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Speaker 1: Should my boyfriend be there for my surgery. He's too

2
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Speaker 1: scared to talk.

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Speaker 2: To his mom about it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, scared of pants?

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Speaker 1: I male twenty one and my boyfriend, male twenty seven

6
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Speaker 1: have been together for two years and have known each

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Speaker 1: other for two and a half years. We've been in

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Speaker 1: a long distance relationship but managed to see each other

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Speaker 1: a few times a year.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from a Western simple thirteen

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Speaker 1: hundred on the r slash Okay storytime sepreadit. So I'm

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Speaker 1: facing a significant issue right now as I have an

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Speaker 1: important operation at the beginning of next month. For context,

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Speaker 1: I'm transgender female to male and we'll be having a

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Speaker 1: gender affirming surgery that I've been waiting for approximately six years.

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Speaker 2: During these years, I.

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Speaker 1: Came out to friends and family and went through several

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Speaker 1: years of therapy. Even though most of my outings went

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Speaker 1: quite well, I also had quite a bunch of outright

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Speaker 1: horrible and slightly traumatic experiences with other people that were

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Speaker 1: related to my gender identity, and was really thankful to

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Speaker 1: me my boyfriend who all supported me in that matter.

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Speaker 2: He is a really.

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Speaker 1: Lovely, funny and social butterfly kind of person. Even though

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Speaker 1: he had also had some rough things going on in

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Speaker 1: his past. When he was twenty years old, he met

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Speaker 1: his ex, and two years into the relationship, she got

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Speaker 1: an unplanned pregnant.

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Speaker 2: And decided to keep the baby, WHOA.

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Speaker 1: Shortly after they got married and now are divorced, with

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Speaker 1: him having full custody of their five year old child, WHOA,

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Speaker 1: who turns six shortly before my surgery. The ex has

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Speaker 1: visitation rights every few weeks that she usually doesn't show

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Speaker 1: up to and isn't really involved anymore since approximately two years.

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Speaker 2: The child and I have good relationship.

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Speaker 1: Although I would love to bond with them more, but

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Speaker 1: it's difficult due to the.

39
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Speaker 2: Distance and language barriers. Our issue that.

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Speaker 1: We have right now is that my boyfriend has trouble

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Speaker 1: talking to his mother, who helps him since the child

42
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Speaker 1: was born, babysitting when he is at work or going

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Speaker 1: on with friends because of him being a single parent

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Speaker 1: at this point.

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Speaker 2: The support is a big help and he is kind

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Speaker 2: of depending on her currently.

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Speaker 1: I told him six months ago the specifics about my

48
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Speaker 1: upcoming operation and expressed several times during these months about

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Speaker 1: how important this operation is for me, and then I

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Speaker 1: want him by my side on that special day. Despite

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Speaker 1: understanding the significance, He's been hesitant and initially said he

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Speaker 1: couldn't come because his mother needs to babysit his brother's

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Speaker 1: kids at the beginning of August. That happened because my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend didn't talk for now nearly six months about the

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Speaker 1: plans we were making about him coming here to be

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Speaker 1: by my side.

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Speaker 2: It didn't surprise me, to be really honest.

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Speaker 1: He usually talks about such organization stuff at the very

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Speaker 1: last minute with her.

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Speaker 2: What worked for him till now or when it didn't.

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Speaker 1: I accepted that he doesn't have time if his mother

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Speaker 1: said no to babysitting. His mother doesn't really like me

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Speaker 1: because she thinks I turned him gay. After her berating

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend for his ignoring his say as a parent

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Speaker 1: in things and overstepping boundaries that were set by him

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Speaker 1: regarding his kid and also his own life several times,

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Speaker 1: I honestly don't like her anymore and keep the contact

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Speaker 1: as minimal as possible.

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Speaker 3: Wow. That yeah, that's super hard, hard, like a complex.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because you can't really you don't really turn people gay, Like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, this is not really hot words. I

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Speaker 1: suggested several solutions, and after many emotional discussions.

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Speaker 2: We agreed that he could come with as child.

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Speaker 3: That seems like a good Oh wow, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Why can't you just come with the child? I didn't

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Speaker 2: even think of that, but that seems like such an

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Speaker 2: easy like.

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Speaker 1: He initially suggested arriving on the twenty ninth of this month,

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Speaker 1: but then hesitated. Now we're discussing the thirty first, but

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Speaker 1: he hasn't decided yet. The child's birthday celebrations complicates things further.

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Speaker 2: What I didn't know initially about.

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Speaker 1: Usually they celebrate on the day itself and on the

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Speaker 1: weekend afterwards in a bigger circle because the grandmother I

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Speaker 1: already mentioned and her husband also have their birthdays around

85
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Speaker 1: that time, and they mashed the three birthdays into one

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Speaker 1: big party for all three. Maybe I'm in the wrong

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Speaker 1: for that, but I didn't see an issue in that,

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Speaker 1: because the grandparents could come over on the birthday itself

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Speaker 1: and celebrate it in an even bigger.

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Speaker 2: Circle after they are back from my country.

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Speaker 1: I also had some delays in my own childhood regarding that,

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Speaker 1: and honestly I didn't really care much about it after

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Speaker 1: my parents told me. I also planned a small birthday

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Speaker 1: celebration here, including making a cake sewing a bag as

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Speaker 1: a gift, along with visiting fun places like a huge

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Speaker 1: indoor playground that every kid loves.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's cute.

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Speaker 2: That's so nice of you.

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Speaker 1: In my mind, this would be a win win situation

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Speaker 1: where his child could have even one more party and.

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Speaker 2: We could bond more before I can't walk anymore.

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Speaker 1: I would really want to show his kid around that

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Speaker 1: it has never been here before, and he would probably

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Speaker 1: love to see the city. I understand he has a

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Speaker 1: complicated relationship with his mother, but I feel like he's

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Speaker 1: risking our relationship by not addressing any kind of issue

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Speaker 1: with her. Ever, I just want him to talk to

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Speaker 1: her and me so everyone can start planning the birthday

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Speaker 1: parties and I can have some peace of mind if

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Speaker 1: he will be there on my.

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Speaker 2: Operation day or not. That's really funny, Oh, piece, Like,

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Speaker 2: can you guys.

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Speaker 1: Figure out your like family's trauma situation just like yeah,

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Speaker 1: because like I gotta write it down my schedule.

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Speaker 2: I kind of figure this out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd be convenient if we just do like one

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Speaker 1: big birthday, So please figure it out. This is my

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Speaker 1: first ever operation, and I'm really freaking out about it

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Speaker 1: right now. I don't care about anybody else being there

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Speaker 1: but him. I always have seen it as one of

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Speaker 1: the most important parts of a romantic relationship to be

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Speaker 1: there for each other and try everything to do so.

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Speaker 2: If something is.

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Speaker 1: Important for my partner, it is also important for me,

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Speaker 1: and I want to be there for them, even if

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Speaker 1: there are a thousand.

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Speaker 2: Kilometers separating us. Wow, how far are they?

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Speaker 3: That's five hundred miles is that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: I also planned on flying to his country for his kids'

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Speaker 1: first day of school, and already started planning presence and

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Speaker 1: organizing a few months ago. Even though it will be

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Speaker 1: in September. I would have to probably work Sundays for

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Speaker 1: three ish weeks to get the days off to spend

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Speaker 1: two of them nearly completely at the airport and spend

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Speaker 1: one with my boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: And his child. Wow, he's really putting in the work,

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Speaker 2: and in the work for sure, not.

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Speaker 1: To mention the huge financial burden that will be put

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Speaker 1: on me. I really wanted to do that, but now

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Speaker 1: I feel really dumb because he couldn't even talk to

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Speaker 1: his mom in advance this one time, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm usually the one that has to bend over

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Speaker 1: backwards to make things work. I am so done and

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Speaker 1: exhausted and honestly can't deal with.

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Speaker 2: The stress anymore.

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Speaker 1: But you know what, you never have to stress with

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Speaker 1: us because you can join us live every weekday at

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Speaker 1: three pm PSD.

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Speaker 2: Just tap our profile.

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Speaker 3: Ta oh man, that's there is more.

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Speaker 2: But what do we think so far?

153
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Speaker 3: Bro has a wet toast spine?

154
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Speaker 2: Yeah, what toast spine? That's pretty funny.

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Speaker 3: I think the cheating. Really, I think Opie's boyfriend is cheating. Interesting,

156
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Speaker 3: that's it's they're far away and I don't know. I

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Speaker 3: understand that the boyfriend and the mom don't see eye

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Speaker 3: to eye with everything, and he has a wet toat

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Speaker 3: spine with that, Yeah, but what about the other times

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Speaker 3: I need more contest than the other times I have

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Speaker 3: trust issues?

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Speaker 2: Here here's my theory.

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Speaker 1: I think that Opie's boyfriend like doesn't want to tell

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Speaker 1: his mom that op is transgender.

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Speaker 3: Got it.

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Speaker 1: I have a feeling it's something like that, and it's

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Speaker 1: just a little tricky to like talk about that with

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Speaker 1: the boyfriend's mom, you know what I mean, And so he's.

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Speaker 2: Kind of avoiding the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Can I help him somehow or should he just cancel

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Speaker 2: the meaning?

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Speaker 1: To take the pressure off of him, and I can

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Speaker 1: just try to get over him not being there. What

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Speaker 1: if he does it again, if there is an emergency,

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Speaker 1: that's a good point.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they can pull this so easily.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we're both quite anxious and could really use

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Speaker 1: some advice.

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Speaker 2: And that is the end of the story.

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Speaker 1: So I know we already talked about it a little bit,

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Speaker 1: But what final advice do we have for Opie?

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking, yolo, you live once, do what you want,

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Speaker 3: don't do what your mom wants you to do at

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Speaker 3: twenty seven.

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Speaker 2: Come yeah, come on, come on, yeah, twenty seven.

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Speaker 1: I think that's definitely a good point of like an

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Speaker 1: emergency could pop up and like you could I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is a really important surgery for op But if

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Speaker 1: it's like a really like you know, medical thing, look

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Speaker 1: where you have to do it or else you'll like

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Speaker 1: or something like that, And like what if OPI has

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Speaker 1: a birthday party he doesn't want to miss, or Opie's

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Speaker 1: boyfriend has a birthday party.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't want to miss, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I know it's not just a birthday party, but yeah.

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Speaker 2: But that is an important thing that you need your

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Speaker 2: partner to be available for.

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Speaker 3: So I'm not at the sea at the moment, and

200
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Speaker 3: I'm smelling fish.

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00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,400
Speaker 4: It's just fishy, fishy in here.

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Speaker 2: That's the end of that story. So we'll see you

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Speaker 2: next time.

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Speaker 3: I went to the perfect wedding with my boyfriend. Now

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Speaker 3: we're both freaking out and gave each other an ultimatum

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Speaker 3: to stay or split up.

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Speaker 2: Not an ultimatum, no.

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Speaker 3: My partner twenty seven mel and I twenty six female,

209
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Speaker 3: have been together for more than three years. He's not perfect,

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Speaker 3: but he is purely and genuinely good, curious about the world, honest,

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Speaker 3: very intelligent, and caring. I have no doubt that we

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Speaker 3: feel the love for each other. We went to a

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Speaker 3: friend's wedding together and honestly, the vows the couple said

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Speaker 3: were so intense and true and honest I am not speculating.

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Speaker 3: We both have known this couple and we both know

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Speaker 3: that their words are not wedding performance. They are way

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Speaker 3: too cynical to play something up for a wedding. That

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Speaker 3: is left me wondering whether I should say those things

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00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,480
Speaker 3: about my significant other or anyone. It made me think, Wow,

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Speaker 3: love like that exists, where two people can really say

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Speaker 3: they want one hundred forevers with the person standing in

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Speaker 3: front of them. By the way, this comes from intern

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Speaker 3: Boy one two three on the r slash Okay storytime

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Speaker 3: subpred it. So between the wedding and now, I balded

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Speaker 3: up these feelings because I was already feeling stressed out

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Speaker 3: about my work probation. Last night we met for dinner

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Speaker 3: and we agreed that we are wondering if this relationship

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Speaker 3: is something we both want, and that we both kind

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Speaker 3: of freaked out about the wedding. Vows think that episode

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Speaker 3: of Master of None with the Italian wedding. Between the

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Speaker 3: wedding and pre dinner convo, when I was thinking about

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Speaker 3: ending things, it felt like the right call because he

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Speaker 3: stopped being super communicative and it helped me peel away.

