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Speaker 1: We were in the car, my son says, you know, mom,

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Speaker 1: not every car ride has to be a touch talk.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's really funny.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Fair fair enough, fair enough, Let's listen to some tunes

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Speaker 1: and single singing songs. Let's just be in the car.

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Speaker 1: Fair Man, fair fair let a burn. Damn it is

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Speaker 1: so good. Oh listen, that's I love it so when

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Speaker 1: when my kids burn me. I love it so much

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Speaker 1: because it's like the ultimate mirror.

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Speaker 3: More more Better.

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Speaker 4: At more Better.

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Speaker 5: Welcome to more Better, a podcast where we stop pretending

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Speaker 5: to have it all together.

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Speaker 3: And embrace the journey of trying becoming more better every day.

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Speaker 2: Are we doing it?

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Speaker 6: Is?

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Speaker 1: That?

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Speaker 2: Did I do it?

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Speaker 7: That was?

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Speaker 1: That was good for today? Steph?

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Speaker 2: That's also Fumaro.

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Speaker 1: That's Stephanie Beatrice. And here we are.

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Speaker 2: We're off to a great star.

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Speaker 3: Guys, Uh, Melissa is a little under the weather today.

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Speaker 2: I think it's okay to say.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no yeah.

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Speaker 5: I mean this episode might be slightly unhinged, so we

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Speaker 5: should give a disclaimer at the beginning that I am,

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Speaker 5: you know on a day quill.

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Speaker 2: You're welcome, listeners, You're welcome, You're welcome.

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Speaker 5: Enjoy the ride. What have you done lately? That's a

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Speaker 5: little more better ste.

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Speaker 3: You know what? I found a container of those little

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Speaker 3: sticky eye patches in my drawer and I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'm not even gonna check the exploration today, I'm just

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Speaker 3: gonna open it. They were still a little juicy, slapped

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Speaker 3: some on fuck you. I considered that some of my

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Speaker 3: self care today. Yes, easiest self care to squeeze into

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Speaker 3: a day.

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Speaker 1: Eye patches.

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Speaker 2: What have you done?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 5: Since I am a c K, it's like the low

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Speaker 5: grade achy sometimes chills kind of sick.

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Speaker 1: That's such kind awful.

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Speaker 5: I'm actively trying to do more better right now because

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Speaker 5: initially when I went down last night, Remember how the

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Speaker 5: last few episodes, I've been like, I've been so productive.

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Speaker 5: I've been NonStop, I've been getting shit done. And so

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Speaker 5: the last night I was like, oh no, girl, you

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Speaker 5: did too much.

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Speaker 1: Like, no, bitch, youre the reason I clean out my closet.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, are you telling me I'm gonna get sick? No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: let me finish, Let me finish. Okay, okay, okay. So

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Speaker 1: I was like, you've been doing too much. You gotta

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Speaker 1: slow down.

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Speaker 5: You ran yourself ragged and now you're sick and you

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Speaker 5: got all this shit to do this weekend and blah

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Speaker 5: blah blah. And then I was like, why am I

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Speaker 5: fucking blaming myself? Also, I've been doing like a lot

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Speaker 5: of good stuff for myself. I've been working out, I've

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Speaker 5: been eating good, like, I've been getting sleep. So I

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Speaker 5: was like, maybe I just got fucking sick. Maybe I

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Speaker 5: just was like around someone, or like I went to

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Speaker 5: a dinner Wednesday night and maybe somebody in the restaurant

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Speaker 5: was fucking sick. Maybe you just get fucking sick sometimes

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Speaker 5: and it's not your fault and you don't have to like.

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Speaker 2: You didn't blame yourself. That's good.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, So I'm trying to like be more better today

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Speaker 5: in this moment that like, sometimes you just get fucking

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Speaker 5: sick and it's not my fault and it just happens.

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Speaker 2: No, it's true, it's not.

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Speaker 1: It's not it's not I absolve you of it.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, more better.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited about today's episode.

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Speaker 2: Today's episode, we have guests.

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Speaker 3: It's our friend cultural icon Gloria Caleron Kelly, writer, showrunner, director, actor, producer,

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Speaker 3: hilarious person, great mom, cool human.

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Speaker 1: We love you so much. Thanks for being here, Gloria.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna listen to that every day that that might

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Speaker 1: be my new rington. Justations we do that when we

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Speaker 1: wake up, we should look in the mirror and be like,

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Speaker 1: listen the things. Yeah, yeah, we are powerful. We do

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Speaker 1: a lot. We do a lot.

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Speaker 5: Everyone all you guys just like waking up and surviving

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Speaker 5: and living every day as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it is everybody's really true. It's I mean,

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Speaker 1: by the way, we made it through another week. Like

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Speaker 1: every week I'm a little bit like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: we did it? Really did it? Weird? Did it? Did it?

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Speaker 1: You did it?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Last few birthdays have definitely felt like, oh I survived

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Speaker 5: another year, did it? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Hi, guys, what we're talking to you about today is

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Speaker 3: not necessarily all of those things. It's more about it's

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Speaker 3: kind of distilling down what I think one of your

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Speaker 3: greatest talents, which is storytelling and doing so with authenticity

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Speaker 3: and so like, because you're storyteller and because you are

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Speaker 3: communicating these authentic stories, we thought it would be good

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Speaker 3: to sort of have you talk about like how do

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Speaker 3: you get to the place of like inviting more authenticity

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Speaker 3: into your life? Because you know, not everybody listens to

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Speaker 3: the show is necessarily involved in like the arts, the thoughts,

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Speaker 3: But like, how do you live life authentically?

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Speaker 2: How do you have self awareness?

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Speaker 3: How do you have the ability to sort of like

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Speaker 3: evaluate your strengths and your weaknesses and act in ways

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Speaker 3: that are like consistent with your values as a person

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Speaker 3: and allow for openness and honesty and your relationships with

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Speaker 3: other people, and like how do you do that? The

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Speaker 3: first thing I want to kind of ask you is like,

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Speaker 3: what has been your experience with storytelling with authenticity?

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Speaker 5: Well, ladies, Oh, she put on her podcast voice right there, Well.

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Speaker 1: Ladies, as a receptionist into four dealerships for many years,

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Speaker 1: so I really I played with voices every time I answered,

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Speaker 1: I would answer with that It's really good training for actors,

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 5: Is to be a.

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Speaker 1: How can I help them? So, especially exactly how can

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Speaker 1: I direct your call? I think that one of the things,

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Speaker 1: and this is really for non non artistes types. I

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Speaker 1: was having difficulty with a coworker once, and I was

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Speaker 1: talking to a friend about it and we were unpacking

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Speaker 1: what it is that bothers me so much about this coworker.

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Speaker 1: This was now fifteen years ago. And ultimately it was

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Speaker 1: because the things that I was feeling were things that

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Speaker 1: I thought were untruths about myself that this person felt

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Speaker 1: about me, right, And so it's like, why does this person,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're like a people pleaser or somebody like

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Speaker 1: I'm somebody that's used to being liked, so it like

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Speaker 1: hits me weird when somebody doesn't like me. And I'm

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Speaker 1: still like, you know, a kid on a playground that's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't I know that like most people like me,

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Speaker 1: but like, why isn't he like me? You know? And

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Speaker 1: it's and and they said something to me that I

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Speaker 1: have walked with every day of my life from that

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Speaker 1: moment forward. Why are you believing his story about you?

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Speaker 7: Bitch?

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Speaker 5: Wow?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, whoa? And that really is the truth.

