1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: Welcome to stuff mom never told you. From how Supports 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: dot com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Kristen 3 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: and I'm Caroline, and today we're talking about a health 4 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: issue that Caroline, I have reread it over since childhood. 5 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,240 Speaker 1: Oh god, what I know. Most children probably don't freat 6 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: over very coast veins. But my mom was adamant that 7 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: I not cross my legs because of the old wives tale, 8 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: as it turns out that if you cross your legs 9 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: you'll get very coast veins. Because and I don't know 10 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,200 Speaker 1: if she'd be cool with me sharing this with the world, 11 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,559 Speaker 1: but she has very coast veins and underwent surgery for them. 12 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: It was super painful and really uncomfortable, and she was 13 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: always embarrassed about how her legs looked. So she channeled 14 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: that insecurity and you know, straight up health concern, loving 15 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:07,039 Speaker 1: health concern to to me. So I've always been nervous 16 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,960 Speaker 1: about that. And I'm I just realized that I'm sitting 17 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: at the podcast table with my ankles crossed, which is okay, 18 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: not one leg over the other. Now, I'm I'm sitting 19 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: like a man spreader right now because my I T 20 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: band is messed up. So I've got one leg like 21 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,680 Speaker 1: way over to the side as a way to try 22 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 1: to stretch it out as I sit for two hours 23 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: as we record podcasts. But what kind of surgery did 24 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: she have for it? You know, I'd have to go 25 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,760 Speaker 1: back and ask her, But I just I remember when 26 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: she had it. It might have been a scalare therapy procedure, 27 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: which we will explain later in the podcast. But I 28 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: just remember. Um I was in elementary school, I think 29 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: when she got the surgery, and I remember her being 30 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: laid up in bed for a while afterwards because she 31 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: couldn't really move around much. And I was very strange 32 00:01:56,280 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: hatting my mom, you know, on bed rest, because she 33 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: was such a you know, she was always doing everything. 34 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: It was like one of the rare weeks when she 35 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: wasn't well. My mom has not vericoas veins, although I 36 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,519 Speaker 1: think she has some. My mom has an interesting vascular 37 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: thing going on that's on her legs and on her forearms. 38 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: And I'm hoping that by virtue of the fact that 39 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: we have a large intelligent audience, maybe somebody knows the 40 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: answer to this. But her vein problem is more like 41 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: spider veins, but they're not spider veins. Literally, no dermatologist 42 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: or vein specialists that she's gone to knows what the 43 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: problem is because it's all over her legs. It started 44 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: in her early twenties in her feet. I have the 45 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: same thing starting in my feet when I was in 46 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 1: my early to mid twenties. It hasn't spread yet the 47 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: way my mom's has, but it's very interesting. And she 48 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: too went and did the square therapy, which is incredibly painful. 49 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 1: And my mom who um, I'll just say that she 50 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 1: has a high tolerance for certain medications. She takes like 51 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: three viged in to go get the square therapy done, 52 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,360 Speaker 1: and it's still killed her. Yeah, But then the veins 53 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: ended up just coming back. I don't know if that's 54 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: because what she has isn't true spider or very coos veins, 55 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: or if it's just like a totally different condition, or 56 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: maybe she's you know, she's not wearing her compression stockings 57 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,359 Speaker 1: long enough or what do you think our mom's would 58 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: be so annoyed right now if I knew that we 59 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: were talking about them, sure my mom would be horrified. Well, 60 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: I've also been thinking about very coos veins and spider 61 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: veins more recently because I've just been noticing more billboards 62 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: around town for like vein specialists. They all say you're 63 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 1: so vain but like nice fun um. So I've I've 64 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: always been curious about what they are, because I've known 65 00:03:56,200 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: that they're this this thing that causes discomfort and leg insecurity, 66 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: but I've never really known what exactly vericoas veins are. 67 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: So now we do listeners, we have, we have facts 68 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: a plenty for you, and let's start with some history, 69 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 1: as we often do, because here's the thing. If you 70 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:22,920 Speaker 1: think that sclerotherapy is painful, well it's a