Speaker 1: Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, dred minutes
Speaker 1: a week was enough, I think again. He's the last
Speaker 1: remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
Speaker 1: He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
Speaker 1: the rich pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of
Speaker 1: hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
Speaker 1: and here, very happy and glorious Sunday, another edition of
Speaker 1: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny gen As.
Speaker 1: We are slaving away over the podcast microphones even on
Speaker 1: a Sunday, and we we survived, and you, Danny G
Speaker 1: survived having to put up with my nonsense of the
Speaker 1: Mallard mini series Parts one in two of my sojourn
Speaker 1: across the country. Nice to peek inside your travels there.
Speaker 1: And there's a couple of places I want to go
Speaker 1: see now. I actually saw a Facebook video last night
Speaker 1: of a home that was on stilts in North Carolina
Speaker 1: and it fell into the Atlantic. Well, that sounds great.
Speaker 1: I recommend if you do travel to that part of
Speaker 1: the country. The t s a in Norfolk, there's a
Speaker 1: back room there, they'll really they'll really touch you in
Speaker 1: places you haven't been touched in a long time. If
Speaker 1: you're interested in that sign up, you can go right
Speaker 1: over there. When I saw that Facebook video last night,
Speaker 1: thought I was like, all height, Ben was just talking
Speaker 1: about North Carolina. For sure, there's some beautiful houses there,
Speaker 1: and not that they're in my budget range. But if
Speaker 1: you had a lot of money and you wanted to
Speaker 1: buy a house right on the ocean, and you you're
Speaker 1: not afraid of the occasional hurricane the throwing your house,
Speaker 1: and you can afford afford the insurance, the The sister
Speaker 1: in law who's got married the wedding we went to,
Speaker 1: she rented out a house with a bunch of her
Speaker 1: college friends and it was like a beach front house,
Speaker 1: sixteen bedrooms and like twelve bathrooms. It was insane. It
Speaker 1: was this mega mansion and it was like three million dollars,
Speaker 1: which is a lot of money, but a house like
Speaker 1: that in l a Oh, forget about exactly. And it's
Speaker 1: right on literally there was a path to the Atlantic
Speaker 1: Ocean from the house. It was beachfront property and it
Speaker 1: was like well, and there were other houses across the
Speaker 1: street that were not that bad. All right, let's get
Speaker 1: we have mail bag. Are you ready for the mail bag?
Speaker 1: Then let's get right to it. Yeah. Just a couple
Speaker 1: of thousand more downloads on this podcast and we could
Speaker 1: buy one of those homes. Yeah that's all we need.
Speaker 1: Ye all right, thank you? Ohio. All So, the first
Speaker 1: email comes from Adrian in the Mile High City. Adrian
Speaker 1: is a loyal podcast minion and a longtime fan of
Speaker 1: the show. He's his happy late birthday, Ben, I hope
Speaker 1: it was a memorable one. Please play the uncut lee
Speaker 1: Elia rant again on the podcast sometime. It's an f
Speaker 1: and playground for the sea suckers makes me laugh crack
Speaker 1: up every time. Oh yeah, that's a great line. I love.
Speaker 1: My favorite line is pent of the world's f and
Speaker 1: working the other fifteen people come out here, which is
Speaker 1: the lead into that line. Great, so so wonderful. Adrian says,
Speaker 1: how was your trip to the Midwest? How's the family
Speaker 1: and appling? How is the wedding on the East Coast?
Speaker 1: Well we addressed all of that in the Mallard mini series, Adrian,
Speaker 1: he says, what is a Rerigley field like since it
Speaker 1: was renovated? Well, I use the analogy. It's like a
Speaker 1: little bit of disney Esque and Downtown Disney when you
Speaker 1: were visiting Disneyland Adrian in California a few months back,
Speaker 1: So you know what that's like. He says, did you
Speaker 1: see Doc Mike while you were there? That that's something
Speaker 1: we didn't address, Danny. I did reach out to Doc
Speaker 1: Mike Goat and Doc was in Florida with a patient
Speaker 1: in air quotes, and so he was not available. He
Speaker 1: he said he was going if if he had been
Speaker 1: in Chicago, he would have driven to the Wisconsin Meet
Speaker 1: and greet in Appleton and uh, and so he asked
Speaker 1: about deep dish. I ate a bunch of deep dishpeach,
Speaker 1: three or four different deep dish pizzas. Uh party. I
Speaker 1: think you only eat a couple of pieces of those
Speaker 1: things and then you're full. I wish I was back
Speaker 1: in my fat days when I could eat a whole pie,
Speaker 1: but I don't have that skill anymore. Adrian says, I
Speaker 1: was bummed out the here about your wedding ring. I
Speaker 1: heard a lot about this, Danny the podcast. I I
Speaker 1: mentioned the snaffoo at the beach. He says, you should
Speaker 1: look in He named a silicone ring here, he says
Speaker 1: the ring he wears, and he's got a physical job.
