Speaker 1: I invited you here, I thought, a man myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 2: When you're a.
Speaker 1: Guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty.
Speaker 2: And I said, no.
Speaker 1: Guess your presences presence and I already had too much stuff.
Speaker 3: So how do you dare to surbey me?
Speaker 2: Before the podcast begins, a reminder that Chicago Live show
Speaker 2: is coming up at the Den Theater May twenty third.
Speaker 2: You have to be there. If you're in Chicago or not,
Speaker 2: you have to to be there. That's just simply what
Speaker 2: you have to do. So google it, go to our Instagram,
Speaker 2: look in the show notes, you know, look around the
Speaker 2: internet for the tickets. And we're going to have a
Speaker 2: fantastic time. We'll have special guests. I'll be wearing who
Speaker 2: God knows what, and you know, maybe I'll bring some
Speaker 2: gifts I've received on the podcast to give away. You
Speaker 2: really never know what will happen with me because I
Speaker 2: am I don't have a lot of control over my life,
Speaker 2: and you'll get to experience that live. So the Den Theater,
Speaker 2: May twenty third, seven thirty pm. No excuses. Now, let's
Speaker 2: get into the show. Welcome to I said, no gifts.
Speaker 2: I'm Bridger Weineger we're here in the studio. You might
Speaker 2: be listening, you might be watching on YouTube. You might
Speaker 2: be ignoring all of this completely. God only knows what's
Speaker 2: happening in my life. Busy Morning threw away the case
Speaker 2: idea that had been sitting in the fridge for about
Speaker 2: six days. So if you wanted that, you're out of luck.
Speaker 2: I'm on edge. I've been trying to book travel through
Speaker 2: credit card points for at least four days, and this
Speaker 2: is a real sore spot for me, a very difficult
Speaker 2: thing for me. Anytime I'm on an online portal spending
Speaker 2: any anything involving money, let alone credit card points, I'm paralyzed.
Speaker 2: So everybody, just nobody try me. That's what I'll say.
Speaker 2: Don't push me. Okay, Time to get into the podcast.
Speaker 2: I adore today's guest. Everybody loves her. It's Edie Patterson.
Speaker 1: Edie.
Speaker 2: Oh, hi Bridgard, welcome to I said no gifts.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry to bring you here on such please usful
Speaker 2: day for me.
Speaker 3: Oh, well, me too. I'm with you though on that,
Speaker 3: like trying to get something with points.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's existential, it is. It's a weird thing for
Speaker 2: me because I'm the sort of person who uses, like
Speaker 2: treats gift cards like they're more important than cash. Oh,
Speaker 2: I like I if I get a gift card, the
Speaker 2: way I protect it on how I'm going to spend
Speaker 2: it is psychotics.
Speaker 3: Same same. I've actually had I know what you mean now,
Speaker 3: because I actually have had ones like that. I've put
Speaker 3: in places like in a little holder on my desk,
Speaker 3: where I've tacked them to some sort of bulletin board
Speaker 3: to go, well, that one's for something special, and then
Speaker 3: they run out.
Speaker 2: They run out, yeah, or inflation goes up and they
Speaker 2: lose value. It's really it's like an obvious mistake I'm making.
Speaker 2: And I'm sure these these gift card companies especially really
Speaker 2: count on people like me to not use the money. Agreed.
Speaker 2: I honestly like there was a point I had saved
Speaker 2: up enough gift cards that I probably could have bought
Speaker 2: a house at least put But this is the sort
Speaker 2: of I'm just completely paralyzed. It's gonna be like, this
Speaker 2: is gonna be my special thing. I won't spend that
Speaker 2: on groceries.
Speaker 3: Right, And then you go, why wouldn't I?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the same. It's all money yep. But I'm
Speaker 2: looking to treat myself. But the problem is is I'm
Speaker 2: I can't treat myself in any form ever, so that
Speaker 2: I'm just the gift card is sitting at the bottom
Speaker 2: of my sock drawer for the rest of my life. Yep.
Speaker 2: And now the same with the credit card points. But
Speaker 2: then they have the online portal, which is like something
Speaker 2: that hasn't been updated since two thousand and five. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's frustrating.
Speaker 3: You're mad, seriously horrible. It's horrible. And I still haven't
Speaker 3: figured out how to do the airline ones. Oh I
Speaker 3: can do hotel ones, right, but I still haven't figured
Speaker 3: out the other and that's infuriating.
Speaker 2: And I've been told that. I've been told the airline
Speaker 2: ones are it's trickier because airline prices are they fluctuate
Speaker 2: so much more. And the points, I mean, people love this,
Speaker 2: people love to listen anyway, credit card pot But I'm
Speaker 2: making my way through and I'm aging rapidly while I
Speaker 2: do it. I get it. Have you traveled it all recently?
Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah, I went to Texas and came back here
Speaker 3: from Texas.
Speaker 2: Okay, And you're from Texas.
Speaker 3: I'm from there, and my mom was there for a
Speaker 3: minute and went and got her okay, and her cat
Speaker 3: and we came here. That was probably a month ago.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's the cat's name, Miss Press, I love. Are
Speaker 2: you a cat person? Yes? Okay? Do you have cats
Speaker 2: of your own?
Speaker 3: I used to. My husband and I had the greatest
Speaker 3: cats on earth, Vruka and Violet.
Speaker 2: Oh, fantastic name.
Speaker 3: And they have both since passed, but they're the greatest.
Speaker 3: And Miss Priss is my mom's cat, who was a
Speaker 3: full on feral Texas cat and for whatever reason and
Speaker 3: just always loved my mom and would let my mom
Speaker 3: pet her in the backyard. And then my sister and
Speaker 3: I just decided this cat is really cute and she's
Speaker 3: going to be your cat. Oh and she is. And
Speaker 3: now she's fully an inside cat, and she is weirdly small.
Speaker 3: She's maybe some kind of mini okay, but she looks
Speaker 3: like a Disney cat. Seriously. She fluffy, she's fluffy, she's little,
Speaker 3: she's she's hilarious. But yeah, do you like cats?
Speaker 2: I love cats.
Speaker 3: I think they're magic.
Speaker 2: Oh, they're fantastic. When people don't like cats, I think
Speaker 2: it says something about how much attention and love you need.
Speaker 2: If or I guess attention if you don't like cats,
Speaker 2: because cats will are very selective. Yeah, and I love
Speaker 2: dogs too, but dogs will give their full attention to
Speaker 2: just about any fucking yahoo. They're not super discerning.
Speaker 3: Yes, and a cat you kind of have to like
Speaker 3: figure out their magic, figure out their lay and like, Yeah,
Speaker 3: they're mystical and awesome and I love them.
Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, I had two cats a year I guess
Speaker 2: about ten years ago, and then threw all the moving
Speaker 2: back and forth from LA to New York. We ended
Speaker 2: up having to find a new home for them, and
Speaker 2: they now live with a YouTube magician.
Speaker 3: Oh how's that going.
Speaker 2: I haven't looked into it. I think it seemed like
Speaker 2: a lovely home. It seemed like a family and a
Speaker 2: teen YouTube magician. I thought, you know what, sure, this
Speaker 2: don't work. They seem like they love cats. But maybe
Speaker 2: my cats will become YouTube stars. I don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, let's just hope that he is it a boy magician.
Speaker 2: It's a boy magician.
Speaker 3: Let's just hope he's not like doing them like doves.
Speaker 3: Oh you know what I mean, we're not trying to
Speaker 3: get any of that magic for your cats.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like crushed in the bottom of a top
Speaker 2: hat or that kind of thing. No, thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, somebody did doves once when I got invited to
Speaker 3: the Magic Castle, and it was just so upsetting.
Speaker 2: What like what did they do? They come out of
Speaker 2: a jacket or do they.
Speaker 3: Yeah, out of a jacket, out of their pants, out
Speaker 3: of like it's just like every single second of it.
Speaker 3: You're just like you just had a live creature jammed
Speaker 3: in there with your balls, or like you, oh cool,
Speaker 3: you just pulled nine doves out of a hat. Oh,
Speaker 3: Like what are we supposed to be stoked at?
Speaker 2: Right? There's just there are so many magic tricks you
Speaker 2: could do. Yeah, No one's like specifically like I hope
Speaker 2: I see the doves tonight, No, no one. No one
Speaker 2: wants to see a live bird anywhere, just free flying
Speaker 2: around inside.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do some weird human stuff, like you're you're weird
Speaker 3: woman assistant, Like, why don't you guys chop each other up.
Speaker 2: Cut each other. Let's see the midsection of one of you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's see the rings of your tree, bitch.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean I think if I were like going
Speaker 2: to a magic show and expected to see an animal,
Speaker 2: I might be like, oh I got to see a rabbit.
Speaker 2: But even then, it's like, just leave it alone because
Speaker 2: you know it's not their pet. Yeah, they're not.
Speaker 3: Treating that's their their working animal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, their little employee. That's not fair to anybody. No,
Speaker 2: no thanks. I uh just last night, out of desperation,
Speaker 2: tried to start this new David Blaine series. Have you
Speaker 2: seen this?
Speaker 3: I just was flipping through with my mom last night
Speaker 3: at Cedar Sini and the TV is totally blue, okay,
Speaker 3: because it's something's Wronger. Then we were on the guide
Speaker 3: and we ended up on just something else done, maybe
Speaker 3: like a murder show or something. But I saw that
Speaker 3: David Blaine thing, and I was like, he has a
Speaker 3: new show, He's got.
