Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
Speaker 1: talks back. What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in
Speaker 1: for a new episode that We Talk Back, a show
Speaker 1: dedicated to you, niggas and these holes. It's your co
Speaker 1: host aj Holiday. What's up, Tam, Hey, y'all and everybody
Speaker 1: in between you don't period? Yes, hey the rest of you. Ya,
Speaker 1: Thank y'all for tuning in again. It's me Tampa. We
Speaker 1: got my friend on the show, Me and the Ball.
Speaker 1: Take Me and the Boss, okay. Mia is an influencer.
Speaker 1: She is a super duper serial entrepreneur. She's a plus
Speaker 1: size model. As y'all can see, she's fucking beautiful, and
Speaker 1: she is the creator of one of your favorite blogs,
Speaker 1: Diary of a Fashionista fashion I don't have it anymore. No,
Speaker 1: it's just me at boss dot com now period, just
Speaker 1: me the box dot com. Yeah, I got rid of that,
Speaker 1: I go like a while ago. So all right, tell
Speaker 1: our listeners all about you? What you do? Why are
Speaker 1: you so sad? Yeah? So, I mean I started off
Speaker 1: blogging back in like two thousand and eight when I
Speaker 1: was in college. I studied journalism and mass communications, and
Speaker 1: I did not want to be like, you know, a
Speaker 1: typical like news reporter, hard news. Like my mom thought
Speaker 1: I was going to school to be a news anchor,
Speaker 1: Like I just killed all her dreams. But I just
Speaker 1: always wanted to work for like Harper's Bazaar. It was
Speaker 1: just really cool magazine back in the day called Swede.
Speaker 1: It was just always fashion and writing and then just
Speaker 1: being you know, a plus size girl, it was just nothing.
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't have any like anything I could
Speaker 1: kind of resonate too. So I was like, I'm about
Speaker 1: to just figure this out on my own, and I
Speaker 1: started a blog. It was like really high fashion at first,
Speaker 1: and then I remember this girl, she's really popular in
Speaker 1: Her name is Gabby Fresh. She interviewed me on her
Speaker 1: blog and I was like, you know what, I need
Speaker 1: to start talking about stuff that actually relates to me.
Speaker 1: So then that's where I decided. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to be a plus sized blogger. And you know,
Speaker 1: this is before Instagram. This is like between that air
Speaker 1: of like my Space and Facebook. I just only had
Speaker 1: Facebook to kind of promote myself and then my blog
Speaker 1: just started taking off and taking off, and then when
Speaker 1: Instagram came about, I think that's like, you know, just
Speaker 1: when everything just kind of started falling into place, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, dang, you know, it's twenty twenty three, fifteen
Speaker 1: years later, and the Internet just allowed me to do
Speaker 1: so much cool stuff. Fifteen years. When's the last time
Speaker 1: he worked for somebody? So um twenty eighteen March twenty eighteen,
Speaker 1: that was like my last real job. I worked for
Speaker 1: Sprint and I just went to work one day and
Speaker 1: I was just like I'm this literally went to work.
Speaker 1: I just came back from Atlanta and I had like
Speaker 1: a great weekend. I hated my manager, Fuck you Freddy.
Speaker 1: Um you're saying people name, but I already is a
Speaker 1: huge fan of the show Fuck you Freddie. But no, Like,
Speaker 1: I just went to work one day and I was
Speaker 1: just like I had no plan, like at all. I
Speaker 1: knew it had like a certain amount of money rolling
Speaker 1: in for like the next two months, but I had
Speaker 1: quit Sprint and then I was like, hey, We're gonna
Speaker 1: be an influencer full time. I remember like May twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1: I was like the first time I paid like all
Speaker 1: my bills was just like influencer money, and I was crying.
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, I could do this like for real. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's just it's been a long road and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, dang, you know, I'm all the stuff
Speaker 1: I really wanted to do, like in some shape form
Speaker 1: or fashion. It came true, you know, like I didn't
Speaker 1: write for like a fashion magazine, but I still got
Speaker 1: to fulfillment doing things like my own way, telling my
Speaker 1: own story. We got fifty million questions for you, but
Speaker 1: I'm ready the first we gotta get into our stupid
Speaker 1: internet news. Yes, please have a slip of that simply. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to try. If I saw this like
Speaker 1: on Twitter. Okay, let's let's se let's see. Hey, oh
Speaker 1: my god, it takes just like the regular like lemonade this,
Speaker 1: but it's gonna get you. It does in a real way.
Speaker 1: Did you give me a little a little buzz? All right?
Speaker 1: Stupid internet news? All right, So I gotta start with
Speaker 1: Jonathan made my husband in some properly please missus major?
Speaker 1: Miss okay, missus major. Do you want to do the
Speaker 1: story about now? Go ahead? You can go ahead, you know,
Speaker 1: because I did a public statement. He's in some trouble
Speaker 1: this weekend. This past weekend. Um, he was accused of
Speaker 1: assaulting his real girlfriend. I don't think he was there,
Speaker 1: According to DMZ law what is dmz D. According to
Speaker 1: t m Z Excuse Me, law enforcement says that the
Speaker 1: alleged victim accusing Jonathan Major's assault assault is his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: The couple was reportedly in a taxi when the argument started.
Speaker 1: They reportedly got into the altercation after his girlfriend called
Speaker 1: another woman texting the actors and who was the other
Speaker 1: woman that was you? Yes? Why you mean? I wonder
Speaker 1: who was? I think? Because listen, I imagine that this
Speaker 1: man has not gotten attention from black women. Did you
Speaker 1: see as Yeah, it's a glow up. It's a major clone, right, Listen.
Speaker 1: I love Jonathan Majors. I be posting him on my
Speaker 1: story like that's and people were actually sending me like
Speaker 1: this clip these uh articles like yes, like this is
Speaker 1: my real nigga, Like yes, I had a persement. He's
Speaker 1: that right, he is. But I just can't believe he's
Speaker 1: like white girls. Well, yes, I think him until recently,
Speaker 1: and now he's getting the attention of the women he
Speaker 1: probably really wanted in the first place. He guilty, He
Speaker 1: is not guilty. It's but he was the one that
Speaker 1: called the police. And he called the police. Yes, but
Speaker 1: why he walking out there saying the black man guilty?
Speaker 1: What happened? Why? But why he walking out of court
Speaker 1: with a hat, a shirt or a hat that said
Speaker 1: freedom or something on it, like freedom we all want
Speaker 1: for me. But he's maybe he's done with these white women.
Speaker 1: He about to come on home to the Motherland. That's
Speaker 1: what it is. Come on, we like you now, we
Speaker 1: like you now. Like black men, he gives real like slaves. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's that kind of fun. I've never seen black men
Speaker 1: in a frenzy like this when it comes to this
Speaker 1: black man. For whatever reason, I saw black men condemning
Speaker 1: him already, Like, y'all remember the black guy who got
Speaker 1: murdered by his white girlfriend in Miami? Was that last
Speaker 1: he was my dream? Like yeah, And he had spent
Speaker 1: a lot of time disparage and black women on Twitter
Speaker 1: from high school. You know, black men were even like
Speaker 1: coming to you know, back, come to back for him.
Speaker 1: But Jonathan Majors is like, y'all really hate this nigga
Speaker 1: for what reason? Is he that fine? Just that a man? Fine?
Speaker 1: Unlessen we can move on. He is that fine. He's
Speaker 1: like his nose spread all the way across the space,
Speaker 1: A Bell peppered, I love bell Peppers. We shall see what.
