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Speaker 1: Hey y'all, we're back with another episode of TVG University.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Doctor joy Hard and Bradford, and today

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Speaker 1: we're joined by another very special guest. We'll get right

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Speaker 1: into our conversation afterword from our sponsors. Nia Simone is

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Speaker 1: a powerhouse who knows all about pivoting with purpose. A

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Speaker 1: former D one athlete turned rising star in sports broadcasting,

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Speaker 1: She's proved that your story doesn't end when the game

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Speaker 1: clock runs out, it evolves. In this episode, Nia opens

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Speaker 1: up about the identity shift that came with stepping away

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Speaker 1: from competitive sports, how she built a new lane in media,

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Speaker 1: and the importance of showing up as her full, authentic

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Speaker 1: self in an industry that hasn't always made space for

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Speaker 1: voices like hers. We're talking about self discovery, representation, and

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Speaker 1: redefining what it means to be a woman in sports.

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Speaker 1: So whether you're an athlete, a creative, or someone standing

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Speaker 1: at the edge of your next chapter, this one's for you.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into our conversation. If something resonates with you

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Speaker 1: while enjoying our conversation, please share with us on social

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Speaker 1: media using the hashtag TVG in Session. Well, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for joining us. Today, Neia, of course, thanks

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Speaker 1: for having me. Yeah, So for those who may not

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Speaker 1: be familiar, can you tell us a little bit about

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Speaker 1: your background and how you got to where you are

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Speaker 1: now in life?

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Speaker 2: Of course right? Antonia Small born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia.

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Speaker 2: Been playing basketball since the age of four all the

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Speaker 2: way into the age of twenty two, so very very

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Speaker 2: long time. My mom put me in various different sports

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Speaker 2: growing up, and I think basketball is what made sense

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Speaker 2: because I grew really fast. So former Division one basketball

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Speaker 2: player now sports broadcaster. False but of many things. I'm

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Speaker 2: also an entrepreneur, athlete advocate. I'm the owner of Purpose

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Speaker 2: to Be her productions and amongst other things that I'm

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Speaker 2: building out right now specifically for athletes. So excited to

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Speaker 2: be honest here more of myself.

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Speaker 1: I'm very excited to chat with you. So I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you know this, Nia, but I am like

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Speaker 1: a newly converted women's basketball staying like I'm in full

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Speaker 1: blown like much manness, get my bracket ready and all

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Speaker 1: the things.

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Speaker 2: So excited.

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Speaker 1: So I would love to hear from you, like as

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Speaker 1: somebody who has been in this field, right, Like, what

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Speaker 1: are your thoughts around like the birth and like the

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Speaker 1: energy and excitement that you feel like is surrounding women's

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Speaker 1: basketball right now.

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Speaker 2: About time, doctor Joy, About time. It is long long

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Speaker 2: over due. I mean women's basketball has always been this exciting.

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Speaker 2: And I'm not being biased because I'm a former women's

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Speaker 2: basketball player, but I mean it seriously is I can't

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Speaker 2: remember growing up before we even had a WNBA team

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Speaker 2: here in Atlanta. My mom would expose me very early

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Speaker 2: to seeing what my feature could look like. And so

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Speaker 2: I would go to the Georgia Tech women's basketball game.

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Speaker 2: So Georgia say women's basketball games, and so to just

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Speaker 2: know the amount of women whose stories still haven't been

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Speaker 2: told or may have some life, you know, fall under

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Speaker 2: the crevices because of just the lack of storytelling, the

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Speaker 2: lack of coverage when it comes to women's basketball. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's incredible. It's about time. And I'm so happy to

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Speaker 2: see just all these women from the w nbare women's

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Speaker 2: college basketball, I mean women's sports as a whole, to

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Speaker 2: finally see us get the recognition that we've always deserved

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Speaker 2: because we work just as hard, if not more than

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Speaker 2: our male counterparts. It's about time, doctor Tory.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm very excited, and I'm not like a big

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Speaker 1: sports person in general, So I have two little ones

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Speaker 1: who have kind of converted me to like just being

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Speaker 1: a spectator. But I have really fallen in love, I

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Speaker 1: think with women's basketball because of the storytelling, right, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying like getting to know more about the

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Speaker 1: women and their lives and their families. Like that's what

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Speaker 1: really draws me in. So I still don't.

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Speaker 2: Really even know all the rules and like what am

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Speaker 2: I even.

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Speaker 1: Paying attention to, But I'm very excited by what I

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Speaker 1: see off the court, right, and like just wanting to

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Speaker 1: follow these stories. So besides just good old kind of

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Speaker 1: patriarchy and there's a sprinkle of some racism and all

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Speaker 1: of that, are there other reasons do you think why

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Speaker 1: women's sports hasn't been covered at the same levels?

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Speaker 2: You know, of course you said racism, sexism, even homophobia.

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Speaker 2: You know, when it comes to the WNBA, I believe

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Speaker 2: about a quite half percentage are part of the LGBTQ

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Speaker 2: plus community. But also too, I think another part place

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Speaker 2: to it is just society. Society has always said that

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Speaker 2: women should let the man lead, which is I'm not

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Speaker 2: against that, right, but there's a certain standpoint where it's like, no,

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Speaker 2: we're not just gonna stay in the kitchen and raise

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Speaker 2: the kids and stay at home and not go out

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Speaker 2: and beat us. Go out and explore different parts of

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Speaker 2: us and celebrate different parts of us. So I think

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Speaker 2: when you factor in again all those things that I've named,

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Speaker 2: aside from just society putting this stigma that women have

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Speaker 2: to be feminine and they can't compete and they can't

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Speaker 2: work and if they're too loud and voisterous there they're

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Speaker 2: too much. I love how we now even society is

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Speaker 2: pushing back on the level of how women show up

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Speaker 2: in this world. We're saying, oh no, not here, not here. No,

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Speaker 2: I am talented, I'm smart, I'm beautiful, I'm athletic. I

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Speaker 2: bring a lot to the table and I'm gonna back

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Speaker 2: it up. And if I needed to see you on

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Speaker 2: the court, then that's fine too.