Speaker 2: A whole news Well is this documentary style in uh
Speaker 2: conjunction with National geographic which was shocking to me. I
Speaker 2: don't know if he's elevated or they declined. I don't
Speaker 2: know they met somewhere in the middle. But last night
Speaker 2: he was in Brazil and what what we were seeing
Speaker 2: was people not doing magic tricks, which shouldn't be that
Speaker 2: big of a shock because he like holds his breath
Speaker 2: or whatever. But this was like people sticking like a
Speaker 2: knife in their nose through their nostril, which is a
Speaker 2: hard thing to look at. Yeah, people chewing up and
Speaker 2: swallowing nails. Oh boy, that old trump. It's either doves
Speaker 2: or swallowing nails.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but don't swallow nails around me unless you're gonna
Speaker 3: poop them out on the sidewalk.
Speaker 2: Then that might be interesting. I better hear metal hitting
Speaker 2: cement as you walk away, exactly. No, is that we
Speaker 2: didn't watch the whole thing because it was just kind
Speaker 2: of a difficult to look at sort of thing. Just
Speaker 2: people doing shocking. It's more dares. Oh got it? Dares
Speaker 2: to me or not? I don't Know's not as much fun.
Speaker 3: I need to be tricked, agreed, Because on a dare,
Speaker 3: the whole time you would be thinking like, oh, this
Speaker 3: person just got dared to do this. They're gonna get hurt.
Speaker 2: Yes, there's just a risk here, and someone is desperate
Speaker 2: for attention and they'll they finally decided they'll do whatever
Speaker 2: it takes. Yeah, so I maybe I need to give
Speaker 2: it more of a shot. I will say. David Blaine
Speaker 2: is a narrator tough, Okay, I don't know that he
Speaker 2: was born to narrate television. It is the most monotone
Speaker 2: thing I ever ever heard. It's a zero inflection whatsoever.
Speaker 2: It's just wow.
Speaker 3: And is it partly trying to be like super serious,
Speaker 3: like I think, you know, let's take anything like this
Speaker 3: because I want you to know it's fact.
Speaker 2: But it's not even that as much as like, I
Speaker 2: think it's that an attempt at that but not having
Speaker 2: the ability to even do that, So it's just flat.
Speaker 2: Oh feels like he's reading for the first time the
Speaker 2: narration and I know he wants to keep control of
Speaker 2: the show, but like, come on, I'm on, Dave, come on, dB,
Speaker 2: come on baby. Oh when was last time you were
Speaker 2: at the Magic Castle.
Speaker 3: It's been a long time. That was probably. Oh you
Speaker 3: know what, we actually had a friend doing really cool
Speaker 3: stuff there. I'm like, what brought me there? Yeah, my
Speaker 3: husband and I went with my friend Jeremy Rally and
Speaker 3: his wife Danny Morrow, and we were going to see
Speaker 3: our friend Helder, who's like a legit amazing.
Speaker 2: Great name for a magician.
Speaker 3: Yeah, held, Yeah, he does these really cool, like really
Speaker 3: elevated kind of social experiment, thought experiment magic shows. He'll
Speaker 3: do him at the Geffen and like, and so what
Speaker 3: is he doing He's like, man, it's almost like a
Speaker 3: play but with magic in it. At the Magic Castle,
Speaker 3: I think he was doing a close oh card stuff. Right,
Speaker 3: But like the shows that we've seen at the Geffen
Speaker 3: and stuff, I mean they're super emotional, like manipulative. Well no,
Speaker 3: weirdly yeah, just like he's like, it's very honestly elevated.
Speaker 3: It's almost like you're watching a like the PBS version
Speaker 3: of like when people find their roots.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Yeah, he manages to weave in some like
Speaker 3: really cool complex human stuff.
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, and you're friends with this guy? Yeah wow,
Speaker 2: good for you. How did you become friends with Helder?
Speaker 3: You know? I think I became friends with him because
Speaker 3: he just started coming to I think he was friends
Speaker 3: with Jeremy and he started coming to improv shows at
Speaker 3: the Groundlings.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, and saw the sort of.
Speaker 3: The tie ins with what he's doing and sort of
Speaker 3: I'm a nerd for improv, sure, and he's of was
Speaker 3: very fascinated and interested in the kind of higher thinking
Speaker 3: that can go with improv, right, sort of openness and
Speaker 3: how it can you know, translate into real life.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And do you feel like he's putting that into his
Speaker 2: show now for sure.
Speaker 3: I mean he's he's very bright.
Speaker 2: Huh. I need to I need to get into Helder seriously. Yeah.
Speaker 3: His I think I'm saying his last name right, but
Speaker 3: I think it's Guena modish.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is that?
Speaker 3: I would say Argentinian?
Speaker 2: Okay, just like a rolled something there. Yeah, Helder to
Speaker 2: me sounded so Scandinavian. Uh No, okay, no saying Helder Helder.
Speaker 3: I think I think this is how you say it.
Speaker 3: It's either Guina modis or Guina modas. I don't know.
Speaker 2: He's the reason he goes by Helder just nice. Everybody
Speaker 2: can say Helder.
Speaker 3: Just to maybe like white creeps. There's a reason everyone
Speaker 3: else is probably fine with it and knows exactly how
Speaker 3: to say his last name.
Speaker 2: In middle school, I think a magic shop opened to
Speaker 2: normal and I bought. I felt like I was going
Speaker 2: to try to do magic for about a month. Okay, workout.
Speaker 2: Did you do anything like that in middle school? Any
Speaker 2: weird little hobbies? You know?
Speaker 3: I just that vein of things. I think probably I
Speaker 3: just gravitated more towards like the sort of sketch.
Speaker 2: Oh, so you like comedy early on? Yeah, I always
Speaker 2: liked it right right. Yeah, Yeah, to me in middle school,
Speaker 2: it just didn't seem like a possibility whatsoever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it didn't really to me either. And then in
Speaker 3: middle school, actually, these three friends and I wrote this.
Speaker 3: There was a talent show at school and we wrote
Speaker 3: this dating game parody. Oh no way, because on the
Speaker 3: we didn't have cable at my house, but on the
Speaker 3: regular channels there were a couple of them that had
Speaker 3: constant reruns, and so they'd have like Brady.
Speaker 2: Bunch, right, love Boat and.
Speaker 3: Like Green Anchors, like all that cool stuff, Petticoat Junction,
Speaker 3: and within that mix there was like a chunk of
Speaker 3: like sixties game shows.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, which was awesome dream.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so we always thought that was so funny,
Speaker 3: the weird dynamic with the people on it, and like
Speaker 3: how weirdly sexist it was. And like they're always talking
Speaker 3: about making whoopee, which we were like.
Speaker 2: Making who is one of the worst things that anyone
Speaker 2: that's ever thought.
Speaker 3: That's the worst God, that's.
Speaker 2: One of those like things that's trying not to be
Speaker 2: as crass, and it sometow ends up being way more
Speaker 2: disgusting than the actual term. Fully, like, oh, we're all
Speaker 2: sick hearing that, Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's sick.
Speaker 2: What does it mean?
Speaker 3: What does it mean to you?
Speaker 2: It's just like to me, like there's like an inflation.
Speaker 2: It was like something puffy.
Speaker 3: And something puffy and inflated, that's gonna pop exactly, and like,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, it's it's like a fake fun It's like
Speaker 3: oh whoopee's And.
Speaker 2: It brings yeah, it kind of brings like an adolescent
Speaker 2: weirdness to it. Like everything about it is just like
Speaker 2: this is should not be repeated anymore totally.
Speaker 3: But we've we've got many aspects of the you know,
Speaker 3: the dating game were really really funny, and so we
Speaker 3: did a dating game sketch where three of us were
Speaker 3: the guys and one was a football what was like
Speaker 3: a football jock, one was a businessman, and I was
Speaker 3: the nerd. And it was of that time period where
Speaker 3: like it was full on like idea of a nerd.
Speaker 3: So I had a pocket protector and like black glasses,
Speaker 3: right pre and cell yes, pre in cell.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: God, being a nerd now would be a whole other thing.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it brings off so much dangerous baggage
Speaker 2: totally does. Nerds have had a real journey over the
Speaker 2: last twenty years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, take us back to pargettular.
Speaker 2: That's all we want to quiet and do math.
Speaker 3: But yeah, we wrote it and we performed it, and
Speaker 3: I remember just that feeling because look, let me just
Speaker 3: tell you not to brag, but the nerd got a
Speaker 3: lot of lass, just and going, oh, maybe this is
Speaker 3: a thing that could be my job. That was the
Speaker 3: first time ever that I thought, especially from a small
Speaker 3: city and.
Speaker 2: Of course completely anyone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, where'd you grow up?
Speaker 2: Right outside of Salt Lake City?
Speaker 3: So it's just like, you don't know anyone doing anything
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 2: People on TV do totally why would I be able
Speaker 2: to do that? Right?
Speaker 3: And no one around, you know, thinks that it's a thing.
Speaker 2: The idea of even going to college out of state
Speaker 2: was like, no, totally, that's not for people like me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, same, So yeah, but yeah, that's that's I guess
Speaker 3: when it sort of popped off. But probably even before that,
Speaker 3: I was trying to make in the mix with me
Speaker 3: loving comedy and loving hilarious things. I also loved horror,
Speaker 3: and we were My dad loved horror, and we were
Speaker 3: allowed to watch horror movies way too young. My sister
Speaker 3: and I so we're both still we both still love.
