Speaker 1: Hey y'all, we're back with another episode of TVG University.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Doctor joy Hard and Bradford, and today
Speaker 1: we're joined by another very special guest. We'll get right
Speaker 1: into our conversation afterword from our sponsors. Nia Simone is
Speaker 1: a powerhouse who knows all about pivoting with purpose. A
Speaker 1: former D one athlete turned rising star in sports broadcasting,
Speaker 1: She's proved that your story doesn't end when the game
Speaker 1: clock runs out, it evolves. In this episode, Nia opens
Speaker 1: up about the identity shift that came with stepping away
Speaker 1: from competitive sports, how she built a new lane in media,
Speaker 1: and the importance of showing up as her full, authentic
Speaker 1: self in an industry that hasn't always made space for
Speaker 1: voices like hers. We're talking about self discovery, representation, and
Speaker 1: redefining what it means to be a woman in sports.
Speaker 1: So whether you're an athlete, a creative, or someone standing
Speaker 1: at the edge of your next chapter, this one's for you.
Speaker 1: Let's get into our conversation. If something resonates with you
Speaker 1: while enjoying our conversation, please share with us on social
Speaker 1: media using the hashtag TVG in Session. Well, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us. Today, Neia, of course, thanks
Speaker 1: for having me. Yeah, So for those who may not
Speaker 1: be familiar, can you tell us a little bit about
Speaker 1: your background and how you got to where you are
Speaker 1: now in life?
Speaker 2: Of course right? Antonia Small born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker 2: Been playing basketball since the age of four all the
Speaker 2: way into the age of twenty two, so very very
Speaker 2: long time. My mom put me in various different sports
Speaker 2: growing up, and I think basketball is what made sense
Speaker 2: because I grew really fast. So former Division one basketball
Speaker 2: player now sports broadcaster. False but of many things. I'm
Speaker 2: also an entrepreneur, athlete advocate. I'm the owner of Purpose
Speaker 2: to Be her productions and amongst other things that I'm
Speaker 2: building out right now specifically for athletes. So excited to
Speaker 2: be honest here more of myself.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to chat with you. So I don't
Speaker 1: know if you know this, Nia, but I am like
Speaker 1: a newly converted women's basketball staying like I'm in full
Speaker 1: blown like much manness, get my bracket ready and all
Speaker 1: the things.
Speaker 2: So excited.
Speaker 1: So I would love to hear from you, like as
Speaker 1: somebody who has been in this field, right, Like, what
Speaker 1: are your thoughts around like the birth and like the
Speaker 1: energy and excitement that you feel like is surrounding women's
Speaker 1: basketball right now.
Speaker 2: About time, doctor Joy, About time. It is long long
Speaker 2: over due. I mean women's basketball has always been this exciting.
Speaker 2: And I'm not being biased because I'm a former women's
Speaker 2: basketball player, but I mean it seriously is I can't
Speaker 2: remember growing up before we even had a WNBA team
Speaker 2: here in Atlanta. My mom would expose me very early
Speaker 2: to seeing what my feature could look like. And so
Speaker 2: I would go to the Georgia Tech women's basketball game.
Speaker 2: So Georgia say women's basketball games, and so to just
Speaker 2: know the amount of women whose stories still haven't been
Speaker 2: told or may have some life, you know, fall under
Speaker 2: the crevices because of just the lack of storytelling, the
Speaker 2: lack of coverage when it comes to women's basketball. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's incredible. It's about time. And I'm so happy to
Speaker 2: see just all these women from the w nbare women's
Speaker 2: college basketball, I mean women's sports as a whole, to
Speaker 2: finally see us get the recognition that we've always deserved
Speaker 2: because we work just as hard, if not more than
Speaker 2: our male counterparts. It's about time, doctor Tory.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm very excited, and I'm not like a big
Speaker 1: sports person in general, So I have two little ones
Speaker 1: who have kind of converted me to like just being
Speaker 1: a spectator. But I have really fallen in love, I
Speaker 1: think with women's basketball because of the storytelling, right, Like
Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying like getting to know more about the
Speaker 1: women and their lives and their families. Like that's what
Speaker 1: really draws me in. So I still don't.
Speaker 2: Really even know all the rules and like what am
Speaker 2: I even.
Speaker 1: Paying attention to, But I'm very excited by what I
Speaker 1: see off the court, right, and like just wanting to
Speaker 1: follow these stories. So besides just good old kind of
Speaker 1: patriarchy and there's a sprinkle of some racism and all
Speaker 1: of that, are there other reasons do you think why
Speaker 1: women's sports hasn't been covered at the same levels?
Speaker 2: You know, of course you said racism, sexism, even homophobia.
Speaker 2: You know, when it comes to the WNBA, I believe
Speaker 2: about a quite half percentage are part of the LGBTQ
Speaker 2: plus community. But also too, I think another part place
Speaker 2: to it is just society. Society has always said that
Speaker 2: women should let the man lead, which is I'm not
Speaker 2: against that, right, but there's a certain standpoint where it's like, no,
Speaker 2: we're not just gonna stay in the kitchen and raise
Speaker 2: the kids and stay at home and not go out
Speaker 2: and beat us. Go out and explore different parts of
Speaker 2: us and celebrate different parts of us. So I think
Speaker 2: when you factor in again all those things that I've named,
Speaker 2: aside from just society putting this stigma that women have
Speaker 2: to be feminine and they can't compete and they can't
Speaker 2: work and if they're too loud and voisterous there they're
Speaker 2: too much. I love how we now even society is
Speaker 2: pushing back on the level of how women show up
Speaker 2: in this world. We're saying, oh no, not here, not here. No,
Speaker 2: I am talented, I'm smart, I'm beautiful, I'm athletic. I
Speaker 2: bring a lot to the table and I'm gonna back
Speaker 2: it up. And if I needed to see you on
Speaker 2: the court, then that's fine too.