Speaker 1: All right, there's a clip that's out. I know y'all
Speaker 1: saw it. I know y'all saw it. That a guy
Speaker 1: went around. I don't know if he has a podcast,
Speaker 1: but he was outside with his video camera. But he
Speaker 1: went around asking people did they want to get a
Speaker 1: dinner with Soldier Boy or two hundred and fifty dollars
Speaker 1: with food stamps, and everybody, everybody that they posted, because
Speaker 1: I don't imagine everybody said two hundred fifty dollars in
Speaker 1: food stamps, but everybody that he posted was like, I mean,
Speaker 1: who was Soldier Boy? I get two fifty dollars? They
Speaker 1: playing big break, they playing him. I would definitely go
Speaker 1: to dinner with Soldier Boy. Yeah, Like, come on, he
Speaker 1: was a major like marketing guru in middle school. I
Speaker 1: don't know if people realize that it now, like he
Speaker 1: really got shit popping on YouTube for a lot of artists,
Speaker 1: and they disrespected him. I know, you look a little
Speaker 1: like crackheadish now, but Soldier Boy always been a ship
Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, I would definitely I would
Speaker 1: have went to dinner with him two five hundred bally
Speaker 1: specifus fuck, you gonna get a card in the eggs milk, right,
Speaker 1: you know, I get what I would have. I would
Speaker 1: have went to the dinner just so I could laugh.
Speaker 1: I just think he's like a character, Like, I know,
Speaker 1: he's gonna smell like cigarettes in there, right, ain't gonna
Speaker 1: be telling us about how he shot up some ships.
Speaker 1: I was like, he was the first person to do this.
Speaker 1: Was like, okay, I'm here for it's a lot. I
Speaker 1: think majority of people would have went to dinner with
Speaker 1: soldier boys. Yeah it was two hundred fifty dollars of
Speaker 1: food Sam. Yeah. They was definitely playing, Like, yeah, stop
Speaker 1: playing with soldier I got a funny story. So this
Speaker 1: guy used to date uh maybe I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 1: five years after we met, he admitted to me that
Speaker 1: he actually hacked my Facebook page and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you was in that message and soldier boy And I'm
Speaker 1: like what, I'm driving from Chicago back to Saint Louis, Like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck are you talking about? I'm going years
Speaker 1: back and my Facebook messages at this time, I'm not
Speaker 1: even on Facebook, but I still have it. While I'm driving.
Speaker 1: I'm in two thousand. I don't know ten at this
Speaker 1: point in messages, and I see a message to Soldier
Speaker 1: Boy that said, Soldier boy, I love you so much.
Speaker 1: Pitcher was my niece. My niece massage Facebook, but a
Speaker 1: nigga that hacked my Facebook. But he was like, yeah
Speaker 1: you was. He was. I ain't trying to power that
Speaker 1: pussy for Soldier boy, Like why first of all, why
Speaker 1: did you hack my shit? I don't even want to
Speaker 1: see my Facebook messages from that time, and he had
Speaker 1: to have hacked my shit like when he just met me.
Speaker 1: Have y'all ever been in like a celebrity's dms Kanye.
Speaker 1: I'm always telling him to call me like nigga called
Speaker 1: me so we can talk about how I give you
Speaker 1: some advice. But he used to write me back, used
Speaker 1: to message message with but ROSSI really write me back
Speaker 1: though I was so in love with him like I was.
Speaker 1: That's where my name came from, me and the Boss
Speaker 1: because I wanted to talk about and I can't remember
Speaker 1: why I was messaging. I think he was in town
Speaker 1: I loved. I wanted to be a uh like like
Speaker 1: the black Bottle girl because I just wanted that that
Speaker 1: varsity jacket he was like, start posting, put it in
Speaker 1: the work. I was like, Nigga sent me in the
Speaker 1: Champagne right period. I just wanted the jacket. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to post this ship. But Rick Ross, if you're listening,
Speaker 1: this was I was. Yeah. I was definitely very very
Speaker 1: young when that happened. When I jumped in there just
Speaker 1: on some bullshit. I wasn't even serious. Ye I'm like, Nigga,
Speaker 1: my birthday coming up? What's up? Yeah, same birthday. A
Speaker 1: lot of need he needs some he needs some real guidance,
Speaker 1: and he needs some real friends. So I just want
Speaker 1: to be Kanye's friend. Ye want to be your friend.
Speaker 1: So I just saw this come up. Aaron Hernandez's brother.
Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all remember that, the former NFL
Speaker 1: player who actually committed suicide in prison after being convicted
Speaker 1: of multiple murders. His brother apparently throw a brick through
Speaker 1: ESPN's headquarters and with a note attached it says to
Speaker 1: all media outlets, It's about time, y'all, It's about time
Speaker 1: you all realize. He spelled it r E A l
Speaker 1: E y E s that theft realize YEA. He liked
Speaker 1: third Eye in the middle of the forehead, like y'all
Speaker 1: niggas need to realize the effect media has on all
Speaker 1: family members. Since you're a worldwide leader, maybe you could
Speaker 1: lead how media and messages are delivered brick by brick,
Speaker 1: Clean it up, yours truly, Dennis ja Hernandez. So, of
Speaker 1: course he's been arrested. Well, he admitted to being at ESPN,
Speaker 1: but didn't wish to speak about the incident. Dennis was
Speaker 1: advised to stay off ESPN's campus or he could get
Speaker 1: arrest Oh. Actually, so he wasn't arrested yet. You could
Speaker 1: get arrested or charge of trust passet. They feel bad
Speaker 1: for him. I'm kind of that's kind of sad that
Speaker 1: whole situation is all think he committed suicide. It's just
Speaker 1: rather that whole story just when it came out, you know,
Speaker 1: because that, you know what, that brings up a conversation
Speaker 1: about CTE and things like that. Because there was a
Speaker 1: guy in Charlotte just recently last year who he was
Speaker 1: an x NFL player. I don't know his name, I
Speaker 1: can't think of it, but a newly x NFL player
Speaker 1: who has some mental illness all of a sudden, and
Speaker 1: he killed his doctor. His doctor's wife and their two
Speaker 1: grandkids and the housekeeper. Yeah. Oh and people working on
Speaker 1: the air condition outside. Wait, I saw this in the news.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. I didn't know that was in Charlotte though. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like four meal, like right outside of Charlotte. And it
Speaker 1: just brings up a conversation about CT and what there
Speaker 1: was boys putting their body through to get that money. Man,
Speaker 1: Because do you think an Hernandez would have been the
Speaker 1: way he was had he not been in I think
Speaker 1: did you watched that documentary? He was a killer? Yes?
Speaker 1: And was he a killer before he got into n
Speaker 1: And when you add money to ego and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: people get kind of wild. I feel like oftentimes celebrities
Speaker 1: people and in sports and stuff like that, they kind
Speaker 1: of go under the radar. They are not exempt from
Speaker 1: being serial killers and sociopaths and psychopaths. They're not exempt,
Speaker 1: but nobody's looking at them, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So they actually have the means to get away with
Speaker 1: a lot of the ship. They could be serial killers,
Speaker 1: but nobody looking at them. Right. I remember it was
Speaker 1: like a decapitated body found in Hollywood Hills, like Middle
Speaker 1: Eastern person, Who the fuck did it. Nobody ever got
Speaker 1: arrested for it, but they just when you got a
Speaker 1: bunch of money, you're sitting around and thinking like, damn,
Speaker 1: what have I not done? Right? But that's crazy? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is that how we're end in stupid internet news with murder? Murder? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break on that note. It'll be
Speaker 1: right back. Okay, guys, we're back and we're not talking
Speaker 1: about that crazy. I want to talk to you Mia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's all right? So let's talk about relationships and being
Speaker 1: full figure? All right, let's talk all right? So first
Speaker 1: let me ask you, do you like the word full
Speaker 1: figure or do you prefer something? I feel like there's
Speaker 1: just so many words that people have just added. I mean,
Speaker 1: plus eze is coool. I know, I don't. Some people
Speaker 1: don't like that. Some people don't like the word fat.