whole lot 71 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: better than it used to be the old school treatments 72 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: for very coast veins, because not surprisingly, vericas veins have 73 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: been around in our human bodies since forever. Yeah, they're 74 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: cave people with cave veins. Yeah, we have records of 75 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 1: Hippocrates observing ver coast veins, and he thought that they 76 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: were more common among Scythians, which were a group of 77 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 1: Eurasian nomads because they rode horses all the time. Yeah, well, 78 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: my mother should probably stop riding horses to run her 79 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:04,039 Speaker 1: errand everywhere she's got a grocery store parking, there's never 80 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: a space for the horse. There's no trough. It's just everywhere, 81 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 1: so inconvenient. And I don't know that Hippocrates was so 82 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 1: far off, because by the sixteenth century we'd figured out 83 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: that there was a link between vericoas veins and standing 84 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: too long, particularly standing before kings. And then I'm immediately like, 85 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,160 Speaker 1: how long were people standing before kings? What were they 86 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: waiting for? I guess you had to like go, like 87 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: I'm just picturing Game of Thrones and denies Targarian and 88 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: you had to like go request something and wait in 89 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: line for like ever. I thought of Game of Thrones too, 90 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: and realized how you would be standing there forever. And 91 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: of course you didn't have iPhones back then. Like what 92 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 1: did you do? I don't know. I guess you just twitter, 93 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: just thoughts, thoughts. Maybe people were more introspective back when 94 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 1: they were developing vericas veins while they were waiting for 95 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: the for the king. They also um noted links between 96 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,799 Speaker 1: vericoas veins and pregnancy, which are a thing that exists 97 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: there there is an actual link between the two. But 98 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 1: this whole like standing in Verica's vain thing really worries 99 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 1: me because as I'm reading all of this research for 100 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,480 Speaker 1: this episode. Kristin I was like, we have standing desks, 101 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: oh lord, But to be fair, like we tele a 102 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: work also, we sit down for lunch breaks, we sit 103 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:25,359 Speaker 1: down for meetings. So there it's like a lot of 104 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: sitting and standing like a Greek wedding. It's not necessarily 105 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: all just standing all day long. I think I make 106 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: up for it in my like Netflix binge sessions. Yeah. Well, 107 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 1: the thing is like we're failing ourselves either way because 108 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: you shouldn't stand all day, but you also shouldn't sit 109 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:43,720 Speaker 1: all day, Like, there needs to be movements. So I 110 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. Maybe like get a walking 111 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: desk treadmill type of thing and and watch your Netflix 112 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: that way, or maybe get a kiddie pool. Maybe we 113 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: should just be in water more. We should be swimming 114 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 1: and swimming desks. There we go for the waterproof laptops. Um, 115 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 1: but back to history, back back to the chime before laptops. 116 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: In sixteen o three, a super smart gentleman named Hieronymous 117 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: Fabricius talk about it, pretty snazzy name. He suspected a 118 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: vain valve issue was to blame, and that was a 119 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: pretty savvy observation. As we'll explain in just a minute, 120 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: But if you had vericose veins during the Middle Ages, 121 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: the kind of treatments that you might undergo would include 122 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: blood letting, cauterization, and very similar to compression tights and 123 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: stockings that you might wear today. They would wear lace 124 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: up leather stockings, so like or like you're going to 125 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: a leather bar. Yeah. Yeah, So that's that's something that 126 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: we could still technically do today if we wanted. They 127 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: were very on trend, and not surprisingly in more recent times, 128 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: as treat technology has improved beyond laced up leather stockings 129 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 1: and blood letting with things like laser treatments and scleropathy, 130 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: numbers of people seeking treatments for spider veins and vericoast 131 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: veins have only escalated, according to stats from the American 132 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. And they're super common. That's 133 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: the thing about vericoast veins. Of women and fort of 134 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: men have some type of vein issue. Yeah, and that's 135 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 1: coming from the Department of Health and Human Services Office 136 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 1: on Women's Health. And up to seventy of men and 137 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: women develop spider veins, which these tend to emerge in 138 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: your forties or fifties, although hello, let's talk about me, 139 