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Speaker 1: I don't care if it's Easter. I'm gonna get this

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Speaker 1: kid to worship Satan. And here's how.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it. Show me how you would worship Satan.

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Speaker 2: It suck on that Satan.

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Speaker 1: God's cheating, Ariana. Also, this is my girlfriend Arianna. She's

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Speaker 1: subbing in for John while he's out, and obviously, as

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Speaker 1: you know, she would suck the Devil's to worship worship.

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Speaker 2: A little background.

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Speaker 1: I twenty email, live in a big city, and yard

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Speaker 1: space for entertaining is a luxury. I inherited ten acres

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Speaker 1: of land from my grandfather, which he bought in the seventies.

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Speaker 2: Isn't that nice.

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Speaker 1: It's a dream location for an Easter egg hunt, and

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Speaker 1: ninety percent of family events are held on my property.

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Speaker 2: Like it O, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: We'll be.

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Speaker 4: We'll have a farm with our commune and ten acres,

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Speaker 4: ten acres and twenty children.

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Speaker 1: There are two houses on the property, my house that

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Speaker 1: I built two years ago and my grandfather's house, which

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Speaker 1: has remained untouched since he died. I am an atheist

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Speaker 1: and you will not catch me in church, but I

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Speaker 1: have no problem celebrating religious holidays like Easter. If there's

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Speaker 1: food involved.

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Speaker 4: Well, duh, that's what holidays are for food.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not for whoever the birthday was or rising

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Speaker 3: from the dead. I mean, like what he just slept

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Speaker 3: in and all bringing us do a celebration.

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Speaker 2: Come on.

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Speaker 1: My dad and his wife are more active in church

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Speaker 1: than most of the family. My family was getting together

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Speaker 1: for Easter and my dad asked me as a favor

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Speaker 1: to let his wife invite her church friends for an

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Speaker 1: egg hunt after lunch, and I reluctantly agreed. This pious kid,

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Speaker 1: who I thought at the time was twelve or thirteen

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Speaker 1: from his size, but I found out that he was nine,

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Speaker 1: asked me why I never go to church. I guess

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Speaker 1: it's the fat kid eaten to win the Easter eggs.

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Speaker 4: What his size means, it's just a fad. I feel

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Speaker 4: like I don't know how old anybody is now. I mean,

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Speaker 4: I look like I'm like fourteen, and I'm twenty five.

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Speaker 2: I would say you look twenty five.

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Speaker 1: Keep in mind, I have never met this kid in

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Speaker 1: my life, so I can only assume he has heard

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Speaker 1: something about me from my step moum All I said,

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Speaker 1: was church was not my thing? Yesked, why not? I said,

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Speaker 1: a different point of view? And he wanted to know

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Speaker 1: what religion I was. I said, I do not belong

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Speaker 1: to any religion and I consider myself an atheist. He

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Speaker 1: asked what is that, and I said, I don't believe

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Speaker 1: in a higher power. From that conversation, he told me

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Speaker 1: I was a double officer.

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Speaker 2: You're a devil worshipper.

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Speaker 3: Get away from me.

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Speaker 2: Say that the devil. I was like, what the right?

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Speaker 2: Because he's like, why are you calling me a devil?

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Speaker 4: For you? I'm in binding you to my home and

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Speaker 4: now you're calling me a devil worshiper. I'm forgetting hosting

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Speaker 4: this Easter egg hunt for you, you.

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Speaker 2: Worshippers.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, but op double's down.

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Speaker 2: I told him I was a.

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Speaker 1: Devil worshiper and in the house he would see my

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Speaker 1: animals sacrifices mounted to the wall.

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Speaker 4: Due this guy, he's funny, but like a little.

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Speaker 2: I told him, everyone thinks I got those deer from

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Speaker 2: hunting the sacrificers. The kid lost his ship.

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Speaker 1: He ran screaming to his mom that I was a

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Speaker 1: devil worshiper and sacrificed animals. He was crying with snot

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Speaker 1: running down his fat, little chubby nine year old that

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Speaker 1: looks like a thirteen year old space Okay, before we

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Speaker 1: talk about the eventual fallout from this and the step

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Speaker 1: mom Sam.

