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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all?

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Speaker 2: It's em Obviously you're love seeing the five minute Friday

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Speaker 2: on Hurdle. I'm feeling a little silly, and honestly, I

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Speaker 2: am feeling so much better than I did yesterday. I've

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Speaker 2: been talking about this for a little while. Now this

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Speaker 2: is the last episode I'm going to talk about it in.

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Speaker 2: I did my egg retrieval on Tuesday. Wednesday. I was

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Speaker 2: in a very dark place, and thankfully I my fingers

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Speaker 2: are crossed. I'm knocking on wood if I'm telling you this.

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Speaker 2: I feel as though I have turned the corner. I've

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Speaker 2: gotten a lot of questions of my d MS about

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Speaker 2: how it went, how I'm feeling, et cetera.

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Speaker 1: How it went was.

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Speaker 2: I haven't been under anesthesia in twenty plus years until Tuesday.

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Speaker 2: I got to the clinic quite early at seven fifteen.

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Speaker 2: My retrieval was scheduled for eight thirty. By I felt

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Speaker 2: like clockwork like by seven twenty. I was in my gown.

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Speaker 2: By seven twenty five. Someone was explaining everything to me.

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Speaker 2: By seven thirty five, I had been offered eye patches

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Speaker 2: and I was relaxing and finding some calm before we

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Speaker 2: went in. The doctor stopped in and literally eight thirty

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Speaker 2: on the dot. I was in the do we call

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Speaker 2: it an operating room? I was in the room, the

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Speaker 2: whole team was there. I was introduced to four people

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Speaker 2: that were around me, and within thirty seconds I was

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Speaker 2: knocked out. And I woke up and I was in

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Speaker 2: the recovery room and the doctor came over and told

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Speaker 2: me how everything went, and then my mom was there.

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Speaker 2: We the clinic I went to. I did this all

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Speaker 2: through Spring Fertility, and we were in midtown. Their office

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Speaker 2: is located near Brighton Park, and so we were going

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Speaker 2: to take a car home, but I looked at the

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Speaker 2: traffic and it said it would take about an hour

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Speaker 2: to get back to Brooklyn, and there was no way

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Speaker 2: I was doing that. So we just hopped on the subway,

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Speaker 2: got home in thirty minutes, grabbed bagels on my corner

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Speaker 2: before going up into the apartment, got home, napped, and

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Speaker 2: laid around the rest of the day. Thankfully, my one

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Speaker 2: of my closest friends came and stayed the night, and

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Speaker 2: that was really nice to have someone there with me.

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Speaker 2: Although I slept horribly and then woke up on Wednesday,

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Speaker 2: and the best way that I can describe how I

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Speaker 2: felt on Wednesday is like I had the flu, except

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Speaker 2: I wasn't congested, my entire body ached. I was exhausted,

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Speaker 2: just felt totally down and out. I had a podcast

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Speaker 2: recording in the middle of the day and was able

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Speaker 2: to put on a positive face. And at the end

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Speaker 2: I had spoken to this person that I was chatting

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Speaker 2: with about the fact that I had my retrieval of

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Speaker 2: the day before before we got into the session, and

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Speaker 2: I told her, I was like, I really needed this,

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Speaker 2: so thank you, Like I have not been feeling like

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Speaker 2: myself today and she said I had. It had totally

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Speaker 2: slipped my mind. You told me that you did that

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Speaker 2: you crushed and that was a really good feeling, just

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Speaker 2: a reminder that it's really special when you feel excited

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Speaker 2: and empowered by the work that you do. And that's

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Speaker 2: how I feel when I get to sit down and

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Speaker 2: yap and chat with all of you. And so today

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Speaker 2: I woke up, I went for my little walk around

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Speaker 2: the neighborhood. The achiness is definitely down. As I'm talking,

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Speaker 2: I'm realizing I haven't taken ivy profen since quite early

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Speaker 2: this morning, which means that the pain.

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Speaker 1: Is down a bit.

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Speaker 2: Your ovaries, the experts say literally go from the size

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Speaker 2: of quite small. I think they say almonds, but I

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Speaker 2: know they're bigger than that, but they liken it from

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Speaker 2: almonds to melons. I felt like I was walking around

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Speaker 2: and just with massive masses in my abdomen. The abdomen

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Speaker 2: feels like the bloating has gone down a bit. It's

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Speaker 2: still certainly nowhere near normal, but I'm just starting to

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Speaker 2: feel more like myself and for that, I'm really grateful

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Speaker 2: and to be on the other side of this now

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Speaker 2: I have. I have a lot of takeaways. I would

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Speaker 2: say one of my biggest takeaways is that if I

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Speaker 2: worked at a place that offered this, if I worked

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Speaker 2: at or for a company that subsidized this procedure and

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Speaker 2: fertility at all, I would certainly take advantage of it.

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Speaker 1: It is very expensive.

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Speaker 2: I think I talked about this previously on an episode,

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Speaker 2: but all in I would say it was about fourteen

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars and that is something that I had to

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Speaker 2: plan and save and work hard to make happen for myself.

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Speaker 2: And it was an excuse that I used for a

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Speaker 2: really long time, saying that the money was the reason

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't doing it. And if that wasn't an

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Speaker 2: excuse that I could have taken. I probably would have

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Speaker 2: done this a while ago. I feel at ease knowing

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Speaker 2: that I did something really great for myself. And I

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Speaker 2: don't know if I will use them. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I definitely want children, but I like knowing that

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Speaker 2: I have this option now and that feels really empowering.