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Speaker 3: But since, of course it turned out it was him

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Speaker 3: thinking things over too, and we both are on the

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Speaker 3: same page about the things that we are lacking, intentionality,

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Speaker 3: more spicy sleep, among over the things. I feel like

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Speaker 3: it could be worth it to give it another shot,

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Speaker 3: given we've been through so much together and we hold

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Speaker 3: each other so dearly and care deeply for each other.

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Speaker 3: And this deep care, though, turned into sprightly attraction again,

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Speaker 3: and the giddiness of the first few months. I love him,

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Speaker 3: he loves me. We are unsure if we can confidently

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Speaker 3: say we can see each other in our forevers together

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Speaker 3: right now, but we love each other, and we struggle

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Speaker 3: to envision how I can function without his presence, given

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Speaker 3: that we have grown so attached and in mesh in

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Speaker 3: each other's lives. We don't live together, but he's my

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Speaker 3: person at the moment, if that makes sense. And we

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Speaker 3: live in a huge, fast paced city, think New York

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Speaker 3: or London. Just tell us where you're from where it's

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Speaker 3: hard to make connections friends or dates. I think they

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Speaker 3: live in LA. They may never live in LA. I

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Speaker 3: feel like we have a good thing going, but I

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Speaker 3: don't know if I will ever feel anything like saying forever?

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Speaker 3: Does this mean continuing is a waste of time? What

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Speaker 3: do we do? I feel scared of making the wrong choice,

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Speaker 3: especially because of my intense job, and feel like if

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Speaker 3: I'm not with him, who's my comfort person? And I

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Speaker 3: will just be an anxious mess alone. I feel like

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Speaker 3: we can fight for this, but it's like, are we

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Speaker 3: fighting for mediocracy or were fighting for something that can

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Speaker 3: be made into a forever or a second third thing.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, we haven't had it. What are your

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Speaker 3: thoughts on this?

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Speaker 1: Sounds like they are really good for each other, and

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Speaker 1: it sounds like they love each other so much and

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Speaker 1: they want to be together, but it's just so hard.

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Speaker 2: To understand what forever even looks like.

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Speaker 3: I think, Yeah, I have so many thoughts on this.

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Speaker 3: Number one comparison is a thief of joy. You love someone,

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Speaker 3: do it second thing day by day. Angie and I

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Speaker 3: talk about this a lot because sometimes we'll freak out.

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Speaker 3: We'll be like, oh, yes, what the future look like?

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Speaker 4: What are we gonna do? Oh?

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Speaker 3: My goodness, Like we both do that to one another similarities,

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Speaker 3: and we just decide to go day by day. And

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Speaker 3: there's a difference between passion and compassion. It sounds like

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Speaker 3: you have a lot of compassion for your partner. That's

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Speaker 3: a great thing. If you want more passion your relationship,

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Speaker 3: you gotta work on it. It's all about.

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Speaker 1: Work, yeah, And I mean, we haven't been together for

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Speaker 1: three years, but like I so, I can't understand having

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Speaker 1: a little bit more stress at that point because it's like, okay.

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Speaker 4: For years, three years, it's.

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Speaker 1: Kind of like the time to like we figure this out.

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Speaker 1: And see if we want to spend all that time together.

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Speaker 4: But I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's just it's just so hard and it's so different

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Speaker 1: for each relationship, you know, And I feel like the

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Speaker 1: most important things if you just like hanging out with

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Speaker 1: each other, and if you could see it happening long term.

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Speaker 4: I mean it's already been long.

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Speaker 1: Term for them, you know, so then it's like, if

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Speaker 1: you could see it happening.

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Speaker 2: Then then yeah, and then I think it would be good.

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Speaker 1: But I don't like someone else's perfect or image of perfect.

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Speaker 2: Like you know, whatever they say in their vows that

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Speaker 2: might not. You don't know what happens on the seas.

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Speaker 1: You never know, Yeah, you don't know, Like how social

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Speaker 1: media is, I was fake, you never know what's actually

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Speaker 1: going on.

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Speaker 3: I do have friends, I just have it developed very

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Speaker 3: deep friendships in the city living here for the past

305
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Speaker 3: two years to feel like I have the adequate support

306
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Speaker 3: community to help me through a potential breakup. This intense update,

307
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Speaker 3: we're going to take a step back from the relationship.

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Speaker 3: What I want to work on it and bring the

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00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,960
Speaker 3: spark back in. But he wants space to think about

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Speaker 3: whether he even wants to try with me at all,

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Speaker 3: so it wasn't just about the wedding vows for him.

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Speaker 3: I feel so heartbroken because he was bottling up a

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Speaker 3: lot of issues he felt were present but did not

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Speaker 3: tell me about it, or if he did, didn't stress

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Speaker 3: that they were make or break. I feel like these

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00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 3: issues were slash art, so so workable, but instead of

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Speaker 3: communicating with me about them and how important they were,

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Speaker 3: he's now pointing towards them as a sign that we

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Speaker 3: are incompatible as long term partners. I think this is

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Speaker 3: an avoidant attachment style thing. He says the relationship can

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Speaker 3: be saved, and that he loves me very much and

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Speaker 3: that he still is attracted to me, but he's unsure

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Speaker 3: whether he wants to work on the relationship at all,

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Speaker 3: given that we're so young. They're twenty six and twenty seven.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like with relationships that's it's not old

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Speaker 2: showing people lock it.

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Speaker 3: It's like a.

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Speaker 1: Solid solid age as couldn't people get more serious?

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Speaker 3: And he's got new things going on. He just started

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Speaker 3: a PDHD and he's meeting new people, which I suspect

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Speaker 3: is making him think there is no more room for

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Speaker 3: me or our relationship in his life. In the same

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00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,959
Speaker 3: way anymore, so she thinks that he's outgrowing them. Wow.

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Speaker 3: He voiced that we have jumped into serious partnership too

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00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:11,120
Speaker 3: quickly and that he wants to have a normal twenties relationship.

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00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,840
Speaker 3: In Air quotes the fact that he's thinking about our

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00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,040
Speaker 3: relationship of more than three years as just something so disposable,

338
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,520
Speaker 3: and that I need to be just okay with him.

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Speaker 3: Taking a step back from this kills me. In fact,

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00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,800
Speaker 3: it seems irrational to me, although love and relationships never are,

341
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,360
Speaker 3: since I know he wouldn't lie to me about loving

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00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:33,560
Speaker 3: me thinking it's salvageable, or being attracted. If there's love

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00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,280
Speaker 3: and hope and attraction, why not try. I think this

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00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,120
Speaker 3: guy needs to make a decision and not be like yeah,

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Speaker 3: like like oh, it's like here's a caricter Oh this

346
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,520
Speaker 3: could work, right? I think in my work I feel

347
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,480
Speaker 3: like an idiot because I could react to all of

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00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,000
Speaker 3: this in a okay if you're not one hundred percent

349
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,480
Speaker 3: sure you want me the nephew and I'm leaving you

350
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,320
Speaker 3: and I don't want you ten times more way. But

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Speaker 3: instead I'm approaching it in a okay. I'll take this

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00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 3: period with an open heart and be the best version

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Speaker 3: of your partner and hold out hope you choose me again.

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Speaker 3: By the way, you can choose us every weekday at

355
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,680
Speaker 3: three pm PST, just tap our profile. Is that an

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00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,480
Speaker 3: okay thought process to have? I'm gonna be okay, take

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Speaker 3: a step back. I think it's respectful.

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Speaker 1: I think that's like probably harder for op to do,

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00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,560
Speaker 1: but I think that's a really respectful, very mature and

360
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:20,360
Speaker 1: kind way to go about it. Yeah, yeah, it's that

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00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,360
Speaker 1: sounds very hard to do, for sure.

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Speaker 2: For sure, Like it definitely sounds a lot easier to

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00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:26,440
Speaker 2: just be like, oh, if.

364
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Speaker 1: You I'm out here, like you gotta love me like

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00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,680
Speaker 1: I'm the best person in the world, or.

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Speaker 2: You're out here, you know. But but you know, that's

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Speaker 2: not always the best choice to take.

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Speaker 3: No, think it's respectful. The second option is torturous, given

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Speaker 3: that it is me holding out choosing to maybe get

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Speaker 3: seriously heart if he ends things, and also make me

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00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,800
Speaker 3: feel anxious throughout the day as I am in constant

372
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Speaker 3: fear that he's got power to say I don't want this.

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Speaker 3: Actually I wish he'd say let's try again. Instead we

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Speaker 3: have it, and that's the end.

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Speaker 4: End.

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00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:01,120
Speaker 3: That's the end.

377
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Speaker 2: Man.

378
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,600
Speaker 3: Should we sit do you even like go out and

379
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,520
Speaker 3: find new people they're not like separated. Well, it sounds

380
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,600
Speaker 3: like he's taking a step back, just taking a step back.

381
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Speaker 1: But I think that kind of seems to me just

382
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 1: like not spending as much time together because he's focusing

383
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Speaker 1: on his PhD and stuff like that.

384
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Speaker 2: I don't know, man, that's really hard.

385
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 1: I think Op just needs to find some hobbies and

386
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,360
Speaker 1: find some things to pour into. Make some goals for

387
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 1: your career, you know that kind of stuff.

388
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,240
Speaker 3: Find fulfillment through that too, Yeah, exactly.

389
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Speaker 1: Find fulfillment through other things, and spend some time with

390
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,600
Speaker 1: yourself and know that you can hang out with yourself

391
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,120
Speaker 1: and you can be fulfilled to hanging out with yourself

392
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,920
Speaker 1: just in case worst happens, you know what I mean,

393
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Speaker 1: just in case.

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Speaker 3: So agreed.

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00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's hard though. Hope you're doing okay, OPI hope

396
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,880
Speaker 1: you guys are working it out. Yeah, or you're working

397
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 1: out myself without that, there we go, that works out too.

398
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,520
Speaker 1: You know, I broke up with my ex to chase

399
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,960
Speaker 1: my dreams, but I failed, so now I want to

400
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 1: get back together.

401
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 3: You know, we're home.

402
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Speaker 4: Man.

403
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,280
Speaker 1: This is my first post ever, and English is not

404
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 1: my first language, so apologies for any mistakes, no worries.

405
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 2: Opie.

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Speaker 1: My ex partner forty three male and I forty one female,

407
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,480
Speaker 1: met each other three years ago and have dated for

408
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,400
Speaker 1: almost two We have from the beginning been a long

409
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,879
Speaker 1: distance relationship. I met him on Tinder and in our

410
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 1: first date, the second phrase after nice to meet you was.

411
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,880
Speaker 2: I'm leaving this town soon.

412
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 1: The very next day, I was driving to the place

413
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Speaker 1: that ended up being my home for two and a

414
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 1: half years to have an interview for a job. We

415
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,800
Speaker 1: kept on dating and having a great time, knowing that

416
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,440
Speaker 1: I was moving two hours.

417
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 2: Away from where he lives. And by the way, this

418
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,200
Speaker 2: is directly from our subreddit, so it's.

419
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Speaker 1: One of our own, our family member, our family member,

420
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:45,320
Speaker 1: our kin.

421
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,080
Speaker 2: This is our kin in here.

422
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Louis five on the

423
00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,320
Speaker 1: ur slash okay stort time supreddit. So I never thought

424
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,040
Speaker 1: we had a future together. But when everything was ready

425
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,200
Speaker 1: for me to move, he told me, don't you think

426
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 1: that you'll get rid of me that easy? And less

427
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 1: than two months since our first date, he was helping

428
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 1: me move up to this tiny but beautiful town up north.

