Speaker 1: Hey everybody. My name is Lindsay Young and I am
Speaker 1: a writer and assistant editor here with the Minnesota Vikings.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe that we are already on the sixth
Speaker 1: segment of Getting Open, a new content series that focuses
Speaker 1: on all things mental health. Over the first four weeks
Speaker 1: of the series, we talked to Vikings players Eric Kendricks,
Speaker 1: Jalen Holmes, Harrison hand Tyler Conklin about their respective journeys
Speaker 1: and stories around mental health. And then last week we
Speaker 1: sat down with General manager Rick Spielman and Chief Operating
Speaker 1: Officer Andrew Miller to talk about their emphasis on mental
Speaker 1: health within the Vikings organization, as well as to hear
Speaker 1: a little bit about Andrew's personal story with depression. Today,
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to chat with Chris Hockey. Now, some
Speaker 1: of you may know him from kay Fan's Power Trim
Speaker 1: morning show. He is the lead singer for the Chris
Speaker 1: Hockey Band, So he does a lot of stuff here
Speaker 1: in the Twin Cities, a lot of stuff around the
Speaker 1: Vikings organization, but he also has a very personal story
Speaker 1: around mental illness that he wants to share in order
Speaker 1: to help normalize the conversation and break down the stigma
Speaker 1: around this topic. So let's take a listen. Chris. I
Speaker 1: know that you have shared your story around mental health before.
Speaker 1: I think it was back in twenty seventeen, you did
Speaker 1: a really impactful interview with Carolevin's Jana Shortle. For those
Speaker 1: of us who may not have heard that interview maybe
Speaker 1: aren't familiar, can you share a little bit about your
Speaker 1: experience with mental health and specifically depression. Yeah. I grew
Speaker 1: up in a very small town back on the borders
Speaker 1: of Ohio and Indiana, and really, especially when I was
Speaker 1: growing up, there wasn't much of an emphasis on mental
Speaker 1: health and what was going on. If you were a
Speaker 1: nervous kid, you were a nervous kid. If you had
Speaker 1: little quirks and little picks, that's just part of who
Speaker 1: you were. And I had OCD in just a terrible way,
Speaker 1: just terrible all the way until honestly, until I was
Speaker 1: about twenty five. At specific points in my high school years,
Speaker 1: I had to do things four times. It was really
Speaker 1: really debilitating. Once I found a way to sort of
Speaker 1: conquer that. As mental illness does in a lot of times,
Speaker 1: a lot of ways, it just manifested in different ways,
Speaker 1: you know, my anxiety levels increased because the OCD was
Speaker 1: what I was doing to kind of take away the
Speaker 1: anxiety of the situations I was in. So the anxiety
Speaker 1: got worse, the depression got worse, and it really just
Speaker 1: got to a point where I knew that I needed
Speaker 1: to find someone to talk to. I needed to find
Speaker 1: help to deal with all the different demons I was
Speaker 1: fighting daily in my head. And that was a huge
Speaker 1: change in my life to the positive to first admit
Speaker 1: it that I needed help, and second to go actively
Speaker 1: find it. So when you use these words like OCD
Speaker 1: and anxiety and depression, were those things that you were
Speaker 1: able to identify or I guess label at that at
Speaker 1: the point that you first started dealing with them, or
Speaker 1: how did you kind of come to figure out this
Speaker 1: is what I'm dealing with and how did you cope
Speaker 1: with that? It's a great question. We I had no
Speaker 1: idea what was I hate to put it this way,
Speaker 1: but it's the way I would have put it back then.
