WEBVTT - Popping The Question with Amy & T.J. 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:13.640 Hello everyone. 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:16.200 I'm Amy Romo and I'm TJ. Holmes. I just said 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:17.840 you start this one, and that's what you start with. 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:20.080 Just I thought you had a big laid out intro. 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:21.919 Just let me know who they're hearing. 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:25.079 Okay, I'm TJ. Holmes. Now I gotta keep going. 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:28.240 No, I can continue. Now. We are two of your hosts, 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:31.800 and I do part two. Hopefully maybe you know us 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:35.160 from our other podcast, Amy and TJ. And maybe you're 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.880 listening to our daily podcast, The Morning Run. 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:40.720 Yes, we got a lot, but this one's been fun, 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:42.559 and this is this might be the one where we 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:44.960 have the most experience in talking about. This is the 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:46.800 one we're experts in. But I do part two. It's 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:48.520 been a fun podcast. We've been a part of helping 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:50.559 people find love if they didn't get it right the 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:54.000 first or second or even third time around. That's what 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:55.400 we're here for. We're gonna have a little fun in 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:55.720 this one. 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:58.080 Yes, that's right. We're gonna ask each other some questions 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:01.240 and hopefully you all can ask yourself these questions, maybe 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:04.200 your significant other or the person you're dating. This is 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:06.280 just a fun kind of pop quiz where it gets 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:09.160 people thinking about what you like what you don't, so 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:10.119 I'll start. 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:11.640 Okay, and we have these in front of us, but 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:14.319 we purposely did not look through the questions ahead of time, 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:16.839 so we actually don't know what's coming. So go right ahead. 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:19.080 These are for the producers of I Do Part two. 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:21.959 So let's just take a great blind stab at this. 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:25.200 If a woman is dating someone who only texts her 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:29.000 late at night to hang out, but she's wanting a relationship, 0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:32.360 what should she say or do to get her point 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:34.119 across without scaring the guy off. 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:37.880 Nothing. You do not need to I say this to 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:41.240 my female friends all the time. Do not cater to 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:44.360 someone who is showing you what he thinks about you 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:46.760 in the time he wants to spend. It's not that difficult. 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:48.600 A guy is texting you late at night, you're not 0:01:48.640 --> 0:01:52.240 getting what you want, be willing to walk scare him 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:54.880 off by You're the one that should be scared off. 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:58.120 You should be scared by his behavior. So I'm not 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:00.120 a big fan, certainly when it comes to adults. You've 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.480 heard me say this to female friends. You're a grown 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:06.480 ass woman. Grown you ain't got time. Your biological clock 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:09.480 is ticking according to you, so why are you wasting 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:11.960 time with someone who is clearly showing you what he 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:13.760 thinks about you and this relationship. 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.320 Yes, so this might be an extreme thing, but my 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:19.600 mom always told me this. She said, if a man 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.160 wants to be with you, he will walk across water 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:24.480 to be with you. If a man is only calling 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:28.160 you at eleven PM or at two am for yes, 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:30.640 a booty call, that's what he thinks of you, and 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:32.800 that's what he wants from you, and you're not going 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:35.399 to change his mind. So I don't think. I think 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:37.560 sometimes us women think we can change a guy, or 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:39.600 we can get him to like us, or we can 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:40.560 play enough games. 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:41.280 How does that work out? 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:45.240 It doesn't work out because I just you, and you know, 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:47.760 deep down, you know when you're getting these late night 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.880 phone calls, you're not getting the attention that you deserve 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:54.120 in a relationship, in a real relationship with all of 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:57.640 the things you're hoping for, including a lifelong partner. That's 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:00.760 not what a lifelong partner does. And sometimes just about 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.640 being honest with yourself. I don't think you can change, manipulate, 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:05.960 or control that situation. You want to accept it. 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:08.799 You're an adult. Ask one time, say I noticed you've 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:12.440 been only text me late at night. You can ask why, 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:14.880 what are you expecting? How would you like to move? 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:16.920 You ask it one time, It's okay, but. 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:18.800 You already know the answer. You do if you have 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:19.519 to ask. 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:21.720 It, I agree with you. But if you want to 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.160 give it the shot that you want, at least ask 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:28.200 so you'll know and move, it's okay to move on. 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:30.840 I say this often times about guys. I'm not going 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:36.400 to say that. Okay. Actually, now you've heard me say 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:39.200 it before. Cats in here all right? Next up, rods. 0:03:39.240 --> 0:03:41.720 When you're dating someone new, when should you have the 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:46.320 what are we? Conversation? When do guys know they want 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:49.360 to make someone their girlfriend? When do women know? So? 