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: about of us will develop spider veins in our twenties 140 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: and thirties. And so like, as I'm reading all this stuff, 141 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: I did look at my legs because they tend to 142 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: form on your calves, like the back of your legs 143 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: or whatever. And I noticed like a like a blue 144 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 1: a little blue, teeny tiny thread like squiggle on the 145 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 1: back of my leg. Because spider veins don't necessarily have 146 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,319 Speaker 1: to be red, they can also be blue. Saying that 147 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:17,959 Speaker 1: very coast veins and uh yeah, it's very tiny. It's 148 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: like it's like a couple of millimeters long. Um. And 149 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: I immediately was like I should run around the block 150 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 1: or get into that kiddie pool with my lace up 151 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: leather pants. There you go, there you go. So, what's 152 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 1: up with the very coast veins? How are they caused 153 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: so quick? Anatomy lesson just for a refresher. Our veins 154 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: job is to carry blood back to the heart and 155 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: lungs for recirculation. So in the process, our foot and 156 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,440 Speaker 1: leg muscles have to work really hard because they're working 157 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: coins gravity to help pump that blood back up and 158 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: we have these tiny valves in the veins open up 159 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 1: that allow the blood to flow towards the heart and 160 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,439 Speaker 1: then close behind it to prevent the blood from me like, oh, 161 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna just cruise on back down there and flow 162 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:13,679 Speaker 1: backward and pool. But sometimes those valves and our vein 163 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: walls can weaken, and this leads to blood leaking back 164 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: and collecting and vericose veins forming there's totally nothing gross 165 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: about that. I totally had no problem reading about pooling 166 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: blood Kristen in these sources. And so speaking of hormones, 167 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: as you might imagine, pregnancy has an effect on this 168 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 1: stuff as well. So during pregnancy, you've got more blood 169 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:42,959 Speaker 1: going through you, you've got greater blood pressure. This is 170 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: exerting more pressure on your blood vessels, as you might imagine. 171 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 1: But then you've got the one to punch of the 172 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: progesterone relaxing your blood vessels. So suddenly boom, you've got 173 00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 1: pregnancy induced vericas veins. And the good news is is 174 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 1: that pregnancy related vericas and spider veins do tend to 175 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 1: fade over time post baby, but they can also get 176 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 1: worse with each successive pregnancy, which I do wonder whether 177 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: that is partially why my mom had such a hard 178 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 1: time with vercas veins because I was her fifth child. 179 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 1: My mom worked so hard. Yeah, I wonder because my 180 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: mom was one of five. So I wonder if her 181 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: mom had him. I have no idea, but my mom 182 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: she only had me, but she does stand all the 183 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: time for her job as a flight attendant. Well, and 184 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: if her mom had him, And there's definitely an hereditary 185 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:41,280 Speaker 1: link to Yeah, it's an escapable let's all just get 186 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: to priff. But in addition to these naturally occurring hormones 187 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 1: and pregnancy, women might also be more predisposed to developing 188 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: very coast and spider veins because of things like wearing 189 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: high heels for extended periods of time. That's linked to 190 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 1: both vericoas and spider veins. And we're really talking about 191 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,840 Speaker 1: the higher heels and we just weren't like a kitten heel. 192 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 1: It's not so bad, but and it's adorable, but those 193 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:13,839 Speaker 1: high heels aren't terrific for our circulation. Surprise. Yeah, high 194 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 1: heels in general not not so great for your physical being. Um. Also, 195 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: birth control hormones. Hello, the hormone fund never stops. As 196 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: a human person, because you know, we mentioned estrogen and 197 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 1: progestine weakening those vein walls, so people who take birth 198 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: control more likely to have verkas veins. But for some 199 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 1: quick myth busting relevant to a number of stuff I've 200 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 1: never told you listeners and myself who have tattoos and 201 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: want to get more tattoos, even if you have vericas veins, 202 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: you can still get them. That was an old myth 203 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: that like if you have ercas veins and you shouldn't 204 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 1: get tattoos, and assuming because of issues with needles and 205 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 1: blood and all of that, was there an assumption to 206 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: that that tattoos could contribute to vericas veins because that's 207 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 1: also false. Yeah, just