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Speaker 1: Some let's talk about some of your time on the court. So,

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Speaker 1: first of all, for people who may not be familiar

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Speaker 1: with some of this terminology, what does it mean to

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Speaker 1: be a D one athlete?

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Speaker 2: Like what is D one? And what are the other D.

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Speaker 1: Stings for division? So how many divisions are there? Like

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Speaker 1: what classifies what division you are.

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Speaker 2: So Division one or D one is the highest level

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Speaker 2: that you could play at on the collegiate level. So

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Speaker 2: there's Division one, there's Division two, there's Division three, and

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Speaker 2: then there's also NAIA and n CCAA and all these

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Speaker 2: different leagues, so there's a lot of different leagues. I

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Speaker 2: remember going through my recruitment process. I've always been playing

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Speaker 2: high level basketball. I started playing ball at four, started

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Speaker 2: playing travel ball NonStop at the age of eight. Then,

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Speaker 2: of course the goal once you get to high school,

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Speaker 2: it's no more, Hey, we're just playing for fun, We're

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Speaker 2: playing for a scholarship. Even what I see for this

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Speaker 2: generation now, and I can only imagine how much pressure

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Speaker 2: is putting on them now with NIL and the transfer portal,

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Speaker 2: I mean, so much has changed, and I'm only six

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Speaker 2: years removed getting caught up in the whole D one,

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Speaker 2: D two, D three thing. Once you get in it,

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Speaker 2: it's just like, Okay, But where am I gonna go?

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Speaker 2: Where number one my coach is gonna value me, Where

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna get my best education and have the best

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Speaker 2: four years of my life because it goes by quickly.

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Speaker 2: Where am I gonna go where I feel safe? I

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Speaker 2: feel heard. I feel seen, even if I don't have

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Speaker 2: a good day on the court or on the field,

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Speaker 2: whatever sport you play. I know that regardless of which

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Speaker 2: I chose this institution because I felt like this was

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Speaker 2: the best that suited me, and so like many of us,

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Speaker 2: we kind of just have to go and find out

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Speaker 2: for ourselves. If I could tell my younger self, one

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Speaker 2: thing is don't get caught up then the whole D one,

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Speaker 2: D two, D three thing, because you can still go

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Speaker 2: on and have a successful career post whether it's post college,

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Speaker 2: and you want to go and play on the professional level,

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Speaker 2: that's possible to do at a D two D three

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Speaker 2: Naia level, go on to have a good education. You

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Speaker 2: don't want to just go to a school where you're

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Speaker 2: eligible to play, but then you're not even working on

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Speaker 2: the degree that you really want to do. So if

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Speaker 2: I desire to be a doctor and I want to

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Speaker 2: go the pre ment track, and for whatever reason, either

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Speaker 2: a the institution that I decided to sign to didn't

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Speaker 2: necessarily have the pre mint routes, now I have to

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Speaker 2: settle for biology or anything of that sort. Why go

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Speaker 2: through all the stressors of kind of setting back your

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Speaker 2: dreams and goals only to be eligible, because at the

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Speaker 2: end of the day, it is a business. And I'm

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Speaker 2: not saying that every culture, every institution does not have

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Speaker 2: the best interest in their athletes, but at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, it's a business and they're trying to

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Speaker 2: make their money. So if you can play, you're healthy,

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Speaker 2: and you're you're a good student on and off the court,

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Speaker 2: that's all they really care about.

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Speaker 1: So encouraging people to kind of look at the bigger picture,

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Speaker 1: right like, this ball is not the only thing.

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Speaker 2: It is not the only thing. Please think ahead. And

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Speaker 2: I always when I talk to athletes now it's like

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Speaker 2: it's okay to have a Plan B or Plan C.

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Speaker 2: That doesn't mean you are unsuccessful of achieving Plan A.

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Speaker 2: But we have the factor in so much when it

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Speaker 2: comes to being an athlete, things are out of our

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Speaker 2: control when it comes to career ending, season ending injuries.

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Speaker 2: Maybe for whatever reason, it didn't work out at the

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Speaker 2: institution that you were at, so now you have to

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Speaker 2: find another institution to go to. I mean, it's just

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Speaker 2: so much that factors in that it's okay to think about.

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Speaker 2: It's not a bad thing to think about because you

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Speaker 2: don't want to walk across that stage in May or

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Speaker 2: December whenever you graduate, and then you're like, oh wait,

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Speaker 2: this is up to me now, Like what am I

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Speaker 2: supposed to do? I got this degree in communications, but

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Speaker 2: I don't want to do anything in communications. I only

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Speaker 2: got it to be eligible to play. That's hindering yourself

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Speaker 2: because you literally spent four years of your life giving blood, sweat, tears,

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Speaker 2: waking up at six am, practicing two three times out

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Speaker 2: of the day to only go to a class that

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Speaker 2: you don't really care about. You're only in it to

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Speaker 2: be eligible. Then it's like you did all that work

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Speaker 2: for nothing. Yeah, so what would you say, Neil?

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Speaker 1: Are some of the most kind of common mental health

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Speaker 1: challenges if you remember, like your time as a student athleader,

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Speaker 1: even just talking and working with other student athletes. What

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Speaker 1: are some of the mental health challenges you see as

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Speaker 1: that route anxiety?

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Speaker 2: Anxiety? I think as humans and I've learned to embrace it.

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Speaker 2: Like I tell people all the time, I have high

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Speaker 2: function and anxiety. I've been diagnosed for it. I take

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Speaker 2: daily medication for it, I meditate, I go to therapy

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Speaker 2: simply because when we factor in the traumas that we

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Speaker 2: felt as athletes, and you could have had a great

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Speaker 2: experience things that that's sort. But when I say traumas,

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Speaker 2: I don't mean just going to an institution and things

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Speaker 2: didn't work out or having a traumatizing the experience. It

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Speaker 2: could be something as simple as I had this knee

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Speaker 2: injury and I am so afraid to put any weight

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Speaker 2: bearing energy on it because if I do, I might

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Speaker 2: hurt it again, or having those splashbacks from an injury

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Speaker 2: that all stems. It's trauma, right, So if you don't

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Speaker 2: necessarily go and see anybody about it, it builds and

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Speaker 2: it builds and it builds. As athletes, we are over achievers.