Speaker 1: Some let's talk about some of your time on the court. So,
Speaker 1: first of all, for people who may not be familiar
Speaker 1: with some of this terminology, what does it mean to
Speaker 1: be a D one athlete?
Speaker 2: Like what is D one? And what are the other D.
Speaker 1: Stings for division? So how many divisions are there? Like
Speaker 1: what classifies what division you are.
Speaker 2: So Division one or D one is the highest level
Speaker 2: that you could play at on the collegiate level. So
Speaker 2: there's Division one, there's Division two, there's Division three, and
Speaker 2: then there's also NAIA and n CCAA and all these
Speaker 2: different leagues, so there's a lot of different leagues. I
Speaker 2: remember going through my recruitment process. I've always been playing
Speaker 2: high level basketball. I started playing ball at four, started
Speaker 2: playing travel ball NonStop at the age of eight. Then,
Speaker 2: of course the goal once you get to high school,
Speaker 2: it's no more, Hey, we're just playing for fun, We're
Speaker 2: playing for a scholarship. Even what I see for this
Speaker 2: generation now, and I can only imagine how much pressure
Speaker 2: is putting on them now with NIL and the transfer portal,
Speaker 2: I mean, so much has changed, and I'm only six
Speaker 2: years removed getting caught up in the whole D one,
Speaker 2: D two, D three thing. Once you get in it,
Speaker 2: it's just like, Okay, But where am I gonna go?
Speaker 2: Where number one my coach is gonna value me, Where
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get my best education and have the best
Speaker 2: four years of my life because it goes by quickly.
Speaker 2: Where am I gonna go where I feel safe? I
Speaker 2: feel heard. I feel seen, even if I don't have
Speaker 2: a good day on the court or on the field,
Speaker 2: whatever sport you play. I know that regardless of which
Speaker 2: I chose this institution because I felt like this was
Speaker 2: the best that suited me, and so like many of us,
Speaker 2: we kind of just have to go and find out
Speaker 2: for ourselves. If I could tell my younger self, one
Speaker 2: thing is don't get caught up then the whole D one,
Speaker 2: D two, D three thing, because you can still go
Speaker 2: on and have a successful career post whether it's post college,
Speaker 2: and you want to go and play on the professional level,
Speaker 2: that's possible to do at a D two D three
Speaker 2: Naia level, go on to have a good education. You
Speaker 2: don't want to just go to a school where you're
Speaker 2: eligible to play, but then you're not even working on
Speaker 2: the degree that you really want to do. So if
Speaker 2: I desire to be a doctor and I want to
Speaker 2: go the pre ment track, and for whatever reason, either
Speaker 2: a the institution that I decided to sign to didn't
Speaker 2: necessarily have the pre mint routes, now I have to
Speaker 2: settle for biology or anything of that sort. Why go
Speaker 2: through all the stressors of kind of setting back your
Speaker 2: dreams and goals only to be eligible, because at the
Speaker 2: end of the day, it is a business. And I'm
Speaker 2: not saying that every culture, every institution does not have
Speaker 2: the best interest in their athletes, but at the end
Speaker 2: of the day, it's a business and they're trying to
Speaker 2: make their money. So if you can play, you're healthy,
Speaker 2: and you're you're a good student on and off the court,
Speaker 2: that's all they really care about.
Speaker 1: So encouraging people to kind of look at the bigger picture,
Speaker 1: right like, this ball is not the only thing.
Speaker 2: It is not the only thing. Please think ahead. And
Speaker 2: I always when I talk to athletes now it's like
Speaker 2: it's okay to have a Plan B or Plan C.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean you are unsuccessful of achieving Plan A.
Speaker 2: But we have the factor in so much when it
Speaker 2: comes to being an athlete, things are out of our
Speaker 2: control when it comes to career ending, season ending injuries.
Speaker 2: Maybe for whatever reason, it didn't work out at the
Speaker 2: institution that you were at, so now you have to
Speaker 2: find another institution to go to. I mean, it's just
Speaker 2: so much that factors in that it's okay to think about.
Speaker 2: It's not a bad thing to think about because you
Speaker 2: don't want to walk across that stage in May or
Speaker 2: December whenever you graduate, and then you're like, oh wait,
Speaker 2: this is up to me now, Like what am I
Speaker 2: supposed to do? I got this degree in communications, but
Speaker 2: I don't want to do anything in communications. I only
Speaker 2: got it to be eligible to play. That's hindering yourself
Speaker 2: because you literally spent four years of your life giving blood, sweat, tears,
Speaker 2: waking up at six am, practicing two three times out
Speaker 2: of the day to only go to a class that
Speaker 2: you don't really care about. You're only in it to
Speaker 2: be eligible. Then it's like you did all that work
Speaker 2: for nothing. Yeah, so what would you say, Neil?
Speaker 1: Are some of the most kind of common mental health
Speaker 1: challenges if you remember, like your time as a student athleader,
Speaker 1: even just talking and working with other student athletes. What
Speaker 1: are some of the mental health challenges you see as
Speaker 1: that route anxiety?
Speaker 2: Anxiety? I think as humans and I've learned to embrace it.
Speaker 2: Like I tell people all the time, I have high
Speaker 2: function and anxiety. I've been diagnosed for it. I take
Speaker 2: daily medication for it, I meditate, I go to therapy
Speaker 2: simply because when we factor in the traumas that we
Speaker 2: felt as athletes, and you could have had a great
Speaker 2: experience things that that's sort. But when I say traumas,
Speaker 2: I don't mean just going to an institution and things
Speaker 2: didn't work out or having a traumatizing the experience. It
Speaker 2: could be something as simple as I had this knee
Speaker 2: injury and I am so afraid to put any weight
Speaker 2: bearing energy on it because if I do, I might
Speaker 2: hurt it again, or having those splashbacks from an injury
Speaker 2: that all stems. It's trauma, right, So if you don't
Speaker 2: necessarily go and see anybody about it, it builds and
Speaker 2: it builds and it builds. As athletes, we are over achievers.
Speaker 2: We are okay when we want to work in our craft.