in case you were worried, it 208 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,559 Speaker 1: was probably just your mom telling me, trying to scare 209 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: you out of getting a tattoo. Stuff your mom might 210 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 1: have told you stuff your mom's scaremongered, Yeah, into you. 211 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 1: But vericoast veins don't just develop on your legs and feet, 212 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,480 Speaker 1: even though we've talked a lot about our foot muscles 213 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 1: and calf muscles and all of the blood pressure and 214 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: vein valve weakening that happens in that area. But friends, 215 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: this was the most shocking aspect of this research. I'd 216 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 1: never heard of this before. This is coming from the 217 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 1: Mayo Clinic. You can develop vercoast veins in your volva. Yeah, 218 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: they're called vulver variscosities. Yeah, And like ver coast fans 219 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,560 Speaker 1: on your legs, they tend to develop during pregnancy. Again 220 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: because cause of that additional blood volume that you produce 221 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 1: during pregnancy to nourish the developing fetus and the pressure 222 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: that that developing baby put on your pelvis and your volva, 223 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 1: and the veins might end up bulging. But even if 224 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: you don't, you'll probably feel it. Even if you can't 225 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 1: see them, you might know that you have them if 226 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 1: your doctor hasn't caught them before you do well, because 227 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 1: it's not just on the volva either, Kristen, I didn't 228 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: realize that hemrhoids, which a lot of pregnant women experience, 229 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 1: that's a varicos vein issue as well, because there's so 230 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 1: much pressure on the lower half of your body and 231 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 1: those same hormones and that same blood pressure is working. 232 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 1: So if you develop vulver vari scosities, you also might 233 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 1: get hemorrhoids. And if you have vulvari scosities, you will 234 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: probably feel a fullness and rusher and painful swelling in 235 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: the vulver area. No surprise, sex is very painful. Standing 236 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: and exercising only aggravates the problem as well. So what's 237 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 1: the person with vulver vericosity is to do. Get yourself 238 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: to an antique store and buy yourself an old school 239 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: minstrel belt. It's that simple, people, so simple. Yeah. Before 240 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: uh Maxi pads came conveniently with adhesive on the bottom, 241 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: we would use menstrul belts to hold up our our 242 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: period diapers, and doctors used to recommend wearing pads with 243 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 1: supportive menstrul belts to offer some compression in that area 244 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: in the same way that you know compression stockings can 245 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: relieve some of the symptoms of hir coast veins in 246 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: your legs. Sure, yeah, and now you know the same concept, 247 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 1: just minus the belt. Can just go get like a 248 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: whole bunch of pads and stick them in your pregnancy 249 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: skinny jeans and I'm sure that will be fine and comfortable. Yeah. 250 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: The article in over at Mayo Clinic said that it 251 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 1: would take six Maxi pads today to give you any 252 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 1: kind of supportive relief. But there are specially designed support garments. UM, 253 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 1: and also things that you can do like not standing 254 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,360 Speaker 1: too much prop up your legs, which you know what 255 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: I say, if you're a pregnant person, you should be 256 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 1: propping up your legs all the time anyway, because you 257 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: deserve it. UM. Swimming helps because it relieves that pressure. 258 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: And also I sing your volva might help as well. 259 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: That's just like I felt myself get colder. Yeah, and 260 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: I also realized, I don't think I've ever said the 261 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: phrase I see your volva could be a new cocktail 262 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 1: idea where our new catchphrase stuff I've never told. It's 263 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: a way for us to tell each other to calm down, listen, 264 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 1: just go ice your volvo. Why don't you So when 265 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: we're talking about vericast veins that typically develop in your 266 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 1: feet and legs, what are the symptoms you mentioned, Caroline? 267 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: The coloring, Yeah, so they can be dark, purple or blue, 268 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: and that is because this is unoxygenated blood. Uh, they're bulging. 