Speaker 1: We pull out of our house. We get about two
Speaker 1: blocks from the old house, and he looks at me
Speaker 1: and he says, I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.
Speaker 1: Within seconds of that coming out of his mouth, the
Speaker 1: squad car lit us up and pulled us over.
Speaker 2: I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, A show about
Speaker 2: the people we trust the most and the deceptions that
Speaker 2: change everything. Today we're sharing april story. Growing up in
Speaker 2: San Diego. April was extremely close to her parents. She'd
Speaker 2: been adopted by them when she was six weeks old.
Speaker 2: Her dad was her best friend.
Speaker 1: I was definitely a tomboy growing up, and so my
Speaker 1: joke had always been that I was the son my
Speaker 1: dad never had. I know how to change a spark
Speaker 1: plug on my car and all of the things within
Speaker 1: the engine.
Speaker 2: They had a typical middle class suburban life. Religion and
Speaker 2: faith were the foundation of their family.
Speaker 1: I was born and raised in the Church. I grew
Speaker 1: up with Christian values.
Speaker 2: Church gave April purpose and community.
Speaker 1: I have a fierce sense of wanting people to feel
Speaker 1: like they belong. Being adopted you deal with trauma in
Speaker 1: the sense that you were almost rejected from birth. So
Speaker 1: I want people to know that they belonged, that they
Speaker 1: have a place.
Speaker 2: The church also fed April's passion for music.
Speaker 1: My mom got me into piano lessons at an early
Speaker 1: age and so I always played at church.
Speaker 2: Her parents' marriage was her model of a healthy, happy relationship.
Speaker 2: Their love was a positive example of commitment.
Speaker 1: Even now after fifty seveidd years, half the time they're
Speaker 1: acting like newlyweds. That's what I wanted. That was the
Speaker 1: vision of marriage.
Speaker 2: Growing up, April knew she wanted a relationship like theirs.
Speaker 1: In high school, I had a boyfriend and I was
Speaker 1: very much a one person girl. So once I was
Speaker 1: with someone that was it like I had blinders on.
Speaker 1: They were my person.
Speaker 2: She also had a vision for her career. Her passion
Speaker 2: was music. She wanted to play in symphony hall and
Speaker 2: of course church.
Speaker 1: I want to lead people in worship. I want to
Speaker 1: be in a big worship team.
Speaker 2: In January of two thousand and three, April was accepted
Speaker 2: into the Hillsong Churches Leadership School in Sydney, Australia. For April,
Speaker 2: it was a life changing opportunity.
Speaker 1: My intention was to go to school in Australia, meet
Speaker 1: an Australian, marry him and live in Sydney. That was
Speaker 1: my whole plan, That was my goal. I was not
Speaker 1: looking to date anyone here. I had no intentions of
Speaker 1: even coming back to the country.
Speaker 2: She was looking forward to starting over and started preparing
Speaker 2: for her move to Australia. But one Wednesday night, April
Speaker 2: was setting up to lead worship when someone caught her eye.
Speaker 1: He was a good looking guy, tall, blonde, blue eyes,
Speaker 1: and I was like, who is this guy? Like, I'd
Speaker 1: never seen him before, didn't know who he was.
Speaker 2: It was uncommon for a stranger to be hanging out
Speaker 2: before service. He was chatting with a woman April had
Speaker 2: known for years.
Speaker 1: And so I walked down to just say hi to
Speaker 1: this lady and she said, April, this is my son Joe.
Speaker 2: So this was Joe. April had heard about him before,
Speaker 2: but she had pictured him differently. April knew his mom well.
Speaker 2: His mom had told April about how Joe got in
Speaker 2: trouble in Texas. He'd gotten involved with a group of
Speaker 2: guys that were a bad influence on him. Joe had
Speaker 2: just moved to San Diego hoping for a fresh start.
Speaker 1: He was coming out here to start over, I remember
Speaker 1: looking at him and shaking his hand and having the
Speaker 1: thought of Wow, he's got the most gentle eyes I've
Speaker 1: ever seen. It took me by surprise.
Speaker 2: She went about her business that evening, not thinking much
Speaker 2: of it. As she started sound check that night, their
Speaker 2: sound engineer was nowhere to be found. As the service
Speaker 2: grew closer, April started to panic.
Speaker 1: Next thing I know, I look in the back of
Speaker 1: the room at the sound booth, and Joe's in the
Speaker 1: sound booth, and I look at my guitar player and
Speaker 1: I was like, what is he doing. My guitar player
Speaker 1: looks back there and he is like, Oh, that's Joe.
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it. He knows what he's doing. He
Speaker 1: helped build the sound system years ago.
Speaker 2: Joe saved the day.
Speaker 1: It was just a welcome surprise. And after that point
Speaker 1: Joe became our fund man.
Speaker 2: Once a month the worship team would go out to dinner.
Speaker 1: Anytime that we would do that, he would make it
Speaker 1: a point to sit right next to me and talk
Speaker 1: with me. We talked a lot about God and our
Speaker 1: relationship with God, and we got to be good friends.
Speaker 2: As they got closer, it became clear that Joe was
Speaker 2: interested in a romantic relationship.
Speaker 1: He would say, Hey, can we go grab a cup
Speaker 1: of coffee or a slice of pie? And MY response
Speaker 1: was always like no, I'm good, Like we can go
Speaker 1: hang out with the worship team, like we can go
Speaker 1: to dinner with the team or with our friends. But
Speaker 1: I was dead set against doing any one on one
Speaker 1: dating with him.
Speaker 2: April did not want to complicate things with her team,
Speaker 2: Plus she was planning to leave for Australia in a
Speaker 2: matter of months.
