WEBVTT - Who Raised You? 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:07.400 We like to welcome everyone to another episode of the 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:11.880 Cames the Chronicles podcast. It is raining in southern California. James. 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:14.800 That motherfucker was lying on that song when you said 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.640 it never rings in southern California because it's ringing cats 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:22.720 and dogs like motherfucker and and and it's actually kind 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:26.000 of chilly outside today, man, you know, But of course 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:31.159 I got my boy in house. Yeah, Man, when we 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:33.400 go discuss something to night like that. We've been talking 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:40.560 earlier about parenting and how parenting um plays a role 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:45.680 and who we ultimately become as people, you know, and 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:48.840 I want to touchdown on something first. Man. I've always 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:52.520 preached nothing but respect in my household, for your elders 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:55.080 and just for people in general, even people your agge, 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.560 you know, not talking crazy to people, being humble at 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.639 all times, you know, and not every thinking that she's 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:02.680 really better than nobody else. And I wanted to kind 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:05.280 of touch when this one situation it's kind of old, 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:07.720 but it feeds into what we were talking about to day. 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:11.119 So I was paying attention to the t I cat 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:14.759 online right right, And I guess his son that felt 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:17.000 um that fell out with one of the employees at 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.240 this restaurant that's really big in the soft called the 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:22.000 waffle House. I'm pretty sure you're familiar with the waffle House. Yeah, 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:26.160 I seen the video. Yeah, so um when I saw that, 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:28.800 a couple of things came to mind. First of all, 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.880 you know, when t I addressed a situation he was 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:36.280 talking to his son rather than discipline him. He was 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:39.080 almost like, why are you wasting your time talking to 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:43.880 a short order cook? Right? And that really pissed me off, man, 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:46.960 because you're sending the message now the way you're telling 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:49.480 your son, who seems like he already arrogant as all 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:53.720 get out and spoiled, that you above the working class man. 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:57.680 And you know, Mr t I, those people that work 0:01:57.720 --> 0:02:00.600 at the waffle House places like that, to work at Walmark, 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:03.000 that me work at Target and start shelves, and like, 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:05.080 those are the ones off to find crickets. The man's 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:08.560 first of all, right, average day people. Yeah, and they 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:11.400 should be treated with respect. So t I, if we 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:13.640 had to dunk you the fucking days there would be tis. 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:15.720 Don't ask for that ship because I didn't really think 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:18.720 that was cool. Well, you know, I watched him when 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.560 he had his little thing with tiny their little show, 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:27.519 and it seemed like he was raising his kids to 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:32.320 understand value. But then when I seen the little incident 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:35.679 in there with him, you know, I just slapped the 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:38.520 ship out of my side because you out of line 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:43.640 and to have wealth like like they like they do, 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.920 and for him to grow up and not have to 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:52.280 worry about anything or para shoes or Christmas and ship 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:55.680 like that. The way he runner his mouth be take 0:02:55.760 --> 0:03:00.320 life for granted. He wants to be a you do. 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:04.680 You're not cut from that club to be a street 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:09.679 dude talking about shooting in air and shipped out. Come on, man, 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:13.040 shut your son down as a father and tell your 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:17.200 son I made these mistakes. I don't want you to 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:20.919 make these mistakes. Don't tell him. Why would you argue 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:24.680 argue with somebody beneath you? Come on, that's funked up. 