269 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:20,879 Speaker 1: They have sort of a gnarled appearance, almost like a 270 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: tree root. I hope I'm not making this worse for people. Um, 271 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:30,120 Speaker 1: but physically you might feel achiness, burning sensations, muscle cramping 272 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 1: and itchiness around veins. You also might experience skin ulcers 273 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,920 Speaker 1: around the ankle. However, people, this is a possible sign 274 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 1: of vascular disease, so make sure you get thee to 275 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: a doctor a SAP if this is what you're experiencing now. 276 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: When it comes to spider veins, these are a mild 277 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:53,160 Speaker 1: variation of vericast veins, but they aren't actually veins. Their 278 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 1: blood that's leaked out of broken capillaries near the skin 279 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 1: surface and discolors that tissue, and they typically show up 280 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 1: on the legs, but they can also develop on your face, 281 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: which I did not know. Yeah, And they tend to 282 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 1: be red or blue, and they're typically, according to your 283 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,919 Speaker 1: health provider, just considered a cosmetic issue, although they could 284 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:21,160 Speaker 1: indicate circulatory problems, which is why I'm constantly nagging my 285 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 1: mother if we want to give out to the complaining 286 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,760 Speaker 1: episode and nagging, nagging my mother to go back to 287 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: the doctor to try to figure out her vein issues. 288 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 1: But so, then, what causes spider veins to happen? Well, 289 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 1: when it comes to spider veins and vericoas veins, the 290 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: root of the issue could be all sorts of things. 291 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:45,880 Speaker 1: Circulation problems, not surprisingly hormone changes. We've already talked about 292 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 1: estrogen and progestine, so I think puberty, pregnancy, menopause, sun damage, 293 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: obesity can lead to them as well, because extra weight 294 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 1: will put additional pressure on your veins. A sedentary lifestyle, 295 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,919 Speaker 1: which I and is linked to the poor circulation issue, 296 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: and age. The older that we get, the weaker our 297 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,119 Speaker 1: vein valves become, which makes me sad for my for 298 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 1: my aging vein valves. You know, I'm sure they appreciate 299 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:20,439 Speaker 1: your sympathy, Thank you. Quiet. And then there's kind of 300 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 1: the inescapable stuff well, like age, but also genetics you 301 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 1: might just inherit genes that might predispose you to weaker 302 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:34,640 Speaker 1: vein walls and weaker valves. And of course things like stress, 303 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: smoking and drinking don't help either. These things that cause 304 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: inflammation and the body, they can contribute to weakening walls 305 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, apparently stress is a huge environmental factor 306 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,640 Speaker 1: for this and so many things. The more I read 307 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,320 Speaker 1: about the impact of stress, Caroline, the more stressed out 308 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: to become about my level of stress, because I feel 309 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,879 Speaker 1: like I am just setting myself up for all sorts 310 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 1: of health problems. Yeah, we basically we all just need 311 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,479 Speaker 1: to calm down. We need to ice our volvas so 312 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: to speak. I mean I'm including everyone, this is it's 313 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: just a turn of phrase. Yes, so ice your volva 314 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 1: so to speak, if you will, if you will, and 315 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,120 Speaker 1: we can all relax, like a deep breath and relax. 316 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 1: Because speaking of which, what kind of self care can 317 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:26,200 Speaker 1: we do to assist with vericose veins and spider vein issues? 318 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 1: So put on those compression stockings, ladies and gentlemen um 319 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 1: and they're different. I mean, they're different strengths basically. I 320 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: mean it's everything from stockings you get at the drug store, 321 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,160 Speaker 1: which are sort of like a one pressure fits all 322 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,680 Speaker 1: kind of thing. They're not incredibly compressed all the way 323 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:49,159 Speaker 1: up to uh literally prescription strength compression stockings that you 324 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: can get from your dermatologists. I wonder if those are 325 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: at all related to the compression socks and gear that 326 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 1: you're seeing more and more runners and athletes wearing. I 327 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,880 Speaker 1: would think, so, she says, based on almost nothing. Yeah, 328 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: I'm just curious, listeners, if you if you have any 329 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,040 Speaker 1: hunches on that, please let me know, because I'm wondering 330 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 1: if you could get a two for be like, well, 331 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to just get my compression socks from a 332 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 1: jogging and also will it improve your circulation? You should 333 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,960 Speaker 1: just get like a full body, like long underwear compression 334 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 1: suit to wear under your clothes. Just the spanks unitar 335 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 1: or it could be like or you could you know, 336 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: like the tuxedo t shirts. You could have like a 337 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: suit painted onto it so you could wear your super 338 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: tight compression suit to work. That sounds very flattering. But 339 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: here's the thing, people, save your money and don't buy 340 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 1: all of those topical creams and serums and concealers promising cures, 341 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:55,480 Speaker 1: even even fancy vitamin K creams, because topical treatments can't 342 00:21:55,520 --> 00:22:00,200 Speaker 1: penetrate deeply enough to do anything. They're not going to 343 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,879 Speaker 1: fix the structure of your vein walls are certainly not 344 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:11,440 Speaker 1: your vein valves, So I mean they might moisturize. Moisturize anyway, Yeah, absolutely, 345 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,800 Speaker 1: And if you want to use a makeup concealer, if 346 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:19,040 Speaker 1: you are embarrassed about the discoloration, that can happen by 347 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,720 Speaker 1: all means my mom my mom goes crazy with the 348 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: self tanner as a way to to camouflage. I will 349 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 1: not offer further commentary um. According to Women's Health magazine, though, 350 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:35,680 Speaker 1: horse chestnut oil might help reduce the swelling and redness, 351 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: but again, it will not cure the veins. It's just 352 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 1: kind of offering a temporary, temporary assistance. And that was 353 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,160 Speaker 1: the first time I had ever heard of horse chestnut oil. Yeah, 354 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 1: I've never heard of it. Yeah, well, not to be 355 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:55,439 Speaker 1: confused with a horse named chestnut oil. But as we 356 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:59,160 Speaker 1: mentioned at the top of the podcast, they're also medical procedures. 357 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 1: There are veins actualist and they're also treatments like sclerotherapy, 358 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:10,919 Speaker 1: which is considered the gold standard. Yeah, so here's what happens. 359 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:16,040 Speaker 1: The doctor injects this chemical cocktail of salt, fatty acids, 360 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: and glycerin into the vericos or spider vein. This makes 361 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,640 Speaker 1: the blood flow stop and then the veins transform into 362 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,639 Speaker 1: scar tissue, and that scar tissue eventually fades. I have 363 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: no idea why it would be so painful, But okay, 364 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: so this procedure has a success, right, But as my 365 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,880 Speaker 1: mother could tell you, it might take. It probably will 366 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 1: take multiple treatments for severe vein issues, and more recently 367 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:49,199 Speaker 1: laser treatments have become more popular as well. But like 368 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,919 Speaker 1: sclarer therapy for those severe vericose veins. It will probably 369 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: take multiple laser treatments to see noticeable difference as well. 370 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 1: And then you've got this thing called veins stripping. Yeah, 371 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,560 Speaker 1: this is when you actually remove part of a long, 372 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 1: superficial vein that's causing the issue. It's an outpatient surgery. Um. 373 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:16,480 Speaker 1: There's also endoscopic surgery for severe cases, and something called 374 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 1: ambulatory flubec to me, which is removing small vericoast veins 375 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:26,840 Speaker 1: through skin punctures. And none of this sounds very pleasant 376 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 1: at all. No, But what does take me back to 377 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: the movie Sense and Sensibility Colonel Brandon Rest in peace. 378 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 1: Alan Rickman just passed is leeches? Remember leeches treatment Kate 379 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 1: or Kate Winslet's character anyhow, So I know you're like leeches. 380 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,680 Speaker 1: What that's like some crazy outdated therapy that only Courtney 381 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:54,919 Speaker 1: Cox uses. No, doctors in India have successfully used leeches 382 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: to reduce major swelling in eighteen vericoas vein patients. Now 383 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 1: here's the deal. So I mentioned earlier that vericos veins 384 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 1: are like blue and gnarly because it's unoxygenated blood. It 385 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: hasn't been able to pump back through the lungs to 386 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: get reoxygenated. Leeches love that stuff. And there's even a 387 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 1: farm I think it's called like bio farm or something 388 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 1: in England that provides thousands of leeches to healthcare providers 389 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: every year. Yeah. I mean this was reported on in 390 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: the New Scientists and BBC and other outlets, and I 391 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: mean eighteen patients is a pretty small studied population, but 392 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,679 Speaker 1: apparently it you know, it could work. But I also 393 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:45,160 Speaker 1: learned reading this that leech saliva has natural anesthetics in it, 394 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,640 Speaker 1: so it hurts less when these little buggers bite you 395 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 1: and start sucking out all that deoxygenated blood. You seem 396 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:56,000 Speaker 1: pretty interested in the leech treatment, super interested in this 397 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 1: because I it's so fascinating. We read so much about 398 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,399 Speaker 1: these cookie treatments than medical things from history all the time, 399 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: and I love that this one is coming back, but 400 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: backed by you know, evidence and happy things like science 401 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: and stuff, and those lace up leather stockings are just 402 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 1: backed by good fashion sense. My apartment's about to get 403 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,400 Speaker 1: so weird. So here's the thing. If you want to 404 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: prevent vericos veins and spider veins from happening, well you 405 