Speaker 1: I had no idea what was wrong with me. I
Speaker 1: had a legitimate, literal compulsion to do things four times
Speaker 1: and I didn't know why. I thought there was just
Speaker 1: something broken within me. I didn't tell anybody. It was
Speaker 1: a secret, a giant secret. I didn't tell my dad,
Speaker 1: I didn't tell my closest friends. I didn't tell my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: It was it was obvious in some ways, you know,
Speaker 1: when she was leaving, I had to give her a
Speaker 1: kiss four times before she could leave. I had to
Speaker 1: check the house to make sure the doors were locked
Speaker 1: four times before I could leave. But I didn't know
Speaker 1: why I didn't. As I got away from the small
Speaker 1: town and went to college and got a little more worldly,
Speaker 1: I found out, you know, the names for the different
Speaker 1: things they've been afflicting me. But even then I didn't
Speaker 1: have any idea that there were ways to quote unquote
Speaker 1: fix it. And also there was a stigma to it
Speaker 1: that hopefully things like you're doing and things like we're
Speaker 1: doing here today are taking away because one of maybe
Speaker 1: the hardest hurtle, the highest hurtle between being who I
Speaker 1: was and being well was being able to talk to
Speaker 1: people about it, being able to admit that this was
Speaker 1: a situation I needed to deal with, and and and
Speaker 1: to having to admit that I wasn't strong enough to
Speaker 1: do it myself. So it took me a long time
Speaker 1: to find out what my issues were, and a lot
Speaker 1: longer than that to admit what my issues were. When
Speaker 1: you did kind of get to the point where you
Speaker 1: were able and willing to admit the things that you
Speaker 1: were going through, what was that like for you? There
Speaker 1: were different spots on the journey for me with that.
Speaker 1: When I was able to overcome the greater part of
Speaker 1: the OCD, the obsession, the obsession compulsive, that was a
Speaker 1: like the like the clouds cleared away and the sun
Speaker 1: finally came out moment for me, it was a life altering,
Speaker 1: life changing moment for me. It was it was being
Speaker 1: freed from the bird cage in a way that I
Speaker 1: can't even explain the joy that I felt when it
Speaker 1: came to the depression and the anxiety. That was a
Speaker 1: whole different journey for me to admit to myself that
Speaker 1: it was more than just needing to drink more caffeine
Speaker 1: or needing to see the sunny side of things, or
Speaker 1: to stop saying to myself, Hey, stop being down, what
Speaker 1: is your problem? You got a great life learning over
Speaker 1: time that first of all, there are reasons for it,
Speaker 1: and second of all that there are ways to help yourself.
Speaker 1: That was a long journey for me, but each step
Speaker 1: along the way, as trying lexapro for the first time
Speaker 1: and seeing that there were benefits to that. Finding a
Speaker 1: therapist who actually helped me was a big thing. And
Speaker 1: I say it that way because I saw two therapists
Speaker 1: that I didn't quite click with before I found one
Speaker 1: that I did, and for I've been told that's pretty quick.
Speaker 1: I think the biggest issue that a lot of folks
Speaker 1: have is that you try one therapist and you're like, well,
Speaker 1: that didn't work, and then you're done, and that's not
Speaker 1: the way to do it. I hear a lot these days,
Speaker 1: especially that people are trying zoom therapy with different doctors
Speaker 1: and such like that. I just think that's wonderful. What
Speaker 1: a great way to explore relationships with different therapists and
Speaker 1: find out if they're the right one for you before
Speaker 1: you commit to the long time, hard work that you
Speaker 1: need to commit to with one person. And so it's
Speaker 1: it's been a lot of different steps on my journey,
Speaker 1: but each time, um, you know, again, as I said,
Speaker 1: the OCD thing was the big sun coming out moment,
Speaker 1: but it got a little sunny or each step that
Speaker 1: I took, and you know, one of the weirdest things
Speaker 1: about that is when I realized that I didn't have
Speaker 1: to be happy every day, and that I was never
Speaker 1: going to be happy every day. And as silly as
Speaker 1: that may sound to somebody who isn't one of us,
Speaker 1: it's it's ever. You know, if you spend a lot
Speaker 1: of your time to press it, and with anxiety, a
Speaker 1: lot of people tell you, hey, buck up, man, let's
Speaker 1: see a little zip in you. Come on, let's go snap, snap,
Speaker 1: what's going on? Why are you so sad? You've got
Speaker 1: a great life, You've got a great family, and you
Speaker 1: hear that a lot, and you're like, you're right, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't know why I'm like this. I should
Speaker 1: be happy every day. When you realize that the gray
Speaker 1: is where most people live most of the time, it
Speaker 1: takes the pressure off and you don't try to force
Speaker 1: yourself to be happy, because what do you do when
Speaker 1: you're force yourself to be happy? You make yourself more depressed.
Speaker 1: I like that Earlier you brought up the idea of
Speaker 1: the stigma, and of course that's a lot what we're
Speaker 1: talking about with this series, breaking down the stigma, normalizing
Speaker 1: the conversation. Why do you think there is such a
Speaker 1: stigma around mental illness, and do you believe that that
Speaker 1: stigma is more prevalent in men for one reason or another.