429
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 1: Things were great for almost two years. He is the

430
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,960
Speaker 1: best relationship I've ever had. Traveling for two hours every

431
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 1: now and then to see each other for maybe two

432
00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:17,720
Speaker 1: days was.

433
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,120
Speaker 2: Completely worth it.

434
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 1: I was enjoying my new job as I was also

435
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 1: building my chances to pursue a stargazer career in the

436
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 1: same company. I was living my dream life for the

437
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,600
Speaker 1: first time in years. The chances of getting closer to

438
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,120
Speaker 1: one of my childhood dreams was perfect. The first one

439
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 1: and a half years, I couldn't change teams due to

440
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,439
Speaker 1: the lack of staff in the restaurant where I was

441
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 1: the duty manager, but working in afternoon and night hours,

442
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 1: it gave me the chance of studying animation online and

443
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,320
Speaker 1: getting a degree in this country that I'm calling home now.

444
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,200
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty three was hardier, trying to keep up with work, studying.

445
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 2: And making time to see my partner.

446
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,239
Speaker 1: While I was trying to keep up with all of that,

447
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 1: my brain started to arrange plans for the future because.

448
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,480
Speaker 2: Doing all the things I was doing was not enough.

449
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 1: At midyear, I came up with the brilliant idea of

450
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 1: moving to the capital city in twenty twenty four to

451
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 1: chase opportunities as an animator or to develop my artistic skills.

452
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 2: I have a degree in fine arts from back home.

453
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,040
Speaker 2: This city is more than.

454
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:18,679
Speaker 1: Fifteen hours away driving, including a ferry, and here is

455
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,920
Speaker 1: where things start to go a bit staff. He has

456
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 1: two boys, years five and three at the time that

457
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 1: we met, and I adore them both. Even when I

458
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 1: decided to not have my own kids, I enjoyed being

459
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 1: around them. I love to be around kids. I have

460
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 1: six nibblings. Kids allow me to be the child that

461
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 1: I am still in my forties.

462
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 2: That's sweet.

463
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,600
Speaker 1: Him having kids means that he is not able to

464
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,240
Speaker 1: move around the country and be as care free as

465
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 1: I am. And that was something that I knew from

466
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 1: the beginning, as same as he knew he was dating

467
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 1: someone who has decided to chase dreams and opportunities as

468
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 1: they arise. I was very upfront from the start that

469
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 1: I wasn't moving to his city. There was nothing for

470
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 1: me them other than him. I am very sure. I

471
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 1: heard him a couple of times when friends of his

472
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 1: asked me when we were moving in together, and I

473
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 1: bluntly stated that I.

474
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 2: Was never moving to a city. Oh man, dang, I

475
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 2: gotta hear say that.

476
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 3: That is tough.

477
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 2: I gotta say that in a right way.

478
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 1: I know it sounds rough when I put it that way,

479
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,239
Speaker 1: but we had a very deep and rough talk about this.

480
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,880
Speaker 1: I spent my entire life giving up my dreams for others.

481
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 1: My last relationship before him left me after seven years.

482
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 1: When I decided to stay in this country for him,

483
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 1: I wanted to get back home and be around my

484
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 1: family and friends. I ended up working for myself for

485
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,879
Speaker 1: one and a half years, which is the roughest one

486
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: of my life, and I met him. In this time,

487
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 1: I learned to put myself first. I understood that partnership, friendship,

488
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 1: and family are important, but me and my dreams have

489
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: to come first. Because every time I put others' needs

490
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 1: before mine, I ended up hurting myself and worst of all,

491
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 1: blaming others for that.

492
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 4: When I was the one making that choice.

493
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 2: I learned to.

494
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,080
Speaker 1: Be honest with me and others. I understood that to

495
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: be able to have a happy and fulfilling relationship, you

496
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 1: need to be honest about what you can give and

497
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 1: also know that and understand what your partner is able

498
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 1: to give.

499
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 2: That's it sounds like they learned a lot of great.

500
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 1: Lessons, even know the process wasn't very good, but yeah,

501
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: he got there eventually. To make my already long story

502
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 1: a bit shorter, we both put all the cards on

503
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: the table about what we wanted for the future. I

504
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,239
Speaker 1: wanted to try my luck in the big city and

505
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,400
Speaker 1: work as an artist. Go you, and at the beginning

506
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: he told me he was happy to try an even

507
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: longer distance relationship, and I was hesitant but happy to

508
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,440
Speaker 1: give it a try. All changed in one weekend in September.

509
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,239
Speaker 1: I was so sick and finally decided to take some

510
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,639
Speaker 1: time off, something I was not able to do because

511
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 1: I was the only duty manager in the restaurant. I

512
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 1: told him that I was not going to work for

513
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,679
Speaker 1: five straight days and that I could go to his house.

514
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 1: He has the kids on that weekend, so he could

515
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: not visit me. He was happy to have me there,

516
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 1: even though he knew that I would probably be in

517
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,199
Speaker 1: bed all the time. After that weekend, I noticed a

518
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: shift in him. I am very vocal and.

519
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 4: He is more of the quiet.

520
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 2: And he is great with communicating, but sometimes I have

521
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 2: to press him to talk.

522
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 1: We were video calling and I have asked him a

523
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,159
Speaker 1: couple of times about his week and what he was

524
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 1: up to.

525
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 2: In more than an hour. In more than an hour.

526
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 1: Long talk, he kept repeating that he has nothing to

527
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: say until he finally dropped the bomb. He has realized

528
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 1: after that weekend that he wanted to live with me

529
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 1: full time.

530
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 3: Oh wow, with you.

531
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 4: That's cool.

532
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: Whoa, that's cool that As horrible as it sounds his words,

533
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 1: having me sick and being able to take care of

534
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 1: me has made him realize that seeing each other two

535
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,679
Speaker 1: days every other week was not enough for him. We

536
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 1: ended up having our first fight. WHOA, but this sounds

537
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: so sweet. Though it sounds like such nice.

538
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,199
Speaker 3: Things, she may feel like she's having to give up

539
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 3: more of herself.

540
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, after some more talking over time, we both have

541
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: to accept that our plans for life were not aligned.

542
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 2: Sometimes love is not enough.

543
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 1: And as sad as it was when we ended our relationship,

544
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: this happened bit more than a year ago. Twenty twenty

545
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 1: four has started and gone in the blink of an eye.

546
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: I went back home to my country to take a

547
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 1: good break and to see my family and friends. I've

548
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: been there for a year for a short time after

549
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,640
Speaker 1: missing them for more than four years, So this time

550
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: I took a couple of months to enjoy them. I

551
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 1: wanted to take my mom to Europe, probably the last

552
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: trip I will have with her, and use the break

553
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 1: to come back strong and plan my move to the

554
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 1: big city. My trip came and went. I arrived to

555
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: this country again and started to organize my moving.

556
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 2: What I thought would.

557
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: Take me weeks ended up being months of looking for

558
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: jobs and getting rejected. After three months of that dance,

559
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: I decided to move in anyways, I have landed a

560
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: casual job, and I was sure I could find something

561
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: else once I move. I've been living here for two months,

562
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: and a couple of weeks ago decided to go back

563
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: to the tiny town I used to live in. My

564
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: dreams of making it in the big city have rushed

565
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,159
Speaker 1: me so bad. Nothing went as planned, and I cannot

566
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: keep on waiting on answers from jobs because I'm out

567
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: of money. I am a complete mess emotionally and financially,

568
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: feeling like a failure with no one here to cry too.

569
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 3: Oh it was so tough.

570
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

571
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 1: Weeks after I moved in, my ex contacted to check

572
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 1: on me.

573
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 2: We have been texting in the last year to catch

574
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 2: up from time to time, always keeping boundaries in place.

575
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 1: I put him up to speed that things were not

576
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 1: going great here, but I was giving it a try.

577
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 1: Maybe a week after I told him that things got

578
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 1: more complicated here and then I was thinking of going

579
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 1: back to the town I was living in Before we

580
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 1: ended up doing a video call. It was the first

581
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 1: time in a year that we saw each other again. Wow,

582
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 1: that's such a long time. After that, we have been

583
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 1: talking every other day. He has been a great company

584
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 1: in this process. Two days ago he asked me if

585
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 1: we can talk about us again. My response was that

586
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 1: I needed to be in a better place to think

587
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 1: about us getting back together. On one hand, I do

588
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: not want to go back to running to him because

589
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 1: I am in a bad place. I am of the

590
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,959
Speaker 1: belief that if someone is in your life, they are

591
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 1: there to add happiness and not.

592
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 4: To make you happy.

593
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,719
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that just as a little extra. You

594
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 1: should be happy on your own before entering a relationship.

595
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 1: Otherwise you are making the other person responsible for you,

596
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 1: and that is very selfish. By the way, we can

597
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 1: always add happiness into your life if you just join

598
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 1: us live every weekday three pm PSD.

599
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 2: Just top our profile. Boom boom so easy so and

600
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 2: there's more to the story. But I let's discuss this

601
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 2: so far.

602
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 3: Some people can handle long distance relationships, some people can't. Yeah,

603
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 3: this sounds like a common way.

604
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,400
Speaker 1: That's just so so sad for OPI like having those

605
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 1: dreams crushed.

606
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 2: I am one with lots.

607
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 1: Of dreams myself, and that would just like be so

608
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: sad if just you were trying so hard to do

609
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: everything you could and just like nothing was working. Like

610
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 1: I know that there's such a mindset around it, like

611
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 1: you know, don't give up, it's just drown the corner.

612
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: But like that might be true, but doing it is

613
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: so hard. But in the other hand, I just want

614
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 1: to be selfish and run to him right now. I've

615
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 1: been crying in my room in the last few days,

616
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: trying to pack up my life and not feel like

617
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: a failure for tasting my dreams that has taken me

618
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 1: to a financial ruin.

619
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 2: I am trying to be an adult.

620
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 1: But I have called him again yesterday and we have

621
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: been texting like before when we were dating all day today.

622
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: So here is where I am writing this long story

623
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: to ask strangers what to do. I will be moving

624
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: back closer to him in a few days, and all

625
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 1: I want to do is run into his arms, and

626
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: all I want is for him to rescue me.

627
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 2: This is literally a MP.

628
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 3: It really is.

629
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 1: This is so cute, but I know I am not

630
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: able to give him the life that he wants. I

631
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 1: can't settle down in a place that it has nothing

632
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 1: to offer me. And I know that even though the

633
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 1: city hasn't worked this time, I will try again in

634
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: the future. I'm divided in half and I do not

635
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 1: want to be so selfish, but at the same time,

636
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 1: I still love him.

637
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 3: So much it's tough. I actually just run back to him,

638
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 3: see if you'll take you, and he checked up on you.

639
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 3: I think he still has a lot of feelings for you.

640
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:46,360
Speaker 2: That's the thing.

641
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 1: I think she knows that he will take her back

642
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 1: if she does run into him, but then that might

643
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 1: mean that she doesn't get to live out her dream.

644
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 3: I think you can still figure out your dreams.

645
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 2: I think you totally can.

646
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 3: I don't like being around people with small minds or

647
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 3: being like you can only do this, or your only

648
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 3: way to live life is this way.

649
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 2: The limits.

650
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, with the limits, there's tons of different ways you

651
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,719
Speaker 3: can live out your dream. Yeah, you can explore that.

652
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 3: I think you can explore that and also be with

653
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 3: a love of your life.

654
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 4: I left when I realized our marriage was over. It

655
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 4: took her ten days to notice.

656
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 5: You know, it's better late than ever.

657
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 4: I will notice my husband is missing in seven to

658
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 4: ten business.

659
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 5: Days T minus nine days.

660
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 4: I'm male thirty five was married to my wife, female

661
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 4: thirty five for eight years. I left her five years ago.

662
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 4: We are child free by choice, which was also her choice.

663
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 4: I had always said we had a good relationship and marriage,

664
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 4: but looking back, I see that it was good for her.