Speaker 1: I thought that's what full figure. It's just too much.
Speaker 1: It's too much talking, like, there's too many words plus size.
Speaker 1: So what you would be? Okay? If I said fat?
Speaker 1: I feel like that's offensive. If I'm fighting, if see
Speaker 1: it's it's like it's like one of those things it
Speaker 1: has like a it can have like a positive and
Speaker 1: a negative, like connotation. But plus size is just like
Speaker 1: you know, the word society has deemed you know, like
Speaker 1: so we go with that one plus size versus full figure.
Speaker 1: You know, people start saying voluptuous and all that other stuff.
Speaker 1: Just stop. It's just too much. You're doing too much,
Speaker 1: too much. So do you feel like have you ever
Speaker 1: felt like being plus size has hindered you from like
Speaker 1: having successful relationships, are finding a partner forever? I mean
Speaker 1: in some aspects. I mean, for the record, I get
Speaker 1: niggas period period. But for the record, we all consider
Speaker 1: plus size based on the BMI and all child women.
Speaker 1: But um I always that's so when it comes to
Speaker 1: like that, like I know, like people always say like
Speaker 1: plus size day. I remember, like they tried to kill
Speaker 1: me on Twitter and they told me I had pretty
Speaker 1: plus sized privilege. I'm like, y'all just adding labels stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a whole the topic. But I I mean I
Speaker 1: feel like, yes, being a plus sized woman, there are
Speaker 1: things you know that you I had to learn, Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm thirty four now, I'm not everybody's type,
Speaker 1: just like everybody isn't my type. But I just feel
Speaker 1: like it all kind of goes by, like you know,
Speaker 1: how you present stuff. I remember I had like this
Speaker 1: guy tell me I was like trying to talk to
Speaker 1: his frin. He was like, oh, he don't like big girls,
Speaker 1: and I was like fuck you. Then, like I mean, okay,
Speaker 1: whoop do you do? Like it wasn't gonna hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1: But I think, like maybe when I was like in
Speaker 1: middle school, high school with a little bit different, but
Speaker 1: I mean just now just kind of coming to know
Speaker 1: like what I like, I can see the the issues
Speaker 1: people have and just because I feel like maybe I
Speaker 1: mean I'm not in a successful relationship, but I mean
Speaker 1: I've been able to like navigate dating. You just have
Speaker 1: to date who likes you. So I think that's the
Speaker 1: thing that people have to also understand too, is like
Speaker 1: you can't get mad if like a guy that you're
Speaker 1: going after a girl you're going after if they don't
Speaker 1: like you based off your physical appearance. I mean, because
Speaker 1: because I can be like, you know, I don't like skinny,
Speaker 1: light skin dudes. I like dark skinned guys, so soobody
Speaker 1: could easily that's fine. That is a very nice guy.
Speaker 1: I mean, I have my own his hair is really nice.
Speaker 1: So it's like I think, like I see that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, the struggles and even like for myself sometimes
Speaker 1: I'd just be like, Okay, what if I look different,
Speaker 1: maybe like you would like me. I'll be like, why
Speaker 1: would you want to change the way you look to fit?
Speaker 1: You know? Or you know, like I've had guys like
Speaker 1: say stuff because I mean I had my weight has
Speaker 1: like fluctuated and things like that, and now like I've
Speaker 1: really been in the gym. I remember this dude was
Speaker 1: like in my snapchat dms, like somebody used to fuck with,
Speaker 1: like for real, and he's like, oh, I see you,
Speaker 1: you're losing weight. And then he'll make like little comments
Speaker 1: like oh, when you're gonna get your body done? I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're not the niket for me. Like, and even if
Speaker 1: I decided to do that, Like what would ever in
Speaker 1: your life make you think you can't even touch the
Speaker 1: new body? The current body? Like right, yeah, so so
Speaker 1: do you feel like um body positivity sometimes promotes an
Speaker 1: unhealthy lifestyle because there's a conversation about no. Absolutely, I
Speaker 1: think the whole body positivity movement has been totally gentrified
Speaker 1: and it's just it's just a shit show now, Like
Speaker 1: I remember, like it when that whole movement came about.
Speaker 1: It was supposed to be you know, like to empower
Speaker 1: like you know, women who go beyond like the regular size,
Speaker 1: plus size women just you know, to love themselves, to
Speaker 1: embrace themselves. Now, I always see the argument people say
Speaker 1: when it comes like, oh, it's promoting unhealthiness. But it's
Speaker 1: just like, okay, like nobody says anything to people who
Speaker 1: you know, who are intorexic or whatever the case may be.
Speaker 1: I just I don't know what society's thing is about
Speaker 1: always picking on fat people. I just don't get it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, if they're happy, you know whatever. Now me,
Speaker 1: on the other hand, I mean, yeah, there is I
Speaker 1: feel like there's a point when all right, you know
Speaker 1: you're pre diabetic, things like that. But it's just like
Speaker 1: I don't think it promotes an unhealthy lifestyle. I think
Speaker 1: it's just a community for people to feel like some
Speaker 1: type of togetherness so they can just feel, you know,
Speaker 1: like feel some type of love, some type of sense
Speaker 1: of like belonging. Because like, yeah, because growing up, I
Speaker 1: mean I didn't have like any type of positive plus
Speaker 1: sized role models. I mean, like Monique, no shade to her,
Speaker 1: but that wasn't somebody, you know, who I looked up to,
Speaker 1: like Monique and Nicky Parker. I just always felt like
Speaker 1: there was every time it was like a plus sized
Speaker 1: person in the media, they were always funny, yea, the
Speaker 1: Big Mama and yeah, and I was just like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm cute, I'm glamorous, I like fashion. There was never
Speaker 1: anything like that. So I'm just like, Wow, fast forward
Speaker 1: to today, you have so much representation. So but just
Speaker 1: kind of back in what I said about it just
Speaker 1: being gentrified. Like when you go to Instagram you type
Speaker 1: in like hashtag body positivity, You'll see all these Caucasian
Speaker 1: women who might be like a size twelve, and they're
Speaker 1: hunched over so they can make their roles look pronounced,
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, I embraced my body. I'm like, girl, No,
Speaker 1: you don't, like you can go on Zara and find
Speaker 1: something aware, you know, Like, So, I just feel like
Speaker 1: I've personally just kind of like in my influencer journey,
Speaker 1: I've kind of I learned the plus sized community is
Speaker 1: very weird, and I just I developed my own lane
Speaker 1: once I kind of figured out, like, you know, I
Speaker 1: found my niche of what I wanted to do. I
Speaker 1: was just like, I don't really need all these labels
Speaker 1: to define I am, like, you know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: You know it works for me, right. We all know
Speaker 1: men men love plus size women. I talk about this before.
