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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcasting show.

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Speaker 1: This seems to be the fifteen minute morning show podcast. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I see in the room. We've got Scotty b and

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Speaker 1: we've got Danielle and Scary and Garrett and Gandhi. Uh,

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Speaker 1: there's some window in a dark room. Sam, Sam's gone,

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Speaker 1: and there's Straight and Ate, and there's Brody and there's

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Speaker 1: Froggy and there you go. Welcome to another whatever the

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Speaker 1: hell this thing is, fifteen minute morning show? Hey, do

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Speaker 1: you even hate that feeling where you wake up in

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Speaker 1: a jolt and you think it's the next day and

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Speaker 1: you think you're late for work. Well, this happened to

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Speaker 1: Alex yesterday. We came back from lunch. We had a

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Speaker 1: glass or two of wine whatever, and it wasn't the

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Speaker 1: big video. He decided to take an app in the

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Speaker 1: bed rather than on the couch. So he woke up

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Speaker 1: convinced it was eight am and he was late for work.

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Speaker 1: So he called his boss and says, I'm so sorry,

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Speaker 1: I just I'm just not gonna make it in. And

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Speaker 1: so his boss thought he meant today, but it was

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Speaker 1: last night, but he thought it was today. Does that

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Speaker 1: make sense if I called his boss and said he

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Speaker 1: he totally messed that up. He's coming in tomorrow. And

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Speaker 1: then I go to the kitchen this morning and opened

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Speaker 1: the the drawer of the big deep thing with the

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Speaker 1: trash can in it, and it's filled with mountains and

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Speaker 1: mountains of paper towels soaked in red wine. Oh. Yes,

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Speaker 1: when Uncle Johnny visits, there's always a spill. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: I started going to every room systematically looking for stains.

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Speaker 1: I can't find any. So find out he's spilled an

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Speaker 1: entire massive goblet of wine all over the kitchen floor

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Speaker 1: this morning. So then as I'm like, Uncle Johnny, can't

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Speaker 1: you go a weekend without spilling wine all over my house?

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Speaker 1: Rather than an apology, here's what I get. I'm shyy.

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Speaker 1: I'm only getting drink vodka from now one in your house? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he makes you feel like crap, Right, I won't show

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Speaker 1: up on the paper towels they do the wait, they

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Speaker 1: do that in my house. If I say you spilled

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Speaker 1: something on the floor or the foods on the floor,

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Speaker 1: well I just won't eat then, Okay, don't don't. That's fine.

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Speaker 1: Why is it, like, why is it something I've done wrong?

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Speaker 1: When you spill wine? All over my house. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm done. I think I'm gonna lock

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Speaker 1: up and no one. No one's allowed my house, right answer,

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Speaker 1: Uncle Johnny is like a fancy dog. Like when you

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Speaker 1: go into the house and you smell poop and you

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Speaker 1: don't know where it is, and you hunt everywhere, Like

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Speaker 1: you see a little bit of red wine, You're like,

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Speaker 1: Uncle Johnny, would you drop it? And you have to

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Speaker 1: go on hunt to find this guy's mess. Who wants

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Speaker 1: to take care of him? Next he can come to

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Speaker 1: your house. My house is not big enough. We don't

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Speaker 1: have enough alcohol. I think you takes such good care

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Speaker 1: of him that he's not going to be happy anywhere else. Like,

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Speaker 1: there's no way I could be able to provide the

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Speaker 1: same environment you do. Like first bottle of line gone,

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Speaker 1: I'd be like, dude, you gotta buy your own. Now

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Speaker 1: you're done. So it's gonna be an entire day of

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Speaker 1: cleaning up after Johnny and Alex. That's what I do

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Speaker 1: every Tuesday. Can we talk about the elephant in the room? Um,

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Speaker 1: please go ahead make hair. It's in the shape of

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Speaker 1: a more like a poodle in the room. So Nate

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Speaker 1: said that he went for a trim, and he paid

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Speaker 1: forty eight dollars and he wasn't happy. Blah blah. He

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Speaker 1: said he's either going back today or going to a

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Speaker 1: different place to get it fixed. So here's a question

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Speaker 1: for Brodie. So Brodie as Mr Free Dessert, would you

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Speaker 1: go back and say, hey, I want my money back,

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Speaker 1: or you gotta fix this? Oh there's no fix in that, Nate.

