Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with Brooks like and Gavin
Speaker 1: to Grab and I heard radio podcast. Okay, well, welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode of How Men Think. This is Dmitri
Speaker 1: and I am. I'm flying solo today and I don't
Speaker 1: know if that has to do with our special guests
Speaker 1: or not. Our special guest today is Santa Claus. And
Speaker 1: the only assumption I can make as to why I'm
Speaker 1: here alone is that everybody else is either on the
Speaker 1: naughty list or aware that they have done something and
Speaker 1: they're afraid to be on a zoom with with Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: But myself, I am thrilled. I love Christmas. I've always
Speaker 1: loved Christmas. It's my favorite time of year. The lead
Speaker 1: up to it is phenomenal with the decorations and the
Speaker 1: music and the excitement and anticipation. Um, it's always been
Speaker 1: you know, it's always been something for me that has
Speaker 1: has carried me through the year. Um, it's been you know,
Speaker 1: I had some some ever since I was a kid.
Speaker 1: It's something I would look forward to. And obviously I
Speaker 1: think we all get a little sad when the holiday passes,
Speaker 1: and I think that's that's just goes to you know
Speaker 1: why it's so important and how important it is to us. Um,
Speaker 1: it's just so, I'm actually, why don't I Why don't
Speaker 1: I bring Santa and now and I'll kind of explain
Speaker 1: a little bit of of what Christmas is to me.
Speaker 1: But I'm thrilled to introduce here. A man here needs
Speaker 1: no introduction. Santa Claus. Oh why everyone? How are you? Oh?
Speaker 1: You're all looking good. This is fantastic. I have to
Speaker 1: tell you, Santa, I am actually uh like a closet
Speaker 1: in my house right now because I have four children,
Speaker 1: and if they were to walk by and see me
Speaker 1: on a zoom with Santa Claus, I think the whole
Speaker 1: place would just explode. So I'm hunker down. I understand completely. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But what I'm am gonna do, if it's okay with you,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a screenshot of you and I chatting,
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna hold it over their heads for later,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna tell them that that you and I
Speaker 1: get together and shout about their behavior every once in
Speaker 1: a while. I forgot to use it to my advantage. Um, well,
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you it's Christmas, Like I was saying
Speaker 1: just a minute a moment ago, Christmas is my favorite
Speaker 1: time of year. It's obviously with everything that's going on
Speaker 1: is here, it's been a bit more of a of
Speaker 1: a challenge, but from my perspective, I've welcomed it more.
Speaker 1: And um, you know, I'm trying to keep things normal
Speaker 1: for the kids here at home because they're obviously remote learning.
Speaker 1: They're they're doing school at home, and Christmas is a
Speaker 1: very social time. So normally you go to people's houses,
Speaker 1: you might uh, you know, go bake cookies with a
Speaker 1: friend or something like that, and that's kind of about
Speaker 1: the window this year. So we've been trying to do
Speaker 1: some some different things here. My daughter, actually my oldest
Speaker 1: daughter made a movie advent calendar, so every day we
Speaker 1: pop open the thing and there's a smith movie, a
Speaker 1: holiday movie that we that that we're gonna watch that night.
Speaker 1: So a lot of screens. But what are you gonna do? Good? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And they've been making a lot of Christmas cookies, which
Speaker 1: which is nice. I hope to leave something for you
Speaker 1: for when you visit, but right now I'm I'm taking
Speaker 1: them down two at a time. You'd better leave some
Speaker 1: for me. Um, I will say, though, there's it. I
Speaker 1: was cleaning up flower every day in the kitchen, and
Speaker 1: then I decided to just leave it. And now it's
Speaker 1: just like a Winter Wonderland theme. That's just you know,
Speaker 1: white dusting all over the floors and everything. So you
Speaker 1: should see the kitchen here, I bet can I Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love to. I watched The Polar Express the other
Speaker 1: day for the first time. That always kind of creeped
Speaker 1: me out a little bit because the animation. But man,
Speaker 1: they made the North Pole look fantastic. It is fantastic.
Speaker 1: Look around. Yeah, if that's a true invitation, I'll come
Speaker 1: up and visit. Come on up. Um. Okay, well, so
Speaker 1: I don't So what we have here is we've compiled
Speaker 1: a list of questions that people want to know from
Speaker 1: Santa Claus, from our listeners. And I want to preface
Speaker 1: this by saying that these aren't from me, So I
Speaker 1: want you to remember these are from other people because
Speaker 1: some of them, you know, I assume Santa doesn't get offended.
Speaker 1: But there's some questions here and there. I've been around
Speaker 1: for quite a while. Okay, good, Yes, that's a matter
Speaker 1: of fact, you've have right, Um. Okay, so let's let's
Speaker 1: let's dive into some of these here. Um, let's start
Speaker 1: at the top. So this one's a simple, it's a
Speaker 1: saftball one. What is your favorite the favorite Christmas gift
Speaker 1: you have ever received or given someone? Oh, the favorite gift.
Speaker 1: I think a couple of years ago I got one
Speaker 1: of those air popping popcorn machines and at first I
Speaker 1: kind of thought, what's this? And actually I use it
Speaker 1: all the time. It's been a wonderful gift. Oh, very nice.