Speaker 1: I've talked about this before. How one of my exes
Speaker 1: he would always cheat with, Like I used to have
Speaker 1: a whole problem, Like if I would have saw you,
Speaker 1: like out in public somewhere, I'm like, I know, like
Speaker 1: he likes this. You know what I'm saying, Like he,
Speaker 1: But that's so crazy because like that's one but they
Speaker 1: don't they think like they want to get they would
Speaker 1: get shamed better friends. It's like that's the thing. No,
Speaker 1: but some people have like a BBW fetish And I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I think men who have had big moms
Speaker 1: that's what they attracted to. I don't know, but I
Speaker 1: don't like guys like I love big girls. I like
Speaker 1: chubby girls. I'm like, I'm sorry, baby, I'm not that
Speaker 1: one for you, right this one this is different over here.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be fetish sized or anything like
Speaker 1: that because, like you, you always know those guys who
Speaker 1: who have those vibes, and I'm just like, that's never
Speaker 1: going to be the guy for me, Like, I just
Speaker 1: that's just not what I like. I'm like, I go
Speaker 1: where I'm celebrated it like, but I mean, isn't that
Speaker 1: celebrating you know? If he said I like chubby girls,
Speaker 1: I like big girls. But it's like those are those
Speaker 1: guys are always real creepy, like every single time. Like
Speaker 1: it's just and that's another thing too. It's like it's
Speaker 1: one of those things. It's like as a plus size woman,
Speaker 1: like we experienced that and you're like, oh, here it
Speaker 1: goes a guy who has like the BBW obsession and
Speaker 1: I hate that term. I'm like, you didn't about to
Speaker 1: call me a beauty video. I'm not a porn category,
Speaker 1: but but no, there's God embrace. It's just like it's
Speaker 1: just so cringe to me sometimes because I just feel
Speaker 1: like what like I don't know, I just feel like
Speaker 1: I'm not like the typical plus size girl, you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm that's not what my brand's about. I don't
Speaker 1: have to be on a soapbox every day saying I'm fad,
Speaker 1: this is my struggle, this is my fight, Like and
Speaker 1: there are some girls that is that's their thing. What
Speaker 1: about Lizzo? How do you feel about Lizzo and platform
Speaker 1: and how she feels like I've always been like just
Speaker 1: kind of like on the fence about Lizzo. It's like,
Speaker 1: you know, her music is great. I feel like sometimes
Speaker 1: she she does you know, she is a little bit
Speaker 1: too extra, but it's just like, you know, the time
Speaker 1: that she came, like she is fitting that she's fitting
Speaker 1: that role for you know, society needed someone to feel that,
Speaker 1: you know, that role of like, you know, she's a
Speaker 1: powerful plus sized woman who you know makes really good music,
Speaker 1: appeals to millions the masses. There's nobody else that's really
Speaker 1: ever you know, been like her. So for for that,
Speaker 1: you know, I give it to her. I'm even like
Speaker 1: the brand that she has called Yitty Um. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that's really cool too because I saw like
Speaker 1: non plus sized people are wearing it as well. But
Speaker 1: it's just like I just hate that as a plus
Speaker 1: size woman, especially if someone you know who's just like
Speaker 1: in the in the mainstream met like you always just
Speaker 1: have to talk about like you think she's definite struggle.
Speaker 1: I mean, but when she started working out, here goes
Speaker 1: people talking about like, oh, you're you're trying to lose weight.
Speaker 1: I'm just like it's like you damned if you do,
Speaker 1: you damned, you're dough. It's like you're gonna condemn me
Speaker 1: if that I'm fat and you're telling me you need
Speaker 1: to lose weight, you need to work out, and then boom,
Speaker 1: you see me working out. Oh, you're you're trying to
Speaker 1: lose too much weight. You're gonna you're gonna lose your
Speaker 1: fan base. You're not really promoting. So it's just like
Speaker 1: black people say, you're gonna look like a crackhead child.
Speaker 1: So I just and that's that weight. That's what people say.
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't believe in big bones, Like no,
Speaker 1: it's the scientific. There is nobody that's big bones. Like
Speaker 1: I'm from I'm from Cincinnati, Ohio. I didn't hear none
Speaker 1: of these phrases until I moved to Charlotte when I
Speaker 1: was twelve. I was like, big bone, red bone, What
Speaker 1: does all these bones in the South? Like everybody's just
Speaker 1: making up all this stuff. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: ain't nobody got no big bones? Like said when we died,
Speaker 1: like all of our skill baby look the same. So
Speaker 1: you don't feel like losing weight will hurt your brain
Speaker 1: at one point, So like um. In twenty sixteen, I
Speaker 1: had um weight loss surgery and I lost like a
Speaker 1: good amount of weight, but I was very scared about
Speaker 1: it because I didn't want to lose weight like too fast.
Speaker 1: My dad's like, you're gonna look like Star Jones and
Speaker 1: that just it's good now though her head was so big,
Speaker 1: and so that was like my worst fear. It's like
Speaker 1: I didn't want to have like, you know, like that
Speaker 1: drastic that drastic change. I mean over time, you know,
Speaker 1: like I started gaining weight back, but then like two
Speaker 1: years ago, I really ignited my knee. I just you know,
Speaker 1: just going to the gym or something that I like.
Speaker 1: But that was always, you know, a common thing. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're trying to lose weight, you know, because at the
Speaker 1: time my blog was called Diary of a Fat Shinista.
Speaker 1: They're like, you know, how are you gonna try to
Speaker 1: I hate people you want to get skinny. I could
Speaker 1: never see myself, you know, being skinny. I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: five ten. I weighed like three fifteen right now, three
Speaker 1: fourteen actually, but I could just never see myself like
Speaker 1: being skinny. I mean I've always you know, I built
Speaker 1: the brand upon being a plus size girl showing plus
Speaker 1: size girls. You know, to be confident, to be sexy,
Speaker 1: you can do, you know anything, like your weight doesn't
Speaker 1: define you. Just be unapologetically you. And even now, like
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm older, I'm just like you know, people change,
Speaker 1: so it's like you can't hold people to the same
Speaker 1: place that they were, you know, ten years ago. So
Speaker 1: somebody decides, you know, make that change at the end
Speaker 1: of the day. You know, it's like we're responsible for ourselves.
Speaker 1: My health was always going to come before a brand
Speaker 1: or you know, an image I'm trying to uphold. And
Speaker 1: then just the same way, you know, you get brand deals,
Speaker 1: you'll get other brand deals. Right, everything's about evolution, transforming.
Speaker 1: When Tim and I came up, you know, we thought
Speaker 1: about this episode. You remember the girl Monique curring her
Speaker 1: boyfriend off of Love After. I don't watch the show,
Speaker 1: but I've seen enough on Instagram to know what everything
Speaker 1: is about. Like we were like thinking about that because
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the comments online. I'm like, like, why
Speaker 1: do y'all think she can't get him? Like look at him,
Speaker 1: Like what the fuck are y'all seeing? Um? And so
Speaker 1: she took the social media and she was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know why people are so obsessed with my weight
Speaker 1: and my relationship with Derek. Y'all get on the internet
Speaker 1: and be fake caring about mental health and protecting black women,
Speaker 1: and all I see on these blog sites is black
Speaker 1: men and women in the comments bullying another black woman
Speaker 1: about her weight. This this show was filmed months ago.
Speaker 1: Me and Derek have been together almost three years. He
Speaker 1: loves it here, Okay, he's living living our truth. Love
Speaker 1: is love. She concluded, Like, why do y'all feel like
Speaker 1: I don't know a plus sized woman who doesn't have
Speaker 1: a man and who has not had a man ever? Right,
Speaker 1: I say the same thing. I'm like, dam everybody got
Speaker 1: a man self? Hey, whatever I do exactly so shit,
Speaker 1: That's how I feel. I just I think it just
Speaker 1: it just really bothers people, because like I feel like
Speaker 1: whenever someone sees like a plus size woman who's happyy,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, who's happy and she's thriving, you know, she's confident,
Speaker 1: It just it bothers them. Like my biggest pet peeve
Speaker 1: is when someone say I admire your confidence. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't say that to somebody who wasn't big, right,
Speaker 1: And they have little self esteem and people and they
Speaker 1: don't and they don't know that that that's really like
Speaker 1: a dig, Like I admire your confidence. So like I
Speaker 1: used to always go in on people. I used to
Speaker 1: be like the Rihanna clapback queen on Instagram. But now
Speaker 1: I'm just like I'm just living my life. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't care. But it's just like I don't see
Speaker 1: why people care, Like, you know, if they're together and
Speaker 1: they're happy, you know why like why is that affecting
Speaker 1: your life? How is that going to change your current situation.