Speaker 1: He says at the watermeter pit he could easily lose
Speaker 1: his real wedding man. So he says they run twenty
Speaker 1: to twenty five dollars each and are durable, and he
Speaker 1: says he's had his for three years. Uh. He also
Speaker 1: mentioned the incredible Hulk toe nail situation. He says, how
Speaker 1: is your toe nail holding up? Not good? Um? My
Speaker 1: toe is fine. It just looks really nasty, and I
Speaker 1: feel bad when any time I walk by kids and
Speaker 1: they look at my tone. Said, boy, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be like that guy when I get older. You
Speaker 1: should have showed that to the t s A agents
Speaker 1: in the back room. Yeah yeah, hey, yeah, you wanna
Speaker 1: mess with me? I got a magical toe. I'll give
Speaker 1: you that toe. You want to pat me down into
Speaker 1: a body frisk Yeah, make sure you touch my orange
Speaker 1: toe from the goo that's coming out of where the
Speaker 1: nail used to be. Adrian also says, my Bronco orange
Speaker 1: number three Russell Wilson Home Jersey finally arrived. I see
Speaker 1: it there and now he's got his kids. I like
Speaker 1: the hat. I love you can't see this, Danny. But
Speaker 1: he's got the old Bronco hat, the old Bronco logo,
Speaker 1: which you know I like. I'm I'm not a Bronco fan,
Speaker 1: and you certainly aren't your a Raider fan, but I
Speaker 1: like that logo. Old school one, great old school drop
Speaker 1: I found. I think his name was Hector. Do you
Speaker 1: remember cool Dolup Broncos lost? Yo, Yes, that was a
Speaker 1: good one to us, that one. Yeah, cool Broncos lost,
Speaker 1: he says. The Orange and Blue Wrecking Crew headed to
Speaker 1: l A for the holiday. Oh, that's right, Broncos and
Speaker 1: Rams on Christmas Day. Look at that. I have to
Speaker 1: go to that game. That would mean I have to
Speaker 1: get out of family engagements. I don't know if that
Speaker 1: will be allowed. Uh, says ps. I was cracking up
Speaker 1: at the best of Fifth Hour podcast is past weekend.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Danny G the microphone Throttler for putting
Speaker 1: those together. He enjoyed that. Uh, and you did did
Speaker 1: a fine job on that, putting all those hides. Now
Speaker 1: we are we fully out of material. So if I
Speaker 1: take any more time off, there's no more material that
Speaker 1: we can't do that kind of thing anymore. I could
Speaker 1: maybe scrape up one more episode like that. Alright, So
Speaker 1: twenty years at Fox Puts Radio, we've got four podcasts
Speaker 1: and material. Yeah, I mean each one was about forty
Speaker 1: minutes long, so do the math. I mean. It was
Speaker 1: cool though, to find that many old clips of you
Speaker 1: and your voice changed as the years went on. Well,
Speaker 1: you became very manly, but you sounded like a teenager
Speaker 1: at the beginning, very masculine life. Life kicked me in
Speaker 1: the nuts a few times. And then royals on the road,
Speaker 1: aren't Ben Miller. I don't need to bring that royals
Speaker 1: having their problems on the road. I'm Ben Mallock. All right,
Speaker 1: come back, pay at touching. It's time from me. I'll
Speaker 1: call all right. Next up we go to Let's see
Speaker 1: here says boys one moment making the Sunday Mailbag magic
Speaker 1: happen again, Ben, welcome back. A few comments. So this
Speaker 1: is I believe from our favorite couple, Helen and Stu
Speaker 1: in Palmetto Bay, Florida. Uh And they say a few
Speaker 1: a few comments a Ben Mallow show, fill in observations
Speaker 1: while you were on vacation, any question for both you
Speaker 1: and Danny J. First came suffrage. First came suffrage then
Speaker 1: came the Montana, white sheet wearing woman of the k
Speaker 1: k K. Wow. That's right, Danny, g fire up the
Speaker 1: racist drop, as Helen says, here, we're going there first
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago, was it
Speaker 1: black hole or black hole that Tammy and Montana was
Speaker 1: referring to her anger issues and mental illness aside? We
Speaker 1: have no time for her deep rooted racism to Wow,
Speaker 1: Dammy's racist. Uh, the email continues, We're putting that p
Speaker 1: one horsehead out to pasture. Wow. Helen is vicious, vicious
Speaker 1: with these emails. Uh, email continues Ben. On a personal note,
Speaker 1: we can always make more money, but we can't make
Speaker 1: more time. We wish you and your equally hard working
Speaker 1: wife would have taken an extra week for yourselves. Well
Speaker 1: that's very kind, Helen, and you are correct. That's one
Speaker 1: of the things that I've learned over my life as
Speaker 1: I have lost a number of relatives and my parents
Speaker 1: and whatnot, that that's the thing. Like you money. You know,
Speaker 1: you have a lot of moneys. Great to have a
Speaker 1: lot of money. You want to, like certainly a little
Speaker 1: better life. But the one thing that you can't put
Speaker 1: a price tag on at his time, and you have
Speaker 1: no idea how much of it you have, how much
Speaker 1: you've used, how much is left. And so I I
Speaker 1: agree with you on that, but I like to work,
Speaker 1: and I live in a great place. I live in
Speaker 1: a good location in the north Woods here, and traveling
Speaker 1: is expensive. So those are all the variables involved in that.