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Speaker 1: In everything we do, we are telling people the story

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Speaker 1: of who we are and how we act, in how

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Speaker 1: we parent and how we talk about our kids when

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Speaker 1: we're out in the world, and how we talk about

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Speaker 1: our families and how we talk about our spouses, and

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Speaker 1: how we are constantly telling our stories to people, and

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Speaker 1: what are the stories that other people are telling about

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Speaker 1: us to our face or not? And how do we

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Speaker 1: go about taking ownership and control over our own narrative,

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Speaker 1: and that really flipped something because it was true. I

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Speaker 1: was I was bothered because I was like, but that's

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Speaker 1: not true. But it was making me feel like my

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Speaker 1: stuff wasn't true about myself, and it was letting me

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Speaker 1: be less than because I was starting to believe like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, maybe I'm not great or maybe I'm

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Speaker 1: not mean. He's right, and that I think is one

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Speaker 1: of like the biggest turning points for me to also

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Speaker 1: get to this path because now that I'm fifty, fifty

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Speaker 1: years old, yeah fifty, but now that I'm fifty, the

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Speaker 1: thing that life and perspective does really give you that like,

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Speaker 1: all I want is to try to figure out how

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Speaker 1: to tell young people this in a way that's not patronizing.

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Speaker 2: Totally like the sooner we like I do.

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Speaker 1: Give so much less of a fuck now I do,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so glad I do, but like I'm so mad.

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Speaker 1: It took me this long, Yeah mad, It took me

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Speaker 1: this long to not care that to really sit and go, oh,

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Speaker 1: all those people that were like so mean and sad

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Speaker 1: fifteen twenty years ago are are mean and sad now,

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Speaker 1: Like it didn't work like why was I allowing myself

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Speaker 1: to be sensitive to whatever they thought? Because I thought

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Speaker 1: that they knew something I didn't know. And none of

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Speaker 1: us know anything, right, Like we're all walking around trying

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Speaker 1: to we don't know. We don't know what this is,

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Speaker 1: we don't know what we're doing. We're all every day

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Speaker 1: is an improv game called life where you yes and

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Speaker 1: and you sometimes I mean it is we are doing

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Speaker 1: our best walking through this world. And yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: that like the sooner I was able to go, oh,

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Speaker 1: what's my story and how do I live every day

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Speaker 1: to be in purpose of what I want to be

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Speaker 1: saying about myself as a person. And when I'm in

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Speaker 1: spaces where I'm like, oh, I don't like how I

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Speaker 1: don't like how I'm behaving, maybe I'm not supposed to

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Speaker 1: be in that space. Yeah, maybe it means I'm not

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Speaker 1: supposed to be around those people.

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Speaker 5: And that's okay, Like that being a tell for you

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Speaker 5: if you're acting not yourself, like.

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Speaker 1: I'm acting weird or I'm doing why am I being weird?

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Speaker 1: Like why I was that felt odd? Like really listening

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Speaker 1: to those to those voices. So I think like the

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Speaker 1: first thing about authenticity is like really being clear about

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Speaker 1: who am I and what is my story and it

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Speaker 1: might be different in an hour, it might be different tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: and allowing for the grace of like of that too.

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Speaker 1: And I think especially as we age and I'm in

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Speaker 1: this Sandwich generation now where what I'm talking about and

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Speaker 1: exploring a lot in my work is what it is

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Speaker 1: to raise children and see parents start to exit and

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Speaker 1: that balance of like life and new and first and

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Speaker 1: last and final, right, I think that it was like

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Speaker 1: the moment I really sat with myself because I really

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Speaker 1: think a lot about as I'm watching my mom age.

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Speaker 1: My mom came up in the eighties where they were

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Speaker 1: told the live you can have it all right. So

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Speaker 1: she was a working mom and I feel so much

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Speaker 1: because I think that they were smile on their face,

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Speaker 1: suits and heels, going to work all day, then coming

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Speaker 1: to every recite, idle and everything I had and still

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Speaker 1: making my lunches and still looking beautiful and still being

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Speaker 1: skinny and still doing full face of makeup. And to

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Speaker 1: see now what that stress I think did to her body. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you know, is really humbling to see that, like,

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Speaker 1: oh man, does she And and to also be like,

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Speaker 1: what's your favorite movie? Or favorite color or favorite song,

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Speaker 1: and she probably wouldn't have an answer.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Gloria.

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Speaker 1: You know, and how do we not model that for

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Speaker 1: our kids?

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Speaker 3: Because she was just doing everything for everybody else and

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Speaker 3: not thinking about herself at all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, man, the like, I yeah, I think that those

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Speaker 1: women that paved this path had to kind of do

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Speaker 1: all of it and still be like feminine and still

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Speaker 1: be like, you know, like And I have to remind

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Speaker 1: her of this when I show up, because you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm a writer, so most of the time I look

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Speaker 1: like a garbage person and she's like, I, Glorita, tell

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Speaker 1: me about that's so offended, right, uncle, No, but I

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Speaker 1: do so a little blood, a little rude baby, something.

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Speaker 3: A little lipstick, something anything.

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Speaker 1: Listen, I'm not no patriarchy. Uh huh, yeah, listen. I

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Speaker 1: think thongs and heels were created by the patriarchy. Were

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Speaker 1: so uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: I do like a thong.

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Speaker 1: It keeps keeps her eye off the ball. I won't

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Speaker 1: say I do.

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Speaker 2: Like a thunge. I don't feel it. It don't It's like.

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Speaker 1: I'm not wearing like maybe I just got too big

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Speaker 1: of a booty. All right.

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Speaker 2: I like a thong too.

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Speaker 1: I don't you do too. That's because y'all are skinny. No,

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Speaker 1: I got I got some dump.

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Speaker 2: I always size up in my thong.

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Speaker 1: I will say that I always size up because I

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Speaker 1: need to.

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Speaker 3: Be like, yes, like there's nothing on my body, Like

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Speaker 3: it's barely touching me.

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Speaker 1: It's just a.

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Speaker 2: Barrier between me and my jeans.

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Speaker 1: I like a spank. I like like I like a

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Speaker 1: I like a you know, like a like a nylon

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Speaker 1: or a whole thing, but like something it is. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get gross for a second. I don't like it.

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Speaker 5: I don't like boot sweat, and I got it. I

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Speaker 5: got some dump in my trunk.

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Speaker 1: And so you know, the thong also serves a purpose

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Speaker 1: of just are you guys.

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Speaker 2: Saying that I don't have a boot.

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Speaker 5: It's catching any set capture, it's capturing drips. It's capturing

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Speaker 5: drips that either.

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Speaker 1: This ends with people wanting to buy those. Yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is a side business. I'm just saying times we're getting tough, guys,

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Speaker 1: so we all got to do what we can do.

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Speaker 1: My eBay shop is open.

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Speaker 2: It's called authentically no respectfully no, authentically no.

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Speaker 6: No.

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Speaker 1: I do like thongs and I like heels, but I

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Speaker 1: also had the mom that put the lipstick on before

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Speaker 1: going to the grocery store.

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Speaker 2: I only like them in a little cutie outfit.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, not me. Give me a comfortable shoe.

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Speaker 1: Give me a full bottom cover and a comfortable shoe.

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Speaker 5: Just put me in one sack and slap some like

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Speaker 5: Sam goes on my feet.

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Speaker 1: Yes, hokahs.

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Speaker 2: I don't like how they feel.

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Speaker 1: Really.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, I don't like a hookah.

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Speaker 1: Whatever makes you comfortable. You know, feminism is allowing for everything.

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Speaker 1: You wear your thongb girl, girl, and you wear your clues.