Speaker 2: If we really love the game, we're in the gym.
Speaker 2: We're gym rats. Or like I said, if you played
Speaker 2: any field sports, you're out in the field. You're getting
Speaker 2: those extra hits in or extra catches in, some extra
Speaker 2: ball hitting for tennis players, whatever that looks like. We
Speaker 2: are always perfecting ourselves. We are perfectionists. If we don't
Speaker 2: perform well on the court, well guess what, already automatically
Speaker 2: we're considered failures. Right, It's more of the self taught
Speaker 2: because everybody else around you, from your coaches, your teammates,
Speaker 2: your professors, your parents, siblings, and whoever else is counting
Speaker 2: on you. They're constantly putting in their ear like, hey,
Speaker 2: you've got to pick this up. You know, they're encouraging you,
Speaker 2: and you're thinking about all the people that you have
Speaker 2: behind you that are believing in you. And so I
Speaker 2: think as athletes, what we have to unlearn is that
Speaker 2: we are human. We heat are human beings, and just
Speaker 2: like you have a bad day at the office, you
Speaker 2: can have a bad day at the office on the court.
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with that. It's about how you respond
Speaker 2: to it. But for us, and this is what I've
Speaker 2: observed through even some of the youth athletes that I
Speaker 2: train now as a boxing coach, I'm constantly telling them like, hey,
Speaker 2: like my kids every time I have them go in
Speaker 2: and do a three minute round of jump ropes, and
Speaker 2: some of my kids, I can see when they're frustrated
Speaker 2: because they can't get over the rope, they can't find
Speaker 2: their rhythm, and then they're looking at all the other
Speaker 2: students who actually have mastered jump roping. But that's because
Speaker 2: they've been in class. So longer than they have. Where
Speaker 2: I am now as a coach doing the things that
Speaker 2: I wish somebody was telling me, Hey, it's okay, you
Speaker 2: made a mistake. Let's put the jump rope to the
Speaker 2: side and let's just do air jump ropes. Then I
Speaker 2: want you to pick back up the jump rope and
Speaker 2: try it again, but take your time and find your rhythm.
Speaker 2: And so I think the same goals for any athlete,
Speaker 2: whether you're a professional athlete, you're a collegiate athlete, you're
Speaker 2: a retired athlete, showing grace to yourself and acknowledging what
Speaker 2: it is that you feel. And so I think a
Speaker 2: bit of anxiety shows up because we've always been in
Speaker 2: a spotlight. We've always kind of had some sort of privilege, right,
Speaker 2: so when all of that stops, some of us we
Speaker 2: still in our own way have some type of doubts
Speaker 2: with anxiety or depression and other bits of us we
Speaker 2: kind of don't ever get out of it. I just
Speaker 2: wish that there were, at least during my generation. I
Speaker 2: can think about the generation before me where I'm not
Speaker 2: necessarily coddling you. I'm still showing you tough love, but
Speaker 2: I'm also encouraging you and uplifting you and reminding you
Speaker 2: you are human. You're gonna make the stakes. Bottom line,
Speaker 2: It's okay, pick yourself back up, let's try it again.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you schating, Anya, because, like I said, I
Speaker 1: have an eight and eleven year old who do all
Speaker 1: the sports, and I'm looking at them so like there's
Speaker 1: the mom side of my brain and there's also like
Speaker 1: the psychologist side of the brain. I'm looking at how
Speaker 1: other parents are reacting, and I'm like, these kids are
Speaker 1: very young, Like this feels very stressful some of the
Speaker 1: situations like oh, you're at the free throw line for
Speaker 1: the game winning shotter and I'm thinking, like they're so little,
Speaker 1: and so there's all this energy, and so I guess
Speaker 1: I'm wondering, like what does it look like to kind
Speaker 1: of raise an athlete and have like a competitive nature
Speaker 1: towards sports, but that you also have this side of
Speaker 1: like showing yourself grace and like trying not to become
Speaker 1: a perfectionist because you're not a robot, right, Like you're human.
Speaker 1: Like what kinds of things should we be looking for,
Speaker 1: maybe in a coach or even as parents, of like
Speaker 1: how to instill competition and like encourage that, but also
Speaker 1: like grace and really embracing your humanity.
Speaker 2: You know, doctor Jordan's a great question because I'm still
Speaker 2: learning that myself, even as a young coach, right and
Speaker 2: talking to these parents. Number One, I always try and
Speaker 2: cultivate in each of my classes a safe space. Again.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna sit here and say, oh, guys, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna hand out lollipops and sing, oh happy day to you. No,
Speaker 2: we're gonna come in here, we're gonna work, We're gonna
Speaker 2: leave here, we're gonna be selling better about the work
Speaker 2: that we put in today. But even when I see
Speaker 2: sometimes my kids say I may have a bad day,
Speaker 2: I'll start up. How was school? Guys? What do we
Speaker 2: do today? How are things like? It's just something as
Speaker 2: simple as making people feel seen and heard and not
Speaker 2: when you just walk into the gym, all right, get
Speaker 2: on the line five five down in backs, Hey guys,
Speaker 2: what's up? How are we doing today? Everybody good? That
Speaker 2: kind of puts people at ease, right, But also to
Speaker 2: think having a coach or a parent or a mentor whoever,
Speaker 2: to be able to see and acknowledge, like I have
Speaker 2: a kid, he loves loves coming into practice, loves it.
Speaker 2: But there was one particular day something was off about
Speaker 2: him and I gave him a moment. You know. I
Speaker 2: saw he was frustrated jump rope and I saw it
Speaker 2: all in his face, and so I pulled him to
Speaker 2: the side. I pulled him in the corner and he
Speaker 2: told me what was going on, and he started bawling,
Speaker 2: and I allowed him to cry. I allowed him to
Speaker 2: get it out, and then I taught him a breathing technique,
Speaker 2: and I said, now, if you still that you need
Speaker 2: to take a little second to get yourself together, you
Speaker 2: let coach know and I'll give you five minutes. Do
Speaker 2: you breathe in techniques, cry it out, and then come
Speaker 2: back and join us, because I want you to be
Speaker 2: able to finish. You are a warrior, so finish unless
Speaker 2: you have an injury. Let's finish today. Even if it's
Speaker 2: not your best day, It's okay. We still have tomorrow.
