Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. When a new story falls
Speaker 1: through the cracks, Lewis Black catches it for a segment
Speaker 1: we call back in Black. It's just a couple of
Speaker 1: more weeks until Christmas, when Christians celebrate the birth of Santa. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: US Jews are celebrating a real miracle, some lamp oil
Speaker 1: that lasted longer than we thought. Because if there's one
Speaker 1: thing we Jews love, it's a bargain. But for some reason,
Speaker 1: Christians are now trying to include us in their holiday season,
Speaker 1: and it's not making any sense. Palmark Christmas movies have
Speaker 1: been a staple for the channel for years. Now they're
Speaker 1: debuting to Hallmark Hanaka movies. As The Washington Post reports,
Speaker 1: there's just one problem. Neither movie is a Hanukkah movie.
Speaker 1: There Christmas movies with Jewish characters. In Holiday Date, a
Speaker 1: woman hires a Jewish actor to pose as her boyfriend
Speaker 1: and join her at her family's house for Christmas, but
Speaker 1: the family girls suspicious about whether he knows how to celebrate.
Speaker 1: You're not sure if Jews know how to celebrate Christmas.
Speaker 1: You mean that holiday that gets jammed down our throat
Speaker 1: every year. The second Halloween ends. I can't even buy
Speaker 1: a cup of coffee that doesn't look like it fell
Speaker 1: out of sand his ass. Trust me, Jews know how
Speaker 1: Christmas works. It's not like we're gonna walk into your
Speaker 1: Christmas party and say, oh my god, it's a tree
Speaker 1: indoors call a lumberjack. I don't want a holiday movie
Speaker 1: where a Jewish person learns about Christmas. I want a
Speaker 1: movie where a Christian has to learn about Hanukkah. A
Speaker 1: night one, we get socks, a night to a notebook,
Speaker 1: a night three, append and pencils set. It's a back
Speaker 1: to school holiday. But if you thought a fake Onka
Speaker 1: movie was tone death, put this in your stocking and stuff.
Speaker 1: Online retail giant Amazon just pulled several controversial Christmas items
Speaker 1: from its website. The items, including Christmas ornaments, bottle openers,
Speaker 1: and mouse pads, depict the Auschwitz concentration camp. Amazon says
Speaker 1: all of the products in question have been removed, adding
Speaker 1: that all sellers must follow our selling guidelines and Auschwitz
Speaker 1: Christmas ornament. Look, I know we say to never forget,
Speaker 1: but when you're decorating a tree, you can take the
Speaker 1: night off. This is crazy. Christmas has nothing to do
Speaker 1: with the Holocaust. Santa's List and Schindler's List are very
Speaker 1: different lists. But but if you have to think of
Speaker 1: the Jews at Christmas, why not get them a little
Speaker 1: something to show you care? Like this guy. Last week
Speaker 1: we told you about a controversial auction of Nazi memorabilia
Speaker 1: in Germany and knew this morning a Swiss businessman purchased
Speaker 1: many of the items, including Adolf Hitler's top hat. He said,
Speaker 1: in order to keep them out of the hands of
Speaker 1: neo Nazis. Abdela Chatila said he will donate the items
Speaker 1: to a Jewish group. He said he paid more than
Speaker 1: six hundred thousand dollars at the Munich auction last week.
Speaker 1: I appreciate the gesture, but who cares if a neo
Speaker 1: Nazi gets their hands on Hitler's top at. It's not
Speaker 1: like the hat will magically turn them into a Supernazi.
Speaker 1: All you get is a skinhead who looks like Mr Paynut,
Speaker 1: and giving Hitler's hat to a Jewish group isn't gonna
Speaker 1: do anything. They're just gonna take turns shipping in it.
Speaker 1: Although come to think of it, that sounds like a
Speaker 1: pretty good honocker to me. We thought Hitler's hat could
Speaker 1: only hold one third, but it held date. What a mitzvah.
Speaker 1: And by the way, are we sure this is real?
Speaker 1: We've all seen pictures of Hitler and he's never wearing
Speaker 1: a top hat. Personally, I think this is just a
Speaker 1: scam to get people to buy fake Hitler stuff, and
Speaker 1: that's the kind of scam I want to get in on.
Speaker 1: So hey, the on Nazis, perhaps I can interest you
Speaker 1: in Hitler's ninja. That's right, That wasn't a mustache on
Speaker 1: adof slip. That was residue from a delicious kale smoothie
Speaker 1: back now, and I'll even throw in Mussolini's fidget spinner.
Speaker 1: Trevor Louis Black. Everyone The Daily Show with Criminola Ears Edition.
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