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Speaker 2: And I care so deeply about self care and making

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Speaker 2: time for myself and being proactive about asking myself what's

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Speaker 2: best for Emily. And this is probably the biggest act

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Speaker 2: of self love that I have ever partaken in. And

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Speaker 2: it's so funny, right because I have always been the

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Speaker 2: kind of person where if someone needs my help or

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Speaker 2: my time, or even if they don't ask for it,

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Speaker 2: I have no problem showing up for the people that

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Speaker 2: I care about, even admittedly when it's not the most

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Speaker 2: convenient thing for me. That's just how that's my love

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Speaker 2: language outwardly is I show up. And I can't always

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Speaker 2: say that I've been the best at doing that for myself.

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Speaker 2: And in doing this and showing up for myself, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm really proud of me. And it has been a

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Speaker 2: wild ride and an emotional experience. And let me tell

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Speaker 2: you I cannot wait to get back to moving my

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Speaker 2: body how I would like to. But in the meantime,

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Speaker 2: the grace that I have had for myself, the patience

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Speaker 2: I have had with this process, and the calm I

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Speaker 2: feel coming out on the other side, it's really special.

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Speaker 2: I do want to say thank you one more time

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Speaker 2: for all of you who have been in my DMS,

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Speaker 2: in my email and my messages, not only wishing me

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Speaker 2: luck this week, but offering your advice and you It

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Speaker 2: means so so, so so much to me. I don't

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Speaker 2: even feel like I can do that justice. I'm going

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Speaker 2: to skip over a prompt this week and just leave

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Speaker 2: you with some gratitude from me and hop into a

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Speaker 2: listener question. Hey, Emily, it's Joe from NYC. My question

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Speaker 2: for you this week is how do you respond to

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Speaker 2: negative comments both psychologically and logistically?

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Speaker 1: I e.

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Speaker 2: Do you delete them, respond to them and leave them up,

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Speaker 2: et cetera. Thanks so much and love your show. You

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Speaker 2: are incredibly inspiring to me. Oh goodness, hey, Joe, this

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Speaker 2: is a good question. It's a good question because I

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Speaker 2: am now at this point where I refuse to trade

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Speaker 2: inner piece for a digital interaction.

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Speaker 1: So what I mean by that.

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Speaker 2: Logistically, my role is if it's not constructive, it's not staying.

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Speaker 1: Psychologically, I always.

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Speaker 2: Make it a point to remind myself that my why

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Speaker 2: is just so much bigger than someone's why not. And

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Speaker 2: what I mean by that is that I want to

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Speaker 2: keep showing up. I want to keep being brave, and

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Speaker 2: I refuse to let the comments section dictate my worth.

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Speaker 2: And so what does that look like in practice? For

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Speaker 2: mild disagreements or maybe moments where we have a differing opinion,

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Speaker 2: I will ignore that, leave it up. I can handle

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Speaker 2: that sort of discourse. For constructive criticism that might be

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Speaker 2: a bit salty, I have no problem killing with kindness.

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Speaker 2: So I would say something like I really appreciate your

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Speaker 2: perspective and that from my POV has always been slightly disarming.

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Speaker 1: And then I'm that much of a blocker.

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Speaker 2: I literally have a handful of people that I've blocked

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Speaker 2: on social media that have really crossed a line that

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Speaker 2: makes me feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: But for anything that is hateful or.

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Speaker 2: Bigoted or threatening, that is a case when I would

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Speaker 2: delete and just get that off my page.

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Speaker 1: I don't want that kind of conversation on my page.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to have that kind of discourse with anyone,

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Speaker 2: and at the end of the day, when it comes

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Speaker 2: to negative comments and opinions, I just remind myself that

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to take criticism from any one that

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't take advice from, especially not to heart. And

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Speaker 2: so the best thing that I can do to safeguard

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Speaker 2: my mental health and wellbeing is take a deep breath,

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Speaker 2: understand that everyone has their own hurdles that they are

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Speaker 2: making an effort to conquer, and more often than not,

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Speaker 2: when negativity comes my way, it doesn't necessarily have anything

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Speaker 2: to do with me. I hope that shed some light

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Speaker 2: on where I come from, how I handle things, and

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Speaker 2: I recognize that it certainly isn't easy. In an interview

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Speaker 2: I did the other day that will be on the

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Speaker 2: show on Monday with Andrea Carter from ESPN, she told

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Speaker 2: me that unless she's following you, she doesn't allow those

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Speaker 2: messages into her DMS. She has that setting turned on

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Speaker 2: on her Instagram, and that's because she hasn't found a

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Speaker 2: way to keep that boundary in a way that makes

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Speaker 2: her feel safe. She wants to focus on her work

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Speaker 2: and by keeping all of the I'll use air quotes

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Speaker 2: here hater out of her DMS that allows her to

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Speaker 2: do so. Everyone is different. Everyone is different and this

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Speaker 2: is what I do. So with that said, thanks for listening.

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Speaker 2: Always looking for your listener questions, feel free to email

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Speaker 2: me with yours over at Hello at hurdle dot us.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you're following over at Emiliabadi and at Hurdle

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Speaker 2: Podcast Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch you guys next time