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Speaker 3: You know, we talk about a lot of really hard

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Speaker 3: situations on this podcast.

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Speaker 2: Oh Baby, the hardest.

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Speaker 3: we need hard in this world.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, back to the episode, go ps and a

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Speaker 3: hole for like poisoning this.

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Speaker 1: I would love to know what you guys think first,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, yeah, for poisoning brain.

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Speaker 2: But in the comments, by the way.

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Speaker 4: Well, I mean, listen, we lie to kids about all

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Speaker 4: sorts of stuff like Santa, But.

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Speaker 2: Dude, are we gonna have kids kids about just Christ?

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Speaker 4: Would you not tell them that that you're a double worshipper.

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Speaker 5: I would not.

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Speaker 4: Would you have had like a philosophical chat with the

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Speaker 4: kid about like okay, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I would have done that, But I wouldn't have doubled

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Speaker 1: down and said I was a double worship bird.

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Speaker 2: Scar the years old she toook around my kids.

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Speaker 1: But he's like at a scar to this kid for

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Speaker 1: a lot. I think it's an a hole move.

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Speaker 2: You think it's not good to stay at that house.

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Speaker 1: But okay, Arianna loves to torment kids. At first, my

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Speaker 1: dad and stepmom did not get what the kid was

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Speaker 1: saying because I don't hunt deer mounted on the walls

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Speaker 1: belong to my grandfather. My dad asked, why does this

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Speaker 1: kid think you were a devilwaship?

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Speaker 2: He and deer?

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Speaker 1: I told him the kid was nosy and made assumption

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Speaker 1: that I agreed with. I got yelled at by the

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Speaker 1: kid's parents. They are yelling at me right in the face,

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Speaker 1: and I could not stop laughing, telling me about my

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Speaker 1: prosperity and that I weave. I told him to go

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Speaker 1: take their superstition off my property. If I live in hell,

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Speaker 1: they get.

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Speaker 2: The hell out of it. Was funny, It was good, So.

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Speaker 1: You know it's funny when she says that was funny.

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Speaker 1: That was good, really funny, Sam love your ponds really

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Speaker 1: making me laugh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, I.

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Speaker 1: Am couching so much hell drama. Lama Bah, I'm a

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Speaker 1: stepmom is saying I have humiliated her in front of

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Speaker 1: the entire church, and.

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Speaker 2: She will never forget made.

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Speaker 3: They're gonna call her catholic.

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Speaker 2: Karen oh, look at her. She's catching on. I told

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Speaker 2: her I don't give because I'm a Satan worshiper, and

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Speaker 2: reminded her I only tolerate her.

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Speaker 1: My dad wrote a public apology on his Facebook on

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Speaker 1: my behalf. There was some backlash from the family and

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Speaker 1: he deleted it. I feel a family meeting coming on

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Speaker 1: which I won't subject myself to invention for this.

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Speaker 2: It is an intervention, bro, You're.

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Speaker 4: Gonna try to send him to what's the thing called

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Speaker 4: where you go tell the priests like.

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Speaker 2: Oh, confession, could confess you're such a good little Catholic.

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Speaker 3: I'm a good Catholic?

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Speaker 1: Am I the ale for agreeing with this little brat

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Speaker 1: about his assumptions? Guys, I want to know what you think.

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Speaker 1: Put it in the comments from while you're typing away Arianna.

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Speaker 2: What do you think?

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Speaker 4: What do I think?

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Speaker 1: Is he the a hole? We already discussed a little bit,

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Speaker 1: but a definitive answer.

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Speaker 4: I think the little family funds? Okay, they're trying to

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Speaker 4: shove there.

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Speaker 1: It's your definition of family funds, all right? Let me

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Speaker 1: know if you agree with Arianna. Also, this is my girlfriend, Arianna.

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Speaker 1: Please be nice to her. She's summoned in for John.

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Speaker 1: He's gone this week and I'll see you in the

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Speaker 1: next episode.

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Speaker 3: I was paid to do nothing for eighty nine days,

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Speaker 3: but today is a deadline and the company throwned out.

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Speaker 2: Okayop, this is OKAYOP.