Speaker 2: It due horror movies. Horror movie I think.
Speaker 3: Probably favorite of all time is The Shining Oh, of course,
Speaker 3: so beautiful, kind of.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's kind of like almost above horror
Speaker 2: even so good. It's just such a good one and
Speaker 2: it's so scary. Yes, just a fantastic And you would
Speaker 2: make your own horror movies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd make them in in VHS camera and would
Speaker 3: just like sort of it would be all one taken
Speaker 3: of cause start again and put some the year pause
Speaker 3: started again. But I liked making little mini slasher movies.
Speaker 2: Do you have any still on VHS?
Speaker 3: Yeah, somewhere somewhere at my mom's house.
Speaker 2: Nights of the Hunter.
Speaker 3: There's Gunthers on a Hunter. Somewhere, there's a there's one
Speaker 3: I made in high school. My friend, my friend in
Speaker 3: high school, Sherry, her her mom and dad sometimes would
Speaker 3: just go do cool things, and every now and then
Speaker 3: it'd be like, you know, six or seven of us
Speaker 3: just spending the night at Sherry's with no Yeah, and
Speaker 3: so there were more than a couple of times where
Speaker 3: I would force everyone to be in a horror movie
Speaker 3: all night, and I'd be you know, placing them at
Speaker 3: the end of the stairs, the bottom of the stairs
Speaker 3: like they just you know, we'd film like my friend
Speaker 3: Holly sort of a hand pushing her at the top
Speaker 3: of the stairs, pause the camera, fill her at the
Speaker 3: bottom like displaye.
Speaker 2: You know, so they were all slasher stuff. Of course
Speaker 2: we're using Were you making up your own fake blood?
Speaker 2: Was it ketchup?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: You know what?
Speaker 2: We we only messed with blood.
Speaker 3: I feel like once maybe when I made like my
Speaker 3: I think then four year old cousin Bradley, he was Gunther,
Speaker 3: son of Hunter, and he was a murderer, and I
Speaker 3: think in that one we played with like some ketchup
Speaker 3: and stuff.
Speaker 2: What was the storyline? What did you say? It was
Speaker 2: Night of the Hunter? Yeah, which is actually which is
Speaker 2: actually kind of creepy. No, yeah, wow, So you were
Speaker 2: really you're a born natural.
Speaker 3: I must have heard someone say that.
Speaker 2: It's such a good phrase, night of the Hunters.
Speaker 3: It sounds so scary.
Speaker 2: What was your Night of the Hunter then?
Speaker 3: Just like some money going around and killing people. So,
Speaker 3: you know, probably my sister in my dad's clothes, killing
Speaker 3: our neighbor friends, a.
Speaker 2: Little girl in baggy clothes.
Speaker 3: Yes, Gunther though had extra special elements. That one was
Speaker 3: filmed at my grandmom's house in Range, Texas, and for
Speaker 3: a while my grandmom collected. She was very into collecting
Speaker 3: teddy bears. Oh sure, So there were sort of like
Speaker 3: upper rails in a certain room with full of teddy bears.
Speaker 3: And one of those teddy bears was also a murderer.
Speaker 3: And we would play with like having an enter frame
Speaker 3: and you don't see the hand, and yeah, that Gunther,
Speaker 3: son of Hunter got a little wild.
Speaker 2: Did Gunther team up with the teddy Bear?
Speaker 3: I think I can't remember well. And then one of
Speaker 3: them killed the other one. I can't remember who ended
Speaker 3: up the victor or if just everyone died.
Speaker 2: This is how franchises are borne. You no ip everywhere.
Speaker 2: You can do a movie about the Teddy Bear or
Speaker 2: Gunther that this alien versus predator sort of situation. Wow,
Speaker 2: that's incredible.
Speaker 3: Do you like horror?
Speaker 2: And I love horror?
Speaker 3: Okay, what's your favorite?
Speaker 2: Ever? I love The Shining Yeah, I love Halloween. I
Speaker 2: love The Haunting. The original I think it was like
Speaker 2: in sixty made in sixty four or something.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I've ever seen it.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's unbelievable. It's so good. It's so creepy
Speaker 2: and like in a way that like, you know, there
Speaker 2: aren't like a lot of like jump scares. It's just
Speaker 2: like pure atmosphere and dread and just watching a woman
Speaker 2: kind of lose her mind in a haunted house. Who
Speaker 2: could ask them? I love haunted house movies, and there
Speaker 2: aren't that many, or at least that many good ones.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what are the good ones?
Speaker 2: I love the others. That's a good, so good. What
Speaker 2: other haunted house movies are there? Though?
Speaker 3: Even the conjuring, the original one with like Lily Taylor.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a great one's pretty good. Yes, yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't like them. I mean I like them as scary
Speaker 2: movies enough to like found footage. Ones that are in
Speaker 2: a haunted house. What are those? They're new or or not?
Speaker 2: Paranormal activity, paranormal activity, but those of it to me
Speaker 2: don't seem haunted house. I need a haunted house to
Speaker 2: be kind of victorian. I don't need it to be
Speaker 2: a new build. I can't deal with a new build haunted.
Speaker 2: This looks too much like a condo or a model home.
Speaker 2: That's not scary, Tom. I need old house. Yes, I
Speaker 2: need creaking. I need door, brass door essentially.
Speaker 3: So, did you mess with skin a rink?
Speaker 2: What's that? Just that that's a scary word. Okay, what's so?
Speaker 3: This is a haunted house, one that I think is
Speaker 3: all vibe.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is what I need.
Speaker 3: It's like maybe from a year and a half ago.
Speaker 2: Oh, pretty new.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was super polarizing, but people either loved
Speaker 3: it or thought it was too slow. But there's something
Speaker 3: about the clips I've seen of it that I haven't
Speaker 3: even been able to watch it. Yeah, I think skin
Speaker 3: a marinksim and it's the the premise is so creepy.
Speaker 3: It's just very like day in the life, if you
Speaker 3: can call them. But it's two little kids, okay, at
Speaker 3: home alone. Like one of them I think is even
Speaker 3: like not even old enough to be verbal. Okay, one's
Speaker 3: like a baby.
Speaker 2: This is an eerie type of Yeah.
Speaker 3: And even just the trailer with the way it's lit
Speaker 3: and the sounds, I'm like, I don't know, I don't
Speaker 3: know if I can take this.
Speaker 2: When evil spirits get involved with you know, children not
Speaker 2: pre toddler talking about leave them them alone. So scary
Speaker 2: that kind of thing when a child can see something
Speaker 2: that the adult is so scary, no, thank you. The
Speaker 2: other thing, and I say this on the podcast probably
Speaker 2: too often that really scares me is the strangers. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: which is that's a real life situation, so.
Speaker 3: Like a home invasion Bible. Yeah, you know what was
Speaker 3: such a cool, cool version of that was just pulling
Speaker 3: up my socks was the original They redid it? The
Speaker 3: original one is I think German. Oh, but it's those
Speaker 3: guys who go in that house.
Speaker 2: Ah, funny, funny game game. Oh that's a tough Did
Speaker 2: you see that first one? I didn't see the original.
Speaker 2: I saw the English remake, so maybe I saw one
Speaker 2: or the other.
Speaker 3: That original one is.
Speaker 2: Just people showing up to terrorize you. Yeah, I can't imagine.
Speaker 3: There's this chunk of it that I think about sometimes
Speaker 3: where they've got, you know, somebody horribly hog tied to
Speaker 3: a chair or something and maybe tape on the mouth,
Speaker 3: just awful, probably being beat, and they've got this loud
Speaker 3: like Grand Prix or F one racing on on the
Speaker 3: TV and it's just so long it's just that playing
Speaker 3: for So that's that's cruciating because that's.
Speaker 2: What would really happen. Yes, Like they're focused on torturing you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's awful that. Another one that was so exciting
Speaker 3: when I saw it because it's what would happen in
Speaker 3: certain instances, is it's a French one. The girl trying
Speaker 3: to get away from this guy who comes into the
Speaker 3: country home of her friend. Oh oh, high tension.
Speaker 2: High tension, I've heard of this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But she, the girl who is being pursued, actually
Speaker 3: does some things to try and it makes it so
Speaker 3: much scarier, Like when you know everyone downstairs is murdered, right,
Speaker 3: she's hiding under a bed, and you're like, oh god,
Speaker 3: And she remembers that she's trying to make it seem
Speaker 3: like there's no one else in the house, like just
Speaker 3: go ahead and leave no one else here to kill,
Speaker 3: and she remembers that there is. She's been staying in
Speaker 3: this guest room, and she remembers there's water in the
Speaker 3: sink from like when she brushed her teeth that morning
Speaker 3: or whatever. So she sneaks out from under the bed
Speaker 3: and like wipes that dry and then gets back under
Speaker 3: the bed, and you're like, oh god, oh god, that's
Speaker 3: what you would have to do. Too much.
Speaker 2: No, this is like a morality play about cleaning up
Speaker 2: after yourself and using the bathroom. Yes, exactly. This is
Speaker 2: what you get when you don't wipe up after yourself.
Speaker 2: You put yourself in danger. Yeah, exactly that sort of thing.
