Speaker 1: Wait a minute, I'm trying to make everyone happy. I'm
Speaker 1: doing all this stuff for everyone else but myself. Let
Speaker 1: me just like pull back a second focus on myself,
Speaker 1: and then it seemed like everyone else was happier. The
Speaker 1: best selling authoring the most.
Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness podcast On.
Speaker 3: Purpose with Jay Shetty. Everyone, Welcome back to On Purpose,
Speaker 3: the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to
Speaker 3: each and every one of you that come back every
Speaker 3: week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. And I
Speaker 3: am so excited to be talking to you today. I
Speaker 3: can't believe it.
Speaker 2: My new book, Eight Rules of Love is out and
Speaker 2: I cannot wait to share it with you. I am
Speaker 2: so so excited for you to read this book, for
Speaker 2: you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook.
Speaker 2: If you haven't got it already, make sure you go
Speaker 2: to eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated to
Speaker 2: anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love.
Speaker 2: So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up,
Speaker 2: or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book.
Speaker 2: And I'd love to invite you to come and see
Speaker 2: me for my global tour.
Speaker 3: Love Rules. Go to jshadytour dot com to learn more
Speaker 3: information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait
Speaker 3: to see you this year. Now, today's guest is someone
Speaker 3: that I've been wanting to speak to for years, and
Speaker 3: I'm so grateful that I finally have the opportunity. I
Speaker 3: first DMD her in twenty eighteen. I'm going to shore
Speaker 3: in a second saying Kim, I would love to interview.
Speaker 3: What did I know? I didn't even have a podcast then,
Speaker 3: but I'm so grateful that five years on, she's in
Speaker 3: the studio. I'm speaking about the one and only Kim Kardashian, entrepreneur,
Speaker 3: business mogul, and producer. Kim first burst onto the scene
Speaker 3: in two thousand and seven after the premiere of a
Speaker 3: hit E entertainment reality series, Keeping Up with the Kardashians,
Speaker 3: which my wife is a huge fan of, that ended
Speaker 3: in twenty twenty one after twenty seasons, and the Kardashian
Speaker 3: and her family announced in December of twenty twenty that
Speaker 3: they had signed a multi year deal with Hulu to
Speaker 3: create The Kardashians, which began airing in April twenty twenty
Speaker 3: two and is currently filming season three and they're here
Speaker 3: right now. Kim is passionate about the fight for criminal
Speaker 3: justice reform and has been studying for a law degree
Speaker 3: through the apprenticeship program in the state of California. In
Speaker 3: twenty twenty, she launched a podcast with Spotify, Kim Kardashian's
Speaker 3: The System The Case of Kevin Keith, which went to
Speaker 3: number one. Kim's the founder of Skim's Skin by Kim,
Speaker 3: and in September of twenty twenty two, she announced the
Speaker 3: launch of private equity from Sky Partners with Jay Simmons.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the show, Kim Kardashian.
Speaker 1: Kim, thank you so much for having me. Thank you
Speaker 1: for being I believe you dmd me I did two thousand.
Speaker 3: Show your team. Yeah, I want to show you because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sorrying me so long to go back to you.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not saying it to make you feel sorry.
Speaker 3: I'm saying it because I want you to know how
Speaker 3: much I appreciate you being here. My gosh, there you go.
Speaker 1: Yes. August four, twenty eighteen. Would love to meditate together.
Speaker 1: Let me know if it's something you'd like to try.
Speaker 1: I would love to interview you. Here we go, well,
Speaker 1: here we are.
Speaker 3: Here we are. Yeah, I wanted to say this on camera.
Speaker 3: We were just talking about it offline just now. But
Speaker 3: your family has been so wonderful to me in so
Speaker 3: many ways. And I've had so many beautiful interactions with
Speaker 3: Chloe Firestivall.
Speaker 1: She loves you. She's where I first became aware of
Speaker 1: you from Chloe sending videos and clips of some of
Speaker 1: the really positive things that you put out there in
Speaker 1: the universe. And we have a positivity chat for our
Speaker 1: family and so we put really sweet things to get
Speaker 1: us in good moods and motivated and start our day
Speaker 1: in a really good space. And so you're in there
Speaker 1: a lot o.
Speaker 3: I love that. That makes me happy. Yeah, And she
Speaker 3: was the first, and then I recently connected to the
Speaker 3: Candle and she came on the show and it was
Speaker 3: just beautiful how openly she sard. And then that led
Speaker 3: to me meeting your mom at the People's Choice Awards
Speaker 3: and then having dinner with her recently, and I was
Speaker 3: just I want to say this because I think people
Speaker 3: just don't.
Speaker 1: Understand I've been to a Taco Tuesday.
Speaker 3: I have not been to a Taco Tuesday, So.
Speaker 1: Sorry, no tattle Tuesday, tattle free Tuesday.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm getting it. I don't want to get in trouble.
Speaker 3: Your mum had been nicest thing. So my wife, my
Speaker 3: wife wasn't there with me, but we're both vegan, and
Speaker 3: so she had Chloe's chef make us a vegan meal.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I was saying to you earlier that I literally
Speaker 3: felt like I was at my friend's mom's house. Like
Speaker 3: that's how she made me feel, really beautiful feelings.
Speaker 1: So she is the best. She's so warm. She just
Speaker 1: loves everyone to feel welcomed. She makes sure everyone is
Speaker 1: thought of. And that's one of my favorite qualities of
Speaker 1: her that I will never get over and never forget
Speaker 1: and always it's just how she makes people feel.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I hope you feel very welcome and safe today.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 3: I don't want to dive right in. I was thinking
Speaker 3: about this. You've been traveling so much lately. I feel
Speaker 3: from what I see on Instagram, like you've been to
Speaker 3: Paris and Japan and London, and then you're going to
Speaker 3: be starting to shoot for the new show, and I
Speaker 3: just feel like you're always on the move. I wonder
Speaker 3: when was the last time you went somewhere where someone
Speaker 3: didn't know who you were or actually, was there a
Speaker 3: moment where someone said to you, who are you? What
Speaker 3: do you do? Like? When was the last time you
Speaker 3: had an interaction like that? You know what?
Speaker 1: In Japan it's like that. You know, everyone's really respectful,
Speaker 1: even if they might recognize you, they don't ask for photos,
Speaker 1: and it's a really amazing experience. I think it's important,
Speaker 1: you know, just to listen. I love my life. I
Speaker 1: love everything that comes along with it. I am not complaining,
Speaker 1: but a little glimpse of that, I think, especially for
Speaker 1: the little ones, is so good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no's that's definitely a beautiful experience. I think it's
Speaker 3: nice for everyone to feel wanted and loved and then
Speaker 3: also feel unseen. Yeah, like we almost crave both of those.
Speaker 3: I was thinking about it today. You're always surrounded by
Speaker 3: film crews, and you know, you have like three hundred
Speaker 3: and fifty two million people that follow you on Instagram.
Speaker 3: I wonder do you ever do you prioritize time alone?
Speaker 3: Do you get time alone? And what does that look like?
Speaker 1: I do? I get up really early. My morning workout
Speaker 1: is my I don't want to say therapy session because
Speaker 1: it's not like I'm really communicating things. But even if
Speaker 1: I'm quiet and I'm in my zone, that's my mental
Speaker 1: health check. Every morning. I love my workout. It keeps
Speaker 1: me sane. I can't say that enough. That's my time
Speaker 1: in the morning. Then as soon as everyone starts to
Speaker 1: get up for school, the madness happens, and it's about
Speaker 1: two hours of madness from getting four kids ready in
Speaker 1: the morning, fed out the door to school. I drop
Speaker 1: off school every day, and then I have a little
Speaker 1: bit of time i'd say about twenty minutes driving back
Speaker 1: where I just blast my music. I don't take any calls.
Speaker 1: That's my alone time. I love it. And then I
Speaker 1: get to the house and I start my full work
Speaker 1: day and I'm committed and focused, and then the madness
Speaker 1: of bad time, bedtime, dinner time, and once four babies
Speaker 1: are asleep, and I just cherish that time at night
Speaker 1: when everyone sleep and I can watch whatever show I
Speaker 1: want and just have some alone time. So I do
Speaker 1: take the time for myself. I think it's really important.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, you said something beautiful before we started recording,
Speaker 3: and I definitely want to go in that direction because
Speaker 3: you were talking about the different platforms and how you
Speaker 3: can show different parts of yourself, but you came here
Speaker 3: because there was something specific, and I'd love to hear
Speaker 3: that because I want to go in that direction with you.