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Speaker 1: I'm Samuel Donner and I'm John Fry, and we tell

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Speaker 1: the Bunny of stores on the internet.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we do. And I'm wondering, Sam, what's like the

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Speaker 3: worst instance of you forgetting something? Like, what's been the

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Speaker 3: biggest downfall of you for getting something?

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Speaker 1: I put like a couple thousand dollars in this random

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Speaker 1: crypto bank thing, and I had literally, like I had

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Speaker 1: a moment last a couple of weeks ago where I

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Speaker 1: was like, I have forgot my keys and I had

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Speaker 1: no idea where it was. Yeah, and then I remember,

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Speaker 1: oh wait, wait, I think I said one of my books.

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Speaker 1: But I had to like go through every single book

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Speaker 1: to find where I had written down these keys on

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Speaker 1: like a post it note, which is not the most

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Speaker 1: safe method before holding all of my bank details, which

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Speaker 1: is basically but one of these things are so yeah,

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Speaker 1: I totally almost got screwed over. But luckily I found

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Speaker 1: it and I was able to regain that money back.

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Speaker 3: That is good to hear. Yeah, it's kind of like

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Speaker 3: the equival of like the crypto, stuffing the money in

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Speaker 3: the mattress, right, Like your key to the crypto is.

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Speaker 2: Like the cash.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely something I shouldn't do and am going to

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Speaker 1: be better about going forward hopefully.

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Speaker 3: Well. I have a story about someone who also made

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Speaker 3: a grave mistake, except it wasn't just his own money,

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Speaker 3: it was the company that was at stake.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, those steaks are big.

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Speaker 1: When you're dealing with that fortune, five hundred big old

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Speaker 1: warm buffet business. Daddy's gonna come with his club and

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Speaker 1: a curb stomp, ready to take action.

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Speaker 3: Bigger steaks and a tea bone a baby, let's get

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Speaker 3: into it. I was paid to do nothing for eighty

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Speaker 3: nine days, but today is the deadline, and the company

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Speaker 3: found out.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, the company found out you were doing your job.

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Speaker 2: Rats foiled again, foiled again.

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Speaker 3: All right. So I've been a student with the public

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Speaker 3: service for about two years now. My position, obviously Maxking specifics,

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Speaker 3: can be best described as a risk analyst, where I'm

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Speaker 3: given fifty to ninety days to review a file, confirm

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Speaker 3: risk slash liability is feasible, and then start drafting the contract. Okay,

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Speaker 3: sounds simple enough, sound straightforward. The fifty to ninety days

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Speaker 3: depends on the overall value of the work. As a student,

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Speaker 3: I was only seeing the easy, low value workload with

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Speaker 3: a fifty day expectation. I'm pretty good at my job,

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Speaker 3: and I was able to get it completed in five

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Speaker 3: to ten days and would officially submit around twenty five

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Speaker 3: to thirty days. Yes, this is what the typical government

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Speaker 3: worker does.

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Speaker 2: Wait, so they just chill for of all weeks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, yo, I finish it in five days,

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Speaker 3: but I'll give it to you in a month.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: That is some expert laziness right there, dude, extremely expert lazy.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad our government is in such good hands government efficiency, baby.

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Speaker 3: Now. I thought this was a fantastic plan as I

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Speaker 3: was consistently getting praise for my team for how hard

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Speaker 3: I work. Wow, he's literally doing it so late and

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Speaker 3: consistently getting praised.

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Speaker 1: I love like that is the bar is set so

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Speaker 1: low for government work that you can sit on your

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Speaker 1: ass for two weeks and get paid and people praise

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Speaker 1: you for it.

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Speaker 3: Dude. Rough, Now, the work here is not difficult in

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Speaker 3: any way, even worse than only does.

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Speaker 2: He not work for two weeks, but the work isn't hard, it's.

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Speaker 3: Not difficult, but it is extremely tedious.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: For example, tomorrow is likely to consist of three to

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Speaker 3: four hours of hard labor of looking at memes and

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Speaker 3: scrolling through Reddit, and then one hour of actually working,

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Speaker 3: which is eventually extended into a lunch, and then going

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Speaker 3: home early. The one hour still gives me enough time

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Speaker 3: to be productive for the day and submit a few

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Speaker 3: things to my team. Now, let's go over the f

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Speaker 3: up from earlier this morning.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm ready for it.