Speaker 2: The other thing that scares me is I don't want
Speaker 2: to know what I would say in these situations. I
Speaker 2: feel like I would humiliate myself in the biggest possible way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, by what you would say.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like in these extreme scenarios, I'm sure
Speaker 2: I would say something so stupid, like what I don't
Speaker 2: want to know. I don't know what me trying to
Speaker 2: convince a killer not to kill me. I'm sure it
Speaker 2: would be so stupid.
Speaker 3: You know, I think, I think maybe I'm with you
Speaker 3: on that because I have in so right after college,
Speaker 3: for just a beat, I lived in Austin with two
Speaker 3: friends of mine, and the place was haunted, without a doubt,
Speaker 3: a haunted condo. I've never since lived anywhere like this.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 3: But the things I used to say out loud to
Speaker 3: whatever was happening there are so lame, remember any of
Speaker 3: the Yes, That's why I'm like, Oh, I'm exactly with you.
Speaker 3: It would be so embarrassing. There was one day mid day,
Speaker 3: no one was home except me and I listened to
Speaker 3: footsteps come up the stairs, and so I just started
Speaker 3: out loud, going, hey, look, just be cool. We're going
Speaker 3: to be cool, but you have you have to be cool.
Speaker 3: Don't make this weird. So I think I would try
Speaker 3: to get to like down if someone was trying to
Speaker 3: kill me, I would try to talk, talk reason and
Speaker 3: be like, man, let's chill. And I don't think it.
Speaker 2: Would worry, like sincere bargaining, sincere bargaining not good for me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: just to please, no one take me hostage in my
Speaker 2: own home. That's all I ask. I don't feel like
Speaker 2: it's too much to ask.
Speaker 3: It's not it's not too much.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like there's something i've you know, I've asked,
Speaker 2: and I feel like I haven't been heard, and I
Speaker 2: feel like we should just get into it. Okay, let's
Speaker 2: get into an Idio. I was looking forward to having
Speaker 2: you on the podcast, obviously, thought Idio, come by, we'll
Speaker 2: have a nice time chatting and then move on with
Speaker 2: our lives. Sure, nobody having hurt anyone's feelings, and the
Speaker 2: podcast is called. I said no gifts, and I know
Speaker 2: emails are sent, or at least I assume they are.
Speaker 2: I would hope that one of them crossed your desk
Speaker 2: at some point.
Speaker 3: Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean I I don't know either, because here you
Speaker 2: come trotting into the studio today holding what I will
Speaker 2: describe as the most beautifully wrapped gift I've ever seen. Good. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's in this gorgeous bag.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: Is this a gift for me?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a gift for you. And I've out and
Speaker 3: out disobeyed, to use your word, well.
Speaker 2: The defiance here, I don't even know how to push
Speaker 2: back on this.
Speaker 3: Well, try come at me.
Speaker 2: I'm spineless. You know that I'm crumpling here. You knew
Speaker 2: that I wouldn't be able to stand up for myself.
Speaker 2: You know this is something I'm working on in therapy,
Speaker 2: and so you're just steamrolling me.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: Well should I open it here on the podcast?
Speaker 3: You should open it here on the podcast.
Speaker 2: All right? And it's kind of this beautiful, kind.
Speaker 3: Of putty gray bag, which you know as I as
Speaker 3: I bought this gift, they said, would you like an
Speaker 3: opaque bag that you can't see through? And I said, yes,
Speaker 3: please that one, and uh, they lie.
Speaker 2: It's a little bit. See there's a little bit. It's
Speaker 2: more of a tease.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's what. Now we should start calling balls a
Speaker 3: tease bag.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's in making woopy territory. It is.
Speaker 1: Bag.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to bed, forget it. I want to divorce. Okay, Well,
Speaker 2: let's open this up here. That's kind of beautiful bow
Speaker 2: up here. That's right, double tiede, double tie. I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna take all my strength sweating. Okay, this is a
Speaker 2: different significant Should I take it the mountain specific order? Okay?
Speaker 2: I'm currently holding a can okay, and I'm going to
Speaker 2: try to guess to me based on what I know
Speaker 2: about the bag and they can, I would say, and
Speaker 2: my time in uh, you know, gas stations across America,
Speaker 2: I would say, this is a ca of refried beans.
Speaker 2: But close? Does that feel close?
Speaker 3: Close?
Speaker 2: Okay, let's see what's Yeah, this is exactly what I
Speaker 2: just called it refried beans. It's Brito's bean dip.
Speaker 3: That's right, it's bean dip. And that is because of
Speaker 3: a character I created the growlings a long time ago,
Speaker 3: bean dip, and I just thought that she should give
Speaker 3: you something with her name on it.
Speaker 2: What's bean DIP's origin story?
Speaker 3: Well, she's she's very aggressive and very wild and really
Speaker 3: rich and uh.
Speaker 2: Really sweet, but really aggressive. Have you had this bean
Speaker 2: dip before?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I actually loved that beings. I haven't had it in years,
Speaker 2: but either is delicious. I've never actually like looked into
Speaker 2: what this is. Actually. Yeah, it's just I mean it's
Speaker 2: kind of like refried beans essentially, except for they blasted
Speaker 2: into Uh, it's just true. They like obliterate it. You don't.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like you can say a bean in it, right,
Speaker 2: It's like more of a pete.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, you're not seeing a bean chunk
Speaker 3: in that. That is a full pete.
Speaker 2: This is cat level pay fancy feast of refried beans.
Speaker 3: Fully, it might be the same ingredients.
Speaker 2: Is this something that you would eat like growing up
Speaker 2: in Texas?
Speaker 3: For sure?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a very Utah I would see this frequently totally,
Speaker 2: but we would. Uh, this is a special one because
Speaker 2: it feels like you don't buy this really at grocery stores.
Speaker 3: They do have it at grocery stores, but but yeah,
Speaker 3: I feel like I have it at seven eleven because I.
Speaker 2: Feel like when I'm at a grocery store or like
Speaker 2: when my mom would be there, she would buy like
Speaker 2: the can of refried beans which was in Utah was rosarita.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: But then like my dad would probably be in convenience
Speaker 2: stores more often and get this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my mom would buy like a cannon refried beans
Speaker 3: if we were gonna have like refried beans and rice
Speaker 3: or like.
Speaker 2: Right, you know, put it in some tacos. But you
Speaker 2: were never dip. Oh that this would we would literally
Speaker 2: buy that to dip and the refried beans were a
Speaker 2: separate then yeah, interesting.
Speaker 3: Nobody was trying to dip into a can of refried beans. Wow,
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna say no, class, it's not cool that
Speaker 3: they did that.
Speaker 2: I'm having some dark feelings.
Speaker 3: Right, you need to call someone in your family up
Speaker 3: today and say the other one's literally called dip, you idiot.
Speaker 2: I'm finally going to confront my mom. Yeah, mom, you
Speaker 2: have no idea what you did to me.
Speaker 3: Mom, you have no idea what you did to me.
Speaker 3: And guess what.
Speaker 2: I'm sitting here with my full tease bag out ready
Speaker 2: to walk into seven to eleven. You get my own
Speaker 2: can of bean dip? Should we open it here? It's
Speaker 2: gonna okay, that's yeah, and it has of course the
Speaker 2: satisfying yet dangerous poll top. That's right, the room is
Speaker 2: about to smell great for the rest of the episode.
Speaker 3: Feel free a part no one will know.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they have such a strong scent. Yeah, let's see.
Speaker 2: That's like something you could open this, you know, if
Speaker 2: you're having guests over, having a fancy party, just open
Speaker 2: this and leave this in a part of the home
Speaker 2: and it'll uh, you know, fresh enough the air and an.
Speaker 3: Interesting Honestly, if you do have a little party and
Speaker 3: you have that out and some free toes, you'll be
Speaker 3: shocked at how quickly it's gone.
Speaker 2: Oh, people love it. People love it. It's essentially salt. Yeah,
Speaker 2: which who can resist salt? Okay, I pull out the
Speaker 2: next thing because it feels like they're combined. Oh but yeah,
Speaker 2: it's sort of what a trick. This is an undippable snack.
Speaker 2: You think you think it's dippable? Well should we try?
Speaker 3: I kind of thought, like, if we hold it hard enough,
Speaker 3: But you know what, all if I'm going to try
Speaker 3: to have to see if those have gluten in them?
Speaker 2: Oh see the act or just gluten free?
Speaker 3: Well it makes me sick, probably, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Pop, let's see here, my sister CELIAX, so I'm pretty
Speaker 2: verse in looking for gluten. They don't have gluten ingredients,
Speaker 2: but they are manufactured on equipment, So okay, you're okay
Speaker 2: with cross contamination their potential.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I'll show you what I meant of like
Speaker 3: folding it.
Speaker 2: Follow your lead here?
Speaker 3: Okay, whoops, funny in the coffee. So yeah, what if
Speaker 3: we just like hold it pretty sturdily?
Speaker 2: Oh yes, you really knew you had more faith in
Speaker 2: the strength of a funion than Oh and look, fight,
Speaker 2: I have a hard time pushing. How is that, dude?
Speaker 3: Legitimately so good?
Speaker 2: That really works? I'm gonna do this again.
Speaker 3: I got you these because these play heavily in uh
Speaker 3: the third season of The Righteous Gemstones. Oh of course,
Speaker 3: Aunt Tiffany always needs her Fundians. Shout out Valen Hall.