Speaker 1: It's just they just don't understand the dynamics and they're
Speaker 1: just like, well, how or what it if? I'm just
Speaker 1: like let them be happy, like they got a lot
Speaker 1: of drama, but if it's working for them, like body,
Speaker 1: y'all care? Right, But when someone says they admire your confidence,
Speaker 1: I don't think they mean it as a dig because
Speaker 1: I feel like people assume that if you're plus size,
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to not feel love yourself or not
Speaker 1: be happy. Yeah, because it's like to some so like
Speaker 1: they'll be like, you're so brave for wearing that dress.
Speaker 1: I admire your confidence, right, And I'll just be thinking
Speaker 1: like if it was somebody like I don't know, like Ariya,
Speaker 1: y'all are not telling her you admire her confidence. So
Speaker 1: it's a lot of comments. Sometimes I'm just like, that's
Speaker 1: it's it's like people think it's not it's not like
Speaker 1: you know, a dig or it's not negative, but it
Speaker 1: actually is because I'm just like, why would you say
Speaker 1: that to me? It's like I know that I'm a
Speaker 1: confident person, but it's like you don't have to say
Speaker 1: that to a because like because then they're braining things
Speaker 1: like wow, she put that dress on, like she is
Speaker 1: so brave for doing that, And I'm just like, I
Speaker 1: wear would I want to wear? I look the good period.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you were having on some risk ay stuff on
Speaker 1: social media, and do you ever get like people under
Speaker 1: in the communists like talking shit like women or men
Speaker 1: are always gonna like sucker, they just gonna be creeps.
Speaker 1: But sometimes it's like it's so funny. Um, I blocked
Speaker 1: so many key words on Instagram, So even try to
Speaker 1: leave a certain word, it's knock onna you got fat blocked?
Speaker 1: No No, So like the um the biggest thing, Wait,
Speaker 1: you can block words and I have a list, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're like if you try to comment, but um, so ever,
Speaker 1: since I became like this internet person, I don't know,
Speaker 1: like they have always been obsessed with me not wearing
Speaker 1: a brawl. I just feel like, who fucking cares? Like
Speaker 1: I just like I have so many questions, so I
Speaker 1: had to I had to block the word boob sagging brawl.
Speaker 1: I've blocked all those words, and like even like the
Speaker 1: other weeks because like if I post something was like, oh,
Speaker 1: what blue tape are you wearing, I'm like, baby, it's gravity.
Speaker 1: Like they just always have a question about that. But
Speaker 1: like that's the thing. They'd be like, oh, he doesn't
Speaker 1: even have brawn or like I'm just like I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, why do y'all care so much about
Speaker 1: what somebody does for their body? I'm like And another
Speaker 1: thing too that I always laugh about. I'm like, at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, everything I post is for
Speaker 1: a check. So it's just like what you're saying does
Speaker 1: not bother me. The checks, Like I'm getting paid, like
Speaker 1: you know to do this, Like this is you know
Speaker 1: what we're here for. So I just I've a long
Speaker 1: time ago. I'm just like just so thankful that like
Speaker 1: the place I used to be in maybe like ten
Speaker 1: twelve years ago. It's just like that ship does not
Speaker 1: even bother me. Now it doesn't phase me, And I'm
Speaker 1: just like, damn, I'm just so this is good. I
Speaker 1: used to be like kind of just like really just
Speaker 1: into all the like, oh my god, they're talking about me.
Speaker 1: I was like, I can never be famous, Like I
Speaker 1: just want the money. I don't really care about, you know,
Speaker 1: being being famous, because it's like it can bother you,
Speaker 1: like it's what you're mental sometimes, especially like you know,
Speaker 1: when that's what you do for a living. So so
Speaker 1: all right, we have to like they're telling this like
Speaker 1: y'all need to be more active on social y'all, and
Speaker 1: me and AJ are just you got to not social
Speaker 1: media people. But right, do you ever feel like a
Speaker 1: slave to it? I'm already starting to feel like a slave.
Speaker 1: May not, but there are times when I'm just like
Speaker 1: I want to take like I want to take like
Speaker 1: a week off. And do you even say I wanted
Speaker 1: to take a week off on Instagram? It's crazy because
Speaker 1: that's that's a long time, you know. It's like for
Speaker 1: all the really jump out the algorithm after a week
Speaker 1: probably well, like I remember, I did it once and
Speaker 1: it kind of helped my GID. This was a while ago.
Speaker 1: But it's just like when you work with different brands
Speaker 1: and then say you okay, like for one brand, like
Speaker 1: say that you have to post eight times a month,
Speaker 1: and then if you take off like, you know, a week,
Speaker 1: it's like you're you're pushing your work back, which is
Speaker 1: also going to negatively impact the way that you get paid.
Speaker 1: But yet sometimes I'm just like fuck this ship. I
Speaker 1: just need a break. I just wanted to detach, Like
Speaker 1: I remember, I deleted the Instagram map off my phone,
Speaker 1: like I just didn't want to see Instagram because like
Speaker 1: we just get so consumed in it. It's like you
Speaker 1: have to really make like a conscious effort to be
Speaker 1: like you know, that's why I had don't follow like
Speaker 1: a lot of the you know, the blogs. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't like consume this. I wanted to just start
Speaker 1: surround and like my feet with people that I admire,
Speaker 1: people who motivate me. And once I kind of, you know,
Speaker 1: change that mindset a few years ago, Like it worked,
Speaker 1: but yeah, you do become a slave to it because
Speaker 1: it's like everyone social media in some shape form or
Speaker 1: fashion like it's part of like, you know, our job. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: And it also builds a false narrative in my opinion,
Speaker 1: because yeah, it's just like not real life. People are
Speaker 1: posting hyperlife moments all the time and that's it. Like
Speaker 1: even like when you go out if y'all posting, y'all
Speaker 1: like and as soon as the camera go out, I'm
Speaker 1: just quiet smoking. Who God, nobody's in sections talking right.
Speaker 1: Hate that so, especially living in Atlanta, like child, I
Speaker 1: have seen. I've seen it all out here and it's superficial. Oh,
Speaker 1: Atlanta is the worst, y'all. Don't even I don't even
Speaker 1: feel like Atlanta have fun when they go out. I
Speaker 1: feel like everybody just go out to look good and
Speaker 1: just look at each other. This is a credit card number, careful, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but no, you're the false narrative thing. That's I think.
Speaker 1: It's like I've always just been just overly authentic with
Speaker 1: my brand, and that's I think. You know, I always
Speaker 1: kind of wanted to be like that that big sister,
Speaker 1: like you know, hey girl, I'd be like hey, fat
Speaker 1: Shanista's So then it's like when I see you know,
Speaker 1: as Instagram has has changed, especially living in this wicked city.
Speaker 1: It's like I just see so much on just like damn,
Speaker 1: I'm like, y'all be on Instagram with the aps and
Speaker 1: the cars, y'all be in Miami. Y'all don't even have
Speaker 1: nowhere to live. Oh and we forgot about this and
Speaker 1: stupid and that news. Now you can buy your blue
Speaker 1: check or Instagram okay for fourteen ninety. Like I don't
Speaker 1: want it. I wanted. I tried to go through like
Speaker 1: that process like before, but like Instagram was so strict
Speaker 1: about that, like you had to be published and you know,
Speaker 1: in articles, and I was trying to, you know, do stuff.