Speaker 1: Santa likes popcorn or Okay, now do you so? A
Speaker 1: lot of people kind of obviously dress up as you
Speaker 1: and and mimic you and portray you in different scenarios,
Speaker 1: whether it be for her photo opportunity or you know,
Speaker 1: something like that. Do you ever get offended or you know,
Speaker 1: insulted by by other other Santas? Oh, not at all,
Speaker 1: not at all. I've got ambassadors all around the world
Speaker 1: and I can't be everywhere once, so I need help
Speaker 1: and I'm happy to have everybody helping me out. It's
Speaker 1: a big job, but I want everybody to do a
Speaker 1: good job, all right, you know, you know none of that. Well,
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you I'm drinking out of my uh
Speaker 1: my reindeer monkey here, But it's just apple juice, So
Speaker 1: don't worry about that. Sure, it's my Marty Moose monk.
Speaker 1: Did you ever see Christmas Vacation? Oh, I've seen a
Speaker 1: few Chris His movies. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: Well that is one of the questions here. What is
Speaker 1: your favorite Christmas or Holiday movie? Well? I kind of
Speaker 1: like some of the old fashioned ones like Miracle on
Speaker 1: thirty four Street and some of those I really enjoy
Speaker 1: and I think that's what Mrs Claus likes as well.
Speaker 1: Some of the newer ones are a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: And I wish the North Pole were that glamorous but
Speaker 1: pretty played around here. We have a bunch of reindeer
Speaker 1: and elves running around and stables and barns. But it's
Speaker 1: a beautiful place, but not quite as glamorous and some
Speaker 1: of those movies. Yeah, I love that. Who would you say?
Speaker 1: This is actually another question is nice segue. Who would
Speaker 1: you say is did the best job portraying you in
Speaker 1: a movie? Oh? Who's that Russell character? There? He did
Speaker 1: a wonderful job. But his beard is not wide enough.
Speaker 1: Kurt Russell? Is that the Christmas Chronicles? That's the guy
Speaker 1: right there? Sure he's just skinny though, he needs to
Speaker 1: fatten up a bit. Well that is quite a that's
Speaker 1: quite some high praise though from from Santa Claus. Um.
Speaker 1: Now here's here's a question. Do you do you ever
Speaker 1: really give people? Listen? I know you're nice and you're
Speaker 1: you know you're treat everyone is saying, But there's this
Speaker 1: myth about you given coal to people that were naughty?
Speaker 1: Have you ever given cole or have you ever just
Speaker 1: given like a relation gift to some of it you
Speaker 1: weren't part in my mouth? Well, this is the kind
Speaker 1: of coal I give right here. And you don't want
Speaker 1: to get this, let me not at all. We want
Speaker 1: everybody to stay on the nice list, and I have.
Speaker 1: I'm guilty. You know one time this this kid just
Speaker 1: was not behaving and I gave him a chia pet.
Speaker 1: I think that that made me worse than coal. Oh
Speaker 1: it's horrible. Because the kids want iPhones and they want
Speaker 1: skateboards and all this wonderful stuff in here, I give
Speaker 1: them a g No no offense to the GIA company. O, no,
Speaker 1: of course, no, no offense to the coal industry. I
Speaker 1: assume as well. Santa loves everyone. Um, here's something, here's
Speaker 1: something interesting. My wife wants something sexy for Christmas? What
Speaker 1: do you recommend? Again, these are from our listeners. Oh,
Speaker 1: I got I had got a great idea. Okay, look
Speaker 1: this is my mask right here. Okay, look is that
Speaker 1: sexy Santa? For those of you that that are listening,
Speaker 1: I can't see Santa. Just Santa just took his face mask.
Speaker 1: It was very nice Christmas themed plaid mask. But then
Speaker 1: he turned it um from horizontal to vertical. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure how that would stay on Santa. But uh, that's okay.
Speaker 1: But I was trying to figure out it's okay. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm officially uncomfortable. Here's something someone says, I would like
Speaker 1: to suck up to my boss and win some points.
Speaker 1: What is the best gift to give your boss? Oh?
Speaker 1: I think probably the best thing you could do is
Speaker 1: find out what kind of sports he likes and give
Speaker 1: him some ballgame tickets or something like that. Here, you're
Speaker 1: going to score big points right there. That's very nice.
Speaker 1: That's a good Uh, it's good thinking. Obviously, when when
Speaker 1: sports fully come back, I love that idea. Now I
Speaker 1: just have to try and become someone's boss so I
Speaker 1: can get some sports tickets, which will that's not that's
Speaker 1: not gonna happen anytime soon. Um. Now, Santa, do you
Speaker 1: have any kids? This is a question from the listeners. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've got kids all over the world, millions of kids.
Speaker 1: I treat all the children of the world as if
Speaker 1: they were my own. That's funny because there's a follow
Speaker 1: up question and they say, I don't really like other
Speaker 1: people's kids. How do you do it? Well, it's simple
Speaker 1: for me because I'm only around the kids in a
Speaker 1: very short period of time in December. So it's easy
Speaker 1: because I get to go home. But the barrage, you're ducky.