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:27.799 So yeah, you get a He get an f for 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:31.440 that one. But you know, these kids grow up. I 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:33.840 don't give a funk if you rich or not. Like 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:40.160 you know, man, it depends on the parent. Man kids 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:43.320 a certain kind of way. So you know, he get 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:46.360 an fl on that one. He dropped the ball. He 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.400 call you have a real man, and I'm might gonna 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:50.960 stay stuck with him for too long. Man. But that's 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:52.840 and I see that a lot because I had a 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:55.640 partner of mine, and I'm gonna be real careful and 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:58.360 kind of float around this because I don't want to 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:02.520 putting nobody's business out there whatever. But I saw as 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:04.960 he made his way kind of up in the industry, 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:08.600 the attitude of his kids they changed. They kind of 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:11.920 turned into little unbearable assholes. So it was to the 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.240 point that where once they wound up leaving the league 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:16.760 that we was in, I was actually kind of happy 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:19.120 because I was like this, I'm not about to sit 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:22.240 up here and called with your kids, man, right, you know, 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:24.200 I'm not just gonna do it, because I don't do that. 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:26.719 But my own kids, man, And I would like to 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:28.720 say that my kids grew up with a little bit 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:30.359 more than I did, not a little bit more, a 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:33.240 lot more than I did, you know, just even when 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:36.040 you go to such amenities as them having you know, 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:40.320 fift against from TVs in the room, video game stereos um, 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:43.640 stuff of that nature. You know, it was I remember 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:45.479 it was a time man with me and my brother 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:49.080 shared the bed at one point, right, we did you 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:50.560 know that was just what it was. You know, you 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:53.240 should you share be able with your brother and then 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.159 enough like that. You know you've got three beds in 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:57.800 the room. You might have to bunk up with somebody, 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:02.200 you know. So, oh, I think man, and I would 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:05.240 like to think that I've raised my kids to be respectable, 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.280 you know, be respectable young men and women and not 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:12.200 talk craisy to nobody else. But when we talked about 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:14.520 this earlier, do you think it's a such thing it's 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:16.640 giving the keys too much? Or do you think it's 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.040 a such thing? Is when you give the them these rewards, 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:21.680 do you need to kind of let them know that 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:24.080 this is not average everything stuff you need to be 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:27.200 prateful for, like like what you think, say, yeah, you gotta, 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.560 you gotta definitely telling them why they get the things 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:34.919 they do. Most of us wait a minute, no, go 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:41.640 take that in there, pop up doing something when I'm finished. Okay, 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:45.960 most of us, you know, we befriend our kids the 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:50.240 wrong way. We give like like me that I'm gonna 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:53.480 speak on me. I tried my best to give nine 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:56.640 of everything that I didn't have, and I tried to 0:05:56.640 --> 0:06:00.520 treat him totally different from how my all the words 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:03.919 with me, the same as I was with my two sons. 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:09.360 Now my two sons has never been to jail, never 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:14.080 saying in their parts. They both in the college, and 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:20.920 they understand where I came from. Now giving line of 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:23.560 the ship that I give him and trying to give 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:26.760 him everything, I try my best to give him everything. 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:31.920 He tends to be spoiled, well he is spoil And 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:35.280 then you have to work your way out of that 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:37.080 type of ship. What I mean, if I work your 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:38.760 way out of it. I had to switch it up 0:06:38.760 --> 0:06:42.159 with it because when we go to the store, he 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:45.880 sees something he wanted not even want to part about it. No, 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:49.080 that's not what it's about. I give you two things 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:52.479 because I know you need things. I'm not just buying 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:56.240 this ship just so you can have it. Man, knowing 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.599 half of the ship he got last Christmas, it's still 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:04.160 in by still still he's not even tripping on him 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:07.359 no more. No, he ain't even like you got a 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:11.360 brand new bicycle. He ain't road He got uh a 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:13.880 four wheeled truck in the garage. Then in the damn 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:17.760 box he got a goddamn scooter with the uh the 0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:22.320 the gas scooters. He got this motherfucker's sitting in the 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:25.679 corner in in his room. He got a hubbleboard, played 