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 1: can't because genetics and also hormones and things that we 406 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: can't entirely stop from happening, also aging, But there are 407 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,160 Speaker 1: lifestyle things that you can do to at least delay 408 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: them and minimize their severity. And really this has to 409 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 1: do with all of this stuff our moms probably did 410 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: tell us about maintaining healthy, active lifestyles. Wearing sunscreen. My 411 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:57,120 Speaker 1: mother is so adamant about me wearing sunscreen, and at 412 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: thirty one, I wish I listened to her more. I 413 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,239 Speaker 1: do too. I got some super bad sunburns when I 414 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,919 Speaker 1: was growing up. Over and over again, me too. But 415 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 1: here's the thing. You can cross your legs. That is 416 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: a myth. The external pressure caused by crossing your legs 417 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,119 Speaker 1: might cause your veins to temporarily bulge, but it doesn't 418 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 1: cause vericast veins. So next time I see my mom 419 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 1: when it crossed my legs in front of her and 420 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,880 Speaker 1: explained science, and you're gonna be like, deal with this 421 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:31,359 Speaker 1: with this and be like, oh god, But it's again, 422 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:35,200 Speaker 1: it's the defective valves or weakened veins that lead to 423 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: the vericoast issues. And finally, in case you need another reason, 424 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: don't smoke. Yeah, man, smoking is not good for your circulation, 425 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:49,879 Speaker 1: and poor circulation predisposes you too. Vericoast things I'm smoking 426 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: is just the worst. Anyway, cut it out. And on 427 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 1: an unrelated note, I also learned thanks to his stuff 428 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 1: when I were told you video I recently made, that 429 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:03,560 Speaker 1: smoking is also linked to breast potosis a k A. 430 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: Boob saggage. Whoa, I've literally never heard that word before potosis. Yeah. Well, 431 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: then it sounds like you need to get over to 432 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 1: YouTube dot com slash stuff mom never told you I do? Wow? 433 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 1: All right, learning all these all sorts of things. Well, listeners, 434 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,520 Speaker 1: we want to learn some things from you. Is anyone 435 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,440 Speaker 1: out there dealing with vericas veins and spider veins? I mean, 436 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,040 Speaker 1: statistically the answer has to be yes. So we want 437 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: to hear from you. What kind of issues have you had? 438 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 1: What kind of treatments have you tried? Out? Mom Stuff 439 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 1: at how stuff works dot com is our email address. 440 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: You can also tweet us at mom stuff podcast or 441 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 1: messages on Facebook, and we've got a couple of messages 442 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: to share with you right now. Well, I have a 443 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: letter here from a listener who would like to remain 444 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 1: anonymous in response to the pair of episodes we did 445 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 1: with a practical wedding founder, Meg keene Uh. This listener says, 446 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 1: when my groom and I began planning, family drama immediately 447 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: started to crop up. I feel really gross about my 448 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 1: father giving me away. I find it patriarchal and demeaning. 449 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 1: My fiance feels the same way, which is why he 450 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 1: didn't ask my dad for permission, because quote, it's not 451 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: a transaction. We are both fierce feminists, so we have 452 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 1: a lot of opinions about the patriarchal traditions of weddings 453 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 1: in general. But once other people and their feelings started 454 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: getting involved, we started kicking around the idea of eloping 455 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,960 Speaker 1: at city Hall and then having a wedding later for 456 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 1: everyone else. Our weddings started becoming about other people rather 457 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: than about us in our love. So we talked about 458 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 1: it and I laughed it off until I knew that 459 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 1: I was finally getting kicked off my parents health insurance. 460 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure I could put my fiancee 461 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 1: on my new insurance through work, since he is still uninsured, 462 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 1: and that was the nail in the coffin. While I 463 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 1: was worried that if my parents found out, they would 464 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,240 Speaker 1: be heartbroken for getting cut out of something or the 465 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: other wedding would just be a sham. We realized that 466 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,160 Speaker 1: a second ceremony is still just as important and that 467 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 1: we really just very desperately wanted to be married to 468 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: each other. So we went down to the courthouse just 469 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: before Christmas and got married about a cute little white 470 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,000 Speaker 1: dress and a veil, and we brought two of my 471 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 1: best friends to be witnesses. I have to say it 472 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: was absolutely magical. We got