665
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 4: By the way. This comes from user humble driver thirty

666
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 4: six ninety six on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

667
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 4: So here is my story. I've always been the nerdy type, smart,

668
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 4: good grades, but never popular. I'm from a very well

669
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 4: off family due to my grandparents inheritance and some smart

670
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 4: and investments that my parents did. I didn't have to

671
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 4: go to college or work and still have a comfortable life,

672
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 4: but I love what I did. I met my wife

673
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 4: my first year in college. She was in my class

674
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 4: and was looking for a tutor. She was a scholarship kid.

675
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 4: We spent more and more time together, but never on

676
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 4: the weekend. I wasn't the outgoing type, and she would

677
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 4: still go out on the weekends. But after a long

678
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 4: while we did start going on dates, and after I graduated,

679
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:34,440
Speaker 4: we got married. Looking back, she started making decisions for

680
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 4: us as soon as we got together. My wife worked

681
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 4: the first half of our marriage, and when her company downsized,

682
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 4: she got laid off. She became a stay at home

683
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 4: wife who was not at home that much. She had friends,

684
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 4: she took trips with, had a litany of lunches and

685
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 4: dinners with her friends, basically spent my money on her

686
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 4: well off lifestyle. Well, I remember our love life being

687
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 4: passionate in the beginning, and let me just say that

688
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 4: is only a memory. When I was twenty nine, I

689
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 4: was involved in a car crash. They say a drunk

690
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 4: driver totaled my car, but I still have no memory

691
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 4: of that day. WHOA the twists and turns. This story's

692
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 4: taking already. I was in a coma for two weeks.

693
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 4: After waking up, I had to learn to do a

694
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 4: lot again. After four months, I went back to work.

695
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 4: When I came back home, my wife put me in

696
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 4: the spare room. She said it had been like that

697
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 4: a while because I was snoring. Your wife doesn't sound

698
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 4: like she cares you were in a coma, dude. I

699
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 4: kept my mouth shut, but I knew that this was new.

700
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 4: The accident somehow gave me clarity of mind. I could

701
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 4: see that the marriage has been over for a while,

702
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 4: but I still wanted to see if I could save it.

703
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 4: But everything I tried failed. What sealed the deal for

704
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 4: me was my thirtieth birthday. I came home and she

705
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 4: was not home. She was having a spad with her friends.

706
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 4: I ordered takeout, why a movie, and made a decision

707
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 4: I wanted out.

708
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 5: Okay.

709
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 4: The next morning, I went to my lawyer to start

710
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 4: drafting divorce papers. I stopped engaging with her unless absolutely necessary. Slowly,

711
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 4: I started selling anything that had any emotional value to me.

712
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 4: I left all her stuff for her. I bought a

713
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 4: new car and left it at a parking garage not

714
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 4: so far from our home. One month later, all I

715
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 4: had left were my clothes and a couple of laptops,

716
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 4: a projector and a portable screen, everything I needed to

717
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 4: work from the road. I didn't quit my job. I

718
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 4: arranged for it to be completely remote. Two months after

719
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 4: my birthday, I stayed while my wife was at just

720
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 4: another lunch with her girls. I took the new car,

721
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 4: packed everything I needed in it, and left the divorce

722
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 4: papers and a letter on my bed in the spare room,

723
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 4: and closed the door to my house for the last time.

724
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 4: Wondering how long it would take for her to notice.

725
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 4: I decided to drive cross country and visit every place

726
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 4: I wanted to go but couldn't because my wife didn't

727
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 4: want to. We had a prenup, so she had no

728
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 4: rights to ask for anything. In the letter, I explained,

729
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 4: I told her I was leaving and I would leave

730
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 4: her the house and the car and would pay a

731
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 4: sum every month because exactly a year after that she

732
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 4: was on her own. In my own stupidity, I forgot

733
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 4: to mention why I was leaving. But this would work

734
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 4: in my favor. I gotta say I'm not a huge

735
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 4: fan of the technique herop.

736
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 5: I don't like either of this from both ends. It

737
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 5: sounds like your wife.

738
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 4: Sunks, but it also sounds like you are really really

739
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 4: not good at confrontation, not gonna lie.

740
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 5: What's the word Dakota here? That's missing? What communication?

741
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 4: Imagine just having the hard talk with your wife instead

742
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 4: of doing this. But who knows, Maybe it works out.

743
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 4: In his favor. We don't know yet.

744
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 5: I mean, he's going cross country by himself, having the

745
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 5: time of his life. As looks like I would hope so,

746
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 5: but let's keep going.

747
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 4: Ten days after I left, I got a text from

748
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 4: my wife asking me where I was and if this

749
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 4: was a joke. She called me, but I didn't pick up.

750
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 4: I never pick up the phone while driving. I had

751
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 4: an automated text sent that said I'm driving and we'll

752
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 4: call back later. She sent me text after text after text.

753
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 4: That night. I stopped in a motel and decided to

754
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 4: read the text before calling her back. First, she was

755
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 4: asking if this was a joke, then asking when I

756
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 4: would come back, then begging me to come back, not

757
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 4: knowing why I left, And then she said something she

758
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 4: was sorry and it didn't mean anything, and she would

759
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 4: cut him off. She was having an affair, something I

760
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 4: never suspected.

761
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 5: I was like, who's him? I was like, she can't

762
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 5: cut off? Ope, Ophie cut her off.

763
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 4: Technically good news, because hey, as if you needed another reason, yeah,

764
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:45,959
Speaker 4: you already had.

765
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 5: You're like, oh, I don't need a like this was Wow,

766
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 5: that's a curve ball that came out of nowhere.

767
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 4: I called her cell phone and she was at her parents,

768
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 4: which I learned this tactic from TV. She started yelling

769
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 4: at me and I hung up. I waited one minute

770
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 4: and called back. She started yelling again, and I hung

771
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 4: up again. I waited two minutes and called back again.

772
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 4: This time she wasn't yelling, and I started talking. He's

773
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 4: got a secret technique. Pay attention, He's got a secret technique.

774
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 4: I told her that she was going to let me

775
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 4: talk first, and after I said what I needed to say,

776
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 4: then she could ask questions. I told her why I left.

777
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 4: We were married, but living like roommates, not even roommates,

778
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 4: because they at least acknowledge each other. I don't remember

779
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 4: the last time we even had a conversation, the last

780
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 4: time that we did something together. I didn't remember the

781
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 4: last time we had this spicy sleep, but I know

782
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 4: it was from before my accident, and I told her

783
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 4: that for a month before leaving, I stopped talking and

784
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 4: sold everything I had in the house, and she didn't

785
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 4: even notice that. It took her ten days after I

786
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 4: left before she even noticed I was gone. If she

787
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 4: had called me on the day I left, I would

788
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 4: have turned around immediately. I ended with thank you for

789
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 4: admitting to that I really didn't know about it. Oh,

790
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 4: he's like, well, good riddance, yes, perfect. She tried to apologize,

791
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 4: and when she asked me to come back, I asked

792
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 4: her why. If she could explain to me why I

793
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 4: would consider it, what was in it for me? What

794
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 4: was gonna change? She had no answer, so I said

795
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 4: goodbye and then told her my lawyer will know how

796
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 4: to contact her. I then blocked her. The next day,

797
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 4: I bought a new phone with a new number and

798
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,280
Speaker 4: left the old one in the motel. Two weeks later,

799
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 4: I got an email from my lawyer saying the divorce

800
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 4: papers were signed. I was free. I kept my word.

801
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 4: My lawyer already had all documents signed by me that

802
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 4: would transfer ownership of the house and the cars to her.

803
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 4: The bank automatically deposits a fixed amount to our shared

804
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 4: account every month for a year. Where we are now.

805
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 4: For the past five years, I've been driving across the country,

806
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 4: working remotely, and I finally had a reason to start

807
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 4: social media five year updates.

808
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 5: I want to know your adventures. I don't know about

809
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 5: your ex wife anymore. I want to know about you, man.

810
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 4: I posted online where I've been and where I'm going.

811
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 4: I stay in a place for a couple of weeks

812
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 4: and then I drive to the next My ex wife

813
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 4: started following me on Instagram a year after I left,

814
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 4: and out of curiosity, I looked at her public posts.

815
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 4: I'm not planning on following her back. She posted pics

816
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 4: with her boyfriend soon after I left. To her credit,

817
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 4: she didn't bad mouth me, at least not on Instagram.

818
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 4: Two months after I left, they apparently broke up. That

819
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 4: was the last time I really had an update on her.

820
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 4: I also have a spicy sleep life now. Once I

821
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 4: put myself out there, it turned out to be easier

822
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:42,320
Speaker 4: to have casual, spicy sleep, no committed relationship.

823
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 5: Look at this guy.

824
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,479
Speaker 4: Look at this guy living his best life. I'm driving

825
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 4: around the country, best dream, not married to a terrible

826
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 4: ex wife cheating on him.

827
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 5: Oh he's happy. You can tell he could just from

828
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 5: writing this. You can tell he's like smiling.

829
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 4: Now after years, I'm going back to my hometown. There's

830
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 4: a reunion I want to attend. I'm staying for a month,

831
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 4: maybe two, and then I'm going to Canada, and I

832
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 4: have no plans of looking up my ex. But I

833
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 4: will also not actively avoid her. If I see her,

834
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 4: I'll see her. If I don't, I don't And there's

835
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 4: a Q and a update right after that. Yeah, you

836
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 4: in the back. How many times do you think I've

837
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 4: done it in the last year, the last five years?

838
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,840
Speaker 4: The answer will shock you. I hope that there's probably

839
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 4: more to op it than that, but I do think

840
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:24,240
Speaker 4: it was really funny.

841
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 5: He's like and by the way, I have a spicy sleeplight.

842
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 5: Thanks for asking.

843
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,760
Speaker 4: So here's the update. A few things that were already

844
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 4: answered in the comments. So people have asked me and

845
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 4: even braided me for leaving her the house. The answer

846
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 4: is actually extremely simple. I wanted to leave. I made

847
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 4: up my mind that I was going to travel and

848
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 4: I didn't want anything trying me down. Selling the house

849
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 4: would have taken too long. Leaving it to her was

850
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 4: the fastest option. Additionally, my conscience wouldn't have allowed it.

851
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 4: She might not be a good person, but I try

852
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 4: to be one. Leaving her homeless would have weighed heavily

853
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 4: on me. Remember, there's a reason I married her, because

854
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 4: I did love her at one time. There are people

855
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 4: who think this is fake because I was traveling during

856
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 4: COVID the answer is not that simple, but it could

857
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:10,760
Speaker 4: be summed up in two words carefully and not so legally.

858
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 5: My guy is a rock star, right. Is he a

859
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 5: good communicating rockstar. No, but he's a rock star in

860
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 5: his own mindset.

861
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,160
Speaker 4: I don't know if I would do things exactly like

862
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,840
Speaker 4: op so key. I think after he went into a coma,

863
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 4: he might have just had like a huge personality switch up.

864
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,760
Speaker 4: I mean he said after the accident, like he became

865
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 4: so clear. He's like, you know what, she can have

866
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,280
Speaker 4: the cars, she can have the house. I'm just gonna

867
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 4: drive around.

868
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 5: Maybe it was just like, oh, I had I just

869
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 5: gotten a huge accident, got out of a coma, and

870
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 5: my wife doesn't eve want to talk to me. That's

871
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 5: the biggest slap in the face where he's like, oh,

872
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 5: that's what's missing about my work.

873
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 4: I've been working remotely for the past five years. Three

874
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 4: years ago I switched jobs to a new company in

875
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 4: position which is still remote. There was never a necessity

876
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 4: to come into an office. I've invested in a satellite

877
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 4: internet connection, yes, provided by the company. Now I have

878
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 4: high speed internet everywhere I go. I have KPIs, which

879
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 4: is key perform woman's indexes that I need to reach

880
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 4: every two weeks. I can set my own working hours

881
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 4: as long as I meet the KPIs about Canada. I'm

882
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,760
Speaker 4: not migrating to Canada, just visiting. I visit one place

883
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:13,359
Speaker 4: for a few weeks and then move to the next

884
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 4: and repeat. People have been asking for my social media

885
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 4: and I'm not going to share it. I came to

886
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 4: Reddit for the anonymity. I still have a lot of

887
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 4: people I know who don't need to hear the story.