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Speaker 2: We are okay when we want to work in our craft.

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Speaker 2: If we really love the game, we're in the gym.

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Speaker 2: We're gym rats. Or like I said, if you played

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Speaker 2: any field sports, you're out in the field. You're getting

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Speaker 2: those extra hits in or extra catches in, some extra

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Speaker 2: ball hitting for tennis players, whatever that looks like. We

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Speaker 2: are always perfecting ourselves. We are perfectionists. If we don't

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Speaker 2: perform well on the court, well guess what, already automatically

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Speaker 2: we're considered failures. Right, It's more of the self taught

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Speaker 2: because everybody else around you, from your coaches, your teammates,

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Speaker 2: your professors, your parents, siblings, and whoever else is counting

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Speaker 2: on you. They're constantly putting in their ear like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you've got to pick this up. You know, they're encouraging you,

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Speaker 2: and you're thinking about all the people that you have

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Speaker 2: behind you that are believing in you. And so I

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Speaker 2: think as athletes, what we have to unlearn is that

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Speaker 2: we are human. We heat are human beings, and just

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Speaker 2: like you have a bad day at the office, you

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Speaker 2: can have a bad day at the office on the court.

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Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with that. It's about how you respond

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Speaker 2: to it. But for us, and this is what I've

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Speaker 2: observed through even some of the youth athletes that I

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Speaker 2: train now as a boxing coach, I'm constantly telling them like, hey,

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Speaker 2: like my kids every time I have them go in

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Speaker 2: and do a three minute round of jump ropes, and

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Speaker 2: some of my kids, I can see when they're frustrated

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Speaker 2: because they can't get over the rope, they can't find

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Speaker 2: their rhythm, and then they're looking at all the other

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Speaker 2: students who actually have mastered jump roping. But that's because

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Speaker 2: they've been in class. So longer than they have. Where

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Speaker 2: I am now as a coach doing the things that

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Speaker 2: I wish somebody was telling me, Hey, it's okay, you

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Speaker 2: made a mistake. Let's put the jump rope to the

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Speaker 2: side and let's just do air jump ropes. Then I

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Speaker 2: want you to pick back up the jump rope and

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Speaker 2: try it again, but take your time and find your rhythm.

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Speaker 2: And so I think the same goals for any athlete,

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Speaker 2: whether you're a professional athlete, you're a collegiate athlete, you're

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Speaker 2: a retired athlete, showing grace to yourself and acknowledging what

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Speaker 2: it is that you feel. And so I think a

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Speaker 2: bit of anxiety shows up because we've always been in

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Speaker 2: a spotlight. We've always kind of had some sort of privilege, right,

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Speaker 2: so when all of that stops, some of us we

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Speaker 2: still in our own way have some type of doubts

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Speaker 2: with anxiety or depression and other bits of us we

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Speaker 2: kind of don't ever get out of it. I just

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Speaker 2: wish that there were, at least during my generation. I

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Speaker 2: can think about the generation before me where I'm not

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Speaker 2: necessarily coddling you. I'm still showing you tough love, but

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Speaker 2: I'm also encouraging you and uplifting you and reminding you

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Speaker 2: you are human. You're gonna make the stakes. Bottom line,

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Speaker 2: It's okay, pick yourself back up, let's try it again.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate you schating, Anya, because, like I said, I

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Speaker 1: have an eight and eleven year old who do all

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Speaker 1: the sports, and I'm looking at them so like there's

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Speaker 1: the mom side of my brain and there's also like

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Speaker 1: the psychologist side of the brain. I'm looking at how

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Speaker 1: other parents are reacting, and I'm like, these kids are

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Speaker 1: very young, Like this feels very stressful some of the

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Speaker 1: situations like oh, you're at the free throw line for

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Speaker 1: the game winning shotter and I'm thinking, like they're so little,

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Speaker 1: and so there's all this energy, and so I guess

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Speaker 1: I'm wondering, like what does it look like to kind

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Speaker 1: of raise an athlete and have like a competitive nature

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Speaker 1: towards sports, but that you also have this side of

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Speaker 1: like showing yourself grace and like trying not to become

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Speaker 1: a perfectionist because you're not a robot, right, Like you're human.

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Speaker 1: Like what kinds of things should we be looking for,

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Speaker 1: maybe in a coach or even as parents, of like

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Speaker 1: how to instill competition and like encourage that, but also

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Speaker 1: like grace and really embracing your humanity.

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Speaker 2: You know, doctor Jordan's a great question because I'm still

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Speaker 2: learning that myself, even as a young coach, right and

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Speaker 2: talking to these parents. Number One, I always try and

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Speaker 2: cultivate in each of my classes a safe space. Again.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna sit here and say, oh, guys, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna hand out lollipops and sing, oh happy day to you. No,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna come in here, we're gonna work, We're gonna

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Speaker 2: leave here, we're gonna be selling better about the work

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Speaker 2: that we put in today. But even when I see

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Speaker 2: sometimes my kids say I may have a bad day,

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Speaker 2: I'll start up. How was school? Guys? What do we

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Speaker 2: do today? How are things like? It's just something as

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Speaker 2: simple as making people feel seen and heard and not

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Speaker 2: when you just walk into the gym, all right, get

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Speaker 2: on the line five five down in backs, Hey guys,

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Speaker 2: what's up? How are we doing today? Everybody good? That

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Speaker 2: kind of puts people at ease, right, But also to

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Speaker 2: think having a coach or a parent or a mentor whoever,

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Speaker 2: to be able to see and acknowledge, like I have

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Speaker 2: a kid, he loves loves coming into practice, loves it.