Mexican food and Margarita's after 473 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,480 Speaker 1: and spend a night in a hotel, and it's been 474 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 1: wonderful being secretly married. This also meant that we didn't 475 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: have to deal with anything we thought of as patriarchal, 476 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 1: and it just became about us celebrating our love in 477 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 1: a very tiny and private way. So now that we've 478 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: had our Shakespearean elopement, that's what we tell ourselves. It's 479 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:40,920 Speaker 1: taken some of the pressure off of planning the wedding, 480 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 1: but in other ways it's made it harder. There's been 481 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 1: difficult decisions already about venues, and we can't use the 482 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 1: excuse of at the end of the day will be 483 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: married because we already are, and I still don't want 484 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 1: to be given away by my father, but he's very 485 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: sentimental and it'll mean the world to him, so of 486 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 1: course I'll do it to reconcile myself with the fact 487 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: that this is an act of him selling me. We 488 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,680 Speaker 1: will not have the officiant do the whole who gives 489 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 1: this woman to be given away? Woman in all caps, 490 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 1: because anyone who says this is obviously a blustering Puritan 491 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 1: judge from six seventy. I've also kicked around the idea 492 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,320 Speaker 1: of maybe having my husband's mom walk him down the aisle, 493 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 1: but they have a bit of a contentious relationship, so 494 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,480 Speaker 1: I won't make them. But this has already started to 495 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: be a wild, stressful experience. I can't even get quotes 496 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,479 Speaker 1: on flowers, how much the flowers cost. But I'm very 497 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,240 Speaker 1: much looking forward to the wedding despite everything. And ultimately 498 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: I think a wedding is a party to celebrate two 499 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 1: people who love each other and want to make that 500 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:40,239 Speaker 1: love legally binding. Patriarchy be damned. She then thanks us 501 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 1: for introducing her to a practical wedding, and so thank you, 502 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 1: anonymous listener, for writing in and sharing your story. And 503 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:51,560 Speaker 1: to answer anonymous is question flowers cost approximately a lot. 504 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 1: Take it for me? So I have a letter here 505 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:59,239 Speaker 1: from Jen, also about our chat with Meg Kane from 506 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 1: a Practical Wedding, She writes, I particularly enjoyed your recent 507 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 1: part one episode on Practical Weddings. Meg Kine is fantastic 508 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 1: and I used her website as a near constant reference 509 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 1: when my wife and I got married in October. I 510 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 1: really enjoyed getting to know the person behind the incredible 511 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: website that helped me maintain my standity during the wedding 512 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 1: planning process. Because the Sminty Practical Wedding episodes are primarily 513 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: focused on traditional heterosexual weddings, I wanted to offer an 514 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,520 Speaker 1: additional resource for LGBT folks who are tying the not. 515 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 1: When my wife and I got engaged, my parents gave 516 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 1: us The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings, which 517 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 1: addressed novel issues that gay couple's face when getting married, 518 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 1: above and beyond the traditional pressures and norms. For example, 519 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 1: one of the sections I loved was on the rs 520 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 1: VP attendance rate. The guide cautioned that the typical r 521 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: s v P attendance rate may not apply to a 522 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,600 Speaker 1: same sex wedding, and in fact may be much higher 523 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 1: because guests maybe particularly eager to demonstrate their acceptance and 524 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:05,240 Speaker 1: or tolerance. The book is very much in the spirit 525 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 1: of a practical wedding with its acknowledgement of many ways 526 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 1: to do weddings, while also providing some much needed advice 527 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,560 Speaker 1: for same sex couples. I wanted to share and hope 528 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 1: you'll help spread the word. Well, thanks so much for 529 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,720 Speaker 1: sharing this resource with us, Jen and it's been so 530 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 1: fun hearing folks is responses to a Practical Wedding And 531 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,160 Speaker 1: if you'd like to send us an email, Mom stuff 532 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,040 Speaker 1: at how stuff works dot com is where you can 533 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 1: send it and for links to all of our social 534 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 1: media as well as all of our blogs, videos, and 535 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 1: podcast with our sources, including this one so you can 536 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 1: learn even more about vericos and spider veins. Cut on 537 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:51,360 Speaker 1: over to stuff Mom Never Told You dot com more 538 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: on this and thousands of other topics. Doesn't have stuff 539 00:33:54,000 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 1: works dot com. Yes,