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:50.840 In the first part of that, when should you have 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:52.520 the what are we? Conversations? 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:57.280 Hmmm? I think once you know you've developed strong feelings 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:00.000 for someone and you want something more, I think that's 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.080 when you say hey, And I think this is when 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:05.000 you be vulnerable. It's okay to be vulnerable because if 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:06.800 you're afraid to hear the answer, it's better to know 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:09.080 it now than six months from now or a year 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.280 from now. I'd rather know so when I've developed or 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.119 when you've developed strong feelings for somebody and you want 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:16.120 to take it to the next level. Instead of saying 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:18.360 what are we say, Hey, I don't know if you're 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.359 feeling the same way I do, but I would like 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:22.360 to be serious with you. I would like for us 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:26.000 to be exclusive and take that step. That's what I 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:26.800 would suggest. 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:28.880 Oh, anything short of first day, I mean not going 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:30.839 to first day. No, Hey, that's a lot. Where are 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.600 we going now? Obviously you're not going to do that, 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:37.520 but anytime you feel comfortable doing so, anytime you are ready, 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:41.279 and if you don't know the moment you don't know, 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.800 ask would be my suggestion. If most of the time 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:48.080 we are not confused about what's happening and what's going on, 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:50.120 then you eventually have a question about I wonder if 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.520 they're dating anybody else. I wonder if they're seeing anybody else. 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:55.160 You have got to ask that question as soon as 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:57.600 you're unsure, is what I would wait. 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:01.000 We asked we have that conversation. Well, obviously we had 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:03.800 been friends for eight years, but once we decided to 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:08.279 start seeing each other as more than friends, I flat 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:09.880 out said to you right away, and by the way, 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:13.800 because of our relationship, because of our history, I'm not 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:17.960 going into this relationship with you just dating you casually, 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:20.480 So if you're not okay with that, then we should 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:22.520 probably just stay friends. And I think it's important if 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:24.600 you know, I think it's important to state it well. 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:26.520 I think it's so funny that you you're it's that 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:29.640 and it's that significant of a moment in a relationship 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:31.440 that I remember we were at blooms Bar. I remember 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:34.640 the table we were sitting in Midtown when the conversation happened. 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:37.320 I remember the setting. I remember this it because I 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:39.479 remember being a little nervous saying it, but knowing that 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:41.400 I needed to say it. I I just am a 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:44.880 firm believer. If you know how you feel, you should 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:46.960 say it, and if you know what you want, you 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:50.719 should say it. Okay, So around the same on the 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:52.800 same page with that, all right? When a relationship ends? 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:54.560 Okay, I'm sorry I missed the other two. When you 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:56.800 guys know they want to make someone their girlfriend? And 0:05:56.800 --> 0:06:00.600 when do women know? When do god know? 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:04.560 There's no from Okay, you say, when do guys. 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.880 Know they want to make someone their girlfriend? That just varies, 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:14.080 and oftentimes a guy will not make someone his girlfriend 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:18.120 until he's been forced to make that decision. 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:20.240 Right, that's not a good thing. 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:23.120 I don't think it's a good thing. You would like 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:25.480 for the guy to, you know, take that up on 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:29.240 him on his own, without being nudged or it being suggested. 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.640 But sometimes you got to get the clarity and it's 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:35.840 okay to ask. And sometimes the guy doesn't realize where 0:06:35.880 --> 0:06:38.000 the woman is in the relationship. It's just the conversation 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.200 that has to take place. But that's not some magical 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:46.040 moment where a guy will turn that page. But sometimes 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:48.840 you have to make the guy because if he has 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:51.520 a right, he's dating this woman, that woman, that woman, 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:56.200 and one of the women he's dating is not complaining. 0:06:56.640 --> 0:06:59.400 Everything seems to be fine. Text her eleven o'clock. She responds, 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:01.559 she lets me come. We don't have to go to lunch. 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:03.800 I get to see you this weekend after football. Why 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:05.719 would I let go? Why would I mess that up? 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.440 If she's not even complaining about it. So you have 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:11.080 to be clear with the guy. Sometimes, I would argue, 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.760 although there's plenty of guys out there who meet someone 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:15.520 in the looking for a relationship and they want to 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:17.840 be in an exclusive relationship. There are plenty of that 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:20.400 out there, but sometimes you got to force a guy's hands. 