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Speaker 1: I would I would super damages yea. Or it would

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Speaker 1: be better just not go there every and it just

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Speaker 1: go someplace and get it fixed. You got to face

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Speaker 1: somebody to fix what they funked up, Like you should

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Speaker 1: go back and make him fix it or get your money.

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Speaker 1: See that's my thing. My thing is like I spent

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Speaker 1: forty eight fifty bucks for this and it looks like ship.

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Speaker 1: So well, Nate, what about back before you started all this,

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Speaker 1: you got your hair cut on a regular basis. Why

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Speaker 1: don't you go to that person? Ah, I guess he

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Speaker 1: didn't do that, could have a job in the first place.

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Speaker 1: I'm worried about what he's gonna do to funck my

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Speaker 1: ship up. Now. You know, here's the thing. You not

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Speaker 1: only are owed money from whoever did that to your hair,

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Speaker 1: whoever sold you the mirror you have in your bathroom

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Speaker 1: in your house, they should they should give you every

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Speaker 1: fund too. I can't believe you didn't see that in

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Speaker 1: the mirror this morning, effective mirror. You didn't say something.

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Speaker 1: As soon as it was done, walked out the chair. Nate, No, okay,

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Speaker 1: so that what happened was he cut my hair, but

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Speaker 1: it was so wet and he had so much product

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Speaker 1: in there. It didn't look like this, right. So then

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Speaker 1: I leave and I wash my hair, and I get

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Speaker 1: out and it's drying, and then it dry and I

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Speaker 1: take a little bit of a nap and I wake

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Speaker 1: up and tethertimes and says, oh my god, what happened

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Speaker 1: your hair? And I look and it looks like this.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh, I just need to put product in, right,

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Speaker 1: But put and I use. I used like half of

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Speaker 1: one of these things and it still looks I still

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Speaker 1: have products from yesterday and more product in from this

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Speaker 1: morning and there, so maybe it's too much product. Now?

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Speaker 1: Can I help you? Can, like the one curly person

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Speaker 1: in this immediate area, help you. I don't have my

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Speaker 1: product with me. Product is not going to make a

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Speaker 1: difference with what is happening with the cut on his head. No,

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Speaker 1: but it could be improved from where it is not.

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Speaker 1: I think Nate was a victim of false advertisement because

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Speaker 1: because the guy showed him, Okay, here it is, Hi, goodbye,

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Speaker 1: see you later, giving my money. But as soon as

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Speaker 1: he leaves, the whole thing falls apart. You drive a

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Speaker 1: car off the lot. It's a lemon and it just

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Speaker 1: everything such full. And also, you know, Nate, it would

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Speaker 1: take so much product to fix that. It's not worth it.

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Speaker 1: It's not worth your time or the amount of money

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Speaker 1: for the product. I specifically asked. When I go to

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Speaker 1: this men salon, which was rated extremely well on like

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Speaker 1: Google and yelping all this ship, I go, hey, I

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Speaker 1: need the guy that does long hair. They're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we'll give you him. He's available at I go there

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Speaker 1: and he does this. That's where you messed up. Long

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Speaker 1: hair is not curly hair. Baby. There are two different things.