Speaker 1: That's an excellent point, and you know what to Even further,
Speaker 1: bedtime is one of the hardest times of being a parent,
Speaker 1: trying to get the kids because sleep. You come in
Speaker 1: after they're asleep. That's right, quite an advantage. Okay, So
Speaker 1: someone else wrote it's tough this year, and frankly, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be near anyone in my family. I'm
Speaker 1: sick of them. How can I get into the Christmas spirit? Eggnog? Uh,
Speaker 1: regular nag regular? That a lot of sugar. They'll be careful. Okay,
Speaker 1: So sad, I think put on some Christmas music and
Speaker 1: maybe put up a few lights here and there and
Speaker 1: and doing the radio, end all those Christmas songs, and
Speaker 1: you'll get the Christmas spirit. Yeah, that's that's true. It's
Speaker 1: it's it's very uh, it really kind of it kind
Speaker 1: of takes you over and you can't help it but
Speaker 1: feel in a good mood when you hear the music
Speaker 1: and see the lights and stuff like that. Wonderful day
Speaker 1: and if worse comes to worse. There's that line from
Speaker 1: Christmas Vacation, which was he has Clark says, Dad, all
Speaker 1: those years, how did you do it? There's a lot
Speaker 1: of I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.
Speaker 1: That's true. I keep throwing out Christmas Vacation. I once
Speaker 1: watched Christmas Vacation every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas, once
Speaker 1: a day every day. I don't know if I'm bragging
Speaker 1: or if i'm you know, confessing. And I know what
Speaker 1: you're thinking. How can someone so popular with so many
Speaker 1: friends watch that movie every day? And the answer is
Speaker 1: they can't. I don't have I'm not that popular. I
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of friends. But I did watch
Speaker 1: that movie. So I may throw out lines here and there. Um,
Speaker 1: So here's another question for you. How do I tell
Speaker 1: my partner nice sleep that I do not like my gift. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's a tough one. That's a trap, right there. Be careful. Well,
Speaker 1: if you really want to tell me you don't like
Speaker 1: the gift, you could always take it through the window,
Speaker 1: open up the window and throw it out the window.
Speaker 1: But go over very well. No, I think that's the yeah,
Speaker 1: the nicely part that probably goes out the window as well.
Speaker 1: You should always accept a gift graciously. Now, you can
Speaker 1: always read gift. Remember, you can always wrap it up.
Speaker 1: Just make sure that it doesn't get back to the
Speaker 1: person that sent it. All right, So Santa is okay
Speaker 1: with a gift? Santa? Huh do you read gift? Oh no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no. We don't be gift up here at
Speaker 1: the North Well, no no, no, everything's made new every year.
Speaker 1: We keep busy up here. There's no way to return it.
Speaker 1: Where are you gonna do? Bring it all the way
Speaker 1: back to the north bowle here's actually, here's a question
Speaker 1: for someone and actually this rings true my home too,
Speaker 1: But it's actually vice versa. But this says, actually it's
Speaker 1: not vice versa. So it says my husband always wants
Speaker 1: to decorate before Thanksgiving, but my entire life, it's been
Speaker 1: traditioned to always wait until after. This year was tougher,
Speaker 1: tougher discussion because of all that's going on. What's your stance?
Speaker 1: Should people decorate before Thanksgiving or wait till the day after? Oh? Well,
Speaker 1: I think you should eat the birds first. I'm one
Speaker 1: of those camps. So some Christmas music here there is, okay,
Speaker 1: but you know, eat the birds first, get that taken
Speaker 1: care of, and then you can die, right And you know,
Speaker 1: traditionally the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is a little
Speaker 1: slow anyway, so there's time to decorate. M hm. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well that's that backfired because I'm actually the one that
Speaker 1: wanted to decorate before Thanksgiving. You know, maybe we'll just
Speaker 1: cut that out and I don't won't have my Why
Speaker 1: don't you just leave those give those lights up all
Speaker 1: year round? Exactly? Is that? What you do? Is the
Speaker 1: North Pole Christmas all year round? O? You know what
Speaker 1: we do and this is this was my idea and
Speaker 1: not Mrs Clau's idea. What we do. The entryway to
Speaker 1: the house is beautiful, it's all decorated up, and we
Speaker 1: leave it all real Christmas e. Right, So when guests
Speaker 1: come in, you know, they come into the house and
Speaker 1: they see Christmas going on, and usually that scares him
Speaker 1: and they run the other direction. What that's it said?
Speaker 1: What guests are you having at the North Pole? What
Speaker 1: guests you said? You have guests to come by during
Speaker 1: the year. That's exciting. Get a lot of guests up
Speaker 1: there if they can find it. You know, you need
Speaker 1: a really good compass to find the North Pole. You know,
Speaker 1: just keep going up there where the arrow says, keep
Speaker 1: going north, Just keep going north. Most people don't get
Speaker 1: all the way up there because it's quite far. It's
Speaker 1: not an easy trip. But the people that do make
Speaker 1: it have a wonderful time. It's beautiful up here, absolutely beautiful.