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Speaker 3: Almost four months ago I was offered full time intermediate

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Speaker 3: contract with the same team, which I gladly accepted. This

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Speaker 3: just meant that I would receive a similar workload, but

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Speaker 3: with higher values. So you know, it's not as much

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Speaker 3: the you know, low value stuff anymore.

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Speaker 1: Ah wait, so he's gonna get the exact same amount

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Speaker 1: of workload, but he's just going to have more time

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Speaker 1: to do it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like this, just like if I f it up,

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Speaker 3: it's it's monumentally important versus before it really mattered. In

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Speaker 3: my head, I was thinking, fantastic, higher value equals more

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Speaker 3: time to f around and get paid for it.

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Speaker 5: Hurrah.

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Speaker 1: Oh Pea's of mind is uh is not built for employment?

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Speaker 2: Maybe it is.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, you should do well. This was certainly not the

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Speaker 3: case this morning as I entered work, Oh no. Six

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Speaker 3: forty five am, I walk in and get weird stanky

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Speaker 3: eyes from my entire team leading into the director's office.

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Speaker 3: Seven am. Finish unpacking my computer files and go for

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Speaker 3: my coffee as per usual. Right seven fifteen am, I

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Speaker 3: get called into the director's office. Let's call him direct Jim.

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Speaker 3: Jim and I have spoken maybe twice in all of

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Speaker 3: two years.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Jim is not very active in the opposite,

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Speaker 1: is imagining everyone just sitting on their ass like twenty

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Speaker 1: four to seven? Yeah, government work, baby, it needs to

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Speaker 1: be done twice or not at all.

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Speaker 5: Yes, Jim, Good morning everyone, Opie, did you forget something yesterday?

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Speaker 1: I love like I'm imagining this is just like a

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Speaker 1: massive Texan dude.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, who's.

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Speaker 3: Uh Dim from Timsdale Dimodomes?

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's really odd parents, but that he is even better.

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Speaker 3: Yes, he's a cartoon, but it works for this. Yes,

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Speaker 3: I'm trying my hardest to think. Umm no, I replied Jim.

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Speaker 5: Asked again, are you dang diddl sure you didn't forget something?

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Speaker 3: And naturally I start to panic, What the F could

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Speaker 3: I have forgotten? Why is he asking me twice? Why

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Speaker 3: is he even talking to me?

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Speaker 2: Oh no?

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Speaker 3: I asked him if I could go get my notebook

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Speaker 3: because I track everything there and I don't really have

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Speaker 3: the specifics in my head. He refuses and says file

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Speaker 3: xx three did you forget? You were a signed file.

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Speaker 2: X x three, not x x three.

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Speaker 1: The double x x marks the spot that you didn't

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Speaker 1: realize that you had to mark.

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Speaker 3: Sucker awkward silence for me because there was this file

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Speaker 3: assigned to me right around the time my full contract signing,

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Speaker 3: and that was one of the highest value files of

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Speaker 3: them all.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, so Op is messing up on literally the

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Speaker 1: super Bowl of government projects.

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Speaker 3: All the file. Now here's the thing. I was given

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Speaker 3: eighty days to complete this when it was assigned, but

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Speaker 3: the deadline is today at two pm.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, you better work fast, Op.

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Speaker 5: Jim, go get girl now, boy boy, I want to

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Speaker 5: see you way at and who I can assign to

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Speaker 5: clean up this nonsense mess.

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Speaker 3: This is also extremely awkward because yes, technically I didn't

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Speaker 3: forget about it. But what I couldn't admit was that

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Speaker 3: the file was actually completely done, Like done done?

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Speaker 2: What? Wait? How?

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Speaker 3: Jim starts asking me what I even do all day,

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Speaker 3: threatening to get the IT department to see my browsing

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Speaker 3: history and internet activity.

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Speaker 2: No, oh no no.

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Speaker 3: At this point he's gone from his normal pale white

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Speaker 3: cal himself to red in the face, pacing back and forth.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh.

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Speaker 3: I asked Jim not to involve any of my colleagues,

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Speaker 3: as I assured him I could clean up this mess myself.