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Speaker 2: But there was one particular day something was off about

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Speaker 2: him and I gave him a moment. You know. I

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Speaker 2: saw he was frustrated jump rope and I saw it

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Speaker 2: all in his face, and so I pulled him to

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Speaker 2: the side. I pulled him in the corner and he

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Speaker 2: told me what was going on, and he started bawling,

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Speaker 2: and I allowed him to cry. I allowed him to

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Speaker 2: get it out, and then I taught him a breathing technique,

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Speaker 2: and I said, now, if you still that you need

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Speaker 2: to take a little second to get yourself together, you

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Speaker 2: let coach know and I'll give you five minutes. Do

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Speaker 2: you breathe in techniques, cry it out, and then come

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Speaker 2: back and join us, because I want you to be

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Speaker 2: able to finish. You are a warrior, so finish unless

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Speaker 2: you have an injury. Let's finish today. Even if it's

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Speaker 2: not your best day, It's okay. We still have tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: I don't believe in coddly, I don't, but I do

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Speaker 2: believe in making sure that every single athlete that walks

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Speaker 2: into that gym or whatever feel seen and heard, even

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Speaker 2: if it's just something as simple, Hey, how is your

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Speaker 2: day all right? Let's get to work more.

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Speaker 1: From our conversation after the break, So you already mentioned

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Speaker 1: as anxiety as being like one of the most common

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Speaker 1: challenges for student athletes. Do you feel like there were

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Speaker 1: adequate resources for your time as a student athlete to

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Speaker 1: really help you to address I know lots of teams

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Speaker 1: now have like embedded sports psychologists, but that may not

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Speaker 1: have been the case with your time on campus. So

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Speaker 1: can you talk about the resources and the ones you

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Speaker 1: think should exist to really help student athletes?

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Speaker 2: Sure? Yeah, no, I unfortunately did not. I don't even

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Speaker 2: think I knew what mental health was. But I didn't

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Speaker 2: know what mental health was, and I don't think I

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Speaker 2: really knew it until I went through it myself and

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Speaker 2: went through my own challenges. But unfortunately, no, I mean

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Speaker 2: even growing up in the black community already, when you

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Speaker 2: bring up the words mental health, it's automatically we think, oh,

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Speaker 2: if you're going to therapy, you're crazy, something's wrong with you.

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Speaker 2: And it's like, No, I believe that every human even

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Speaker 2: if maybe holistic therapy and talking to someone may not

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Speaker 2: necessarily be your saying. There's art therapy, there's some music therapy,

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Speaker 2: but there's something out there for everyone, And I feel

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Speaker 2: that every human being, athlete or not, should have that

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Speaker 2: outlet and resource and space to be able to let

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Speaker 2: out whatever it is. Fortunately, and even still now, I

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Speaker 2: mean I just went back to my alma mater, and

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Speaker 2: I didn't hear a thing about at least a sports

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Speaker 2: psychologist coming on board or some type of therapist or counselor.

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Speaker 2: Of course we have on campus counselors, but I mean

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Speaker 2: they're dealing with not only the athletes, but also the

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Speaker 2: regular student body too. So I do believe that there

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Speaker 2: should be some form of mental health evaluations when it

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Speaker 2: comes to not student athletes, but coaches as well, because

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Speaker 2: I can only imagine what it's like to be a

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Speaker 2: coach on the collegiate or professional level. It has to

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Speaker 2: be a very high stressful job, and so I empathize

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Speaker 2: when I think about some of my past some previous

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Speaker 2: coaches that I had in college, and I think about them,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, they have mouse of feet, They had families

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Speaker 2: to take care of, and if you have a rough season,

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Speaker 2: then your job's on the line, bottom line. And so

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Speaker 2: I do believe that everybody should have some form of access,

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Speaker 2: whether if it is a sports pide, collegists or some

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Speaker 2: type of team therapists on the team, because there is

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Speaker 2: trauma that lies in sport, whether you want to say

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Speaker 2: it or die. Yes, it's fun when you watch it.

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Speaker 2: We're watching the end result of every athlete's long week

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Speaker 2: they may have had in practice. You don't know if

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Speaker 2: they're battering an injury. You don't know if a parent

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Speaker 2: or a loved one is sick. We don't know. And

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Speaker 2: so again, going back to every coach and player, I

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Speaker 2: believe that there should be mental health evaluations and there

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Speaker 2: should always be access and resources available to both athletes

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Speaker 2: and coaches twenty four to seven period.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it does seem like a lot of it

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Speaker 1: is kind of couching this idea of performance coaching, right, like,

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Speaker 1: so oh, we'll bring in like this person to help

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Speaker 1: you to kind of, you know, visualize yourself making the ball,

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Speaker 1: getting it through the hoop.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: But it does feel like it needs to be more encompassing,

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Speaker 1: and I do feel like I've seen some schools really

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Speaker 1: approach that, though I'm sure it's not as well funded

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Speaker 1: and you know, kind of will resources it probably needs

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Speaker 1: to be.

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Speaker 2: And funny enough, you say that just to follow up,

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Speaker 2: and this is again my institution. I love Alavamsa University,

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Speaker 2: but I did go to a historically black college and university.

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Speaker 2: So when we talk about these smaller institutions versus your

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Speaker 2: Power five schools, your South Carolinas, your NC States, your Texas,

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Speaker 2: they have resources that we just don't have unfortunately. And

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Speaker 2: so that's another thing where it's like, Okay, maybe these

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Speaker 2: schools really do want that, right, but when we talk

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Speaker 2: about budget and resources, it's just not available to us

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Speaker 2: as it is with other institutions. And so that's the

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Speaker 2: other setback in Pitfall is like, Okay, so how do

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Speaker 2: we address this issue? How do we make sure that

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Speaker 2: each of our athletes and we can't save all of them,

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Speaker 2: but majority of our athletes that come through our institution,

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Speaker 2: they leave here feeling not only successful for achieving a

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Speaker 2: successful career as well as academic career, but act the individual,

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Speaker 2: you know. So I do think that there should be

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Speaker 2: more emphasis on it and figuring out how are historically

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Speaker 2: back colleges and universities as well as smaller institutions, your

404
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Speaker 2: D two's or your lower division ones or mid major

405
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Speaker 2: division ones have the access of resources as well to

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Speaker 2: being able to have that. We also deserve that.