Speaker 1: The second half of that, for obvious reasons. It is
Speaker 1: hard for me to answer because I only know it
Speaker 1: from a male perspective, But I really believe so, you know,
Speaker 1: and this was I guess more from my research that
Speaker 1: I've done throughout the years. But there is a whole
Speaker 1: lot of you got to be the strong guy. You
Speaker 1: got to buck up, man, you gotta get up and
Speaker 1: go to work. That's part of the deal. Yeah, today
Speaker 1: was a bad day, but guys have bad days and
Speaker 1: you just got to be strong and get through it.
Speaker 1: So I definitely think there's something to that. But I
Speaker 1: think also, you know, just the words themselves mental illness.
Speaker 1: For for a lot of people, and even for me,
Speaker 1: there's not much differentiating that between being depressed or having
Speaker 1: anxiety and being committed, you know, I mean, they sort
Speaker 1: of all seem the same. When you label something as
Speaker 1: a mental illness, it sounds really devastating and really debilitating
Speaker 1: and really on the edge, I guess. So I think
Speaker 1: that's the biggest stigma. Maybe the wording around the understanding
Speaker 1: around what mental illness is is colored by the words themselves.
Speaker 1: I like the word anxiety because I think that really
Speaker 1: puts a pinpoint on how so many of us feel.
Speaker 1: Depression is a very gloomy word, a very dark word,
Speaker 1: but again it's right on the money because that's where
Speaker 1: you're at when you're depressed. So there's a stigma to it.
Speaker 1: But the weird thing about that stigma to me is
Speaker 1: when I did the interview you spoke about with Jannah Shortle,
Speaker 1: when I wrote my song Happy and started really walking
Speaker 1: out into the public and talking about what was going on,
Speaker 1: I realized very quickly that there are way more of
Speaker 1: us than there are of people who don't deal with
Speaker 1: something like this, And so that stigma can be erased
Speaker 1: just by looking around and talking to people and realizing
Speaker 1: the guy in the cubicle over and the lady on
Speaker 1: the bus with you, and your neighbor they're probably suffering
Speaker 1: in some way as well. So if we all talk
Speaker 1: to each other a little bit more, I think the
Speaker 1: stigma goes away, and you go from being ashamed of
Speaker 1: it to being not proud, but a vocal advocate for
Speaker 1: yourself and for other people. Because you say you want
Speaker 1: to walk around to people. I say, yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 1: I feel where you're coming from. I feel the same way.
Speaker 1: Here's what helped me, what helped you. It creates community
Speaker 1: in some ways. There's probably going to be a lot
Speaker 1: of people listening to this interview who are familiar with
Speaker 1: you in one way or another. Right So, there might
Speaker 1: be familiar with your with your stage presence as the
Speaker 1: lead singer of the Kree Hockey Man. They might listen
Speaker 1: to you having so much fun on kay Fan's Power
Speaker 1: Trip morning show. You know, they might be familiar with
Speaker 1: you being silly and having fun with Aaron and Vikings connected,
Speaker 1: or maybe all of the above. But I think some
Speaker 1: people might say, how can someone who has that much
Speaker 1: fun and is that vibrant of a personality, is that
Speaker 1: much going on in his life? How are you able
Speaker 1: to still have that sham be happy even though you're
Speaker 1: also dealing with a level of depression. I think you'll
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying when I say this. You become
Speaker 1: a pretty good actor. You know, from a very young age,
Speaker 1: I hid the OCD, which again I can't overstate how
Speaker 1: debilitating it was. I learned to hide that, and you
Speaker 1: become a good actor. But also again I think that's
Speaker 1: another thing going back to the stigma that we were
Speaker 1: talking about. Every person's depression, every person's anxiety, every person's
Speaker 1: OCD affects them in different ways. As I've gotten older
Speaker 1: and gotten more of a handle on my issues and
Speaker 1: the medicines have, I've found the correct medicines to help
Speaker 1: fill in the holes that I needed to fill. It's
Speaker 1: been easier for me to be more up than down,
Speaker 1: but I legitimately do give myself permission to be down
Speaker 1: and said on days when that is how I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: I remind myself that is not a permanent thing, and
Speaker 1: I remind myself that there's always tomorrow. And when I
Speaker 1: talk to somebody who's having a really bad day, that's
Speaker 1: the number one thing I try to get across to
Speaker 1: them is if you're having a really bad day, like
Speaker 1: it's one of your worst days, do your best to
Speaker 1: go to bed as soon as you possibly can hit
Speaker 1: that reset button. That overwhelming fix of most things is
Speaker 1: going to sleep and waking up again the next day.