Speaker 1: I knew that he had been previously married and had
Speaker 1: kids from his first marriage.
Speaker 2: Despite her rejections, Joe was persistent.
Speaker 1: When I was sick, he would just show up at
Speaker 1: my house with the bowl of soup and a get
Speaker 1: well card.
Speaker 2: And as time went on, his gestures became more romantic.
Speaker 1: He would send me flowers for no reason. He would
Speaker 1: send little notes just to say hi, like a good
Speaker 1: morning message. So I would wake up and there would
Speaker 1: be an email from him saying good morning, beautiful.
Speaker 2: It made her feel special, but April was still planning
Speaker 2: to move to Australia for Hillsong. The night before her flight,
Speaker 2: she had to record a tape of her vocal range.
Speaker 2: Joe offered to help make the recording.
Speaker 1: And so I ran through all my scales, ran through,
Speaker 1: you know, all sorts of different vocal exercises for him
Speaker 1: to record.
Speaker 2: Once they were done recording, April and Joe packed up
Speaker 2: their things and made their way to the parking lot.
Speaker 2: She would be gone for a year. It was hard
Speaker 2: to say goodbye.
Speaker 1: He and I were standing by the cars just chatting,
Speaker 1: and as we're talking, all of a sudden, I just
Speaker 1: kissed him, Like there was no thought to it. I
Speaker 1: just leaned in and kissed him.
Speaker 2: It was so out of character for April. She surprised herself.
Speaker 1: And I was just shaking. I was like, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: I don't even know why I did that. And then
Speaker 1: the next thing I know, he's kissing me. It was
Speaker 1: one of those kisses that just kind of made your
Speaker 1: knees vocal.
Speaker 2: The kiss was electric, in part because they both knew
Speaker 2: April was about to leave the country.
Speaker 1: And then he was like okay, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm good, Like we're good. And I said, I don't
Speaker 1: know what's going to happen because I am leaving, but
Speaker 1: we'll stay in touch. The next morning, I got on
Speaker 1: a plane and went to Sydney.
Speaker 2: When she got there, she jumped right into school. Hillsong
Speaker 2: College is well known for their worship and vocational courses.
Speaker 2: For April being there was a dream come true.
Speaker 1: They had this program where you would get all the
Speaker 1: music theory, learn about worship history, music history within the
Speaker 1: church itself, as well as leadership training. I loved every
Speaker 1: moment of it. Lives breathed eight school.
Speaker 2: April thought that when she arrived in Sydney she'd forget
Speaker 2: about Joe, but she didn't. She found her thoughts drifting
Speaker 2: to him and what he was doing back in San Diego.
Speaker 1: He was working at seven eleven and using his money
Speaker 1: to get phone cards, so every single day he was
Speaker 1: calling me. So we spent a lot of time on
Speaker 1: the phone, which forced us to really learn how to
Speaker 1: communicate with each other.
Speaker 2: On those long phone calls, they learned a lot about
Speaker 2: each other. In many ways, they were opposites.
Speaker 1: I was always so serious and he had the ability
Speaker 1: to really make me laugh and just enjoy the moment.
Speaker 1: He made life fun.
Speaker 2: Joe helped her relax. For the whole year she was
Speaker 2: in Australia, their attraction evolved. The distance brought them even
Speaker 2: closer When April flew back to the States, Joe surprised
Speaker 2: her by picking her up at the airport.
Speaker 1: We're driving back and he pulls off at this rest
Speaker 1: stop and it's a beautiful overlook that overlooks the Pacific
Speaker 1: Go in San Diego. It was a beautiful day, like
Speaker 1: the sun which He's standing behind me with his arms
Speaker 1: around me, and we're just talking and he's pointing out
Speaker 1: into the water and he was like, can you see
Speaker 1: that boat out there? And I was like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't see the boat. He's like, take a moment, close
Speaker 1: your eyes, and when you open your eyes, I want
Speaker 1: you to fixate on where my fingers are pointing. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: got it. And so I'm standing there with my eyes closed,
Speaker 1: and then he says, okay, open them, and when I do,
Speaker 1: his hand is in front of me with a ring
Speaker 1: box and this beautiful Marquis cut diamond ring is in
Speaker 1: the middle of it.
Speaker 2: April stared at Joe dumbfounded.
Speaker 1: And he's like, would you marry me? And I said yes.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm in love with this guy. And he
Speaker 1: has spent so much time talking to me while I've
Speaker 1: been gone, and it just felt right. I was so happy,
Speaker 1: and I just I had felt so safe and loved that.
Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, this was my person.
Speaker 2: Because they had gotten to know each other from Afar,
Speaker 2: their love story unfolded in a backwards way.
Speaker 1: After the proposal. We go on our first official date.
Speaker 1: We went to finding Nemo.
Speaker 2: Even though they didn't have a lot of money, they
Speaker 2: found ways to have dates and just enjoy each other's company.
Speaker 1: We would go for a walk on the beach, or
Speaker 1: we would go someplace and just kind of sit and
Speaker 1: have coffee together. Anything that we could do cheaply we
Speaker 1: would do, going and splitting a meal somewhere. We took
Speaker 1: opportunity to just try and spend time together when we could.
Speaker 1: It was just our own little world at the time.
Speaker 2: They met each other's families and talked about what they
Speaker 2: wanted for their future. Joe had three kids from his
Speaker 2: first marriage. They lived with their mom out of state.
Speaker 2: Joe didn't want any more kids, and April was on
Speaker 2: the same page.
Speaker 1: Kids were never something that I really thought about.
Speaker 2: What mattered more to April was how her parents saw Joe.
Speaker 2: Her mom embraced him right away, but her dad was reluctant.