Speaker 3: She's awesome.
Speaker 2: She really is wonderful. Bunyans are. I think there's not
Speaker 2: a person on Earth who doesn't like a funion.
Speaker 3: Shame thing as with kat if you don't like bunions
Speaker 3: about you, Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's just a lot of flavor, pure flavor, and then
Speaker 2: you're dipping it in a bean dip. We may be
Speaker 2: the first two people on Earth who have made this combination.
Speaker 3: Well, let's let's trademark.
Speaker 2: And then Sue Frido lay into oblivion. Would you have
Speaker 2: a favorite type of dip? Is it bean dip?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: My favorite type of dip is also this Texas thing
Speaker 3: that well to Texas things.
Speaker 2: My love to hear about Texas dip.
Speaker 3: My mom would make this one called rotel dip.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: So it's salsa, okay, and like a block of velvet alvida. Yes,
Speaker 3: but even on the velveta it says like cheese products.
Speaker 2: Of course, it's not.
Speaker 3: Not even a cheese So yeah, it's like one of
Speaker 3: those big square.
Speaker 2: Almost looks like a stick of butter or something.
Speaker 3: Yes, right, Yeah, it's like a giant stick of butter
Speaker 3: plus salsa.
Speaker 2: And then it is so.
Speaker 3: Deliciously awesome. And then the other one she makes is
Speaker 3: just uh has people have started calling it pink to
Speaker 3: but it's pink is sweet, right, and it's not?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that one is like sour cream. And is that
Speaker 3: one salsa too?
Speaker 2: It might be.
Speaker 3: I think it's like sour cream and salsa.
Speaker 2: That makes sense, red and white that turns pink.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll get the exact recipe and sent it to
Speaker 3: you that get ready to change the lives of anyone
Speaker 3: who comes to your house. They'll be like, why do
Speaker 3: I like this?
Speaker 2: I can tell you sour cream is wonderful, sauce is wonderful. Yeah,
Speaker 2: why wouldn't you put those two things together?
Speaker 3: True?
Speaker 2: And like with Velvita, that's another thing where it's I
Speaker 2: think processed cheese got a real bad for a long time,
Speaker 2: American cheese, all these things, and I think we're slowly realizing, well,
Speaker 2: it's a blast of flavor. Who can resist it? Is
Speaker 2: just like science's idea of what cheese tastes like. Great,
Speaker 2: it's great.
Speaker 3: And nine times out of ten, if you get some
Speaker 3: nacho's somewhere, oh.
Speaker 2: My god, it's the face they're pouring that over it.
Speaker 2: If you're dipping a chip into cheese, it's probably fake
Speaker 2: cheese and better for it.
Speaker 3: And you're better for it.
Speaker 2: I love any sort of caseo, any sort of melted cheese.
Speaker 2: Anything I can put a tortilla in, or a tortilla
Speaker 2: chip in. San GUACAMOLEA do you like guacamole? Love? Okay?
Speaker 2: When people I mean dip, people get very particular about dip,
Speaker 2: and I feel like I'm very agnots agnostic about dip
Speaker 2: where I'll I don't know that I've ever had a
Speaker 2: bad dip.
Speaker 3: I don't know that I have either hamus ranch love.
Speaker 2: And now I've run not a dip Baba ganoche love fantastic,
Speaker 2: smoky love it. And I think that may be the
Speaker 2: end of dips. So maybe it's not that hard to
Speaker 2: like dip because they're about nine of them.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing I make into a dip that is
Speaker 3: very polarizing. I love yellow mustard on almost anything.
Speaker 2: Anything almost like, what's an extreme idea for yellow mustard?
Speaker 3: Well, the thing that I've gotten the most, like sort
Speaker 3: of what are you doing? Is if I've got like
Speaker 3: cashews or almonds or something, oh and just a squeeze
Speaker 3: thing of yellow mustard, I'll literally sit there and dollip
Speaker 3: on each one as I checked.
Speaker 2: Seriously.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good on anything. I would happily put it
Speaker 3: on these funions.
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, I mean I love yellow mustard, don't get
Speaker 2: me wrong, but I just I guess I don't think
Speaker 2: creatively when I think about mustard. I just think of
Speaker 2: the obvious things. Hot dogs brought worst sand some sandwiches.
Speaker 2: But now I'm thinking an almond that might work.
Speaker 3: Actually, yeah, branch out even if you uh like you
Speaker 3: saying you love anything on a tortilla. Get you a tortilla,
Speaker 3: Get it hot, right on the burner, on the stove,
Speaker 3: Flip it. Put some chunks of parmesan.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, cut them off.
Speaker 3: The parmesan block. Put chunks. Slather it with mustard. It's
Speaker 3: the greatest jail food, the best snack you've ever had.
Speaker 2: That's very like snack you thought of when the parents
Speaker 2: were gone and you had the house and we were
Speaker 2: just like, well, these are ingredients. I know, this makes
Speaker 2: basic sense.
Speaker 3: Yes, you're gonna love it.
Speaker 2: I probably would love I love all those ingredients. Yep.
Speaker 2: It's just you have to kind of get into the
Speaker 2: mindset of, well, this is a new recipe. Yes, and
Speaker 2: I have to you know, be bold, Yes, just be
Speaker 2: bold Harba sean and mustard.
Speaker 3: When you approach this. Don't approach it like you would
Speaker 3: a killer who's trying to kill you and you're trying
Speaker 3: to talk them out of it.
Speaker 2: Just go go with it, just let it take over,
Speaker 2: leave me for dead. Then parmetan is not a very
Speaker 2: melty cheese either.
Speaker 3: No, that's the point, just eat those chunks when you're
Speaker 3: crispy tortilla. Your tortilla is gonna be so crispy, is
Speaker 3: almost gonna like crack when you fold it, and you're
Speaker 3: gonna have those hard chunks in there with that yellow mustard.
Speaker 2: Get ready. It's just like a post apocalyptic like did
Speaker 2: you ever see the Road? Or it's like that where
Speaker 2: we found these ingredients in the cellar and this is
Speaker 2: a feast.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. The road reading it was even more impactful.
Speaker 2: I loved the book a lot more.
Speaker 3: When you just said the cellar was.
Speaker 2: Oh in the book, Oh, that's a tough.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. And the thinking that he was doing
Speaker 3: of like do we just stay here forever? Or do
Speaker 3: I try to take us out of the cellar?
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Oh it's so dark.
Speaker 3: It's so dark. It's so beautiful.
Speaker 2: That book, my god. Yeah. My problem with the movie
Speaker 2: was I just felt like the kid was a little
Speaker 2: too old. Felt like.
Speaker 3: That was a coffee funion.
Speaker 2: He has just swallowed a funion, like a piece of
Speaker 2: spaghetti that came out of her coffee, and she had
Speaker 2: the time of her life doing it. It's crazy. This
Speaker 2: was someone that no one should trust with a restaurant recommendations. Right.
Speaker 3: Actually, I'm such a foodie. I know, really stuff.
Speaker 2: She's like, we're in a flying jay or something truck
Speaker 2: stop somewhere. But yeah, very very roade equivalent. I should say,
Speaker 2: maybe those Cormack McCarthy books. I don't know if you've
Speaker 2: read any of the others, but I always get hungry
Speaker 2: reading them because there'll be like a cowboy eating literally
Speaker 2: like tortillas and beans and coffee, and I'm like, that's
Speaker 2: a dream meal for me.
Speaker 3: Dude, I am so with you on this, I have
Speaker 3: I can't agree more. There is a an episode of
Speaker 3: The Brady Bunch that plays in my mind sometimes where
Speaker 3: they're like lost in the Grand Canyon and they're like separated,
Speaker 3: but Bobby, I think, has sort of thought ahead and
Speaker 3: he has a flashlight full of baked beans in case
Speaker 3: he's lost.
Speaker 2: That little sicko, that little sicko, and he.
Speaker 3: Sits at one point and screws off the top of
Speaker 3: that flashlight and eats those baked beans.
Speaker 2: As his family starves, and it.
Speaker 3: Just seems like the most amazing, delicious thing. So I
Speaker 3: am so with you on these Cormick Bookcarthy, like.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like the most basic foods possible. I love it.
Speaker 2: Did Alice was Alice with the family died. She was
Speaker 2: just dead. She was dead long ago. She fell off
Speaker 2: a mountain lion. Someone should do a study on the
Speaker 2: mind of people who grew up with and without cable,
Speaker 2: because we didn't have cable either. I would love to know,
Speaker 2: like the cultural differences between people who obviously I guess
Speaker 2: I don't have cable now either, just stud to where
Speaker 2: the world is. But like kids who had cable and
Speaker 2: who didn't, I agree, there's a very you've learned. I
Speaker 2: think you've learned a lot of things while watching cable,
Speaker 2: and you were forced to become a different sort of
Speaker 2: person if you didn't have it.
Speaker 3: Agreed, it's I agreed. I think it probably. Yeah, it
Speaker 3: probably pushes people who are inclined toward the arts more
Speaker 3: towards the arts if you don't have cable, weirdly.
Speaker 2: Like hungry for it or something and maybe having to
Speaker 2: like create create more. Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: My dad's mother, who lived in the same city as us,
Speaker 3: had cable, okay, and are family friends growing up.
Speaker 2: There.