888
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 4: My social media has been private for a couple of

889
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 4: years now. Only extended friends and family are my followers.

890
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 4: When my ex wife started following me, I didn't know

891
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 4: much about the privacy settings back then. I do now

892
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,360
Speaker 4: and I never bothered to remove her as a follower.

893
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 4: But you know who will never remove you as a

894
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 4: follower us When you.

895
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:47,800
Speaker 6: Join on live stream at three PMPST every weekday on YouTube,

896
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 6: on Facebook, on TikTok, on Twitch, all you gotta do

897
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 6: is tap our profile and we might even be live

898
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 6: right now.

899
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 4: But before you check on that, how do we feel

900
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,800
Speaker 4: about Rockstar Man? I mean, I know you think he's rockstar,

901
00:38:58,920 --> 00:38:59,359
Speaker 4: but like.

902
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 5: I think the way he handled it in his mindset

903
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 5: was probably the best way he could handle it. He's like,

904
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,760
Speaker 5: I don't she's not here, she's out gallivanting with who knows.

905
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 5: And he was just like, there's no point, like the

906
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 5: divorce papers are there, Keep the house, keep the cars.

907
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 5: I'm out. He should have done something and communicated a

908
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 5: lot better.

909
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 4: You should not do that. If your wife cheats on you,

910
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 4: you don't give her the house and the cars.

911
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:24,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, she doesn't deserve it, but.

912
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 4: You also don't necessarily. That doesn't mean that you're going

913
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 4: to make her homeless. Don't give her all of your property.

914
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 5: Man. I bet she just scoffed. She's like, Okay, I

915
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 5: get the house, I get the cars, and bye. By

916
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 5: a husband that I don't talk too that I already

917
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 5: cheat on, I think for him, seriously, this was just

918
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 5: like a clear my hands. Literally, he's like, gone with

919
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 5: the wind. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go, go be free.

920
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 4: It was very into the world, just straight up like,

921
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 4: no possessions, I'm just going to wander the earth.

922
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 6: Now.

923
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 4: I don't think I would be at peace knowing that

924
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 4: my adulterous ex wife had the house. About the divorce

925
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 4: being smooth, Listen when I say she signed the papers,

926
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 4: that didn't mean everything was set and done. I said

927
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 4: I'm free because I felt free. The divorce proceedings still

928
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 4: took some time, and when you have a good lawyer

929
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 4: and your traveling court, sessions can be done over zoom.

930
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 4: While it was relatively fast, it certainly wasn't two weeks.

931
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 4: So her signing the papers was the moment I felt free,

932
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 4: not the divorce being finalized. This is real, this is

933
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 4: how my life changed. But I can't force people to

934
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 4: believe it. So those of you who want to believe

935
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 4: it's fiction, I hope you enjoyed the read p has.

936
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 4: Some people made some Jack Reacher comparisons. I just found

937
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 4: out that there's a TV show and I only knew

938
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 4: the movies. Looks like I've got two seasons to catch

939
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 4: up on. We just shouted out Jack Reacher. Yeah but

940
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,320
Speaker 4: that is the end of that story.

941
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 5: Seems like an actual like book or.

942
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I feel like crap. He has several more

943
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:48,399
Speaker 4: stories to tell.

944
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 5: Oh, he has so many stories. I really want to

945
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 5: know these novel stories.

946
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 4: I learned about my wife's pregnancy through social media. I

947
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 4: should have been the first one to know.

948
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,720
Speaker 5: I guess you aren't in her fase five maybe six,

949
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:02,359
Speaker 5: I don't know.

950
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 4: I am twenty nine and she's twenty seven. We've been

951
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 4: together for four years, married for two both from the

952
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 4: same hometown but currently living in a different city. She's

953
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 4: at our hometown for a family event and I stayed

954
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,800
Speaker 4: back due to work. We've been trying to get pregnant

955
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 4: for three months and now it's happened. The problem is

956
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 4: the way I found out about it. By the way,

957
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 4: this comes from users sad hub Ta on the r

958
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 4: slash Okay storytime subburn. So my friend congratulated me by

959
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 4: posting a screenshot in our group chat, a screenshot of

960
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 4: an Instagram story posted by one of my wife's friends.

961
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,360
Speaker 4: The post was my wife crying and hugging some of

962
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 4: her friends, with the caption you are going to be

963
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 4: the best mom. So it wasn't even her, it was

964
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 4: her friends.

965
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, so you're mad she told.

966
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 4: Her friends before you. I called her right away and

967
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 4: she answered pretty quickly, saying, I have newsbabe. All I

968
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 4: said was I know, Oh, you're pregnant. She replied, wow, babe,

969
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 4: how did you know? I just said, I saw it

970
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,359
Speaker 4: on instant didn't think to call me first. Huh, she said, what,

971
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,959
Speaker 4: I didn't post anything. I responded, yeah, but your friends did.

972
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 4: That's one way to find out. I'm going to be

973
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 4: a dad. Thanks, and I hung up. Oh dude, I

974
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 4: was furious. She kept calling me and I didn't answer

975
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 4: until my sister called. Shortly after. My sister asked me

976
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 4: what was going on because she'd just arrived at my

977
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 4: in law's house and everyone was freaking out fighting and

978
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 4: my wife was locked up in her room. I told

979
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 4: her what happened, and she said there's no way she

980
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 4: would do that. I replied, well she did. My sister

981
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 4: said she was going to find out what was going

982
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 4: on a little later, my sister called me back and

983
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 4: explained everything. At that point, I'd calm down, thinking it

984
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 4: was just a crappy friend who decided to post without permission,

985
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 4: but my sister filled me in on the details. My

986
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,439
Speaker 4: wife was laid on her period and while hanging out

987
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 4: with a friend, they thought what if you're already pray,

988
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 4: so they bought a bunch of pregnancy tests, all of

989
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,760
Speaker 4: which came out positive. They freaked out, told her parents,

990
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,919
Speaker 4: and then texted some friends in town to come over.

991
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 4: From the time she found out to the time her

992
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 4: friend posted on Instagram, only two hours had passed. My

993
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 4: wife told at least ten people before telling me. For

994
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 4: the record, my sister told me that the argument going

995
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 4: on when she arrived was because the other friends were

996
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 4: upset with the one who posted on Instagram. Apparently they

997
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 4: all thought it was a crappy thing to do and

998
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 4: were mad at her, But they also couldn't understand why

999
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 4: my wife hadn't told me sooner. I finally called my

1000
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 4: wife and she was crying. She apologized and said she'd

1001
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:40,720
Speaker 4: been planning to surprise me. I was skeptical and pointed

1002
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 4: out that if she'd really wanted to surprise me, she

1003
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 4: wouldn't have been ready to tell me right when I called.

1004
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 4: She went silent and I told her I needed some

1005
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,439
Speaker 4: time to think. She yelled, saying I couldn't just walk

1006
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,280
Speaker 4: away and that we needed to talk about it. I replied,

1007
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 4: why do we need to talk so you can lie again?

1008
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,240
Speaker 4: And I hung up. Oh brother, evidence that she's even

1009
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 4: lying right now?

1010
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 5: Oh brother, why are you such a big baby? The

1011
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 5: fact that you haven't congratulated your wife that she's pregnant

1012
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 5: with your child, you are already attacking her. Not a

1013
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 5: good sign.

1014
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 3: Very very bad.

1015
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,359
Speaker 4: A ton of people have been messaging me, but I'm

1016
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 4: honestly exhausted. I don't know why, but this has drained me. Yeah. Well,

1017
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 4: I mean, it's not like your pregnant or anything. Right.

1018
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 4: I've cried randomly, which is unusual for me. I'm not

1019
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 4: a crier. This isn't supposed to be a huge deal,

1020
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 4: but it feels like I've been hit by a truck.

1021
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,839
Speaker 4: My sister sent me a message that really stuck. Hey,

1022
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 4: I know this sucks, and it was crappy of her,

1023
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,879
Speaker 4: but don't let this ruin it for you. You're going

1024
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 4: to be a dad. You're going to be an amazing dad.

1025
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 4: I really don't like the way that you've handled this

1026
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 4: in any way, shape or form.

1027
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 5: Emotions have been tempered and flared. I'm just saying like,

1028
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,320
Speaker 5: once Opie gets a cool head on, I'm sure he's

1029
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 5: really stick.

1030
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,399
Speaker 4: Hear it, everyone, Opie sounds like the guy who would

1031
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 4: never let this go. The only thing keeping me going

1032
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 4: right now is knowing that I'm going to be a dad.

1033
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 4: I've dreamed of this, and all I hope is that

1034
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 4: the baby is I'll probably swallow my pride and pretend

1035
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 4: I'm fine just to avoid making my wife too emotional

1036
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 4: during the pregnancy. But I'll do that tomorrow. Tonight, I'll

1037
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 4: just sulk. Yeah, I don't like this guy. And you

1038
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 4: know what, your sister shouldn't have been like, don't let

1039
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 4: this ruin it for you, like you're gonna be a dad.

1040
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:18,279
Speaker 4: Your sisters should have been like, wake up, idiot, your

1041
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 4: wife is pregnant and you're mad at her now right.

1042
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 5: Now, when she did nothing.

1043
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 4: He's acting like she posted like a private story that

1044
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 4: everyone but him could see.

1045
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, even all the friends were mad at that one

1046
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 5: friend who posted it is because guess what they were

1047
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 5: excited for her.

1048
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 4: You think the friends are mad at her, Oh wait

1049
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 4: until you see how mad they're gonna be at you, buddy. Edit.

1050
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 4: I posted this into the Reddit void, thinking nothing of it,

1051
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:45,920
Speaker 4: and woke up to thousands of comments and dozens of dms.

1052
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 4: Holy crap, thank you so much for caring. Just to

1053
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 4: clarify a couple of things. Do I think the baby

1054
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 4: might not be mine? Classic reddit loll No chance she cheated.

1055
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 4: She works from home and we have home security cameras

1056
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,959
Speaker 4: inside the house, so that's not happening in our house.

1057
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 4: She does not do girls' nights. Her best friend in

1058
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,399
Speaker 4: the city we live in is a female coworker of mine,

1059
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,760
Speaker 4: and we hang out the three of us very often.

1060
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 4: They text each other a lot, but almost never hang

1061
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,839
Speaker 4: out one on one. If they do, it's at our

1062
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 4: house with me in the next room. Also, my wife

1063
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 4: is the clingiest person alive. Like, when I'm at work,

1064
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 4: she texts me every thirty minutes, and when I'm at home,

1065
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 4: she's always at least in the same room I'm in.

1066
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 4: If she isn't cuddling up to me, Hey, buddy, that's

1067
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 4: not the clingiest person alive. It's just someone who likes you.

1068
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 4: You idiot. Oh pee, what is up with your point

1069
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 4: of view?

1070
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 5: Kind of gross right now? You're getting the ick from you.

1071
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 4: I'm disgusted. When we're out, she's always holding my arm

1072
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 4: in my hand and literally does not leave my side.

1073
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 4: I honestly actually love it most of the time. I

1074
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 4: feel loved, but it is too much sometimes, and we

1075
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 4: had to fight about it weeks ago.

1076
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 5: You had to fight about being in love too much,

1077
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 5: having too much love, bro, People would do anything for that.

1078
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 4: I even questioned if this fight was the reason she

1079
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 4: didn't tell me right away. Oh my god, but it's

1080
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 4: probably not it. You know who's really not it? You, buddy?

1081
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:04,399
Speaker 4: What are you doing on her friends? They are all

1082
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 4: very nice people. I've known them for a long time now.

1083
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 4: My sister is part of the friend group, and some

1084
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 4: of them have been friends since they were like twelve.