Speaker 1: My dad was a bit harder of a nut to crack.
Speaker 1: He was always suspicious of him. There were stories that
Speaker 1: Joe would tell and my dad would just be like,
Speaker 1: something doesn't add up.
Speaker 2: After dating long distance between California and Australia, April and
Speaker 2: Joe engaged. They were thrilled, but April's dad had some
Speaker 2: reservations about Joe. He gave him a pass because his
Speaker 2: daughter loved him, and in May of two thousand and four,
Speaker 2: April and Joe got married.
Speaker 1: I didn't want anything elaborate. I just wanted a simple wedding,
Speaker 1: and we had the wedding at a local hotel that
Speaker 1: had just opened up their wedding garden. Our friends and
Speaker 1: family were there. It was beautiful.
Speaker 2: They wrote their own vowels.
Speaker 1: It wasn't the typical you know, I'm going to love, honor,
Speaker 1: and obey you. It was I want to support who
Speaker 1: you are as a person and who God has created
Speaker 1: you to be.
Speaker 2: After the wedding, the couple moved into their first apartment.
Speaker 2: It was the first time April lived with a partner.
Speaker 2: In fact, it was a time of a lot of firsts.
Speaker 1: I'd never been with a man period, Like I'd never
Speaker 1: had sex until him, so he was my first, so
Speaker 1: there was a little bit of am I doing things right?
Speaker 1: Am I pleasing him? Am I making him happy? I
Speaker 1: can't remember the first year. I would wake up in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night and almost freak out because
Speaker 1: there was a boy in my bed.
Speaker 2: After thirty years of being independent, it was a big
Speaker 2: adjustment to live with a man. April quickly realized.
Speaker 1: I'm doing all the dishes. I'm doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry,
Speaker 1: taking the trash out.
Speaker 2: She also noticed a pattern whenever she confronted Joe, he.
Speaker 1: Would step up for a couple of weeks, he would
Speaker 1: take the trash out without me asking, he would clean
Speaker 1: up his own dishes, and then it would slowly slip
Speaker 1: back into me taking care of everything again.
Speaker 2: It was disappointing, but Joe was still the same guy
Speaker 2: she'd fallen in love with. He always took time to
Speaker 2: make her feel seen.
Speaker 1: He was still bringing flowers just because if I had
Speaker 1: a rough day, we would go grab a pizza from
Speaker 1: the pizza place on the corner, just little things that
Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, it's still very thoughtful, and yeah,
Speaker 1: we've got this tension of I'm doing everything, but he's
Speaker 1: still taking care of me.
Speaker 2: Eventually, the couple both found jobs at a local ministry.
Speaker 2: Joe worked in their video department.
Speaker 1: She was editing videos and getting everything ready to go
Speaker 1: on to actual TV. I worked in the prayer center,
Speaker 1: and it was where people could call in that needed
Speaker 1: prayer and they could get a hold of a live
Speaker 1: person that would take time to sit and listen to
Speaker 1: them and just pray with them and talk with them.
Speaker 2: In two thousand and nine, five years into their marriage,
Speaker 2: Joe got a call from his first wife. She needed
Speaker 2: support with the kids, and she asked if Joe's teenage
Speaker 2: son could come live with them. April agreed. She welcomed
Speaker 2: him into their home and into their family.
Speaker 1: He was a great kid. He really wasn't any trouble
Speaker 1: and he lived with us through his entire high school
Speaker 1: years and played football for the high school and all that.
Speaker 1: The kid was tenderhearted, he just wanted to do right.
Speaker 2: It was a really successful arrangement. A few years later,
Speaker 2: Joe's daughter came to stay with them as well. However,
Speaker 2: it was a lot more challenging. Joe's daughter was going
Speaker 2: through a difficult time and Joe was too.
Speaker 1: He had been through bouts of unemployment before, but it
Speaker 1: was while she was here that he went through the
Speaker 1: longest period of unemployment of about two years. And so
Speaker 1: during that time, I'm the soul breadwinner. Joe began to
Speaker 1: drink and his drinking was escalating.
Speaker 2: It was too much pressure on April to support the
Speaker 2: whole family.
Speaker 1: I told him that I was done. I couldn't do
Speaker 1: this anymore.
Speaker 2: They weren't able to provide Joe's daughter with the support
Speaker 2: she needed, so she went home to Texas. Joe was upset.
Speaker 2: He felt like he failed his daughter and in the
Speaker 2: process lost her too. To cope, Joe threw himself into
Speaker 2: his job working for their church, where he was running
Speaker 2: sound and helping them upgrade their audio visual capabilities. The
Speaker 2: church wanted to start live streaming their service so members
Speaker 2: of the congregation could watch from home.
Speaker 1: She was trying to help our church get up on
Speaker 1: live streaming, so he would log onto this website that
Speaker 1: had all these various different live streams.
Speaker 2: On these live streaming sites, Joe would sometimes help other
Speaker 2: church members troubleshoot any technical difficulties.
Speaker 1: I would notice that every once in a while he
Speaker 1: would be chatting with the young girls, not necessarily teenage girls,
Speaker 1: but maybe early twenties, and I would ask what are
Speaker 1: you doing and he's like, oh, I'm trying to help
Speaker 1: them get their streaming correct because their camera's fuzzy. He
Speaker 1: could make it sound so logical and so reasonable.
Speaker 2: It seemed a little odd to April, but she believed Joe.
Speaker 2: He had always been one to help out the kids
Speaker 2: at church, and he took a special interest in mentoring youth.