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:22.000 Well, what did you think when I said that to you? 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:25.080 By the way, I was relieved, but we were in 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:28.800 a different place in our lives. I was relieved, glad 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.400 to hear it. I'm like, okay, cool. That wasn't a 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:32.120 difficult conversa. 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:34.240 No, no, no, it was. It was just kind of like, 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:37.360 just to be sure, let's just say this out loud, 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.200 so we're both on the same page. 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:41.960 And that was huge for us. Yes, and got out 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:42.880 of the way, and here we are. 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:45.680 And in terms of when women know, I think the 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:48.840 moment I know that I don't want the guy I'm 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:53.120 seeing to see anyone else. That then I know, you know, 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:55.960 I think if I know and I don't want to 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:59.400 see any one else, I'm not still curious. I know 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:01.600 I want to be this person. It's just it's just 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:05.040 something that's I don't think it's intangible. I couldn't put 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:07.000 a timeline on it. I couldn't put a moment on it. 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:10.240 You just feel like I want to be around this person. 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:13.520 In fact, I never don't want to be around this person, 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:16.040 you know. Anyway, that would be the best way I 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:29.600 could describe. Okay, next question. When a relationship ends, should 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:32.160 you keep the things your ex gave you or get 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:32.760 rid of them? 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:37.400 That's that's personal choice. But if it's a wildly expensive item, 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:41.960 hold on to it. Otherwise I just steh, just just 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:43.440 skin it out of the house. I mean, just don't 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:44.760 want to look at it, don't want to say it's 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:46.920 just and some people don't mind it. It's not a 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:49.000 big deal and it doesn't matter if the relationship ended 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:51.760 well or not so well. It's just you just want 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.120 to clear things out. 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:57.400 I'm a big believer that those items that have been 0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:59.840 given to you by someone else who you're no longer with, 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:03.600 they carry memories and feelings and they end up weighing 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:07.000 you down. So I'm a big believer. I've actually gifted 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:09.960 it and said, hey, this is something that's of value, 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:13.720 and you know, would you like my daughters or like? So, yes, 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.760 I don't like hanging onto that stuff. I do not 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:19.160 like hanging onto it. But again it's a personal choice. 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:22.280 I don't think anyone should or shouldn't do it. I 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:23.320 just I get rid of it. 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:26.320 Here we are, the holidays are upon us. How long 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:29.240 should you be dating someone before inviting and inviting them 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:30.800 to the holidays with family. 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:34.400 I think it's I don't think there's a timeline again. 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:36.480 I think it's when you know that's the person who 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:40.480 you are exclusively dating, and you are actually excited about 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:42.720 introducing your family to them. I mean, I think you 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:46.280 have to say, I think this person potentially could become 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:49.080 a part of our family. I wouldn't just bring anybody 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:50.679 to meet my family. 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:52.599 But anybody. What if is there a time range that 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.920 we've only been made dating two months, but we're exclusive. 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:58.200 I don't think you can put a timeline on it. 0:09:58.440 --> 0:09:59.000 How about you? 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:04.120 I think it depends on the family. I think it does. 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:06.760 I think you could read your family if these are 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:09.200 folks who would be open and welcoming and fun to 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:11.880 whoever comes in, and they don't care who it is. 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:13.320 I don't care how long are you going to be together, 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:15.640 Just good folks, and they'll welcome in other good folks. 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:19.880 The other part of it is your family might be 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.120 very You might not want to put your mate through 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:25.000 your family. I get any time you ain't ready for 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:25.720 these folks here. 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.840 That's absolutely I get that that's true. All right, we 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.840 just learned this term. I'm looking at it it's cuffing season. 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.240 I'm wondering if the listeners out there know what it is. 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:40.440 But we actually have a definition here. It's defined as 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:42.880 the time of year when single people actively search for 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:45.720 short term romantic Oh, short term, I didn't know, short 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:49.319 term romantic partners to spend the colder months with, typically 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:54.560 from October through March, culminating with Valentine's Day. Cuff obviously 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:59.640 alluding to handcuffs attaching oneself to another individual. It's not sexual, 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:01.439 we're joined. 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:03.880 Right, that's romantic. Right, let's cuff ourselves to. 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:05.880 The I feel like it's like body warmth or something 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:07.920 like we need body heat for the colder months or something. 