Speaker 1: A little chilly, but beautiful, very nice. Okay, so this
Speaker 1: one gets a little up. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: want to sip a night before this. But my wife,
Speaker 1: again this is from someone else. I'm just I'm just
Speaker 1: a messenger. My wife gets super turned on during Christmas,
Speaker 1: especially Christmas Eve. Do you know why that is? And
Speaker 1: also is that weird for you to hear? Well, whatever
Speaker 1: I can tell about you're laughing awkward? Well, you know,
Speaker 1: it's the ambiance of all the holidays. It's it's the
Speaker 1: lights and and you know, the whole magical part of
Speaker 1: Christmas that want to be special, you know. So this
Speaker 1: is a really good time to treat your loved ones
Speaker 1: with kindness. And uh go in and give your wife
Speaker 1: a little smooth and and and you know, take time
Speaker 1: for yourselves. You know you've got all those kids running around.
Speaker 1: They keep you busy, you know, so remember both the
Speaker 1: door and have a little bit of fun with the
Speaker 1: with the mussiness, and give her a big old kiss.
Speaker 1: Remember saying I love you doesn't hurt you one bit.
Speaker 1: Oh that's very nice. What's the most romantic I'm going
Speaker 1: off the cuff here just because you I didn't realize
Speaker 1: the recessor romantic. What's the most romantic thing you've ever
Speaker 1: done for Mrs Claus? Oh? Well, one time, you know,
Speaker 1: I think it was Valentine's and I did the whole
Speaker 1: thing with the rose pedals leading down the hall through
Speaker 1: the bedroom, and I put a little chocolate on the
Speaker 1: pillow and then one of the ls eight the chocolate.
Speaker 1: It didn't quite work, but the idea was there, and
Speaker 1: I really tried. I'm not great at all that sort
Speaker 1: of stuff. But I tried, and Mrs Claus appreciates that.
Speaker 1: You know. I think when you're with someone as long
Speaker 1: as I've been with Mrs Claus, you know, just being
Speaker 1: kind to one another and and all the other stuff
Speaker 1: sort of works itself out very nice. Remember, I'll give
Speaker 1: you a little secret. I'll give you a little secret.
Speaker 1: It's always yes, dear, Yes, yes, that's the part I
Speaker 1: keep forgetting. Oh well, listen, and you better relearning, you
Speaker 1: young kids. You know. I gotta thank you young guys
Speaker 1: how to do things. I'm not that young, but thank you. Well.
Speaker 1: I guess nobody knows how old you are, so and
Speaker 1: I won't go there, we won't ask that question. But
Speaker 1: I like your I like your advice to the rose
Speaker 1: petals and a little mistletoe in the bedroom. Huh oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that works. Just the fact that you remembered works. Um,
Speaker 1: How did you know Mrs Claus was the one? Well,
Speaker 1: that's an interesting interesting story. We were at an Iditarod
Speaker 1: race and this was a long long time ago, and
Speaker 1: she came around the corner with that team pulling pulling
Speaker 1: this leigh and she was cracking that whip. And I
Speaker 1: said that's the one for me. Oh, it's just a beauty.
Speaker 1: She kind of had this beautiful red outfit on. It
Speaker 1: was cooking like about to hear and oh boy, that
Speaker 1: did it for me. Okay, like a bull you saw
Speaker 1: red and that was right? You have that right? There
Speaker 1: was no at that point. Now, okay, here's another question. Um,
Speaker 1: does Mrs Claus like her alone time on Christmas Eve?
Speaker 1: When you're out all night? Does she miss you? And
Speaker 1: does she consider it like a boy's night out where
Speaker 1: like next week she gets a night out where you
Speaker 1: have to stay home and she gets to do what
Speaker 1: she wants. She's practically pushes me out the door. She
Speaker 1: can't wait till I'm out of there. But I will
Speaker 1: tell you one thing. She's really good at hiding everything,
Speaker 1: all the evidence and tending up before I get home.
Speaker 1: So I don't really know what goes on when I'm gone.
Speaker 1: Oh you might need to get one of those, uh
Speaker 1: give yourself one of those ring cameras or a nanny
Speaker 1: camera or something. That's an idea. I'll probably be shocked. Okay,
Speaker 1: So here's one. It says my husband doesn't help decorate
Speaker 1: the house. I have to basically beg him to decorate
Speaker 1: the tree. But shouldn't he want to do it. Shouldn't
Speaker 1: that be something that he wants to do together with me. Well,
Speaker 1: I'll be careful here, because you know, decorating and all
Speaker 1: that sort of stuff doesn't really become natural for a
Speaker 1: lot of man you know, some yea, some some that's fine,
Speaker 1: you know, but but most of us, it's not what
Speaker 1: we really like to do. It's not what we're best at.
Speaker 1: So uh, you know, just help out where you can
Speaker 1: and and the rest of it. I'm telling you you
Speaker 1: stay out of the way. Interject too much advice. I've
Speaker 1: learned that the hard way. Don't say to move that
Speaker 1: over that way a little. That's a trap. Be careful,
Speaker 1: stay out of it. Your best to stay out of
Speaker 1: all of it. Man, Santa, I knew you were the
Speaker 1: expert on presents and giving and the spirit of Christmas.