Speaker 1: I love your podcast. I've seen it and i've seen
Speaker 1: I think I just love seeing the reels that pop
Speaker 1: up with just a quick message that'll get you through
Speaker 1: the day, that will remind you who you are, remind
Speaker 1: you what you need to come across and see at
Speaker 1: that moment in that day and carry you through the day.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I think it's important for people to express like
Speaker 1: how they feel and who they are a little bit
Speaker 1: deeper and what's in their heart. And I think that's
Speaker 1: kind of what this podcast is about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think, thank you for trusting me. I
Speaker 3: really do value this and I don't take it for granted.
Speaker 3: But the interesting thing there is, I feel like there's
Speaker 3: a beautiful statement in Japanese culture says that we have
Speaker 3: three faces. One face we show to the world, the
Speaker 3: second face we show to our friends and family, and
Speaker 3: the third face no one sees. And I wonder, when
Speaker 3: you're talking about your values and who you are, what's
Speaker 3: the part of you that you think no one gets
Speaker 3: to see in all these other places that you want
Speaker 3: to share today.
Speaker 1: I definitely think I show all my faces, but I
Speaker 1: do think that people pick and choose what they want
Speaker 1: to take from you. I do share journeys of mine
Speaker 1: that have been challenges, whether it's like law school and
Speaker 1: different projects and how starting a business and all of that.
Speaker 1: It definitely weave that in throughout. But I think that
Speaker 1: anytime you have the opportunity to express yourself in a
Speaker 1: more meaningful way, I think it's always a good thing
Speaker 1: to do, especially since I'm just a big fan of
Speaker 1: you and what you represent and who you are. So
Speaker 1: I always love to share my tips and anything that
Speaker 1: I've learned along the way, because God knows, it is
Speaker 1: not easy. Yeah, Like parenting is so hard, family dynamics, relationships,
Speaker 1: it is so hard.
Speaker 3: It's really interesting you say that, because when I was
Speaker 3: speaking to your mum, she was saying that about you.
Speaker 3: She was saying that you're the person that for anyone
Speaker 3: in your family, no matter how busy you are, you'll
Speaker 3: go completely out of your way. She was telling me
Speaker 3: about a particular incident, but she was just saying that
Speaker 3: you will just dive in book everyone on the flight,
Speaker 3: get everyone there, get to that person, help them, support them,
Speaker 3: and even when it's someone who's not directly connected to
Speaker 3: you but is indirectly connected. And yeah, I'm sure you
Speaker 3: know what I'm talking about, but the idea of just
Speaker 3: you reached that far out. And when I was hearing
Speaker 3: that about you from her, I was thinking that that
Speaker 3: takes so much compassion and care from your side, And
Speaker 3: those are not two words that on some of the
Speaker 3: other platforms that people may care about you. But that's
Speaker 3: what I'm getting talking to your mother about you. And
Speaker 3: I wonder how have you. I feel family is the
Speaker 3: cause for so much stress for people. It's the cause
Speaker 3: for so much anxiety for people, And as you said,
Speaker 3: it's hard, how have you continued to lean in to
Speaker 3: compassion and care even when it's easier to compare and
Speaker 3: criticize and complain.
Speaker 1: Well with family, I mean I was always raised like,
Speaker 1: no matter what, blood is thicker than water, there's no
Speaker 1: other options. So we definitely go through our things as sisters.
Speaker 1: There's no other options, Like we will work it out,
Speaker 1: like we are family, we are sisters. We will figure
Speaker 1: it out. And I think you just have to. I
Speaker 1: think also more compassion comes with age and the more
Speaker 1: things that you've been through and especially I think my
Speaker 1: heart has opened up so much in that space, just
Speaker 1: spending time even with people behind bars that I'm fighting
Speaker 1: for and I might not have even had the slightest
Speaker 1: idea of what someone's gone through or even understood taking
Speaker 1: the time to listen to people more than maybe speaking
Speaker 1: and making it about yourself, and my compassion has just
Speaker 1: grown and my empathy has grown on another level. You
Speaker 1: can't really judge people for their pace on when they
Speaker 1: choose to really want to dig deep into their own
Speaker 1: compassion and empathy and when people choose to grow and evolve,
Speaker 1: But it's so nice to have people that support that
Speaker 1: journey and grow with you, because once you realize that
Speaker 1: this life really isn't about you and it's about helping
Speaker 1: as many people as you can, all these doors open
Speaker 1: up for you and your mind just opens up, and
Speaker 1: it's a really great place to be when you feel
Speaker 1: like you have enough would chase things for so long
Speaker 1: and when you just feel content, it's such a good
Speaker 1: place to be and it's such an like allows for
Speaker 1: so much more compassion.
Speaker 3: I think, and I want everyone to go back and
Speaker 3: listen to that part. I feel like you just beautifully
Speaker 3: defined compassion, And I'm going to try and reiterate what
Speaker 3: you just said. Yeah, it was just it was so
Speaker 3: well said, because I think people think about compassion as care,
Speaker 3: and you just defined it by pace, and I think
Speaker 3: when you're patient for the pace at which people grow
Speaker 3: and evolve, that actually is compassion.
Speaker 1: There's nothing worse when someone is like so woke and
Speaker 1: they they're on this therapy journey and they expect you
Speaker 1: to be right there with them. But it's a beautiful
Speaker 1: thing to sit back and watch people make mistakes, learn
Speaker 1: from their mistakes, grow and evolve, and just be there
Speaker 1: to hold their hand and support them. I think that's
Speaker 1: what anyone would want. I've seen so many people on
Speaker 1: these like self help journeys that just aren't as happy,
Speaker 1: you know, And I think you just have to like
Speaker 1: sit back and do what works for you and move
Speaker 1: at your own pace and understand that it's okay that
Speaker 1: you're not at the same level as someone else.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just such a like everything happens the
Speaker 1: way it's supposed to do. I love just people in
Speaker 1: their own journeys and I never try to be so
Speaker 1: preachy or to think that someone has to be in
Speaker 1: my place and at the level where I've evolved too.
Speaker 1: It's great when your friends have the same kind of
Speaker 1: epiphanies as you and you want the same things. But
Speaker 1: then sometimes it's just not like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, definitely. You brought two things to my mind.
Speaker 3: One was what real love is like when you really
Speaker 3: love your family. You don't love them because they change. Yeah,
Speaker 3: your patient with them as they try to change. That's
Speaker 3: what love is, because they may or may never get
Speaker 3: to the other side. And the other thing that came
Speaker 3: to mind is something my teachers would often tell me,
Speaker 3: my Monk teaches. They would often repeat to me that
Speaker 3: you're never trying to get someone to the next step
Speaker 3: in your journey. You're trying to get them to the
Speaker 3: next step in their journey.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I think you're so right that when we're doing
Speaker 3: self work, we are constantly preaching to other people about
Speaker 3: the things we want to hear, yeah, and the things
Speaker 3: we want to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And like self work can just be so different
Speaker 1: for so many people, you know, Like my morning workouts,
Speaker 1: I swear that's my self work. My drive in the
Speaker 1: car every day, blasting whatever music I want to like,
Speaker 1: that is my meditation that's my zone and that works
Speaker 1: for me. You know, when I need help and I
Speaker 1: need help figuring out different parenting things and different methods
Speaker 1: that I can use, I will reach out and get
Speaker 1: the help that I need when I need it, for sure.
Speaker 1: But I also think there's just there's no like right
Speaker 1: method of what works for everyone. You know, It's like
Speaker 1: whatever works for you, you good for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely absolutely. And I feel like when people
Speaker 3: see you, and even even now you're talking, you have
Speaker 3: so much trust in yourself or trust in your inner voice.
Speaker 3: That doesn't mean I don't believe you're saying I always
Speaker 3: get it right or this is the only way. What
Speaker 3: you're actually saying is I've learned to trust my voice.
Speaker 3: And I wonder was there a time when you didn't
Speaker 3: trust that voice and or can you remember the first
Speaker 3: time where you started to hear it? Like I remember,
Speaker 3: the first time I've really started to hear my voice
Speaker 3: deeply was probably when I was fourteen years old, and
Speaker 3: that's when I could hear this voice inside of myself
Speaker 3: that was like, Jay, this is who you are, this
Speaker 3: is what you care about, this is what matters to you.
Speaker 3: You don't need to be this or be that or
Speaker 3: do it this way? And I remember I started listening
Speaker 3: to it then and now that in a voice is
Speaker 3: really loud. Yeah, it's always there.
Speaker 1: But I wish i'd listened to my inner voice at fourteen.
Speaker 3: Do you remember when you first started like, because when
Speaker 3: I'm speaking, he's doing you Now you're just like, yeah, Like,
Speaker 3: I'm very comfortable with people being themselves and I'm comfortable
Speaker 3: with who I are, which is beautiful. But when did that?
Speaker 3: I feel so many people want to live that way,
Speaker 3: but that's the thing we all struggle with.