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:11.120 But anyway, we've heard, we're familiar with this segment of 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:14.400 the calendar, if you will. Holidays are coming up. People 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:16.760 want to be booed up. You got New Year's coming, 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:19.079 people want to be booed up. Then you got Valentine's 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:21.360 Day coming, people want to be booed up. After that, 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:24.400 you've served your purpose. We can go our separate ways. 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:25.840 It's not girl summer coming. 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:28.640 Up, right, But I didn't know it was called I 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:29.360 didn't know it had that. 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:32.360 Cuffing season, all right, So The question is what things 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:36.000 should our single listeners be taking into consideration if they 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:39.040 are thinking about rekindling with their ex right. 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.840 Now, remember why they're your ex. Period. 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.440 That is exactly what I was going to say. Okay, 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:44.960 we're good with that. 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:48.040 Remember why they are your ex, and that should guide you. 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:52.400 And I didn't know you are you are actively searching 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:56.079 for a short term partner. That's just a night out 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:56.680 at the club. 0:11:57.040 --> 0:12:01.760 I mean it, yes, but it could be like revisited 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:05.120 arguments and the imagine all the baggage that comes with 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:08.280 looking or revisiting your ex again. There is a reason 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:09.600 you broke up, all right, I think we can move 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:10.560 on to the next question. 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:13.560 I when a relationship or a marriage ends and you 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:16.360 didn't have children together, should you maintain a connection with 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:21.760 your ex's family. My answer starts with hell and it 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:22.400 ends with no. 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:27.960 I mean yes, I yes, that has been that has 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:32.000 been my experience. But I would say sometimes people develop 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:35.600 a really wonderful relationship with, you know, the sister that 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:38.360 they never had, or they found a mom figure. I 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:43.480 would never have been in that camp, but I can 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:45.600 imagine there would be a situation in which that would 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:49.040 be Okay, it just feels a little bit strange. 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:51.920 Didn't you just give an answer about getting rid of 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.520 stuff that she X gave you? So get rid of 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:56.480 the sweato, but keep the system it also, I. 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:58.400 Will say this, it also would feel annoying to me. 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.320 I'm just gonna say this with my family. If an 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.520 X was constantly trying to keep relationships alive with my 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:05.840 family members, I would be curious as to why were 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:08.280 they trying to get back or stay in the It 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:12.040 would feel a little intrusive and a little invasive if 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:14.679 you were the person whose family your ex was trying 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:17.120 to maintain or keep a relationship with. 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:17.760 That's a good point. 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:19.319 It feels a little wird, all right. Do you think 0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:23.040 a relationship can last if people have opposing political views? 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:27.160 Obviously, James Carville and his wife, we're doing just fine, exactly, 0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:30.280 of course you can. I guess it makes some of 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.640 those family dinners a little more difficult. But we talk 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:35.720 about having the same sense of humor, liking to do 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:39.679 the same things, having the same backgrounds, parenting the same way. 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:42.200 You got to have so many things that it helps 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:45.560 to have similar ways of thinking in a larger a 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:47.800 lot of major areas, you could be a saver and 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:49.800 I'm a spender. You know that makes a difference, So 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.960 why wouldn't political views also make a difference. I think 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:53.559 it can have a huge impact. But of course you 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:54.520 can overcome You. 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:56.600 Can overcome it if you respect one another. And I 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.680 think maybe that's the big distinguishing factor. If you don't 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:02.760 respect someone, any type of difference is not going to 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:04.959 end well. So I think if you have a foundation 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:08.000 of respect, you can actually maybe even look at your 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:12.679 partners opposing views and take them in and maybe just 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:14.520 keep an open mind about a lot of things. I 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:16.760 know that in terms of even family members who have 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:20.560 opposing political views, it constantly keeps you thinking and rethinking. 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:23.320 You know what. It's so easy to point fingers at 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:26.520 the other side, but it's an opportunity maybe to allow 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.720 other opinions to exist. Again, the respect has to be 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:30.160 there though. 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:34.160 All right, this next question here, I guess I'm supposed 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:36.800 to answer this, or maybe it can go both ways. 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:40.640 Here do men get self conscious about their bodies like 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:43.280 women do before having sex with someone new? 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:45.120 I believe that's something only you can answer. 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:48.760 Okay, Yeah, it says because we do. Okay, but it assumed. 