Speaker 2: I don't believe in coddly, I don't, but I do
Speaker 2: believe in making sure that every single athlete that walks
Speaker 2: into that gym or whatever feel seen and heard, even
Speaker 2: if it's just something as simple, Hey, how is your
Speaker 2: day all right? Let's get to work more.
Speaker 1: From our conversation after the break, So you already mentioned
Speaker 1: as anxiety as being like one of the most common
Speaker 1: challenges for student athletes. Do you feel like there were
Speaker 1: adequate resources for your time as a student athlete to
Speaker 1: really help you to address I know lots of teams
Speaker 1: now have like embedded sports psychologists, but that may not
Speaker 1: have been the case with your time on campus. So
Speaker 1: can you talk about the resources and the ones you
Speaker 1: think should exist to really help student athletes?
Speaker 2: Sure? Yeah, no, I unfortunately did not. I don't even
Speaker 2: think I knew what mental health was. But I didn't
Speaker 2: know what mental health was, and I don't think I
Speaker 2: really knew it until I went through it myself and
Speaker 2: went through my own challenges. But unfortunately, no, I mean
Speaker 2: even growing up in the black community already, when you
Speaker 2: bring up the words mental health, it's automatically we think, oh,
Speaker 2: if you're going to therapy, you're crazy, something's wrong with you.
Speaker 2: And it's like, No, I believe that every human even
Speaker 2: if maybe holistic therapy and talking to someone may not
Speaker 2: necessarily be your saying. There's art therapy, there's some music therapy,
Speaker 2: but there's something out there for everyone, And I feel
Speaker 2: that every human being, athlete or not, should have that
Speaker 2: outlet and resource and space to be able to let
Speaker 2: out whatever it is. Fortunately, and even still now, I
Speaker 2: mean I just went back to my alma mater, and
Speaker 2: I didn't hear a thing about at least a sports
Speaker 2: psychologist coming on board or some type of therapist or counselor.
Speaker 2: Of course we have on campus counselors, but I mean
Speaker 2: they're dealing with not only the athletes, but also the
Speaker 2: regular student body too. So I do believe that there
Speaker 2: should be some form of mental health evaluations when it
Speaker 2: comes to not student athletes, but coaches as well, because
Speaker 2: I can only imagine what it's like to be a
Speaker 2: coach on the collegiate or professional level. It has to
Speaker 2: be a very high stressful job, and so I empathize
Speaker 2: when I think about some of my past some previous
Speaker 2: coaches that I had in college, and I think about them,
Speaker 2: I'm like, they have mouse of feet, They had families
Speaker 2: to take care of, and if you have a rough season,
Speaker 2: then your job's on the line, bottom line. And so
Speaker 2: I do believe that everybody should have some form of access,
Speaker 2: whether if it is a sports pide, collegists or some
Speaker 2: type of team therapists on the team, because there is
Speaker 2: trauma that lies in sport, whether you want to say
Speaker 2: it or die. Yes, it's fun when you watch it.
Speaker 2: We're watching the end result of every athlete's long week
Speaker 2: they may have had in practice. You don't know if
Speaker 2: they're battering an injury. You don't know if a parent
Speaker 2: or a loved one is sick. We don't know. And
Speaker 2: so again, going back to every coach and player, I
Speaker 2: believe that there should be mental health evaluations and there
Speaker 2: should always be access and resources available to both athletes
Speaker 2: and coaches twenty four to seven period.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it does seem like a lot of it
Speaker 1: is kind of couching this idea of performance coaching, right, like,
Speaker 1: so oh, we'll bring in like this person to help
Speaker 1: you to kind of, you know, visualize yourself making the ball,
Speaker 1: getting it through the hoop.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: But it does feel like it needs to be more encompassing,
Speaker 1: and I do feel like I've seen some schools really
Speaker 1: approach that, though I'm sure it's not as well funded
Speaker 1: and you know, kind of will resources it probably needs
Speaker 1: to be.
Speaker 2: And funny enough, you say that just to follow up,
Speaker 2: and this is again my institution. I love Alavamsa University,
Speaker 2: but I did go to a historically black college and university.
Speaker 2: So when we talk about these smaller institutions versus your
Speaker 2: Power five schools, your South Carolinas, your NC States, your Texas,
Speaker 2: they have resources that we just don't have unfortunately. And
Speaker 2: so that's another thing where it's like, Okay, maybe these
Speaker 2: schools really do want that, right, but when we talk
Speaker 2: about budget and resources, it's just not available to us
Speaker 2: as it is with other institutions. And so that's the
Speaker 2: other setback in Pitfall is like, Okay, so how do
Speaker 2: we address this issue? How do we make sure that
Speaker 2: each of our athletes and we can't save all of them,
Speaker 2: but majority of our athletes that come through our institution,
Speaker 2: they leave here feeling not only successful for achieving a
Speaker 2: successful career as well as academic career, but act the individual,
Speaker 2: you know. So I do think that there should be
Speaker 2: more emphasis on it and figuring out how are historically
Speaker 2: back colleges and universities as well as smaller institutions, your
Speaker 2: D two's or your lower division ones or mid major
Speaker 2: division ones have the access of resources as well to
Speaker 2: being able to have that. We also deserve that.
Speaker 1: So you already talked about the importance you feel like
Speaker 1: of like having a plan b as an athlete, right,
Speaker 1: is that something you went into college understanding, like, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do the basketball thing, but I also plan
Speaker 1: to like get a degree and like use this degree
Speaker 1: outside of it. Talk to me about the balance between
Speaker 1: being a very active athlete but also having commitments for
Speaker 1: class and maybe even other extracurriculus.