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Speaker 3: True feminism is allowing for everything.

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Speaker 1: It's allowing for everything. Whatever.

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Speaker 2: I don't know you do you?

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Speaker 1: I mean that's another episode, but I feel a hot take.

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Speaker 3: I mean, okay, So something I think I wanted to

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Speaker 3: ask you was like when do you think that you

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Speaker 3: So you were talking earlier about this, like kind of

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Speaker 3: realization of like why are you believing this other person's

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Speaker 3: story about you? Right?

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Speaker 2: Like when was that for you?

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Speaker 1: Like when?

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Speaker 3: Because you were storytelling before that?

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Speaker 2: Obviously you were in like I was.

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Speaker 1: A storytelling before that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but when how long into like that process? Like

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Speaker 3: where were you age wise? I guess for like listeners it.

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Speaker 1: Was like fifteen years ago thirty five. Thirty five was

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Speaker 1: a big, big switch up for me. Yeah. Yeah, thirty

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Speaker 1: five was a big switch up where like I'd had

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Speaker 1: success and like things were going pretty well, but I

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Speaker 1: was still in you know, I was still in a

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Speaker 1: lot of rooms with like Ivy League men, you know,

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Speaker 1: men of like a privileged background, and not a lot

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Speaker 1: of people that not a lot of women, and not

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Speaker 1: a lot of people look like me. So there has

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Speaker 1: been like some incredible strides that's certainly shifted and changed,

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Speaker 1: but also going a bit backwards now to kind of

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Speaker 1: what it was. Yeah, so that's kind of what I

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Speaker 1: want to empower women with. I mean, I think right

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Speaker 1: now too, there's so much good conversation happening between women.

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Speaker 1: I think for a lot of a long time, certainly

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Speaker 1: I think of my mother's generation, I don't know that

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Speaker 1: they had a lot of peer support because a lot

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Speaker 1: of times they were the only ones, or there were

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Speaker 1: so few of them, and they'd pit them against each

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Speaker 1: other and whatnot. I don't feel like that's the case anymore.

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Speaker 1: I think we all understand that what's me is for me,

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Speaker 1: and what's used for you, and let's support each other

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Speaker 1: and love each other and rising you know, tides lift

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Speaker 1: ships and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was about it was about fifteen years ago, and then

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Speaker 1: it was before then. I think I was doing all right.

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Speaker 1: I was doing okay, but it was you know, I

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Speaker 1: was in a lot of spaces where it was an

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Speaker 1: organizational culture that I wasn't used to or didn't understand

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Speaker 1: or didn't grow up with, you know, still a very

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Speaker 1: male dominated thing where I felt like I had approved

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Speaker 1: myself or where I where I mean, in those times too,

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Speaker 1: you were told flat out you know this, this is

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Speaker 1: a room of men, can you hang? And I've been

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Speaker 1: fortunate that I've been friends with men forever. I was

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Speaker 1: just always that girl, And so for the most part,

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Speaker 1: I'm not very easily offended. I'm not super sensitive. But

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Speaker 1: it is a strange thing to basically in an interview

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Speaker 1: be asked like, are you able to put a waste

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Speaker 1: part of your humanity to be in this job? You know,

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Speaker 1: right as opposed to now, where if I was in

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Speaker 1: a where once the shift happened, you you feel strong

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Speaker 1: enough in your power to be like, uh, stopping, gross, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's move on, right, But like when you're young, and

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Speaker 1: you're so happy to just be in spaces and you

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Speaker 1: don't want to be escorted out. You think you have

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Speaker 1: to put up with those things, and sometimes you might, right,

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Speaker 1: Like I think had I not, I don't know that

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Speaker 1: I would have been in those spaces early on. I

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Speaker 1: think they would have wanted me out because because that

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Speaker 1: was the nature of and that's for.

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Speaker 3: Many jobs, because they wanted to keep being.

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Speaker 1: Gross, right, right, and they didn't want to feel bad

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Speaker 1: for yeah, you know.

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Speaker 3: So part of it is like ooh, I don't want

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Speaker 3: to be called.

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Speaker 1: Out by yeah, don't tell. Don't tell our wives on us,

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah. Yeah, And so I think there's but

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Speaker 1: I think there's a shift. And I what I've definitely

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Speaker 1: seen which has been really comforting is how many men

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Speaker 1: are so grateful when women are in charge. How many

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Speaker 1: men are like, oh my god, it's so nice here. Yeah, oh,

363
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 1: like you guys are like nice and supportive and like

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Speaker 1: we still joke and we still talk about stuff, but

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Speaker 1: we're still gross like of course, you know, course, but

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Speaker 1: there's a way to do it with sort of a

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Speaker 1: little kindness.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, Yes, no, I'm more more humanity, more humanity,

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Speaker 5: I think that's way is just like a little bit

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Speaker 5: more self awareness, awareness of who's in the room, more humanity.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I think, yeah, but.

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Speaker 1: I think more than more than anything, I want to

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Speaker 1: empower people because I feel like the real shift when

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Speaker 1: that happened to me and I was just I just

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Speaker 1: decided to be in spaces where I was going to

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Speaker 1: say what I thought, whether people liked it or not.

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00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 1: There is something really powerful about like stopp being gross,

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00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 1: right Like, there's something really powerful about saying how you

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00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,760
Speaker 1: feel about something. And yeah, it's going to ruffle some

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00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,919
Speaker 1: people's feathers, but then those aren't your people, right, Like,

381
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,920
Speaker 1: the more the more we can say this is how

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Speaker 1: I feel about this thing. And I'm and I'm what

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00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 1: I worry about with this next generation because what I'm

384
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,199
Speaker 1: seeing as I'm meeting younger people is so much is

385
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 1: done through devices, emails, and various forms of social media

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00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,480
Speaker 1: that when that a face to face conversation feels confronting,

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Speaker 1: regardless of the subject matter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not fascinating.

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Speaker 3: I was talking to a friend yesterday who was she

390
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 3: was under the impression that another friend of hers had

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Speaker 3: this sort of same value system that she did, and

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Speaker 3: they were kind of like arguing back and forth over

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00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 3: voice notes, and I was like, you need to sit

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00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 3: down with her and have coffee, and like she was like,

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00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:39,160
Speaker 3: but I want to win.

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00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,640
Speaker 2: I want to win. And I was like, I get it.

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00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 3: I get that you want to win this conversation, but

398
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 3: like you probably need to sit down with her and

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00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 3: like talk to her and see if she's actually like

400
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,119
Speaker 3: you said, like is she your people or is she not?

401
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 3: Because like you're not really going to find that out

402
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,879
Speaker 3: over trading voice notes, like you're going to find but

403
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 3: it is like it's also confronting.

404
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 1: But also define win, you know what I mean? Like

405
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,919
Speaker 1: what are we winning when we're just I mean, what

406
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 1: are we winning?

407
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 3: You know?

408
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 1: Like I think that this look we're we're all married ladies.

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00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 1: Sorry everyone else, sorry people, But like so much of

410
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,919
Speaker 1: like I think marriage is.

411
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 2: You want to win.

412
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 1: No stuff, no stuff. No it's not, it's not.

413
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,679
Speaker 2: It's really not. It is peace.

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Speaker 3: It's like, uh, what is it?

415
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 1: A quick forgiveness and a lot of laughter. Peace it's peace? Yeah,

416
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 1: Like that means you know what, all right, let's just

417
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:45,919
Speaker 1: move on. Just this is enough. It's this person.