Speaker 3: They live next door to the dad's mom, their mamma,
Speaker 3: and the Crittles mamma had cable, right, and so we'd
Speaker 3: go over to their mamma's house sometimes to swim, and
Speaker 3: I would just she had a TV just right past
Speaker 3: the sort of backscreen door that was at the pool,
Speaker 3: and the TV was right there near the door, and
Speaker 3: I would just sneak out of the pool and just
Speaker 3: like turn it to MTV and stare I mean transfixed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a complete universe that you're not allowed
Speaker 2: to access at home.
Speaker 3: It was delishous.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, anytime I went to a friend's house with
Speaker 2: cable ooh, completely different experience. Fully loved, loved, loved. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just recently, weirdly, I've been on YouTube watching the
Speaker 2: people are uploading like old MTV Music Video Awards, like
Speaker 2: the entire show. Oh, that's awesome watching I think the
Speaker 2: ninety five A worn how great, Brittany. No, this was
Speaker 2: like full Michael Jackson. Oh, which is a complicated situation.
Speaker 2: But he does like a fifteen minute thing which I
Speaker 2: found very unsatisfying, to be honest.
Speaker 3: Oh really no moonwalk.
Speaker 2: A lot of it, but that he was doing essentially
Speaker 2: like twenty seconds of each song, and it felt oh scattered,
Speaker 2: MJ was scattered. Yeah, come on, just do all of
Speaker 2: Billy Jean. Yes, that's the only one who want to
Speaker 2: hear give me a break? Anything passed off the wall
Speaker 2: or no, let's see thriller, thriller. Yeah, after that, I
Speaker 2: don't need I don't need to hear bad. I don't
Speaker 2: need to hear bad give me a break, and any
Speaker 2: of those ballads from the mid nineties.
Speaker 3: Man in the Mirror, Oh no, thank you.
Speaker 2: I don't need you preaching to me. You've got your
Speaker 2: own problems, deal with that before you start.
Speaker 3: Yeah, seriously, stop preaching to us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, how dare how dare you?
Speaker 3: God? Seriously, how dare he hit us with Man in
Speaker 3: the Mirror? Come on, Michael, please.
Speaker 2: He knew what he was doing, he knew what he
Speaker 2: was doing. But then there was the scream video with Janet,
Speaker 2: and I'm I'm full on board with Janet. Of course
Speaker 2: we love Janet.
Speaker 3: Me too, And I did enjoy the like awesome cringe
Speaker 3: of like those weird moments in the silence of like
Speaker 3: oh oh yeah, I remember you seeing me so uncomfortable,
Speaker 3: and I really liked.
Speaker 2: It for this person. Yeah, yeah, there was MJ. There
Speaker 2: was Live. Do you remember the band Live? Oh God?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you knows the song.
Speaker 2: Of course shirtless singing. Yeah, there was a big period
Speaker 2: where it was kind of a hole, which was great
Speaker 2: to see court. So it's very fun, very fun to watch. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna watch and they have the commercials and everything.
Speaker 2: It's like, I hope I'm not exposing these YouTube channels
Speaker 2: and then MTV comes after them. These things should be preserve.
Speaker 2: I agree. I'd love to watch a old VHS recording
Speaker 2: of a Oh my God, an Awards show. It's fantastic.
Speaker 3: There's a song on Serious I mean, I'm not a
Speaker 3: song a radio a station on Serious Radio, Lithium, that's
Speaker 3: all like nineties grunge type style.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 3: I've just recently realized, like through hearing live on there,
Speaker 3: that like they were sort of this early version of
Speaker 3: like almost like a beat dropping in EDM. Interesting, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, Because they would do these and
Speaker 3: it would go like that forever, and then out of
Speaker 3: nowhere they.
Speaker 2: Would go like.
Speaker 3: Are and You're like, WHOA. Every song of theirs is like, has.
Speaker 2: This crazy where everybody is gonna.
Speaker 3: Write it up?
Speaker 2: Yeah, lollapalooza, yeah ninety seven. Yes, I'm trying to think
Speaker 2: if I have a favorite music do you does anything
Speaker 2: spring to mind for you? Oh? I love music videos
Speaker 2: and me too. Whenever I anytime I bring up the
Speaker 2: word favorite, my mind goes blank. Mind too, despite like,
Speaker 2: what's the one you like? What's something I really really love? Okay,
Speaker 2: let's focus. Let's see. It would probably be from the nineties.
Speaker 2: It would probably be you know, I like some Oh,
Speaker 2: I like some b York videos too, like that. Oh,
Speaker 2: it's a so quiet video that Spike Joe. It's amazing, amazing.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say that's a favorite, but that comes to mind.
Speaker 2: That's an easy Paul for me. Oh, I you know,
Speaker 2: I love the uh the Weezer video for the Sweater
Speaker 2: song and me too. It's kind of dreamy and they
Speaker 2: have all these dogs run into the studio. That's a
Speaker 2: great one. Yeah, I don't know, sir.
Speaker 3: I love the I feel like it's so classic. I
Speaker 3: love the Sabotage Beastie.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's an all time That song is incredible.
Speaker 3: Yea.
Speaker 2: The video is amazing. Ye Oh, it's so good.
Speaker 3: And I actually love that Food Fighters video. We're on
Speaker 3: the airplane.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, to fly, Yes, yes, Dave. Girls like a
Speaker 2: naturally very funny person. I love. There's this one for
Speaker 2: a Blur song called Coffee and TV and it's a
Speaker 2: little milk carton that walks around town.
Speaker 3: Oh dude, Yeah, fantastic, awesome.
Speaker 2: And now but they don't you don't really see music
Speaker 2: videos anymore. They each have a budget about one hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: I know. I got to direct one what, like I
Speaker 3: guess now it's like a year and a half ago
Speaker 3: for l King. Oh wow, and I love how it
Speaker 3: turned out and we actually got to like really do something.
Speaker 2: What is the video concept?
Speaker 3: The song is called Try Jesus, and it's like awesome
Speaker 3: mix of country and like gospel almost the vibe of it.
Speaker 3: But it's basically this woman who's like hooked up with
Speaker 3: a bunch of losers and she's like, I don't know,
Speaker 3: maybe I need to try Jesus. Yeah. She and her
Speaker 3: manager had gone to record it and one of them,
Speaker 3: either l or Chip. Her manager was like, oh, this
Speaker 3: seems like something Judy Jemstone would sing, and so they
Speaker 3: just reached out on it and said would you ever
Speaker 3: want to direct it? I was like, Yes, I would,
Speaker 3: that's incredible. So yeah, I wrote the video and talked
Speaker 3: with the l of all about it. And then yeah,
Speaker 3: then we set out renting a dollar store outside of
Speaker 3: Nashville and tree.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was awesome. Had you directed before?
Speaker 3: No, that was my first that's amazing.
Speaker 2: Oh, I can't wait to see this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to do more.
Speaker 2: You should.
Speaker 3: That was my first though.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, And now I'm realizing one other. This is
Speaker 2: a very deep poll, but I can't imagine. It's by
Speaker 2: a ben called The Intelligence. I just love this video
Speaker 2: and it's the most simple thing, but it's two actual
Speaker 2: crabs and one's playing the guitar and it's one of
Speaker 2: the It's just so very delightful. It's for a song
Speaker 2: called dating Cops. So that's a very fall I love
Speaker 2: music video.
Speaker 3: I do too, And now that's got me thinking, Oh,
Speaker 3: there was this really wild one. I guess it's like
Speaker 3: ten years ago. At this point. The video is this
Speaker 3: guy running. The whole video is him running through a
Speaker 3: field and just getting shot over and over with arrows. Oh.
Speaker 2: That sounds incredible. It's so good. What is that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll have to look it up and.
Speaker 2: At least put some keywords in and see if that's
Speaker 2: a music video. Guy in field being murdered.
Speaker 3: Oh, you're gonna know the band immediately, Jay Jay.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, I haven't seen that.
Speaker 3: I think you'll like it.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: I wanted to do something old school, like from when
Speaker 3: I was growing up, of like a little bit of
Speaker 3: a preamble and a story. I would have done way more.
Speaker 3: I would have done like a whole like of course
Speaker 3: fifteen minute video, but that was sort of sort of quick.
Speaker 3: But still I got to have it. I got to
Speaker 3: have her say a little something before.
Speaker 2: It, so it's like as close to like when they
Speaker 2: were making music videos and totally totally Oh, I'm so jealous.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see this. Yeah, okay, I'm going
Speaker 2: to reach. I think there's at least one more thing
Speaker 2: in here.
Speaker 3: There are two more things in there, and I'm so
Speaker 3: glad these were open first. The next two are their
Speaker 3: own cattory.
Speaker 2: And this is something I've never seen before. I mean
Speaker 2: I hadn't seen it either.
Speaker 3: These next two are things that I got for you
Speaker 3: because the title of them was disgusting God gushers.
Speaker 2: I'm familiar with gushers, the candy from They would put
Speaker 2: them in like at least other kids in school would
Speaker 2: have them in their sack. Lunches yep, and I think
Speaker 2: they're disgusting. Have you had one before? I'm excited to try.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's an absolute texture nightmare for me. And
Speaker 2: now money bites, money byes, what's the there's like a
Speaker 2: mix that people make with the checks mix muddy.
Speaker 3: Buddies, oh, or like puppy Chow.