Speaker 1: It definitely didn't come right away. You know. I was
Speaker 1: a people pleaser and I would make decisions based off
Speaker 1: of other people's happiness for so long, and I would say, honestly,
Speaker 1: in the last few years, definitely at forty, you know,
Speaker 1: I figured it out of just following my happiness, which
Speaker 1: was really, I think an important place for me to
Speaker 1: get to because I always put other people's happiness over
Speaker 1: my own. And it doesn't mean you disregard other people's feelings,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean you don't care and you don't
Speaker 1: love them, but it is a great place to be
Speaker 1: when you finally put yourself first. And I will say
Speaker 1: that took a long time, and that was like relying
Speaker 1: on other people for confidence in business decisions. And it's
Speaker 1: great to have your team and to always like bounce
Speaker 1: ideas and make sure that you're collectively picking the right
Speaker 1: choice and work thing for you. But true confidence where
Speaker 1: you feel you're making the right decisions, you know you
Speaker 1: got it. You are thinking about yourself first, and not
Speaker 1: just in a selfish way, but like in a protecting
Speaker 1: your heart way. It feels really good and I might
Speaker 1: not have gotten there until I was literally forty.
Speaker 3: Hey everyone, it's Jay Schetty and I'm thrilled to announce
Speaker 3: my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can
Speaker 3: see my on Purpose podcast live and in person. Join
Speaker 3: me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations
Speaker 3: with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert,
Speaker 3: or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences
Speaker 3: designed to inspire growth, spark learning, and build real connections.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on
Speaker 3: cell now, Head to Jayshetty dot me and get yours today.
Speaker 3: And what do you think it was about the last
Speaker 3: few years where you had to tend towards that that
Speaker 3: pushed you there.
Speaker 1: I've never been an unhappy person. I'm always really happy
Speaker 1: with my surroundings. I don't need people to make me happy.
Speaker 1: I'm not really ever searching for something. I'm really content.
Speaker 1: My babies make me happy, my family, my life, you know,
Speaker 1: experiences make me happy. But when you just look around
Speaker 1: and when there's like tension and stress that is just
Speaker 1: not necessary from work, from relationships, from friendships, and you
Speaker 1: just decide to be still and not try to please everyone,
Speaker 1: it becomes just really clear, and you realize that you
Speaker 1: just want to be happy and you want to share
Speaker 1: this life, and that these experiences with your group of
Speaker 1: people that you trust and you love and who are
Speaker 1: super loyal. Like life is always going to be stressful
Speaker 1: and you can't control half of it. But if you
Speaker 1: can control what you put out and how you react
Speaker 1: to all of life's stresses and your response to all
Speaker 1: of that, and realizing that you could eliminate a lot
Speaker 1: of those stresses with making yourself happy first and choosing yourself,
Speaker 1: then you know you're on the right path. And once
Speaker 1: I did that, and once I chose to choose myself
Speaker 1: and be happy, so many opportunities just opened up, things
Speaker 1: that I never thought in a million years would come
Speaker 1: my way. It seemed like clear as day that the
Speaker 1: universe was rewarding me for choosing myself and like elevating,
Speaker 1: like getting to the next level in the video game,
Speaker 1: like I had to get here, and I was always
Speaker 1: like here, just in my growth process, and once I
Speaker 1: chose myself, it was like, oh my god, the whole
Speaker 1: the universe is opening up for you, and all these
Speaker 1: opportunities are coming my way. And those were the confirmations
Speaker 1: that I was heading in the right direction. I remember
Speaker 1: saying that to one of my sisters. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it is so crazy. I got this opportunity,
Speaker 1: this opportunity, this is changing, this is changing, and it
Speaker 1: seemed like all these amazing things started to happen in
Speaker 1: my life. When I just took a second, was still realized,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I'm trying to make everyone happy. I'm
Speaker 1: doing all this stuff for everyone else but myself. Let
Speaker 1: me just like pull back a second focus on myself,
Speaker 1: and then it seemed like everyone else was happier because
Speaker 1: everything was just falling into place. And that was like
Speaker 1: I saw it clear as day. And that would like
Speaker 1: push me and motivate me to continue to just be
Speaker 1: happy and do what I wanted to do instead of
Speaker 1: what other people wanted to do. And that was like,
Speaker 1: it was like a good feeling. It really like showed
Speaker 1: me that I was making the right decisions.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy for you. Thank you genuinely and dad.
Speaker 1: A good place to be when you're genuinely a happy person.
Speaker 1: You know. Complaints, Yeah, not taking things too seriously. Not
Speaker 1: taking yourself too seriously is also a little key to happiness.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the energy that gets lost in worrying
Speaker 3: about something versus working towards fixing it or solving it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, can just worrying the worrying. If you worry about something,
Speaker 1: it's not going to change the outcome. Let's just come
Speaker 1: up with a solution. Like, let's say what the problem is.
Speaker 1: Not complain. I'm not a complainer, So it's like, let's
Speaker 1: just get to the solution, let's figure it out, and
Speaker 1: let's move on. Absolutely nothing worse when you complain every
Speaker 1: step of the way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's and it's natural and it's easy, but
Speaker 3: it we all know it doesn't get you to where
Speaker 3: you want to go. And I think that's that's a
Speaker 3: big reason. What's the uh? I wonder with what you
Speaker 3: were saying. One of the big things that comes out
Speaker 3: as you're talking about family and people in your life
Speaker 3: and you talked about your life is chat like, there's
Speaker 3: this loyalty is such a big value for you, Yeah,
Speaker 3: across your life, it seems. Yeah, what have you learned
Speaker 3: about people that you wish you learned sooner? Was there
Speaker 3: something that you started to learn and recognize patterns in
Speaker 3: people and that has made you better now? But you
Speaker 3: wish like if I learned this a couple of years
Speaker 3: sooner than it could have saved me a lot of
Speaker 3: distress and challenges that came up.
Speaker 1: Don't take anything personally. I've been really blessed to have
Speaker 1: really great, solid relationships. I have the same group of
Speaker 1: best friends. We went to preschool together. We talk every
Speaker 1: single day. My best friend is my best friend since
Speaker 1: the day I grow up, you know, when I was born.
Speaker 1: The people I work with my family, my sisters, but
Speaker 1: my best friend's sisters also, you know, and everyone I
Speaker 1: trust one hundred percent. Everyone is so loyal one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: You can come up to me and tell me something
Speaker 1: about one of my friends. If someone were to say, oh,
Speaker 1: this person said this about you and they're in my circle,
Speaker 1: I would be absolutely not like I would trust that
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. And I think that's so rare, or
Speaker 1: what I've seen is so rare, And I just feel
Speaker 1: so lucky to just love everyone around you. Trust everyone
Speaker 1: around you. They trust you. My friends know they can
Speaker 1: call me any hour. I'll be the first one to
Speaker 1: pick up and help. All of my friends would drop
Speaker 1: everything to help me in a situation. And to have
Speaker 1: that real support and love I think is everything in
Speaker 1: life to have loyal, supportive people around you. And I
Speaker 1: think you can also tell so much about a person
Speaker 1: that has really long standing relationships that stability. When I
Speaker 1: look to hire people, I look at their previous jobs
Speaker 1: and how long they've had those relationships for and think
Speaker 1: about it. If there's someone that's bouncing from job to job,
Speaker 1: obviously there could be other situations that come into place,
Speaker 1: but I value people that have these long standing relationships
Speaker 1: with people, whether it's their employer or family, and that's
Speaker 1: super important to me to have all my friends have
Speaker 1: really important relationships in their life.
Speaker 2: This episode is brought to you by eight Sleep. I
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Speaker 2: think that says a lot about you and the family,
Speaker 2: because I wonder what it takes to hold on to
Speaker 2: a relationship like that when you're on a rocket ship, right.
Speaker 2: I feel like all of us deal with shifts in
Speaker 2: our life, transitions and family and friends that we want
Speaker 2: to hold on to. But it gets harder and harder,
Speaker 2: especially when there's success, when there's envy, when there's competition,
Speaker 2: and sometimes it's not because someone doesn't love you, it
Speaker 2: doesn't care about you, it's so natural in the world
Speaker 2: we live in. And so what does it really take?
Speaker 2: Because I think this will help a lot of people,
Speaker 2: What does it actually take to hold on to someone
Speaker 2: you love and continue with all the noise and all
Speaker 2: the challenges and all the stress that comes with it.
Speaker 2: What does it actually take?
Speaker 1: Because but theretose friends that you don't have to talk
Speaker 1: to every day. I mean, thank god for group chats
Speaker 1: where you can chime in and heart something really quick,
Speaker 1: you know, but like your real best friends will all
Speaker 1: so support you. And but it's it takes that mutual
Speaker 1: respect because what my friends are doing, if they have
Speaker 1: something that's important to them, it's just as important for
Speaker 1: me to show up for them as it is for
Speaker 1: them to show up for me. I might have a
Speaker 1: more colorful life and a bigger event that I'm asking
Speaker 1: them to show up to, but it doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: theirs isn't just as important. So I think just having
Speaker 1: that mutual respect, treating people with respect is just a given.