418
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,399
Speaker 3: Sometimes you're around that moment where you're like about to

419
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 3: explain something to them, and you're like, you know what

420
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 3: I'm it doesn't matter.

421
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

422
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 6: Yeah.

423
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 3: Brad gets so overwhelmed. He's like, no, tell me, and

424
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Speaker 3: I'm like, by the time I finish explain meaning this

425
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,199
Speaker 3: thing to you, I would have had that and like

426
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 3: fifteen other things done.

427
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 1: I don't want to let me. Let me tell you

428
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,679
Speaker 1: something confronting that happened between my husband and I. Am

429
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 1: I going off topic? Do you want me to do

430
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 1: all the time?

431
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 2: Here?

432
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 1: So I was. It was, of course, like some Instagram

433
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 1: prompt and it was like it said, like, do you

434
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 1: feel like you can say anything to your spouse at

435
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:28,160
Speaker 1: any moment? And I was like, yes, absolutely absolutely, I'm

436
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: so free in this relationship. I was like, honey, I

437
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 1: feel look at this. Do you believe there's some people

438
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 1: that feel He's like, oh, I don't. I don't feel that.

439
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: I was like what. He's like, what do you mean?

440
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 1: What do you mean you don't feel that? And he was

441
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: like no, no, I mean there's just some things that

442
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: it doesn't like the it's not worth it. It's okay, Like

443
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,120
Speaker 1: you don't have to feel the same way I feel

444
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: about everything. I can love you regardless and like I

445
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 1: don't need to convince you of things, and now it's

446
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 1: just it's just better to move on. Ohn devastated. And

447
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: then I go to work and I talk to the men,

448
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 1: and the men are all like, oh yeah, no, no, no,

449
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: we don't same yeah same what yeah. All the men

450
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 1: who are like the happiest married men I know, they're like,

451
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, yeah. Sometimes you just yeah, you just

452
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: let the like it's just better, it's just easy. It's

453
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 1: just peace, just peace.

454
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 2: It's just Brad.

455
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 3: I'm like about to say something and I'm like, no,

456
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 3: I don't need.

457
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 1: To know, don't need to it's okay, don't need to

458
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 1: say it. It's okay to say it. Just peace.

459
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fine.

460
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: Everything I think it feel.

461
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 5: Sit down for my dissertation of my days.

462
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 1: Everything I'm feeling.

463
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 3: That's kind of amazing, though, Like I do think, like

464
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people are in relationships, and

465
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 3: many of them younger because they haven't had as much

466
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 3: experience right where they are, not their full selves where

467
00:22:56,080 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 3: they are, Like any minute now the other it's all

468
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 3: going to fall into place and he's gonna somehow accept

469
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,959
Speaker 3: me for exactly who I am. But I just have

470
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 3: to hide all the parts of myself that he probably

471
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 3: doesn't like until you know what I mean.

472
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 2: Like, I think there's a lot of that in the youth.

473
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,199
Speaker 2: I mean that that was me.

474
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,159
Speaker 3: I had lots of experiences like that in my twenties

475
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 3: and thirties where I was like, well, if I'm my

476
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 3: whole self, if I'm my fullest, truest self, then this

477
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 3: person will leave me. And like, obviously I want to

478
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 3: be with someone versus being alone.

479
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 2: Right, isn't that better? It took me a.

480
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 3: Long time to figure that out, I think for women especially, Wow, No.

481
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 1: I think you're right. I think I mean, what I

482
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 1: still see amongst so many of my friends is they

483
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 1: want their husbands or partners to want to do things

484
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 1: for them, as opposed to just saying this is what

485
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 1: I need.

486
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 2: What I need right now is ex yes.

487
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: And it's like I want them to magically into it

488
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: the thing I need. It's like meg that time they need.

489
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: That's not it, baby, We gotta tell each other.

490
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 3: I mean, not to bring it back around to storytelling,

491
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 3: but like I wonder if that is like this, like.

492
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 2: You know, this sort of.

493
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 3: Cinematic romance thing that we've been sold this like, this

494
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 3: person's gonna do this and then then you'll know or

495
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 3: like if he x y z's and you don't have

496
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 3: to tell him that's real love or whatever.

497
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 2: And it's like, I don't think.

498
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 1: I'm gonna know and see you so deep that he's gonna.

499
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 5: Know exactly how to Yeah, that's the romantic comedy trope,

500
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 5: the yeah.

501
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: We need to change that story.

502
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, how are you gonna do it?

503
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,400
Speaker 1: Listen, she trying, Your girl's trying. She is trying, Your

504
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 1: girl is trying.

505
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 5: I feel like, yeah, your stories are feel so authentically

506
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 5: you ever feels like it comes from your life and

507
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 5: your experience in some way, whether ever times that that

508
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 5: was like really scary or was there ever like times

509
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 5: where that was like maybe you regretted telling a story

510
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 5: that felt too personal or.

511
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: No, you know what, here's what's weird. No for me,

512
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,919
Speaker 1: but there's definitely other people who have felt like, is

513
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: this gonna be okay? Right? Are you are? It's it

514
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: okay that you're And I think that like maybe because

515
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 1: I've been doing this now a long time, Like I

516
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,360
Speaker 1: wonder if I had asked myself that question thirty years ago,

517
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 1: how I would feel. But this is this is my

518
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 1: experience of the world. It's not anyone else's experience of

519
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: the world. It's mine. And I'm an unreliable narrator because

520
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: it's this point of view, right, it's my point of view.

521
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: It's how I'm seeing it. So there's already something I

522
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: can't I'm not all knowing and all seeing, so I

523
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: am interpreting it a certain way. So for me to

524
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 1: put out the way I see it is just one

525
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: way of seeing it, And what I hope is that

526
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 1: that invites other people to think about it and interpret

527
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: it in their own way. So for me, when I

528
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 1: tell really personal stuff, I feel like there's a sense

529
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: I feel brave when I do that. It makes me

530
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: feel powerful when I do that and brave because I'm

531
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: being really honest about faults or things that I didn't

532
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: do well or things that I could have handled better.

533
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,919
Speaker 1: And a lot of times I try to be a

534
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 1: better version of myself when I'm writing it, or what

535
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 1: did I learn, or be the worst version of me

536
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: when I'm writing it to then see like, oh wow, yeah,

537
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,679
Speaker 1: I gotta go to the other side of that, you know,

538
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 1: especially when it's personal stuff, when it's stuf with my family,

539
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 1: you know when I go and that's and I have

540
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 1: also found because of the feedback, the feedback has been

541
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: so overwhelmingly positive. And I've been lucky in that regard,

542
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: like the you know, this is where Twitter and Instagram

543
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 1: can be a hell fire, but it can also be

544
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: a really lovely place where community is formed because people

545
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 1: feel seen through the work. You guys know that better

546
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: than anyway. So when you're really authentic and you really

547
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: go there, like you know, when I did the mental

548
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 1: health stuff on one day to time, like there was

549
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 1: stuff that was like so personal and it was very

550
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: revelatory to see it interpreted. Because then, of course, you know,

551
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: it becomes a stuff. With Justin and Justina and I

552
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 1: had such an incredible bond. I love working with wonderful actors.

553
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 1: I've gotten the opportunity to work with both of you two,

554
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,199
Speaker 1: and you guys work the same way, Like I do

555
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 1: a thing, and then you do an interpretation of that thing,

556
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,680
Speaker 1: and then together we've come up with a new thing.