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Speaker 3: I get to my laptop and quickly make a new

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Speaker 3: folder for Jim to see, titled XX three. He opens

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Speaker 3: it and it contained just the initial documents my office

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Speaker 3: needs to start a file, but nothing more. So basically

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Speaker 3: like the beginnings of it, but not the whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 3: He lays into me, asking what I've been doing for

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Speaker 3: the last seventy nine days.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, nothing, nothing, nothing.

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Speaker 3: OPI says, this is a fair question. I asked myself

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Speaker 3: often to be honest, and Jim also said if I

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Speaker 3: don't have this completed by two pm, he will terminate

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Speaker 3: me as I am still on probation.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, the job's on the line.

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Speaker 3: Dude, everything's on the line now. Like I said, the

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Speaker 3: entire file from start to finish, is already complete. So

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Speaker 3: what's missing. You might ask the necessary approvals and signatures

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Speaker 3: for my team leader and Jim, the director of our office.

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Speaker 2: Oh so he's fine, So he just needs to get

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Speaker 2: the signatures.

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Speaker 3: These signatures usually take a week to get and are

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Speaker 3: required before moving on to finalizing and posting in our system.

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Speaker 3: I finished this entire MOFO in early October, one week

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Speaker 3: after it was assigned to me. Oh my god, but

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Speaker 3: I completely forgot to submit the individual documents as I

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Speaker 3: progressed with it, and that eventually led to me completely

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Speaker 3: forgetting all about it. Now, the thing is like, actually,

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Speaker 3: like op was an overachiever. It was an overachieved That's

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Speaker 3: why he forgot it. But here's the thing. If he

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Speaker 3: tells him that, then it blows his cover. Then they

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Speaker 3: know that the whole time he was doing these in

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Speaker 3: like five days and then sitting on them the whole time.

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Speaker 3: So that's why I couldn't show them the original files.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, now here we are on Reddit posting about

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Speaker 3: my f up as opposed to actually submitting my own work.

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Speaker 3: So he's literally writing this in the middle of the chaos.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: He's writing it in real time while his boss is

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Speaker 1: yelling at him.

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Speaker 3: For real. It's been almost ninety minutes since and honestly,

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Speaker 3: I'm panicking, bru get back to your work. Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: have no clue what to do right now. Do I

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Speaker 3: submit the entire file now to Jim for his signature,

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Speaker 3: completed top to bottom and own my dishonest action, or

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Speaker 3: submit one doc every thirty minutes to seem like it

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Speaker 3: all went out today to get it completed by two pm. Man, Wow,

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Speaker 3: and there is an updates. Oh wait, there's an update,

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Speaker 3: so we get to see what happened. Yes, I took

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Speaker 3: the wise advice from many of you and submitted everything

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Speaker 3: with an apology, so he basically decided to blow his

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Speaker 3: cover for his wax work style. Jim called me back

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Speaker 3: into his office a few minutes after submitting and I

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Speaker 3: explained how I lost track of time. He signed everything

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Speaker 3: and let me leave with a handshake. Thank you for

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Speaker 3: all the assistants, as I would have just continued panicking.

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Speaker 3: Came here to bench, but got a lot of useful advice. Wow.

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Speaker 3: They literally gave him the solution.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing. That's amazing.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to Reddit for actually helping with life advice.

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Speaker 3: That's aw and that's so crazy, Like literally in real time,

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Speaker 3: people came together and he's like, you know what, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna do it this way. Thanks guys. Wow, that's pretty

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Speaker 3: I'm going to do that the next time I run here.

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Speaker 1: You read it for helping us solve our life problems.

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Speaker 1: But you know what else can solve your life problems?

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00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 5: Ooh?

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00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,920
Speaker 3: Subscribing to okay, subscribe on YouTube, follow us on Spotify

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00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:03,440
Speaker 3: and TikTok.

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Speaker 1: If you want to be a real one, support us

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Speaker 1: on Patreon because you get to talk to us on

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00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:08,359
Speaker 1: our discord channel.

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00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:12,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, you do, join the family. Casey's Neforious, Devine Muhammad,

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00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:17,160
Speaker 3: Amanda Wilcoms, Connor Desiree, Keegan Simmons, and Kathy Quigley.

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Speaker 2: See us soon.