Speaker 1: I truly think someone is such a solid person when
Speaker 1: they have really grounded relationships. Grounded and love and relationships
Speaker 1: can be different things. You know, Sometimes you have your
Speaker 1: group of girlfriends that you love to go on vacation with.
Speaker 1: And then sometimes you have you know, your other friends
Speaker 1: that you work really well with. Every relationship can be different.
Speaker 1: If you have just a mutual respect around the across
Speaker 1: the board, that's I think the number one thing.
Speaker 3: It takes two. Yeah, it takes too. That's the point.
Speaker 3: It's you're not going to be able to create or
Speaker 3: falsely hold on to. It's someone who doesn't totally want
Speaker 3: to give you that respect. Yeah, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, you talked about earlier about parenting and you brought
Speaker 3: up a few times and I wonder.
Speaker 1: How you You don't have kids, do you?
Speaker 3: I'm not yet, not yet.
Speaker 1: We'll have this conversation again when you do.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, That's what I'm asking. That's I'm asking parenting questions.
Speaker 3: What was your vision like for what you thought parenting
Speaker 3: was going to be like versus what it actually is.
Speaker 1: Everyone says the days are long and the years are short,
Speaker 1: and that couldn't be like a more true statement. So,
Speaker 1: like when you're in it, I mean, especially when they're
Speaker 1: babies and you're feeding and your there's madness going on.
Speaker 1: It's like full madness. It's the best chaos though, Like
Speaker 1: my mornings, you have no idea what's going on. It's
Speaker 1: like I always have to do one of my daughter's
Speaker 1: hair and it has to be perfect and it has
Speaker 1: to be a certain way, and then this one needs
Speaker 1: me to put his shoes on, and that they all
Speaker 1: need you, and they all it's like full crazy madness,
Speaker 1: cooking running around like it's it's wild. That's why I
Speaker 1: need my workout in the morning, just to like prepare
Speaker 1: for the two hours of craziness. I'd say parenting is
Speaker 1: the thing that has taught me the most about myself.
Speaker 1: It has been the most challenging thing. There are nights
Speaker 1: I cry myself to sleep, like what just happened? You know,
Speaker 1: with all the moods and the personalities, and sometimes they're
Speaker 1: fighting and there's no one there, Like it's me to
Speaker 1: play good cop and bad cops. So like that is
Speaker 1: definitely a challenge when you know something I'm working on
Speaker 1: is being a little bit firmer. You know, there's nothing
Speaker 1: that can prepare you anyone. Any person that says, oh
Speaker 1: we're waiting to have x amount of money in the bank,
Speaker 1: Oh we're waiting to have a home before we have kids. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for this job to come in before we
Speaker 1: have kids. I don't care how long you wait, I
Speaker 1: don't care what you're waiting for. You are never prepared,
Speaker 1: but will figure it out and it will make you
Speaker 1: so proud of yourself that you figured it out and
Speaker 1: that you got through the day. And sometimes it's nights
Speaker 1: where it's just we are going hour by hour to
Speaker 1: see if we're going to survive night by night. If
Speaker 1: a tantrum comes in, oh my god, your life is
Speaker 1: completely upside down. But it teaches you so much more
Speaker 1: about yourself than I think anyone any parent could have
Speaker 1: ever anticipated. I mean, there is nights when you don't
Speaker 1: wash your hair for days as a mom, and you
Speaker 1: have sped up all over you and you're wearing the
Speaker 1: same pajamas you know, and there's just nothing that can
Speaker 1: prepare you for this experience. It is the most challenging
Speaker 1: rewarding job on this planet.
Speaker 3: When was a moment when you were looking into your babies'
Speaker 3: faces and.
Speaker 1: That I want to run away, I need to hide
Speaker 1: for a night every night. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3: No, yeah, no, thank you. I mean it's honest. I
Speaker 3: think there's a little bit of truth in that feeling
Speaker 3: that a lot of parents have. What's the hardest when
Speaker 3: you've been looking when you look into their faces and
Speaker 3: you had one of these moments where you were learning
Speaker 3: these lessons, What was the hardest lesson you had to
Speaker 3: learn about yourself that made you go, WHOA, I didn't
Speaker 3: I didn't see that before. If it wasn't for that kid,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have seen that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it happens all the time. I always think everything
Speaker 1: in life comes our way to really teach us something.
Speaker 1: And it's a really hard task when you have four
Speaker 1: kids and you know they all want to be put
Speaker 1: to bed at the same time by the same person,
Speaker 1: and they all want to do it individually and have
Speaker 1: that experience, and no one wants to wait. And I'm
Speaker 1: locked in a room with kids banging outside of the
Speaker 1: door because they want me to put them to bed,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I can't cut myself in four pieces.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna have to schedule this out. And we're
Speaker 1: coming up with the schedule and none of them want
Speaker 1: to listen to the schedule, and then they all start crying.
Speaker 1: And that's like a typical night, you know, And so
Speaker 1: I like sit them outside of my one daughter's door,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, i'll pick you up next. We're doing
Speaker 1: this for fifteen minutes and they can't be patient and
Speaker 1: they're banging on the door. Come on, it's been five minutes.
Speaker 1: You know. It's like those nights are every single night,
Speaker 1: big school projects, big things that are happening, and they
Speaker 1: don't understand that I work, or I have a school
Speaker 1: schedule too, or you know, stuff kids will never understand.
Speaker 1: So I think it's just those nights when you can't
Speaker 1: divide yourself and you have to just work with what
Speaker 1: we have and try to bribe two of them to
Speaker 1: get put to bed at the same time. You know,
Speaker 1: I think unless you're a pal, like so much respect
Speaker 1: to parents, so much respect to people also that aren't parents,
Speaker 1: that want to live their free life enjoy it while
Speaker 1: you can't. I was at Easter on Palm Springs and
Speaker 1: I looked at my mom's house and she had her
Speaker 1: table set for all of her kids, all of her grandkids,
Speaker 1: and we're all staying in her house. And I was like,
Speaker 1: it's a forever thing. It's not like, hey, okay, you're
Speaker 1: eighteen and you're on your own. It's a foreverthing. And
Speaker 1: we're in our forties and we're still coming at her
Speaker 1: and fighting and asking my mom to resolve everything. And
Speaker 1: I look at her and I'm like, how did you
Speaker 1: do it? I personally can't wait for my kids to
Speaker 1: get a little bit older. Everyone is so afraid of
Speaker 1: the teenage phase. I'm so excited for it. Play this
Speaker 1: back for me when they're teenagers all probably, But I
Speaker 1: see the relationship I have with my mom, and I
Speaker 1: knew the relationship I had with my dad, and how
Speaker 1: comfortable we were talking to them about all of our
Speaker 1: problems and all of our friends stuff and all of
Speaker 1: the drama and all of the high school stuff, and
Speaker 1: even the stuff I talk to my mom about now,
Speaker 1: and how open I am about life and relationships and
Speaker 1: how close we are. Even if we didn't get it
Speaker 1: as a kid, I can look at her now and say,
Speaker 1: I get it as a mom now as an adult. Now,
Speaker 1: I know why you made those decisions. And I love
Speaker 1: having that relationship. And that is why I wanted to
Speaker 1: have four kids. I saw my mom, you know, and
Speaker 1: my dad had four together before she had my two
Speaker 1: little sisters, and I loved the big family. And I
Speaker 1: always knew I wanted to have four kids, and I
Speaker 1: just love so much our relationship with her and my grandma,
Speaker 1: and I just can't wait to have that with my kids.
Speaker 1: I can't wait till they're old enough to understand so
Speaker 1: much that I can never explain to them now that
Speaker 1: they'll get one day and we can laugh about it.
Speaker 3: That's so beautiful. Yeah, you reminded me of a beautiful
Speaker 3: old saying that says, the day you realize your parents
Speaker 3: were right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong.
Speaker 1: So true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like that idea of just your when
Speaker 3: you're a little boy, you like adore your mom, at
Speaker 3: least I did them until like thirteen years old. Then
Speaker 3: you've become a teenager and you think you're too cool
Speaker 3: for your mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then in my twelies back, Yeah, they have.
Speaker 1: Like contracts with my sons. I'm like, you're never going
Speaker 1: to leave me. We always have to be besties. You're
Speaker 1: never going to be too cool for me, And they
Speaker 1: always say yes, Yeah. I'm like, you can live with
Speaker 1: me in your twenties, your thirties, never move out.
Speaker 3: They said, Okay, they've signed the contract. Yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 3: they have no idea.
