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Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who

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Speaker 1: talks back. What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in

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Speaker 1: for a new episode that We Talk Back, a show

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Speaker 1: dedicated to you, niggas and these holes. It's your co

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Speaker 1: host aj Holiday. What's up, Tam, Hey, y'all and everybody

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Speaker 1: in between you don't period? Yes, hey the rest of you. Ya,

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Speaker 1: Thank y'all for tuning in again. It's me Tampa. We

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Speaker 1: got my friend on the show, Me and the Ball.

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Speaker 1: Take Me and the Boss, okay. Mia is an influencer.

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Speaker 1: She is a super duper serial entrepreneur. She's a plus

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Speaker 1: size model. As y'all can see, she's fucking beautiful, and

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Speaker 1: she is the creator of one of your favorite blogs,

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Speaker 1: Diary of a Fashionista fashion I don't have it anymore. No,

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Speaker 1: it's just me at boss dot com now period, just

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Speaker 1: me the box dot com. Yeah, I got rid of that,

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Speaker 1: I go like a while ago. So all right, tell

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Speaker 1: our listeners all about you? What you do? Why are

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Speaker 1: you so sad? Yeah? So, I mean I started off

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Speaker 1: blogging back in like two thousand and eight when I

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Speaker 1: was in college. I studied journalism and mass communications, and

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Speaker 1: I did not want to be like, you know, a

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Speaker 1: typical like news reporter, hard news. Like my mom thought

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Speaker 1: I was going to school to be a news anchor,

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Speaker 1: Like I just killed all her dreams. But I just

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Speaker 1: always wanted to work for like Harper's Bazaar. It was

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Speaker 1: just really cool magazine back in the day called Swede.

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Speaker 1: It was just always fashion and writing and then just

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Speaker 1: being you know, a plus size girl, it was just nothing.

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Speaker 1: You know, I didn't have any like anything I could

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Speaker 1: kind of resonate too. So I was like, I'm about

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Speaker 1: to just figure this out on my own, and I

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Speaker 1: started a blog. It was like really high fashion at first,

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Speaker 1: and then I remember this girl, she's really popular in

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Speaker 1: Her name is Gabby Fresh. She interviewed me on her

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Speaker 1: blog and I was like, you know what, I need

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Speaker 1: to start talking about stuff that actually relates to me.

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Speaker 1: So then that's where I decided. I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be a plus sized blogger. And you know,

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Speaker 1: this is before Instagram. This is like between that air

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Speaker 1: of like my Space and Facebook. I just only had

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Speaker 1: Facebook to kind of promote myself and then my blog

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Speaker 1: just started taking off and taking off, and then when

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Speaker 1: Instagram came about, I think that's like, you know, just

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Speaker 1: when everything just kind of started falling into place, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, dang, you know, it's twenty twenty three, fifteen

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Speaker 1: years later, and the Internet just allowed me to do

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Speaker 1: so much cool stuff. Fifteen years. When's the last time

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Speaker 1: he worked for somebody? So um twenty eighteen March twenty eighteen,

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Speaker 1: that was like my last real job. I worked for

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Speaker 1: Sprint and I just went to work one day and

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Speaker 1: I was just like I'm this literally went to work.

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Speaker 1: I just came back from Atlanta and I had like

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Speaker 1: a great weekend. I hated my manager, Fuck you Freddy.

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Speaker 1: Um you're saying people name, but I already is a

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Speaker 1: huge fan of the show Fuck you Freddie. But no, Like,

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Speaker 1: I just went to work one day and I was

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Speaker 1: just like I had no plan, like at all. I

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Speaker 1: knew it had like a certain amount of money rolling

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Speaker 1: in for like the next two months, but I had

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Speaker 1: quit Sprint and then I was like, hey, We're gonna

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Speaker 1: be an influencer full time. I remember like May twenty eighteen.

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Speaker 1: I was like the first time I paid like all

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Speaker 1: my bills was just like influencer money, and I was crying.

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Speaker 1: I was like, damn, I could do this like for real. Um,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, it's just it's been a long road and

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, dang, you know, I'm all the stuff

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Speaker 1: I really wanted to do, like in some shape form

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Speaker 1: or fashion. It came true, you know, like I didn't

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Speaker 1: write for like a fashion magazine, but I still got

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Speaker 1: to fulfillment doing things like my own way, telling my

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Speaker 1: own story. We got fifty million questions for you, but

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Speaker 1: I'm ready the first we gotta get into our stupid

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Speaker 1: internet news. Yes, please have a slip of that simply. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited to try. If I saw this like

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Speaker 1: on Twitter. Okay, let's let's se let's see. Hey, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it takes just like the regular like lemonade this,

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Speaker 1: but it's gonna get you. It does in a real way.

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Speaker 1: Did you give me a little a little buzz? All right?

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Speaker 1: Stupid internet news? All right, So I gotta start with

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Speaker 1: Jonathan made my husband in some properly please missus major?

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Speaker 1: Miss okay, missus major. Do you want to do the

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Speaker 1: story about now? Go ahead? You can go ahead, you know,

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Speaker 1: because I did a public statement. He's in some trouble

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Speaker 1: this weekend. This past weekend. Um, he was accused of

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Speaker 1: assaulting his real girlfriend. I don't think he was there,

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Speaker 1: According to DMZ law what is dmz D. According to

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Speaker 1: t m Z Excuse Me, law enforcement says that the

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Speaker 1: alleged victim accusing Jonathan Major's assault assault is his girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: The couple was reportedly in a taxi when the argument started.

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Speaker 1: They reportedly got into the altercation after his girlfriend called

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Speaker 1: another woman texting the actors and who was the other

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Speaker 1: woman that was you? Yes? Why you mean? I wonder

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Speaker 1: who was? I think? Because listen, I imagine that this

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Speaker 1: man has not gotten attention from black women. Did you

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Speaker 1: see as Yeah, it's a glow up. It's a major clone, right, Listen.

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Speaker 1: I love Jonathan Majors. I be posting him on my

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Speaker 1: story like that's and people were actually sending me like

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Speaker 1: this clip these uh articles like yes, like this is

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Speaker 1: my real nigga, Like yes, I had a persement. He's

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Speaker 1: that right, he is. But I just can't believe he's

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Speaker 1: like white girls. Well, yes, I think him until recently,

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Speaker 1: and now he's getting the attention of the women he

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Speaker 1: probably really wanted in the first place. He guilty, He

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Speaker 1: is not guilty. It's but he was the one that

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Speaker 1: called the police. And he called the police. Yes, but

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Speaker 1: why he walking out there saying the black man guilty?

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Speaker 1: What happened? Why? But why he walking out of court

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Speaker 1: with a hat, a shirt or a hat that said

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Speaker 1: freedom or something on it, like freedom we all want

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Speaker 1: for me. But he's maybe he's done with these white women.

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Speaker 1: He about to come on home to the Motherland. That's

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Speaker 1: what it is. Come on, we like you now, we

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Speaker 1: like you now. Like black men, he gives real like slaves. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's that kind of fun. I've never seen black men

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Speaker 1: in a frenzy like this when it comes to this

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Speaker 1: black man. For whatever reason, I saw black men condemning

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Speaker 1: him already, Like, y'all remember the black guy who got

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Speaker 1: murdered by his white girlfriend in Miami? Was that last

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Speaker 1: he was my dream? Like yeah, And he had spent

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Speaker 1: a lot of time disparage and black women on Twitter

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Speaker 1: from high school. You know, black men were even like

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Speaker 1: coming to you know, back, come to back for him.

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Speaker 1: But Jonathan Majors is like, y'all really hate this nigga

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Speaker 1: for what reason? Is he that fine? Just that a man? Fine?