1085
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 4: My wife is the only one that lives in a

1086
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,359
Speaker 4: different city, so they always hang out a lot when

1087
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 4: she's in town. I cannot emphasize enough how out of

1088
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:24,839
Speaker 4: character this whole situation is for her. It's not her fault. God, Dan,

1089
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 4: she has many flaws like every other person, but being

1090
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,720
Speaker 4: inconsiderate is not one of them. You have the nerve

1091
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 4: to say that your wife is being inconsiderate when you

1092
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 4: literally didn't even congratulate her because you personally felt slighted

1093
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 4: and you were ignoring her on purpose when she's trying

1094
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 4: to talk to you. Dude, get this guy out of

1095
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,800
Speaker 4: my solar system. I don't even want to be in

1096
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 4: the same universe. That's why I woke up in the

1097
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,720
Speaker 4: middle of the night with a feeling like I'm actually

1098
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 4: completely wrong on this because she would not do this

1099
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 4: on purpose, There's no way. So I sent her a

1100
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 4: text just saying that everything is fine and that I'll

1101
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 4: drive the four hours down there to talk. She was

1102
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 4: actually away and asked if she could call. She did

1103
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 4: and said she wanted to come home. I said that

1104
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 4: I was going to go over there to pick her up.

1105
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 4: She asked, are we okay? I just said yes, and

1106
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 4: she started to cry. I told her that I'm very

1107
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 4: happy and I'm I can't wait to see her, but

1108
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 4: we will need to talk about it. She calmed down

1109
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:24,280
Speaker 4: a bit after that. That's when I opened the post

1110
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 4: again and saw all the comments, which I hope we're

1111
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,839
Speaker 4: ripping you to shreds. I asked for a day off

1112
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 4: and my boss was fine with it. So I'm actually

1113
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 4: going to my hometown right now and I will update

1114
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:39,080
Speaker 4: when it's all settled and we have an update. Let's

1115
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 4: go to it dive in Hello again. Things have settled

1116
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 4: down now and I feel like I have all the information,

1117
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:47,759
Speaker 4: so I'm here to give y'all an update. When I

1118
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 4: got to my in laws, my wife was sitting on

1119
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 4: the sidewalk waiting for me. She jumped on me and

1120
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 4: kept apologizing, just hugging me and saying how sorry she was.

1121
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 4: We went to her room and I told her I

1122
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 4: was really tired and wanted a nap Before our talk.

1123
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 4: We slept holding each other, which you probably think is

1124
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 4: cringe or something. When we woke up, our talk felt

1125
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,879
Speaker 4: like an endless circle, ME asking what happened and her

1126
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 4: saying that she was stupid and that it was her fault.

1127
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 4: She kept saying it didn't matter what happened because she

1128
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 4: screwed up a big moment in our lives. I kept asking,

1129
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 4: but she just repeated that she messed up and that

1130
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 4: nothing else mattered, which again she didn't and it was

1131
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:24,720
Speaker 4: her friend.

1132
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 5: You're making her feel bad for this.

1133
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 4: This is unbelievable.

1134
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 5: Understand that you're still making her feel bad. And now

1135
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 5: let's be surrounding around this idea of bad.

1136
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, the moment she said it's my fault, you should

1137
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 4: have gone no, no, no, it's not, it's your friend

1138
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,439
Speaker 4: who's her friends on Instagram. Eventually she said she didn't

1139
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 4: want to give me excuses and that the right thing

1140
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 4: for her to do was to take responsibility and apologize.

1141
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 4: I eventually gave in, told her she was forgiven, and

1142
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 4: said everything was fine. Still, I went to talk to

1143
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 4: her friend, the one who was with her all day

1144
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 4: and bought the pregnancy test with her. Her story was

1145
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 4: that right after my wife tested positive, they spent about

1146
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 4: an hour free looking out and talking about ways to

1147
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 4: tell me or surprise me. Eventually, my mother in law

1148
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 4: got home and they told her. Together, they decided to

1149
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 4: invite their girlfriends over to discuss ways to tell me.

1150
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 4: The friend went over all their ideas and I one

1151
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 4: hundred percent believe her. She also said it was discussed

1152
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 4: with the group that I didn't know yet and that

1153
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 4: they should all keep quiet for now because we hadn't

1154
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 4: decided when to announce it. She says the one girl

1155
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 4: who posted on Instagram absolutely did it on purpose. She

1156
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 4: had been told not to say anything to anyone, and

1157
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 4: at that point they were even discussing ways to tell

1158
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 4: me with her. The picture she posted was taken with

1159
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 4: another friend just arrived and heard the news. For some reason,

1160
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 4: she decided to post about it right then and there. Apparently,

1161
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 4: when they confronted her, she initially claimed she didn't know

1162
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 4: she wasn't allowed to post it. She stuck to that

1163
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 4: life for a while, but eventually she just told everyone

1164
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 4: she didn't give a crap and left. She blocked everyone

1165
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 4: in the group and we haven't heard from her since,

1166
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 4: So now you know who all of your misdirected angers

1167
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:04,720
Speaker 4: should have been directed. No zero excuse for a husband

1168
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 4: to ever a grown Maybe if you were an eighteen

1169
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 4: year old father, I would acknowledge that, But this is

1170
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 4: a grown man who's supposed to be able to regulate

1171
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:18,880
Speaker 4: his emotions, and he's getting mad at his own pregnant

1172
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 4: wife as soon.

1173
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 5: As day she finds out that he's been pining that.

1174
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 4: Day for her.

1175
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,399
Speaker 5: Again, this ultimately stems from the friend, but this does

1176
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 5: not make any excuse for him going seeing Red. He

1177
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,720
Speaker 5: should have been like seeing her and like I'm so happy,

1178
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,439
Speaker 5: and then revert all that red to the friend when

1179
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 5: she told him, he's like, no, no, no, no, I'm

1180
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 5: mad at you. Don't talk to me, You're a baby.

1181
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 4: Nobody knows why the friend did this. They don't know

1182
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:44,879
Speaker 4: if she's jealous of my wife or something else. At

1183
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 4: this point, we don't care. She's blocked on our end too,

1184
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 4: and we want no contact with her. My sister later

1185
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:54,800
Speaker 4: confirmed the friend's story. When she first called me with details,

1186
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 4: she was under the impression my wife had just told

1187
00:51:57,239 --> 00:52:01,080
Speaker 4: everyone and forgot to tell me. After talking to other

1188
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 4: friends and my mother in law. She told me basically

1189
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 4: the same story. I was also told by the friend.

1190
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 4: I spoke to my mother in law and another friend

1191
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 4: that when I called my wife, she basically said, screw it,

1192
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 4: I'm telling him right now, and was super excited to

1193
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 4: do it. Me and my wife talked again during our

1194
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 4: trip back home, now with me having most of the details,

1195
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 4: and she told her side basically identical to what my

1196
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 4: sister and the friend told me. She was again very apologetic,

1197
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 4: which is what you should be, buddy.

1198
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,840
Speaker 5: This guy doesn't know what love is. This guy's so confused.

1199
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 4: She kept saying I'm her number one priority and that

1200
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 4: this was one of the dumbest things she has ever done,

1201
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,799
Speaker 4: which I think the dumbest thing she could ever do

1202
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 4: would be continuing to It's maybe a little extreme, but

1203
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 4: this microcosm of an event is I feel like it's

1204
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:52,239
Speaker 4: got to be emblematic of this guy's overarching behavior. This

1205
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 4: can't be a one off type scenario.

1206
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 5: I hope it is. I really hope it is just

1207
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 5: like a one time thing because he's just flooded with

1208
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 5: so much emotions. But I can't defend that.

1209
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 4: I don't don't know that makes no sense to me.

1210
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 4: But you know what does make perfect sense? Y'all joining

1211
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 4: our live streams whenever we go live every weekday at

1212
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 4: three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. Just tap

1213
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 4: our profile and you're in. You might even want to

1214
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 4: go check right now, because we might be live as

1215
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 4: I speak. But we are about to finish up this story.

1216
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 4: I think we've kind of no, we've done it. We've

1217
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 4: addressed everything. We have a couple's counseling appointment next week

1218
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:33,359
Speaker 4: at her insistence. I honestly don't think it's necessary, but

1219
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 4: she believes I need a space to fully express my feelings.

1220
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:40,280
Speaker 4: She's worried I forgave her too fast, and I'm bottling

1221
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:41,879
Speaker 4: everything up. Oh, I can't wait.

1222
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 5: She's literally doing this for you.

1223
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 4: You know what, if I were you, I wouldn't want

1224
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 4: to go to couple's therapy either, because the therapy is

1225
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:51,280
Speaker 4: probably gonna get her to realize she deserves better than you. Honestly,

1226
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 4: her concern about my feelings is already enough for me

1227
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,919
Speaker 4: to forgive her and chalk it up as a one

1228
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 4: time thing. We also had our first appointment with an

1229
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 4: obstetrician first, because it's obviously the right thing to do,

1230
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 4: and also because many people warn me about the risks

1231
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 4: of losing the pregnancy early. My wife's last period was

1232
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,360
Speaker 4: about six weeks ago, and the doctor said it was

1233
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 4: a bit early for an appointment. Still, they ran a

1234
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,880
Speaker 4: bunch of tests and confirmed my wife is indeed pregnant.

1235
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 4: So far everything looks fine. Thank you all so much

1236
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 4: for caring about a random stranger. Yeah, that random stranger

1237
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,760
Speaker 4: would be your wife. I don't care about you, opeople

1238
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 4: I wanted to.

1239
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 5: See someone comment like from Reddit, like, dude, do you

1240
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,319
Speaker 5: don't understand that you are not reaching out and like

1241
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,640
Speaker 5: supporting your wife, that you're being a selfish prick.

1242
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 4: My wife has been controlling in our marriage. Now I

1243
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,320
Speaker 4: feel burned.

1244
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 5: Out, burning out, burning out for you baby.

1245
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,920
Speaker 4: Hi all, changing some details to provide anonymity, of course.

1246
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 4: I twenty seven male, and my wife twenty eight female,

1247
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:50,480
Speaker 4: have been married for six years now and together for

1248
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 4: nine years. We met at work when we were both

1249
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 4: teens and started dating. They were my first real girlfriends,

1250
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 4: so I had my first everything with them. To this day,

1251
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 4: she is still the only woman that I have ever

1252
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:05,479
Speaker 4: had the spicy sleep with and the only other kiss

1253
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 4: with the girl I had was when I was like twelve,

1254
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 4: and it almost doesn't count to me because it was

1255
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:11,759
Speaker 4: basically a kiss just to kiss someone. By the way,

1256
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 4: this comes from user throwaway Duh eight eight eighty three

1257
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:19,360
Speaker 4: on the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So early in

1258
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 4: the relationship, she had stated that she wasn't going to

1259
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 4: college and had no plans to, while I had plans

1260
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 4: to move multiple states away for college and decided to

1261
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 4: go to a more local college to be able to

1262
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 4: stay with her. We ended up getting a rental near

1263
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 4: the college together about a year into dating. After this

1264
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 4: point is where things honestly seem to get messy. Not

1265
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 4: going to the college you wanted to go to to

1266
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 4: move in with your high school girlfriend is definitely gonna

1267
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:47,080
Speaker 4: get messy. I'm just putting out.

1268
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 5: On to one of those things you just you live

1269
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 5: and learn with.

1270
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 4: One day, while I was at home, my girlfriend asked

1271
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 4: me to get her phone for her, and I noticed

1272
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 4: a tender notification on it. I confronted her about it,

1273
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,399
Speaker 4: and honestly wasn't even angry at the time, but more

1274
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,280
Speaker 4: disappoint She was talking to a guy on there about

1275
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,839
Speaker 4: music and other things that weren't bad on their own,

1276
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:07,799
Speaker 4: but it was still on Tinder. She said she heard

1277
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:09,799
Speaker 4: about the app from a friend and was told it

1278
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 4: was a place for her to find new friends. She

1279
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 4: was homeschooled and says that she didn't know what it

1280
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 4: was and then promptly deleted it. When I explained it's

1281
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:21,280
Speaker 4: a hookup app. I decided to forgive her and move on.