Speaker 1: I'll preach it. Yeah, it'll be okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you won't see them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But the I wonder how in your position, like you know,
Speaker 3: what you just described is what so many people go through,
Speaker 3: and like you said, it's so hard for them to
Speaker 3: experience that. But when you're explaining things like the paparazzi,
Speaker 3: like you're saying that when you're in Japan, like you
Speaker 3: didn't have that experience and that was so nice for
Speaker 3: the kids, Like how do you walk them through the
Speaker 3: nuances of the life that you lead. And I'm guessing
Speaker 3: a lot of their friends also have similar lives, but
Speaker 3: I'm sure they have some friends who don't have parents
Speaker 3: like yourselves, And so how do you help them reconcile?
Speaker 3: What are the kind of things that you talk about
Speaker 3: with them or what can they understand at this age
Speaker 3: and what are you like, Well, that's just going to
Speaker 3: have to wait.
Speaker 1: I'll talk to my kids about anything they want to
Speaker 1: ask me about. I am so open and honest with
Speaker 1: my kids. I think that's the only way to be
Speaker 1: And it could be things that they might not understand,
Speaker 1: and I'll wait to find the appropriate time to talk
Speaker 1: about it. I think they grew up seeing the cameras,
Speaker 1: and they grew up seeing that even as babies, you know,
Speaker 1: we'd walk out and there'd be paparazzi. So it's not
Speaker 1: really something that they acknowledge a lot. But you know,
Speaker 1: my daughter's really vocal. She'll tell them when she doesn't
Speaker 1: want them around and to leave her alone and to stop.
Speaker 1: And I love that they use their little voices. But
Speaker 1: they also have such a normal life and such a
Speaker 1: different life away from all of that too, And that's
Speaker 1: why I love that my sisters and I all had
Speaker 1: babies at the same time, so they can be with
Speaker 1: each other and have these experiences together.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, when i'm you know, there's all the words that
Speaker 3: come out from you, like togetherness, loyalty. It's incredible to
Speaker 3: see it in family. But I think what you've then done,
Speaker 3: which when I saw you do this, it really moved
Speaker 3: me when I saw you kind of move into that
Speaker 3: direction of justice reform and using your voice and training
Speaker 3: to be a lawyer to make these changes in the
Speaker 3: world out there, because I find that, you know, there's
Speaker 3: a natural sense of survival as a family, but then
Speaker 3: when you start taking into account the survival of others,
Speaker 3: there's an extension of love and you know what goes
Speaker 3: out to the world. And yeah, I think it was
Speaker 3: really special to see that this podcast is called on
Speaker 3: Purpose for a reason, because I think everyone's searching for
Speaker 3: their purpose. Would you say that that was a expression
Speaker 3: of purpose or absolutely?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's one of those moments, like
Speaker 1: by chance, I happened to be looking on social media
Speaker 1: and seeing a case that I just didn't understand. And
Speaker 1: I'm always a really curious person, so I'll never let
Speaker 1: something go if it's weighing on my heart to not
Speaker 1: at least try to figure out how it happened. I've
Speaker 1: always been really interested in crime stuff and solving things
Speaker 1: and figuring things out. So when I saw a case
Speaker 1: of a woman that just didn't make sense to me,
Speaker 1: I was really curious, and I sent this little video
Speaker 1: that popped up on my Twitter to attorneys that I
Speaker 1: knew really well that could answer questions for me. And
Speaker 1: then when it seemed like I couldn't just sit there
Speaker 1: it was really weighing on my heart when I felt
Speaker 1: like it was so unfair. I didn't know that there
Speaker 1: was like thousands of cases that were so unfair. I
Speaker 1: just thought, oh wow, like I have to help this person.
Speaker 1: And then when I was successful in doing that on
Speaker 1: my journey, I realized, like, wait, there's so many more
Speaker 1: people like this, like I can't not do something. And
Speaker 1: I think that that also goes with whatever's meant to
Speaker 1: come to you at your own pace, for your own
Speaker 1: learning levels, is what's meant to be. Because that came
Speaker 1: to me, I wasn't like searching for that, and that
Speaker 1: changed my life and it changed who I am. I
Speaker 1: just can't sit around and see this happen to other
Speaker 1: people that aren't deserving of their freedom. I think just
Speaker 1: everyone's on their own path and things will come to
Speaker 1: you when you need to be like elevated to that
Speaker 1: growth level. And I'm really grateful for those experiences because
Speaker 1: I definitely think that that's my purpose.
Speaker 3: What internal changes did you see in yourself that maybe
Speaker 3: you didn't see before when you started doing this work,
Speaker 3: Like what did you have to grapple with internally? Was
Speaker 3: there anything that you had to break through inside? Yeah?
Speaker 3: What would those things?
Speaker 1: I would say? I always felt like I was a
Speaker 1: compassionate person and a caring person, and I always cared
Speaker 1: about people's feelings, but my level of empathy was at
Speaker 1: a completely different level. When I started, I might have
Speaker 1: been way more judgmental, and I would think that someone
Speaker 1: that was behind bars, especially for a really lengthy or
Speaker 1: a serious crime, that they probably were absolutely guilty. I
Speaker 1: had no compassion. I was just really judgmental. And then
Speaker 1: when I started to hear about these cases and people's
Speaker 1: backstories and their histories and realized that so many people
Speaker 1: really didn't have the opportunities to be better and didn't
Speaker 1: know better, it really changed my whole life, and like,
Speaker 1: my level of empathy is just so different than what
Speaker 1: it was years ago. And I think that's why I
Speaker 1: fight so hard for people to get second chances, Because
Speaker 1: people make really bad choices and really bad mistakes, some
Speaker 1: way way worse than other people. But if you're never
Speaker 1: given the chance to change, that's really sad, especially if
Speaker 1: you make a really bad decision as a teenager and
Speaker 1: then you're in your forties and you're given no shot
Speaker 1: to change when you really already maybe have so much.
Speaker 1: It was really important to me to express that and
Speaker 1: help people that have made those changes.
Speaker 3: And I love how I'm assuming that when you do
Speaker 3: something like that in the outside space, it kind of
Speaker 3: applies to your whole life, where all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: you're so right that I think we all not even
Speaker 3: people behind bars. I think we all judge people all
Speaker 3: the time. Yeah, and when you're almost doing it in
Speaker 3: such an extreme way and raising your empathy in such
Speaker 3: an extreme environment, you can now extend that and express
Speaker 3: that to so many more people. Yeah, because you've had
Speaker 3: to do it in a way where you were like, oh,
Speaker 3: definitely that person deserves it. Yeah, and all of a
Speaker 3: sudden you start realizing maybe they didn't deserve that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So maybe we don't deserve this. I think, you know,
Speaker 3: but in.
Speaker 1: All levels of life of judgment. I used to judge
Speaker 1: people and like their relationships and how people lived their lives,
Speaker 1: and now whatever makes you happy? Why should we judge?
Speaker 1: Who were we to say how people should live their lives?
Speaker 1: My judgment is just I don't know if it comes
Speaker 1: with age or experience or just going through so many things,
Speaker 1: but just be happy, you know. Isn't that what life
Speaker 1: is about? Experiences making people feel heard and seen and appreciated,
Speaker 1: and just having gratitude for the things in life that
Speaker 1: we're so blessed to have and work for and for.
Speaker 1: Surrounded by the people we love we are. That's real success.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I agree, And I feel that a
Speaker 3: lot of people start getting better at that with the
Speaker 3: judgment outside. But one of the things that people struggle
Speaker 3: to deal with the most is the judgment in their head.
Speaker 3: And I wonder, do you find that you ever catch
Speaker 3: yourself judging yourself and being hard on yourself and being
Speaker 3: heavy and harsh on yourself. You've been able to give
Speaker 3: that up.
Speaker 1: I'll be like competitive with myself. I think I'm a
Speaker 1: really competitive person, but I'm pretty I'm pretty easy on myself.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's incredible.
Speaker 1: I was always like, really calm, really easy going.
Speaker 3: That's a real achievement. Yeah, and I'm sure you see
Speaker 3: people judging themselves all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was grabbing some coffees for my team a couple
Speaker 3: of months back or something, and I remember like I
Speaker 3: was paying the cashier and she gave me the change
Speaker 3: and I was grabbing the change of walking off, and
Speaker 3: she was like, wait, wait, wait, I'm so stupid. I'm
Speaker 3: so stupid. I got the change wrong. And I was
Speaker 3: like I didn't even notice. And I looked and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh okay, Like I was like, you're not stupid,
Speaker 3: like easy mistaken. You can see the look on her
Speaker 3: face like she was judging herself so harshly for something
Speaker 3: so small. And I guess when you see people judge themselves,
Speaker 3: then how do you how do you respond to that
Speaker 3: or how do you support them?
Speaker 1: Honestly, I really haven't experienced that much.