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Speaker 1: So you already talked about the importance you feel like

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Speaker 1: of like having a plan b as an athlete, right,

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Speaker 1: is that something you went into college understanding, like, yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do the basketball thing, but I also plan

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Speaker 1: to like get a degree and like use this degree

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Speaker 1: outside of it. Talk to me about the balance between

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Speaker 1: being a very active athlete but also having commitments for

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Speaker 1: class and maybe even other extracurriculus.

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Speaker 2: My mom has always been she's teen moms, she's super active,

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Speaker 2: you know, and stuff like that. But my mom made

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Speaker 2: sure that she put me around spaces that was going

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Speaker 2: to inspire me, you know, not hinder me, but inspire me.

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Speaker 2: So when she took me to these basketball games, it

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Speaker 2: wasn't just about studying these athletes and what it takes

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Speaker 2: to be on the collegiate level, but she also made

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Speaker 2: sure that I was paying attention to everything that's happening

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Speaker 2: to make a game day experience so special. And so

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Speaker 2: when I was young, I believe this was maybe like

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Speaker 2: my sophomore year of college or my freshman year of college.

426
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Speaker 2: I was actually a ballgirl for the Atlanta Dream for years,

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Speaker 2: and I remember on this one particular day for us

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Speaker 2: because we were the ball kids. Technically we were under

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Speaker 2: the basketball operations team, so we were there at the

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Speaker 2: same time. The athletes a ride, right, So we're getting

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Speaker 2: the water and the gatorade together, we're rebounding for them,

432
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 2: We're tidying up the place, making sure everything's good. We're

433
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 2: mopping up if somebody drop some sweat or some water.

434
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 2: You know, we were always there. But also two in

435
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,479
Speaker 2: the midst of being a part of that experience, I

436
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:57,120
Speaker 2: was also able to see the broadcasters and the social

437
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 2: medias and the ticket sales reps. So Bray was just

438
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 2: going of like, Wow, I don't just have to be

439
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,120
Speaker 2: an athlete to be a part of this every day.

440
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 2: I can also go and be a sports broadcaster, or

441
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 2: a coach, or a strengthen conditioning coach, or a ticket

442
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 2: sells rep or a CEO, a president of a team.

443
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 2: I got a chance to see that at fifteen, sixteen

444
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,439
Speaker 2: years old, and so I'll never forget. There was one

445
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 2: day I saw this beautiful, tall black woman and I

446
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 2: saw her put on the broadcast headphones and I said,

447
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,359
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I want to do what she's doing.

448
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 2: And that woman was Leashiina Robinson, one of the most

449
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 2: incredible sports anchors and basketball analysts in our generation right now,

450
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 2: in our era, I should say, and I mean, I

451
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,360
Speaker 2: think representation goes a long way. And so I encourage

452
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 2: all parents to not put your kids in a box,

453
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 2: because if you put your kids in a box, or

454
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 2: if you don't really mold them to think bigger than

455
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 2: just ball, like this orange ball take you so far,

456
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 2: whether if that is coaching or being a strip coach,

457
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 2: or that's being a CEO a GM whatever, that looks

458
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 2: like those things are possible. So I think representation is key.

459
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 2: I think that exposing very early is key and encouraging

460
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 2: your kid. Like I told my mom one day, I

461
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 2: told her I wanted to be a veterinarian, I want

462
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 2: to be a lawyer. Then I want to be a

463
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 2: sports broadcaster, and all those things she encouraged one hundred

464
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 2: and ten percent today and so now she's my biggest supporter,

465
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 2: and I thank her for it because if it wasn't

466
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 2: for that experience of her, you know, making me sign

467
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 2: up to be a ball kid, I don't think I

468
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 2: would even have had the idea of being a sports broadcaster.

469
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 2: So again, just to answer your question, I think it

470
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 2: really comes from within, and it's okay to have a

471
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 2: plan be or plant. See, the ball is going to

472
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 2: stop bouncing one day, even is I mean Lebron? When

473
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 2: we look at Lebron, he's forty years old and we

474
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: don't know how much longer Lebron has until he decides

475
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 2: he wants to retire. So, even if you go on

476
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 2: to have a successful career in the NBA, WNBA, MLS,

477
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 2: MLB wherever, it's going to have to stop one day

478
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 2: and you have to think about, Okay, what else do

479
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 2: I like to do? You know, it could be something

480
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 2: that has nothing to do with sports. So I think

481
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,160
Speaker 2: those are cheap and it's nothing wrong with the plan beer,

482
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 2: plancing or planning.

483
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 1: So was it ever your dream to do sports beyond college? Like,

484
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,239
Speaker 1: were you thinking pro athlete or had you always been

485
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: planning to do something maybe sports related but not necessarily

486
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 1: being a player.

487
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 2: Well, if you were to tell me A's plan and

488
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 2: not God's plan, the plan was to finish out my

489
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 2: four years playing on the collegiate level, get a pro contract,

490
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 2: to go play overseas for a couple of years, travel

491
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 2: the world, retire, and then get into my sports broadcasting career. Well,

492
00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 2: it's not how things planned out. I knew maybe by

493
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,679
Speaker 2: my junior year of college, that I no longer wanted

494
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 2: to play pro ball. I just I did it. I mean,

495
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 2: it can be aware and tear on your mental and

496
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 2: physical well being, and I couldn't imagine myself going another

497
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 2: five six years of doing that. So I knew by

498
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 2: my junior year. At the end of my junior year,

499
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 2: I didn't want to play pro anymore. I just wanted

500
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 2: to focus on my career. I did just that.

501
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, and what was that transition like to kind

502
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: of have that, you know, be in a lot of

503
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 1: ways your identity, to be focusing on other areas of

504
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: your life.

505
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,719
Speaker 2: It was tough. I'm not going to sit here and

506
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 2: say it was rose pedals and daisies, because it wasn't.