Speaker 1: Helen says, breaking news, the worst NFL decision ever by
Speaker 1: Fox and Rupert murrach Uh, He says, not resigning Aikman
Speaker 1: and Buck, but giving the colorless and lifeless Tom Brady
Speaker 1: three hundred seventy million over ten years, more than Aikman
Speaker 1: and Buck combined per year at ESPN. Says Helen, I
Speaker 1: did a monologue about this the other night, Danny. I
Speaker 1: do not believe Brady is gonna be very good. I'm good.
Speaker 1: I'm not like upset that he got the money. Good
Speaker 1: for him, he got the money, but it just continues
Speaker 1: the jock occracy. We'll see how this works out. Uh.
Speaker 1: Brady brings a lot of revenue in because he's a
Speaker 1: big name, and even at three five million, I'm pretty
Speaker 1: confident the beancounters at Fox have done a cost benefit
Speaker 1: analysis and determined they're still going to make money on
Speaker 1: that contract. Yeah, I think he'll do okay, and he's
Speaker 1: going to be more of an ambassador than anything he
Speaker 1: was entertaining. Although there was some production value to it.
Speaker 1: Remember the balls song we used to play. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't touch those balls. I didn't. And somebody put
Speaker 1: together the whole montage of the balls and use the
Speaker 1: tea pain the effects on it. So I'll insert that
Speaker 1: right here. Some guys like a round and some guys
Speaker 1: like a vantage. Guys like, to me, those are all
Speaker 1: perfect to meet the perfect. You got a feelings, you know,
Speaker 1: I grab it, I grab it perfect. Those things up
Speaker 1: because it throws up and block them away. Balls perfect,
Speaker 1: like I said, I had. Nope, yeah, ah, some good
Speaker 1: balls memories there. But that was one of the fun
Speaker 1: scandals that we got to that dissect there. How many monologues?
Speaker 1: How many ball monologues did you do? Oh? It was great.
Speaker 1: I was using all different ball analogies. I was wonderful.
Speaker 1: It was so great, so glorious. I used that we
Speaker 1: needed were juggling like eight different balls. It was a
Speaker 1: lot I was. I was holding ball, touching balls, you name.
Speaker 1: It had a lot of balls. Anyway, Uh, the email continuously,
Speaker 1: very lengthy, very lengthy message from our friend Ellen and Stu,
Speaker 1: both our friends there in Palmetto Bay, Florida. She says, Now,
Speaker 1: as Warner Wolf would say, let's go to the Ben
Speaker 1: Mallers show. Fill in audio tape. She's not a fan
Speaker 1: here of Chris Plane, she says, or as we refer
Speaker 1: to him as Vladimir Gluten. Wow. One out of ten,
Speaker 1: Brian No. Five out of ten on the Helen and
Speaker 1: Stu scale, says the best drop of the week maybe
Speaker 1: the year Eddie Garcia and to Brian know I'm here
Speaker 1: every night, You're just a visitor. Wow did they say that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. How about shut up man Moncy? Helen
Speaker 1: not a fan of Monsey. Uh, took a shot at
Speaker 1: her man her scorecard. Yeah, she's breaking down all the
Speaker 1: people that have been on the show. I thought Monsey
Speaker 1: did a good job. It is one of those things though,
Speaker 1: on sports talk radio, like put a email on sports
Speaker 1: talk radio and there's either people that love it or
Speaker 1: can't stand it, and there's very few people in the middle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and most women are caddy, so they actually don't like
Speaker 1: hearing women on sports talk which is interesting. It is odd,
Speaker 1: but then you have like the creepy guys that hear
Speaker 1: a female on sports radio and want to sleep with
Speaker 1: them and think, you know, that's always a and in
Speaker 1: their imagination that said woman wants them of course, wants
Speaker 1: of creepy tweets to follow. I feel bad for the
Speaker 1: ladies here now. You you know, getting attention is good
Speaker 1: to a point. But I worked with Karen Kay and
Speaker 1: kk would get these really wild prison letters from dudes
Speaker 1: that were in the in the jail for like murder ands,
Speaker 1: wild stuff, and they were all they really loved k
Speaker 1: big fans of her work. Boys. In closing, will Tom
Speaker 1: Bady be the next horrible Joe Montana in the broadcast booth?