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:32.080 the music everything. He don't touch it aboard. Yeah, man, 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:35.800 I'm coming jealous, Mona to let me ride them now 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:41.600 you just have surgery on your knees, going right back 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:44.840 to the hospital. Yeah. But what what I'm saying is, yeah, 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.480 we do give our kids too much. You know, our 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:51.720 kids grow up getting too much now they expected and 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:55.960 they become a daughter lessons where they think mommy and 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.480 daddy is supposed to continue to give them the way 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:01.800 they did when they was kids. That's because we stopped 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:04.200 teaching them at a certain age because they think they 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:07.200 knew everything, so we let ship be what it is, 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:10.920 and now they all funked up. So yeah, it's parents 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:14.800 faunt that we do too much and give too much 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:19.200 without without a reason for real. And you know, let 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:21.160 me ask you this, James, because we came to the 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:23.720 you know, we were talking about discipline the other day 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:29.400 and in my household, I haven't gave too many woomans. 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:33.240 I don't really believe in hitting him a kid, you know. 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.640 I mean, you know, don't get me wrong, I believe 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:38.000 in punishing the kid if you do something wrong, you 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:40.040 have to be able accountable for your actions. So I 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:42.640 was being on the accountability, but at the same time 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:45.520 I didn't think the accountability ment slapping the shot out 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:48.280 of somebody, or getting switches and off the tree and 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:52.520 belts and all that. Ship man me and my personal opinion, 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.760 I think that that was back in our days. That 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:58.960 was time of the norm. And so I chose because 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.959 I got some fishers are us man, Well, it all 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:11.320 depends on what what what you consider a vicious ass whooping? Uh? 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:14.600 What I've learned you can discipline your kids without whooping 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:19.760 your kids in a vicious manner. You can discipline your 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:24.199 kids by taking the things they love. You know, sometimes 0:09:24.280 --> 0:09:28.360 it works, sometimes they don't. I used to say, I'm 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:31.480 not putting my my kid on no damn time out. 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:33.640 Lite will be on time. I like, Mom, but go 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.480 in your room getting your bid turned TV off, don't 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:39.680 touch it. But then he get up and coming the room, 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:43.800 and the first thing he said, Papa, I'm sorry. Why 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:47.959 are you sorry for what I did? What did you do? 0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:51.280 You know what I'm saying. So whooping has asked for 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:54.920 conversation and taking ship from him. He gets it and 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:58.520 he don't repeat it. It might be two months down 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:01.680 the line of five days down the line before he 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:05.560 repeat what he done. But it all depends on the 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:09.120 parents broke. It all depends on how you parent your kids. 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.760 You know what I'm saying. So you know, and that 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:17.240 barries in all different households because you got most parents 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:24.120 that befriend their kids before they parent their kids. And 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.920 that's a big problem. That that's a huge problem. Let's 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:29.600 give me that a little bit. People making turning their 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:32.240 kids and the friends. I look treatment kids like they're 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:34.720 the homeboy, they're the home girl. You know, the day 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:39.640 you see fathers and son getting high, you feel you 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:44.480 see mommy and daughter at the nightclub twerking, you see 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:50.240 mommy on the walking in the market with tights on, 0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:54.000 titties out, the whole nine. They're not teaching their their 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:57.360 daughters how to be ladies. So once we start taking 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:00.000 away from that, we're not teaching our sons. You got 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:09.200 father's out here committing crimes, robberies, murders, doing all kinds 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:12.320 of ships with their sons. So those cats out there 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:15.839 writing with their sons, well, the the boy pop smoke 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:20.719 or whatever, not pop smoke, but pe me something. That 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:25.880 boy murdered pnb Rock pnb Rock. Yeah, him and his 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:29.760 son and and baby, and and the boy mama in 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:34.120 jail for that. You know you cannot. And and I'll 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:38.080 be damned if I get caught doing any crime with 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:42.800 one of my kids or you know, in my kid life, 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:47.000 because I'm out here on some stupid ship. Now, that 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.920 boy might spend the rest of his life in prison 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:55.120 with his father, and this is what he got for 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:58.720 having that type of parents. You know what I'm saying. 