend just to get

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<v Speaker 2>some rest, because that's what's needed. I started Caring for Caregivers,

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<v Speaker 2>a foundation where I want to supply respee care for

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<v Speaker 2>family caregivers and that's it. Maybe they need a massage

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<v Speaker 2>in homissage or hair done, just something to make them

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<v Speaker 2>feel like themselves. They're not always a caregiver every single

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<v Speaker 2>moment of every single day, because that's what you are

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<v Speaker 2>as a family caregiver.

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<v Speaker 1>Caring for caregivers sounds like an awesome resource, just an

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<v Speaker 1>opportunity just find community. Yes, that was something that I

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<v Speaker 1>wish I had. I found it was very difficult to

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<v Speaker 1>find resources for caregiver support. Yes, So how would you

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<v Speaker 1>suggest caregiver's best combat feelings of isolation?

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<v Speaker 2>The way I did it was going back to something

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<v Speaker 2>that I loved When I was younger, I majored in

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<v Speaker 2>performing arts, and of course I couldn't do that there

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<v Speaker 2>in Bad and Rouge. I couldn't really do a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of theatrical things. But I became a costume designer for

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<v Speaker 2>community theater there, so I did a lot of costume

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<v Speaker 2>design and then I ended up acting. And that was

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<v Speaker 2>the one thing that my uncle was standing still for.

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<v Speaker 2>Because my aunt was an opera sinker. He would love

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<v Speaker 2>to go to the theater and just sit and watch.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't matter whether it was rehearsals. And that was

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<v Speaker 2>one thing that was constant. And then isn't it wonderful

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<v Speaker 2>Your theater community is amazing. They're all family, so they

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<v Speaker 2>would sit there with them. He became everyone's uncle and

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<v Speaker 2>it was amazing how they treated him. The first role

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<v Speaker 2>that I played in was Dot by Coleman Domingo, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's about a woman who has Alzheimer's Wow, and it

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<v Speaker 2>was so prophetic. It was amazing. I was able to

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<v Speaker 2>like channel some things from him and totally understand where

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<v Speaker 2>that character came from. So I loved how everyone rallied

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<v Speaker 2>around my uncle, and I loved how I was able

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<v Speaker 2>to do that and he was able to see it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know whether he understood everything about it, but

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<v Speaker 2>he always had a kiss on the cheek from me

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<v Speaker 2>when I came on stage, and man, I'm cheering up

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<v Speaker 2>from that. Wow, that memory.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, that's so emotional. That's that's a great memory. Though.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a great memory. My question for you is when

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<v Speaker 1>when do you know you need to reach out to

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<v Speaker 1>others for help or support. What are the signs.

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<v Speaker 2>I think when you're angry, the frustration kicks in. I

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<v Speaker 2>think that's when you need to make sure that you

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<v Speaker 2>reach out, because God bless them. There were some days

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<v Speaker 2>that I was just like, would you please just do

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<v Speaker 2>as I ask? Let's get this done. That's why I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not gonna be that picky about things that need to

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<v Speaker 2>be exactly the way. You're gonna put on these socks,

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<v Speaker 2>you're gonna put on these pants, you know what you

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<v Speaker 2>want to wear, your underwear outside your jim shorts were

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<v Speaker 2>not going anywhere today. Fine, but yeah, that's when you

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<v Speaker 2>start getting so frustrated that you're frustrated at your loved

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<v Speaker 2>one and you're frustrated at yourself. That's when you need

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<v Speaker 2>to go out and you need to talk, and you

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<v Speaker 2>need to talk to someone quickly.

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<v Speaker 1>I first went to a caregiver support group when I

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<v Speaker 1>was about nineteen or twenty, and I felt so good

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<v Speaker 1>after talking to other caregivers and other families dealing with Parkinson's.

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<v Speaker 1>At the time, I felt so heard and seen. So

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<v Speaker 1>I always encourage caregivers to get together and talk.

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<v Speaker 2>Most definitely because didn't you feel a little bit. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know about you, but I felt a little awkward

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<v Speaker 2>even when I took my uncle out. Not awkward about

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<v Speaker 2>him and his condition. I felt awkward that other people

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<v Speaker 2>would look at him or maybe laugh or or I

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<v Speaker 2>just felt like I didn't want him to be judged,

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<v Speaker 2>and I didn't want me to be judged. I just

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<v Speaker 2>didn't like the idea of someone mocking him. So I

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<v Speaker 2>love to be able to be around people who understood

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<v Speaker 2>the situation and there was no judgment.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, I've really enjoyed this conversation and I'm so glad

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<v Speaker 1>to meet you and connect with you. Take care of yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you, you two.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks again to Lakita Casten for joining me today. Hearing

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<v Speaker 1>more about her story really reminded me how proud every

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<v Speaker 1>caregiver should be of them else, not only for the

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<v Speaker 1>time they dedicate to their loved one, but also for

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<v Speaker 1>finding joy in that process and being able to share

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<v Speaker 1>that joy with others. That's it for today's episode. Join

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<v Speaker 1>us next time with physical trainer and fitness educator Pete McCall. Together,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll explore the importance of mobility and strength training for

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<v Speaker 1>caregivers with joint pain due to arthritis. Until our next walk,

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<v Speaker 1>don't forget to find the support you need and take

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<v Speaker 1>care of yourself too. Care Walks is produced by iHeartRadio

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<v Speaker 1>in partnership with voltairean Arthritis Pain Gel and hosted by

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<v Speaker 1>me Holly Robinson, Pete. Our executive producer is Molly Sosha.

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<v Speaker 1>Our head engineer is Matt Stillough. This episode was written

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<v Speaker 1>and produced by Sierra Kaiser, with special thanks to our

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<v Speaker 1>partners at GSK Platform, GSK, Weber, Shandwick and Edelman