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Speaker 1: Unlessen we can move on. He is that fine. He's

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Speaker 1: like his nose spread all the way across the space,

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Speaker 1: A Bell peppered, I love bell Peppers. We shall see what.

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Speaker 1: All right, there's a clip that's out. I know y'all

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Speaker 1: saw it. I know y'all saw it. That a guy

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Speaker 1: went around. I don't know if he has a podcast,

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Speaker 1: but he was outside with his video camera. But he

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Speaker 1: went around asking people did they want to get a

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Speaker 1: dinner with Soldier Boy or two hundred and fifty dollars

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Speaker 1: with food stamps, and everybody, everybody that they posted, because

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Speaker 1: I don't imagine everybody said two hundred fifty dollars in

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Speaker 1: food stamps, but everybody that he posted was like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: who was Soldier Boy? I get two fifty dollars? They

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Speaker 1: playing big break, they playing him. I would definitely go

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Speaker 1: to dinner with Soldier Boy. Yeah, Like, come on, he

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Speaker 1: was a major like marketing guru in middle school. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if people realize that it now, like he

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Speaker 1: really got shit popping on YouTube for a lot of artists,

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Speaker 1: and they disrespected him. I know, you look a little

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Speaker 1: like crackheadish now, but Soldier Boy always been a ship

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Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, I would definitely I would

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Speaker 1: have went to dinner with him two five hundred bally

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Speaker 1: specifus fuck, you gonna get a card in the eggs milk, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, I get what I would have. I would

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Speaker 1: have went to the dinner just so I could laugh.

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Speaker 1: I just think he's like a character, Like, I know,

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Speaker 1: he's gonna smell like cigarettes in there, right, ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: be telling us about how he shot up some ships.

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Speaker 1: I was like, he was the first person to do this.

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Speaker 1: Was like, okay, I'm here for it's a lot. I

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Speaker 1: think majority of people would have went to dinner with

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Speaker 1: soldier boys. Yeah it was two hundred fifty dollars of

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Speaker 1: food Sam. Yeah. They was definitely playing, Like, yeah, stop

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Speaker 1: playing with soldier I got a funny story. So this

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Speaker 1: guy used to date uh maybe I don't know. Maybe

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Speaker 1: five years after we met, he admitted to me that

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Speaker 1: he actually hacked my Facebook page and he was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you was in that message and soldier boy And I'm

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Speaker 1: like what, I'm driving from Chicago back to Saint Louis, Like,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck are you talking about? I'm going years

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Speaker 1: back and my Facebook messages at this time, I'm not

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Speaker 1: even on Facebook, but I still have it. While I'm driving.

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Speaker 1: I'm in two thousand. I don't know ten at this

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Speaker 1: point in messages, and I see a message to Soldier

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Speaker 1: Boy that said, Soldier boy, I love you so much.

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Speaker 1: Pitcher was my niece. My niece massage Facebook, but a

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Speaker 1: nigga that hacked my Facebook. But he was like, yeah

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Speaker 1: you was. He was. I ain't trying to power that

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Speaker 1: pussy for Soldier boy, Like why first of all, why

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Speaker 1: did you hack my shit? I don't even want to

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Speaker 1: see my Facebook messages from that time, and he had

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Speaker 1: to have hacked my shit like when he just met me.

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Speaker 1: Have y'all ever been in like a celebrity's dms Kanye.

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Speaker 1: I'm always telling him to call me like nigga called

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Speaker 1: me so we can talk about how I give you

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Speaker 1: some advice. But he used to write me back, used

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Speaker 1: to message message with but ROSSI really write me back

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Speaker 1: though I was so in love with him like I was.

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Speaker 1: That's where my name came from, me and the Boss

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Speaker 1: because I wanted to talk about and I can't remember

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Speaker 1: why I was messaging. I think he was in town

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Speaker 1: I loved. I wanted to be a uh like like

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Speaker 1: the black Bottle girl because I just wanted that that

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Speaker 1: varsity jacket he was like, start posting, put it in

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Speaker 1: the work. I was like, Nigga sent me in the

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Speaker 1: Champagne right period. I just wanted the jacket. I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to post this ship. But Rick Ross, if you're listening,

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Speaker 1: this was I was. Yeah. I was definitely very very

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Speaker 1: young when that happened. When I jumped in there just

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Speaker 1: on some bullshit. I wasn't even serious. Ye I'm like, Nigga,

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Speaker 1: my birthday coming up? What's up? Yeah, same birthday. A

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Speaker 1: lot of need he needs some he needs some real guidance,

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Speaker 1: and he needs some real friends. So I just want

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Speaker 1: to be Kanye's friend. Ye want to be your friend.

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Speaker 1: So I just saw this come up. Aaron Hernandez's brother.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all remember that, the former NFL

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Speaker 1: player who actually committed suicide in prison after being convicted

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Speaker 1: of multiple murders. His brother apparently throw a brick through

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Speaker 1: ESPN's headquarters and with a note attached it says to

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Speaker 1: all media outlets, It's about time, y'all, It's about time

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Speaker 1: you all realize. He spelled it r E A l

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Speaker 1: E y E s that theft realize YEA. He liked

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Speaker 1: third Eye in the middle of the forehead, like y'all

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Speaker 1: niggas need to realize the effect media has on all

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Speaker 1: family members. Since you're a worldwide leader, maybe you could

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Speaker 1: lead how media and messages are delivered brick by brick,

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Speaker 1: Clean it up, yours truly, Dennis ja Hernandez. So, of

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Speaker 1: course he's been arrested. Well, he admitted to being at ESPN,

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Speaker 1: but didn't wish to speak about the incident. Dennis was

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Speaker 1: advised to stay off ESPN's campus or he could get

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Speaker 1: arrest Oh. Actually, so he wasn't arrested yet. You could

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Speaker 1: get arrested or charge of trust passet. They feel bad

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Speaker 1: for him. I'm kind of that's kind of sad that

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Speaker 1: whole situation is all think he committed suicide. It's just

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Speaker 1: rather that whole story just when it came out, you know,

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Speaker 1: because that, you know what, that brings up a conversation

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Speaker 1: about CTE and things like that. Because there was a

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Speaker 1: guy in Charlotte just recently last year who he was

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Speaker 1: an x NFL player. I don't know his name, I

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Speaker 1: can't think of it, but a newly x NFL player

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Speaker 1: who has some mental illness all of a sudden, and

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Speaker 1: he killed his doctor. His doctor's wife and their two

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Speaker 1: grandkids and the housekeeper. Yeah. Oh and people working on

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Speaker 1: the air condition outside. Wait, I saw this in the news.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. I didn't know that was in Charlotte though. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like four meal, like right outside of Charlotte. And it

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Speaker 1: just brings up a conversation about CT and what there

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Speaker 1: was boys putting their body through to get that money. Man,

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Speaker 1: Because do you think an Hernandez would have been the

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Speaker 1: way he was had he not been in I think

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Speaker 1: did you watched that documentary? He was a killer? Yes?

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Speaker 1: And was he a killer before he got into n

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Speaker 1: And when you add money to ego and stuff like that,

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Speaker 1: people get kind of wild. I feel like oftentimes celebrities

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Speaker 1: people and in sports and stuff like that, they kind

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Speaker 1: of go under the radar. They are not exempt from

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Speaker 1: being serial killers and sociopaths and psychopaths. They're not exempt,

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Speaker 1: but nobody's looking at them, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: So they actually have the means to get away with

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Speaker 1: a lot of the ship. They could be serial killers,

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Speaker 1: but nobody looking at them. Right. I remember it was

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Speaker 1: like a decapitated body found in Hollywood Hills, like Middle

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Speaker 1: Eastern person, Who the fuck did it. Nobody ever got

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Speaker 1: arrested for it, but they just when you got a

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Speaker 1: bunch of money, you're sitting around and thinking like, damn,

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Speaker 1: what have I not done? Right? But that's crazy? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Is that how we're end in stupid internet news with murder? Murder? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break on that note. It'll be

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Speaker 1: right back. Okay, guys, we're back and we're not talking

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Speaker 1: about that crazy. I want to talk to you Mia. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what's all right? So let's talk about relationships and being

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Speaker 1: full figure? All right, let's talk all right? So first

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Speaker 1: let me ask you, do you like the word full

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Speaker 1: figure or do you prefer something? I feel like there's

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Speaker 1: just so many words that people have just added. I mean,

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Speaker 1: plus eze is coool. I know, I don't. Some people

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Speaker 1: don't like that. Some people don't like the word fat.