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.200 Why is it just an assumption that women do and 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:52.320 not the assumption that men do. 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:57.320 I think. I mean, obviously there are outliers, and generalizations 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.040 aren't always good because there's going to be some and 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:01.960 who doesn't fit the bill. But I think it's fair 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:08.400 to say as a woman, who, yes, people get divorced 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:09.840 or they break up and they go to the gym, 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:13.240 you know you you know I you definitely start thinking, 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:17.480 WHOA now my body is not you know, this is 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:19.520 going to be something seen by someone who I don't 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:21.040 know that well, who I'm going to want to impress. 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:24.640 And yeah, we definitely get self conscious. I do. I did. 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:29.840 We had the conversation, Yeah, we did that. Yeah, because 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:33.040 as friends, it was a weird thing to think about it, right. 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:35.680 I was like we were talking about because we were friends 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:37.920 and we were discussing our relationship but we had not 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.240 been physical, and we talked about you know, how that 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.360 was going to feel. And I definitely felt insecure. 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:49.120 Okay. I remember now a ridiculous story along these lines 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:51.880 that as much as self conscious as we were, as 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:54.240 comfortable and as we were with each other, and you 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:58.000 talk about self conscious about bodies before our relationship turned 0:15:58.000 --> 0:15:59.920 into what it is, and we got anywhere close to this. 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:04.560 There was a time we had to run to the 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:07.920 studio in Times Square and then we had to shower 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:09.880 there right to get ready for the day. There was 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:11.240 something we did in the morning, so we had to 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:15.360 shower there. There was only one bar soap, and I 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.440 was so disgusted at the idea of sharing a bar 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:19.240 of soap with. 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:21.280 You, I mean with friends and colleagues. That is kind 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:21.680 of gross. 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:25.600 But to this question about self, to think that I 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:29.320 was that ill, like I was that like I didn't 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.440 we were at that point, and then we got to 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.040 a point where we are talking about I mean the 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:36.800 things we do now we were, We've done really gross. 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:41.840 I've seen you vomit for miles during a marathon. I 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:43.160 have seen stuff in the bathroom. 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:46.480 I never once see its ward for you, all kinds 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.160 of nasty, nasty, nasty stuff. 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:54.800 So yet self conscious. I think it's natural for anybody, 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:57.080 and for men. I don't know why that would be. 0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:02.560 We would be an exception that oftentimes I can't remember 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:04.199 which comedian and he referred to it this way. It's 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:05.879 always you, always nervous when you're going to see the 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:10.400 other person's cash and prizes for the first time. It's 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:13.840 not this is kind of a big deal. So yes, 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.879 men get self conscious about it about their bodies, of 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:17.439 course they do. 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.840 Okay, next question, do you know what each other's love 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.400 language is? We've had this conversation plenty. 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:25.920 And I never can remember what they are, but they 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:30.280 are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:32.720 physical touch. There were I think we had two each. 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.520 Yeah right, yeah, mine. 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:38.560 Okay, mine is definitely what was it? I think it's 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:41.760 quality time and words of affirmation. 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:44.160 Yes, that's what I would have guessed for you. And 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:48.080 I even said, this is so interesting because my relationship 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:50.960 with you, my love language, what I want and need 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:53.200 is different than what I used to think of myself. 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:59.840 So mine is quality time and physical touch because normally 0:17:59.880 --> 0:18:01.680 I it's an acts of service. But that's a given 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:04.119 with us, like in terms of modes of operation, we 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:08.880 both kind of operate like that. You absolutely, without even thinking, 0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:11.280 are on the acts of service and I am too. 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:14.119 So I don't have to ask that of you or 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:15.920 want that from you, because it's just a given. 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:19.040 And you say physical Touchdow, and you say this all 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:21.800 the time. It doesn't matter how heated of a disagreement 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:23.359 we could be having if I just reach over and 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:26.760 put my hand on your leg or grab your hand. 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:30.960 Oh my gosh, immediate like relaxation, like okay, we're gonna 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:31.600 be okay. 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.040 And it's the last thing I want. 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:35.960 But when you do it, it makes such a big 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:36.800 difference off me. 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:51.480 Get away from me. You mean this is an interesting 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:55.399 one for me. If someone still follows their X on 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:58.879 social media? What does that mean? Do men and women 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:00.520 view this differently? 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:05.280