1282
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 4: One day, I was at home when my girlfriend went

1283
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 4: through my Snapchat and saw that I was texting an

1284
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:29,080
Speaker 4: old female friend from high school on it, and I

1285
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 4: had said that my girlfriend was being a bit of

1286
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 4: a bee to them. Understandably, my girlfriend was upset that

1287
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 4: I was speaking about her like that to another woman.

1288
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,480
Speaker 4: Looking back, that was honestly childish of me, but I

1289
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,919
Speaker 4: was also eighteen at the time and I definitely learned

1290
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 4: from it. My girlfriend decided that because I wanted to

1291
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:50,400
Speaker 4: continue to talk with my old friend, that I was

1292
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 4: cheating on her and decided to leave. I ended up

1293
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:55,799
Speaker 4: caving and told her I would cut them out of

1294
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:57,920
Speaker 4: my life, and after about a week or so, we

1295
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 4: had gotten back together officially. Now, my wife is a

1296
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 4: very traditional woman and is all about no spasis sleep

1297
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:08,239
Speaker 4: before marriage, Honestly, this wasn't a big deal to me,

1298
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:11,319
Speaker 4: as I was content with waiting for her, But as

1299
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 4: you would expect with two nineteen year olds living together,

1300
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 4: we ended up doing the deed before we were married.

1301
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 4: She had a complete breakdown afterwards, which made me feel terrible.

1302
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 4: A few weeks later, she said that we either needed

1303
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 4: to get married or break up because she didn't want

1304
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 4: me to keep being with her and getting all the

1305
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 4: benefits of being married without being married. I honestly wasn't

1306
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,920
Speaker 4: ready to get married, but I also wasn't ready to

1307
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 4: break up. At the time. I told myself that I

1308
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 4: could always get a divorce if things didn't end up. Well, No, God,

1309
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:46,080
Speaker 4: how old are you now, dude? What kind of environment

1310
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 4: brought these kids up? Man like homeschool and clearly casual divorce.

1311
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 4: You know what, We'll get married and if it doesn't

1312
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 4: work out, I'll divorce at nineteen and a half, dude,

1313
00:57:56,960 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 4: But right now, I really liked her and I wanted

1314
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 4: to continue that relationship. We got married roughly six months

1315
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 4: later after dating for three years. At first, things were great,

1316
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 4: and we moved away to a bigger city to start

1317
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 4: our careers. I ended up starting a sales job, and

1318
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 4: my branch had shut down about three months. In part

1319
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 4: of the closure was an opportunity to move back to

1320
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 4: a branch closer to our hometown where we could live

1321
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:24,000
Speaker 4: closer to her family. We ended up taking the offer

1322
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 4: and we moved in with her family until we could

1323
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 4: get our own place. Keep in mind, this was during

1324
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 4: the beginning of COVID and we lived in a small

1325
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 4: room in her parents' house with terrible hues, neet internet,

1326
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 4: and no cell signal. About six months of that situation,

1327
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:40,080
Speaker 4: I told her we had to move back to the

1328
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 4: bigger city and transfer to a branch there. She was

1329
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:47,080
Speaker 4: hesitant at first, but reluctantly agreed. One of my female friends, Sam,

1330
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 4: from this city, told me that this branch had an

1331
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 4: opening and would put in a good word for us

1332
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 4: to move back. We ended up transferring and moving back

1333
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 4: to the city. Now as we lived here the second

1334
00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 4: time is where the trouble came. My wife seemingly became

1335
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:04,160
Speaker 4: terrified that I was cheating on her. Every day was

1336
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 4: an accusation. Every text message was checked, my location was tracked.

1337
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:12,200
Speaker 4: Even my late nights at work were an affair, and

1338
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:14,480
Speaker 4: every time I just told her I wasn't cheating on

1339
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 4: her because I don't know how to prove it. Now.

1340
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 4: I know I did this to myself, but the constant

1341
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:22,520
Speaker 4: pressure of being scrutinized made me want to start hiding things.

1342
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,240
Speaker 4: I'm gonna give you a pro tip right now.

1343
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:24,800
Speaker 5: Break up.

1344
00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 4: If this is your relationship, break up, break up, especially

1345
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:34,080
Speaker 4: if you are nineteen. Well, I guess now technically divorce

1346
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 4: because you got married.

1347
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 5: I don't think they got married yet.

1348
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 4: They got married before they knew what the real world was.

1349
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:44,920
Speaker 4: That's never a good idea. For example, Sam moved to

1350
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 4: a new house and I bought them a housewarming gift.

1351
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 4: I used my credit card so my wife was able

1352
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 4: to see a charge for a purchase. She didn't recognize

1353
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:56,680
Speaker 4: and asked me what it was for. Not wanting to

1354
00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 4: deal with the scrutiny, I lied and told her to

1355
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 4: wait until Chris as it was coming up.

1356
01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 5: Dude, both of you are bad. Both of you are

1357
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 5: so bad at this.

1358
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 4: They're nineteen and they got married. She didn't believe me,

1359
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:10,439
Speaker 4: and I reluctantly told her what it was really for.

1360
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 4: This started another argument about how she wasn't able to

1361
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:16,240
Speaker 4: really trust me because I was lying to her. About

1362
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 4: buying presents for other women, which is true.

1363
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 5: Dude, you should have just told her. I don't know

1364
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 5: why you didn't tell her.

1365
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 4: She ended up saying that she was going to get

1366
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 4: a divorce, and I told her to give me another chance.

1367
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 4: I would increase my transparency.

1368
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:32,479
Speaker 5: You should have just little divorce you.

1369
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:37,480
Speaker 4: You should have gotten the divorces, okay. Continuing on, Sam

1370
01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 4: and I would frequently talk after work and just hang

1371
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,520
Speaker 4: out outside of the building as we left to go home.

1372
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 4: I did end up opening up to her about how

1373
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 4: jealous my wife had gotten about everything. I did tell

1374
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 4: my wife that I had these conversations after a while,

1375
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:55,120
Speaker 4: which caused her to dislike Sam even more. One day,

1376
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 4: Sam invited me, her boyfriend, our boss, a few coworkers

1377
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 4: and their spouse, and my wife to a bowling event.

1378
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:05,600
Speaker 4: During the event, I had tapped Sam's friend on the

1379
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 4: shoulder to let her know that it was her turn

1380
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 4: to bowl, and at another point in the night, my

1381
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 4: boss's wife had tapped my arm to get my attention

1382
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 4: in a similar way. After we finished bowling and got

1383
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:17,920
Speaker 4: in the car, she was noticeably upset and wouldn't talk

1384
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 4: to me When we got home. She said she wanted

1385
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 4: to be alone and asked me to get out of

1386
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 4: the car and go inside. After a bit of trying

1387
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,760
Speaker 4: to get her to open up, I relented and went inside.

1388
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:30,400
Speaker 4: She managed to sneak in and go to bed without

1389
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:32,560
Speaker 4: me noticing, and the next day she said she was

1390
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:35,040
Speaker 4: going to go spend a week with her parents after

1391
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:37,360
Speaker 4: she got off work. When I asked her why she

1392
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 4: was upset, she said it was because of the touching

1393
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 4: and said it was too personal. Once again, what will

1394
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 4: we do? One two three breakup divorce divorce to a divorce,

1395
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 4: The big adult breakup divorce. I told her that she

1396
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:53,960
Speaker 4: was being ridiculous, but she wanted to stay with her

1397
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:57,160
Speaker 4: parents regardless. I convinced her to stay and talk to

1398
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 4: me for about thirty minutes after she got off work.

1399
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 4: I bought her her a handful of snacks and energy

1400
01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 4: drinks for the ride and basically told her that the

1401
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,280
Speaker 4: touches weren't anything other than a way to literally get

1402
01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 4: someone's attention in a crowded room. She ended up leaving

1403
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:12,800
Speaker 4: that night and decided to stay with her parents for

1404
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:15,120
Speaker 4: a bit. That night, on her way to her parents,

1405
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:18,640
Speaker 4: how she hit a dog and texted me to tell

1406
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:22,320
Speaker 4: me that she decided she wanted to stay together because

1407
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 4: in that moment, she was aware of how it felt

1408
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 4: to be alone and that she loved me.

1409
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:27,640
Speaker 5: I think she's a psychopath.

1410
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 4: What did ies?

1411
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 5: I think she's a psychopath. She hit a dog and

1412
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:33,360
Speaker 5: then she's like, I think I want to stay with

1413
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:35,160
Speaker 5: him because it makes me want to like that makes

1414
01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 5: me feel alone. I think she's a psychopath.

1415
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:42,280
Speaker 4: I have read lines of actual psychopaths doing psychopath stuff,

1416
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 4: and that is one of the most psychotic things I've

1417
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 4: ever read.

1418
01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 5: That's very psychotic. I am scared for you now.

1419
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 4: I told her I wanted to still spend the whole

1420
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 4: week alone now, and I went to stay with a

1421
01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:56,520
Speaker 4: friend for the week. Okay, it could it possibly be

1422
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:58,680
Speaker 4: the end? Please let this end.

1423
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:00,760
Speaker 5: We are betting on it. It was to not go

1424
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 5: the way right way. Thank goodness.

1425
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 4: You do not need to be with this girl. What

1426
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 4: she didn't tell me is that when she hit the

1427
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,520
Speaker 4: aforementioned animal, it did so much damage to her car

1428
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 4: that she couldn't drive it and had to get it

1429
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 4: repaired and get a rental.

1430
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:15,480
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

1431
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,920
Speaker 4: When I came home after the week, she said that

1432
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 4: I had abandoned her during a vulnerable moment and wasn't

1433
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 4: there for her when she needed me. I told her

1434
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 4: that if we were going to try and make this work,

1435
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:29,080
Speaker 4: we were going to marriage counseling. She declined, and I

1436
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:32,520
Speaker 4: told her we were done. Then we both just lost

1437
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:33,680
Speaker 4: a lot of money.

1438
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:35,440
Speaker 5: It's okay, the house always wins.

1439
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:38,960
Speaker 4: We're down eleven hundred bucks, but I'm so happy about it.

1440
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,400
Speaker 4: She changed her mind and agreed to go dang it.

1441
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 4: During the counseling sessions, it seemed like it wasn't really helping.

1442
01:03:44,640 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 4: To be honest, we both told our sides of what

1443
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 4: was happening, and they basically said we needed to figure

1444
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:52,320
Speaker 4: out if we wanted to be together. My wife went

1445
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 4: down a self help rabbit hole and bought dozens of books.

1446
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 4: Around this time, I had gotten a promotion to run

1447
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 4: my own branch, and Sam had moved to away to

1448
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:03,000
Speaker 4: manage her own branch as well. I ended up cutting

1449
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,000
Speaker 4: Sam out of my life due to it causing my

1450
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 4: wife to get jealous. Keep in mind, my wife is

1451
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:10,560
Speaker 4: able to have male friends because she quote hates women

1452
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 4: and otherwise wouldn't have friends.

1453
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:16,000
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, there's so many red flags here. I know,

1454
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 5: you guys are young. But oh my gosh, this is

1455
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 5: not young love. This is young torture. You said it best.

1456
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 5: This is so bad.

1457
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:24,240
Speaker 4: One time, my wife invited me out to a work

1458
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:28,880
Speaker 4: dinner with her and her almost exclusively male coworkers, one

1459
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:32,560
Speaker 4: female coworker, and I had to decline because I had COVID,

1460
01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 4: which she knew, and she had been driven home due

1461
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 4: to being too drunk to drive. I felt bad, but

1462
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:41,480
Speaker 4: I essentially just completely started ghosting her and only responding

1463
01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 4: to work related messages in the shortest format possible. She

1464
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 4: eventually took the hint and stopped messaging me until one day.

1465
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,680
Speaker 4: Sam had to transfer back to my branch for family reasons.