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Speaker 1: I thought that's what full figure. It's just too much.

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Speaker 1: It's too much talking, like, there's too many words plus size.

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Speaker 1: So what you would be? Okay? If I said fat?

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's offensive. If I'm fighting, if see

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Speaker 1: it's it's like it's like one of those things it

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Speaker 1: has like a it can have like a positive and

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Speaker 1: a negative, like connotation. But plus size is just like

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Speaker 1: you know, the word society has deemed you know, like

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Speaker 1: so we go with that one plus size versus full figure.

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Speaker 1: You know, people start saying voluptuous and all that other stuff.

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Speaker 1: Just stop. It's just too much. You're doing too much,

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Speaker 1: too much. So do you feel like have you ever

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Speaker 1: felt like being plus size has hindered you from like

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Speaker 1: having successful relationships, are finding a partner forever? I mean

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Speaker 1: in some aspects. I mean, for the record, I get

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Speaker 1: niggas period period. But for the record, we all consider

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Speaker 1: plus size based on the BMI and all child women.

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Speaker 1: But um I always that's so when it comes to

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Speaker 1: like that, like I know, like people always say like

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Speaker 1: plus size day. I remember, like they tried to kill

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Speaker 1: me on Twitter and they told me I had pretty

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Speaker 1: plus sized privilege. I'm like, y'all just adding labels stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a whole the topic. But I I mean I

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Speaker 1: feel like, yes, being a plus sized woman, there are

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Speaker 1: things you know that you I had to learn, Like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm thirty four now, I'm not everybody's type,

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Speaker 1: just like everybody isn't my type. But I just feel

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Speaker 1: like it all kind of goes by, like you know,

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Speaker 1: how you present stuff. I remember I had like this

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Speaker 1: guy tell me I was like trying to talk to

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Speaker 1: his frin. He was like, oh, he don't like big girls,

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Speaker 1: and I was like fuck you. Then, like I mean, okay,

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Speaker 1: whoop do you do? Like it wasn't gonna hurt my feelings.

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Speaker 1: But I think, like maybe when I was like in

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Speaker 1: middle school, high school with a little bit different, but

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Speaker 1: I mean just now just kind of coming to know

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Speaker 1: like what I like, I can see the the issues

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Speaker 1: people have and just because I feel like maybe I

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Speaker 1: mean I'm not in a successful relationship, but I mean

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Speaker 1: I've been able to like navigate dating. You just have

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Speaker 1: to date who likes you. So I think that's the

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Speaker 1: thing that people have to also understand too, is like

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Speaker 1: you can't get mad if like a guy that you're

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Speaker 1: going after a girl you're going after if they don't

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Speaker 1: like you based off your physical appearance. I mean, because

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Speaker 1: because I can be like, you know, I don't like skinny,

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Speaker 1: light skin dudes. I like dark skinned guys, so soobody

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Speaker 1: could easily that's fine. That is a very nice guy.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I have my own his hair is really nice.

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Speaker 1: So it's like I think, like I see that, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the struggles and even like for myself sometimes

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Speaker 1: I'd just be like, Okay, what if I look different,

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Speaker 1: maybe like you would like me. I'll be like, why

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Speaker 1: would you want to change the way you look to fit?

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Speaker 1: You know? Or you know, like I've had guys like

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Speaker 1: say stuff because I mean I had my weight has

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Speaker 1: like fluctuated and things like that, and now like I've

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Speaker 1: really been in the gym. I remember this dude was

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Speaker 1: like in my snapchat dms, like somebody used to fuck with,

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Speaker 1: like for real, and he's like, oh, I see you,

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Speaker 1: you're losing weight. And then he'll make like little comments

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Speaker 1: like oh, when you're gonna get your body done? I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you're not the niket for me. Like, and even if

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Speaker 1: I decided to do that, Like what would ever in

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Speaker 1: your life make you think you can't even touch the

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Speaker 1: new body? The current body? Like right, yeah, so so

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Speaker 1: do you feel like um body positivity sometimes promotes an

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Speaker 1: unhealthy lifestyle because there's a conversation about no. Absolutely, I

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Speaker 1: think the whole body positivity movement has been totally gentrified

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Speaker 1: and it's just it's just a shit show now, Like

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Speaker 1: I remember, like it when that whole movement came about.

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Speaker 1: It was supposed to be you know, like to empower

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Speaker 1: like you know, women who go beyond like the regular size,

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Speaker 1: plus size women just you know, to love themselves, to

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Speaker 1: embrace themselves. Now, I always see the argument people say

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Speaker 1: when it comes like, oh, it's promoting unhealthiness. But it's

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Speaker 1: just like, okay, like nobody says anything to people who

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Speaker 1: you know, who are intorexic or whatever the case may be.

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Speaker 1: I just I don't know what society's thing is about

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Speaker 1: always picking on fat people. I just don't get it.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, if they're happy, you know whatever. Now me,

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Speaker 1: on the other hand, I mean, yeah, there is I

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Speaker 1: feel like there's a point when all right, you know

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Speaker 1: you're pre diabetic, things like that. But it's just like

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Speaker 1: I don't think it promotes an unhealthy lifestyle. I think

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Speaker 1: it's just a community for people to feel like some

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Speaker 1: type of togetherness so they can just feel, you know,

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Speaker 1: like feel some type of love, some type of sense

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Speaker 1: of like belonging. Because like, yeah, because growing up, I

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Speaker 1: mean I didn't have like any type of positive plus

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Speaker 1: sized role models. I mean, like Monique, no shade to her,

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Speaker 1: but that wasn't somebody, you know, who I looked up to,

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Speaker 1: like Monique and Nicky Parker. I just always felt like

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Speaker 1: there was every time it was like a plus sized

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Speaker 1: person in the media, they were always funny, yea, the

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Speaker 1: Big Mama and yeah, and I was just like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm cute, I'm glamorous, I like fashion. There was never

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Speaker 1: anything like that. So I'm just like, Wow, fast forward

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Speaker 1: to today, you have so much representation. So but just

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Speaker 1: kind of back in what I said about it just

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Speaker 1: being gentrified. Like when you go to Instagram you type

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Speaker 1: in like hashtag body positivity, You'll see all these Caucasian

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Speaker 1: women who might be like a size twelve, and they're

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Speaker 1: hunched over so they can make their roles look pronounced,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, I embraced my body. I'm like, girl, No,

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Speaker 1: you don't, like you can go on Zara and find

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Speaker 1: something aware, you know, Like, So, I just feel like

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Speaker 1: I've personally just kind of like in my influencer journey,

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Speaker 1: I've kind of I learned the plus sized community is

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Speaker 1: very weird, and I just I developed my own lane

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Speaker 1: once I kind of figured out, like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: found my niche of what I wanted to do. I

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Speaker 1: was just like, I don't really need all these labels

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Speaker 1: to define I am, like, you know what I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: You know it works for me, right. We all know

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Speaker 1: men men love plus size women. I talk about this before.