Speaker 2: My mom has always been she's teen moms, she's super active,
Speaker 2: you know, and stuff like that. But my mom made
Speaker 2: sure that she put me around spaces that was going
Speaker 2: to inspire me, you know, not hinder me, but inspire me.
Speaker 2: So when she took me to these basketball games, it
Speaker 2: wasn't just about studying these athletes and what it takes
Speaker 2: to be on the collegiate level, but she also made
Speaker 2: sure that I was paying attention to everything that's happening
Speaker 2: to make a game day experience so special. And so
Speaker 2: when I was young, I believe this was maybe like
Speaker 2: my sophomore year of college or my freshman year of college.
Speaker 2: I was actually a ballgirl for the Atlanta Dream for years,
Speaker 2: and I remember on this one particular day for us
Speaker 2: because we were the ball kids. Technically we were under
Speaker 2: the basketball operations team, so we were there at the
Speaker 2: same time. The athletes a ride, right, So we're getting
Speaker 2: the water and the gatorade together, we're rebounding for them,
Speaker 2: We're tidying up the place, making sure everything's good. We're
Speaker 2: mopping up if somebody drop some sweat or some water.
Speaker 2: You know, we were always there. But also two in
Speaker 2: the midst of being a part of that experience, I
Speaker 2: was also able to see the broadcasters and the social
Speaker 2: medias and the ticket sales reps. So Bray was just
Speaker 2: going of like, Wow, I don't just have to be
Speaker 2: an athlete to be a part of this every day.
Speaker 2: I can also go and be a sports broadcaster, or
Speaker 2: a coach, or a strengthen conditioning coach, or a ticket
Speaker 2: sells rep or a CEO, a president of a team.
Speaker 2: I got a chance to see that at fifteen, sixteen
Speaker 2: years old, and so I'll never forget. There was one
Speaker 2: day I saw this beautiful, tall black woman and I
Speaker 2: saw her put on the broadcast headphones and I said,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I want to do what she's doing.
Speaker 2: And that woman was Leashiina Robinson, one of the most
Speaker 2: incredible sports anchors and basketball analysts in our generation right now,
Speaker 2: in our era, I should say, and I mean, I
Speaker 2: think representation goes a long way. And so I encourage
Speaker 2: all parents to not put your kids in a box,
Speaker 2: because if you put your kids in a box, or
Speaker 2: if you don't really mold them to think bigger than
Speaker 2: just ball, like this orange ball take you so far,
Speaker 2: whether if that is coaching or being a strip coach,
Speaker 2: or that's being a CEO a GM whatever, that looks
Speaker 2: like those things are possible. So I think representation is key.
Speaker 2: I think that exposing very early is key and encouraging
Speaker 2: your kid. Like I told my mom one day, I
Speaker 2: told her I wanted to be a veterinarian, I want
Speaker 2: to be a lawyer. Then I want to be a
Speaker 2: sports broadcaster, and all those things she encouraged one hundred
Speaker 2: and ten percent today and so now she's my biggest supporter,
Speaker 2: and I thank her for it because if it wasn't
Speaker 2: for that experience of her, you know, making me sign
Speaker 2: up to be a ball kid, I don't think I
Speaker 2: would even have had the idea of being a sports broadcaster.
Speaker 2: So again, just to answer your question, I think it
Speaker 2: really comes from within, and it's okay to have a
Speaker 2: plan be or plant. See, the ball is going to
Speaker 2: stop bouncing one day, even is I mean Lebron? When
Speaker 2: we look at Lebron, he's forty years old and we
Speaker 2: don't know how much longer Lebron has until he decides
Speaker 2: he wants to retire. So, even if you go on
Speaker 2: to have a successful career in the NBA, WNBA, MLS,
Speaker 2: MLB wherever, it's going to have to stop one day
Speaker 2: and you have to think about, Okay, what else do
Speaker 2: I like to do? You know, it could be something
Speaker 2: that has nothing to do with sports. So I think
Speaker 2: those are cheap and it's nothing wrong with the plan beer,
Speaker 2: plancing or planning.
Speaker 1: So was it ever your dream to do sports beyond college? Like,
Speaker 1: were you thinking pro athlete or had you always been
Speaker 1: planning to do something maybe sports related but not necessarily
Speaker 1: being a player.
Speaker 2: Well, if you were to tell me A's plan and
Speaker 2: not God's plan, the plan was to finish out my
Speaker 2: four years playing on the collegiate level, get a pro contract,
Speaker 2: to go play overseas for a couple of years, travel
Speaker 2: the world, retire, and then get into my sports broadcasting career. Well,
Speaker 2: it's not how things planned out. I knew maybe by
Speaker 2: my junior year of college, that I no longer wanted
Speaker 2: to play pro ball. I just I did it. I mean,
Speaker 2: it can be aware and tear on your mental and
Speaker 2: physical well being, and I couldn't imagine myself going another
Speaker 2: five six years of doing that. So I knew by
Speaker 2: my junior year. At the end of my junior year,
Speaker 2: I didn't want to play pro anymore. I just wanted
Speaker 2: to focus on my career. I did just that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and what was that transition like to kind
Speaker 1: of have that, you know, be in a lot of
Speaker 1: ways your identity, to be focusing on other areas of
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 2: It was tough. I'm not going to sit here and
Speaker 2: say it was rose pedals and daisies, because it wasn't.
Speaker 2: There were a lot of days I was unsure about myself.
Speaker 2: There were a lot of days that I would be
Speaker 2: asking God why. And I've always been told to never
Speaker 2: question God because his plan is bigger than all of ours.
Speaker 2: For me, I graduated nine months before the global pandemic,
Speaker 2: so imagine graduating college already. Postgrad is tough, okay, but
Speaker 2: now you're adding a global pandemic so the whole world
Speaker 2: is shut down. Is this what adulthood is like? You knows? Oh? God?
Speaker 2: So I had an interesting intro into adulthood. I went
Speaker 2: nineteen years of my life playing the sport that has
Speaker 2: got me through any and everything to having to wrap
Speaker 2: that up and now learned a global pandemic. So I
Speaker 2: at first was just I was all over the place.