557
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 1: It becomes a new thing, and then that goes out

558
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: into the world and people experience it in their way

559
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: and filter it, and so it becomes less scary because

560
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: I'm just doing my thing, and then you're going to

561
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,239
Speaker 1: do whatever you're going to do with it, and then

562
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 1: someone else is going to see it and they're going

563
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: to do their own thing with it, and it becomes

564
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 1: this big, kind of magical group project. So I find

565
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 1: incredible positivity in it. But I can see how I

566
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: definitely see a lot of the writers I mentor that

567
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: have a lot of fear around putting yourself out there

568
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 1: in that way because it's vulnerable. It's really vulnerable. But

569
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 1: there's something about I think by the time I got

570
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 1: to the place where I was really that thirty five, right,

571
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 1: I had done the other stuff before, I had tried

572
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: to be other versions of me. It didn't work. Like

573
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: it's so hard to be other versions of you that

574
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: are not authentic. It's harder, it takes a lot more energy. Yeah,

575
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: there's actually when you're like able to just sink in

576
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: and say this is who I am. It's a lot

577
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: so I get it. If some people can't do it,

578
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 1: that's okay, that's all right, it's okay, it's all right.

579
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: But the people that get it really get it. And

580
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: so I feel loved by those few, and that's all

581
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: I need, and I can can to move forward and

582
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: do the work.

583
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 3: I also think that the reaction to people being authentic,

584
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 3: like the thing that I bought up against a lot

585
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 3: is people being like like kind of like not understanding,

586
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 3: well what's going on and feeling like why are you?

587
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 2: Why are you being like that?

588
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:20,959
Speaker 3: You know?

589
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 2: And I think what I I.

590
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 3: I guess what I'm figuring out now is like, oh, yeah,

591
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 3: that person hasn't tapped into their own stuff. Like they're

592
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 3: not comfortable enough inside themselves in this situation or in

593
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 3: this whatever we're doing. Like they're not quite where I'm at.

594
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 3: So like they're very resistant to like how open I

595
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 3: am or or goofy I am or friendly I am.

596
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 3: They can't handle it, and so what they want to

597
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 3: do is like shut it down. And for a lot

598
00:29:55,760 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 3: of people, shutting it down is being rude, being on friends,

599
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 3: being unkind. It's like they don't know what to do

600
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 3: with it, right, And so like what a lot of

601
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 3: our listeners are actually they skew quite a bit younger,

602
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 3: just because some people watch Brooklyn nine nine and.

603
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: Like because we're like really cool and oh, I know,

604
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: like how.

605
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 3: Like walk me through how you would like whisper in

606
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 3: your own ear? If you were you now and your

607
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 3: thirty year old self pre like.

608
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 2: I'm doing this, like I'm gonna be more my authentic.

609
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 3: Self, your pre version of that, Like walk me through

610
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: what you would tell yourself in your own ear at

611
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 3: like when it wasn't working, like the when when the

612
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 3: negativity was happening, when the negativity was happening coming back

613
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 3: at you or from yourself, like.

614
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 1: I mean it was rough. I mean I there would

615
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: be a lot of going to the bathroom and crying

616
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: and then splashing water on my face. Yeah, a lot

617
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: of anxiety, lots of anxiety depression, which is like a

618
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: thing that shocks people because I'm a very cheerful person,

619
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: but I think that like, but it's it's you know,

620
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: my brain was my best friend of my worst enemy.

621
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: It was my biggest cheerleader and the biggest asshole. So

622
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: and I would I believed both of them with Actually,

623
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 1: I think I probably before times believed the negative voices more.

624
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: And I think there was when the shift happened. I

625
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 1: think there was a lot of conversation with myself that

626
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 1: was like, well, let's be rational and if you're going

627
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: to spend a lot of time thinking about the negative stuff,

628
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: then you should spend the equal amount of time thinking

629
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: about the positive stuff. Like if we're really seeking yeah,

630
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 1: if we're really seeking balance, then the same amount of

631
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: time I am looking in the mirror going oh this,

632
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: Oh I don't like this, I don't like this, I

633
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 1: better spend the same amount of time looking in the

634
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: mirror going oh I love this, and I love this

635
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: and I love this. Right, and if I think something

636
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: about the balance, we are meant to live in a

637
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: type of equilibrium, right, So it's when we are doing

638
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 1: too much of one thing that we were literally out

639
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 1: of balance and can't function as well. So when you're

640
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: then forced to look in the mirror and say nice

641
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: things or forced to like give your resume, you know,

642
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: I was also in and you guys must know this too,

643
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: Like you're in spaces with other people that are pointing

644
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: really interesting questions to you, and those questions can also

645
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: ship like what are you know? I remember I was

646
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 1: at a lunch where the prompt, the icebreaker was like,

647
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: introduce yourself the way your proudest relative would talk, would

648
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: introduce you. Oh I love that. What did you were

649
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: you like? Oh no? Are you like? Oh no? Do

650
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 1: you immediately start sobbing.

651
00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 8: Yeah, you're like, oh no, right, because you're like okay,

652
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 8: well Glorita, you know, like uh, you know, it's like,

653
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 8: oh my man, okay, like and then once you and

654
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 8: then I think also, like a gift I would give everybody,

655
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 8: especially people not in this industry, is that when we

656
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 8: do panels, you guys, they they introduce us, you know,

657
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 8: they give like a little mini resume before you go

658
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 8: onto a stage.

659
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: And I want people in real life to do this

660
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 1: for each other. I want people in real life to say, like, amazing,

661
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: mom crushed the PTA dinner. Did that you know makes

662
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: amazing lunches for her daughter every day.

663
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 9: It's Pamela, you know, like you know, like next time

664
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 9: you have a dinner party, yes, when you haven't, like

665
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 9: for your birthday parties, you guys, have your friends do

666
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 9: like introductions, like we have to like sit in that

667
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 9: celebratory thing more because that's a.

668
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 1: Story we are telling that the story your friend is

669
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: telling about you to you. Yeah, and we kind of

670
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: just do thatt on birthdays maybe if we're lucky, uh,

671
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: if we're lucky maybe.

672
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 5: I mean. The sad thing is it happens at funerals,

673
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 5: right when like you can't even fucking hear it, like

674
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 5: when it's too late, like wow, And you know, at

675
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 5: a funeral, people get they make speeches, they talk about

676
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 5: all the incredible things this person did for them, And

677
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 5: like maybe that also happens at a wedding maybe, but

678
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 5: like that's it. So like let's say you get married

679
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 5: at twenty five and you don't die till you're like

680
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 5: one hundred and five, that you're going.

681
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,320
Speaker 4: So many decades, long time, a long time without anyone

682
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 4: just like being like, here's all the things that I

683
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 4: think are incredible about you and what you mean to me.

684
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:46,839
Speaker 4: I love that.

685
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 5: Like yes, dinner parties, birthdays, like let's just unabashedly celebrate

686
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 5: around the table, go around the table.

687
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: I don't know.

688
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: It makes my stomach hurt.

689
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 1: I don't like not.

690
00:34:59,040 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 2: I don't like it.

691
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 1: I don't like it.

692
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 3: I didn't even have speeches at my wedding. Melissa can

693
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 3: tell you that's true.

694
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: You did not.

695
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 5: Or better.

696
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 3: Or better, I didn't have speeches there. I was like, no, no, no, no, no,

697
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 3: no no. I didn't really have speeches at my wedding either.

698
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,879
Speaker 1: What is that? Know though? Just out of curiosity, what's

699
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 1: the no?

700
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,240
Speaker 3: Well, Some of the no was like my husband's parents

701
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 3: and they're you know, like I just didn't I was

702
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 3: like not inviting, like let's about our heads and have

703
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 3: a weird like no, no, no, right. Some of it

704
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:42,359
Speaker 3: was that like I wanted the celebration to be I

705
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,839
Speaker 3: don't know, I just didn't want to like a big

706
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 3: old speechy.