Speaker 1: I don't think he's gonna last ten years. I believe
Speaker 1: that's not gonna happen, but he will last more than
Speaker 1: Joe Montana. Montana lasted nine games and some playoff games,
Speaker 1: nine games and some playoff games and then quit over
Speaker 1: at NBC and the email sign never from nags Head,
Speaker 1: North Carolina, Helen and Stu Palmetto Bay, Florida. Okay, I
Speaker 1: think Brady will be Okay. You've seen his personality blossom
Speaker 1: since he left the Patriots, regime, and he's been more
Speaker 1: likable to a point. Yeah, but the problem in Howard
Speaker 1: co Sell with the term jock ocracy, he brought this up.
Speaker 1: The problem is these guys are part of a fraternity,
Speaker 1: and to be truly great, you've got to step on
Speaker 1: some toes. You've got to rip certain people and tell
Speaker 1: stories that that old line, what happens in the locker
Speaker 1: room stays in the locker room, what happens in Vegas
Speaker 1: stays and things. You gotta tell some of those stories.
Speaker 1: The reason, part of the reason Charles Barkley is so
Speaker 1: great is he's willing to press the boundaries and he
Speaker 1: doesn't give a crap. Well, maybe Brady will surprise everybody
Speaker 1: and do a little bit of that. I wonder how
Speaker 1: I set Peyton Manning is that Peyton's got a lot
Speaker 1: of money, But that could have been him, right, that
Speaker 1: could have been Peyton Manning getting that contract, cut that meat.
Speaker 1: They should put Gronk on the sideline, by the way,
Speaker 1: in the Gronkmobile, the gronckmobile. Well, he's he's got a
Speaker 1: job lined up for him. It is odd that Tom
Speaker 1: Brady is getting to do normally, you have to play
Speaker 1: for the Cowboys, to get this kind of deal, right
Speaker 1: is isn't that normally how this works? What a brilliant movie.
Speaker 1: I did say that I would give Fox management credit.
Speaker 1: They wanted Brady. Every network wanted Brady. And when they
Speaker 1: let Aikman and Buck leave, people were like, what are
Speaker 1: they doing? I can't believe it. I can't believe they
Speaker 1: let Aikman and and Buck leave and trade back essentially
Speaker 1: the ESPN. But they must have had some kind of
Speaker 1: inkling that Brady was going to agree to a deal
Speaker 1: to join them, and so they essentially blocked ESPN out
Speaker 1: from getting Tom Brady. Because ESPN has spent all the
Speaker 1: money on Aikman and Buck, there was no seat for
Speaker 1: Tom Brady. It was a brilliant move. If that's you know,
Speaker 1: it's not really my cup of you know what, But
Speaker 1: for them that was wonderful. Yes, we do. Ozzy momentum
Speaker 1: rights in he says, good day, lads. A few questions
Speaker 1: for you. If you were in the military, what branch
Speaker 1: would you want to be in? Yeah? So the the
Speaker 1: answer here, Uh, from a logistical standpoint, I would say
Speaker 1: the coast Guard would be the way to go. If
Speaker 1: I was smaller and I could fit in a like
Speaker 1: a fighter jet. I would say the uh, the air
Speaker 1: Force would be cool, but I I can't. And I've
Speaker 1: had a lot of friends who are Marines who say
Speaker 1: they do not like the army, and I know vice versa.
Speaker 1: So I guess army would be higher up on the list.
Speaker 1: What about you, daddy, if you had you going to
Speaker 1: the military, what branch would you be? I went coast
Speaker 1: Guard with a winket and nod to several other branches
Speaker 1: in the middle. Rry, what about you? I guess I
Speaker 1: would follow in my grandfather's footsteps. He was a high
Speaker 1: ranking Army back in the day for World War Two.
Speaker 1: On the way he worked his way up, he put
Speaker 1: out fires, so he was on their firefighting squad, which
Speaker 1: was kind of cool. But any down plane or chopper
Speaker 1: him and his crew had to put those fires out.