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Speaker 1: I've talked about this before. How one of my exes

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Speaker 1: he would always cheat with, Like I used to have

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Speaker 1: a whole problem, Like if I would have saw you,

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Speaker 1: like out in public somewhere, I'm like, I know, like

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Speaker 1: he likes this. You know what I'm saying, Like he,

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Speaker 1: But that's so crazy because like that's one but they

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Speaker 1: don't they think like they want to get they would

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Speaker 1: get shamed better friends. It's like that's the thing. No,

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Speaker 1: but some people have like a BBW fetish And I'm

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Speaker 1: just like, I think men who have had big moms

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Speaker 1: that's what they attracted to. I don't know, but I

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Speaker 1: don't like guys like I love big girls. I like

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Speaker 1: chubby girls. I'm like, I'm sorry, baby, I'm not that

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Speaker 1: one for you, right this one this is different over here.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be fetish sized or anything like

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Speaker 1: that because, like you, you always know those guys who

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Speaker 1: who have those vibes, and I'm just like, that's never

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Speaker 1: going to be the guy for me, Like, I just

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Speaker 1: that's just not what I like. I'm like, I go

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Speaker 1: where I'm celebrated it like, but I mean, isn't that

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Speaker 1: celebrating you know? If he said I like chubby girls,

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Speaker 1: I like big girls. But it's like those are those

400
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Speaker 1: guys are always real creepy, like every single time. Like

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Speaker 1: it's just and that's another thing too. It's like it's

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Speaker 1: one of those things. It's like as a plus size woman,

403
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 1: like we experienced that and you're like, oh, here it

404
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Speaker 1: goes a guy who has like the BBW obsession and

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Speaker 1: I hate that term. I'm like, you didn't about to

406
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Speaker 1: call me a beauty video. I'm not a porn category,

407
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 1: but but no, there's God embrace. It's just like it's

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Speaker 1: just so cringe to me sometimes because I just feel

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Speaker 1: like what like I don't know, I just feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm not like the typical plus size girl, you know,

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Speaker 1: like I'm that's not what my brand's about. I don't

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Speaker 1: have to be on a soapbox every day saying I'm fad,

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Speaker 1: this is my struggle, this is my fight, Like and

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Speaker 1: there are some girls that is that's their thing. What

415
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: about Lizzo? How do you feel about Lizzo and platform

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Speaker 1: and how she feels like I've always been like just

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Speaker 1: kind of like on the fence about Lizzo. It's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, her music is great. I feel like sometimes

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Speaker 1: she she does you know, she is a little bit

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Speaker 1: too extra, but it's just like, you know, the time

421
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: that she came, like she is fitting that she's fitting

422
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: that role for you know, society needed someone to feel that,

423
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 1: you know, that role of like, you know, she's a

424
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 1: powerful plus sized woman who you know makes really good music,

425
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,880
Speaker 1: appeals to millions the masses. There's nobody else that's really

426
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 1: ever you know, been like her. So for for that,

427
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 1: you know, I give it to her. I'm even like

428
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 1: the brand that she has called Yitty Um. I mean,

429
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 1: I think that's really cool too because I saw like

430
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: non plus sized people are wearing it as well. But

431
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 1: it's just like I just hate that as a plus

432
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 1: size woman, especially if someone you know who's just like

433
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 1: in the in the mainstream met like you always just

434
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 1: have to talk about like you think she's definite struggle.

435
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 1: I mean, but when she started working out, here goes

436
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: people talking about like, oh, you're you're trying to lose weight.

437
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 1: I'm just like it's like you damned if you do,

438
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 1: you damned, you're dough. It's like you're gonna condemn me

439
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:53,719
Speaker 1: if that I'm fat and you're telling me you need

440
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 1: to lose weight, you need to work out, and then boom,

441
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: you see me working out. Oh, you're you're trying to

442
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: lose too much weight. You're gonna you're gonna lose your

443
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 1: fan base. You're not really promoting. So it's just like

444
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: black people say, you're gonna look like a crackhead child.

445
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:10,640
Speaker 1: So I just and that's that weight. That's what people say.

446
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't believe in big bones, Like no,

447
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 1: it's the scientific. There is nobody that's big bones. Like

448
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 1: I'm from I'm from Cincinnati, Ohio. I didn't hear none

449
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: of these phrases until I moved to Charlotte when I

450
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 1: was twelve. I was like, big bone, red bone, What

451
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 1: does all these bones in the South? Like everybody's just

452
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 1: making up all this stuff. And then I was like,

453
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 1: ain't nobody got no big bones? Like said when we died,

454
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: like all of our skill baby look the same. So

455
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 1: you don't feel like losing weight will hurt your brain

456
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: at one point, So like um. In twenty sixteen, I

457
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 1: had um weight loss surgery and I lost like a

458
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: good amount of weight, but I was very scared about

459
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 1: it because I didn't want to lose weight like too fast.

460
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 1: My dad's like, you're gonna look like Star Jones and

461
00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: that just it's good now though her head was so big,

462
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 1: and so that was like my worst fear. It's like

463
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: I didn't want to have like, you know, like that

464
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 1: drastic that drastic change. I mean over time, you know,

465
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 1: like I started gaining weight back, but then like two

466
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 1: years ago, I really ignited my knee. I just you know,

467
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: just going to the gym or something that I like.

468
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 1: But that was always, you know, a common thing. They're like, oh,

469
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 1: you're trying to lose weight, you know, because at the

470
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 1: time my blog was called Diary of a Fat Shinista.

471
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: They're like, you know, how are you gonna try to

472
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 1: I hate people you want to get skinny. I could

473
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: never see myself, you know, being skinny. I'm like, I'm

474
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 1: five ten. I weighed like three fifteen right now, three

475
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 1: fourteen actually, but I could just never see myself like

476
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: being skinny. I mean I've always you know, I built

477
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 1: the brand upon being a plus size girl showing plus

478
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 1: size girls. You know, to be confident, to be sexy,

479
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 1: you can do, you know anything, like your weight doesn't

480
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: define you. Just be unapologetically you. And even now, like

481
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm older, I'm just like you know, people change,

482
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 1: so it's like you can't hold people to the same

483
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 1: place that they were, you know, ten years ago. So

484
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: somebody decides, you know, make that change at the end

485
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: of the day. You know, it's like we're responsible for ourselves.

486
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 1: My health was always going to come before a brand

487
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: or you know, an image I'm trying to uphold. And

488
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,399
Speaker 1: then just the same way, you know, you get brand deals,

489
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 1: you'll get other brand deals. Right, everything's about evolution, transforming.

490
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 1: When Tim and I came up, you know, we thought

491
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: about this episode. You remember the girl Monique curring her

492
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: boyfriend off of Love After. I don't watch the show,

493
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 1: but I've seen enough on Instagram to know what everything

494
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 1: is about. Like we were like thinking about that because

495
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the comments online. I'm like, like, why

496
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 1: do y'all think she can't get him? Like look at him,

497
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 1: Like what the fuck are y'all seeing? Um? And so

498
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 1: she took the social media and she was like, I

499
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,400
Speaker 1: don't know why people are so obsessed with my weight

500
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: and my relationship with Derek. Y'all get on the internet

501
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,359
Speaker 1: and be fake caring about mental health and protecting black women,

502
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 1: and all I see on these blog sites is black

503
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: men and women in the comments bullying another black woman

504
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,400
Speaker 1: about her weight. This this show was filmed months ago.