Speaker 2: I was having anxiety attacks in my sleep. I've always
Speaker 2: been pretty skinny, but when I got to college, I
Speaker 2: gained a lot of muscle. I got to the point
Speaker 2: where I didn't even I didn't want to work out.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to see a gym. I didn't even
Speaker 2: want to see a basketball. It took a minute for
Speaker 2: me to actually fall back in love with watching the
Speaker 2: game as a former athlete, which is I've heard a
Speaker 2: lot of us talk about. And I remember there was
Speaker 2: one particular day just moved back home with my mom
Speaker 2: and she was downstairs. She had just got done cooking dinner,
Speaker 2: so she's got her back turned and she's washing dishes,
Speaker 2: and I started crying. I was just sitting at the
Speaker 2: table crying, and I couldn't tell her why it was
Speaker 2: so much. I think that was happening in my brain
Speaker 2: that finally my brain was like, you got to let
Speaker 2: this out. And I cried and I cried and I cried,
Speaker 2: and my mom, of course didn't know what to do,
Speaker 2: and I just told her, I need help. I need
Speaker 2: to talk to somebody. My mom was like, we can
Speaker 2: talk to me, and I'm just like, oh, oh, no, idea.
Speaker 2: Bless her heart, she means well. So I'm sure as
Speaker 2: any parent, they want to help their kids. They don't
Speaker 2: want their kids seeing her kid cry and saying they
Speaker 2: need help. And so from there, twenty twenty, I took
Speaker 2: it upon myself and he recommended me to his therapy
Speaker 2: and I have been in therapy ever since and it
Speaker 2: has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Speaker 2: And I don't believe I will ever stop.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so that is quite a transition, right, Like
Speaker 1: you are already transitioning out of identifying as an athlete,
Speaker 1: and then there's also a pandemic, right, and then everybody's
Speaker 1: trying to figure out when the world is happening. So
Speaker 1: I'm really glad that you had therapy as a support then.
Speaker 2: And I also just think of my community in my
Speaker 2: support system. My family is incredible, even some of my
Speaker 2: professors and old teammates. I think oftentimes it's athletes because
Speaker 2: of the stigma that has put on us that we
Speaker 2: have to be mentally tough, right. Sometimes we don't know
Speaker 2: how to turn it off when we leave the court
Speaker 2: or the field or the locker room, and so we
Speaker 2: feel as though if we go to our teammates, or
Speaker 2: if we go to a mentor or a parent or whoever,
Speaker 2: we're gonna think we're weak. And one thing that I'm
Speaker 2: learning now in therapy is that there is strength and vulnerability.
Speaker 2: And for the longest, I thought that I was weak
Speaker 2: if I showed a bit of vulnerability, and so now
Speaker 2: I'm embracing all parts of me. There are days I'm
Speaker 2: an impath. So if I see somebody crying, I don't
Speaker 2: know that I'm gonna cry too, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2: I have no problem with it. I love it. Crying
Speaker 2: is a former release. I took up boxing also a
Speaker 2: little after I started therapy. Don't ask me how I
Speaker 2: got into it. One day, I'm at a gym and
Speaker 2: my strength coach he's got a new gym and they
Speaker 2: got all an these fancy punching bags so I'm like, ooh,
Speaker 2: this it is. And I mean I picked up those
Speaker 2: gloves and I never put them down. So finding those
Speaker 2: outlets too, right, finding new hobbies, falling in love with
Speaker 2: this new version of yourself. It's just in your chapter.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean all the accomplishments, all the accolades, and
Speaker 2: all the incredible things you've done in your career goes
Speaker 2: out the window, because it doesn't. That's for life. You
Speaker 2: are an athlete for life. But embrace this new chapter
Speaker 2: that you're in. If you've wanted to play tennis your
Speaker 2: whole life but you never had the opportunity to do that,
Speaker 2: you can do that. If you want to go hike,
Speaker 2: if you want to get into knitting, if you want
Speaker 2: to get into sculpting or pilates, you can do it.
Speaker 2: If you want to take up a new language, you
Speaker 2: can do it. So I think we have to get
Speaker 2: out of putting ourselves in this box that because plan
Speaker 2: A was to be an athlete, and everybody expected me
Speaker 2: to be this outstanding and overachieving athlete. Now that that
Speaker 2: chapter of my life is ended, that does not mean
Speaker 2: that I am still not whole and I don't matter.
Speaker 1: So we always hear that there are so many valuable
Speaker 1: lessons that come from athletics, right, like the discipline and
Speaker 1: other things. What lessons and values do you feel like
Speaker 1: you've been able to translate to other parts of your
Speaker 1: career and just your life in general.
Speaker 2: My work's thick, Oh my goodness, if I'm not going
Speaker 2: to do anything else. And I'll be honest with you,
Speaker 2: I was not the athlete that filled up the status
Speaker 2: sheet from night to night. I was an athlete that
Speaker 2: did the little things on the court where I'm hustling
Speaker 2: after the balls, I'm making the huge defensive stops and
Speaker 2: plays like I was able to embrace that part of me,
Speaker 2: and no matter what I do, it could be something
Speaker 2: as simple as I don't know, wanting to get into
Speaker 2: marathon running. I know now in order for me to
Speaker 2: be good at what I want to do, I got
Speaker 2: to put in the work to do it. Nobody's going
Speaker 2: to do it for me. And so I've always been
Speaker 2: a hard worker. You could say whatever you want to
Speaker 2: say about me, you can't say that I'm not a
Speaker 2: hard worker. And so that discipline, that level of competitiveness, right.