Speaker 1: So he saw a lot of ship for sure. He
Speaker 1: came back pretty messed up. Um, But like you said,
Speaker 1: it would be nice flying a jet. We grew up
Speaker 1: with the movie Top Gun, and all of us after
Speaker 1: that were like, be the best of the best. Wasn't
Speaker 1: there another Top Gun movie that's coming out? Yeah? They
Speaker 1: didn't laying it forever because of Covid. Okay, it was
Speaker 1: supposed to come out a couple of years ago, and
Speaker 1: I did see a trailer. I guess it's coming out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's coming out soon. I saw some billboards
Speaker 1: for it, so that that usually means within a month
Speaker 1: or two it's coming out. But but who in the summertimes?
Speaker 1: Before you know it, it's gonna be the summer movie rush,
Speaker 1: all right. Another question from Ozzy Momentum. He says, if
Speaker 1: the apocalypse comes, where would you want to run and hide?
Speaker 1: I think Australia might be good, although after all these
Speaker 1: lockdowns recently, I don't know about Australia. Is there some
Speaker 1: kind of weird island out in the middle? What about Guam?
Speaker 1: Could I go to Guam? Would that be okay? We
Speaker 1: talked about hiding in Costa Rica. Yeah, Costa Rica would
Speaker 1: not be bad. And by the way, you're right, I
Speaker 1: just looked it up. That Maverick movie coming out may
Speaker 1: no good? So the end of the one yeah, all right? Cool.
Speaker 1: One more from Ozzi Momentum says, what's the difference between
Speaker 1: Tammy and Montana and a truck stop prostitute? Ozzy Momentum says,
Speaker 1: the prostitute can claim condoms as a working expense. Wow,
Speaker 1: Ozzy Momentum says, I stand with Helen and Stu. Now
Speaker 1: that's a plot twist, Ozzy Momentum on team Helen and Stu.
Speaker 1: And now there are there warring factions among the Mallard
Speaker 1: militia here, Danny G. Warring factions? Wow today, Mike, alright,
Speaker 1: what is next here? Let's keep the fun going here?
Speaker 1: And that's right, I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Kevin in Kansas writes into the mail bag on the
Speaker 1: fifth hour, says, dear Ben and Danny G. I very
Speaker 1: much enjoyed the podcast last week, the Trips down Memory Lane.
Speaker 1: That's right all, Danny G. On that, he said, I'd
Speaker 1: never heard the recording of Coop and the Hot Dogs.
Speaker 1: I was laughing hard at first, and then I was
Speaker 1: nearly gagging. How how did that bit not win a Marconi?
Speaker 1: And did Coop suffer any later effects? Now, Coop it
Speaker 1: was all right, and remember though he had some green
Speaker 1: relish coming out of his nose. Oh yeah, that was yeah.
Speaker 1: The Marconi thing. Yeah, to submit the Marconi you have
Speaker 1: to where we didn't submit it. It's hard to win
Speaker 1: if you don't submit it. Can you submit it retroactively?
Speaker 1: I don't know the rules, I I do. I do
Speaker 1: realize from previous conversations with Alf the alienal Pinter, who
Speaker 1: was desperately trying to get me to win a Marconi
Speaker 1: that somebody has to submit it by a certain date.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of red tape at that, and I
Speaker 1: don't like dealing with red tape. No. I remember our
Speaker 1: company sending me emails because they gave some audio to
Speaker 1: the Marconi board for Clay Travis back in the day. Okay,
Speaker 1: and so I had to chop up audio from certain
Speaker 1: shows where there was a lot of laughter and some
Speaker 1: of his better moments on the air, and they submitted it.
Speaker 1: But you're right there was a cutoff date. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: I can assure you, Kevin, that the company will not
Speaker 1: be submitting any of my content for a Marconi award,
Speaker 1: So you don't worry about talk alright. Next up on
Speaker 1: the mail bag, on the back and back and back
Speaker 1: and back and bag and bagging. I think, is that
Speaker 1: how Farrell used to do it back in the day,
Speaker 1: something thinks, But then he would take a shot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have any alcohol here, Mike, and Fullerton says, hey, Ben,
Speaker 1: thanks for the story about ripping your toenail off. A
Speaker 1: couple weeks ago. My dad was born with messed up
Speaker 1: toenails that he passed onto a few of my siblings,
Speaker 1: but luckily not me. My question for both of you,
Speaker 1: if you were single, would you date a girl with
Speaker 1: really ugly feet or would that be a deal breaker? Alright, So,
Speaker 1: first of all, Mike, I'm not foot obsessed, and I
Speaker 1: feel if you were to do a checklist of things
Speaker 1: you could work around, bad feet is pretty high on that. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's fine because they have these things called socks, Danny, right.
Speaker 1: I mean, if if a young lady is just you know,
Speaker 1: she's beautiful in every way other than her feet, who
Speaker 1: the hell cares? Just make sure she keeps the socks on.