505
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: Me and Derek have been together almost three years. He

506
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 1: loves it here, Okay, he's living living our truth. Love

507
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: is love. She concluded, Like, why do y'all feel like

508
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 1: I don't know a plus sized woman who doesn't have

509
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 1: a man and who has not had a man ever? Right,

510
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: I say the same thing. I'm like, dam everybody got

511
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: a man self? Hey, whatever I do exactly so shit,

512
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: That's how I feel. I just I think it just

513
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 1: it just really bothers people, because like I feel like

514
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: whenever someone sees like a plus size woman who's happyy,

515
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, who's happy and she's thriving, you know, she's confident,

516
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 1: It just it bothers them. Like my biggest pet peeve

517
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 1: is when someone say I admire your confidence. I'm like,

518
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 1: you wouldn't say that to somebody who wasn't big, right,

519
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 1: And they have little self esteem and people and they

520
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: don't and they don't know that that that's really like

521
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: a dig, Like I admire your confidence. So like I

522
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: used to always go in on people. I used to

523
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 1: be like the Rihanna clapback queen on Instagram. But now

524
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: I'm just like I'm just living my life. You know,

525
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: I don't care. But it's just like I don't see

526
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: why people care, Like, you know, if they're together and

527
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 1: they're happy, you know why like why is that affecting

528
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,640
Speaker 1: your life? How is that going to change your current situation.

529
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: It's just they just don't understand the dynamics and they're

530
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: just like, well, how or what it if? I'm just

531
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: like let them be happy, like they got a lot

532
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: of drama, but if it's working for them, like body,

533
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 1: y'all care? Right, But when someone says they admire your confidence,

534
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: I don't think they mean it as a dig because

535
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 1: I feel like people assume that if you're plus size,

536
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to not feel love yourself or not

537
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:22,399
Speaker 1: be happy. Yeah, because it's like to some so like

538
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 1: they'll be like, you're so brave for wearing that dress.

539
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 1: I admire your confidence, right, And I'll just be thinking

540
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: like if it was somebody like I don't know, like Ariya,

541
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 1: y'all are not telling her you admire her confidence. So

542
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: it's a lot of comments. Sometimes I'm just like, that's

543
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 1: it's it's like people think it's not it's not like

544
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 1: you know, a dig or it's not negative, but it

545
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 1: actually is because I'm just like, why would you say

546
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: that to me? It's like I know that I'm a

547
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 1: confident person, but it's like you don't have to say

548
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: that to a because like because then they're braining things

549
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 1: like wow, she put that dress on, like she is

550
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 1: so brave for doing that, And I'm just like, I

551
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 1: wear would I want to wear? I look the good period.

552
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: Sometimes you were having on some risk ay stuff on

553
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: social media, and do you ever get like people under

554
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 1: in the communists like talking shit like women or men

555
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 1: are always gonna like sucker, they just gonna be creeps.

556
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: But sometimes it's like it's so funny. Um, I blocked

557
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: so many key words on Instagram, So even try to

558
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 1: leave a certain word, it's knock onna you got fat blocked?

559
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 1: No No, So like the um the biggest thing, Wait,

560
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 1: you can block words and I have a list, Yeah,

561
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,919
Speaker 1: they're like if you try to comment, but um, so ever,

562
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,879
Speaker 1: since I became like this internet person, I don't know,

563
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: like they have always been obsessed with me not wearing

564
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: a brawl. I just feel like, who fucking cares? Like

565
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 1: I just like I have so many questions, so I

566
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: had to I had to block the word boob sagging brawl.

567
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 1: I've blocked all those words, and like even like the

568
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: other weeks because like if I post something was like, oh,

569
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: what blue tape are you wearing, I'm like, baby, it's gravity.

570
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: Like they just always have a question about that. But

571
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: like that's the thing. They'd be like, oh, he doesn't

572
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 1: even have brawn or like I'm just like I don't. Yeah,

573
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 1: I'm just like, why do y'all care so much about

574
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: what somebody does for their body? I'm like And another

575
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 1: thing too that I always laugh about. I'm like, at

576
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: the end of the day, everything I post is for

577
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: a check. So it's just like what you're saying does

578
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: not bother me. The checks, Like I'm getting paid, like

579
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: you know to do this, Like this is you know

580
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: what we're here for. So I just I've a long

581
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: time ago. I'm just like just so thankful that like

582
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: the place I used to be in maybe like ten

583
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: twelve years ago. It's just like that ship does not

584
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: even bother me. Now it doesn't phase me, And I'm

585
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 1: just like, damn, I'm just so this is good. I

586
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 1: used to be like kind of just like really just

587
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: into all the like, oh my god, they're talking about me.

588
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I can never be famous, Like I

589
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 1: just want the money. I don't really care about, you know,

590
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: being being famous, because it's like it can bother you,

591
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: like it's what you're mental sometimes, especially like you know,

592
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: when that's what you do for a living. So so

593
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: all right, we have to like they're telling this like

594
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 1: y'all need to be more active on social y'all, and

595
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,959
Speaker 1: me and AJ are just you got to not social

596
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 1: media people. But right, do you ever feel like a

597
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 1: slave to it? I'm already starting to feel like a slave.

598
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 1: May not, but there are times when I'm just like

599
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 1: I want to take like I want to take like

600
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 1: a week off. And do you even say I wanted

601
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: to take a week off on Instagram? It's crazy because

602
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 1: that's that's a long time, you know. It's like for

603
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: all the really jump out the algorithm after a week

604
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 1: probably well, like I remember, I did it once and

605
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: it kind of helped my GID. This was a while ago.

606
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: But it's just like when you work with different brands

607
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: and then say you okay, like for one brand, like

608
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 1: say that you have to post eight times a month,

609
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: and then if you take off like, you know, a week,

610
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: it's like you're you're pushing your work back, which is

611
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 1: also going to negatively impact the way that you get paid.

612
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: But yet sometimes I'm just like fuck this ship. I

613
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: just need a break. I just wanted to detach, Like

614
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: I remember, I deleted the Instagram map off my phone,

615
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 1: like I just didn't want to see Instagram because like

616
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: we just get so consumed in it. It's like you

617
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: have to really make like a conscious effort to be

618
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: like you know, that's why I had don't follow like

619
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: a lot of the you know, the blogs. I'm like,

620
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 1: I can't like consume this. I wanted to just start

621
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 1: surround and like my feet with people that I admire,

622
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 1: people who motivate me. And once I kind of, you know,

623
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: change that mindset a few years ago, Like it worked,

624
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: but yeah, you do become a slave to it because

625
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: it's like everyone social media in some shape form or

626
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: fashion like it's part of like, you know, our job. Yeah, absolutely,

627
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: And it also builds a false narrative in my opinion,

628
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: because yeah, it's just like not real life. People are

629
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 1: posting hyperlife moments all the time and that's it. Like

630
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: even like when you go out if y'all posting, y'all

631
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: like and as soon as the camera go out, I'm

632
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: just quiet smoking. Who God, nobody's in sections talking right.

633
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: Hate that so, especially living in Atlanta, like child, I

634
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:42,479
Speaker 1: have seen. I've seen it all out here and it's superficial. Oh,

635
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: Atlanta is the worst, y'all. Don't even I don't even

636
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: feel like Atlanta have fun when they go out. I

637
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: feel like everybody just go out to look good and

638
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: just look at each other. This is a credit card number, careful, Yeah,

639
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: but no, you're the false narrative thing. That's I think.

640
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 1: It's like I've always just been just overly authentic with

641
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: my brand, and that's I think. You know, I always

642
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: kind of wanted to be like that that big sister,

643
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 1: like you know, hey girl, I'd be like hey, fat

644
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: Shanista's So then it's like when I see you know,

645
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: as Instagram has has changed, especially living in this wicked city.

646
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: It's like I just see so much on just like damn,

647
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, y'all be on Instagram with the aps and

648
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: the cars, y'all be in Miami. Y'all don't even have

649
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 1: nowhere to live. Oh and we forgot about this and

650
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: stupid and that news. Now you can buy your blue

651
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 1: check or Instagram okay for fourteen ninety. Like I don't

652
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 1: want it. I wanted. I tried to go through like

653
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: that process like before, but like Instagram was so strict

654
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: about that, like you had to be published and you know,

655
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: in articles, and I was trying to, you know, do stuff.