Speaker 1: I guess I didn't really know that you had such
Speaker 1: great relationship advice. Oh all right, how do you think
Speaker 1: guys getting married so long? That's a good point. So here,
Speaker 1: actually here's a question for you, and this, I guess
Speaker 1: this is a personal feeling for you that they don't
Speaker 1: want to sult you. But I want to break up
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend? Would you prefer I wait until after Christmas? Oh?
Speaker 1: I would? I would? Yes, nobody needs all that extra
Speaker 1: drama right at the holidays. Just wait. You know, a
Speaker 1: couple more weeks isn't gonna kill you. You just wait.
Speaker 1: It will make everybody's holiday a lot happier for sure. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: let's that's good advice. I guess. Yeah, as long as
Speaker 1: they they you know, they're together anyway, might as well
Speaker 1: just enjoy the holiday. I don't know at the moment,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of torn on that one, because then you're
Speaker 1: going through the motions. But listen, who am I to
Speaker 1: argue your Santa claus Um? Okay, let me see here.
Speaker 1: It says, how do I get my husband to get
Speaker 1: what I really want as a gift this year? And
Speaker 1: he tips? Anyway? That does Mrs Ods drop hints for you? Oh?
Speaker 1: Does she drop hands? Let me tell you? Have you
Speaker 1: ever seen a brick coming at you? Thankfully? No? Well,
Speaker 1: you know what she does, and I think she thinks
Speaker 1: she's being clever, but I've caught onto her. She gets
Speaker 1: all these magazines you see, and all these catalogs in
Speaker 1: the mail, and what she does is she kind of
Speaker 1: folds over the paper, you know, it's called dog eared,
Speaker 1: and she kind of folds it over to the page
Speaker 1: where she wants, you know, and then she leaves those
Speaker 1: in next to the commode. I can get the idea.
Speaker 1: It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Okay.
Speaker 1: The next question here is, uh, so they're very impressed
Speaker 1: with how organized you are, obviously keeping all the kids
Speaker 1: in the world and adults, uh, you know, organized, and
Speaker 1: they want to know what's what's a little tip that
Speaker 1: they can give their husband odds to how to stay
Speaker 1: more organized or how to be a little more organized organized.
Speaker 1: You think it's organized around here, it's the elves. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's mostly chaos. Okay, well that's good. That's that's the elves.
Speaker 1: They keep me in line, and you know the hardest
Speaker 1: thing for me to do. You know, sometimes I'll pick
Speaker 1: up a tool to make a toy and I'll set
Speaker 1: it down and I completely forgot where I set it down.
Speaker 1: So it's best if you can remember to put it
Speaker 1: back exactly where you found it. That way, it'll always
Speaker 1: be there. But when you have so many elves running
Speaker 1: around here and everybody's sharing tools again, it gets a
Speaker 1: little crazy, especially this time of the year. We're racing
Speaker 1: against the clock. Okay, well that's kind of a win
Speaker 1: for for unorganized guys out there, Santa said. Listen, he's
Speaker 1: not organized either, so yes, yes, you just back off.
Speaker 1: Let's get the job done. Worry about the organization later on.
Speaker 1: Here's an interesting one. If you could change one thing
Speaker 1: about Christmas and the holiday season, what would it be? Oh,
Speaker 1: I think, oh, let's see, probably not to do Christmas
Speaker 1: commercials in July. I think that, you know, hold off
Speaker 1: a little bit. You know, when you're in California, so
Speaker 1: you know, when it's a hundred degrees outside and you
Speaker 1: go inside and you see a commercial for Christmas stuff
Speaker 1: in the middle of summer, then work, wait a little
Speaker 1: let it get a little cooler, at least let the
Speaker 1: leaves fall off the trees before you start talking about Christmas.
Speaker 1: That's a good point, because listen, Christmas especial because it's
Speaker 1: that time of year, right, But if you stretch it out,
Speaker 1: it's gonna get You're gonna water it down. That's right,
Speaker 1: You've got it right there in a nutshell. This is
Speaker 1: interesting because you they want to know. Basically, most people
Speaker 1: get tired of their jobs like that. There's a day
Speaker 1: when they want to call in sick. I don't want
Speaker 1: to go in. Now you technically, I guess you were
Speaker 1: fully work one night a year. So maybe this isn't
Speaker 1: the case. But has there ever been? I wish I
Speaker 1: only work here? Why? Who are you kidding? Now? I
Speaker 1: haven't selted Santa. Oh boy, let me tell you. You
Speaker 1: come on up here to the north Bowle. You try
Speaker 1: to follow me around for one day, you won't be
Speaker 1: able to keep up. Look these are these are from listeners, Santa.
Speaker 1: That wasn't me. Okay, I'll let that one slide. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The last thing I need is a cheap Oh that's right, Listen,
Speaker 1: I'm running out of them. Oh. Really a lot of
Speaker 1: bad people out there. You have no idea. What would
Speaker 1: you say the ratio? How many? How many people would
Speaker 1: you say the percentage of people are are naughty? Well,
Speaker 1: you know, especially with the kids, we don't really have
Speaker 1: any naughty kids. We just have kids. They're good kids,
Speaker 1: but they have some issues that they need to work on. Everybody,
Speaker 1: all the kids are wonderful. Okay, They're just all really wonderful. So,
Speaker 1: like I said, have a few bad habits, and we
Speaker 1: have two as adults. Remind them, you know, what those
Speaker 1: bad habits are and to get back on the nice list.