507
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 2: There were a lot of days I was unsure about myself.

508
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 2: There were a lot of days that I would be

509
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: asking God why. And I've always been told to never

510
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:59,119
Speaker 2: question God because his plan is bigger than all of ours.

511
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 2: For me, I graduated nine months before the global pandemic,

512
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 2: so imagine graduating college already. Postgrad is tough, okay, but

513
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 2: now you're adding a global pandemic so the whole world

514
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 2: is shut down. Is this what adulthood is like? You knows? Oh? God?

515
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: So I had an interesting intro into adulthood. I went

516
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 2: nineteen years of my life playing the sport that has

517
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 2: got me through any and everything to having to wrap

518
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 2: that up and now learned a global pandemic. So I

519
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 2: at first was just I was all over the place.

520
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: I was having anxiety attacks in my sleep. I've always

521
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 2: been pretty skinny, but when I got to college, I

522
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 2: gained a lot of muscle. I got to the point

523
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 2: where I didn't even I didn't want to work out.

524
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 2: I didn't want to see a gym. I didn't even

525
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,159
Speaker 2: want to see a basketball. It took a minute for

526
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,679
Speaker 2: me to actually fall back in love with watching the

527
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 2: game as a former athlete, which is I've heard a

528
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 2: lot of us talk about. And I remember there was

529
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 2: one particular day just moved back home with my mom

530
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 2: and she was downstairs. She had just got done cooking dinner,

531
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 2: so she's got her back turned and she's washing dishes,

532
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 2: and I started crying. I was just sitting at the

533
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 2: table crying, and I couldn't tell her why it was

534
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 2: so much. I think that was happening in my brain

535
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: that finally my brain was like, you got to let

536
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 2: this out. And I cried and I cried and I cried,

537
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 2: and my mom, of course didn't know what to do,

538
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 2: and I just told her, I need help. I need

539
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 2: to talk to somebody. My mom was like, we can

540
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: talk to me, and I'm just like, oh, oh, no, idea.

541
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,719
Speaker 2: Bless her heart, she means well. So I'm sure as

542
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 2: any parent, they want to help their kids. They don't

543
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 2: want their kids seeing her kid cry and saying they

544
00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 2: need help. And so from there, twenty twenty, I took

545
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 2: it upon myself and he recommended me to his therapy

546
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 2: and I have been in therapy ever since and it

547
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 2: has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.

548
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 2: And I don't believe I will ever stop.

549
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 1: So yeah, so that is quite a transition, right, Like

550
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: you are already transitioning out of identifying as an athlete,

551
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 1: and then there's also a pandemic, right, and then everybody's

552
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: trying to figure out when the world is happening. So

553
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: I'm really glad that you had therapy as a support then.

554
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 2: And I also just think of my community in my

555
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 2: support system. My family is incredible, even some of my

556
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 2: professors and old teammates. I think oftentimes it's athletes because

557
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 2: of the stigma that has put on us that we

558
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 2: have to be mentally tough, right. Sometimes we don't know

559
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 2: how to turn it off when we leave the court

560
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 2: or the field or the locker room, and so we

561
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 2: feel as though if we go to our teammates, or

562
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 2: if we go to a mentor or a parent or whoever,

563
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 2: we're gonna think we're weak. And one thing that I'm

564
00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 2: learning now in therapy is that there is strength and vulnerability.

565
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 2: And for the longest, I thought that I was weak

566
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 2: if I showed a bit of vulnerability, and so now

567
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 2: I'm embracing all parts of me. There are days I'm

568
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 2: an impath. So if I see somebody crying, I don't

569
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 2: know that I'm gonna cry too, and I'm okay with that.

570
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 2: I have no problem with it. I love it. Crying

571
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 2: is a former release. I took up boxing also a

572
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 2: little after I started therapy. Don't ask me how I

573
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 2: got into it. One day, I'm at a gym and

574
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 2: my strength coach he's got a new gym and they

575
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 2: got all an these fancy punching bags so I'm like, ooh,

576
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 2: this it is. And I mean I picked up those

577
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 2: gloves and I never put them down. So finding those

578
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 2: outlets too, right, finding new hobbies, falling in love with

579
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 2: this new version of yourself. It's just in your chapter.

580
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean all the accomplishments, all the accolades, and

581
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 2: all the incredible things you've done in your career goes

582
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 2: out the window, because it doesn't. That's for life. You

583
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 2: are an athlete for life. But embrace this new chapter

584
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 2: that you're in. If you've wanted to play tennis your

585
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 2: whole life but you never had the opportunity to do that,

586
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 2: you can do that. If you want to go hike,

587
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: if you want to get into knitting, if you want

588
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: to get into sculpting or pilates, you can do it.

589
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 2: If you want to take up a new language, you

590
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 2: can do it. So I think we have to get

591
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 2: out of putting ourselves in this box that because plan

592
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 2: A was to be an athlete, and everybody expected me

593
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 2: to be this outstanding and overachieving athlete. Now that that

594
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 2: chapter of my life is ended, that does not mean

595
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 2: that I am still not whole and I don't matter.

596
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: So we always hear that there are so many valuable

597
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 1: lessons that come from athletics, right, like the discipline and

598
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: other things. What lessons and values do you feel like

599
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: you've been able to translate to other parts of your

600
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: career and just your life in general.

601
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 2: My work's thick, Oh my goodness, if I'm not going

602
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 2: to do anything else. And I'll be honest with you,

603
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: I was not the athlete that filled up the status

604
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 2: sheet from night to night. I was an athlete that

605
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 2: did the little things on the court where I'm hustling

606
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 2: after the balls, I'm making the huge defensive stops and

607
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 2: plays like I was able to embrace that part of me,

608
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 2: and no matter what I do, it could be something

609
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 2: as simple as I don't know, wanting to get into

610
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 2: marathon running. I know now in order for me to

611
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 2: be good at what I want to do, I got

612
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 2: to put in the work to do it. Nobody's going

613
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 2: to do it for me. And so I've always been

614
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 2: a hard worker. You could say whatever you want to

615
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 2: say about me, you can't say that I'm not a

616
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 2: hard worker. And so that discipline, that level of competitiveness, right.