656
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 1: So then that's when I learned people was like buying

657
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: their way into Forbes and all that. I know, the

658
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: people who paid ten grand for a blue check, it's

659
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: probably pissed off like month, but now you can be verified.

660
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: I just don't understand, Like I mean, I feel like

661
00:32:58,240 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: that used to be something that, like you know, it

662
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 1: did validate, like your accolades. But now the fact that

663
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 1: you can buy it, I don't even want it. I

664
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: don't want it no more. I don't want it, like

665
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: I think they only they still only extended to certain people.

666
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: Also though I don't think just anybody still can just

667
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 1: purchase the blue check. I definitely don't. Yeah. I saw

668
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: pop of them, like you know, like Instagram or whatever

669
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: saying that it was offering it. But I was just like,

670
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 1: I didn't get no email, Like you gotta email. I'm like, girl,

671
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 1: I don't want that, right, that's just buying followers too though,

672
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 1: like buying a bunch of fill and it's always it

673
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: is obvious. Yeah you got ninety thousand followers. Yeah, that's

674
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 1: not your engagement don't match niggah, right, I just everyone

675
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: just has this need to just to be needed and

676
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 1: just on Instagram or whatever social media you're on. I'm

677
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 1: just like, but it's all about people wanting to be loved.

678
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: That's what it bull is that what it is that love?

679
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: To me, that's not real love. Like I have more

680
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: fulfillment from people in my real life, Like I don't

681
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: need validation from social media tonight. Fortune that everyone is

682
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: just not like that. They want to seem like you know,

683
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,399
Speaker 1: they're popping they got that's the mitaverse. Like you could

684
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 1: be somebody different online, Like I have a tough time

685
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: with that because I am the same person online that

686
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: I am in real life, right, yeah, like I can't

687
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 1: be nobody else. That was like I think that was

688
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 1: probably like the one of the most difficult things about

689
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 1: just kind of navigating like social media and even like

690
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 1: social media friendships. Like when I first moved out here,

691
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 1: I was just so excited to meet like I was, Oh,

692
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 1: there's all these other girls who are plus eyes, are influencers,

693
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: you know, they got businesses. And then I just really

694
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 1: and then when you really get down to the nitty gritty,

695
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,360
Speaker 1: it was like it was this one girl. I was like,

696
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: oh my god, Like she really was just trying to

697
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: like steal my whole personality in my life. And the

698
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: dudes I was talking to and stuff. And I always

699
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 1: because people always say when you move to Atlanta, you're

700
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 1: gonna learn your one Atlanta lesson, and I was like,

701
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: that was my Atlanta lesson. I was like, these girls

702
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 1: are crazy, Like they don't they just want to be

703
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 1: your friend, to figure out why your light shine so bright?

704
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 1: Like why is she fobbing? Why like why are these

705
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 1: dudes doing this for her? Why is she going here?

706
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 1: Like why is this brand working with her? And I

707
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 1: think that's like one of the green night things about

708
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 1: me it's just like I'm just overly genuine. So it's

709
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: like sometimes I'm just like, damn. People really don't do

710
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 1: have bad intentions, right, So I'm just like damn. You know,

711
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: I'm the city really taught me a lot, Thank you, Alanta.

712
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 1: But do you do you want to stay in Atlanta?

713
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: That is like the big question. I Um, I don't know.

714
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 1: I've been here since June twenty nineteen, but I used to.

715
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been coming to Atlanta for like years before.

716
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,320
Speaker 1: They'd like to hang out, party and all of that.

717
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: This Atlanta pre COVID was great during COVID. Post COVID

718
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 1: is trash. Like it's just everybody moved here because we

719
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 1: were open. You know, we we had lockdown like Max

720
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,359
Speaker 1: we had that movie. We had lockdown for like two

721
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: and a half months and then everything was, you know,

722
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,320
Speaker 1: like we was open like it was it was lit. Atlanta,

723
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 1: Texas about in Florida were the only people that was

724
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: really doing stuff. But I don't know, like I feel

725
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,840
Speaker 1: like this is not a city for love whatsoever. You

726
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 1: was not gonna find your man out here. If you

727
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,280
Speaker 1: find a man, he already gotta he got a wife,

728
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. He might have a man too, wild like, no,

729
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: Atlanta is a man too. When I moved to Atlanta.

730
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,479
Speaker 1: When I moved to Atlanta back in two thousand and ten,

731
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: I went on, I'm actually on a date with a

732
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 1: man and he were still good friends to this day too.

733
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: I'm on a date with him and he's like, yeah,

734
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 1: Alta Lana ain't a place to find a mate. He's like,

735
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: why why do we here? Then I'm trying to mate, nigga,

736
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 1: why are we here? Let me tell y'all story. When

737
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: I was living here, I went I met this guy.

738
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 1: He was like, let's go to the movies. We went

739
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: to the movies. Right, We're pulling up in the to

740
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 1: the movie theater. We're parking the space. A car pulls

741
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: right beside us, real fans, right, And I was like,

742
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 1: you ain't got no bitches. He's like, it ain't no

743
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: telling what. I'm not about to do that because it's

744
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 1: like three type of men in Atlanta. You have the

745
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 1: homeless ones. You have the not so heterosexual ones, and

746
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:01,319
Speaker 1: then you have the ones that got their shit together

747
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 1: and they have their pick out of how many different women?

748
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 1: Because and then you got the thing. You got the

749
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 1: Africans that's a whole different song. What the Africans be doing.

750
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: The Africans should love you right, No, And I think

751
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 1: that's like that's another thing too. It's kind of like

752
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: I found I mean, I'm sorry, I don't date black

753
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,400
Speaker 1: American men anymore. I'm not like I'm not against I

754
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 1: just I just haven't dated one and so long, like

755
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: I just don't want to do especially being here. I mean,

756
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: like a long time ago, I didn't like foreign guys.

757
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 1: But then when I started like meeting like you know,

758
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: coming to Atlanta, I like meeting my dream coming to America.

759
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 1: No I didn't. I mean from like just having like

760
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: girlfriends up to like who are African? I was like, oh,

761
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:45,839
Speaker 1: I mean that's what they like. But then it's kind

762
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 1: of like you know, you go where you're celebrating, not

763
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: where you're tolerating. It's like I didn't have to to

764
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 1: deal with like like just bs no more. It's like

765
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: it's just their culture and their nature to be to

766
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: be a real man. But the downside about the ship

767
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: is they cheat, Like hell, they might have a wife

768
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: in Africa a wife and deLuce a girlfriend. Like it's

769
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 1: a lot these niggas and these American niggas, they just

770
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: and the nigga got ship. But dick and do rag

771
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,399
Speaker 1: for you, that's it. And a pull up bar bitch,

772
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 1: that's it. And that's why I'm just like, it's like

773
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 1: it's just damned if you damned if you don't. But

774
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 1: it's like it's just funny because I remember, like, um,

775
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 1: it's like this little this blog people go and talk

776
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 1: shit about people. They were like, oh, she only date um,

777
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: she only liked Nigerians because they like big girls. I'm

778
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 1: just like, bitch, why do you fucking get jealous? Right,

779
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, boll, I mean like they treat their women well.

780
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: But I was just like, why would I just you know,

781
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 1: I know, I know my word. But it's like if

782
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 1: there's somebody who likes me, you know, because of me,

783
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: it's like I don't have to feel like uncomfortable, you

784
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 1: know sometimes even like being a la like I have

785
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,240
Speaker 1: like my group of friends, you know, they the Instagram girls,

786
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 1: bottle girls, or they go out and I'd just be like,

787
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 1: I don't really have nothing to comm with y'all. It's

788
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,320
Speaker 1: like I like y'all and everything, but it's like the

789
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:56,359
Speaker 1: struggles y'all be dealing with and I'd be cracking up too.