707
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 2: I just didn't want it. It felt like why didn't

708
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: I want it?

709
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 3: You know, like I guess I just didn't want like

710
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 3: I wanted everyone to have their own experience of the

711
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,479
Speaker 3: wedding and I wanted it to be like a party and.

712
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: Like, well in life, like if we were if we

713
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 1: were to go to would you be uncomfortable if Melissa

714
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: and I said nice things about you?

715
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 3: No, but I would be uncomfortable being like you guys

716
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 3: are invited to my party and you all have to

717
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 3: write down like three nights.

718
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,319
Speaker 1: Well yeah no, but that sounds like home. Yeah. I

719
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 1: get that's great. Yeah, I get that.

720
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 3: I get like it was my bed and spontaneous, spontaneously.

721
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,720
Speaker 1: Yes, you don't want to make it homework for people,

722
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: but if it happened, I would say, I would say

723
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: that that is the that the gift would be a

724
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 1: friend should do this for you. We should be doing

725
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 1: it for yourself. Are you a friend? How about be

726
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: the friend that does this for your friend, but don't

727
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 1: demand your friends do this for you because that's gross

728
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 1: and that's weird. There we go. Yeah, but yeah, like

729
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: I love how you kind of said it.

730
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 5: Like, you know, if I'm having a dinner party, every

731
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 5: time someone arrives, I'm opening the door and being saying and.

732
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 4: Walking in and walking in ragging at five five looking good.

733
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, if it's the thing you're doing for others,

734
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 1: like what are we doing for others? That that that's

735
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 1: a good distinction. I think that's actually an important distinction.

736
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: I think so Yeah, as opposed to saying I'm giving

737
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 1: you all homework.

738
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 3: For my brain.

739
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 1: You're invited to, but you have to say really nice

740
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: things about me.

741
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 5: Everyone is gonna get a one and a half minute

742
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 5: speech about what.

743
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 3: My god, I'm Oh my god.

744
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,719
Speaker 1: You're right. It's an important distinction. Yeah, it is. It is.

745
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:23,800
Speaker 3: I also think, like, you know, if we're talking about

746
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 3: like authenticity as a in in life and then how

747
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 3: it relates to our work, right, Like we play pretend,

748
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 3: we make up stories. We like all three of us right, Like,

749
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 3: we're all in the arts and that's what we do.

750
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,240
Speaker 2: So when you think.

751
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 3: About your own writing, how how do you kind of

752
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 3: like figure out where to bring yourself and where to

753
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,399
Speaker 3: like use your imagination and is it the same thing?

754
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 3: You know? Like I mean, as I asked the question,

755
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's all just that's all you kind of.

756
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 1: All the same thing. I mean, here, here's the thing.

757
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 1: So I'm writing. I'm literally writing a play right now,

758
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:05,879
Speaker 1: and there's ideas that I know I want to put

759
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 1: in the play. There's thoughts I'm having about the plays

760
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 1: about payliative care and about watching your parents die and

761
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: what does that bring up for young people, right for siblings,

762
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 1: for these siblings, And there are ideas that I'm having,

763
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,479
Speaker 1: but I don't know what the connective tissue of those

764
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 1: things is yet. So I kind of go into a

765
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 1: scene thinking, all right, I want to talk about this

766
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 1: one thing and how do I get into it, and

767
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: how do I get out of it? And how do

768
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: I have fun within it? And how do I show

769
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: each person's specific character and point of view on this

770
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 1: one topic. Because I also really try in my work

771
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 1: to you know, I really feel like my work is

772
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: about building bridges. I'm not interested in dividing. I really

773
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 1: want to center it in love and connection and that

774
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 1: we need to find a way to talk to each other.

775
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 1: And so it's great for me to have characters who

776
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:04,280
Speaker 1: disagree and great to have characters who are fighting about

777
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 1: things and who are speaking their own truths and the

778
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: things that I learn from that, because I deeply want

779
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 1: to understand people that I disagree with, because I think

780
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 1: at our core, if we talk face to face, what

781
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 1: we're going to find is we actually care about the

782
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 1: same things. We just have a different way of going

783
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: about it. And the sooner we can realize like we're

784
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:25,760
Speaker 1: just we just all want to keep our family safe,

785
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 1: and we all just want to be able to thrive,

786
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: and we all just want like, we all really do

787
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: want these things, and it's often fear the thing that

788
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 1: divides us. And the sooner we can state our fear

789
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: out loud and connect with one another over what we

790
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: love and what we fear, then maybe the fear can

791
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 1: be turned down. So that's kind of how I enter

792
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 1: these scenes, And yeah, that's how I go in. So

793
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 1: like it'll start with something, but then I'll make something up,

794
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 1: or I'll make another thing, you know, like there will

795
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:01,319
Speaker 1: be little things that come and go in between that,

796
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: and then I allow in the writing play as well,

797
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 1: like sometimes I go off on crazy tangents that I'm like,

798
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna cut this later, but let's go there

799
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 1: now for fun, you know, and see what happens, because

800
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: it came up and let's see. But yeah, I think

801
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 1: that it's always coming for me, obviously because I'm the

802
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,760
Speaker 1: writer of it. But then I am trying to insert

803
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: other ideas into it to try to get to the

804
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,240
Speaker 1: bottom of some central truth to bring about connection.

805
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 3: Yeah you always thought that way about your work? Have

806
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 3: you always been like I, I'm coming from a place

807
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 3: where I want to like create connection between characters.

808
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and coming from yeah.

809
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,800
Speaker 1: Yes, I saw something recently. I saw something recently it

810
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: kind of blew my mind too, where it said if

811
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 1: you if you're the funny one in your family, you

812
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 1: probably had a depressed parent.

813
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 2: Oh oh cool, that's cool.

814
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: Cool, that's cool, that's cool.

815
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 7: That's cool.

816
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: That's cool. So who were And I was like, oh,

817
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,479
Speaker 1: and that's like, who were you initially trying to make laugh?

818
00:40:58,800 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 2: Yeah?

819
00:40:59,160 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 3: My dad?

820
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: Yep.

821
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:01,879
Speaker 3: Yeah.

822
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: And in life, what are we doing? What are we

823
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 1: displaying what kid? Like I have one kid that's the

824
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 1: funny one. And is it because I've been more authentic

825
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: with him about my mental health and he knows that,

826
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 1: right yeah, and that's okay and talking about those things

827
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 1: because like I grew up in house where you don't.

828
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 1: We're happy, happy, joy joy. They experience awful things to

829
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 1: come to this country and that was in the rear

830
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: view mirror. And we're not talking about that. Everything is great,

831
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 1: everything is at me And it was, I mean, they

832
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 1: built a beautiful life and it was a very happy life,

833
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 1: but it was like, can we talk about the cube stuff? No, okay,

834
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 1: we're not talking about when you were children and came

835
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 1: here and lived in a camp. Nope, okay, cool cool cool.

836
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 1: So it's and seeing how I wanted to do the opposite.

837
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 1: I always want to talk about everything a nauseum, right.

838
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 1: So now I have children, one of whom is like,

839
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: do we have to talk about Maybe we don't have

840
00:41:56,120 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: to talk about everything. Maybe my son the other day

841
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: we were in the car. My son says, you know, mom,

842
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 1: not every car ride has to be a ted talk.