Speaker 1: You see, that's how it's. Kids just need encouragement and
Speaker 1: they need you know, you need to give them good
Speaker 1: examples and and that's really what's important. Give the kids
Speaker 1: some positive examples and and and the best way to
Speaker 1: show kids about how things work is to is to
Speaker 1: show them, you know, learn by doing. And if you
Speaker 1: said a good example, the kids will pick up on that.
Speaker 1: Trust me, the kids are not stupid. There' smart. Wow, Santa,
Speaker 1: that was that was very well said. And not not
Speaker 1: that I should sound surprised because after all your Santa Claus,
Speaker 1: but that was very well said. There are no naughty kids,
Speaker 1: They're just have some habits and we have to lead
Speaker 1: by example. I love that. That's very nice. Um, but
Speaker 1: what about no adults. Well that's a different story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think we have time for the answer on
Speaker 1: that one. On your show. Is there anything that is
Speaker 1: there like a bar for for naughty? It's like you
Speaker 1: would say, you know what, that's it. That's this is
Speaker 1: the one thing that I want that that well, I'm
Speaker 1: sort of I'm sort of old fact. And you know
Speaker 1: I'm I'm old school, so a lot more gets by
Speaker 1: these days than than I would like to think. But
Speaker 1: you know, each his own very nice. Okay, Um, this
Speaker 1: one's um again. It could be uncomfortable, maybe not. It
Speaker 1: says my wife put a baby on her Christmas list,
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to know if that falls on
Speaker 1: you or me. I just don't want to double up
Speaker 1: and end up with two. Oh no, you don't. Hey,
Speaker 1: I know what you should do. I've got an idea.
Speaker 1: You know what you do. You get your car and
Speaker 1: you drive down to the town center, okay, and they
Speaker 1: always have an activity scene down there, right. I don't
Speaker 1: know where. I don't know where this is going, but
Speaker 1: go ahead for at night where nobody's can see, and
Speaker 1: make sure there's new cameras turned on. Okay, and you
Speaker 1: swipe the little baby right out of an activity scene
Speaker 1: to bring that home, wouldn't that be Well she'll get
Speaker 1: the answer on that one, Santa. We are officially off
Speaker 1: the rails. You just told someone to go down and
Speaker 1: steal the baby. Jesus. Oh no, No, that was just
Speaker 1: just thought that went through my head for one moment.
Speaker 1: That's all, okay, all right, we'll let we'll let that
Speaker 1: one slide after all of you. Our Santa clause is
Speaker 1: really the ultimate judgment comes to you. So that's fine. Um,
Speaker 1: this one isn't such a question as it seems more
Speaker 1: of a confession. Um. It says I once left you
Speaker 1: falla shaped cookies as a joke, and I'd like to
Speaker 1: apologize that was immature with me that right? That was?
Speaker 1: Do you remember the number one? Do you accept their apology? Oh?
Speaker 1: Sure I do. We all make mistakes. Some people just
Speaker 1: want to have a little bit of fun. That's all,
Speaker 1: no harm, no foul. What's the spinoff of that? What's
Speaker 1: the worst thing? So what do you like? Like? Obviously
Speaker 1: people leave you cookies at right now? When I was little,
Speaker 1: my dad told me we were making cookies, and my
Speaker 1: dad told my siblings and I that Santa might enjoy
Speaker 1: a little wine and cheese. So what is it that?
Speaker 1: What's your favorite thing to get? And what is something
Speaker 1: you particularly don't care to be left? Well, wine and cheese.
Speaker 1: You gotta be careful, remember I have to drive that sleigh.
Speaker 1: That's not a good idea to mix those. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I enjoyed cookies pretty much. I do like brownies.
Speaker 1: Brownies are good, and fudge is good, and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: some Jesus graggers are fine. I need that to anything.
Speaker 1: You lead me off, listen. If I don't like it,
Speaker 1: I'll leave it behind or I'll feed it to the rain.
Speaker 1: Here alright, I love it. I love the honesty of
Speaker 1: Santa Claus. Do you ever feel you seem pretty laid back?
Speaker 1: But do you ever feel stressed or anxious? Darting? Hold
Speaker 1: you ever feeling? A lot of these Christmas movies portray
Speaker 1: you was like, oh my god, Christmas might get canceled.
Speaker 1: Oh we're not gonna make it any time. Is it
Speaker 1: really that chaotic? Or are you pretty? Uh? Well? Most
Speaker 1: of the year, I'm pretty laid back, you know, but
Speaker 1: I've got a real tight schedule right when we're right
Speaker 1: down to the wire, and I just want to make
Speaker 1: sure everything goes smooth. And you know, it's like it's
Speaker 1: like when the kids ask me, Sanna, you know, how
Speaker 1: do I get good at doing this? Or how do
Speaker 1: I get better at doing that? Or how can I
Speaker 1: win the big game? You know, it all comes down
Speaker 1: to practice. And I've been doing this for a long time,
Speaker 1: so I'm getting pretty good at it. But anything. It's
Speaker 1: like anything with with music or with sports or anything. Man,
Speaker 1: if you practice, and you know, you really put your
Speaker 1: nose to the grindstone, you can accomplish anything, even traveling
Speaker 1: around the world and one night you know it takes practice.
Speaker 1: You know that that came from years and years of
Speaker 1: hard work, and that's the way to do it. So
Speaker 1: that's what we want to teach the kids. Don't give up.
Speaker 1: And if you don't make it to first time, well
Speaker 1: you get back up and you try a little bit
Speaker 1: harder next time and and eventually you'll get it. Persistence,
Speaker 1: persistent Santa, you're a very inspirery Um. Okay, so what
Speaker 1: about I guess the question here that they're asking is
Speaker 1: about in laws and presence, Like, what's the idea on
Speaker 1: on presence for your in laws? Say they don't specify
Speaker 1: whether they get along with their in laws or don't,
Speaker 1: but what's the what's the safe way to go with
Speaker 1: that because obviously there could be a lot of tension
Speaker 1: between in laws and that's right where let me give
Speaker 1: you a little secret. It doesn't always go smoothly with
Speaker 1: all the in laws, but if they're her in laws,
Speaker 1: you better give presents. Oh I fell into that trap
Speaker 1: one time. What happened? Yeah, that was a mistake. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter even if it's a cheapet. Well not now,
Speaker 1: not if they listen to the How Men Think podcast?
Speaker 1: Now are they gonna know that the chia pet is
Speaker 1: your it? It doesn't hurt to get him a little something,
Speaker 1: you know, go down to the nine cent store and
Speaker 1: find a little something fun. Yeah, you don't have to
Speaker 1: spend gobs of money to give somebody a thoughtful gift. Okay,
Speaker 1: and even if particularly don't, you know, you know somebody's
Speaker 1: not on your a list, Well, it's still minde to
Speaker 1: be kind. That's very nice. But you know what, you
Speaker 1: just gave me an idea. Maybe I will get a
Speaker 1: chia pet from my in laws. There you go give
Speaker 1: it to them and they'll even think, look at this,
Speaker 1: we got a gift. And this way i'll know if
Speaker 1: they listen to this podcast or not. That's right, And
Speaker 1: you know, because they're offended, then they listen. But if
Speaker 1: they don't, then I could be like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna guarantee you one thing with that statement. In
Speaker 1: two years, you're gonna get that cheeta pet back. It'll
Speaker 1: sit in their closet for two years and they don't
Speaker 1: remember who gave it to him. I guess i'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: how nice, it's the same one. That's right, Well, I
Speaker 1: gotta tell you, okay. So I think we're pretty good
Speaker 1: with the questions. Before you know, we we move on.
Speaker 1: I want to I want to tell people about something
Speaker 1: that you're doing up until Christmas. But before we do that,
Speaker 1: I do have a question that was not set in
Speaker 1: from the from the vehle. This one's from me, and
Speaker 1: I think I pretty much kind of know the answer
Speaker 1: to it. But I want to just clarify the song.
Speaker 1: Santa Baby. You can't stand that girl either, right? Oh no,
Speaker 1: who's that that? Come on? She's a handful, she's she
Speaker 1: asked for the stable, the convertible, the yacht, a deed
Speaker 1: and engagement ring. And all she says is think about
Speaker 1: all the guys I haven't kissed. That's how good I've been.
Speaker 1: Like and then on top of that, she's like, Santa,
Speaker 1: hurry the f up, hurry down the chimney, Like it's
Speaker 1: a little demanding. You cannot tell me as I know
Speaker 1: you're Santa Claus. You cannot tell me as A man
Speaker 1: that does that does not turn you off a bit. Oh,
Speaker 1: let me tell you a little secret, youngster, hire bar. Okay,
Speaker 1: not everybody's the same, and you'll learn that you're still young.
Speaker 1: You'll learn that. I guess I all these years I've
Speaker 1: been offended for you, I was thinking that she wasn't
Speaker 1: treating you very nicely. Oh, listen, all the hugs and
Speaker 1: kids that I get, How can you be offended because
Speaker 1: she's kind of being a bit of a bitch. But
Speaker 1: an engagement ring, a convertible, a deed or whatever. Fine,
Speaker 1: you know what, there's no secret here. We knew this already.
Speaker 1: But you're a better man than me, Sanna. You just
Speaker 1: have different expectations than you do, that's all. And hide
Speaker 1: your wallet. She had a lot of expectations. And then
Speaker 1: she's all said, hurry down the chimney, like, hurry down
Speaker 1: the chimney. It's your we know how you're coming. It's
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve. There's the way I get stuck. Come on,
Speaker 1: you look great, We'll think. Hey, do you think his
Speaker 1: red makes me look bad? No, the red does not. Well,
Speaker 1: Mrs Claus said, the camera adds ten pounds and I
Speaker 1: don't need me at all. These zoom cameras. I think
Speaker 1: they add more than tent so don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: Oh great, great, there goes myself to see. Oh no,
Speaker 1: I meant uh no, but that was a supposed to
Speaker 1: be a compliment, like I said, Okay, good, there we go.
Speaker 1: Now I've done it again. Yeah, another piece of goal
Speaker 1: right over here. God, now I've done it. I want
Speaker 1: to just point out that this is this for those listening.
Speaker 1: I know you can't see him. This is the authentic
Speaker 1: Santa Claus. This is not your mall Santa and orthopedic
Speaker 1: shoes with a fifth bit counting his steps. So all
Speaker 1: he talks to me like, this is legitimate Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: And despite the fact that I have used the word
Speaker 1: bitch in front of him and I have potentially offended
Speaker 1: him with both yours questions in mine, he is uh
Speaker 1: he is everything you have dream he is, and it's
Speaker 1: an honor to be here talking with him. Um. One
Speaker 1: thing I want to remind everybody too, it's been a
Speaker 1: very very difficult year and I think we all need
Speaker 1: a very good distraction from all that's going on, all
Speaker 1: the chaos in the world, especially the kids, really, especially
Speaker 1: the kids. So you know, really we really need a
Speaker 1: little bit of fun and a lightheartedness and all kidding aside.
Speaker 1: You know, we need to have more love and compassion
Speaker 1: for one another. Santa. Damn it, he did it again.
Speaker 1: Don't you get me all trip up over here. For
Speaker 1: those of you that can't see, he's crying right now,
Speaker 1: it's not a crying, it's more of a it's a
Speaker 1: it's an high perspiration. Okay, it's okay, damn it, Santa. Well,
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you so. As we know, Santa is
Speaker 1: according to Santing, he's busy all year round. We know
Speaker 1: he's definitely busy on the twenty on the night of.
Speaker 1: But up until then, I can tell you that he
Speaker 1: is part of something called Santa the Experience. And what
Speaker 1: you can do is you can book your sleigh ride.
Speaker 1: Departure is now through December one. Now through December. It's
Speaker 1: Santa the Experience dot com. And what you get is
Speaker 1: you get a magical elf guided journey from the comfort
Speaker 1: of your own home to the North Pole. You can
Speaker 1: explore Santa's mail room, the ELF's bedroom, the reindeer stables,
Speaker 1: and the toy factory plut that's amazing. Plus you get
Speaker 1: to hang out with Mrs Claus and talk directly live
Speaker 1: with Santa, which I can tell you firsthand is an
Speaker 1: experience that you have never had. Like I'm forty seven
Speaker 1: years old now, and obviously I've been a fan of
Speaker 1: Santa since I was little. This too, to be able
Speaker 1: to sit down and talk directly with him is is
Speaker 1: something I'll always remember. But the kids will absolutely love it.
Speaker 1: I am telling you it is the one of the
Speaker 1: most wonderful experience the kids will ever have. And I
Speaker 1: really do believe honestly that this is going to become
Speaker 1: a new annual editions for the families. It is absolutely wonderful.
Speaker 1: You will absolutely love it. It sounds great, it says.
Speaker 1: Each virtual experience takes place via Zoom, and you can
Speaker 1: share it with other family members around the world, so
Speaker 1: you could have your grandparents joining uncle's ants, cousins, and
Speaker 1: you can all safely join the treasured memory of visiting Santa.
Speaker 1: And after you say goodbye, you can receive a video
Speaker 1: recording of your chat with Santa to keep. Because it's
Speaker 1: I mean, frankly, I'll be honestly, like I said, I'm
Speaker 1: forty seven, this is a once in a lifetime trip.
Speaker 1: You can transport yourself to Santa the Experience and Unforgettable
Speaker 1: Live Family, Virtual Winter Wonderland. And that again is Santa
Speaker 1: the Experience dot Com. And that's now through December. You'll
Speaker 1: have a wonderful time. I guarantee it, Santa the Experience
Speaker 1: dot Com. Santa, I appreciate you. Um, I appreciate you period,
Speaker 1: but I appreciate you joining us today. I appreciate you,
Speaker 1: uh rolling with the questions from the listeners, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe a few that I might have thrown in for myself.
Speaker 1: It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it. Well, Santa,
Speaker 1: I appreciate the world appreciates all that you do, because um,
Speaker 1: you certainly bring a lot of happiness and joy in
Speaker 1: a world that doesn't always have that. So thank you
Speaker 1: so much for everything you do. Well, thank you very
Speaker 1: much for having me and you have a wonderful holiday season.
Speaker 1: Okay to you and your family. Thank you. Don't forget me.
Speaker 1: I will no chia pets? How good? I forget you? Right? Who?
Speaker 1: Who can? How can you have? Don you forgive me?
Speaker 1: I'm the guy that brought up the fallac shaped cookies
Speaker 1: and whatnot, and that's gonna get me in hot water.
Speaker 1: I tell you right now. Well, this has been an
Speaker 1: episode of another episode of How Men Think. I appreciate
Speaker 1: you guys for joining us, and I appreciate Against Santa
Speaker 1: and everybody for listening. And I just want to say
Speaker 1: it's been a crazy year. Be kind, be thoughtful, think
Speaker 1: of others, and take care of yourself. And happy holidays.
Speaker 1: Happy holidays,