617
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 2: I think that there are some moments in your life

618
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 2: where you got to tone that down because learning to

619
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 2: use those qualities for good and not necessarily like you

620
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 2: still have to turn your brain off of like, hey,

621
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: you know, I don't have to be as aggressive anymore

622
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 2: because I'm not on the court anymore, but I can

623
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: be aggressive in ways where it's like, hey, my goal

624
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 2: is to sign up five clients this week, So for

625
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 2: the next Monday through Friday, I'm focused on getting those

626
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 2: five clients and setting tangible goals for yourself. So I

627
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 2: think for me, it was it's that work ethic, that discipline,

628
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: and the mental toughness. I didn't quite understand when my

629
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 2: coaches were telling us you gotta be mentally tough, you

630
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: gotta be this, you gotta be that. But now being

631
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 2: in the real world, especially the world of sports broadcasting,

632
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, it's a cut through industry. And I

633
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 2: think with the hardships that I had, the tough coaches

634
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 2: that I had, are the setbacks that I had, and

635
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 2: even the good moments that I had, I don't internalize

636
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: stuff like I used to. So if I have a

637
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 2: bad day on air, I mean I might hear from

638
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: my director and producer I say, all right, thank you

639
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 2: for the feedback the next game I'm locked in. So

640
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 2: it's helped a lot.

641
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: So you brought up some adia that I want to

642
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about, like all these messages

643
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,479
Speaker 1: that you get as athletes, right to be aggressive and

644
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: stay strong and be tough and all of that, but

645
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: also as a black woman, we get messages that like

646
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: be softer, like don't take up too much speed. And

647
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 1: so I think it's an interesting kind of feel because

648
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 1: especially I think in basketball, like predominantly those are black

649
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: women on the teams, And so how do you balance

650
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 1: like this idea that this is how you have to

651
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 1: be one way on court? And then you know, like

652
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 1: you mentioned like, okay.

653
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,240
Speaker 2: Is it do you turn it off?

654
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 1: Like how do you kind of moderate kind of walking

655
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 1: in both worlds?

656
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 2: For my younger self, I did not. I don't even

657
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 2: think subconsciously I even realized if I was taking that

658
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 2: same mentality that I had on court into my personal life.

659
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 2: And it took for me to go through therapy and

660
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 2: have that unbiased person there to tell me like, well,

661
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 2: why do you have this? Like it's almost like a

662
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 2: fight or flight mold, so to speak, right where we

663
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 2: don't even realize subconsciously that it's filling over into our

664
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 2: person the lives. For me, I've always been a soft girl,

665
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 2: but I can also to be very nonchalant, and that

666
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 2: is because that came with well, I had to be

667
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 2: this on the court, and ain't nobody else gonna give

668
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 2: me nothing, so I can't here. And it's like, that's

669
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: not a good way to think. That's not healthy, especially

670
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 2: now even in my dating life, relationship life, that has

671
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 2: taught me a lot of there are just things you

672
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 2: should just be a human. You don't have to be

673
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 2: in ready to go mode all the time like you

674
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,919
Speaker 2: can just be. And so that is something I'm still

675
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 2: actively working through of knowing when to turn it on

676
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 2: and turn it off. I'm in that season of a

677
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 2: learning and it takes a minute. You know. I've been

678
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 2: unlearning nineteen years of what's been drilled into my head

679
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 2: and so here I am again six years out and

680
00:35:55,680 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 2: I'm still learning every single day. So my best advice

681
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 2: to all the athletes that are unlearning, whether if it

682
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 2: stinks from their athletic career or even their childhood traumas,

683
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,760
Speaker 2: it's okay to be paid to it yourself. Be graceful

684
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 2: with yourself as you are in your season of unlearning.

685
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: And relearning more from our conversation after the break, something

686
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 1: else you mentioned earlier in the conversation is it sounds

687
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: like there's some unlearning around perfectionism, right and you know,

688
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: like wanting to be as good as possible and like

689
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 1: excellent on the court, but you know, again, the real

690
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,800
Speaker 1: world doesn't operate that also off the court.

691
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 2: So what can you.

692
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: Say about like unlearning perfectionism and really understanding that it's

693
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 1: okay to kind of show up and do your biz

694
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 1: without being perfect.

695
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 2: Oh, I feel like you have had a conversation with

696
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 2: my therapist before we got on this call. Literally, that

697
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 2: is what we're working through right now. I have a

698
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 2: serious issue of perfectionism. This whiteboard behind me that I

699
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 2: can only see, I will write something three times and

700
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 2: if it's not perfect, I will erase it. That's a problem.

701
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 2: It's a problem. I didn't even realize how bad my

702
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 2: perfectionism was until I had these real conversations with my

703
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: therapist of like, okay, let's write this down. And so

704
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,720
Speaker 2: one thing that I wrote down is I'm a perfectionist

705
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 2: and I like control. And when I say control, not

706
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 2: a control freak, I'm not a control freak. It's in

707
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 2: those seasons of how we always say you gotta trust God,

708
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 2: right because He's in control. And I know that logically,

709
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 2: but subconsciously, somehow my anxiety pops out. And if I

710
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 2: don't feel like I'm in control of a certain situation

711
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 2: or whatever's happening around me, then I feel defeated. And

712
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 2: so I'm working through that now. I wish that I

713
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 2: could give some advice that part, but that is something

714
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 2: that I'm so learning. But I've noticed that in a

715
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 2: lot of us, and if it wasn't, we were riding

716
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 2: the bench and none of us really wanted that. But

717
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 2: even to being an overachiever, I've always been an honor

718
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 2: roll cum laude, all these things, you know, And so

719
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 2: I think a bit of the perfectionism just comes from

720
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 2: a bit of childhood trauma as well as my experience

721
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: of being an athlete that I am actively and utterly

722
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 2: working through every single day. Perfectionism is one of the

723
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 2: things that you'll see in a lot of athletes, and

724
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 2: that's just because we want to be the best of

725
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 2: the best.