Speaker 2: I think that there are some moments in your life
Speaker 2: where you got to tone that down because learning to
Speaker 2: use those qualities for good and not necessarily like you
Speaker 2: still have to turn your brain off of like, hey,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't have to be as aggressive anymore
Speaker 2: because I'm not on the court anymore, but I can
Speaker 2: be aggressive in ways where it's like, hey, my goal
Speaker 2: is to sign up five clients this week, So for
Speaker 2: the next Monday through Friday, I'm focused on getting those
Speaker 2: five clients and setting tangible goals for yourself. So I
Speaker 2: think for me, it was it's that work ethic, that discipline,
Speaker 2: and the mental toughness. I didn't quite understand when my
Speaker 2: coaches were telling us you gotta be mentally tough, you
Speaker 2: gotta be this, you gotta be that. But now being
Speaker 2: in the real world, especially the world of sports broadcasting,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, it's a cut through industry. And I
Speaker 2: think with the hardships that I had, the tough coaches
Speaker 2: that I had, are the setbacks that I had, and
Speaker 2: even the good moments that I had, I don't internalize
Speaker 2: stuff like I used to. So if I have a
Speaker 2: bad day on air, I mean I might hear from
Speaker 2: my director and producer I say, all right, thank you
Speaker 2: for the feedback the next game I'm locked in. So
Speaker 2: it's helped a lot.
Speaker 1: So you brought up some adia that I want to
Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about, like all these messages
Speaker 1: that you get as athletes, right to be aggressive and
Speaker 1: stay strong and be tough and all of that, but
Speaker 1: also as a black woman, we get messages that like
Speaker 1: be softer, like don't take up too much speed. And
Speaker 1: so I think it's an interesting kind of feel because
Speaker 1: especially I think in basketball, like predominantly those are black
Speaker 1: women on the teams, And so how do you balance
Speaker 1: like this idea that this is how you have to
Speaker 1: be one way on court? And then you know, like
Speaker 1: you mentioned like, okay.
Speaker 2: Is it do you turn it off?
Speaker 1: Like how do you kind of moderate kind of walking
Speaker 1: in both worlds?
Speaker 2: For my younger self, I did not. I don't even
Speaker 2: think subconsciously I even realized if I was taking that
Speaker 2: same mentality that I had on court into my personal life.
Speaker 2: And it took for me to go through therapy and
Speaker 2: have that unbiased person there to tell me like, well,
Speaker 2: why do you have this? Like it's almost like a
Speaker 2: fight or flight mold, so to speak, right where we
Speaker 2: don't even realize subconsciously that it's filling over into our
Speaker 2: person the lives. For me, I've always been a soft girl,
Speaker 2: but I can also to be very nonchalant, and that
Speaker 2: is because that came with well, I had to be
Speaker 2: this on the court, and ain't nobody else gonna give
Speaker 2: me nothing, so I can't here. And it's like, that's
Speaker 2: not a good way to think. That's not healthy, especially
Speaker 2: now even in my dating life, relationship life, that has
Speaker 2: taught me a lot of there are just things you
Speaker 2: should just be a human. You don't have to be
Speaker 2: in ready to go mode all the time like you
Speaker 2: can just be. And so that is something I'm still
Speaker 2: actively working through of knowing when to turn it on
Speaker 2: and turn it off. I'm in that season of a
Speaker 2: learning and it takes a minute. You know. I've been
Speaker 2: unlearning nineteen years of what's been drilled into my head
Speaker 2: and so here I am again six years out and
Speaker 2: I'm still learning every single day. So my best advice
Speaker 2: to all the athletes that are unlearning, whether if it
Speaker 2: stinks from their athletic career or even their childhood traumas,
Speaker 2: it's okay to be paid to it yourself. Be graceful
Speaker 2: with yourself as you are in your season of unlearning.
Speaker 1: And relearning more from our conversation after the break, something
Speaker 1: else you mentioned earlier in the conversation is it sounds
Speaker 1: like there's some unlearning around perfectionism, right and you know,
Speaker 1: like wanting to be as good as possible and like
Speaker 1: excellent on the court, but you know, again, the real
Speaker 1: world doesn't operate that also off the court.
Speaker 2: So what can you.
Speaker 1: Say about like unlearning perfectionism and really understanding that it's
Speaker 1: okay to kind of show up and do your biz
Speaker 1: without being perfect.
Speaker 2: Oh, I feel like you have had a conversation with
Speaker 2: my therapist before we got on this call. Literally, that
Speaker 2: is what we're working through right now. I have a
Speaker 2: serious issue of perfectionism. This whiteboard behind me that I
Speaker 2: can only see, I will write something three times and
Speaker 2: if it's not perfect, I will erase it. That's a problem.
Speaker 2: It's a problem. I didn't even realize how bad my
Speaker 2: perfectionism was until I had these real conversations with my
Speaker 2: therapist of like, okay, let's write this down. And so
Speaker 2: one thing that I wrote down is I'm a perfectionist
Speaker 2: and I like control. And when I say control, not
Speaker 2: a control freak, I'm not a control freak. It's in
Speaker 2: those seasons of how we always say you gotta trust God,
Speaker 2: right because He's in control. And I know that logically,
Speaker 2: but subconsciously, somehow my anxiety pops out. And if I
Speaker 2: don't feel like I'm in control of a certain situation
Speaker 2: or whatever's happening around me, then I feel defeated. And
Speaker 2: so I'm working through that now. I wish that I
Speaker 2: could give some advice that part, but that is something
Speaker 2: that I'm so learning. But I've noticed that in a
Speaker 2: lot of us, and if it wasn't, we were riding
Speaker 2: the bench and none of us really wanted that. But
Speaker 2: even to being an overachiever, I've always been an honor
Speaker 2: roll cum laude, all these things, you know, And so
Speaker 2: I think a bit of the perfectionism just comes from
Speaker 2: a bit of childhood trauma as well as my experience
Speaker 2: of being an athlete that I am actively and utterly
Speaker 2: working through every single day. Perfectionism is one of the
Speaker 2: things that you'll see in a lot of athletes, and
Speaker 2: that's just because we want to be the best of
Speaker 2: the best.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it feels like a very hardline to
Speaker 1: toe because you don't become great without continuing to practice
Speaker 1: and like continuing to work on your craft. And so
Speaker 1: it feels like you have to be very careful of
Speaker 1: not spilling over into like perfection is where that then
Speaker 1: bleeds into all the other areas of your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so you've.