Speaker 1: So then that's when I learned people was like buying
Speaker 1: their way into Forbes and all that. I know, the
Speaker 1: people who paid ten grand for a blue check, it's
Speaker 1: probably pissed off like month, but now you can be verified.
Speaker 1: I just don't understand, Like I mean, I feel like
Speaker 1: that used to be something that, like you know, it
Speaker 1: did validate, like your accolades. But now the fact that
Speaker 1: you can buy it, I don't even want it. I
Speaker 1: don't want it no more. I don't want it, like
Speaker 1: I think they only they still only extended to certain people.
Speaker 1: Also though I don't think just anybody still can just
Speaker 1: purchase the blue check. I definitely don't. Yeah. I saw
Speaker 1: pop of them, like you know, like Instagram or whatever
Speaker 1: saying that it was offering it. But I was just like,
Speaker 1: I didn't get no email, Like you gotta email. I'm like, girl,
Speaker 1: I don't want that, right, that's just buying followers too though,
Speaker 1: like buying a bunch of fill and it's always it
Speaker 1: is obvious. Yeah you got ninety thousand followers. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: not your engagement don't match niggah, right, I just everyone
Speaker 1: just has this need to just to be needed and
Speaker 1: just on Instagram or whatever social media you're on. I'm
Speaker 1: just like, but it's all about people wanting to be loved.
Speaker 1: That's what it bull is that what it is that love?
Speaker 1: To me, that's not real love. Like I have more
Speaker 1: fulfillment from people in my real life, Like I don't
Speaker 1: need validation from social media tonight. Fortune that everyone is
Speaker 1: just not like that. They want to seem like you know,
Speaker 1: they're popping they got that's the mitaverse. Like you could
Speaker 1: be somebody different online, Like I have a tough time
Speaker 1: with that because I am the same person online that
Speaker 1: I am in real life, right, yeah, like I can't
Speaker 1: be nobody else. That was like I think that was
Speaker 1: probably like the one of the most difficult things about
Speaker 1: just kind of navigating like social media and even like
Speaker 1: social media friendships. Like when I first moved out here,
Speaker 1: I was just so excited to meet like I was, Oh,
Speaker 1: there's all these other girls who are plus eyes, are influencers,
Speaker 1: you know, they got businesses. And then I just really
Speaker 1: and then when you really get down to the nitty gritty,
Speaker 1: it was like it was this one girl. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Like she really was just trying to
Speaker 1: like steal my whole personality in my life. And the
Speaker 1: dudes I was talking to and stuff. And I always
Speaker 1: because people always say when you move to Atlanta, you're
Speaker 1: gonna learn your one Atlanta lesson, and I was like,
Speaker 1: that was my Atlanta lesson. I was like, these girls
Speaker 1: are crazy, Like they don't they just want to be
Speaker 1: your friend, to figure out why your light shine so bright?
Speaker 1: Like why is she fobbing? Why like why are these
Speaker 1: dudes doing this for her? Why is she going here?
Speaker 1: Like why is this brand working with her? And I
Speaker 1: think that's like one of the green night things about
Speaker 1: me it's just like I'm just overly genuine. So it's
Speaker 1: like sometimes I'm just like, damn. People really don't do
Speaker 1: have bad intentions, right, So I'm just like damn. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm the city really taught me a lot, Thank you, Alanta.
Speaker 1: But do you do you want to stay in Atlanta?
Speaker 1: That is like the big question. I Um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I've been here since June twenty nineteen, but I used to.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been coming to Atlanta for like years before.
Speaker 1: They'd like to hang out, party and all of that.
Speaker 1: This Atlanta pre COVID was great during COVID. Post COVID
Speaker 1: is trash. Like it's just everybody moved here because we
Speaker 1: were open. You know, we we had lockdown like Max
Speaker 1: we had that movie. We had lockdown for like two
Speaker 1: and a half months and then everything was, you know,
Speaker 1: like we was open like it was it was lit. Atlanta,
Speaker 1: Texas about in Florida were the only people that was
Speaker 1: really doing stuff. But I don't know, like I feel
Speaker 1: like this is not a city for love whatsoever. You
Speaker 1: was not gonna find your man out here. If you
Speaker 1: find a man, he already gotta he got a wife,
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. He might have a man too, wild like, no,
Speaker 1: Atlanta is a man too. When I moved to Atlanta.
Speaker 1: When I moved to Atlanta back in two thousand and ten,
Speaker 1: I went on, I'm actually on a date with a
Speaker 1: man and he were still good friends to this day too.
Speaker 1: I'm on a date with him and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: Alta Lana ain't a place to find a mate. He's like,
Speaker 1: why why do we here? Then I'm trying to mate, nigga,
Speaker 1: why are we here? Let me tell y'all story. When
Speaker 1: I was living here, I went I met this guy.
Speaker 1: He was like, let's go to the movies. We went
Speaker 1: to the movies. Right, We're pulling up in the to
Speaker 1: the movie theater. We're parking the space. A car pulls
Speaker 1: right beside us, real fans, right, And I was like,
Speaker 1: you ain't got no bitches. He's like, it ain't no
Speaker 1: telling what. I'm not about to do that because it's
Speaker 1: like three type of men in Atlanta. You have the
Speaker 1: homeless ones. You have the not so heterosexual ones, and
Speaker 1: then you have the ones that got their shit together
Speaker 1: and they have their pick out of how many different women?
Speaker 1: Because and then you got the thing. You got the
Speaker 1: Africans that's a whole different song. What the Africans be doing.
Speaker 1: The Africans should love you right, No, And I think
Speaker 1: that's like that's another thing too. It's kind of like
Speaker 1: I found I mean, I'm sorry, I don't date black
Speaker 1: American men anymore. I'm not like I'm not against I
Speaker 1: just I just haven't dated one and so long, like
Speaker 1: I just don't want to do especially being here. I mean,
Speaker 1: like a long time ago, I didn't like foreign guys.
Speaker 1: But then when I started like meeting like you know,
Speaker 1: coming to Atlanta, I like meeting my dream coming to America.
Speaker 1: No I didn't. I mean from like just having like
Speaker 1: girlfriends up to like who are African? I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I mean that's what they like. But then it's kind
Speaker 1: of like you know, you go where you're celebrating, not
Speaker 1: where you're tolerating. It's like I didn't have to to
Speaker 1: deal with like like just bs no more. It's like
Speaker 1: it's just their culture and their nature to be to
Speaker 1: be a real man. But the downside about the ship
Speaker 1: is they cheat, Like hell, they might have a wife
Speaker 1: in Africa a wife and deLuce a girlfriend. Like it's
Speaker 1: a lot these niggas and these American niggas, they just
Speaker 1: and the nigga got ship. But dick and do rag
Speaker 1: for you, that's it. And a pull up bar bitch,
Speaker 1: that's it. And that's why I'm just like, it's like
Speaker 1: it's just damned if you damned if you don't. But
Speaker 1: it's like it's just funny because I remember, like, um,
Speaker 1: it's like this little this blog people go and talk
Speaker 1: shit about people. They were like, oh, she only date um,
Speaker 1: she only liked Nigerians because they like big girls. I'm
Speaker 1: just like, bitch, why do you fucking get jealous? Right,
Speaker 1: I'm like, boll, I mean like they treat their women well.