726
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it feels like a very hardline to

727
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: toe because you don't become great without continuing to practice

728
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 1: and like continuing to work on your craft. And so

729
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: it feels like you have to be very careful of

730
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 1: not spilling over into like perfection is where that then

731
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,800
Speaker 1: bleeds into all the other areas of your life.

732
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so you've.

733
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: Already shared a little bit about this nea. But if

734
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: there was something that you could go back and tell

735
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: your eighteen year old self, what would it be?

736
00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 2: Just lie about girl five out and Joel enjoy the

737
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 2: present moment? I think obviously too, you know, I mean

738
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 2: social media has always been a thing since I mean

739
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 2: I was growing up, but it wasn't as major as

740
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 2: it is now. And so now when I see athletes

741
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 2: that may follow me on social media, I mean their

742
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 2: bios are down to six' four one eighty four point

743
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,320
Speaker 2: ZERO gpa, Student, like where's the? Personality where's the funny?

744
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 2: Quotes where's the music? Lyrics where it's just being? You

745
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 2: why does everything have to be? Documented where's just? You

746
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 2: and SO i would tell my younger, Self, listen enjoy the,

747
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 2: Ride embrace what you. Feel don't be ashamed of being

748
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 2: cool you. Are don't be ashamed of having bad, days

749
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 2: cause you're gonna have bad. DAYS i mean even when

750
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 2: we get over into, adulthood sometimes you might walk into

751
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 2: the office and be, like, look today is just not my.

752
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 2: Day we can, pray, plan plan all. Day Usually monday

753
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 2: mornings is like my quiet, time my time to just

754
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 2: kind of, reflect especially coming off the, road my time

755
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 2: to get myself. Together this, MORNING i did a little,

756
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 2: yoga little, MEDITATION i read a chapter of my, book

757
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 2: had my. Tea but then Next monday it could look completely.

758
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 2: DIFFERENT i could be rushing out of the. Door that

759
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:28,279
Speaker 2: still does not mean THAT i failed the. Day it

760
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 2: just simply means that this is. Life we can, plan, plan,

761
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: plan all, day but sometimes things just don't work out

762
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 2: the way we want. To and SO i WISH i

763
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 2: could tell my younger self that everything is going to

764
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:47,280
Speaker 2: work out just. Fine just enjoy the moment and stop

765
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 2: trying to think ahead and what's going to happen. Next

766
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 2: just relax and.

767
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 1: Enjoy very timely. Message thank you for, That. Nia so

768
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,040
Speaker 1: where can we stay connected with? You where can we

769
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 1: find out more about purpose to be? Heard in any

770
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 1: social media channels.

771
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 2: You'd like to? Share you can follow all of my

772
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 2: socials AT mir that is in as A nancy on,

773
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 2: AIR nia on air that is On, Instagram, twitter. TikTok

774
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 2: it's me on air with an, underscore but it's still

775
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 2: me on air as you can find me For purpose

776
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,479
Speaker 2: to Be. Heard we're actually in a rebram. Period i'm super.

777
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 2: Excited we've been working on some great content to bring to,

778
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 2: athletes original content that we want to bring amongst other,

779
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 2: things community building that we'll be working on towards the

780
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 2: end of twenty twenty five and so. On but you

781
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 2: can Follow purpose to Be heard At purpose to, TOO

782
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 2: B B E, heard H a R. D then you

783
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 2: can also check out our website www dot ptbh dot.

784
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 2: Net feel free to reach out if you check out this.

785
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 2: Episode AND i always just look forward to meeting all.

786
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 2: ATHLETES i don't care if you played twenty something odd years.

787
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 2: AGO i don't care if you just got done playing last,

788
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 2: week or maybe you decided to leave your sport before you,

789
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 2: graduated even current. ATHLETES i just love talking and connecting

790
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 2: with other athletes and other humans BECAUSE i want to

791
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 2: be that person that my younger self needed so. Bad.

792
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 2: Athlete kudos to every single athlete right now that is

793
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 2: doing their things and trying their best to help as

794
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 2: many athletes as. Possible it definitely thanks the community to

795
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 2: make things.

796
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:26,919
Speaker 1: Happen be sure to include all of that in the show.

797
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 1: Notes thank you so much for sending some time with

798
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: me To, DANIA i appreciate.

799
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 2: It of. Course thanks for having, me Doctor. Joy what

800
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 2: a great.

801
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 1: Conversation i'm so Glad nia was able to join me

802
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 1: for this, conversation And i'm really excited that she kept

803
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: it real and reminded us that the game might, change

804
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: but the goal stays the, same to keep showing, up,

805
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 1: evolving and owning every single space we step, into whether

806
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 1: you're leaving a, sport a, job or just letting go

807
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 1: of who used to. Be, remember you get to pivot with.

808
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 1: Purpose identity isn't tied to one, title and Like nia,

809
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 1: said you can be the player and the play. Caller

810
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 1: to learn more About nia and the work she's, doing

811
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 1: be sure to visit the show notes At therapy For

812
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 1: blackgirls dot, com slash tvgu and don't forget to text

813
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: us episode to two of your girls right now and

814
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: tell them to check it. Out did you know you

815
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 1: could leave us a voicemail with your questions for the

816
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 1: podcast if you have a, question or a movie or

817
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: a book you want us to, review go ahead and

818
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: drop us a. Voicemail you can do that At memo

819
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 1: dot fm Slash therapy For Black girls and let us

820
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 1: know what's on your. Mind we just might feature your

821
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 1: question or suggestion on the. Podcast if you're looking for

822
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 1: a therapist in your, area visit our therapist directory At

823
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: therapy For blackgirls dot com slash. Directory this episode was

824
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 1: produced By Elise, Ellis indechubu And Tyree. Rush editing was

825
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 1: done By Dennison. Bradford thank y'all so much for joining

826
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:01,400
Speaker 1: me again for THIS tvgu. Episode look forward to continuing

827
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 1: this conversation with you all real. Soon take good.

828
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 2: Care