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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's trying anything and everything to

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Speaker 1: go viral. His latest attempt was doing the Gognam style

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Speaker 1: dance on a glass table over a bed of steak knives.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's seven views and counting.

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Speaker 1: Go check it out with Laser Stories, the segment where

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Speaker 1: we read weird news stories around the globe, just like

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Speaker 1: everyone else does, except we've got a laser and those

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Speaker 1: other slippy trippies.

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Speaker 2: Just this first laser story is out of New Jersey.

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Speaker 1: A woman named Francine Whitlock recently woke up last Tuesday morning.

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Speaker 1: She looked outside only to find her house was vandalized

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Speaker 1: with pepperoni.

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Speaker 2: That's vandalization? Is that how you say? Yeah? Okay?

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Speaker 1: There were large chunks by her doorstep and stream all

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Speaker 1: around the porch.

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Speaker 2: That's expensive.

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Speaker 1: Wow. More pieces were strategically placed down the stairs, and

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Speaker 1: then there were four slices on the hood of her

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Speaker 1: car and four more on the trunk.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Is it just an angry piece of

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Speaker 2: delivery guy seeking his revenge.

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Speaker 1: She has no idea who did it or why, so

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Speaker 1: of course she reported it to the police. Remember when

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Speaker 1: my car got cheesed and I had a single slice

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Speaker 1: of craft.

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Speaker 2: On my windshield.

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Speaker 1: If they did the cheese and the pepperoni together, you're

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Speaker 1: halfway to a dinner. When cops showed up, they found

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Speaker 1: that there wasn't any real damage, but Francine told them

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Speaker 1: that she's worried about this happening again because someone was

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Speaker 1: trespassing and it's possible next time that spicy meat could

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Speaker 1: damage the paint on her car.

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Speaker 2: Throw cured ham necks. I did. I don't know what

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Speaker 2: meats are gonna fly in my car.

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Speaker 1: So funny Alexis called the cops after she totaled somebody's

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Speaker 1: car and they wouldn't show up.

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Speaker 2: On deck. A pepperoni crime is the top of the way.

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Speaker 1: Not clear though, one hundred percent if it really was pepperoni.

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Speaker 1: So the police brought some samples to a local pizzeria

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Speaker 1: owner who says they did, who says it looked like

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Speaker 1: maybe some kind of salami, okay. Final conclusion from a

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Speaker 1: team of pizza was that it was in the family

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Speaker 1: of pepperoni.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but they're not exactly sure.

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Speaker 1: I see not quite as spicy, maybe a lot.

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Speaker 2: It means out there.

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Speaker 1: Still, the woman is calling the unidentified purpose the pepperoni bandits,

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Speaker 1: and the police say they will continue the investigation while

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Speaker 1: putting some murder cases on hold. Yeah, why do I

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Speaker 1: feel like she's all over Facebook about this? Oh? Yeah

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Speaker 1: this next laser stories out of northern Kentucky. Most roadside

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Speaker 1: convenience stores don't want you using their restrooms. Yeah, wells mutual.

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Speaker 1: But one chain, one chain.

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Speaker 2: Decided to make their bathrooms more fun. That's right.

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Speaker 1: Six Hopshop convenience stores are installing big red buttons in

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Speaker 1: their bathrooms with a sign saying do not push this button.

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Speaker 2: So everybody pushes it. Yeah, you have to.

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Speaker 1: There's also an image of their mascot, hopper the frog, winking,

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Speaker 1: which signals that you could push the button if you

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Speaker 1: want to.

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Speaker 2: If you're frisky. I'm like, what's gonna he If you.

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Speaker 1: Do push it, it temporarily turns the bathroom into a

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Speaker 1: dance club, so lights come on, including an actual disco

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Speaker 1: ball and music.

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Speaker 2: Inside of the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: The manager says the disco party bathrooms have gone viral

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Speaker 1: on social media, and there's such a draw. People are

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Speaker 1: coming to the stores and buying more things just to

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Speaker 1: go into the rest I think it's a new thing.

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Speaker 2: Member Jose and I went to this Italian restaurant. It's

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Speaker 2: like super swaky, very low key, and then you go

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Speaker 2: into the bathroom and it is floor to ceiling mirrors

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Speaker 2: and blasting club music.

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Speaker 1: I prefer the convenience store bathrooms, thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: But the manager even said I had a sixty year

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Speaker 1: old woman who proudly said she celebrated her twentieth birthday

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Speaker 1: by visiting all six Hopshop disco bathrooms in one day.

