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Speaker 1: your favorite store. Second date Update. Whenever we do second
Speaker 1: date updates, we always find out where hot people meet
Speaker 1: each other. Okay, yeah, these places like the clubs, the gym's,
Speaker 1: the broccoli store. There's a whole store. Hot people love
Speaker 1: their broccoli. They always eat healthy. They got hot somehow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you would know about the broccoli store if you
Speaker 1: were a hot person. So I don't. Yeah, dang it,
Speaker 1: I know about the Cheeto store. Is that the same?
Speaker 1: Not quite? Well, maybe there's one more place that hot
Speaker 1: people like to meet up. That's the optometrist. What, no, doctor?
Speaker 1: That's where Melissa says that she met her date. And
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get the low down on this, Melissa.
Speaker 1: How would you rate this guy on a scale from
Speaker 1: the top of the eye chart to the bottom. What
Speaker 1: are we talking about? It's the big e Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: So it's like he doesn't look better in one eye
Speaker 1: than the other. It's not your right eye or your
Speaker 1: left eye, it's both eyes. Right. I spent a lot
Speaker 1: of time with the Automatriss because I have really bad eyes.
Speaker 1: So maybe I only got that. What's the name of
Speaker 1: mister big e Us? What? Actually? What? Gus? Gus? Gus?
Speaker 1: You ask us? Yeah, you know what, it's funny the
Speaker 1: name Gus. You have to like a guy named Gus. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't meet a Gus. It's not nice. Was he nice?
Speaker 1: He was so nice? Yeah? Who doesn't want to hang
Speaker 1: out with Gus? All right? So how did how did
Speaker 1: you and Gus come to meet? Basically, we were both
Speaker 1: in the waiting room at our automatrous office and you
Speaker 1: guys bumped into each other blindly, and you're like, oh, actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: people took terrible eyesight. But at some point, I don't
Speaker 1: remember who started talking to who first, but we both
Speaker 1: started talking about how bad our vision is, and he
Speaker 1: actually made a really kind of creepy but funny comment. Okay,
Speaker 1: what do you say? He said, My eyes are still bad.
Speaker 1: I wish I could trade my eyes for yours. Oh
Speaker 1: so you want to take my eyeball school? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he actually said I would kill for your eyes. Oh,
Speaker 1: this guy's a keeper. Did you tell him that that
Speaker 1: was a little off pudding or were you like, yeah, baby,
Speaker 1: here's my number, here's my left eyeball. Well, I could
Speaker 1: see that he was joking, so I was just like,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't say that, you don't know me. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that was kind of creepy. Sorry. So what
Speaker 1: is that when he made the move to ask you
Speaker 1: out on a date? No, not quite. So he went
Speaker 1: in for his appointment before I did. So he actually
Speaker 1: left a note for the reception, has done his way
Speaker 1: out with his number on it. Oh that's pretty cute.
Speaker 1: That's a bold move. Yeah, okay, so did you guys
Speaker 1: go out on a date? Then? Yeah, we actually did.
Speaker 1: We went to a mini golf phub. Oh that's that's
Speaker 1: a great date. It's always good on a first date
Speaker 1: to have an activity. What's a mini golf club? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm imagining like a country club, but
Speaker 1: just really really tiny. You drank baron, you played mini golf,
Speaker 1: It's what she did. Nothing My idea sounds like, how
Speaker 1: was it? The mini golf pub was a lot of fun? Okay,
Speaker 1: what was like a big highlight for you. Well, I
Speaker 1: really liked a conversation was kind of quiet. So what's
Speaker 1: a conversation if the other person isn't talking. What do
Speaker 1: you mean by that? You liked hearing yourself talk. Well,
Speaker 1: we kind of bond it because he told me that
Speaker 1: it was his first real date since his wife dumped him.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, and I've actually told him I was
Speaker 1: married before also, so you know, we bonded over the
Speaker 1: fact that it's really hard to date again. It's awkward.
Speaker 1: Oh man, but that might be it, Like maybe he's
Speaker 1: not calling you back because it was his first date.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, maybe he wants to
Speaker 1: play the field a little bit. Maybe he's not maybe
Speaker 1: he's not for you, or he doesn't want used goods.
Speaker 1: That's not what I was saying. Oh, Jeffrey, Oh, I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're saying. I mean, yeah, I thought
Speaker 1: maybe that was why. But at the end of the night,
Speaker 1: it was kind of weird because he seems like he
Speaker 1: wanted to kiss me, like he was looking at me,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's the look on his face seemed
Speaker 1: like he was thinking that. So I just said, you know,
Speaker 1: if you want to kiss me, I'll probably let you. Oh,
Speaker 1: and I like that very cooly. But he was just
Speaker 1: like maybe in a minute, and then he never did,
Speaker 1: and the date just ended in a hug. Oh he
Speaker 1: didn't go in for the kiss. Then. Oh, it probably
Speaker 1: means he doesn't want to kiss you and maybe in
Speaker 1: a minute. Who puts it off? Who's like procrastinating the
Speaker 1: first kid? He's really nervous. I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: here's the thing, he's a really, really good looking guy.
Speaker 1: We did have good conversation. I just think maybe I
Speaker 1: did scare him, maybe it was too forward for him,
Speaker 1: or maybe he freaked out and realized she's not ready
Speaker 1: to date. I don't know. It's possible that he feels
Speaker 1: bad that he didn't take the opportunity to kiss you,
Speaker 1: and so now he's just too afraid to even try. Yeah. Maybe,
Speaker 1: but I've been texting him, so I don't understand why.
Speaker 1: You know, I've given him the option to still hang out,
Speaker 1: so he should know that I'm interested. Yeah, and you
Speaker 1: won't pressure him to kiss you next time? Huh? Right?
Speaker 1: All right, Well we're gonna play a song. We'll come back,
Speaker 1: call Gus and try to get your second date update.
Speaker 1: All right, all right, sounds good, all right, And if
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out, then maybe we'll have to go
Speaker 1: back to the Optometriss office and find another blindy to
Speaker 1: go out with. Okay, right, okay, hold on Melissa second updates.
Speaker 1: If you're just tuning in for today's second date update,
Speaker 1: we're on the phone with Melissa. Melissa is a sucker
Speaker 1: for shy recently divorced men with terrible eyesight turns me
Speaker 1: on brownie points if they hint at stealing her body
Speaker 1: parts too. That was her description. Yeah, really, Because she
Speaker 1: met Gus at the Optometris office where he joked about
Speaker 1: how he would kill to get her eyes. She thought
Speaker 1: that was cute. So they went out to a mini
Speaker 1: golf bar and bonded over the fact they've both been divorced.
Speaker 1: But then there was a weird moment towards the end
Speaker 1: of the night where Melissa said something what did you
Speaker 1: say again? Melissa? I said, you know, if you want
Speaker 1: to kiss me, I'll probably let you. It sounds like
Speaker 1: a good line. And did he kiss you? No? He
Speaker 1: did not. No, Kissa for Melissa, oh say that the
Speaker 1: whole time I did it. It took me like seven
Speaker 1: minutes to think of that one. I got it in.
Speaker 1: Oh man, Melissa, I think that it's pretty confident of
Speaker 1: you to even hit him back after he didn't kiss you.
Speaker 1: What she means to say is it was stupid, stupid,
Speaker 1: But I would have felt I would have felt pretty like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, rejected. So good on you for like
Speaker 1: persevering and trying to get a date with this guy.
Speaker 1: She's politely calling you dumb. Okay, Well, I know that
Speaker 1: I said he was quiet and everything, but I really
Speaker 1: really like him. I mean, that's why I'm calling to
Speaker 1: try and get him on the phone. Probably he basically
Speaker 1: has the best combination of great looks and personality. Okay,
Speaker 1: quiet guys, quiet and hot. That's why I like him.
Speaker 1: Just shut up and be beautiful over there, Gus. Well,
Speaker 1: let's give Gus a call and see if we can
Speaker 1: try and get you a second date. Update. Okay, great,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. All right, here we go. Hello, Hi,
Speaker 1: can I speak to Gus please? There's Gus. Hey, Gus,
Speaker 1: this is young Jeffrey. I work on the radio. I
Speaker 1: can I help you. I'm calling you to talk to
Speaker 1: you about your dating life. Do you have a minute
Speaker 1: to talk to us. Uh, sure, nice, I was hoping
Speaker 1: you'd say that, Oh, why would you want to talk
Speaker 1: to me about my dating life? Well, because somebody told
Speaker 1: us that you're really hot and good at date. Well
Speaker 1: I am really hot. Who would say that You're like,
Speaker 1: who wouldn't say that is what you mean? Guess Well,
Speaker 1: we got an email from a girl named Melissa. Melissa. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she said she recently went on a date with you,
Speaker 1: and now you're not responding when she's trying to text
Speaker 1: you and call you, so she wants to know why
Speaker 1: we had a great time. But I got a little intense.
Speaker 1: So she did say that there was a little bit
Speaker 1: of an awkward moment where maybe she said something that
Speaker 1: she shouldn't have, and she mentioned that, you know, if
Speaker 1: you tried to kiss me right now, I probably wouldn't
Speaker 1: say no or something along those lines. And then you
Speaker 1: didn't kiss her. Yea reected her. Yeah, I just I
Speaker 1: felt a little awkward at that moment. But that's not
Speaker 1: the reason why I didn't call her back. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you knew you were not going to call her back
Speaker 1: even before then. Yeah, we kind of had a conversation
Speaker 1: earlier and they got me a bit worried just talking
Speaker 1: about my ex wife and her ex relationships. Oh she
Speaker 1: mentioned that too, right, Yeah, she said that she was divorced.
Speaker 1: You don't want to date a divorced woman. Well, it's
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm divorced as well, but it's just the
Speaker 1: fact that her her other partners are deceased. They died.
Speaker 1: There's two of them. What she told me, they passed
Speaker 1: the same way, but she wouldn't tell me exactly how,
Speaker 1: And that really got me thinking all kinds of stuff. Wait,
Speaker 1: hold on, she told you she has two ex husbands.
Speaker 1: Apparently her ex husband's fine, but her two ex partners
Speaker 1: passed away, and I didn't want to be number three.
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. Like, that's your assumption is
Speaker 1: that she's the one that did the job. She didn't
Speaker 1: want to say it would happen. Oh that's a little shady.
Speaker 1: You didn't want to It could be something really personal.
Speaker 1: What's personal? Like, yeah, you're on a date, this is
Speaker 1: the time to get personal with someone. Yeah, she started
Speaker 1: talking about it, and then she just stopped and she
Speaker 1: just kind of acted like she said too much already.
Speaker 1: WHOA Okay, you guys, I think you all are watching
Speaker 1: too many true crime documentaries on like Netflix or something.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a terrible coincidence. And maybe it's just
Speaker 1: because it's none of your business. Like, why would you
Speaker 1: think that you're gonna die if you date her? That's silly.
Speaker 1: I mean, people die all the time from these weird stuff.
Speaker 1: That's why they make these true crime documentaries. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: saw this one where a bunch of guys were poisoned
Speaker 1: by this lady named the Black Widow. And she didn't
Speaker 1: did it for fun. It could be her. Melissa took
Speaker 1: you mini golfing and put it on the side, wanted
Speaker 1: to poison you. She reels you in. You can barely see.
Speaker 1: But this is crazy. You need to be cautious. Well, Gus,
Speaker 1: don't you want to like ask her about this directly?
Speaker 1: Well I kind of didn't. She didn't want to talk
Speaker 1: about it, so I mean, there's not much more I
Speaker 1: can say. Well, maybe she'd be more open to talking
Speaker 1: about it now because she has been on the other
Speaker 1: line listening. Get the O out of here. What the hell? Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, she's really there. She wants to talk to Melissa. Oh, Gus,
Speaker 1: I'm Melissa. I didn't know you were on the other line, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can tell. Oh hi, oh Bi, Melissa, aren't you passed?
Speaker 1: He thinks that you're like a serial killer. I'm not pissed.