Speaker 1: And there's always a next days. So I find that
Speaker 1: knowledge to be really comforting, and a lot of times
Speaker 1: that knowledge that tomorrow is going to be better, and
Speaker 1: then maybe even later today is going to be better.
Speaker 1: Is the thing that gets me out of my spin,
Speaker 1: as I like to call it, out of the gray
Speaker 1: and into the sunshine. So I'm a pretty happy guy
Speaker 1: almost always. That's real. Um, sometimes I'm acting. I wanta lie.
Speaker 1: Is music cathartic for you? Is that healing for you?
Speaker 1: Because obviously music is a big part of life. Does
Speaker 1: that play any role on the mental illness that you
Speaker 1: deal with? Absolutely? I can. I can legitimately say music
Speaker 1: has saved my life a bunch of times. Um. You
Speaker 1: know the loneliness that I felt as a young man
Speaker 1: with everything that was going on inside me, and how
Speaker 1: weird I felt, how odd I felt. I found bands
Speaker 1: of every different stripe and I'm you know, I'm an
Speaker 1: old dude now, so I'm talking the eighties, but I'm talking.
Speaker 1: I would hear a song like calling on You by
Speaker 1: a band called Stryper, and it was like they were
Speaker 1: talking to me, and man, that saved me a lot
Speaker 1: of times. There was a song called I'll Be There
Speaker 1: for You by a band called Black and Blue that
Speaker 1: when I heard that, I was like, I hear you
Speaker 1: up there. Thank you. So in reality, at its very
Speaker 1: basic form, music has saved my life. It's been there
Speaker 1: for me. It's given me a way to communicate my feelings,
Speaker 1: even before I knew I was doing that. I look
Speaker 1: at songs that I wrote when I was in my twenties,
Speaker 1: and I was saying things in my songs that I
Speaker 1: couldn't say to people in real life. So music coming
Speaker 1: in from other folks has made me feel less alone.
Speaker 1: Music going out of me has given me a way
Speaker 1: to communicate my feelings without having to look somebody in
Speaker 1: the eye and tell them, because for a long time
Speaker 1: I couldn't do that. We've done several pieces of this
Speaker 1: series now, and something that's come up a lot in
Speaker 1: different ways in sort of this idea of a support system,
Speaker 1: whether that's family, only, friends, co workers. You know, probably
Speaker 1: looks different for everybody. What has that support system looked
Speaker 1: like for you in your life? Wow, it's been so
Speaker 1: important for me to be able to be honest with people,
Speaker 1: and it's been so cathartic to me to be there
Speaker 1: for other people as well. So my support system grows,
Speaker 1: you know, not as much during these times we're not
Speaker 1: out very much, but I can legitimately tell you it
Speaker 1: grows at every show that I do with my band,
Speaker 1: because almost every show somebody would come up to me
Speaker 1: afterwards and say your song happy, That's how I feel.