790
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 1: I'm just like, we all go through the same ship here.

791
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 1: I'm just like all date these rappers and these athletes,

792
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 1: and you still be having the same the same drama.

793
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 1: So that's why I was just like, and that was

794
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 1: one of the thing that they realize. I was like,

795
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: it an't got nothing to do what you look like,

796
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: because everyone is still dealing with the same shit, you know,

797
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: from dudes. And it's like, yeah, you know, you may

798
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:20,399
Speaker 1: get a little more slack for being a big girl.

799
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 1: And I see, like, you know the things that like

800
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 1: other girls go through just from like the stories that

801
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 1: they tell me and just like crazy stuff I just

802
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: read like on the internet. I'm just like, damn, he

803
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: did that. But it's just like it's just so many

804
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 1: stereotypes like income tax time, and I'm like, I'm sorry,

805
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 1: I just I tell people all the time. I'd be like,

806
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 1: I can't relate. I have never related to like half

807
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 1: the ship that I've had. I always have to pay right. Yeah,

808
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: I'm like I'm like, y'all, yeah, how much time I got,

809
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 1: But I got a girl to somebody. But no, it's

810
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: just like a lot of things like I can't relate

811
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 1: to that. So I'm like, if you want to call

812
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: it what that girl told me on Twitter, She's like,

813
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 1: you have pretty plus size privilege. And I was like,

814
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 1: I'll be the president of that club then, baby, sorry,

815
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: I can't. I'm right. They just always try to find

816
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: a way to buy stuff. And then like you know,

817
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: there's like a phrase called um small fats and big fats,

818
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 1: like if you're on the smaller side of like being

819
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:24,360
Speaker 1: plus side. I'm just like, bitch wanma burger. It's just

820
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,960
Speaker 1: so many different things. I just didn't I just didn't know.

821
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm just sitting here thinking in my friend like I'm

822
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: just out here just existing, just you know. I'm like,

823
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 1: I put myself as a black woman before I put

824
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 1: myself as a flat black woman, and here y'all go

825
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 1: trying to say, oh, you're like a smaller fat. I'm like, girl,

826
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 1: please stop stop stop trying to box me in. Yeah,

827
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 1: like like what is really good? What's going on? Dyn though, know,

828
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,359
Speaker 1: like that's your community. I don't need that right going.

829
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: My sister, she's a big girl, and she does not

830
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 1: like like you were saying, like men who fetishize bigger women.

831
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 1: She likes men who don't like big women, like she

832
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 1: feels like she's converting them. It's just always something. I mean,

833
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 1: it is so funny because it's like I, um, I've

834
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 1: dated guys or like just met guys when on dates

835
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: for guys whatever this term we call it, Like, oh,

836
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: I never talked to a big girl before, and I

837
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 1: was just like, I ain't about to be yo guinea big.

838
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 1: Like I just feel like when you when you have

839
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 1: to like express that, it just it just turns. It's

840
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 1: like automatic, just turn off, you know, And I'm just like,

841
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 1: don't say that. Like I never reminds me of when

842
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 1: I was younger, because now brown girls are popping, But

843
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: when I was younger, niggas used to be like you

844
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 1: pretty for a brown girl. That shit used to irk

845
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: my nerves so bad, Like what the fuck does that mean? Yeah?

846
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: And it very similar to that, yeah, pretty for a

847
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 1: big girl, and I'd be cracking like, oh, you have

848
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 1: such a nice face. I'm like, nigga, I got nice

849
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 1: everything like what you're talking about. It's just it's weird.

850
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: And then even like, um, like guys who try to

851
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:03,359
Speaker 1: like secretly date big girls. I remember like a while ago, oh,

852
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 1: It was a show The Game, where one of the

853
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 1: football players he was like secretly dating a big reporter

854
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: but didn't want to be seen out with her. He

855
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 1: liked her wait a whole lot. Oh that was a

856
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: show called The Game, right, Yeah? Was it? Oh? Was that?

857
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 1: I remember that? Yeah? And I just felt like, Damn,

858
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, how can you just love this person? But

859
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,320
Speaker 1: you just can't you know, you can't be seen like,

860
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: you know, like out with them. I mean, I remember

861
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,320
Speaker 1: I went through my whole little athlete phase when I

862
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 1: lived in Charlotte. Thank God for deliverance, but Jesus, yeah,

863
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: but I'm just like, how could you, like, you know,

864
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: how would you want to be around this person only

865
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: behind closed doors? Like and it's like there's some girls

866
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 1: you know, like they're okay with that, but it's like

867
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 1: that doesn't number too your confidence, It doesn't number two,

868
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 1: like your self esteem, your mentality, because like it really

869
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 1: starts to fuck with you. It's like, damn, like you

870
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: can only try to come over here and come see me,

871
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 1: or you know, pull up oh content garage, come do this.

872
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:00,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not doing that of that. It's like

873
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: I think now that I'm older, I mean, I would

874
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 1: never go for that, but there have been times I

875
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 1: just kind of be like, you know because like you

876
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: just like you like this person so much and y'all

877
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 1: like y'are having good sex, like you're having fun. But

878
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 1: it's just like Dann, we can't even go, like we

879
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 1: can't do nothing. I'm like, I'm a bad bitch. Like

880
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: so I'm just like no, and I'm like, girl, stand up,

881
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: get released the shackles of the sneaking of being nothing.

882
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 1: If he can't celebrate you, girl, you got like no.

883
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: Like another that was kind of like that just right

884
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:35,880
Speaker 1: with Queenland movie. I Love seen that and so on?

885
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: Was that was that like the thing like because she

886
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 1: was big, he was like not public with her, and

887
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 1: she wasn't the other girl like the other girl was

888
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 1: like slim and cute, and I mean, I don't know,

889
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 1: it's just like just just like talking about these topics,

890
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 1: I'm just like, damn. Like when I was like younger,

891
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: like twenty to like twenty three, I just like I

892
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 1: remember like just kind of like things like that, but

893
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 1: it's just like now I'm just like I don't I

894
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 1: don't experience that anymore. And I mean I feel like

895
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: you know, for me to say that enemy I'm always

896
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,320
Speaker 1: speaking about like my own experience. But I'm like, you know,

897
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: I'm just very unfortunate because I'm just like I don't

898
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 1: know like how I could even be like mentally if

899
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,800
Speaker 1: I was still like in a situation like that. I'm like, like,

900
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: what do you mean? Ill? All right, y'all, we're gonna

901
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 1: take a commercial break. Dumb story, So dumb bitch story,

902
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 1: Which one do you want? You know, I'm like the

903
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: best one, the best, the one that like really sticks

904
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,360
Speaker 1: out of my head. It's like this happened in November

905
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen. I'm like, to this day, I'm so pissed

906
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: and like the person who's involved in the story. I

907
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: saw him. He lives in like my Homeboys building. I

908
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 1: was like, they live on the same floor. So I

909
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 1: walked past him and I was looking so cute that

910
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: day too, So I was like, oh, I knew like

911
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 1: he kind of like remember who I was. Okay, So

912
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 1: I was living in Charlotte, just dude like slit at

913
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 1: my DMS or whatever, and he was just like, you know,

914
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: just trying to talk to me, and that is just like, oh,

915
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,399
Speaker 1: like to you know, go to this page. He's cute.

916
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 1: He'd be outside, like, you know, having fun. He dresses nice,

917
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: okay whatever. So we're just chatting. He was like, yeah,

918
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 1: you should come to Atlanta, like, I'll take you out.

919
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 1: We go to Gucci. I'm young at fuck, just stupid

920
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 1: as fuck. So wait, how many years ago? Was that?

921
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 1: Six years ago? No? I was. I was stupid and

922
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,359
Speaker 1: just real green back then. He was like, yeah, I'll

923
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 1: buy you something out to dinner. We can we can

924
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 1: go out. He was like, okay, so come to Atlanta.