Speaker 1: But I was just like, why would I just you know,
Speaker 1: I know, I know my word. But it's like if
Speaker 1: there's somebody who likes me, you know, because of me,
Speaker 1: it's like I don't have to feel like uncomfortable, you
Speaker 1: know sometimes even like being a la like I have
Speaker 1: like my group of friends, you know, they the Instagram girls,
Speaker 1: bottle girls, or they go out and I'd just be like,
Speaker 1: I don't really have nothing to comm with y'all. It's
Speaker 1: like I like y'all and everything, but it's like the
Speaker 1: struggles y'all be dealing with and I'd be cracking up too.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, we all go through the same ship here.
Speaker 1: I'm just like all date these rappers and these athletes,
Speaker 1: and you still be having the same the same drama.
Speaker 1: So that's why I was just like, and that was
Speaker 1: one of the thing that they realize. I was like,
Speaker 1: it an't got nothing to do what you look like,
Speaker 1: because everyone is still dealing with the same shit, you know,
Speaker 1: from dudes. And it's like, yeah, you know, you may
Speaker 1: get a little more slack for being a big girl.
Speaker 1: And I see, like, you know the things that like
Speaker 1: other girls go through just from like the stories that
Speaker 1: they tell me and just like crazy stuff I just
Speaker 1: read like on the internet. I'm just like, damn, he
Speaker 1: did that. But it's just like it's just so many
Speaker 1: stereotypes like income tax time, and I'm like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I just I tell people all the time. I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I can't relate. I have never related to like half
Speaker 1: the ship that I've had. I always have to pay right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like I'm like, y'all, yeah, how much time I got,
Speaker 1: But I got a girl to somebody. But no, it's
Speaker 1: just like a lot of things like I can't relate
Speaker 1: to that. So I'm like, if you want to call
Speaker 1: it what that girl told me on Twitter, She's like,
Speaker 1: you have pretty plus size privilege. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll be the president of that club then, baby, sorry,
Speaker 1: I can't. I'm right. They just always try to find
Speaker 1: a way to buy stuff. And then like you know,
Speaker 1: there's like a phrase called um small fats and big fats,
Speaker 1: like if you're on the smaller side of like being
Speaker 1: plus side. I'm just like, bitch wanma burger. It's just
Speaker 1: so many different things. I just didn't I just didn't know.
Speaker 1: I'm just sitting here thinking in my friend like I'm
Speaker 1: just out here just existing, just you know. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I put myself as a black woman before I put
Speaker 1: myself as a flat black woman, and here y'all go
Speaker 1: trying to say, oh, you're like a smaller fat. I'm like, girl,
Speaker 1: please stop stop stop trying to box me in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like like what is really good? What's going on? Dyn though, know,
Speaker 1: like that's your community. I don't need that right going.
Speaker 1: My sister, she's a big girl, and she does not
Speaker 1: like like you were saying, like men who fetishize bigger women.
Speaker 1: She likes men who don't like big women, like she
Speaker 1: feels like she's converting them. It's just always something. I mean,
Speaker 1: it is so funny because it's like I, um, I've
Speaker 1: dated guys or like just met guys when on dates
Speaker 1: for guys whatever this term we call it, Like, oh,
Speaker 1: I never talked to a big girl before, and I
Speaker 1: was just like, I ain't about to be yo guinea big.
Speaker 1: Like I just feel like when you when you have
Speaker 1: to like express that, it just it just turns. It's
Speaker 1: like automatic, just turn off, you know, And I'm just like,
Speaker 1: don't say that. Like I never reminds me of when
Speaker 1: I was younger, because now brown girls are popping, But
Speaker 1: when I was younger, niggas used to be like you
Speaker 1: pretty for a brown girl. That shit used to irk
Speaker 1: my nerves so bad, Like what the fuck does that mean? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And it very similar to that, yeah, pretty for a
Speaker 1: big girl, and I'd be cracking like, oh, you have
Speaker 1: such a nice face. I'm like, nigga, I got nice
Speaker 1: everything like what you're talking about. It's just it's weird.
Speaker 1: And then even like, um, like guys who try to
Speaker 1: like secretly date big girls. I remember like a while ago, oh,
Speaker 1: It was a show The Game, where one of the
Speaker 1: football players he was like secretly dating a big reporter
Speaker 1: but didn't want to be seen out with her. He
Speaker 1: liked her wait a whole lot. Oh that was a
Speaker 1: show called The Game, right, Yeah? Was it? Oh? Was that?
Speaker 1: I remember that? Yeah? And I just felt like, Damn,
Speaker 1: I'm like, how can you just love this person? But
Speaker 1: you just can't you know, you can't be seen like,
Speaker 1: you know, like out with them. I mean, I remember
Speaker 1: I went through my whole little athlete phase when I
Speaker 1: lived in Charlotte. Thank God for deliverance, but Jesus, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm just like, how could you, like, you know,
Speaker 1: how would you want to be around this person only
Speaker 1: behind closed doors? Like and it's like there's some girls
Speaker 1: you know, like they're okay with that, but it's like
Speaker 1: that doesn't number too your confidence, It doesn't number two,
Speaker 1: like your self esteem, your mentality, because like it really
Speaker 1: starts to fuck with you. It's like, damn, like you
Speaker 1: can only try to come over here and come see me,
Speaker 1: or you know, pull up oh content garage, come do this.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not doing that of that. It's like
Speaker 1: I think now that I'm older, I mean, I would
Speaker 1: never go for that, but there have been times I
Speaker 1: just kind of be like, you know because like you
Speaker 1: just like you like this person so much and y'all
Speaker 1: like y'are having good sex, like you're having fun. But
Speaker 1: it's just like Dann, we can't even go, like we
Speaker 1: can't do nothing. I'm like, I'm a bad bitch. Like
Speaker 1: so I'm just like no, and I'm like, girl, stand up,
Speaker 1: get released the shackles of the sneaking of being nothing.
Speaker 1: If he can't celebrate you, girl, you got like no.
Speaker 1: Like another that was kind of like that just right
Speaker 1: with Queenland movie. I Love seen that and so on?
Speaker 1: Was that was that like the thing like because she
Speaker 1: was big, he was like not public with her, and
Speaker 1: she wasn't the other girl like the other girl was
Speaker 1: like slim and cute, and I mean, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's just like just just like talking about these topics,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, damn. Like when I was like younger,
Speaker 1: like twenty to like twenty three, I just like I
Speaker 1: remember like just kind of like things like that, but
Speaker 1: it's just like now I'm just like I don't I
Speaker 1: don't experience that anymore. And I mean I feel like
Speaker 1: you know, for me to say that enemy I'm always
Speaker 1: speaking about like my own experience. But I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm just very unfortunate because I'm just like I don't
Speaker 1: know like how I could even be like mentally if
Speaker 1: I was still like in a situation like that. I'm like, like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? Ill? All right, y'all, we're gonna
Speaker 1: take a commercial break. Dumb story, So dumb bitch story,
Speaker 1: Which one do you want? You know, I'm like the
Speaker 1: best one, the best, the one that like really sticks
Speaker 1: out of my head. It's like this happened in November
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen. I'm like, to this day, I'm so pissed
Speaker 1: and like the person who's involved in the story. I
Speaker 1: saw him. He lives in like my Homeboys building. I
Speaker 1: was like, they live on the same floor. So I
Speaker 1: walked past him and I was looking so cute that
Speaker 1: day too, So I was like, oh, I knew like
Speaker 1: he kind of like remember who I was. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I was living in Charlotte, just dude like slit at
Speaker 1: my DMS or whatever, and he was just like, you know,
Speaker 1: just trying to talk to me, and that is just like, oh,
Speaker 1: like to you know, go to this page. He's cute.
Speaker 1: He'd be outside, like, you know, having fun. He dresses nice,
Speaker 1: okay whatever. So we're just chatting. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you should come to Atlanta, like, I'll take you out.