Speaker 1: At our church. We had had a couple of guys
Speaker 1: come in at one point that were following some of
Speaker 1: the young girls around the church, and Joe he was
Speaker 1: the one that clocked it and went into leadership and
Speaker 1: was like, these guys need to go. What they're doing
Speaker 1: is sketchy. He'd always been that guy, protective of girls,
Speaker 1: protective of youth.
Speaker 2: April was proud of how Joe stood up for their
Speaker 2: young church members. Years passed and April and Joe's relationship studied.
Speaker 2: They were involved in church together, they kept watching their
Speaker 2: favorite sports teams and hung out with friends. The world
Speaker 2: they built together felt comfortable and grounding. Eventually, April and
Speaker 2: Joe felt like they needed something to break up their
Speaker 2: usual routine. They wanted to get back to their community
Speaker 2: and spend time outdoors together, so they decided to volunteer
Speaker 2: at a horse rescue near their house. They each took
Speaker 2: on regular chores at the barn.
Speaker 1: He was feeding the horses in the early mornings or
Speaker 1: in the evenings, and I was involved in helping with
Speaker 1: some of the training. This was just a real place
Speaker 1: of bliss for me and for him, having grown up
Speaker 1: in the country in Texas. He was loving it because
Speaker 1: it just felt like he found home as well.
Speaker 2: They started getting to know the community at the horse rescue,
Speaker 2: including a woman and her teenage daughter that lived on
Speaker 2: the property.
Speaker 1: The daughter would end up feeding on weekends by herself
Speaker 1: at night, and they'd had a couple of instances of
Speaker 1: people trespassing at night that were kind of scary, and
Speaker 1: so Joe volunteered to feed with her.
Speaker 2: She was about the same age as his daughter. April
Speaker 2: suspected Joe was projecting some of his concern for his
Speaker 2: own daughter. Onted this girl at the barn.
Speaker 1: And then there was one day where she needed to
Speaker 1: go pick up a piece of equipment that her dad
Speaker 1: was giving her, so Joe offered to take her in
Speaker 1: one of her girlfriends to go to her Dad's and
Speaker 1: haul it back. They left early in the morning, and
Speaker 1: I spent the day there on the ranch.
Speaker 2: April was taking a break from barn chores when she
Speaker 2: saw one of the two teenage girls wandering up towards
Speaker 2: the stable.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, hey, you're back, and she
Speaker 1: was like, what do you mean. I said, oh, well,
Speaker 1: didn't you go with Joe and the other girl? And
Speaker 1: she was like no, they left before I even got here.
Speaker 2: It made April uncomfortable that Joe was alone with a
Speaker 2: teenage girl.
Speaker 1: I tried calling him multiple times. He never answered. It
Speaker 1: was getting to be about six o'clock in the evening
Speaker 1: and just him and the girl pull up. I take
Speaker 1: one look at him and I'm just livid, like I'm
Speaker 1: so angry.
Speaker 2: But Joe seemed completely unbothered. He walked up to the
Speaker 2: barn like nothing happened.
Speaker 1: I grab him and I pull him to the side.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is wrong with you? He's like what
Speaker 1: do you mean? And I said, do you have any
Speaker 1: idea you just spent all day with a teenage girl
Speaker 1: alone in a vehicle.
Speaker 2: April made it known Joe had broken an unspoken rule
Speaker 2: all the volunteers saw Joe pulling up with this teenage
Speaker 2: girl in his car. The girl's mom agreed.
Speaker 1: Her mom put her foot down and was like, you
Speaker 1: can no longer spend time with my daughter.
Speaker 2: Joe was hurt by this. He felt like he was
Speaker 2: being judged.
Speaker 1: He was emotionally upset about not being able to spend
Speaker 1: time with her. I rationalized, it is that he took
Speaker 1: this other girl and put her in the place of
Speaker 1: his daughter, so it was like he was losing his
Speaker 1: daughter all over again.
Speaker 2: Around this time, their church moved into a new space
Speaker 2: and downsized their staff. Joe lost his job. He was
Speaker 2: really struggling. After searching for a while, he landed a
Speaker 2: job working for a doctor who had a medical TV
Speaker 2: show on a local network.
Speaker 1: I had seen that show and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know who that doctor is. That's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: On the morning of Joe's first day, the couple got
Speaker 2: ready for work together.
Speaker 1: We both got in our cars. He was behind me.
Speaker 1: I went one way and he should have turned left
Speaker 1: at the next light, and I watched him turn right
Speaker 1: at the next light instead of left.
Speaker 2: April had a sinking feeling.
Speaker 1: So I asked him about it. When I got home.
Speaker 1: I said Hey, I saw you turn back towards the house,
Speaker 1: and he was like, oh, yeah, I forgot something, so
Speaker 1: I had to go back home and get it.
Speaker 2: But April was skeptical.
Speaker 1: Nope, something's not right. For a week he did this,
Speaker 1: he got up, got dressed, left with me, and when
Speaker 1: right back home.
Speaker 2: April was convinced that Joe's new job was completely vake.
Speaker 1: Sure enough, within a week he's telling me that the
Speaker 1: doctor's son was going to take his job, and so
Speaker 1: if he didn't have a job again.
Speaker 2: It was unsettling. Now April was on guard, trying to
Speaker 2: discern if Joe was telling the truth. It was starting
Speaker 2: to affect her sense of certainty and trust.
Speaker 1: She could make me feel like I was going insane.
Speaker 1: I legitimately had moments where I was like, am I
Speaker 1: losing my mind? He would tell me that I didn't
Speaker 1: say things that I knew for a fact I said,
Speaker 1: But then he had me second guessing myself because it
Speaker 1: was like, well did I say that? Maybe I didn't
Speaker 1: say that.