925
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: So I just throw them a little shit in my

926
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 1: little Duffel bag. I had an all too. But the time,

927
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm going eighty five, so I'm coming to Atlanta.

928
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:45,439
Speaker 1: Nigga was not answering this phone once you got here, Yeah,

929
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,320
Speaker 1: it was like like was not answering the phone, and

930
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 1: I was just like WTF. I was like, you know,

931
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 1: I thought I was about to, like, you know, either

932
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 1: stay with you like we're you know, like I had

933
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 1: friends in like in Atlanta, but that's not what I

934
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: came down here for wines and nine and here I

935
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 1: am getting the Clunes, Like did you hear from him? Girl?

936
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 1: I ain't done yet. So I was just trying to

937
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 1: kill times I went, so I went and got my

938
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:15,399
Speaker 1: nails done. He still ain't answering the phone. I'm like, okay,

939
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 1: what the fuck. So then at this point, like it's

940
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 1: getting kind of late, I'm just like, all right, let

941
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 1: me just go get a hotel like so I can

942
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: just you know whatever. But then at this point, I'm like,

943
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 1: you know, like where you're kind of like about to cry.

944
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm like calling my friend and she was like,

945
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 1: first of all, bitch, why would you even do that?

946
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:35,399
Speaker 1: I was like, it's Atlanta. And then she was like okay,

947
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: she said, so what we're gonna do? Said, you're gonna

948
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 1: go to the hotel you brought close to go out? Right,

949
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: she said, you got You're gonna go out, And at

950
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 1: that time, like I wasn't really like going out like

951
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: by myself. So I get to the hotel and that

952
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 1: I said, I got a trip for this nigga. I

953
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,000
Speaker 1: called him from like the phone and like the hotel

954
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 1: because it was like a four or four number, and

955
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 1: he answered. I was just like, I was like, what

956
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 1: the fuck? And he was like, man out here making

957
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 1: this plague. Like so I'm like an hour I'm an hour.

958
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 1: I have an hour outside of Atlanta, like my phone.

959
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 1: I was just like, why the fuck would you tell

960
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: me to come down here? EBT. I was like why

961
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:13,960
Speaker 1: tell me? But the thing I was just like you

962
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: don't even like like making a play, like you know,

963
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: like that's not anyways. So I don't even know what happened.

964
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 1: I was just like, you know, what, fuck you. I

965
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 1: ended up going out by myself. I was so mad

966
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 1: because it's like I spent money coming down here and

967
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:26,799
Speaker 1: that's not what you know, that's how what I want

968
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 1: to do. But it's like you always have right that

969
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: always yeah, just just in case home without it. But

970
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: I mean ended up being like a really good night

971
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: because I went out to um it was some club.

972
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 1: It's not even there no more. It's like over there

973
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 1: there eleven forty five. I went out by myself. I

974
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: was so scared. I had to just like my friend

975
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: was like just get out of the car because I

976
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,120
Speaker 1: was in the car for like thirty minutes. It's scared.

977
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 1: Just so whenever I get like really really really scared,

978
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 1: I have to get drunk, like because when you drunk

979
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 1: is just like you're like anything goes. So I just

980
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: went to the bar. I had this really cute outfit

981
00:47:57,760 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 1: on two. I was so cute that night and I

982
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 1: to the bar and then it was like these this

983
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: like these like big group of like it was like

984
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 1: some Bigerian dudes like some girls. It was like come

985
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: here and my cousin will love you. He's on his way.

986
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 1: And then the guy and then it was so crazy,

987
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 1: Like the dude I met that night, I still fuck

988
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:13,800
Speaker 1: with him like to this day. So I was just

989
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:18,839
Speaker 1: like I was supposed to be fuck you Phil, Yeah,

990
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 1: fuck you yo. This is a gag okay, so I

991
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:24,800
Speaker 1: gotta kind of go back to because anyway, So it

992
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:26,879
Speaker 1: was like, what was that the drinking and smoking video

993
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: with Future? I was just like watching the video and

994
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 1: then he was in the video. I screamed so loud

995
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 1: when I saw that, and I was just like, so,

996
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: who is Oh, that's the nigga who hang with Future?

997
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: You know him? You ain't with Future. I'm expecting some bullshit, right,

998
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: but yeah, I was like look at me now, period.

999
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 1: Do you have any dumb store you want to share? No?

1000
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 1: I don't have any recent ones. No, not recent, no

1001
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:58,440
Speaker 1: recent dumb bit story. No, I don't get played in

1002
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 1: the last let me tell you how I felt played

1003
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 1: all right, So, as y'all know, I had my fire

1004
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: boys removed recently. This made me feel like I need

1005
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 1: a man, Like I need a man in my life

1006
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: or someone in my house, y'all. Like I was in

1007
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 1: so much pain I couldn't bend over. So after I

1008
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 1: used the bathroom, I had to pull my paintings up

1009
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: with a hang of y'all and pull my paintings up,

1010
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 1: And that was so humbling, and I was like, lord,

1011
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 1: I need what about like like lowering yourself to sit

1012
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 1: on the toilet? Did that hurt too? Miserable? Yeah, that's

1013
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,839
Speaker 1: like you definitely wasn't supposed to be in the house

1014
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: by yourself. No, I wasn't. Yeah, you gotta have a caretaker. Yeah,

1015
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 1: my mom was there for the first two days, but

1016
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 1: she has I'll be sick. I'm like, take care of me.

1017
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: But I mean that even if you had a man, like,

1018
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 1: they don't know what to do. You stole me friend,

1019
00:49:51,719 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: Yeah you can kind of like go yeah right, oh yeah,

1020
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 1: that's my story for the week. Don't have no more

1021
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 1: surgeries without a man. We need somebody helped timmy draws

1022
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 1: put a bandit on my booty lea. Tell everybody where

1023
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 1: they can find you, plug anything you have, Yes, y'all.

1024
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 1: You guys can find me on Instagram at me or

1025
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: the Boss YouTube at xo me or the Boss um

1026
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:31,360
Speaker 1: TikTok xo me or the Boss and my website me

1027
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 1: at the Boss dot com All Things Me, Big Boss.

1028
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday

1029
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 1: on the iHeartRadio Apple wherever the fuck you get your podcast.

1030
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:43,839
Speaker 1: That just your co host aj Holiday two point oh.

1031
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 1: Y'all listen. The Black Effect Podcast Festival is coming up

1032
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 1: April twenty second at the pull Meyyard. Go to www

1033
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 1: dot Black Effect dot com Slash Podcast Festival and get

1034
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 1: your tickets today. And if you visit our podcast stage

1035
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 1: we Talk Back Podcast, we do have a free ticket

1036
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: giveaway for two free tickets. Yeah, so you need to go.

1037
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 1: And we need some participants bitches, message us. We need

1038
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 1: some participants for some of our segments. Also, it's gonna

1039
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:17,839
Speaker 1: be so much fun. I'm excited. You gotta pull up.

1040
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 1: You'll sure every twenty second y'all. It's me tam Bam

1041
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 1: Official tam Bam on Instagram. Y'all follow me I love

1042
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 1: y'all so much. I don't know if I tell y'all

1043
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 1: enough for Nobody told y'all today, but I love y'all.

1044
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,240
Speaker 1: Thank y'all for tuning. Man, you love take your fuck, y'all.

1045
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: I'm just like I love y'all too. I appreciate you

1046
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 1: and she don't love y'all right the way I do.

1047
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 1: I thank y'apportuning me. Man. We'll see you next time,

1048
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,680
Speaker 1: and remember to speak now and never hold your pizza bitch,

1049
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:48,399
Speaker 1: because it's something we're unpicking our backs right. Bye bye