843
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's really funny. Oh god, fair enough,

844
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:16,280
Speaker 1: fair enough, let's listen to some tunes and single sing songs.

845
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: That's fair, fair, it is so good. Oh listen, that's

846
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 1: I love it so when they when my kids burn me,

847
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 1: I love it so much because it's like the ultimate mirror.

848
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: And I also love that they feel comfortable enough to

849
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 1: say it, you know, and it's done in a loving way.

850
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 1: It's always done so lovingly, but like they're here to

851
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 1: teach us so much. I'm so lucky. I think I

852
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: think my kids are the coolest people ever.

853
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:46,720
Speaker 3: I like, I just wrote down a loving A loving

854
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 3: burn is a mirror. I like that because I probably

855
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 3: would have cried really yeah yeah if Roz was like

856
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 3: you know, mom, not every I mean yeah, I would

857
00:42:58,080 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 3: have been like.

858
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 5: Pain you imagine here, let me paint a picture. I

859
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 5: feel like when Steph and I first met, I am

860
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 5: like the my whole family, Like everybody was like a

861
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:17,319
Speaker 5: ball buster, like so there was joy Latin definitely like

862
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 5: flavors of what you Yeah, like, we don't really talk

863
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 5: about the horrific things that happened before we came here,

864
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 5: except when I got older.

865
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: I think they did.

866
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 5: But everybody was just uh, it was a very like

867
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 5: jokey household it was a lot of people making fun

868
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 5: of each other in my house. And also I think

869
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 5: Jersey is just like that, and I don't do that

870
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 5: to everybody, but if I love you, I will definitely

871
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 5: make fun of you, like that is one of my

872
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 5: love languages. And it took Steph and I like a

873
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 5: minute for me to convince her that I was not

874
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 5: trying to be you loved her, that I loved her.

875
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 3: I was also really I mean that like again, you're

876
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 3: like going back to this idea of like how do

877
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 3: you get more better at off City? Like I was

878
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 3: so terrified in my own skin at thirty three, you know,

879
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 3: when we first met, I just like didn't know. I mean,

880
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 3: I had this inkling of like who maybe I could become,

881
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 3: but it was so it was like this nascent inner

882
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,720
Speaker 3: feeling that was like not it hadn't come yet really,

883
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 3: and I was like grinding away trying to get at it.

884
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 3: And so like when things would happen like on set

885
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 3: or like in interactions and I felt stung by them,

886
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 3: it was brutal. It was brutal, and it felt like raw,

887
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 3: you know, I just felt.

888
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 2: Like raw all the time on set.

889
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 3: I was just like, oh, like I remember I cried

890
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 3: one day in my I cried in my dressing room

891
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 3: because Melissa and Andy and.

892
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 1: Joe, I think, were like, hit your mark?

893
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,240
Speaker 2: Why can't you hit your mark?

894
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 3: No, there were many listen, there were many times. There

895
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 3: were many times it was like, oh, you dropped your gun.

896
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 3: Oh you didn't hate your own mark. Oh why didn't

897
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 3: you come in? I'm like, why did you let the

898
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 3: thing swing onto somebody's leg behind you?

899
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 2: And now we have to do it again?

900
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 3: And like I would hold it together on set, but

901
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 3: like I would go back to my room and be like.

902
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: So we're doing that all all to each other. It

903
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:14,839
Speaker 1: was all, it was all.

904
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 3: It was all that I've only felt, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,

905
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 3: because I was so inside my thing of like you

906
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 3: have to be perfect, you have to You can't let

907
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,880
Speaker 3: them know that, like you don't know what you're doing,

908
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 3: that you're from the theater and you've never been on

909
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 3: a set, and like you don't know what you're doing.

910
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 2: You can't let them see that. If I had just

911
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 2: been brave enough.

912
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:35,760
Speaker 1: That's the story you were telling yourself.

913
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I had just been brave enough to be like, right,

914
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,840
Speaker 3: I'm actually new at this, So I'm learning as I go,

915
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 3: not automatically. I'm horrible at this, but like this is

916
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 3: my first time, so I am learning as I go.

917
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,919
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that's probably a mistake I won't make

918
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 3: very many more times because now I know, you know,

919
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 3: but I just wasn't able to give myself that softness

920
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 3: at the time, Like I just couldn't do it, you know.

921
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,439
Speaker 3: But now we bust each other's balls all the time.

922
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 2: Also, why do we call it busballs?

923
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 1: It's so gross. I don't know. I know, I don't know.

924
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:08,240
Speaker 1: It's not gross.

925
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 2: But if my kid makes fun of me, I will cry.

926
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 1: But think about that. Think about that because I would

927
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: invite you to do work now, because what you don't

928
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: want too is the moment your kid's authentic with you,

929
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 1: you have an emotional reaction no.

930
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 3: Because then she'll be like, oh, I can't do that

931
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 3: because I don't want to hurt my mom.

932
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, I can't. Yeah, I can't be myself.

933
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 1: I can't call mom out. Or some kids will be like,

934
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that all the time. I'm gonna do

935
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: that all the time. I'll push that button. I'm gonna

936
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: push that button.

937
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just got some big reaction and connection through

938
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:45,400
Speaker 5: that moment.

939
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: I love it. I love so much when they sit

940
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,800
Speaker 1: in their truth of what they're experiencing in the moment

941
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: through my husband and I. I freaking love it. I

942
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 1: love it so much because it's like, oh, you're you're learning,

943
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 1: you're learning, like and yeah, sometimes I can. I think that,

944
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,240
Speaker 1: you know. I think this is also like the working

945
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: parent guilt is that I'm like, when I am with

946
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: them for a window of time, I feel like I

947
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 1: have did like do all my parenting. Yeah, yeah, my god.

948
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 1: And what they want, Yeah, what they want is just

949
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 1: like just like hang out and drive, dude, just like

950
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 1: drive and we'll listen to music.

951
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 3: Like it's fine, don't be like doing your weird Ted

952
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 3: talk about like yeah yeah, yeah, no, no, it's real.

953
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 2: That's really Yeah.

954
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,879
Speaker 1: Like David, my husband, was like was talking about how

955
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: he recently lost his mom and he was talking about

956
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 1: like what he didn't realize until he was older is

957
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 1: the days where it was like we're having breakfast for

958
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,799
Speaker 1: dinner and they were like, yeah, those were the days

959
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 1: that she thought she was failing, right, you know that

960
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: she was like, oh my god, I'm giving my kids pancakes,

961
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:48,439
Speaker 1: Like oh no, and.

962
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:49,439
Speaker 7: They loved it.

963
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. The day that like we think where it's like, okay,

964
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 1: guess what it's in and out? Yeah, go, they're like

965
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 1: fast food.

966
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 7: We never get this, yeah, and they all love it.

967
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: And you know it's it's just it's that soft voice.

968
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 1: It's like, we have to allow the softness. Yes, there's

969
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: we have to allow. We have to allow equal So

970
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 1: if there's gonna be meanness, there has.

971
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:17,320
Speaker 2: To be happy, more better.

972
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 3: I like that as the takeaway is like and I

973
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 3: think that is something that I've that I know, but

974
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 3: it's nice to be reminded of that.

975
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 2: If I'm gonna be like.

976
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this is I'm horrible at this and

977
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 3: I'm the worst and I'm the then I also have

978
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,479
Speaker 3: to be like, I'm actually pretty good at this, and

979
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 3: look at how cute this is or you know, whatever

980
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 3: it is that I'm criticizing in that moment or like

981
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:45,799
Speaker 3: trying to get better at doesn't have to come from

982
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,360
Speaker 3: a critical, shitty, mean voice. It can come from a

983
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 3: place of like.

984
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 2: You're still learning about this, so like that's good, you

985
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 2: did a great job.

986
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 3: Just how I try to talk to Roz until she

987
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 3: fucking mouths off in the back of the car and

988
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 3: Charlie told me that I'm doing a ted talk. I

989
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 3: won't stand for it. Melissa, what's your takeaway today?

990
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, I am going to be laughing about

991
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 5: that tech talk joke for a long time.

992
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,439
Speaker 1: It's honestly really funny. Here's the thing steps if you're.

993
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 5: So funny, and that's the thing too, if you have

994
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 5: a funny kid, it's like, yeah, prepare yourself because yeah,

995
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 5: she is funny. She is so get ready then like

996
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 5: that funny shit and so makes fun of me all

997
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 5: the time.

998
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:30,359
Speaker 1: But he's like testing out like.

999
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 5: What boundaries boundaries and what works and also just like

1000
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:37,440
Speaker 5: is that funny? Like you know, he'll like wait for

1001
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:41,799
Speaker 5: the laugh. Oh my gosh. So many amazing gems that

1002
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 5: you dropped on us today, Gloria. I think my takeaway

1003
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 5: the biggest one I'm taking with me today is uh,

1004
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 5: the not letting people, not letting the story people are

1005
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 5: telling about you in right, and just like sticking true.

1006
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 1: To like your story.

1007
00:49:57,120 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 5: You know yourself, you know the story you're telling, you

1008
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 5: know who you are and yeah that was a chef's kiss.

1009
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, or if you don't know who you are, like

1010
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 3: if you're like, oh, I don't know, Like there's probably

1011
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 3: a little flame of something in there that you can

1012
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 3: like tend to.

1013
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And I think I also feel like people

1014
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 1: should write down their story, even for their kids or grandkids.

1015
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 1: They should tell they should write it down or or

1016
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:28,320
Speaker 1: voice memo it, Like I would what I would kill

1017
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: to have my grandmother telling the story of her life

1018
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 1: on my phone that I could just listen to sometimes.

1019
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:38,240
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh that would be such a gem.

1020
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 1: And so like everybody should at some point say, this

1021
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:43,320
Speaker 1: is who I was, and this is what I did,

1022
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 1: and this is what I cared about, and this is

1023
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 1: what I fought through, and these are the things I

1024
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: found challenging, and this is the growth that I went through.

1025
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, this was what

1026
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:56,839
Speaker 1: I'm most proud of. Like, oh my gosh, oh my god.

1027
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,320
Speaker 5: That makes me want to like literally make every person

1028
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 5: I'm related to to do that. Send out a mass

1029
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 5: email dear friends and family, please in.

1030
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 1: The next five years before anything gets sad. Before open

1031
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 1: the voice notes started beginning as far back as you

1032
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:22,359
Speaker 1: can remember, it's already sad. Things are. It's sad, it's

1033
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 1: we're doing it's now it's now do you guys.

1034
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:29,839
Speaker 2: We can't end on that, but we can't have.

1035
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:32,800
Speaker 1: No Yeah, sorry I took a dark turn. Sorry everything

1036
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 1: happy thing. I blame the day quill.

1037
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 3: I think I do want to say, like before we

1038
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:42,799
Speaker 3: wrap up, like, uh, the the thing that I think

1039
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 3: is like, and this is a work thing, but I

1040
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 3: do think storytelling and sharing stories, especially in media now,

1041
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 3: is a way to shape and connect us, right, And

1042
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 3: like a lot of a lot of the talk is like, well,

1043
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 3: my algorithm's feeding me this, so that's what I'm seeing, right,

1044
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 3: And and that's true, But I also think like something

1045
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 3: important to do for yourself is to sort of seek

1046
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 3: out stories that aren't necessarily your that don't reflect back your.

1047
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 1: Own echo chamber.

1048
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, your own echo chamber.

1049
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:27,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, And because like building empathy and sympathy, mostly

1050
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 3: empathy for.

1051
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 2: People that are very different from you.

1052
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:36,799
Speaker 3: Like culture's, socioeconomic groups, like all of it, right, Like,

1053
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 3: so much of that empathy is built when you're listening

1054
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 3: to story and narrative story.

1055
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:47,439
Speaker 2: I think a lot.

1056
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:50,399
Speaker 3: I guess I just wanted to say, I think it's

1057
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 3: very cool what you do, Gloria, And like I'm not

1058
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 3: a writer, I'm pretty good at writing jokes. But I'm

1059
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,879
Speaker 3: not like a writer, Like I'm not a world builder necessarily,

1060
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 3: not in the way that you are.

1061
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,839
Speaker 2: And I think it's very I think we're just lucky

1062
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 2: to have writers. I think we're very, very lucky to

1063
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 2: have writers.

1064
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,719
Speaker 3: And I don't know that everybody that watches TV thinks

1065
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:16,520
Speaker 3: about that, but I would encourage the art listeners and

1066
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 3: like to think about that the next time that you're

1067
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:22,280
Speaker 3: watching stuff. It's like, oh, somebody, this came from someone's brain.

1068
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 3: There was a lot, a lot to make it happen.

1069
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:26,840
Speaker 2: But like this is somebody.

1070
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:30,800
Speaker 3: Like this came from somebody's brain, Like someone told the story.

1071
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 5: And their heart and their life experience and like their

1072
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:38,280
Speaker 5: unique path through this crazy thing called life.

1073
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:39,560
Speaker 1: Like I agree with you.

1074
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:42,720
Speaker 5: I think writers are the most important piece of this whole,

1075
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 5: like Hollywood puzzle. But yeah, so grateful to have you

1076
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:48,120
Speaker 5: on today, Gloria.

1077
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 1: I think you're so happy with you guys. Thanks for

1078
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 1: having me. Thanks. I was a great kind of on

1079
00:53:57,719 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 1: topic sort of doesn't matter.

1080
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 2: I feel more better, do you, Melissa?

1081
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 5: I feel so much more better, Except you're gonna feel

1082
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 5: really good when you get another dose of that data.

1083
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:19,240
Speaker 6: Sleepa day quill the good stuff. This is not sponsored

1084
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 6: by night club. This is not sponsored, but you know

1085
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 6: give us Paul.

1086
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 3: We're always uh wedding again, Gloria, thanks again for being

1087
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:29,280
Speaker 3: on and everybody will.

1088
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:30,439
Speaker 2: See you next week.

1089
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,240
Speaker 1: See you next week, Bye.

1090
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 3: Bye, More and more Better. Do you have something you'd

1091
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 3: like to be more better at that you want us

1092
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 3: to talk about in the future episode.

1093
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 5: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried

1094
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 5: one of our tips and tricks?

1095
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 3: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at

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00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,279
Speaker 3: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you

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00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 3: want to be featured on the pod. More Better with

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00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 3: Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's

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Speaker 3: my podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Diatriz, and Melissa Fumaro.

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00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 1: More Better is produced by.

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00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 3: ISIS Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zabos.

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Speaker 5: Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Fumero, along

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00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,919
Speaker 5: with Wilmar Valderrama and Leo Clem at w V Sound

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00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 5: and ISIS Madrid.

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00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 2: This episode was edited.

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00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,800
Speaker 3: By ISIS Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features

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00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 3: original music by Madison Davenport and Hello Boy. Our cover

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00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 3: art is by Vincent Remy's and photography by David Avalos.

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Speaker 3: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 3: or wherever you.

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00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 1: Listen to your favorite shows. See you next week, suck

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Speaker 1: us Bye,