Speaker 3: That's fantastic. Yeah, that's amazing, And I love hearing that
Speaker 3: because I think it is so true that you can
Speaker 3: curate and create a community around you that has similar values. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and then almost you don't even I.
Speaker 1: See a lot of like determination and a lot of
Speaker 1: like creativity, a lot of hard work. Like if I
Speaker 1: were to go on vacation with my girlfriends, we'd all
Speaker 1: be getting up probably at six am, all want to
Speaker 1: go on a workout. I don't think there's that one
Speaker 1: girl that would be like, I'm sleeping till ten and
Speaker 1: I'm not working out, you know. So I think that
Speaker 1: obviously everyone around you is different and has different personalities.
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of my core friends are
Speaker 1: really like minded.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and sometimes that positive, positive peer pressure can be
Speaker 3: really healthy too, Like, yeah, even if you have that
Speaker 3: one friend who's struggling, as soon as you're added to
Speaker 3: that group totally. You see the maleovey. I've seen that
Speaker 3: with so many of my friends that totally. Even if
Speaker 3: there's one person who's struggling with something, as soon as
Speaker 3: they're in that pack, yeah, all of a sudden you
Speaker 3: start to see them break through their ceiling. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: it changes for them.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think something that I've learned maybe the hard way,
Speaker 1: because I feel like I'm at a really good place
Speaker 1: now where the people in my life I feel really solid.
Speaker 1: I think this is the first time in my life.
Speaker 1: Obviously I've had really long relationships with my girlfriends and
Speaker 1: friends since elementary school. But something I learned is that
Speaker 1: you cannot help people that don't want the help and
Speaker 1: don't You can't force your beliefs and project that on
Speaker 1: someone that thinks something totally different. And it's okay to
Speaker 1: have those different views. It's why the world goes round,
Speaker 1: you know. But if you don't align in the same
Speaker 1: values and morals and things at your core, then it's
Speaker 1: okay to realize that this life is so short and
Speaker 1: you should go and find the people that do align
Speaker 1: with what you really believe in. And I think sometimes
Speaker 1: there's so much going on that you can be blinded
Speaker 1: by so many other things that if you don't stop
Speaker 1: and think about what someone's true values and morals are
Speaker 1: and how they want to live their life, so much
Speaker 1: other things are going on. So I don't blame people
Speaker 1: that don't really stop and think about those things. I mean,
Speaker 1: those are some of the lessons that I would teach
Speaker 1: my kids when they're looking for friends and partners and relationships. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't really force things upon other people. You can't
Speaker 1: expect them to be where you're at at your level.
Speaker 1: And sometimes that could really coexist really well, but then
Speaker 1: sometimes it really can't. You have to let go of
Speaker 1: the idea of molding people into what you want. Think
Speaker 1: about if there's something about yourself that you really want
Speaker 1: to change, the expectations of going into something and thinking
Speaker 1: you're going to get a different result, or thinking you
Speaker 1: have the power to change someone is so selfish and
Speaker 1: so crazy, and everyone does it and everyone has to
Speaker 1: learn on their own. And that's something that I've always
Speaker 1: like sat back, helped friends, given them advice, but never
Speaker 1: really pushed because even if I were to say, hey,
Speaker 1: don't walk down that path, trust me, I've been there.
Speaker 1: You don't want to go there and they say okay,
Speaker 1: and they follow you and they go on a different path.
Speaker 1: They'll never learn that lesson. They have no clue what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. You know, I could say parenting stuff
Speaker 1: to you all day long, with all due respect, you
Speaker 1: have no clue until you've been through it. I welcome
Speaker 1: people's journeys and their lessons, and I'll always be there
Speaker 1: to the people that I love to help them through that.
Speaker 1: But they got to go through that in order to
Speaker 1: grow on their own.
Speaker 3: What's the biggest lesson you learned from your mom that
Speaker 3: you try to pass on to the kids.
Speaker 1: I think just how she makes people feel really heard
Speaker 1: and welcomed. She really is the most warm, welcoming person,
Speaker 1: and it's just like her overall. It seems superficial, but
Speaker 1: it's not like her party planning skills. It's not even that.
Speaker 1: It's just the welcomingness of I don't even know if
Speaker 1: these are words I'm saying, but like just her ability
Speaker 1: to be so warm and to make everyone feel like
Speaker 1: they were invited here. I'm going to create this special
Speaker 1: Easter dinner with like the things on the table, you
Speaker 1: know that she had when we were growing up at
Speaker 1: my dad's house, Like she just has all this like
Speaker 1: really special nostalgic stuff around all the time and always
Speaker 1: tries to make everyone feel so special, but with like
Speaker 1: a gathering so that everyone feels comfortable and can hang around.
Speaker 1: Like she just loves people in her space and loves
Speaker 1: to create these memories. And I think that we all
Speaker 1: got that from her, and we will all if I
Speaker 1: can just pass that on to my kids, just the
Speaker 1: experiences that we have as a family, whether we're just
Speaker 1: sitting in our pajamas and hanging out, we make the
Speaker 1: time to be together. And I hope that my kids
Speaker 1: want to make the time to be together when they
Speaker 1: grow up, with their cousins and their aunts and just
Speaker 1: the whole family.
Speaker 3: I'm sure they will. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think
Speaker 3: I think you've managed to hold onto it in your
Speaker 3: entire generation, and so yeah, they see that. I think
Speaker 3: kids mirror so much of what they see around them.
Speaker 3: And I remember when I met my wife, her grandma
Speaker 3: is her favorite human on the planet. And it's really
Speaker 3: interesting how when someone you love you know who their
Speaker 3: favorite human is, you automatically start loving them. And I
Speaker 3: wasn't really close to my grandparents, but I'm closer to
Speaker 3: Rady's grandparents like grandmother, and I am to my own
Speaker 3: grandparents because you see your love for the person that
Speaker 3: you love, and so I think when your kids see
Speaker 3: the love that you have for your sisters and your
Speaker 3: cousins and your aunts and uncles.
Speaker 1: And now if only all my kids can love their siblings,
Speaker 1: that would be amazing. They're in a fighting phase.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and you guys went through that phase.
Speaker 1: Yeah, still going on, never ending.
Speaker 3: It's never going to stop. Kim. I feel like you
Speaker 3: travel so much, you have so many businesses. You're now
Speaker 3: going to be on a TV show, like another TV show.
Speaker 3: I mean, You've got so much things happening in your life,
Speaker 3: and I'm sure there's moments where whether the kids say
Speaker 3: something or don't. I know a lot of people in
Speaker 3: my life feel a lot of mom guilt. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: moms carry it with them. Have you experienced that with
Speaker 3: your friends your family?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Mom guilt is probably the hardest thing. I think
Speaker 1: that you have to also separate though, and understand that
Speaker 1: you need your own bit of sanity. So you have
Speaker 1: to do what makes you happy. You have to working.
Speaker 1: For me, I love working, so that makes me happy.
Speaker 1: Anytime I think something's really hard, I dive into work
Speaker 1: and or if there's challenges, like I love to dive
Speaker 1: into my work and that's like a bit of my
Speaker 1: therapy and my routine to keep me going. But I think,
Speaker 1: you know, I have chats with my girlfriends when our
Speaker 1: kids are having tantrums and there could be things going
Speaker 1: on that we don't even know about, and you feel
Speaker 1: like you're the worst mom if something's going on and
Speaker 1: you can't fix it, you have no idea how to
Speaker 1: change it. Your kids are fighting, whatever it is, and
Speaker 1: my friends and I will text each other and be
Speaker 1: like in tears, literally locking ourselves in the room, like
Speaker 1: away from a kid having a tantrum. When that's not
Speaker 1: what you should do. You should go and lean into them.
Speaker 1: But sometimes it's so overwhelming. That was probably the only
Speaker 1: time I'd be hard on myself. Is am I a
Speaker 1: good mom? I try to do everything? And I think
Speaker 1: how to balance work with that is when you're home
Speaker 1: being really present. Kids all they want is time. They
Speaker 1: just want your time. You can give them all these amazing,
Speaker 1: big experiences and they'll remember them and they're great, but
Speaker 1: they'll always remember you being present. And I think that's
Speaker 1: just the most important thing in all of your life relationships.
Speaker 1: Think about what a kid wants. A kid just wants
Speaker 1: your time, so why wouldn't everyone else. You have to
Speaker 1: kind of treat everyone like that if you want these
Speaker 1: like meaningful relationships in your life, and you have to
Speaker 1: be present. And it's okay to feel like you are
Speaker 1: not one hundred percent at being the best mom. I
Speaker 1: say this all the time. There's no manual. They do
Speaker 1: not come with a manual. Everyone's doing the best that
Speaker 1: they can. And I just feel so lucky that I
Speaker 1: have a good group of girlfriends and all of our
Speaker 1: kids are experiencing different things from I mean, imagine all
Speaker 1: the things that they divorce, everything that they have to
Speaker 1: go through. We're okay. They will be okay, and they
Speaker 1: will feel the love and support and that's all you
Speaker 1: can do. It'll be okay.