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Speaker 1: He does look at a picture and say I want that,

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Speaker 1: or like no, Because you came in this morning, you're like, hey, buddy,

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Speaker 1: how's it going? And I didn't even realize you had

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Speaker 1: anything done. I wanted to see if you would notice

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Speaker 1: it looks like they cut the back but just left

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Speaker 1: the side like there, son, So I should just start

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Speaker 1: from scratch, like maybe this is a thing, Maybe this

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Speaker 1: is a style that we haven't we haven't a he's

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Speaker 1: a style forward hair tapledge, Little Lord Fauntleroy's coming back,

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Speaker 1: look like a curly page boy. I think you look

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Speaker 1: like a nice, amish lady. It's like, you know, like

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Speaker 1: those those haircuts that women have when they play soccer.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's one of those hair keeping up

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Speaker 1: your neck you want crusty to clown everything like like like, okay,

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Speaker 1: Danielle Gandhi Sam, Like, have you had a haircut where

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Speaker 1: you just cried? Ye? Are you kidding me? It was

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Speaker 1: my life until I was fifteen years old. And this

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Speaker 1: is not going to make you feel any better. But

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Speaker 1: it's because my hair always ended up looking exactly like yours.

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Speaker 1: Because I have very curly hair. My parents didn't know

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Speaker 1: how to handle it, so they would just cut it off.

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Speaker 1: And it was that all the time. Yeah, and people

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Speaker 1: would ask me if I was a boy or a girl.

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Speaker 1: They just ask it. By the way, can I just

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Speaker 1: time out? Gandhi's audio is so loud it is really

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Speaker 1: turn it down on my side. Yeah, I still look

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Speaker 1: like a poodle as a kid, because we would get

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Speaker 1: me perms all the time cause I have like pin

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Speaker 1: straight hair, and I would come out looking like freaking poodle.

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Speaker 1: Poodle lady. I looked like the curly cotton swab a

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Speaker 1: couple of years ago, Nate, she messed me up to anyway,

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Speaker 1: Say to you getting out of that, getting your hair

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Speaker 1: done and getting home and you know, doing what you

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Speaker 1: have to do with it, and then noticing it's so upsetting,

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Speaker 1: you really owe it to yourself to do something. Go

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Speaker 1: back and say either go back and say fix it,

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Speaker 1: or go to someone else and tell them to fix it.

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Speaker 1: And just what you're looking up? What search term are

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Speaker 1: you using? It's that clown hair on side that Wait,

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Speaker 1: it could be worse. It could be this one. What

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Speaker 1: if Nate did the cruella and then like, why don't

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Speaker 1: one sign alec Yeah, that would be cool, that would

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Speaker 1: I don't even know how to fix this. Like what

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Speaker 1: if you get a T shirt that said I had lice?

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Speaker 1: Forgive me, shade it off, just start over. I think

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Speaker 1: that's what I have to do. You can get a

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Speaker 1: short cut that you used to have. You go back

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Speaker 1: to that Yeah. What sucks is you've had this now

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Speaker 1: for eighteen months, you've been growing it out. I feel

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Speaker 1: really bad for you. It's like mushroom cloud. Why don't

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Speaker 1: you get the way you used to have a cut

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Speaker 1: when you were Michael Jake Cox? Why don't you cut

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Speaker 1: it that seemed to work well for you? Yeah? I did.

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Speaker 1: I just don't like who would do this? Like, who

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Speaker 1: would you cut the hair and say this is gonna

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Speaker 1: look good? Someone who doesn't know curly hair? Or you

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Speaker 1: didn't work for curly hair. I mean, you didn't ask

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Speaker 1: for the curly hair specialist. You asked for the long

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Speaker 1: hair problem. Was the guy wearing black glasses and walking

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Speaker 1: with a stick? Curious? Okay, can we talk about something

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Speaker 1: else now? What else is there? Internet outages? I don't know,

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Speaker 1: didn't cause it this morning, could be I don't know,

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Speaker 1: you know what. We thought the day's biggest story would

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Speaker 1: be Nate's hair, and it turned out to be the

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Speaker 1: biggest story. But also means this internet outage thing, it's

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Speaker 1: it's I'm still trying to figure out the logistics behind

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Speaker 1: if it wasn't just one company affecting so many other companies.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, see It's weird because some websites work

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Speaker 1: sometimes and not others. Like now my Amazon has gone again.