Speaker 2: Puppy Chow. I think those are kind of that's the
Speaker 2: same thing that like peanut butter checks and chocolate powdered chugar.
Speaker 2: Maybe I wonder if that's but this has waffle cone,
Speaker 2: so this is a whole new thing, that thing.
Speaker 3: But I was like muddy bites. There was something so like,
Speaker 3: it's so scatological about that.
Speaker 2: Gushers. That's a tough combination of snacks.
Speaker 3: Come on, get loose, get your tea's bag out, get
Speaker 3: you some gushers, slurp some muddy bites.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: Would you like to try a gusher first or a
Speaker 2: muddy bite first?
Speaker 3: I think a gusher first, and then I don't even
Speaker 3: know if I can have the muddy bites because they've
Speaker 3: got cones.
Speaker 2: Oh right, you can't have that's certainly a gluten and
Speaker 2: let's these might even be let's see let's just make
Speaker 2: sure I know there's a gluten. Yeah. These seem okay,
Speaker 2: and yet they're impossible to open. Maybe if I pull
Speaker 2: it like this, Oh the mean that's almost too easy.
Speaker 2: These were opened in storm. We're gonna both be poisoned.
Speaker 2: This is like that advil murderer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like old Halloween warnings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, Okay, I know, m I'm not okay. I
Speaker 2: have to get a different flavor. This flavor is abhorrent.
Speaker 2: It's lime. Oh, artificial lime for me? Is whoa?
Speaker 3: That orange one had no flavor and I'm like, did
Speaker 3: I get covid in here?
Speaker 2: Rapid covid? Okay, I have to give it another shot
Speaker 2: with the blue. I think that's a safer hmm. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, that green is for me. That is truly
Speaker 2: poisonous flavoring. Oh okay, blue, They're.
Speaker 3: So like fake it's Oh, the gush is wilder.
Speaker 2: This is a bad This is a bad candy. They
Speaker 2: should no longer be on the market.
Speaker 3: That is fully of poisoned candy.
Speaker 2: We've come so far with artificial flavoring and they have
Speaker 2: fucked it up in a huge way. Tropical. Oh, they
Speaker 2: taste horrible.
Speaker 3: I know, they should at least taste as good as
Speaker 3: like Star Wars.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, bare minimum. Come on, they don't. This is
Speaker 2: a national brand. They have the science, the food scientists
Speaker 2: that could be evolving the flavor. They don't care about us.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a terrible these I think, like initially we're
Speaker 2: kind of almost like the fruit snack category, where people
Speaker 2: think parents would be tricking to thinking oh it's a fruit.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because they'd be in lunches and.
Speaker 2: Now oh okay, now I guess I'll be trying my
Speaker 2: muddy bite private like, okay, let me know. If you
Speaker 2: want me to over my eyes, I'm gonna have to
Speaker 2: blur out all of the footage. Chair that's what it
Speaker 2: looks like. It is very uh the cone is very
Speaker 2: accurate to a real cone. Maybe that might actually be
Speaker 2: a waffle cone. And then the inside is some dusty chocolate.
Speaker 3: Ha ha ha oh, because I forgot to tell you this,
Speaker 3: there is a sign by these in the store that
Speaker 3: says do not eat well. It says all these muddy
Speaker 3: bites were left on a shelf for six months, hence
Speaker 3: the dusty chocolate. Enjoy before before bagging.
Speaker 2: You think six months, yeah, just to collect the right amount.
Speaker 2: It's not gonna stop me.
Speaker 3: Okay, great, Oh I don't oh.
Speaker 2: This almost says more like an onion than a oh no,
Speaker 2: something wrong is happening in my mouth right. I don't
Speaker 2: know if it's because the funion altered what's happening in
Speaker 2: my mouth, but there's like a a savoriness to this
Speaker 2: that should not be happening. What is happening?
Speaker 3: Oh god, they're just like both of them are such
Speaker 3: Oh oh, they're such synonyms for you know, very like
Speaker 3: very explicit.
Speaker 2: Well and listen, it sounds like there's a letter on
Speaker 2: the back from the creators. Oh hi, and it says
Speaker 2: we started Muddy Bites because we thought to ourselves, what's
Speaker 2: better than eating a Sunday cone? Well, well, yeah, enjoying
Speaker 2: the last bite over and over again, of course. Okay,
Speaker 2: where delicious milk chocolate made from only the best ingredients.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna stop you right there. Yeah, come on, fills
Speaker 2: the waffle cone tip for the perfect bite. It's like
Speaker 2: every day is summer vacation or hitting a home run.
Speaker 2: With every swing, it's happiness multiplied. Jared and Tyler. Jared Tyler,
Speaker 2: what are you doing?
Speaker 3: What are you doing? I see the deal. Now I didn't.
Speaker 3: I didn't put it together like, oh, if someone does
Speaker 3: eat a drumstick.
Speaker 2: That part is good.
Speaker 3: That part is the best I can remember that course.
Speaker 3: So that's what they're trying to do here.
Speaker 2: But that's not an artificial This is a copy of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there was part of this that made me
Speaker 3: gasp fee oh the waffle tip. God, just at least
Speaker 3: add a few words about the end of the waffle cone,
Speaker 3: the waffle tip of the muddy bite. Get out of here.
Speaker 3: How dare you? Jared and Tyler?
Speaker 2: Wow, they're really getting away with something here. This snack
Speaker 2: should have like a rating like movies. Yeah, these are X. Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is an X, and so's the gusher. And I
Speaker 2: will say that they have there are notes of meat
Speaker 2: I'm tasting. I'm tasting notes of ground beef for site.
Speaker 2: But maybe people are into that. Maybe people have all
Speaker 2: sorts of tastes and cases.
Speaker 3: You know what I didn't notice in the seven to
Speaker 3: eleven was that the logo on that they have on
Speaker 3: the front of the cone that's running this little guy.
Speaker 3: He has a full erection.
Speaker 2: Not really without a huge kind of glance. He also
Speaker 2: kind of looks like a slice of pizza. Whoever was
Speaker 2: they paid. They probably bought this on Fiver or something.
Speaker 2: They got like some amateur to do their logo. That's
Speaker 2: not ideal. The best bite over and over again. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: but I will not be having another muddy bite. I
Speaker 2: don't want to stop anyone else from having a money
Speaker 2: Please have a money bite. But for me, you know,
Speaker 2: if the meat the meat element, my mouth is so confused.
Speaker 3: With hints of ground beef in the waffle tip.
Speaker 2: Well, I think we should play a game. I do too. Okay,
Speaker 2: We're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse. But
Speaker 2: I need a number between one and ten from you. Okay, seven, Okay,
Speaker 2: I have to do some light calculating. So right now
Speaker 2: you can recommend, promote, do whatever you want. I'll be
Speaker 2: right back.
Speaker 3: Okay, great, I would say in this moment, I will
Speaker 3: tell people to watch season four of The Righteous Gemstones.
Speaker 3: It's currently airing on HBO also known as Max comes
Speaker 3: on Sunday nights right after White Lotus. How about that
Speaker 3: throat clear and yeah, episode three air word on this
Speaker 3: past Sunday night, and uh yeah, catch that catch up
Speaker 3: on all the other seasons if you want to you
Speaker 3: before you watch it. And I'm doing a show on
Speaker 3: May sixth at the Crownlings. That's a improvise one person show.
Speaker 3: Oh that's what I've got right now.
Speaker 2: Oh that's beautiful. Yeah, Jemsuns is so good. And I
Speaker 2: might be biased, but Edie is just outstanding. Hey, come on,
Speaker 2: everybody's gotta Yeah, everybody's gotta watch it and listener. What
Speaker 2: am I? I'm reminding you that we have Patreon now
Speaker 2: Patreon dot com slash I said, no gifts, bonus episodes. Also,
Speaker 2: whatever nonsense. I feel like posting. Sometimes it's late at
Speaker 2: night and I'm desperate to do a post, and then
Speaker 2: it just ends up being something I probably shouldn't have
Speaker 2: posted in the first place. I don't know, but that's
Speaker 2: an opportunity for you. Okay, this is how we play
Speaker 2: Gift or a Curse. Great, I'm gonna name three things.
Speaker 2: You'll tell me if there are a gift or a
Speaker 2: curse and why, and then also if you're right or wrong,
Speaker 2: because there are answers. Yep, all right. This first one
Speaker 2: is from one of our Patreon listeners, Brit Gift or
Speaker 2: a Curse going through the drive through and the person
Speaker 2: in front of you paid for your meal gift why.
Speaker 3: I think that it was just probably something they wanted
Speaker 3: to do. They probably didn't even see you. I know
Speaker 3: if I did that, I would just do it just
Speaker 3: to be cool, be nice, and have them have an
Speaker 3: extra perk in the day. I know people could argue
Speaker 3: that they saw you and they felt really bad for you,
Speaker 3: but I think probably they don't even care who or
Speaker 3: what you are. They just were trying to do something nice.
Speaker 2: Wrong curse. This person is mind your own business. I
Speaker 2: don't want you knowing anything about how much I'm spending
Speaker 2: at the drive through, and you're obviously very curious about
Speaker 2: my fast food budget, and so you think what's the
Speaker 2: easiest way to find.
Speaker 3: Out, Oh pay now, Wow.
Speaker 2: Pright into my personal business.
Speaker 3: You're yeah, I didn't even think about this.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: They know too much about you, know.