Speaker 1: You're good to go, right, that's the trick. How are
Speaker 1: you gonna make sure she doesn't wear some chalk gloves
Speaker 1: or some flip flops? Because there are some women with
Speaker 1: some pretty beat up feet, But yet they let them
Speaker 1: breathe and they let him out there for the whole
Speaker 1: world to see. Now, you gotta know what you got
Speaker 1: and what you don't have. Like I I know, I
Speaker 1: I should be covered at all times. I don't have
Speaker 1: I'm not built like a Donnis, so I cover up.
Speaker 1: I'm absolutely naked right now. But if if your feet
Speaker 1: or your weak link, if that's your kryptonite, then just
Speaker 1: you to work with, you to work with. How would
Speaker 1: you nicely tell her though, that she has Chewbacca feet?
Speaker 1: I would just if she kept bringing sandals to the house,
Speaker 1: I would just throw them away. So, and I don't
Speaker 1: know what happened. Somebody must be taking your sandals. Oh
Speaker 1: that's right, it's the trash man. The trash man is
Speaker 1: taking your sandals. Anyway, all right, what is next here?
Speaker 1: Let's see you? Uh, let's over that al right, william writes,
Speaker 1: and he says, hello, Benn, did you go to a
Speaker 1: Timber Rattlers game? Went in Appleton next to us? Sarrios.
Speaker 1: I go to that restaurant on the way to the stadium.
Speaker 1: I did see the ballpark right down the street, great
Speaker 1: pictures from Nag's Head, been there many times. A green
Speaker 1: Bay native, Williams says, currently living in New Hampshire, goes Celtics.
Speaker 1: So he says, I did not get to a Timber
Speaker 1: Rattlers game. It was the weather was bad enough, and
Speaker 1: I knew I had tickets to a cub game and
Speaker 1: the weather was gonna suck there as well. But I
Speaker 1: would I would love to go to a Timber Rattlers
Speaker 1: game at some point next time I'm in in Appleton.
Speaker 1: Maybe we can do a Mallard meat and greet the
Speaker 1: ballpark and throwing a pictu or something like that. Tommy Lee,
Speaker 1: not that, Tommy Lee. But you've gotten at a different time.
Speaker 1: Be in Maryland right soon, says been in all of
Speaker 1: your travels career and flights to Hawaii, any airplane mechanical
Speaker 1: issues or close calls things, and this is awesome for you, Danny. No,
Speaker 1: I I've never I've had turbulence on flights where it
Speaker 1: was it was bumpety bumpety bumpitty bumpitty bumpety, and your
Speaker 1: questioning what the hell is going on? But I never
Speaker 1: got to the point where I thought, well, this could
Speaker 1: be game over. The worst experience I've ever had, we
Speaker 1: told on the podcast couple weeks ago. At O'Hare, we
Speaker 1: had taxied away from the gate and we were waiting
Speaker 1: for clearance to take off. Some yahoo at the airline
Speaker 1: did not check the forecast and we got stuck. There
Speaker 1: were no gates available. They they left us on the
Speaker 1: the plan on the uh what do you ever call
Speaker 1: I don't know what the term is, but whatever that
Speaker 1: is the tarmac. Yeah, they left us out in the
Speaker 1: tarmac for like four hours and they changed the law.
Speaker 1: You're as he goes how to do that anymore. But
Speaker 1: that was like the worst experience on the plane. Did
Speaker 1: you have any flights to any that were you know?
Speaker 1: Up and then yeah, one for me it was a
Speaker 1: flight to New Orleans. Wasn't a mechanical issue. It was
Speaker 1: a weather issue. They couldn't land in New Orleans because
Speaker 1: of some pocket of bad weather right over the airport.
Speaker 1: The jet just kept circling, just kept circling, waiting and
Speaker 1: waiting for a weather break. The captain gets on the
Speaker 1: intercom the speaker and tells all of us that we're
Speaker 1: almost out of fuel. Oh great, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: So now everybody's anxious and already overwhelmed because we've been
Speaker 1: on this flight for way too damn long. We had
Speaker 1: to be rerouted to land somewhere else to refuel. Then
Speaker 1: we had to take off again and fly back to
Speaker 1: New Orleans and still circle around the airport some more,
Speaker 1: why didn't you just get out wherever they landed and
Speaker 1: you go on your way and figure out how to
Speaker 1: get back to New Orleans Once they refueled and got
Speaker 1: back there, they only had a circle a couple of
Speaker 1: times to finally find a weather break, and then they
Speaker 1: landed and we got off the flight. But I saw
Speaker 1: people like kissing the ground when we got off the plane.
Speaker 1: I beg Yeah, it was one of those flights. It
Speaker 1: should have been five and a half hours and it
Speaker 1: turned into like a ten hour fiasco. Yeah. I've been
Speaker 1: on flights that we get stuck in that holding pattern,
Speaker 1: but never to the point where they had to land
Speaker 1: at a different airport and then go back. I've never
Speaker 1: had that happen, but I've had it. Sucks when you
Speaker 1: get close to a destination and it's like you're almost
Speaker 1: at the finish line and then you just going you
Speaker 1: keep going in circles, like what's the point? You know?
Speaker 1: You get so excited you're close to getting off a
Speaker 1: plane and then bam, all right, who is next year?
Speaker 1: Let's see page Dan, You've got males mark right? Since
Speaker 1: why do female sideline reporters have to giggle so much?
Speaker 1: And keep telling us about all this personal bs. Well,
Speaker 1: the giggle thing is not just women, it's pretty much
Speaker 1: everybody on TV. It's chuckles, it's chuckles, chuckles, chuckles. And
Speaker 1: the personal bs. That is because of market research that
Speaker 1: the people that put TV broadcast together are convinced that
Speaker 1: a way to expand their audience is to tell personal stories.
Speaker 1: That this will talk at the heartstrings of the non
Speaker 1: hardcore female fan. That's right, I said it, and they
Speaker 1: will pay more attention because they hear the story about
Speaker 1: some guy that came from the hard scrabble streets and
Speaker 1: and I had to do this, that and the other
Speaker 1: thing just to make it. And as a wife that's
Speaker 1: got this problem, you know the kid, this got this one.
Speaker 1: Those are the kind of stories that they love because
Speaker 1: they think it tugs at the heartstrings and gets people
Speaker 1: to to watch longer that wouldn't normally watch. If you
Speaker 1: talk about how you had to change your ship diaper
Speaker 1: this morning, and the lady at homes like, oh, I
Speaker 1: did too, I changed one of those dirty diapers this
Speaker 1: morning too. Yeah, Yeah, that's all this some of it.
Speaker 1: I got Maylor, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah. Patricia from
Speaker 1: Lost Wages Nevada via Rhode Islands says, So Band, with
Speaker 1: all that traveling, which airport did you find to be
Speaker 1: the best? I was gonna say the Norfolk Airport, but
Speaker 1: then I had my little T s A running, so
Speaker 1: it wasn't that. Dallas is very big and efficient. I
Speaker 1: love the smaller airports in l A. The airport, I
Speaker 1: hate l A X. But in the l A area,
Speaker 1: Long Beach, Orange County, Burbank, any of the sign me up.
Speaker 1: Those are the airports to travel out of. You might
Speaker 1: pay a little more, but it's worth it in the end.
Speaker 1: And they've spent a lot of money over there at
Speaker 1: l A X to try to figure out how to
Speaker 1: make it better. The problem is there's one way in
Speaker 1: really one way out right, there's another way. You can't
Speaker 1: really fix that, can't you. That's it. It's a loop.
Speaker 1: You go in, you get the loop, and that's it.
Speaker 1: So all right? What is next year? You got time
Speaker 1: for you? Only a couple more? And Pierre from Springfield says,
Speaker 1: did you and the mrs close on your new vacation
Speaker 1: home in the Outer Banks while you were barn storming
Speaker 1: last week? Also? How many baseball games did you watch
Speaker 1: during the reception, So we did look at real estate,
Speaker 1: not that we're gonna buy it, but it's curious. There
Speaker 1: was some stuff that was interested. A lot of land
Speaker 1: right on the ocean, the Atlantic Ocean, and get for
Speaker 1: pretty cheap. Uh. And I didn't watch any baseball games
Speaker 1: during the reception, but I didn't make snide comments. When
Speaker 1: the best man and the best woman gave their speeches,
Speaker 1: and I was telling my wife Danny, I said, listen,
Speaker 1: I know this as a broadcast, less is more. These
Speaker 1: are these people are droning on And I said, when
Speaker 1: you're public public speaking, I don't like speak, but when
Speaker 1: you're public speaking, you want to make the audience wish
Speaker 1: that you would talk longer. Yeah, make the audience wish
Speaker 1: you would get off the stage right. Get to the point.
Speaker 1: They tell this to musicians all the time. Instead of
Speaker 1: trying to stay on the stage for eighteen minutes when
Speaker 1: the promoter gave you eight, do a five minute song.
Speaker 1: Get a standing ovation, because that five minutes was the
Speaker 1: most amazing single the audience ever heard, and they want
Speaker 1: to hear you some more. You don't stay there and
Speaker 1: make people wish they could get a hook and pull
Speaker 1: you off. Yeah, you don't want to turn this into
Speaker 1: the Gong Show. And so that was that was what
Speaker 1: I was making snide comments Pierre under my breath because
Speaker 1: these people were drowning on this story happened, and then
Speaker 1: you know, a month later this happened, and then three
Speaker 1: months later this happened. I who cares. Give me the
Speaker 1: good stuff. I don't need the other part of that story.