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Speaker 1: I can't get on Amazon, but I can get back

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Speaker 1: on porn Hub. So I'm good. Yeah, I have a

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Speaker 1: little mini exercise for all of us if you care. Um,

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Speaker 1: I think I may have a problem. Uh. You know,

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Speaker 1: I checked out my internet, you know, my Instagram search

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Speaker 1: on my you know Instagram on Instagram. The discovery page.

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Speaker 1: This is what it gives me. This is what it

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Speaker 1: populates on the search. It's all cats. A cat. I've

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Speaker 1: been looking looking at too many cat videos, cat reels

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Speaker 1: on Instagram. It's it's all it shows me in the discovery.

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Speaker 1: That's a little magnifying glass there. So, so why don't

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Speaker 1: you get a cat? Don't know what you guys? What's

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Speaker 1: on yours? You see what's on mine? You know, Oh,

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Speaker 1: hot guys, hot guys, hot guys, guys, guys, guys, dancing dogs.

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Speaker 1: Scotty's got all dogs on his I think gave up

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Speaker 1: on me. I don't know. I got a lot of

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Speaker 1: elephants and oh, this really weird looking monkey. What is

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Speaker 1: that thing? Who's this lady suggestion for you? I've seen

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Speaker 1: videos of her before, yes she does. She's a really

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Speaker 1: good dancing. I'm just afraid she's gonna fall down that hill.

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Speaker 1: I swear I didn't search dogs nursing, but that's what

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Speaker 1: came up on mine. Oh that's so cute. What's this

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Speaker 1: dog doing? Oh my gosh. Oh it looks like it

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Speaker 1: got into my side drawer. It looks like Ne's hair.

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Speaker 1: Look at this guy. Look at this this guy. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh I love him. No Brettman, that guy starts every

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Speaker 1: video with good motherfucker in big every time. I have

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Speaker 1: a little too much Cruella coming up. Oh, Danielle, I

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Speaker 1: thought you look so great in your Cruella hair, and

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Speaker 1: yeah it looks awesome. Oh thank you. Dina with the

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Speaker 1: pink hair. Did the hair? Did the makeup from Mac Cosmetics?

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Speaker 1: Because it's actually their Mac Cosmetic Cruella line. Thought it

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Speaker 1: was your hair. A lot of people did think I

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Speaker 1: dyed my hair. No, they were Wiggs. But did you

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Speaker 1: go out after you had did not? I did not

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Speaker 1: look Gandhi for you. An elephant. Yes, that's a he's

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Speaker 1: got a giant penis. Yes, that's the whole point of

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Speaker 1: that video. That's yep. Oh my goodness, so is it

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Speaker 1: on my search because of the penis or the elephant.

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Speaker 1: Your husband was sending me some hilarious videos yesterday, the

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Speaker 1: what kind of tick is this? Did anyone else get that?

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Speaker 1: It's just me? Should I show it to the room

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Speaker 1: the hot guys making salads? Hey? Okay, this is the

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Speaker 1: first thing your hubby sent me. He said, Hey, what

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Speaker 1: kind of tick is this? Oh no, there's a tick

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Speaker 1: right there on the top of that. Not the middle leg,

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Speaker 1: giant wiener in between the thighs, by the way, that

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Speaker 1: is not real. We know who that is, and we

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Speaker 1: know that he's superimposed that. Oh yes, the tick looks

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Speaker 1: like the most photoshop thing I've ever seen in my life.

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Speaker 1: But the other thing was also quite astounding. That one

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Speaker 1: is superimposed as well. That's what Elvis searched, But the

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Speaker 1: elephant came up. Whenever I get a text from Alex,

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Speaker 1: I always know it's gonna be something that will make

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Speaker 1: me last. It's good to be married to a guy

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Speaker 1: who every time he texts someone they're expecting something dreamy

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Speaker 1: and dirty. Alright, time, all right, we didn't do anything, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Candy fifteen minute Morning Show