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:01.840 I can't befriend my kids. I'm your father at all times. 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:05.920 I can't sit back and play dominoes and smoke weed 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:09.959 with you. I can't do that. Now you're you're older, 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:13.600 twenty some years old, thirty years old. I can sit 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:16.800 down and have a drink with you, But you're not 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:20.920 gonna sit under my table at my table and drink 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:25.000 and be sloppy drunk. You know what I'm saying. So 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:29.080 there's nothing wrong with it. They adults, they've grown, they 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:32.080 don't live with you. Is something different. But if you're 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:36.120 sitting in the house all days smoking marijuana, then you're 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:38.440 doing something wrong, Pops, because at the end of the day, 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:43.679 that little cat that's your son that you befriended. He's 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.719 gonna start, He's gonna see something. He's gonna now he 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:50.199 ready to fight you because he ain't scared his father, 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:54.959 you know, hommie. So yeah, man, You know, it all 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:58.440 depends on the parent and how we're parent and you 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.840 don't have to be in the same household to be 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:05.280 a parent. You just got to learn how to be 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:09.480 co parents and be on the same page with what's 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:13.480 best for your kids. And you definitely, James, you definitely 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:16.400 had to set boundaries and you have to set lines 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:19.440 where you know what I'm Pops and we can show 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:21.960 here and there. You know, I love joking around my boys, 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:25.520 but they know it's a certain level to take that. 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.000 You feel what I'm saying. At the end of the day, 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:31.480 I'm still Pops, so it ain't no disrespect. Will be celebrating. 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:34.360 At the same time, I see a lot of parents 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.200 they demand always respect for their children, but yet they're 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:39.520 not giving their children respect. Because you do have to 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:42.360 give your children respect to you know, because I've heard 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.199 you know, I think we've all been in the grocery 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:46.520 store and we to hear the parents calling their kids 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:48.920 all kind of motherfucker's and niggers and this and that, 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.600 you know, and just like and it's like, you know what, 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:53.679 how do you think this kid is gonna grow the 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:55.880 field from you at a certain point? And you called 0:13:55.920 --> 0:14:00.200 the mother's name right now? I grew up on that. Uh. 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:04.840 I was very, very disrespectful to my mom's. Her birthday 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:11.200 was yesterday, Happy birthday, Happy birthday, right. Uh. My mom 0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:16.240 was every bit every hole the way, the way she 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:22.200 was and how she talked. It wasn't until I got 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:27.840 older and Pops was talking that discipline here fucked me up. 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:31.280 I don't know. I car regards down home boy, and 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:34.200 you ain't. We ain't playing that ship. He couldn't touch 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:39.520 me after that. But that was just how my parents was. 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.480 And you know, me being a game member, being in 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:47.200 the streets, she couldn't tell me ship. It wasn't until 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:51.160 going to prison, sitting down listening to the Motorcats. You 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.760 only get one mama, And I came home with a 0:14:54.920 --> 0:15:00.440 with a with a different respect from my mother. You 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:05.200 know what I'm saying. Even when ship was rocky, I 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.960 didn't I didn't go back to those old ways, calling 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:11.960 her bitches and all that. Ship very disrespectful. I didn't 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:15.080 know how to love a woman until I started loving 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:18.160 my mama, you know what I'm saying, and then having 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:24.840 those conversations. It was to me it was never We 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:29.040 never had a conversation about what type of man I 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:33.800 should be, all how to be a man, until to 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:35.920 me it was damning too late. We didn't have enough 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:40.200 time for it. So this the this the killer part. 