Speaker 2: Too much, and it's almost like they're reverse following you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like a very subtle piece of soccer move Yep, yep.
Speaker 3: Well I know why I got that one wrong, and
Speaker 3: I will never do it.
Speaker 2: Again, all right. Number two. Uh, This is from a
Speaker 2: listener named Brent. Gift a curse. Gift you a curse.
Speaker 2: Standing on escalators.
Speaker 3: Well, it could go either way. Ultimately, curse because keep
Speaker 3: it moving if you can, and if you I have
Speaker 3: been in situations where my bag is too heavy to
Speaker 3: walk on the escalator, but in that case, put it
Speaker 3: right in front of you, have it, take up only
Speaker 3: the width of your body and leave room enough for
Speaker 3: someone to run past on the side if they want to.
Speaker 2: So you're saying, curse, curse, absolutely a curse. Oh, I
Speaker 2: mean this, I mean what's shocking to me. I mean
Speaker 2: it's how many people don't understand this. It's shaped like
Speaker 2: a staircase for a reason. If you have the ability
Speaker 2: to walk up a staircase, no excuses. I want you
Speaker 2: walking up an escalator. Keep it moving, come on or yeah,
Speaker 2: or at least stand to the side.
Speaker 3: Yeah. If you can't keep it moving, stand to the side.
Speaker 2: Oh this sets me off in a huge way when
Speaker 2: I'm trapped behind somebody on an escalator.
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially if you're trying to run through an airport
Speaker 3: and get a connecting flight.
Speaker 2: It is infury, and I even more so if it's
Speaker 2: one that's going down where it's like this requires very
Speaker 2: little energy. Huh. Okay, I can kind of get behind
Speaker 2: the reason of like I don't want to walk up.
Speaker 2: I still want to walk up, but we're headed down.
Speaker 2: Gravity is assisting you. Hear, keep moving, get out of
Speaker 2: the way.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 2: And no lovebirds standing next to each other. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: no no.
Speaker 3: I feel the same about moving sidewalks in the airport.
Speaker 2: Of course, and the airport is telling people still and
Speaker 2: to the side.
Speaker 3: Stand to the side, because I'm coming fast.
Speaker 2: I am flying, even if I'm not in a rush,
Speaker 2: I'm just like I want to love it. Yes, it's
Speaker 2: a thrill.
Speaker 3: It's a thrill.
Speaker 2: You feel like wonder Woman or something zipping through the airport.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Curse. Okay, so you've gotten one right, so
Speaker 2: car great, not a total failure. Finally, this is from
Speaker 2: a listener named Mackenzie Gift or a curse keyless ignitions
Speaker 2: in cars.
Speaker 3: Gift, Why just because then you can have your your
Speaker 3: whole chunk of keys just in your bag, in your
Speaker 3: pocket wherever you want to have it, and you don't
Speaker 3: have to go digging for it to stick it in
Speaker 3: the key hole. Just get going.
Speaker 2: You're on the move.
Speaker 3: You're you're on the move. This is exactly in the
Speaker 3: vein as an escalator. Keep it moving.
Speaker 2: Wrong, curse. Look, I understand everything you've just said, but
Speaker 2: I think I miss the delicious feeling of sticking the
Speaker 2: key into the ignition, the revving it up. You know,
Speaker 2: it feels like you'rev I'm revving.
Speaker 3: What is your car?
Speaker 2: A monster truck?
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, I get it.
Speaker 2: I drive a monster truck, a Corvette. I'm always in
Speaker 2: something that's catching eye. A Dodge Challenger, Dodge Challenger of course,
Speaker 2: of course, cutting people off on the freeway, tailgating. And
Speaker 2: the only thing missing is that I didn't get to
Speaker 2: turn the key.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: I loved and I do feel like I'm being trained
Speaker 2: to like. You know, what tries to crazy is when
Speaker 2: the automatic door opens just for the driver and then
Speaker 2: you're sending there as the passenger, waiting for the person
Speaker 2: to get in and open your door. Drives me crazy, agreed.
Speaker 3: I can't. I can't fight the urge to uh. I've
Speaker 3: tried it. Once it was locked. I then can't not go.
Speaker 2: Of course, I'm I get it back in. Yes, the
Speaker 2: night's ruin.
Speaker 3: I'm done.
Speaker 2: I'm going to uber at that point, you know too
Speaker 2: much forget it? Well, you got one out of one
Speaker 2: three pretty poor, bad, unfortunately, huge failure, but it gives
Speaker 2: our allows for room for improvement.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, And at least we.
Speaker 2: Know you know how to stand on it or to
Speaker 2: move on an escalator, which comes for a lot. All right,
Speaker 2: people who are standing on the escalator fail.
Speaker 3: At everything, So I think you may be right.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I think we should get into this final
Speaker 2: segment of the podcast. Let's answer a listener question perfect
Speaker 2: people have been sending in voice notes on at least
Speaker 2: would you play one?
Speaker 4: Hi Bridger, my name is Ann and this weekend, my
Speaker 4: grandma turns one hundred and one. I have no clue
Speaker 4: what to get her. She's from Missouri. She's very elegant,
Speaker 4: she's very funny. Loves white wine like chardonay. I don't
Speaker 4: know if I can keep giving a woman in her
Speaker 4: hundreds wine. She'd probably like that, but I'd really appreciate
Speaker 4: some advice. Here shout out to Dorothy. She's a great grandma.
Speaker 4: I love her and I'm so lucky she's here.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Oh sweet, so sweeteah. And she has a
Speaker 3: problem geez, sounds like a blast.
Speaker 2: She's having the time of her life. She's still getting
Speaker 2: boozed up at one hundred and one.
Speaker 3: Pretty great.
Speaker 2: Wow, what do you give this person that you know
Speaker 2: has to dry out?
Speaker 3: My first idea is, maybe she doesn't have to dry out?
Speaker 3: What about I wonder if there's anywhere even an hour
Speaker 3: or two away a winery. That would be a fun.
Speaker 2: Time grandma granddaughter trip.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just even go and spend one day and one
Speaker 3: night would be a blast.
Speaker 2: That's a great idea, be my first idea.
Speaker 3: But maybe Anne doesn't live where her grandma lives. In
Speaker 3: that case, my next idea would be, maybe maybe it's
Speaker 3: a really cool, like unique, some kind of jewelry.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, some nice like a nice necklace or earring,
Speaker 2: yes that's an or a bracelet, a charm bracelet with
Speaker 2: wine bottles on it. Yeah, yeah, that seems like a
Speaker 2: decent thing. I do ever think about? This is something
Speaker 2: I think about, well, not often. I'm not frequently thinking
Speaker 2: about this. But if I get to that age I
Speaker 2: really want to start doing hard drugs, why not?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I just feel like you get to a point where
Speaker 2: you're like, let's just do it.
Speaker 3: Let's party.
Speaker 2: Yeah is at the door? Yes? Okay, So what drugs
Speaker 2: should she get her? I feel like a starter on heroin?
Speaker 3: Great whoa full trade spotting from the jump. Okay, dirty
Speaker 3: drugs okay.
Speaker 2: Or maybe okay, it's her birthday. Maybe she coke?
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, that's a party drug coke or maybe uh
Speaker 3: maybe some molly Molly's together.
Speaker 2: Molly seems like a grandma drug. Yeah, give your grandma
Speaker 2: some molly and like be prepared to like brush her hair,
Speaker 2: hug hug, lie together on a quill.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that sounds awesome.
Speaker 2: That's a perfect hundred and first birthday with your granddaughter.
Speaker 2: I mean, if she doesn't like that, then she has
Speaker 2: not learned anything in life. Sorry, grandma, Sorry grandma. Well
Speaker 2: I think that we answered that. I think we've saved
Speaker 2: a relationship, a grandma granddaughter relationship.
Speaker 3: Were the were they in peril dire straits?
Speaker 2: Yes, there was gonna be a some something that resembled
Speaker 2: a divorce. Can you emancipate yourself from your grandma? Yes? Well,
Speaker 2: happy one hundred and first birthday, Grandma. Yes, Deandra, don't
Speaker 2: call back. Ah Um, Well we answered the question perfectly.
Speaker 2: The room smells like an absolute gourmet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the room smells like beans, onions and gushers.
Speaker 2: I've had such a wonderful time with you. Same what
Speaker 2: a bless and I've now I've had lunch. Great, thank
Speaker 2: you for being here. Yeah, thanks for having me listener.
Speaker 2: The podcast is over. You can do whatever you want
Speaker 2: with your day. If that involves muddy bites. I don't
Speaker 2: know what to tell you, but that's truly up to you.
Speaker 2: I'm sending you off into the world and hoping you
Speaker 2: make a decent decision. I love you, goodbye. I said,
Speaker 2: No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer
Speaker 2: is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed
Speaker 2: by Ben Holliday. The theme song is by mir co
Speaker 2: worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker,
Speaker 2: Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram. At
Speaker 2: I said no Gifts, that's where you're going to see
Speaker 2: pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't
Speaker 2: you want to see the gifts?
Speaker 3: He lie?
Speaker 2: Invit? Did you hear?
Speaker 1: Gonta made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guess to me,
Speaker 1: you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests,
Speaker 1: You're our presences presents enough and I already had too
Speaker 1: much stuff.
Speaker 3: So how do you dare to surbey Me