Speaker 1: Already shared a little bit about this nea. But if
Speaker 1: there was something that you could go back and tell
Speaker 1: your eighteen year old self, what would it be?
Speaker 2: Just lie about girl five out and Joel enjoy the
Speaker 2: present moment? I think obviously too, you know, I mean
Speaker 2: social media has always been a thing since I mean
Speaker 2: I was growing up, but it wasn't as major as
Speaker 2: it is now. And so now when I see athletes
Speaker 2: that may follow me on social media, I mean their
Speaker 2: bios are down to six' four one eighty four point
Speaker 2: ZERO gpa, Student, like where's the? Personality where's the funny?
Speaker 2: Quotes where's the music? Lyrics where it's just being? You
Speaker 2: why does everything have to be? Documented where's just? You
Speaker 2: and SO i would tell my younger, Self, listen enjoy the,
Speaker 2: Ride embrace what you. Feel don't be ashamed of being
Speaker 2: cool you. Are don't be ashamed of having bad, days
Speaker 2: cause you're gonna have bad. DAYS i mean even when
Speaker 2: we get over into, adulthood sometimes you might walk into
Speaker 2: the office and be, like, look today is just not my.
Speaker 2: Day we can, pray, plan plan all. Day Usually monday
Speaker 2: mornings is like my quiet, time my time to just
Speaker 2: kind of, reflect especially coming off the, road my time
Speaker 2: to get myself. Together this, MORNING i did a little,
Speaker 2: yoga little, MEDITATION i read a chapter of my, book
Speaker 2: had my. Tea but then Next monday it could look completely.
Speaker 2: DIFFERENT i could be rushing out of the. Door that
Speaker 2: still does not mean THAT i failed the. Day it
Speaker 2: just simply means that this is. Life we can, plan, plan,
Speaker 2: plan all, day but sometimes things just don't work out
Speaker 2: the way we want. To and SO i WISH i
Speaker 2: could tell my younger self that everything is going to
Speaker 2: work out just. Fine just enjoy the moment and stop
Speaker 2: trying to think ahead and what's going to happen. Next
Speaker 2: just relax and.
Speaker 1: Enjoy very timely. Message thank you for, That. Nia so
Speaker 1: where can we stay connected with? You where can we
Speaker 1: find out more about purpose to be? Heard in any
Speaker 1: social media channels.
Speaker 2: You'd like to? Share you can follow all of my
Speaker 2: socials AT mir that is in as A nancy on,
Speaker 2: AIR nia on air that is On, Instagram, twitter. TikTok
Speaker 2: it's me on air with an, underscore but it's still
Speaker 2: me on air as you can find me For purpose
Speaker 2: to Be. Heard we're actually in a rebram. Period i'm super.
Speaker 2: Excited we've been working on some great content to bring to,
Speaker 2: athletes original content that we want to bring amongst other,
Speaker 2: things community building that we'll be working on towards the
Speaker 2: end of twenty twenty five and so. On but you
Speaker 2: can Follow purpose to Be heard At purpose to, TOO
Speaker 2: B B E, heard H a R. D then you
Speaker 2: can also check out our website www dot ptbh dot.
Speaker 2: Net feel free to reach out if you check out this.
Speaker 2: Episode AND i always just look forward to meeting all.
Speaker 2: ATHLETES i don't care if you played twenty something odd years.
Speaker 2: AGO i don't care if you just got done playing last,
Speaker 2: week or maybe you decided to leave your sport before you,
Speaker 2: graduated even current. ATHLETES i just love talking and connecting
Speaker 2: with other athletes and other humans BECAUSE i want to
Speaker 2: be that person that my younger self needed so. Bad.
Speaker 2: Athlete kudos to every single athlete right now that is
Speaker 2: doing their things and trying their best to help as
Speaker 2: many athletes as. Possible it definitely thanks the community to
Speaker 2: make things.
Speaker 1: Happen be sure to include all of that in the show.
Speaker 1: Notes thank you so much for sending some time with
Speaker 1: me To, DANIA i appreciate.
Speaker 2: It of. Course thanks for having, me Doctor. Joy what
Speaker 2: a great.
Speaker 1: Conversation i'm so Glad nia was able to join me
Speaker 1: for this, conversation And i'm really excited that she kept
Speaker 1: it real and reminded us that the game might, change
Speaker 1: but the goal stays the, same to keep showing, up,
Speaker 1: evolving and owning every single space we step, into whether
Speaker 1: you're leaving a, sport a, job or just letting go
Speaker 1: of who used to. Be, remember you get to pivot with.
Speaker 1: Purpose identity isn't tied to one, title and Like nia,
Speaker 1: said you can be the player and the play. Caller
Speaker 1: to learn more About nia and the work she's, doing
Speaker 1: be sure to visit the show notes At therapy For
Speaker 1: blackgirls dot, com slash tvgu and don't forget to text
Speaker 1: us episode to two of your girls right now and
Speaker 1: tell them to check it. Out did you know you
Speaker 1: could leave us a voicemail with your questions for the
Speaker 1: podcast if you have a, question or a movie or
Speaker 1: a book you want us to, review go ahead and
Speaker 1: drop us a. Voicemail you can do that At memo
Speaker 1: dot fm Slash therapy For Black girls and let us
Speaker 1: know what's on your. Mind we just might feature your
Speaker 1: question or suggestion on the. Podcast if you're looking for
Speaker 1: a therapist in your, area visit our therapist directory At
Speaker 1: therapy For blackgirls dot com slash. Directory this episode was
Speaker 1: produced By Elise, Ellis indechubu And Tyree. Rush editing was
Speaker 1: done By Dennison. Bradford thank y'all so much for joining
Speaker 1: me again for THIS tvgu. Episode look forward to continuing
Speaker 1: this conversation with you all real. Soon take good.
Speaker 2: Care