Speaker 1: And immediately, you know, even if I never see that
Speaker 1: person again, that's somebody in my support system and I'm
Speaker 1: in there is as well. So it's grown exponentially since
Speaker 1: I decided to come forward and talk to people. Before that, though,
Speaker 1: your best friends, the people who really listen when you're
Speaker 1: talking to them, those are the important ones. Those are
Speaker 1: the ones who you need to talk to because again
Speaker 1: I say it all the time, but they're probably suffering
Speaker 1: in some way as well. And when you know the
Speaker 1: friend I'm talking about, the friend who literally does listen
Speaker 1: to you, doesn't hear what you say, and then tell
Speaker 1: you how that affects them or how it relates to
Speaker 1: something in their life. If you're talking to somebody and
Speaker 1: they're really listening to you, that's the person you can
Speaker 1: open your heart too. And it starts with the first
Speaker 1: person that you talk to, the first person that's willing
Speaker 1: to listen, the first person you feel comfortable talking to,
Speaker 1: and then that gives you the gumption to talk to
Speaker 1: more people, and it goes both ways. I can't tell
Speaker 1: you again how for those If somebody's watching this right
Speaker 1: now and is willing to take that chance to talk
Speaker 1: to somebody, what you're going to find out is that
Speaker 1: person wants to listen, and it helps just to talk,
Speaker 1: even if they don't know the answers. In fact, they
Speaker 1: probably don't know the answers, even if they want to
Speaker 1: know the answers. That's not the point. But when they
Speaker 1: talk back to you, and then you talk to somebody
Speaker 1: else and they talk back to you. Just having a community,
Speaker 1: my gosh, that helps so much. You're because you don't
Speaker 1: feel alone anymore. Man. That's the darkest place, isn't it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna actually build right off of that question
Speaker 1: into the next one, and that is you mentioned not
Speaker 1: being able to go out a lot and stuff right now,
Speaker 1: You know these pasts basically twelve months, just a lot
Speaker 1: of heavy stuff. There are people right who have dealt
Speaker 1: with mental illness or different challenges anxiety, depression, etc. For many,
Speaker 1: many years, and so it might be more difficult now,
Speaker 1: but they have a little bit of a toolbox or
Speaker 1: they know what's going on. But there's a large population
Speaker 1: of people who are dealing with these things for the
Speaker 1: very first time and maybe don't know what they are.
Speaker 1: These feelings are scary, they're foreign to them. Would you
Speaker 1: say anything else to those people who are kind of
Speaker 1: experiencing these things for the first time during such a
Speaker 1: difficult time of life. Yeah, that is such an important point,
Speaker 1: and it's so valid because you do see that so often.
Speaker 1: In fact, I've had some instances as of late where
Speaker 1: I've spoken to people and found out just how overwhelmed
Speaker 1: in the therapists are and such with people looking for help.
Speaker 1: Right now, I would say to anybody experiencing it for
Speaker 1: the first time, the same thing I would say to
Speaker 1: somebody who's been dealing with their whole life. And it's
Speaker 1: exactly what we talked about a little bit earlier. Do
Speaker 1: your best to be honest with people, with people that
Speaker 1: you care about that care about you. Again, great chance
Speaker 1: right now they're feeling the same way, but just talking
Speaker 1: to somebody about it, it's going to relieve so much tension.
Speaker 1: Once you open up a dialogue with people, you're gonna
Speaker 1: say things to them you didn't even know. We're true,
Speaker 1: They're going to say things back to you and you're
Speaker 1: going to relate and didn't realize they were true to
Speaker 1: you as well. But this is this is not a
Speaker 1: small club that you have joined if you were experiencing
Speaker 1: this for the first time. There are a lot of
Speaker 1: us out there. And again, there are people like me.
Speaker 1: I'm fifty years old. I've been living with this most
Speaker 1: of my life and if I can help you, I
Speaker 1: certainly will. So please reach out even it doesn't It
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be a professional. It can be just
Speaker 1: your buddy, and it can be a strange guy on
Speaker 1: the radio talks far jokes most of his life reach out.
Speaker 1: People are willing to listen. Well, Chris, thank you so much. Um.
Speaker 1: I just love the heart that you have for this.
Speaker 1: I know when I called you, I told you you know,
Speaker 1: I said, hey, Chris, this is this content that I
Speaker 1: want to do. What do you think? And you were like,
Speaker 1: I'm in, Like you didn't even have any other questions,
Speaker 1: And I can just you know, hear that your voice
Speaker 1: and in wanting to share with other people. So thank
Speaker 1: you so much for being willing to share your story
Speaker 1: to help other people. That's a great idea and I'm
Speaker 1: so glad you're doing this. And I thank you for
Speaker 1: including me. And I literally just want to give everybody
Speaker 1: a hug, you know. I just want to want to
Speaker 1: make everybody okay, including you and you and you and
Speaker 1: you and you and you, all of you. I want
Speaker 1: you all to be okay. Let's all be okay together.
Speaker 1: Thanks Chris, Thank you, Dear, big thank you to Chris, who,
Speaker 1: over the past three or four years has become especially
Speaker 1: passionate about sharing his story and also connecting with others
Speaker 1: who have similar experiences around mental health. Big thanks to
Speaker 1: you as well for tuning in, and I encourage you
Speaker 1: to keep an eye on all Vikings digital platforms for
Speaker 1: upcoming Getting Open features.