Speaker 1: Give me the good stuff. It all started when I
Speaker 1: was two. Yeah, exactly. Kevin in Rockford, ill and Alway
Speaker 1: rights and says, Hey, Ben, next time you're in Chicago,
Speaker 1: you have to try Al's beef. I did try to
Speaker 1: get Al's beef. The location on well, that does sound dirty,
Speaker 1: but the location is it was closed. They were renovating it.
Speaker 1: Kevin says, the best Italian beef you'll ever eat. In
Speaker 1: his opinion, he says, hit me up. I can give
Speaker 1: you the inside skinny on all the Chicago restaurants. I'm
Speaker 1: a local truck driver who delivers to all the restaurants
Speaker 1: to Chicago and the Bourbs. I can even tell you
Speaker 1: which ones have the biggest cockroaches. Well, that's great, he says. Also,
Speaker 1: I enjoyed the podcast last weekend. Good work Danny G.
Speaker 1: So a tribute to you. Let's see who is next year.
Speaker 1: Carlos in Houston says, Danny G absolutely killed it with
Speaker 1: the podcast last week. Great job. My question is, how
Speaker 1: did you come up with the bit when you ask
Speaker 1: the callers if they're if they want to get on
Speaker 1: the air. It has me laughing every time. Are they
Speaker 1: really that dumb to real eyes that they're on the air,
Speaker 1: that they're not on the air, or they are on
Speaker 1: the alright, So, Carlos, that is a classic timeless radio bit,
Speaker 1: and it's it's available because of the license that we
Speaker 1: have here. I feel like you and I perfected that bit.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we we were really good. It was great.
Speaker 1: We were I loved it and I don't do it
Speaker 1: as often anymore. It's a little harder to do it
Speaker 1: these days for whatever reason. But we had we had
Speaker 1: a blast back in the day. Hello, Hello, Drean, you
Speaker 1: want to get on the radio? All right, hold on
Speaker 1: a second, we'll get you on the radio. Duyanne. I
Speaker 1: want to make sure you get on the radio. How
Speaker 1: we uh, Danny? Are we ready in there? Can we
Speaker 1: put this guy alive on Fox? You want to try
Speaker 1: this again? Yeah? Ben ask him to turn his radio
Speaker 1: down and clear his throat. Yeah, turn your radio down, Dwayne,
Speaker 1: and can you cough a couple of times? Yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 1: We fooled a handful of collars on that. My favorite
Speaker 1: one would be where we would time shift it. We'd
Speaker 1: tell him I'm gonna get you on, but we're gonna
Speaker 1: use this for Friday, so start your call by saying
Speaker 1: happy Friday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was it
Speaker 1: was great. Or I I would restart and then yes,
Speaker 1: I would say their name incorrectly and then they'd get upset,
Speaker 1: or the city I'd give the wrong city, yeah, or
Speaker 1: they didn't have enough energy, so yeah, yeah, knock it
Speaker 1: up a little bit. You gotta pop it up a
Speaker 1: little bit. There's a bottom. I'm ready to bring the gas.
Speaker 1: That was outstanding. All right, we'll get out on that.
Speaker 1: So unfortunately, Terry in England and Angelina and Scott and
Speaker 1: all you other fine members of the Mala Mush, you
Speaker 1: send questions that we just don't have time. We are
Speaker 1: a tight ship here on the podcast. You have places
Speaker 1: to go. You'll be what are you doing today? Day?
Speaker 1: It's a Sunday. What do you got going on today?
Speaker 1: Got the Covino and Rich show this afternoon at FSR,
Speaker 1: and then after that the lead in to your live show,
Speaker 1: which is Arnie Spaniard with as Plank. That's, of course
Speaker 1: the Ben Mallard warm up. All right, very good, so
Speaker 1: a while. I will be on after Danny gets done.
Speaker 1: Have a great rest of your Sunday. If you want
Speaker 1: to send an email in, we might use it on
Speaker 1: a future edition of the Fifth Hour. You can do
Speaker 1: that Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com, or just
Speaker 1: follow us on Facebook. Ben Maller's Show, and typically Monday
Speaker 1: or Tuesday will put something up and you can answer away,
Speaker 1: send a question in and and have a great rest
Speaker 1: of your weekend. We'll catch you next time we're out.
Speaker 1: Like a pig snout, say what I did try to
Speaker 1: get Al's beef? It was a lot I was. I
Speaker 1: was holding ball, touching balls, you name. It had a
Speaker 1: lot of balls. What's up with it?