Speaker 1: I guess I didn't want to talk about it. I
Speaker 1: guess I didn't think about how weird that would sound
Speaker 1: for you. Gus. Yeah, well it was weird that you
Speaker 1: didn't want to talk about it. Yeah, okay, well it's
Speaker 1: about to get weirder. Wait is this where you admit
Speaker 1: that you actually did it? No? No, so, I can't
Speaker 1: believe I haven't been saying this right now. Um, my
Speaker 1: husband's fine, well, ex husband. But I had two boyfriends
Speaker 1: who died during um passion? What passion? What does that mean?
Speaker 1: I'm no like um intimacy? Wait, you have two ex
Speaker 1: boyfriends who died in the sack with you? Yeah? How
Speaker 1: old are these ex boyfriends? Good point, they're not that old.
Speaker 1: I guess I can be a lot for some people.
Speaker 1: What's not that old? Like seventy? No? Like, healthy men
Speaker 1: don't die in the sack unless you're doing something crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, she put them in a sack? No?
Speaker 1: No wait wait Melissa, Yeah is this recent? No? Not really?
Speaker 1: I mean I've been married since then and he's fine.
Speaker 1: I mean, everything worked out except the divorced part obviously,
Speaker 1: but he was fine. And I would have told Gus
Speaker 1: if we went out more. But I really don't like
Speaker 1: to talk about it right away, you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: talking about the deaths of your boyfriends in this bedroom
Speaker 1: are not the best like first date topic, I would assume,
Speaker 1: or it's a pretty good brag, like you're so adventurous
Speaker 1: and wild in there that it killed two guys. I mean, so, Melissa,
Speaker 1: I just want to get some clarification. Did they die
Speaker 1: because you're like really good at that stuff or was
Speaker 1: it like an accident? Did you drown them? I don't
Speaker 1: know what your bedroom activities look like usually, Gus, But
Speaker 1: now I'm afraid for Melissa. I was thinking a heart attack.
Speaker 1: What are we talking to, Melissa? Yeah, I guess I
Speaker 1: could just be a lot for some men, and so
Speaker 1: I just I usually have to warn my relationships going
Speaker 1: into it. Wow, oh my god. Now, Gus, does that
Speaker 1: sound scary or more like a challenge for you? I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. I mean it sounds like a good thing.
Speaker 1: She's so kinky, you might die, bro. Mount Everest is
Speaker 1: not small bedroom, wait, Us, um, You're not just interested
Speaker 1: in me, in me because of what you heard about me. Right,
Speaker 1: It's not just because these two guys died in bed
Speaker 1: with me. Right. No, those aren't the only two reasons.
Speaker 1: There's there's only one reason there, Gus. No, I'm not
Speaker 1: just interested in you because I might die being with you.
Speaker 1: All right, Okay? Good sell? Was that good enough for you? Melissa? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just you know, when people hear
Speaker 1: that about me, I don't want them to think of
Speaker 1: me differently. You know, it's a little bit different thing
Speaker 1: to hear. But I still did you. Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe I'm a little bit more interested
Speaker 1: and intrigued. All right. Well, in that case, Gus, we'd
Speaker 1: love to send you and Melissa out on another date.
Speaker 1: We'll pay for it. I mean, we won't pay for
Speaker 1: the funeral costs after she kills you in the bedroom,
Speaker 1: but the date could be fun. Yeah. Well, I don't
Speaker 1: think it's me you're gonna have to be worried about.
Speaker 1: Said the other two guys too, I mean in the bedroom,
Speaker 1: not the funeral parlor. So is that a yes? Is
Speaker 1: that what you're saying? Guess? Do you want to go
Speaker 1: out with her again. Heck yeah, all right, all right, Melissa,
Speaker 1: we got you a second date. Great, Thank you guys. Dude,
Speaker 1: I thought this whole thing was ridiculous, and now I
Speaker 1: feel like we're like some accomplices to murder or something like.
Speaker 1: I'm very concerned. I'm just letting you know that if
Speaker 1: things get to that point, we're gonna have to talk
Speaker 1: about it, and you might even need to sign a waiver.
Speaker 1: What I've got the pen in my ham Let's tell
Speaker 1: me where to sign