Speaker 1: We go to Gucci. I'm young at fuck, just stupid
Speaker 1: as fuck. So wait, how many years ago? Was that?
Speaker 1: Six years ago? No? I was. I was stupid and
Speaker 1: just real green back then. He was like, yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: buy you something out to dinner. We can we can
Speaker 1: go out. He was like, okay, so come to Atlanta.
Speaker 1: So I just throw them a little shit in my
Speaker 1: little Duffel bag. I had an all too. But the time,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm going eighty five, so I'm coming to Atlanta.
Speaker 1: Nigga was not answering this phone once you got here, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like like was not answering the phone, and
Speaker 1: I was just like WTF. I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I thought I was about to, like, you know, either
Speaker 1: stay with you like we're you know, like I had
Speaker 1: friends in like in Atlanta, but that's not what I
Speaker 1: came down here for wines and nine and here I
Speaker 1: am getting the Clunes, Like did you hear from him? Girl?
Speaker 1: I ain't done yet. So I was just trying to
Speaker 1: kill times I went, so I went and got my
Speaker 1: nails done. He still ain't answering the phone. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: what the fuck. So then at this point, like it's
Speaker 1: getting kind of late, I'm just like, all right, let
Speaker 1: me just go get a hotel like so I can
Speaker 1: just you know whatever. But then at this point, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, like where you're kind of like about to cry.
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm like calling my friend and she was like,
Speaker 1: first of all, bitch, why would you even do that?
Speaker 1: I was like, it's Atlanta. And then she was like okay,
Speaker 1: she said, so what we're gonna do? Said, you're gonna
Speaker 1: go to the hotel you brought close to go out? Right,
Speaker 1: she said, you got You're gonna go out, And at
Speaker 1: that time, like I wasn't really like going out like
Speaker 1: by myself. So I get to the hotel and that
Speaker 1: I said, I got a trip for this nigga. I
Speaker 1: called him from like the phone and like the hotel
Speaker 1: because it was like a four or four number, and
Speaker 1: he answered. I was just like, I was like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck? And he was like, man out here making
Speaker 1: this plague. Like so I'm like an hour I'm an hour.
Speaker 1: I have an hour outside of Atlanta, like my phone.
Speaker 1: I was just like, why the fuck would you tell
Speaker 1: me to come down here? EBT. I was like why
Speaker 1: tell me? But the thing I was just like you
Speaker 1: don't even like like making a play, like you know,
Speaker 1: like that's not anyways. So I don't even know what happened.
Speaker 1: I was just like, you know, what, fuck you. I
Speaker 1: ended up going out by myself. I was so mad
Speaker 1: because it's like I spent money coming down here and
Speaker 1: that's not what you know, that's how what I want
Speaker 1: to do. But it's like you always have right that
Speaker 1: always yeah, just just in case home without it. But
Speaker 1: I mean ended up being like a really good night
Speaker 1: because I went out to um it was some club.
Speaker 1: It's not even there no more. It's like over there
Speaker 1: there eleven forty five. I went out by myself. I
Speaker 1: was so scared. I had to just like my friend
Speaker 1: was like just get out of the car because I
Speaker 1: was in the car for like thirty minutes. It's scared.
Speaker 1: Just so whenever I get like really really really scared,
Speaker 1: I have to get drunk, like because when you drunk
Speaker 1: is just like you're like anything goes. So I just
Speaker 1: went to the bar. I had this really cute outfit
Speaker 1: on two. I was so cute that night and I
Speaker 1: to the bar and then it was like these this
Speaker 1: like these like big group of like it was like
Speaker 1: some Bigerian dudes like some girls. It was like come
Speaker 1: here and my cousin will love you. He's on his way.
Speaker 1: And then the guy and then it was so crazy,
Speaker 1: Like the dude I met that night, I still fuck
Speaker 1: with him like to this day. So I was just
Speaker 1: like I was supposed to be fuck you Phil, Yeah,
Speaker 1: fuck you yo. This is a gag okay, so I
Speaker 1: gotta kind of go back to because anyway, So it
Speaker 1: was like, what was that the drinking and smoking video
Speaker 1: with Future? I was just like watching the video and
Speaker 1: then he was in the video. I screamed so loud
Speaker 1: when I saw that, and I was just like, so,
Speaker 1: who is Oh, that's the nigga who hang with Future?
Speaker 1: You know him? You ain't with Future. I'm expecting some bullshit, right,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I was like look at me now, period.
Speaker 1: Do you have any dumb store you want to share? No?
Speaker 1: I don't have any recent ones. No, not recent, no
Speaker 1: recent dumb bit story. No, I don't get played in
Speaker 1: the last let me tell you how I felt played
Speaker 1: all right, So, as y'all know, I had my fire
Speaker 1: boys removed recently. This made me feel like I need
Speaker 1: a man, Like I need a man in my life
Speaker 1: or someone in my house, y'all. Like I was in
Speaker 1: so much pain I couldn't bend over. So after I
Speaker 1: used the bathroom, I had to pull my paintings up
Speaker 1: with a hang of y'all and pull my paintings up,
Speaker 1: And that was so humbling, and I was like, lord,
Speaker 1: I need what about like like lowering yourself to sit
Speaker 1: on the toilet? Did that hurt too? Miserable? Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: like you definitely wasn't supposed to be in the house
Speaker 1: by yourself. No, I wasn't. Yeah, you gotta have a caretaker. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my mom was there for the first two days, but
Speaker 1: she has I'll be sick. I'm like, take care of me.
Speaker 1: But I mean that even if you had a man, like,
Speaker 1: they don't know what to do. You stole me friend,
Speaker 1: Yeah you can kind of like go yeah right, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my story for the week. Don't have no more
Speaker 1: surgeries without a man. We need somebody helped timmy draws
Speaker 1: put a bandit on my booty lea. Tell everybody where
Speaker 1: they can find you, plug anything you have, Yes, y'all.
Speaker 1: You guys can find me on Instagram at me or
Speaker 1: the Boss YouTube at xo me or the Boss um
Speaker 1: TikTok xo me or the Boss and my website me
Speaker 1: at the Boss dot com All Things Me, Big Boss.
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday
Speaker 1: on the iHeartRadio Apple wherever the fuck you get your podcast.
Speaker 1: That just your co host aj Holiday two point oh.
Speaker 1: Y'all listen. The Black Effect Podcast Festival is coming up
Speaker 1: April twenty second at the pull Meyyard. Go to www
Speaker 1: dot Black Effect dot com Slash Podcast Festival and get
Speaker 1: your tickets today. And if you visit our podcast stage
Speaker 1: we Talk Back Podcast, we do have a free ticket
Speaker 1: giveaway for two free tickets. Yeah, so you need to go.
Speaker 1: And we need some participants bitches, message us. We need
Speaker 1: some participants for some of our segments. Also, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be so much fun. I'm excited. You gotta pull up.
Speaker 1: You'll sure every twenty second y'all. It's me tam Bam
Speaker 1: Official tam Bam on Instagram. Y'all follow me I love
Speaker 1: y'all so much. I don't know if I tell y'all
Speaker 1: enough for Nobody told y'all today, but I love y'all.
Speaker 1: Thank y'all for tuning. Man, you love take your fuck, y'all.
Speaker 1: I'm just like I love y'all too. I appreciate you
Speaker 1: and she don't love y'all right the way I do.
Speaker 1: I thank y'apportuning me. Man. We'll see you next time,
Speaker 1: and remember to speak now and never hold your pizza bitch,
Speaker 1: because it's something we're unpicking our backs right. Bye bye