Speaker 3: And I'm sure that's hard for you because you were
Speaker 3: saying that you're so competitive with yourself if you want
Speaker 3: to be the best to everything. Yeah, but I feel
Speaker 3: like being the best mom must be the hardest, hardest
Speaker 3: thing to ever live up to.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and I'm very confident. So every year I write
Speaker 1: each one of my kids about a four or five
Speaker 1: page letter about on their birthday, about what the year
Speaker 1: was like, who their friends are, silly words, they're saying,
Speaker 1: their favorite foods, all the silly things that they do,
Speaker 1: and a little journey of what the year is like.
Speaker 1: And it's so fun to see from the first year
Speaker 1: now you know, one of them almost ten years old,
Speaker 1: and just to I know that they'll appreciate this. I
Speaker 1: know that they'll appreciate everything that they might have thought
Speaker 1: I was being a little harsh on me protecting them.
Speaker 1: I know that they'll they'll get it because I got
Speaker 1: it with my mom, and I know they'll get it
Speaker 1: with me.
Speaker 3: You've reminded me of something beautiful that I want to
Speaker 3: share that. So, my mom and dad were birthda immigrants
Speaker 3: in London, which is where I was born and raised,
Speaker 3: and both my parents worked ever since I was a kid,
Speaker 3: and so i'd get dropped to daycare, get picked up
Speaker 3: in the year. But what I remember is something you said.
Speaker 3: My mom would come and pick me up, and I
Speaker 3: still remembered the look on her face when she'd pick
Speaker 3: me up. She'd had this big smile, she'd give me
Speaker 3: the biggest hug, she'd take me home and we'd sit
Speaker 3: down together while she was cooking, and we'd just talk
Speaker 3: to each other. And it's almost like I never had
Speaker 3: a lot of time with my parents growing up, but
Speaker 3: I felt so much presence. And I honestly believe today
Speaker 3: that I have so much love to give because my
Speaker 3: mom infused me with love, Like my mom's just like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, bathe me in so much love totally that
Speaker 3: it's so easy for me to be loving because I've
Speaker 3: always had infinite amounts of it from my moum the best.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't imagine. I love on my kids so hard.
Speaker 1: They are so annoyed with me, and I love it.
Speaker 3: What I find genuinely inspiring about you and the way
Speaker 3: you think and focus is that you want to be
Speaker 3: this incredible mom, but you also want to show the
Speaker 3: kids what a passionate, purpose driven person looks like. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I think, forget that that's also parenting, Like I'm
Speaker 3: not a parent, but I can honestly say it that
Speaker 3: when I saw my mom working late at night and
Speaker 3: waking up early in the morning, I look back at
Speaker 3: my mom and I think my mom is a superwoman. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And I look back at that as inspirat.
Speaker 1: My kids think that on me.
Speaker 3: One day, they will. They will because they'll see that.
Speaker 3: And I think same with my dad. Like I saw
Speaker 3: my dad and how much he had to work, Yeah,
Speaker 3: and there was something powerful about that.
Speaker 1: I think. I always like to show them, Like I
Speaker 1: drop my kids off at school and then I have
Speaker 1: two or three hours of law school, so I gotta go.
Speaker 1: I'm on time because I have my school and they
Speaker 1: have been on the journey with me. They saw me
Speaker 1: take the bar exam. They saw me open my results
Speaker 1: and not pass multiple times. They saw me open up
Speaker 1: the results and pass and I was crying and they
Speaker 1: felt my hard work and it paid off. I want
Speaker 1: to show them that finding a passion and working, to me,
Speaker 1: is something I love to do and there's so much
Speaker 1: joy in that for me, and I want them to
Speaker 1: feel that positive experience, and I encourage that from them,
Speaker 1: Like I want to just show them as many positive
Speaker 1: experiences as I can and show them that you know,
Speaker 1: you can work hard and you can love it. And
Speaker 1: I just try to live my life and be a
Speaker 1: good example for them.
Speaker 3: I think it comes through and I do believe that,
Speaker 3: Like when I look back at my parents, all I
Speaker 3: can do is appreciate my mom. All I can do.
Speaker 1: I hope they do. Sometimes they tell me I'm the
Speaker 1: meanest mom in the world because I won't buy them
Speaker 1: roadblocks every day. You know. It's like I'm like, it's okay,
Speaker 1: I could be the meanest mom in the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: I think that's what moms do. Moms are willing to
Speaker 3: be anything that kids need them to be, even if
Speaker 3: it's that for shal period of time. Yeah, Kim, you've
Speaker 3: been so gracious and kind with your time today. We
Speaker 3: end every On Purpose episode with a final five. The
Speaker 3: first question is what is the best advice you've ever
Speaker 3: received or heard?
Speaker 1: Something that I've learned about time is just that we
Speaker 1: never have enough of time, So really be present and
Speaker 1: make the most of your relationships because we're not here
Speaker 1: very long and we have one life.
Speaker 3: Was there a moment that made you realize that or
Speaker 3: something that happened that made you realize that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think when you lose a parent, you're
Speaker 1: always really mindful of time, And my mom talks about
Speaker 1: it all the time. I think she's like probably the
Speaker 1: one thing in life she's scared about, you know, and
Speaker 1: keeps her up at night sometimes, so just making sure
Speaker 1: that you make the most of everything because it'll go
Speaker 1: by so fast.
Speaker 3: Second question, what is the worst life advice you've ever
Speaker 3: received or heard?
Speaker 1: I think maybe the worst advice could be almost too
Speaker 1: much advice or too many opinions. If you really trust
Speaker 1: your gut and you do what you want to do,
Speaker 1: and if you're in your bobble and when the world
Speaker 1: gets to that little piece of your bubble, and there
Speaker 1: can be so many opinions, I think sometimes all of
Speaker 1: the conflicting advice can just be bad advice that even
Speaker 1: if you're supposed to make your mistake and maybe do
Speaker 1: what you want to do with any bad piece of advice,
Speaker 1: that's still a part of your journey. So sometimes just
Speaker 1: do what you want to do and not take in
Speaker 1: all of the advice is really healthy.
Speaker 3: I think that's great, And don't ask for in the
Speaker 3: first place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all have that one
Speaker 3: friend who totally messages like twenty five people with the
Speaker 3: same question. Totally yeah, definitely good answer, all right. Question
Speaker 3: number three. If tomorrow not wishing this, no intentions, no
Speaker 3: energy towards this, but if tomorrow you had to restart,
Speaker 3: what would you do if tomorrow everything went away and
Speaker 3: you had to restart, what would you do business wise?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Would that shift?
Speaker 1: I think I would probably be a lawyer and just
Speaker 1: focus on that and go to law school and focus
Speaker 1: on being an attorney full time, because I just think
Speaker 1: the feeling of being able to help people is really
Speaker 1: powerful and necessary, and I would just focus on that.
Speaker 3: That's such a hartful answer. I love that. That's beautiful.
Speaker 3: I'm glad I asked you. Yeah, I just feel like
Speaker 3: it's really interesting. I was having a conversation last night
Speaker 3: with with the mutual friends of ours Scooter Braun and Oh.
Speaker 3: We were together last night and we were talking about
Speaker 3: this idea about how we often think that our experiences
Speaker 3: make us who we are, or is it that you
Speaker 3: are just going to be who you are anyway because
Speaker 3: that's who you were meant to be.
Speaker 1: I think it's both. Yeah, think about it. You can
Speaker 1: be the most talented person, but if you don't have
Speaker 1: that determination and drive, then what will become of it?
Speaker 1: You know, it's not just going to magically happen because
Speaker 1: you're talented, of course, So I think so much of
Speaker 1: it is the effort what you do with that and
Speaker 1: figuring that out and who you are and what you
Speaker 1: want to put out in the world.
Speaker 3: I guess my point is that I think you have
Speaker 3: that energy of wanting to be the best, of wanting
Speaker 3: to do things really well, of wanting to do things
Speaker 3: with that quality, and whatever you ended up doing with it, yeah,
Speaker 3: it would have been that and it is that you're doing.
Speaker 1: You have to no matter even if this isn't the
Speaker 1: job that you want, no matter what it is that
Speaker 1: you're doing, you have to be full of your best.
Speaker 1: You have to put in two hundred percent. You have
Speaker 1: no idea who's paying attention. You're at that place exactly
Speaker 1: what where you're supposed to be at that time. There's
Speaker 1: nothing worse than someone that doesn't want to give it.
Speaker 1: They're all no matter what it is, and it could be.