1466
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,439
Speaker 4: She had taken a demotion to make it work. I

1467
01:04:54,480 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 4: adamantly tried to find another way for her to be

1468
01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 4: put in a nearby branch to avoid her being at mine.

1469
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:02,800
Speaker 4: It was out of my hands due to upper leadership.

1470
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,760
Speaker 4: Now around this time, the upper leadership took a look

1471
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:08,959
Speaker 4: at the branch and realized that Sam was performing better

1472
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:11,200
Speaker 4: than mine and decided that I should be the one

1473
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:14,200
Speaker 4: to step down and Sam should have my spot. I

1474
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:17,360
Speaker 4: ended up transferring to another department entirely to avoid working

1475
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:19,880
Speaker 4: with Sam and to get away from my former employees

1476
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,520
Speaker 4: out of shame from being demoted. I honestly think I

1477
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:26,120
Speaker 4: managed to convince myself to hate Sam. I convinced myself

1478
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 4: that she was the reason I was demoted. I convinced

1479
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 4: myself that she and my boss worked it out together

1480
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:33,320
Speaker 4: due to them being on really good terms. My wife

1481
01:05:33,440 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 4: joined in on the hate train and kept essentially egging

1482
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 4: it on, convincing me to hate her more and more.

1483
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:40,200
Speaker 5: I'm seeing red all over.

1484
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:41,600
Speaker 4: This is gonna be a great ending THO.

1485
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:45,200
Speaker 5: When he leaves, I don't care anymore. I've lost all

1486
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:46,440
Speaker 5: my empathy and sympathy for this.

1487
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 4: Guys, don't get married when you're eighteen and a half.

1488
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:49,480
Speaker 4: Don't do that.

1489
01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 5: No, you can, just don't get married to psychotic people.

1490
01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 5: I'm gonna tell you right now. Both people in this story,

1491
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:57,440
Speaker 5: they're both psychotic in their own very little good way.

1492
01:05:57,560 --> 01:05:59,320
Speaker 4: If the marriage was going to work at eighteen, the

1493
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:01,720
Speaker 4: marriage wi work twenty five. That's all I'm saying. I

1494
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 4: mostly ended up isolating myself from doing anything social out

1495
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 4: of fear of making her mad. But I talked with

1496
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 4: my male friends on discord and played games with them

1497
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:11,720
Speaker 4: once or twice a year. I would manage to go

1498
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 4: with them to do things, but my wife would insist

1499
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:17,760
Speaker 4: on coming or being invited. Unfortunately, my wife doesn't like

1500
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:20,439
Speaker 4: my friends and makes it very awkward when she's there

1501
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:24,040
Speaker 4: because you can feel the tension and awkwardness. I've discussed

1502
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 4: some of these things with them in the past. I

1503
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 4: eventually just stopped going out entirely unless it was with her,

1504
01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:32,479
Speaker 4: and I really just didn't want to deal with any

1505
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 4: more accusations or drama. A year and a half went

1506
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:39,000
Speaker 4: by and everything seemed good with my wife, and we

1507
01:06:39,160 --> 01:06:41,600
Speaker 4: ended up having her sister and her husband to move

1508
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:44,280
Speaker 4: in with us because we were planning on moving closer

1509
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 4: to her parents and I was going to transfer back

1510
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:50,000
Speaker 4: to the branch near her parents. At first, this was fine,

1511
01:06:50,080 --> 01:06:52,600
Speaker 4: and then she started to get so angry with them.

1512
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:56,040
Speaker 4: She would every day and every night just rant about

1513
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:58,400
Speaker 4: things like how they didn't do the dishes enough or

1514
01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:00,880
Speaker 4: didn't take out the trash enough. When we finally got

1515
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 4: to transfer about six months later, we moved in with

1516
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:06,360
Speaker 4: her brother and his wife for about eight months. She

1517
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:08,840
Speaker 4: was about the same in terms of attitude towards them.

1518
01:07:09,080 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 4: She would get angry and complain to me all the

1519
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,280
Speaker 4: time about how they wouldn't pull their weight or do chores.

1520
01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:17,480
Speaker 4: By this point, we had our first baby on the way,

1521
01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:18,440
Speaker 4: so I.

1522
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:21,160
Speaker 2: Let her quit her jump to prepare to be his

1523
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:21,959
Speaker 2: stay at home.

1524
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:25,280
Speaker 5: This is gonna be a terrible environment for that child.

1525
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:28,040
Speaker 5: I am scared for that child. I'm sorry, I'm scared

1526
01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:28,600
Speaker 5: for that child.

1527
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 4: Oh oh, p I hope you see the light by

1528
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 4: the end of this. And now I have to think

1529
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:35,360
Speaker 4: of the children. Around two months ago, I had a

1530
01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:37,640
Speaker 4: dream about Sam and me just hanging out outside the

1531
01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:39,600
Speaker 4: store like we used to, and I woke up in

1532
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:43,680
Speaker 4: absolute tears. I hid them from my wife, but I

1533
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:46,640
Speaker 4: spent the next three hours just bawling and feeling so

1534
01:07:46,880 --> 01:07:50,840
Speaker 4: bad because what I did to her isn't me. For context,

1535
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 4: I drive about an hour and a half to work

1536
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:54,960
Speaker 4: and back every day, so I cried from when I

1537
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,200
Speaker 4: woke up to when I got in the shower, left

1538
01:07:57,200 --> 01:08:01,120
Speaker 4: for work, and the entire drive. Nearly around here, I've

1539
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:03,760
Speaker 4: started to have serious doubts about where I'm heading in

1540
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:07,120
Speaker 4: my life. Now, well, yeah, i'd say, balling your eyes

1541
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:09,520
Speaker 4: out from the moment you wake up to the moment

1542
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,440
Speaker 4: you arrive at your job after I have an hour

1543
01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 4: and a half commute.

1544
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:16,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, this guy, it's hitting him hard. It's hitting

1545
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:16,800
Speaker 5: him real hard.

1546
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:19,840
Speaker 4: Do I really want to do this forever? Is this

1547
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,640
Speaker 4: my life? Now? I can't even go out and be

1548
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 4: with my friends or by myself something nice without dangier

1549
01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:28,559
Speaker 4: having a panic attack at this point, But now I

1550
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:32,480
Speaker 4: feel obligated to stay as this baby boy is amazing.

1551
01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:36,120
Speaker 4: He's truly the best thing, and it still feels surreal

1552
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:38,599
Speaker 4: even though he's been with us for six months now.

1553
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:41,519
Speaker 4: I also have fears that maybe this really is just

1554
01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:45,200
Speaker 4: how our relationship is. It isn't. For God's sake, it isn't,

1555
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:48,040
Speaker 4: and I won't have anything better. She tells me that

1556
01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:50,200
Speaker 4: we have both made mistakes in the past and any

1557
01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:52,880
Speaker 4: healthy marriage has to work through them. I opened up

1558
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:55,800
Speaker 4: to her about my anxiety and fears, and she says

1559
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:58,880
Speaker 4: she doesn't even know why I feel that way, since

1560
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:01,679
Speaker 4: she hasn't been crazy see in almost two years now,

1561
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:05,080
Speaker 4: which were her words, not mine. She says to just

1562
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 4: go out and try to do things and she will

1563
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:09,960
Speaker 4: trust me now. But I really can't. There's a block

1564
01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:12,600
Speaker 4: that just prevents me and gets me so tense that

1565
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:14,639
Speaker 4: I don't want to do anything outside of the home.

1566
01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:17,240
Speaker 4: I honestly feel so cooped up that I enjoy my

1567
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:20,280
Speaker 4: days at work more than my days off. My wife

1568
01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:22,120
Speaker 4: went to stay with her sister for a week, and

1569
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:24,640
Speaker 4: the entire time, the only time I felt sad was

1570
01:09:24,680 --> 01:09:27,600
Speaker 4: when I saw any of my son's things. It was

1571
01:09:27,640 --> 01:09:30,439
Speaker 4: honestly crushing to see his playmat or toys. I know

1572
01:09:30,520 --> 01:09:33,000
Speaker 4: I should just be happy that she has seemingly changed,

1573
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:35,200
Speaker 4: but I don't know why I can't seem to accept

1574
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,680
Speaker 4: it and feel like I won't be able to move on.

1575
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:40,040
Speaker 4: But I also don't want to leave my son in

1576
01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:43,880
Speaker 4: a broken family. But you know who will never leave

1577
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:46,680
Speaker 4: you us? And when we go live every weekday at

1578
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:50,439
Speaker 4: three pmpst on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch, all you

1579
01:09:50,520 --> 01:09:53,360
Speaker 4: gotta do is tap our profile and you're in the live.

1580
01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:56,440
Speaker 5: Heck, we might even be alive right now, probably.

1581
01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:59,280
Speaker 4: But before you check on that, let's finish this story.

1582
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 5: Young love sometimes is crushing and it's very naive and

1583
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:05,760
Speaker 5: it's stressful, and you learn from it. I don't think

1584
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:07,680
Speaker 5: Opie ever got to learn from this. It was just

1585
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:11,360
Speaker 5: like a consistent oh gets back sucking do it like

1586
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:12,200
Speaker 5: like a black hole.

1587
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:17,120
Speaker 4: I feel like Opie and his wife probably both come

1588
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:21,240
Speaker 4: from an environment where marriage is emphasized very heavily, like

1589
01:10:21,439 --> 01:10:21,880
Speaker 4: from the.

1590
01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:24,800
Speaker 5: I at least think it's from his wife because his wife,

1591
01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:28,200
Speaker 5: again was homeschooled and that was her upbringing. She did

1592
01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:29,960
Speaker 5: kind of force his hand, like, if you're gonna be

1593
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:31,600
Speaker 5: with me, you gotta get it married right now, and

1594
01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:33,439
Speaker 5: he was just like, I guess, I mean he.

1595
01:10:33,439 --> 01:10:35,400
Speaker 4: Was the same way. He's like, I had no problem waiting,

1596
01:10:35,479 --> 01:10:37,280
Speaker 4: and then they just like low, KI didn't because you

1597
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:38,760
Speaker 4: were nineteen.

1598
01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:41,599
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was very young and naive and young love.

1599
01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:44,680
Speaker 5: But again this is like his first love and they

1600
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:46,000
Speaker 5: were just like, well, let's rush into it. It was

1601
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:46,760
Speaker 5: just like rush rush.

1602
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,000
Speaker 4: So there's just so many red flags that they might

1603
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:50,960
Speaker 4: not even have been able to see. I've tried to

1604
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 4: go to a therapist, but they essentially told me that

1605
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:55,880
Speaker 4: I should just make a pro and con list and

1606
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 4: see if I should stay with her, and didn't tell

1607
01:10:58,120 --> 01:11:01,840
Speaker 4: me any other advice other than that. Seems tough, dude.

1608
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:03,360
Speaker 5: I wish you could get out of this so bad.

1609
01:11:03,520 --> 01:11:05,960
Speaker 4: Oh P did you write the pros and conflict? Though

1610
01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:07,080
Speaker 4: I don't think you did.

1611
01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:08,719
Speaker 5: Did you read what you wrote.

1612
01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:11,920
Speaker 4: Recently, my wife admitted to me that she thinks she

1613
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:15,920
Speaker 4: gave me PTSD and was sorry. She also admitted that

1614
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:18,280
Speaker 4: the only reason she threatened divorce in the past was

1615
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:20,720
Speaker 4: because she wanted me to open up to her, but

1616
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:24,000
Speaker 4: that she doesn't believe in divorce and wouldn't sign any papers.

1617
01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:28,560
Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's absolutely waste levels of toxic. I

1618
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:30,840
Speaker 4: don't really know where to end this post, so I'm

1619
01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:32,960
Speaker 4: just gonna go ahead and end it here. You should

1620
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:35,679
Speaker 4: have ended this post when you moved in with your

1621
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:39,240
Speaker 4: girlfriend in the first year of college, which by the way,

1622
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:42,000
Speaker 4: isn't the college you wanted to go to, and then

1623
01:11:42,160 --> 01:11:44,800
Speaker 4: things started getting weird. You should have ended it there.