Speaker 2: April knew that she shouldn't feel this way, but being
Speaker 2: honest about her concerns felt like poking a sleeping beast.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to deal with the confrontation that
Speaker 1: would come from it, and I was afraid. I was
Speaker 1: afraid of what would come out. I didn't know how
Speaker 1: else to move forward, other than to just bury it
Speaker 1: and move on.
Speaker 2: April was fighting to regain a sense of stability in
Speaker 2: their relationship. Top of the list was getting Joe a
Speaker 2: new job, and April had an idea.
Speaker 1: I kept seeing these ads for driving instructors, and I
Speaker 1: used to joke with him that I never wanted to
Speaker 1: drive with him because he always told me what I
Speaker 1: was doing wrong. And so I was like, you should
Speaker 1: check that out. You love driving and you do love teaching.
Speaker 2: Joe took her advice and reached out to the driving school.
Speaker 1: He went through their training program with the owner. You
Speaker 1: have to do so many hours of in car training
Speaker 1: with another instructor background check, and so he started teaching
Speaker 1: kids how to drive cars and he loved it.
Speaker 2: And April was finding her stride at work too.
Speaker 1: Around the same time that he got his job, I
Speaker 1: started working for my dream company. I'm an executive business
Speaker 1: partner and an executive assistant. It's almost more of a
Speaker 1: chief of staff type role, you know. So it was
Speaker 1: like it felt like things were finally turning around. I
Speaker 1: was making good money. He was making good money, he
Speaker 1: had a steady job. He had found something that he
Speaker 1: absolutely was loving. He would come home at night just
Speaker 1: lit up, like so excited to talk about who he
Speaker 1: had taught and what he had taught, and watching the
Speaker 1: light bulb of understanding go off with these kids. It
Speaker 1: just felt like we had finally reached a point where
Speaker 1: it was like, maybe we're going to be okay. I
Speaker 1: felt like I could suddenly start breathing. I didn't realize
Speaker 1: that I had been living holding my breath, waiting for
Speaker 1: the other shoot a drop.
Speaker 2: One day, April headed into the office early to prepare
Speaker 2: for an event with her company CEO.
Speaker 1: And as I'm pulling into our parking garage at the office,
Speaker 1: I get a ring alert on my phone from our
Speaker 1: doorbell camera and I was like, well, that's weird. So
Speaker 1: I pull up the camera and I see about six
Speaker 1: police officers at my front door. I completely freak out
Speaker 1: because it's like, what is happening.
Speaker 2: She immediately called Joe.
Speaker 1: It rang and rang, and then it went to voicemail,
Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do. I just kept
Speaker 1: trying to call him over and over again.
Speaker 2: Stunned, April began to drive home to figure out what
Speaker 2: was going on.
Speaker 1: He finally calls me and tells me that police officers
Speaker 1: and two detectives showed up with a search warrant and
Speaker 1: they were taking all of the electronics, the computers, iPads,
Speaker 1: apple watch, they took his work vehicle. They were seizing
Speaker 1: all of it.
Speaker 2: Joe told April to wait to come home because he
Speaker 2: didn't want her car to get seized too, So April
Speaker 2: pulled over at a nearby coffee shop and waited. Finally,
Speaker 2: Joe called her and said it was okay for her
Speaker 2: to come home. But home was far from a comforting site.
Speaker 1: The house is just trashed. Everything is pulled out from
Speaker 1: the bookshelves, tables are moved into the middle of the room,
Speaker 1: laundry baskets are upended onto the bed. Everything is just
Speaker 1: torn apart.
Speaker 2: In the middle of their upended home stood Joe.
Speaker 1: He's very calm, and I asked him. I was like,
Speaker 1: did they tell you what is this about? And he
Speaker 1: was like, no, they didn't tell me anything. They just
Speaker 1: said that they had a search warrant. But the search
Speaker 1: warrant doesn't say what the allegations are it doesn't say anything.
Speaker 2: April's mind was spinning, trying to make sense of the
Speaker 2: unsettling scene. She found herself in Logically, I'm thinking, Okay,
Speaker 2: they took his work vehicle.
Speaker 1: So I told him, I said, obviously it has to
Speaker 1: do with your job. They took your car. So can
Speaker 1: you think of anything that you might have done? Because
Speaker 1: sometimes he would come home and say, yeah, one of
Speaker 1: my students just she totally had an anxiety attack and
Speaker 1: like broke down crying in the car kind of thing,
Speaker 1: Like did you maybe hug one of your students because
Speaker 1: you know they were upset? And he was like, no, no, nothing,
Speaker 1: I can't think of anything.
Speaker 2: But the fallout was immediate.
Speaker 1: He gets put on administratively from the company.
Speaker 2: April and Joe were desperate to understand what the police
Speaker 2: were doing at their house.
Speaker 1: We made the decision to hire a pre trial attorney
Speaker 1: to see if we could get any information on what
Speaker 1: the allegations were or what we could do.
Speaker 2: In the weeks that followed, April kept pressing Joe. Surely
Speaker 2: he had to have some inkling of what was going on.
Speaker 1: I was constantly asking him, is there anything? Can you
Speaker 1: think of anything?
Speaker 2: But every time the answer was no, and April wanted
Speaker 2: to believe him. Everything had been going well since Joe
Speaker 2: started his job as a driving instructor.
Speaker 1: He had never once indicated that there was anything on
Speaker 1: his job that was of concern. He had never told
Speaker 1: me anything other than that he was referred all the
Speaker 1: time to other students.
Speaker 2: April was out of ideas. All she could do was
Speaker 2: wait for answers. In the meantime, April and Joe decided
Speaker 2: to move. Had started feeling too small.