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Speaker 2: That's a bathroom hoping. What happens when you're so close

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Speaker 2: to llegal.

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Speaker 1: The idea was to do something unique to bring people

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Speaker 1: in and hopefully they'll make purchases while they're there.

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Speaker 2: Looks like it's working. I love it.

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Speaker 1: Brook wants to go in there and eat on the

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Speaker 1: toilet of every single restaurant.

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Speaker 2: Sure, let's put a buffet in.

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Speaker 1: The next Lazer stories out of the glorious Land of

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Speaker 1: carbs and cheese. I love it, but my doctor doesn't

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Speaker 1: like it when I visit. Now, are you trying to

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Speaker 1: lose weight and need some new recipes? You might want

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Speaker 1: to invest in a good cookbook, just not this one.

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Speaker 1: H say that because Chuck E Cheese is releasing their

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Speaker 1: own edition.

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Speaker 2: What wait, don't they serve just pizza. What else would

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Speaker 2: they put on it?

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Speaker 1: It's called the Chuck E Cheese and Friends Party Cookbook.

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Speaker 2: No one has ever gone there for food. It's like,

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Speaker 2: that's not the reason you go.

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Speaker 1: It's full of recipes for parties and large groups. May

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Speaker 1: you know children's birthday parties. But if you're a true fan,

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Speaker 1: there's no reason you can use them for your rehearsal

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Speaker 1: dinner or maybe for your company's next shareholders meeting. Are

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Speaker 1: you telling me there's a chef at Chuck E Cheese.

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Speaker 1: It's one hundred and twenty eight pages recipes and features

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Speaker 1: other well known characters like singing dog, jasper tea jowls,

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Speaker 1: and they're animatronic chicken, Hell and Henny. Not clear how

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Speaker 1: many of their actual menu items are in it, but

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Speaker 1: recipes include things like Kansas City barbecue, chicken pizza, Halloween

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Speaker 1: themed pigs in a blanket called mummy dogs.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's really simple. They didn't come up with that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: am so easy. A rainbow mar unicorn cake.

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Speaker 1: Tasty, but it has to be sitting out for two

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Speaker 1: weeks and nobody touches it. If you want to party

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Speaker 1: it up like Chuck, you can pre order it on

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Speaker 1: Amazon for twenty three dollars.

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Speaker 2: Whoa jay really do think they're a chef? This next

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Speaker 2: lazer stories out of England.

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Speaker 1: A nineteenth century cabinet was brought to the auction house

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Speaker 1: by a family who said had belonged to a deceased

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Speaker 1: unkle and a photographer was taking photos of it for

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Speaker 1: the sale when he opened it.

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Speaker 2: Up and saw a lemon, not a lemon.

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Speaker 1: Well it wasn't an ordinary lemon though, it was a

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Speaker 1: dried out, round, brown, leathery looking one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, lemon.

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Speaker 1: Even crazier, it was inscribed with a message that said,

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Speaker 1: given by mister p Leu Francini November fourth, seventeen thirty

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Speaker 1: nine to miss e Baxter, a lemon from the seventeen hundred.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna have a picture of it up on

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Speaker 1: the can Jeffrey inst story so you could see why

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Speaker 1: do we need preservatives of stuff from the seventeen hundred?

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Speaker 1: Sticks around the auction house figured what the heck, So

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Speaker 1: they decided to sell off the old lemon with a

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Speaker 1: starting price of fifty dollars.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty high. And what happened next.

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Speaker 1: Shock to everyone, because that shriveled fruit went for one thousand,

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Speaker 1: seven hundred and eighty dollars.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, is there even any proof that it's

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Speaker 2: really from the seventeen hundred.

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Speaker 1: To give me no legs, because I got some old

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Speaker 1: old produce, I could write some stuff.

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Speaker 2: Off it, and we want to sell it.

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Speaker 1: That seventeen hundreds lemon looks like an alvacado that's been

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Speaker 1: on the counter for six hours. Even funnier, the old

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Speaker 1: antique cabinet that they wanted to sell only went for

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Speaker 1: forty bucks. Ah, and hey got me thinking, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: Brooke does have some old food in her desk that

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Speaker 1: we could probably auction off for charity.

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Speaker 2: Here, I got lunch from a couple of nights ago.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you could team up with this guy for the auction.

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Speaker 1: He's always hiding surprise stuff in the bottom of random

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Speaker 1: people's shoes.

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Speaker 2: I see it could work out.

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Speaker 1: That means Laser's has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We'll do it again the same time on Monday.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning