1 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Hello, my love, it is Lala Can Welcome to the 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: bonus episode of They Give Them La La Pod with 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: Cale Lowry. Hello, my love, Hello, welcome back. 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: I have so many people who are asking wild, wild, 6 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,119 Speaker 1: fucking questions about parenting things that I haven't had to 7 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,319 Speaker 1: think about yet because my oldest is four. Okay, you're 8 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: kind of you've got all the ages right, seasoned, you 9 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: are seasoned af So the first question from Julianne underscore 10 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 1: Losa says, son fifteen years old wanting to go in 11 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: bedroom with girlfriend? 12 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 2: Oh no, hard, past hard, no. 13 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: Hell those when you're fifteen, fifteen to sixteen? What happens? 14 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: What you end up on? Sixteen and pregnant? 15 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 3: What was that line from Mean Girls? You will get 16 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 3: pregnant and die. Not happening, not on my watch. Here's 17 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 3: the thing, this is the part that's controversial, is like 18 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 3: teenagers are gonna find a way to do what they 19 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 3: want to do right totally, and you guys can live 20 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 3: in denial about it, or you can just look in 21 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,559 Speaker 3: the mirror and face the music. 22 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 2: Right. 23 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 3: No, we're gonna we're gonna shut that down really quick. 24 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 3: You guys can do you know, go to the basement 25 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 3: and leave the door open. You know, siblings can come 26 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 3: in and out. You can go in the living room, 27 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 3: you can go outside, but we're not going in a 28 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,040 Speaker 3: bedroom and we're not closing the door. 29 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 2: It's never happening. 30 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: Okay, So I fifteen is young. I lost my virginity 31 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: at seventeen when I was with my boyfriend, who I 32 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 1: lost my virginity too. I was told later that my 33 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 1: dad was like, you're letting Lauren sleep with her boyfriend 34 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: and have sleepovers. And my mom was like, if they're 35 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 1: gonna have sex, they'll figure out a way to do 36 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: it in the car at school, They'll figure out how 37 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 1: to do it in a bathroom at school. Like, they'll 38 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: figure it out. So my mom was like, I'm going 39 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: to try and teach my kid this is how we, 40 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 1: you know, practice safe sex and whatnot, because we were 41 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: fucking like rabbits. But I also wasn't fifteen, so you're 42 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: on the hard end of like, you're not going to 43 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: bed with each other. 44 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 3: You're not going to bed, But I understand that it's 45 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 3: still gonna probably happen, But y'all all better get creative 46 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:20,959 Speaker 3: because it's not gonna happen. 47 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 2: On my watch. 48 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 1: Oh I love that. Okay, yeah, go get creative then, 49 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 1: because my creative I gotta prevent it, scale it back, 50 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: you know. 51 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,240 Speaker 3: But outside of that, I'm not gonna like make it comfortable. 52 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna make it easy. You're not gonna go 53 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:37,679 Speaker 2: like we do have a camper, I gotta lock the 54 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 2: camper door, you know what I mean? 55 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you have a Hella fun house? Are 56 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: we teaching? I mean your oldest is fifteen and a half. 57 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:48,959 Speaker 2: Yeah. 58 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: Have we had sex talks or sex talks? 59 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 3: Condoms? STDs? And that's the other thing too. I think 60 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,440 Speaker 3: there's such a heavy emphasis on pregnancies and not enough 61 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 3: emphasis on STDs. There she can't get. 62 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:02,639 Speaker 2: Rid of them. 63 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 3: I No, sure you can get the clap and go 64 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 3: get some meds, but there are certain ones you can't 65 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 3: get rid of ever. And now you have to explain 66 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,239 Speaker 3: that to every partner. And I'm not trying to stigmatize 67 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 3: it by any means, but I'm just like, this is 68 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 3: a conversation that I feel like we're dropping the ball 69 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 3: on in terms of the you know, the sex talks. 70 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: I so agree with you. Yeah, And I grew up 71 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 1: in Utah where it was like there was no separation 72 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,639 Speaker 1: between church and state, so church was like very heavy. 73 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: I didn't grow up Mormon, but it was like, why 74 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: are we having these conversations that are so just like like, 75 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: don't do this because you could get pregnant and not 76 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: go to heaven. It's like, what the fuck? 77 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 3: Just like weird conversations that you're just like, let's be 78 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 3: logical about this. 79 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 2: Please please write. 80 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm dreading the sex talks Jillian ray Mason. 81 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: How do you deal with mom guilt with giving your 82 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: firstborn enough love as the newborn? So you've had multiple newborns? 83 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 2: Yeah? 84 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: Did it get easier as Isaac got older. 85 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 3: I had a really hard time while I was pregnant 86 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 3: with my second because I was like, I don't think 87 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 3: there's any way that I'll love this baby the way 88 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 3: that I love my first child, Like I just didn't 89 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 3: know what that was going to be like. And I 90 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,840 Speaker 3: quickly learned that love multiplies, it doesn't divide. So the 91 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 3: more kids I had, the more love I had. 92 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,040 Speaker 2: It was weird. 93 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 3: I don't know how to explain it. So it's like 94 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 3: if you put a circle around a circle around a circle. 95 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 2: It was like the love got bigger Yeah. 96 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 3: And I also think that the age gap between my 97 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 3: first and second was really helpful too, because I had 98 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 3: one on one time with Isaac, and then when he 99 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 3: went to preschool in kindergarten, I had a newborn and 100 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 3: so I gave that one on one time to just Lincoln, 101 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 3: and so that's sort of what the pattern was. 102 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 2: I don't know that. 103 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 3: There's ever a way to get around mom gil ever, 104 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 3: Like I truly think that it's something that unfortunately we 105 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 3: have inherently. 106 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,600 Speaker 1: I think so too, And I think once you kind 107 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: of conquer the one with this question, I do understand 108 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: if we're talking about a newborn, you've got the hormones 109 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: that are just raging. And I actually felt the same 110 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 1: way that you felt cale when I was pregnant with Ocean. 111 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,280 Speaker 1: I had a very different feeling than I had when 112 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,720 Speaker 1: I was pregnant with Sosa, my second daughter, And I 113 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: was like, I don't think I'm gonna love this baby 114 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,279 Speaker 1: as much as I love Ocean, Like I'm not feeling 115 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: the same way that I felt when I was pregnant 116 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: with Ocean. And when Sosa was born, I was like 117 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: so terrified when she came out. I was like when 118 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: they lay this baby on my chest, Like what if 119 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 1: I don't what if I'm not feeling this chick? Yeah, 120 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: and you're right. I love what you said that it multiplies, 121 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 1: it doesn't divide. 122 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 123 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 3: I have chills because I remember Macy from Teen Moms 124 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 3: specifically like reaching out to me and being like, Caile, 125 00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 3: I am having my second. I don't know if I 126 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 3: she felt the same, and I sort of explained it 127 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 3: to her, and that was years ago. But I think 128 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 3: it's a feeling that no mom really wants to talk about. 129 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 3: And but I don't know, it's it's it's a weird 130 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 3: I don't know how to I don't know how to 131 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:12,600 Speaker 3: describe it. 132 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,279 Speaker 1: I have a question for you. So you had your second, 133 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: Lincoln with your husband at the time. Yeah, Macy had 134 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: her second with a husband, right, Yes, Okay, so all 135 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,839 Speaker 1: three of us have had babies where there's almost a 136 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 1: bit of I won't speak for you, but for me, 137 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 1: I feel a tremendous trauma bond with my first born. Yes, 138 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: and I think we have a special place in our 139 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: hearts for the first because it was not an ideal situation. 140 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 1: We were in fight mode for these kids, yep, yep, 141 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: and the second it was kind of like we got 142 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,279 Speaker 1: to experience motherhood the way you're supposed to. It's supposed 143 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: to be fun, it's supposed to be you know, normal, 144 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 1: you deal with the normal hormones and what goes into it. 145 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,119 Speaker 1: But the first was like the moment they were born, 146 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: it was Duke's up, like, I will fuck you up 147 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: for this. Baby. 148 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 3: You come out guns blazing, like you grow up together, 149 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 3: and so you're sort of experiencing different aspects of life 150 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 3: together as the first time mom versus the second one 151 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 3: is a little bit more chill. 152 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: I feel, yeah, like we we I kind of know 153 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: what we're doing, you know, like that baby's like I'm 154 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 1: new to the world and you're like, I got you though, 155 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: because I did this, I've done this before. Yeah, yeah, okay, 156 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: so I love that. Christy five Lynn says, how do 157 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: you deal with kids feeling left out? 158 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 3: Carving out one in one time? I'm a big proponent 159 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 3: of that. I will scream that from the rooftops until 160 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 3: the day I die. Is like making sure if that's 161 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 3: what they're talking about, maybe like siblings left out in 162 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 3: terms of friends. 163 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 2: We don't have time for that shit. We'll just move 164 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 2: on to the next thing, you know what I mean? 165 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: Do they feel left out amongst each other? They all 166 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: play pretty well. 167 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 3: My middle two will be like, oh, you love him 168 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 3: more than me, or you know, you said he looked 169 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 3: nice today and you didn't say I looked nice today, 170 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 3: So like in that. 171 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 2: Way, But I think that's just like a siblings thing. 172 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes, like these kids are smart. They there are 173 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: times where Ocean will say something to me and I 174 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: know the difference between this is a genuine uh, this 175 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 1: is a genuine comment, or you're trying to hustle me 176 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: for the ice cream in the fridge. 177 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 2: They know, they know. 178 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: I don't know when. I don't know if it's always 179 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: been this way, but kids are so freaking smart now. 180 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 2: So smart, and I'm like, where did you learn this? 181 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: Right? Yeah, my daughter is uh doing kissy faces and 182 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: hearthands and I'm like, oh, what the fuck is this? 183 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 1: And there are people that are like, it's her mom, 184 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: and I go, I haven't done a kissy face since 185 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: I was twenty two. 186 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 2: I do it every day. So my daughter always is 187 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: like and I'm like, nope, that's me, definitely me. 188 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: So you think maybe the kissy face was just inherited yeah, 189 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,079 Speaker 1: because you know we all love to kissy face. Back 190 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,079 Speaker 1: in the day in. 191 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 2: High school, you couldn't tell me anything. Now I'm doing 192 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 2: it again. I'm doing peace signs are. 193 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: Back, the peace sign and kissy face and heart hands. 194 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 1: I'm like maybe Taylor Swift. I don't know what kind 195 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: of music do your kids like? Like what artists post alone? 196 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're big Posty, Jelly Rowl, Morgan Wallin. 197 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 3: My second son's big into rap. But I couldn't name 198 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 3: a rap song to save my life. 199 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 2: Really no, I can't. I mean I used to listen 200 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 2: to it, but times had changed. 201 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: I mean, I isn't good anymore. Yeah, what is like? 202 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 2: Is Drake still around? 203 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: Drake kind of got buried by Kendrick Lamore, Okay, Yeah, 204 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: I think he's trying to just like re establish who 205 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 1: he is. I mean I still fuck with Drake pretty hard. 206 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: But you know, my four year old is very into 207 00:09:56,040 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: like TLC and Love. She loves no Scrubs. She's very 208 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: into Dream. I don't know if you remember dream. Of course, 209 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: he loves you, not you, though, I'm not sure it's 210 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: the healthiest of music that I'm subjecting. 211 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 3: What they're singing. Why do you let them listen to this. 212 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 3: My four year old also sings no scrubs. He'll literally 213 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 3: ask for it. And I just am thinking, I did 214 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 3: not know what I was singing back then, so they 215 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 3: don't know what they're singing. 216 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 1: They have no idea. 217 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,079 Speaker 2: Let that be the trauma. 218 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 1: Let that the trauma is my mom. Let me listen 219 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: to TLC too young. 220 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:33,840 Speaker 2: It's fine. 221 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: I can think of worse things. Yo, yeah, says what 222 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: do you have planned in case? Okay, this is dark, 223 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: but I'm asking you, Okay, what do you have planned 224 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: in case you pass away unexpectedly? Oh? 225 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,559 Speaker 3: I talk about this all the time. I do not 226 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 3: want to live past sixty five. Okay, my kids know this. 227 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 3: This is a common conversation in the household. I have 228 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 3: a living will. All of my kids get a million 229 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,439 Speaker 3: dollars each. I have a whole estate plan that I've 230 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 3: been working on. Well, it's been done for a long time, 231 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 3: but I've had it. I've had it for a really 232 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 3: long time. So no worries. 233 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: And they go to their dads. Oh if they're like 234 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,439 Speaker 1: not eighteen, yeah they're not eighteen. 235 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. All of them go to their dads, except for 236 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 2: to go to go to my cousin. 237 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:29,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, the ninety ten, right, I'm sorry, is that rude? 238 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna call him the ninety ten, the ninety ten. 239 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm changing his contact to my phone ninety ten. 240 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 1: I mean, it's such I feel like, and I don't 241 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,719 Speaker 1: know if this is just like a generational thing, Like 242 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: my mother doesn't even have like a will or an 243 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 1: estate plan, not that we need it because we're grown 244 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: adults now her kids, but like even just things going 245 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,719 Speaker 1: into probate, Whereas like I've got all my shit lined up, 246 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: like I got ducks in a row. 247 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 3: One thousand, and I update mine pretty regularly because I 248 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,560 Speaker 3: just get like, as circumstances. 249 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: You just have more kids, so you have to. 250 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,560 Speaker 3: I have to, like, well that was one of them, 251 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 3: like the life insurance and stuff like that. It's like, oh, 252 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 3: I got to make sure that everyone gets an equal amount, 253 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 3: and then I got to figure that out because who's 254 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 3: going to get the house, and then like you know, 255 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 3: I got to figure. 256 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 2: It all out. 257 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, we don't. 258 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 3: Actually, like the fucked up part is that we live 259 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 3: under unique circumstances, and so I don't if something happens 260 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 3: to me, I don't want to throw them to the 261 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 3: wolves and say, like, you got to figure this out. 262 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 3: So I got us here, so I kind of have 263 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,719 Speaker 3: to figure out what happens if I'm gone, Like I 264 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 3: don't want them to have to like go bankrupt or 265 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 3: like have to pay bills that they don't have money. 266 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,199 Speaker 2: Like, I don't know. It's just a weird. It's such 267 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 2: a weird place to be to. 268 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 1: Think about you dead, yes, and yeah, fucking crazy and 269 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 1: so dark when you're going through that entire situation of 270 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,679 Speaker 1: like if you die, what do you want to have 271 00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: happened to this? I cried most of those conversations. 272 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard because you really have to put yourself 273 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 3: in that space. 274 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my god, Kelsey underscore skinner, how do you 275 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: stay calm uh with a toddler? She's struggling and feels 276 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: very guilty. 277 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 3: Okay, So one of the things one of my kids has, 278 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 3: it's called p C. It it's like parent let therapy 279 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 3: where parents go with the child and we are trying 280 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 3: to tackle like those big emotions. And she was telling 281 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 3: me that when a child is having like a meltdown 282 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 3: or something, you sort of have to not ignore it, 283 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 3: but you do have to wait until they calm down 284 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 3: to have those conversations with the child, because just like 285 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 3: an adult, you cannot talk to someone who's in this 286 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 3: like emotionally charged space. 287 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,440 Speaker 2: You have to wait until they calm down. 288 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 3: There's a name for it, and it's called, Oh, it's 289 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 3: called effective ignoring. So you redirect one time and then 290 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,079 Speaker 3: you have to ignore everything else after that. You don't 291 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 3: want to feed into the tantrum or the meltdown. With 292 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,679 Speaker 3: the negotiations, you tell them one or two times and 293 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 3: wait to they calm down, and then have the conversation 294 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,439 Speaker 3: redirect or something after they're already calm. 295 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 1: Okay, oh I love that, and that is extremely helpful. 296 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just think about it. 297 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 3: You're gonna you're telling your child who's probably having a meltdown, like, oh, 298 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,719 Speaker 3: if you keep doing this, I'm gonna call dad. 299 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 2: If you keep doing this, I'm gonna do this. If 300 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,719 Speaker 2: you keep doing this, it's not help. 301 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 3: They're not processing their own feelings that they're currently having, 302 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 3: let alone the consequence of whatever is happening. 303 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: Okay, Oh I love this. 304 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. She it's called I think it's called pc pc it, 305 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 2: which is like parent led therapy. 306 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 1: That's why very helpful. Look at you. I'm gonna look 307 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 1: this up. Uh Vic underscore on ninety four. How does 308 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: slash did she deal with toxic co parenting? 309 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 2: This is a gray Rock method. 310 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 3: Gray Rock method, you literally cannot engage with any behaviors, 311 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 3: any comments, conversations except for when it has to do 312 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 3: with the kids. Also, there's apps that you can talk 313 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 3: to your co parents through. 314 00:14:56,160 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 1: We have I'm in ofw bitch I use. 315 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 2: Talking parents, Talking parents. 316 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 1: That's what he uses for his other baby mama. 317 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's familiar, it sucks, but like, and it's hard, 318 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 3: it's so frickin' hard. 319 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 2: But you literally can't respond to anything outside of kids. 320 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, gray rocking is really hard for me. I show 321 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 1: all my cards very quickly, Like I show I'm like 322 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 1: the threatener. I'm like, listen, motherfucker, you do this, this 323 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: is gonna happen. And then I'm not prepared to actually 324 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: make that happen. 325 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 3: No, never, we never are, and so they're just like 326 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 3: empty threats. That's the only thing that like, that's the 327 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 3: only thing I can think of gray Rock. 328 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 1: You know what, though, that's so helpful, Like you said, 329 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: if you can just look at a text and ignore 330 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: every single thing except for the details that have to 331 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: do with the kid, and it has to be productive, 332 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: right what like because they can they'll learn they know 333 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 1: what triggers you, and they'll pocket that and bring those 334 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: things up just to get you to engage. 335 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 2: One thousand percent. 336 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 3: And the other thing is email too, Like if texting 337 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 3: doesn't work, do email, because you're if you don't have 338 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 3: your notifications on. If you're communicating via email only you 339 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 3: it sort of creates a pause in between each reaction 340 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 3: and so you kind of have a minute to like 341 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 3: decompress for a second, or maybe you forget about it, 342 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 3: where like a text message is in your face. So 343 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 3: I feel like it's a little bit power in the 344 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 3: pause sort of deal. 345 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 1: There is power in the pause. And I always love 346 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: to go to the note section and purge all of 347 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 1: your feelings, go back, ad rewrite, and by the time 348 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: you're finished and you've got the perfect response, you're over it. 349 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 2: You're like, you don't even want to send it. 350 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: Half the time you're like, I never want to see 351 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: this again. 352 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 3: But it takes a long I don't want to discredit 353 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 3: the period that it takes to get to that point 354 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 3: is sort of hard, because yeah, you just got to 355 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 3: you got to be in the right mindset to even 356 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 3: be at that place. 357 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: Well, and we're not talking about like little drama. We're 358 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 1: talking about you discussing your child. Like that's the rawest 359 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: emotion anyone can have, is when you're discussing your baby children. 360 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, agreed, Jess. 361 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 1: Dot Barrett Bio. Dad isn't very involved and lives six 362 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 1: hours away. My son misses him, Slash asks for him. 363 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 1: Do you ever deal with that? 364 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 2: No, my kids have never asked for their dads. 365 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, same, I've asked. 366 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 2: I asked for my dad growing up. 367 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 3: But I think when there was a period of no contact, 368 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,600 Speaker 3: you know, around the time Lux was born, my therapist 369 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 3: told me to write everything down and so you know, 370 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 3: if the relationship was the same by the time you know, 371 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 3: Lux turned eighteen or whatever, I had detailed explanations and 372 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 3: writing for those with those time stamps on it, and 373 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 3: so my child could understand where my head was at 374 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,199 Speaker 3: during that time or what was going on. And so 375 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,399 Speaker 3: that's sort of a way too, because I think so 376 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 3: often you hear like, oh, you know, my my baby 377 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 3: mama kept me away from the child, or you know, 378 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 3: they never never text. But it's like, here's like a 379 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 3: stack of letters that I wrote to you your whole 380 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,360 Speaker 3: life about where my head was, where you know, what 381 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,399 Speaker 3: was going on during that time. And obviously we know 382 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 3: that you know, anyone can fabricate. But I think that 383 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 3: if you're going to put the effort into doing something 384 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,120 Speaker 3: like that for your child because of the dad, you're 385 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,160 Speaker 3: probably not going to fabricate, you know what I mean, 386 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 3: Like they're going to put the effort where it needs 387 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 3: to be, right. 388 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: I don't even know how I would deal with with 389 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: a child being like I want to see my dad 390 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 1: and they live far away. That sounds like a complex 391 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,159 Speaker 1: one that I wish I could help with. But I 392 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 1: don't think I'm going to give you any good advice. 393 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: You gave great advice. Kil Rooftop Underscore News TV. I 394 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 1: caught my kids smoking weed. 395 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what to say about that one. 396 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 2: I'm not there yet. But I smoked a lot of 397 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 2: weed as a teenager. 398 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,639 Speaker 1: So you were a little pothead. 399 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 2: Oh big pothead, big pothead? 400 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:56,160 Speaker 1: Oh god? And you know I no one could tell 401 00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 1: you shit, no, no, we're up in these stret's smoke 402 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: in your jas. I smoked like a fucking it was 403 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,120 Speaker 1: when I moved to LA I was into the edibles. 404 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,920 Speaker 2: Oh okay, so fun. 405 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: I wish I could. I'm not I'm not at that 406 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 1: point either. Obviously. My four year old's not like, hey, mom, 407 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: I'd love to smoke a joint with you, but like 408 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 1: it does freak me the fuck out. 409 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,439 Speaker 3: I don't even know what I would say, Like, I 410 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:28,200 Speaker 3: don't know what I if. My he's so anti like vapes, 411 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 3: anti smoking, anti god. 412 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 1: He's like a dream child. 413 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,639 Speaker 3: Truly, I mean, knock on wood, he truly is like 414 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:36,920 Speaker 3: I have had no issues. 415 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 1: When someone says the word vape, I start to feeding, 416 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 1: I'm like, where what huh? All come over six hours 417 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: to get to a vape? Sure? I don't give one fuck, 418 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 1: no no problem, all right. The last one I have 419 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: for you is my This is from Shannon Evans. My 420 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: daughter started cussing lately and she won't stop. She's ten, 421 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: she will she will lip it too. 422 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 2: What the F I mean, I'm gonna get canceled for this. 423 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 3: But kids cussing is my favorite thing. 424 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,679 Speaker 1: I mean, I remember my lawyer said to me, he 425 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: was like, here's the thing about kids cussing. I tell 426 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 1: my kids, you can't cuss out in the regular world. 427 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 1: Right when you're at home, as long as you're using 428 00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 1: the cuss word correctly, have a fucking heyday. I don't 429 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 1: give a shit. 430 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 3: I said that on my podcast. The problem is because 431 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 3: I did that with my kids. It backfired like all 432 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,679 Speaker 3: it was was cussing, Like it was just straight cussing 433 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 3: all the time. 434 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 2: So I was like, we got to steel back. 435 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 1: And so when you have seven kids and you allow 436 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 1: them all to cuss, it's one giant bleep. 437 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,200 Speaker 2: Right. My two year old this morning said, oh shit, 438 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 2: So I. 439 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,639 Speaker 1: Was like that, No, but at that age, it's so 440 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:55,560 Speaker 1: they don't know. 441 00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:02,119 Speaker 3: They don't and I can't like same notes from pcit 442 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 3: do not acknowledge what I don't approve, repeat back what 443 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 3: I do. 444 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 2: So she said, ignore when they cuss. 445 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: Okay, good to know. 446 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,160 Speaker 2: I laugh and I have to look the other way. 447 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny, especially at that age. I remember the 448 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 1: first time my daughter called me a stupid bitch, which 449 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: obviously she had heard somewhere. 450 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 2: But also it was in the right context. 451 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: Some and I was being a stupid bitch, so I just. 452 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 2: Meant like she used it properly. 453 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,119 Speaker 1: She wanted the hot tip heated now, and I refused, 454 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, stupid bitch, and I was like, I've never 455 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: been so hurt. Cal I hurt me. 456 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm laughing at your pain. 457 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: No, it's fine, but it's kind of like similar to 458 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 1: the first time she told me she hated me, And 459 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 1: now if she says it, I'm like, you'll get over it. 460 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 2: Like yeah, you'll move on, it'll be right now. 461 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,360 Speaker 1: She's four. If she hears a cussword, she disciplines all 462 00:21:59,359 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 1: of us. 463 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,920 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like a like a jar. 464 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,160 Speaker 1: Yes, And it's like, you will not say that, Gigi. 465 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,439 Speaker 1: My mom will wash your mouth out with soap. That 466 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 1: is terrible what you just said. So she's now, but 467 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 1: I know that it's going to roll back around again, 468 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,159 Speaker 1: like this woman has a ten year old who's cussing unfortunately, 469 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: like they're exposed to school TikTok all the things I 470 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 1: think you just say, like you know what, when you're 471 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,879 Speaker 1: like at a restaurant or at school, try not to 472 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 1: cuss when you're here with your friends, Like I don't 473 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,720 Speaker 1: really care. It's not hurting anybody. I feel when you 474 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,199 Speaker 1: when you bring down a heavy hammer. Kids want to rebel, 475 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 1: rebeil oh, rebel, rebel. 476 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,520 Speaker 3: No one thousand percent. I feel like like desensitizing them 477 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,359 Speaker 3: to it a little bit. That was my whole theory. 478 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 3: Like I said it back, I think it's different with 479 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,439 Speaker 3: boys too, because they'll just keep pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing it. Right, 480 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,840 Speaker 3: girls test in a different way. So I definitely backfired 481 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 3: on me, But yeah, I agree, like, just don't acknowledge 482 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 3: it and then they're like, oh, I didn't get the reaction. 483 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 1: I wanted exactly. And I think you, like, your kids 484 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,120 Speaker 1: are gonna grow up knowing that, like you're a cool bitch, right, 485 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 1: Like I hope so they will. They're gonna they're not 486 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:14,159 Speaker 1: gonna feel judgment from you because you had your mistakes 487 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:18,479 Speaker 1: mistakes on a public forum, you know, kind of like 488 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: when people ask me, are you nervous for your kids 489 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,200 Speaker 1: to watch you on vander Pump Rules, Not at all. 490 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 1: I want my kids to see that like mom got 491 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 1: a little too drunk and took her top off in 492 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: front of like a bunch of people, Like I've seen 493 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: some shit. I'm gonna give you a roadmap on how 494 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,719 Speaker 1: to not embarrass the hell out of yourself, and if 495 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 1: you choose to still do it, just know I'll love 496 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: you there's no judgment here. And if you choose to 497 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 1: look at me and say I want to be nothing 498 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 1: like my mother, like great, I've done my job. 499 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,919 Speaker 3: I think that that is sort of the fact that 500 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 3: I had on my oldest like he wants to. He 501 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,600 Speaker 3: knows that I've already fucked up enough for everybody, so 502 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,479 Speaker 3: he sort of is like, Mom's gonna think Mom will 503 00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:58,919 Speaker 3: get through this. 504 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,080 Speaker 2: I'm gonna call my mom. It'll be fine. She's got 505 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 2: to judge me, And so that's kind of the nice 506 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 2: flip side of it. 507 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 1: All right, there's always a silver lining, and I'm here 508 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 1: to find it with you, guys. Cal I really had 509 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: the best time with you. You are so freaking easy 510 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 1: to talk to. 511 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you 512 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:16,400 Speaker 2: for having me. 513 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,959 Speaker 1: I it was a pleasure you guys. Thank you for 514 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 1: listening to another bonus episode of the Give Them a 515 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,000 Speaker 1: La Podcast. We will catch you next Monday and on 516 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,080 Speaker 1: Wednesday for a regular old episode. Bye.