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:47.320 My mom she raised five kids by goddamn self. Hmm. 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:53.240 And when we got older, we complained about ship. You 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:55.600 know what I'm saying now, if you look at it, 0:15:56.000 --> 0:15:59.840 when your kids get older like mine did, they comp 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:04.040 aimed about ship. I didn't understand parenting until I started 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:08.000 having kids and my kids started acting like me. They 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:12.200 called me, I'm a motherfucking name. But when they started, 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:14.240 you wasn't there for me. You did this for me. 0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:16.640 This is the same shing I said to my parents 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:20.840 and kids, history repeats herself and these kids doing the 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:25.160 same ship. You know what I'm saying. You know you 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:27.600 can do so much, and thank you doing all the 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:32.560 right ship for my daughter. You think you're doing right 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:35.880 by your child. You know I raised her for eight 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:39.600 years when her mama was gone and I allowed her 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.760 to go back to her mother and the next thing 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.560 you know, she's seven eight months pregnant. This when I 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:49.880 find out. So I think that was a big mistake 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:52.400 on my part there. I shouldn't have I should have 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.720 raised her and it would have been totally different. But 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.200 you know, you can't go back and say if I 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:00.880 would have should have of that? If I if I 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:02.920 know that I would have did it this way, because 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:08.400 it's too late. It's already is there. So bro, it's 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:13.879 a it's a lot. But you know, our kids are selfish, 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.040 And then I gotta look back on how I was. 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.879 I was selfish as a motherfucker. I wanted things that 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:23.200 I couldn't get them, so I had tentional tantrums. I 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:26.680 I acted out a way that a kid should never 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:30.119 act with his mother, knowing that my mom was taking 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:34.600 care of five clothes, food. We never wanted for ship, 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:39.320 you know what I'm saying. Way back then, we went 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:45.359 from a two bedroom apartment to a house and living 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.439 a way we did. I don't know, we thought we 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:51.360 should expect more because we didn't, you know, like the Jeffersons, 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:55.560 we moved on up. We wanted Yeah, so you know, 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:02.399 it wasn't nothing she could of it did different, And 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:07.199 sometimes you get frustrated dealing with your kids. So she 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:10.080 that probably was her way of, you know, the way 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:12.199 she had died with me, because I was one of 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:14.879 the worstest, the toughest ones she had to deal with, 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:23.760 and you know, frustrating anger, you know, blaming me for 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:26.920 the reasons why, like pops don't want to be there. 0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:29.440 If it wasn't for you, I mean, your daddy would 0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:33.200 be fine, type of said. So, yeah, man, some things 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:37.040 we say shit to our kids that we shouldn't say. 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:43.400 We try to chastise and discipline a little rough sometimes 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:47.760 and we shouldn't, you know what I'm saying. Uh, my 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:51.919 mom thought her tough love to her boys was whiling 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:55.200 her fists that are built you at some point you're 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:58.760 gonna be a man. But that that made me resent women. 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:02.879 Another motherfucking women ain't gonna hit me. You hit me, 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:04.560 I'm gonna try my best to hit your heart. And 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:10.000 the motherfucker she had never hit another man. So it 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:12.679 might work for something, it might not work for others. 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:15.800 It didn't work for me, you know what I'm saying. 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:19.720 It made me resent her more and that's why I 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:24.400 last out with you know, to be words, fuck you, hoole, uh, 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:28.600 kiss my ass, all of those words. But at the 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:32.439 end of the day, you know, kids grow up to 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:36.439 be grown men, grown women, and then you start realizing 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:42.120 this ship that you've done, because your kids are our 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:45.280 image of you, the way you were when you were younger. 