Speaker 1: That's like, you know, business advice that I heard that
Speaker 1: always stuck with me and always was even when I
Speaker 1: was working at a clothing store. I was so happy
Speaker 1: to be there organizing. I did my yet I did
Speaker 1: my absolute best that I could sell everything and steaming
Speaker 1: everything and hanging everything. And I think those experiences just
Speaker 1: show you what you want to do in your life,
Speaker 1: show other people really what you're made of. I'm just
Speaker 1: like a I'm a really competitive person. So no matter
Speaker 1: what it is that I'm doing, I want to be
Speaker 1: the best at that. I want to learn everything about it.
Speaker 1: And I'm just a super curious person.
Speaker 3: Beautiful question of before. See as we've been talking about values,
Speaker 3: what's something that you used to value that you no
Speaker 3: longer feel your value anymore?
Speaker 1: Definitely material designer things I used to value, I mean stuff.
Speaker 1: I live in an area where there would be fires
Speaker 1: a lot, and there was probably four times we had
Speaker 1: to fully pack up the house, everything out houses catching
Speaker 1: on fire, property caught on fire, like really close to
Speaker 1: losing everything. First time, packed up my entire shoe and
Speaker 1: bad closet and a lot of them because there were
Speaker 1: memory stuff from my dad, stuff in high school, but
Speaker 1: all designer stuff, also videos, photos, whatever, digitized everything. Put
Speaker 1: everything important somewhere else. Second, pack up the designer stuff,
Speaker 1: but leave some. Leave some of the clothes. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't really need all the clothes, but I packed
Speaker 1: a hotel for months. Bags and every designer thing that
Speaker 1: I had had to come. Third time, leave all the
Speaker 1: bags and shoes I don't I don't need them. We
Speaker 1: got all the we got all the photos, we got
Speaker 1: all the my little blanky when I was little, you know,
Speaker 1: the kids stuff. Fourth time, leave everything, me and my babies.
Speaker 1: That's all I need, you know. I have all my
Speaker 1: photos digitized. I have everything digital. We got our passports.
Speaker 1: We're good. And that like evolution of like they had
Speaker 1: to go in and get all my designer stuff or
Speaker 1: I'm not leaving my house. You know it's going to
Speaker 1: catch on fire. And now I'm like, nothing is worth it,
Speaker 1: nothing is important. And I think that comes from life experiences,
Speaker 1: scary experiences, things shaking you to your core to make
Speaker 1: you realize that nothing is important. You can't I know
Speaker 1: everyone says this, but like you can't take it with you.
Speaker 1: None of it is important.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a beautiful Islamic proverb that says detachment doesn't
Speaker 3: mean that you own nothing. It means that nothing owns you.
Speaker 3: And I feel so often we become owned by I
Speaker 3: love that dreams, our desires, our pursuits, our things. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it doesn't mean that we have to give them all
Speaker 3: away or we don't have those things. It's just if
Speaker 3: and when we have to let go totally willing, are
Speaker 3: we able to let.
Speaker 1: Totally, even with work stuff. I mean, it doesn't just
Speaker 1: have to be the material things, like you said, like
Speaker 1: your dreams, and it's okay to be able to let
Speaker 1: go but work so hard to like the opposites are okay,
Speaker 1: contradicting yourself a little bit in those ways. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like in relationships, you can love a person, miss
Speaker 1: a person so much, but still have the wisdom to
Speaker 1: note they're not your person and you're better off not together.
Speaker 1: That like opposite connection with everything. I think is really
Speaker 1: important to have that awareness and everything in life, relationships,
Speaker 1: material things, all of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I officiated a wedding a few years ago and
Speaker 3: someone came up to me from the audience and said
Speaker 3: to me, jay, I realized from what you were saying
Speaker 3: that they'd just gone through a breakup recently, and they
Speaker 3: were saying, jay, I realized that I loved that person,
Speaker 3: but we didn't like each other anymore. And it was
Speaker 3: that essence of like, there'll always be that deep love
Speaker 3: for each other, yeah, but we just don't.
Speaker 1: Like family, you know, Like you love people, but it's
Speaker 1: okay to feel a protection of a person but then
Speaker 1: also protecting yourself and realizing when you have to and
Speaker 1: when it's time, and it's okay to feel all of
Speaker 1: the opposite emotions, you know, I think as long as
Speaker 1: you're really well aware and go through the motions and
Speaker 1: feel things and don't hold things in, it's so important,
Speaker 1: whether it's you know, breakups, deaths. I've always been really
Speaker 1: clear headed and like, gone through the feelings, gone through
Speaker 1: the emotions, more in those relationships, more in those lifelong
Speaker 1: relationships that you hope for, and then also be okay
Speaker 1: and calm and realizing I've always been someone like, Okay,
Speaker 1: my dad died, why is this happening? What was his
Speaker 1: purpose here? And how are we going to grow and
Speaker 1: learn from this experience? And I always said that, like
Speaker 1: right when he passed, and I was felt it and
Speaker 1: super emotional about it, and you know, cry all the
Speaker 1: time when great things happen that I wish he was here.
Speaker 1: But also I had a wisdom at like a younger
Speaker 1: age to understand that this is like a part of
Speaker 1: our journey and a part of our evolution, and this happens,
Speaker 1: and this is why you have to hold on to
Speaker 1: relationships even more precious, but don't let things destroy you.
Speaker 1: At the same time, if that makes it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it does make sense. I can tell just from
Speaker 3: your energy, like I just want everyone to know who's
Speaker 3: listening and watching. Often people can say something, but the
Speaker 3: time I've spent with you, even today, I can tell
Speaker 3: from the energy that you are content and you are
Speaker 3: so pya and you are I can feel that just
Speaker 3: just peace, like that's what I'm with you. I sense peace,
Speaker 3: and I think doing an interview with someone just it's
Speaker 3: different environment that I remember when I interviewed Kobe Bryant
Speaker 3: and I almost felt like time stood still and his
Speaker 3: word that I saw with his energy was gravity. I
Speaker 3: I just felt like everything was just. And then when
Speaker 3: I'm sitting with you, I'm feeling peace. And a lot
Speaker 3: of the time people try to find people when they're
Speaker 3: not at peace, hoping that someone else will put their
Speaker 3: pieces back together. You are at peace. Do you ever
Speaker 3: feel like you want to be in love again? Do
Speaker 3: you long for that? Or are you so at peace
Speaker 3: that that isn't a consideration.
Speaker 1: I think I'll always be a hopeless romantic and always
Speaker 1: want to be in love and definitely love sharing my
Speaker 1: life with someone and love creating a life with someone.
Speaker 1: I definitely will take my time and I think there's
Speaker 1: so many factors, especially when you have kids and being
Speaker 1: mindful of people that enter in your life. And if
Speaker 1: I can look at everything that I did wrong and
Speaker 1: try to not make the same mistakes and really take
Speaker 1: my time, I think it just has to be different
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: It's obviously such a hard place to be in because
Speaker 1: how do you go aback? Who do you? You know? It's like,
Speaker 1: so there's so many factors. But I'll always believe in
Speaker 1: love and I'll always want that, and I think that's
Speaker 1: such a magical part of life. But I think I'm
Speaker 1: so comfortable taking my time to not rush it. There's
Speaker 1: so much going on that I'm not lonely, and I
Speaker 1: think that that is really important. And I believe, like
Speaker 1: I always believe, you know, and I think that whatever
Speaker 1: is meant to be will be.
Speaker 3: fIF and final question of the whole interview. If you
Speaker 3: could create one law that everyone in the world had
Speaker 3: to follow, what would it be? Take your time?
Speaker 1: That's a good one, just second chances and fairness. I
Speaker 1: think it could be something as simple as just whether
Speaker 1: it's in our system or judgment in life, just making
Speaker 1: sure that everyone had like a basic human right to
Speaker 1: what's fair. I think we'd change a lot in the system,
Speaker 1: we'ld change a lot in life and a law for
Speaker 1: everyone to be kind. It's that simple, you think about, like,
Speaker 1: all I want to do is raise kind, thoughtful, grateful,
Speaker 1: mindful human beings.
Speaker 3: Kim, thank you for being so open, so honest, so
Speaker 3: generous with your time. Everyone has been listening and watching.
Speaker 3: I hope you tag us birth on Instagram, on TikTok,
Speaker 3: wherever you share your insights that you gained. I'd love
Speaker 3: to see what you took away from this podcast. I'd
Speaker 3: love to share that with both of us. Thank you
Speaker 3: for listening to on Purpose. See you again next week.
Speaker 3: And Kim, thank you so much again for this energy
Speaker 3: of yours today and being so present with us. Thank you.
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode
Speaker 2: with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how
Speaker 2: to speak to yourself with more compassion.
Speaker 1: My fears are only going to continue to show me
Speaker 1: what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,
Speaker 1: the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,
Speaker 1: and I just want to keep doing that.