Speaker 1: So we started looking for houses and I found one
Speaker 1: about three miles north of where we had been living
Speaker 1: that I just fell in love with, so we signed
Speaker 1: a lease.
Speaker 2: Slowly they started moving boxes to their new house and
Speaker 2: they ordered new furniture too. This place would be a
Speaker 2: fresh start.
Speaker 1: It was January eleventh. He was driving me to work.
Speaker 1: We pull out of our house. We get about two
Speaker 1: blocks from the old house and he looks at me
Speaker 1: and he says, I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.
Speaker 2: April snapped around to face him.
Speaker 1: I was like, why would you say that, and he
Speaker 1: goes well. When we pulled out from the house, two
Speaker 1: vehicles pulled in behind us, and then a marked police
Speaker 1: vehicle pulled in behind those two cars. Within seconds of
Speaker 1: that coming out of his mouth, the squad car lit
Speaker 1: us up and pulled us over.
Speaker 2: April was frantic, but oddly Joe wasn't. It seemed like
Speaker 2: he knew this moment would come.
Speaker 1: He just very calmly handed me his cell phone, put
Speaker 1: his hands on the steering wheel, turned the car off,
Speaker 1: and a uniformed officer comes up to the driver's side
Speaker 1: door tells him to unlock the door. He gets out
Speaker 1: of the car, and I'm just sitting there very quietly
Speaker 1: freaking out. I still have no idea what is going on.
Speaker 2: Finally, two detectives came to the passenger side door where
Speaker 2: April sat. One of them leaned over to talk with her.
Speaker 1: That's when she proceeds to tell me that have been
Speaker 1: investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be
Speaker 1: charged with thirty two counts and that it is eleven girls,
Speaker 1: ten of which are under the age of eighteen.
Speaker 2: One day, when Joe was driving April to work, he
Speaker 2: turned to her and calmly told her that he was
Speaker 2: about to be arrested. Moments later, the cops pulled them
Speaker 2: over and took him out of the car. Leaving April
Speaker 2: alone in the passenger seat, terrified and confused. Finally, a
Speaker 2: detective told April what her husband was being arrested for.
Speaker 1: They have been investigating him for child molestation. He is
Speaker 1: going to be charged with thirty two counts and that
Speaker 1: it is eleven girls, ten of which are under the
Speaker 1: age of eighteen. I just went numb. My entire system
Speaker 1: went into shock.
Speaker 2: April didn't want to believe the detective's words. She had
Speaker 2: long ago come to terms with her husband's flaws, but
Speaker 2: she never imagined him to be a dangerous person.
Speaker 1: My head, I was like, she might be a liar.
Speaker 1: He might be a lousy husband. He might be lazy,
Speaker 1: he might be all these things. He's not a child predator.
Speaker 2: But then the detective explained to April what they found.
Speaker 1: When they took his vehicle. Hidden underneath the steering column,
Speaker 1: they found a small camera that would allow him to
Speaker 1: video and take pictures of girls and their private areas,
Speaker 1: and that they have proof of it on his computer.
Speaker 2: The evidence was irrefutable, and there was a lot of it.
Speaker 2: Then the detective began to ask April questions.
Speaker 1: She's like, did you ever purchase a camera for the car?
Speaker 1: And I said, yeah, we did. And she goes, what
Speaker 1: did he tell you about that camera? And I said
Speaker 1: just that he wanted to have a camera in the
Speaker 1: vehicle to protect not only himself, but to protect the
Speaker 1: people that he was teaching to drive.
Speaker 2: When Joe said he was using that camera for safety,
Speaker 2: April believed him, But in reality, the camera was part
Speaker 2: of Joe's twisted crimes. He'd been sexually abusing young girls
Speaker 2: who were his driving students. He did it while they
Speaker 2: were driving his driver's ed car was a trap for
Speaker 2: the girls defending themselves, even just taking their hands off
Speaker 2: the wheel could mean risking their life. On top of that,
Speaker 2: Joe videotaped the attacks and saved those videos to his
Speaker 2: personal devices so he could rewatch them. Once one girl
Speaker 2: came forward, it was like a dan broke. April was
Speaker 2: in shock, and the detective could see that. She told
Speaker 2: April that she would follow up with her in a
Speaker 2: few days time. The police drove away with Joe in
Speaker 2: the backseat. April sat in her car, the silence ringing
Speaker 2: in her ears. She didn't want to be alone with
Speaker 2: her thoughts, so she started making calls.
Speaker 1: I made a phone call to the attorney told them
Speaker 1: what happened. I tried calling my dad, tried calling my parents,
Speaker 1: and they weren't awake yet. Then I call a friend
Speaker 1: of mine and I'm like, I need you and your
Speaker 1: husband to come help me because I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do, and I need somebody here can think because
Speaker 1: I can't think right now. So they met me at
Speaker 1: the new house, and I felt like I was spending
Speaker 1: the day just in limbell. I'm waiting to hear anything
Speaker 1: from Joe or the attorney. I'm waiting to hear from
Speaker 1: my pastor. I'm just waiting.
Speaker 2: She didn't know what she should do next.
Speaker 1: It was like everything in my life just exploded all
Speaker 1: at once. I was scrambling to try and grab any
Speaker 1: pieces that I could hold on to to just try
Speaker 1: and make sense of what was happening, but there was
Speaker 1: nothing to grab a hold of.
Speaker 2: Finally, her pastor called her back.
Speaker 1: He's like, April, why did I just get a phone
Speaker 1: call from a reporter. They're asking me about Joe.
Speaker 2: Joe's arrest was all over the news.