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:52.159 You know what I'm saying now, the way your parents 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:57.240 it's totally different from how our fathers was back then. 0:19:58.600 --> 0:20:03.439 I t to too left. Well, I never used the 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:07.200 stitching chord on my kids. Oh no, I think, see 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:10.439 my problem, and that's my thing. James. You know, you 0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:12.879 gotta remember I was raised by a man. It was 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:15.800 from Mississippi. He was he was a little bit older 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:17.199 than my mom. Not a little bit older. He was 0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:19.720 about quably, like fifteen years older than my MoMA, right, 0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:22.879 So that was how he was raised. They got asked 0:20:22.880 --> 0:20:26.159 woman's you know extinction chord switches when they braided the 0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:27.840 switches up when they come in there and make you 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:30.240 get button naked, and he was getting them, you see 0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:33.159 what I mean. I remember one time he had like 0:20:33.200 --> 0:20:35.520 a little basin in the backyard, in the back porch, 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:37.879 and he had these sticks and they're like keeping them 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:41.479 wet like and had the things tied up, and just 0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:44.000 the thought of me possibly get my assport with that 0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:46.320 gave me a bunch of act, right, because when you 0:20:46.400 --> 0:20:49.680 felt that thing hit you, ain't nothing more like switches. 0:20:49.720 --> 0:20:53.440 This braiding together, ain't nothing like fishing rids, and ain't 0:20:53.480 --> 0:20:57.000 nothing like just a good old fashioned ass swooping. James. 0:20:57.040 --> 0:20:59.640 That should be borderline and legal dog, because I would 0:20:59.680 --> 0:21:04.920 have up on my body. I still got marks from right. 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:08.399 My popes used to me out and Timmy had to 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:12.160 take a bath together. We was little. I mean when 0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:14.080 we got out to tell we had to line up 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:17.560 in one line together, and he had this razor. You 0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:21.520 remember how they used to sharpen the straight razors, those 0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:25.879 those belts for sure. Man, We used to try to 0:21:25.920 --> 0:21:29.920 fight to get in the middle because you really didn't 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:34.600 feel everything in the middle, and and on your far left. 0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:37.640 The way he had us. The one on the end 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:42.760 to the right got it more and he tricked us 0:21:42.880 --> 0:21:45.359 and he would just he would move to the side 0:21:45.400 --> 0:21:47.600 and he would whack that man. That was the worst 0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:52.280 his ass whooping besides the stitching cord you would ever want. 0:21:53.119 --> 0:21:57.520 So I'm a proven fact to saying, whooping your kids 0:21:57.560 --> 0:22:05.680 with objects that should remain plugged up are play somewhere. 0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:11.480 It don't work, Yeah, it don't work. It don't work 0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:13.720 because what you do change. I'm gonna tell you something 0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:16.040 like you said. And this is what I always tell 0:22:16.119 --> 0:22:18.640 my homeboys right when they got young kids. Always tell 0:22:18.680 --> 0:22:21.880 them that little boy ain't nothing but a chrome man 0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:24.040 inside of a look ky his body, and he's going 0:22:24.119 --> 0:22:27.640 to remember everything. So everything that you do to him, 0:22:27.760 --> 0:22:31.000 he's gonna get it back to you and then something offens, right, 0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:33.760 so you have to treat them with respect. Now, don't 0:22:33.800 --> 0:22:37.320 get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with discipline. It's like 0:22:37.400 --> 0:22:40.000 with my middle son. He didn't give a damn about 0:22:40.000 --> 0:22:42.360 no ass whoop. Even if you did, you know, because 0:22:42.359 --> 0:22:43.800 I'll pop them a little bit into but you know 0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:45.359 what I'm hearing there, But he didn't care about that 0:22:45.400 --> 0:22:47.399 and didn't hurt him. My wife would be trying to 0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:49.320 whoop his ass and she would get so fresh friate 0:22:49.320 --> 0:22:51.960 because he's sitting there looking at it like that, don't hurt, that, 0:22:52.040 --> 0:22:53.959 don't hurt. I don't care. And he was just right 0:22:54.080 --> 0:22:55.639 even if he went in the room and cryed. Later on, 0:22:55.640 --> 0:22:57.720 he wouldn't gonna let her. No, you're not gonna break me. 0:22:58.240 --> 0:23:00.160 And that's how it was. But what I figured out 0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:02.080 with him, he liked to be outside all the time. 0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:04.560 He liked to go pride to school and go play. 0:23:04.680 --> 0:23:06.640 If you took that ship from for a couple of days, 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:09.880 you got all kind of act right, right right, That's 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:12.439 what I was saying earlier. You know, you don't have 0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:15.560 to beat your child to get him to understand. Like 0:23:17.119 --> 0:23:22.120 having landing in my life today. It's so different because 0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:25.119 as a father, I was in the streets. I was 0:23:25.160 --> 0:23:28.200 doing all kind of ship when my first time was born. 0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:31.760 I was I was twenty years old and went to 0:23:31.840 --> 0:23:38.080 prison and him come to visit me in prison, like 0:23:38.280 --> 0:23:41.080 damn my son. He running around and goddamn visiting room, 0:23:41.119 --> 0:23:46.080 talking about that's my daddy, my daddy. And it was 0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:52.199 so crazy that I whooped myself one time and he 0:23:52.280 --> 0:23:54.920 called his teacher a bit and I went to the 0:23:54.960 --> 0:23:57.200