Speaker 1: Within four hours. The San Diego Police Department did a
Speaker 1: press release where they put his name out there. They
Speaker 1: listed every single charge, everything from harassment of a minor
Speaker 1: to sexual assault, and it went across the news nationwide.
Speaker 1: His brother, who lives in Texas, heard about it before
Speaker 1: I could even call him.
Speaker 2: April's phone was ringing all day, and one of those
Speaker 2: calls was from Joe in jail.
Speaker 1: In that phone call, he was just very calm. There
Speaker 1: was no emotion. He was just like, they've charged me
Speaker 1: as a child molester. It was just almost very matter
Speaker 1: of fact.
Speaker 2: April knew the facts of the case, she decided to
Speaker 2: give him one chance to be honest with her.
Speaker 1: I asked him, is any of this true? And he's like, no, no,
Speaker 1: none of it is true. I'm like, Joe, it's eleven girls.
Speaker 1: He's like, I know, but you know, no, it's not true.
Speaker 2: She knew he was lying. That Tuesday was Joe's arraignment.
Speaker 2: April decided to go. It would be hard to see him,
Speaker 2: but she needed to see what he had done and
Speaker 2: she wanted to know what was going to happen to him.
Speaker 1: When I went into the courtroom, I had to go
Speaker 1: and give them my name and who I was there
Speaker 1: for in my relationship to the person that I was
Speaker 1: there for. So I told him, I said, here's my name,
Speaker 1: I'm here for Richard JESSEP. Banks. I'm his spouse. And
Speaker 1: then the woman that was right behind me, she gave
Speaker 1: her name. She looked at me. I looked at her,
Speaker 1: and she said, I'm here for Richard Joe Banks. I'm
Speaker 1: the mother of one of his and she stopped. She
Speaker 1: looked at me again, and I said victims, and she
Speaker 1: goes victims. I looked at her and I just started
Speaker 1: crying and I said, I am so sorry. I had
Speaker 1: no idea that any of this was happening. I didn't know,
Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry for the damage. And she came
Speaker 1: over to me and she just hugged me and she said,
Speaker 1: I know, and it's gonna be okay. We both just
Speaker 1: stood there hugging each other and just sobbing.
Speaker 2: Then the arraignment got underway.
Speaker 1: The DA stands up and she talks through how many
Speaker 1: charges there are, and then he goes through every single
Speaker 1: one of the girls. Basically, he doesn't name any of them.
Speaker 1: He just uses their initials. But he's like, you will
Speaker 1: not speak contact see each of the girls. As says
Speaker 1: I understood. He says, yes, sir, I understand. That was
Speaker 1: the one and only time that I went to court
Speaker 1: for him, because after that, it was like, I'm done.
Speaker 1: I'm done.
Speaker 2: April focused her energy on moving into her house, and
Speaker 2: suddenly the fact that Joe had never called this place
Speaker 2: home felt like a breath.
Speaker 1: Of fresh air. I spent the rest of that week
Speaker 1: getting everything set up in my new house, with all
Speaker 1: new furniture that he's never sat on, never touched, never
Speaker 1: slept in.
Speaker 2: But she still had all of Joe's belongings.
Speaker 1: I remembered that I still had his cell phone, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I wonder if there's anything here that
Speaker 1: I need to see. So I started looking through it
Speaker 1: and came across a folder that was the same name
Speaker 1: as the video camera that we had purchased for his
Speaker 1: work vehicle. So I pull up those files and I
Speaker 1: started looking through them, and sure enough, there's pictures of
Speaker 1: him touching girls. I just got sick and I threw
Speaker 1: the phone. I had now officially seen for myself what
Speaker 1: he had done, and I just like, I just was sick.
Speaker 1: I was sick.
Speaker 2: The next day, April had dinner with her parents and
Speaker 2: told them that her marriage with Joe was over.
Speaker 1: My dad, he looks at me, he goes, I want
Speaker 1: to be clear You're getting a divorce, and I said, yes,
Speaker 1: I am getting a divorce. Both my mom and dad
Speaker 1: were so relieved because they had spent years loving Joe
Speaker 1: and really taking him under their wing and treating him
Speaker 1: like family. But for both of them, there had always
Speaker 1: been this underlying mistrust that I never knew about. I
Speaker 1: never knew they had that.
Speaker 2: As she disentangled herself from Joe, more and more lies
Speaker 2: began to emerge. April and Joe had been planning to
Speaker 2: take a cruise to celebrate their twentieth anniversary. She'd been
Speaker 2: giving him money every month out of her paycheck and
Speaker 2: he was putting it towards the cruise. But after the arrest,
Speaker 2: I went.
Speaker 1: To cancel our twentieth anniversary cruise. He had told me
Speaker 1: he had put close to three thousand dollars down, so
Speaker 1: I'm expecting to get some of that back. But he
Speaker 1: had only put two hundred dollars down.
Speaker 2: So what was he doing with that money from April's paychecks?
Speaker 2: She isn't sure, but in the course of his sentencing,
Speaker 2: she found out he was giving money to the girls
Speaker 2: he sexually abused.
Speaker 1: She was paying students or students' families when a student
Speaker 1: would pass their driver's test. It was presented as a
Speaker 1: congratulatory gift, and some of the girls that he was
Speaker 1: giving money to were ones that he violated, but I
Speaker 1: personally think that he was using it in some way
Speaker 1: as a bribe to keep them quiet.
Speaker 2: In the end, Joe pled guilty in exchange for a
Speaker 2: lighter sentence. He received five years in state prison. Once
Speaker 2: he was sent away, April made one final appointment to
Speaker 2: speak with Joe face to face.
Speaker 1: I knew it was going to be the last time
Speaker 1: that I would see him, So I went to the prison,
Speaker 1: sat down across from him, and I looked at him
Speaker 1: and I said, do you understand what you've done?
Speaker 2: Joe stared blankly back at her.
Speaker 1: He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said,
Speaker 1: but why would they continue to refer me? And my
Speaker 1: job just dropped. It was like, so that made it
Speaker 1: okay because you were still being referred. You were probably
Speaker 1: being referred by their parents, who had no idea that
Speaker 1: you were doing this to them.
Speaker 2: Joe had no remorse. He spoke about his crimes like
Speaker 2: he was discussing the weather.
Speaker 1: That's when I realized there was something seriously disconnected something
Speaker 1: seriously wrong with him, because what he did was absolutely horrific,
Speaker 1: and there's nothing that indicates that he understands, or is remorseful,
Speaker 1: or has any ounce of understanding of what he has done.
Speaker 2: April's community rallied around her.
Speaker 1: I had a friend stay with me for about three
Speaker 1: months during that time, just so I wasn't alone. I've
Speaker 1: got some incredible friends that I've made over the years
Speaker 1: that I didn't realize how incredible they were until this.
Speaker 2: She had a great support system, but there was a
Speaker 2: lot of internal work. She had a face on her own.
Speaker 1: During that time. I'm going through a lot of therapy.
Speaker 1: I was seeing a therapist at the time about three
Speaker 1: times a week. I needed to talk to somebody that
Speaker 1: wasn't emotionally connected to any of it.
Speaker 2: Slowly, she began to unpack the emotions she had been carrying.
Speaker 1: There was so much grieving happening, Grieving the life that
Speaker 1: I thought I had, grieving the marriage that I wish
Speaker 1: I had had, grieving the marriage I did have.
Speaker 2: But underneath the grief was something else, so.
Speaker 1: Much anger, anger for how I was treated. Still to
Speaker 1: this day, I get so angry because I feel like
Speaker 1: his victims deserve so much much more than what they're getting,
Speaker 1: so much more. He took a plea deal, and the
Speaker 1: junch gave him five years with time served. Like it's
Speaker 1: not fair. It's not fair to the girls. They deserve
Speaker 1: so much more than that.
Speaker 2: Because they reminders, the full names of Joe's victims weren't released.
Speaker 2: This was to protect the girl's privacy. While she has
Speaker 2: never met them personally, April thinks of them often.
Speaker 1: I don't know who his victims are, but if for
Speaker 1: some reason any of them ever listen, I would say
Speaker 1: that I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what you've
Speaker 1: been through. If I had known, I would have done
Speaker 1: everything within my power to stop it.
Speaker 2: Since his arrest, the number of known victims has risen
Speaker 2: to eighteen. Joe could be out of prison as soon
Speaker 2: as spring of twenty twenty six. But I'll never have
Speaker 2: a place in April's world again.
Speaker 1: I have no need to see him. I don't talk
Speaker 1: to him. I have nothing to do with him.
Speaker 2: At this point, April has been busy building a life
Speaker 2: that brings her joy.
Speaker 1: It's just me and my dog and my cat. I'm
Speaker 1: living by myself. My home is my sanctuary. Now I'm
Speaker 1: rediscovering reading. I'm getting to explore new foods. I've gotten
Speaker 1: to travel quite a bit because there are places that
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to go to and he never did.
Speaker 1: I'm finding a whole new sense of freedom.
Speaker 2: What April endured with Joe has forced her to reckon
Speaker 2: with what it means to truly know someone. We end
Speaker 2: every weekly episode with the same question, why do you
Speaker 2: want to share your story?
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about it because finding this podcast
Speaker 1: was a huge part of what helped me to hear
Speaker 1: experiences that so closely mirror your own. There's something different
Speaker 1: about that. I suddenly realized that I wasn't alone. Some
Speaker 1: people have the uncanny ability to hide the deepest, darkest
Speaker 1: parts of themselves from those that are closest to them,
Speaker 1: and sometimes maybe even from themselves. There's no way to
Speaker 1: ever really truly know a person, and I just have
Speaker 1: to resign myself to the fact that this was a
Speaker 1: part of him that he was never going to allow
Speaker 1: anyone to see until it was too late.
Speaker 2: On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly, I'm in.
Speaker 3: Shock and disbelief, like just nauseatingly sick the reality. I
Speaker 3: guess us is slowly sinking in that my life is
Speaker 3: all a lie. He's in the kitchen going to the
Speaker 3: coffee machine to make himself an espresso.
Speaker 1: And he literally looks at me and shrugs, and he's like, So.
Speaker 2: If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal
Speaker 2: team or want to tell us your Betrayal story, email
Speaker 2: us at Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com, or follow us on Instagram at
Speaker 2: Betrayal Pod. You can also connect with me on Instagram
Speaker 2: at It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter, view additional content,
Speaker 2: and connect with the Betrayal community, join our substack at
Speaker 2: Betrayal dot substack dot com. We're grateful for your support.
Speaker 2: One way to show support is by subscribing to our
Speaker 2: show on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and
Speaker 2: review Betrayal. Five star reviews go along a big thank
Speaker 2: you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production
Speaker 2: of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group, in
Speaker 2: partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by
Speaker 2: Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by me
Speaker 2: Andrea Gunning. This episode was written and produced by Olivia
Speaker 2: Hewitt and Monique Leboard, with additional production from Ben Fetterman.
Speaker 2: Casting support from Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali
Speaker 2: Perry and Jessica Krincheck. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio.
Speaker 2: Additional audio editing by Tanner Robbins. Betrayal's theme composed by
Speaker 2: Oliver Bains. Music library provided by my Music and For
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