1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:09,400 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone, 2 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about 3 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. You know, 4 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: on this podcast, I like to explore and I like 5 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: to get to know different people that have maybe walked 6 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 1: a different path than myself, because that's the way to 7 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:32,240 Speaker 1: learn from listening to others. Other people's journeys can really 8 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: be enlightening and inspirational as we're all just navigating this 9 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 1: life the best that we know how. We're all just 10 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: doing our best. My guest today is an actor. You 11 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: know him from his role in the hit movie That 12 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: Thing You Do, and he stars in the TV show 13 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: Blue Ridge On I insp he has had such a 14 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: layered and fascinating life and you know what, I want 15 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: to die right into it. Please welcome Jonathan Check to 16 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 1: the I Choose Me Podcast. I'm really so glad that 17 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: you're here. 18 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 2: Well, I'm really grateful to be here. 19 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: You have done something that I have always wanted to do. 20 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:20,320 Speaker 1: You got the hell out of Dodge. You moved out 21 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: of the thunderdome and went to peaceful grounds. What has 22 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: that been like for you? When did you do that 23 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 1: and what has that experience been like for you. 24 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 2: Well, when my son started looking at schools, we you know, 25 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 2: we had to start looking at schools in Los Angeles 26 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:42,960 Speaker 2: and and that kind of opened up the whole idea 27 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 2: of possibly moving out of Los Angeles. He's dyslexic, just 28 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 2: like I am, and I didn't want him to struggle 29 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 2: like I did. So schools in LA there were some 30 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 2: great schools, but it was it wasn't gonna be easy 31 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 2: to get into those schools. And it was kind of 32 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 2: like this whole thing that I didn't want to have to 33 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 2: live my life like. And so when we came out 34 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,079 Speaker 2: to Nashville, Tennessee, we visited a couple of schools. My 35 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:12,359 Speaker 2: wife is from Nashville, and by the time we left 36 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,799 Speaker 2: one of the schools there were like with Kim and 37 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:18,639 Speaker 2: like to come. I was like, yeah, that's yeah, he 38 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 2: would love to come. So we moved out here Abound 39 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen. My wife's from here, so we 40 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 2: got family here for the children. It's been it's been peaceful. 41 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 2: It's a good word, very peaceful. I'm surrounded by horse 42 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 2: farms where I live. 43 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm so jealous, right, Now I don't care about 44 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: fancy bags or shoes. That that is what I care about. 45 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: Peaceful nature, serenity. I love that. That is good. So 46 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: you're saying I should do that, Just move get out 47 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: of the. 48 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:57,239 Speaker 2: Really fit right in here. Here, Jason's here, he's down 49 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 2: the street. 50 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're yes right, your name papers with Jason, 51 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: Jason Prisley. For everybody that doesn't know, that is amazing. 52 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: I would love to be neighbors with Jason. 53 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 2: And a plate studio. 54 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: That she's building her own plate studio. It's amazing. Good 55 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: for them, well, good for all of you. 56 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 2: Wow, I know exactly. 57 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: That was the very smart. Something that's very important to 58 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: me and very important to our listeners is health and 59 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: fitness and just living, trying to live our best life, right, 60 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,640 Speaker 1: And just one glance at your social media and I 61 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: was caught by the fact that you're actually a bona 62 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: fide bodybuilder, like a competitive bodybuilder. Now you can call 63 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: yourself a competitive bodybuilder after the age of fifty. That 64 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: is saying a lot. 65 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, well, I don't know about a bodybuilder, but 66 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 2: come on, I trained really hard and last year before 67 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 2: the strike, and I knew the strike was coming and 68 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 2: I knew I was going to be just my brain 69 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 2: was needed some help and some focus. So I asked 70 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 2: a good friend of mine, Michael O'Hearn, and I know 71 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 2: Michael for thirty years, but it was on my show 72 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 2: Blue Ridge, and he said he would train me to 73 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 2: be this further bodybuilding contest up the street here in Franklin. 74 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 2: And for about six weeks, I trained and dieted just 75 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 2: like a professional bodybuilder, and I went out there and 76 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 2: I won the contest. 77 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 1: It was extream come true. 78 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 2: You know. It was like small town bodybuilding contest, were. 79 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: You like all spray tnd and body oiled up exactly. 80 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 2: I've never done anything like that before. It was so unique. 81 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 2: The best part was having my two little ones out 82 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 2: there screaming for me. That was hotly quite magnificent. 83 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that sounds like so much fun. I mean, 84 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 1: you know our bodies. I mean as a woman, my 85 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: body has changed so much after I turned fifty, and 86 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 1: it continues to change. What it feels like daily as 87 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: a man. What has your experience been with aging and 88 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:09,720 Speaker 1: your body? 89 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was harder to you know, lose that weight 90 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 2: that I you don't want to have that I couldn't 91 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 2: actually have, you know, for what I do for a 92 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 2: living is you know, we have to look at it. 93 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 2: So and I'm not going They're not going to hire 94 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 2: me for any other reason. So I have to train 95 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 2: and keep my body fit. And I'm going to my 96 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 2: television show. I have to do a lot of stunts 97 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 2: and a lot of action. So I trained myself like 98 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 2: a professional athlete. At you know, I turned fifty five 99 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 2: years old, so yeah, I know how important. We just 100 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 2: got to keep going. There's no reason why we can't 101 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 2: be better off now than we were then, since we're 102 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,679 Speaker 2: more motivated now. 103 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: That's so true. It's the motivation now because you know, 104 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 1: this is our second act as they call it, and 105 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:58,919 Speaker 1: we want it to be just as good as the 106 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: first One's right, maybe better? 107 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely want to be better. 108 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: What is your healthy like your diet? How do you 109 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: keep that in control? Because that's hard for me. 110 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's difficult. I So what I what I learned 111 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 2: through from the bodybuilding contest is that my body works 112 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,600 Speaker 2: really well with just proteins. So I eat five meals 113 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 2: a day with enough protein to maintain and grow my 114 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:27,359 Speaker 2: muscle size. So I take supplements for everything else, and 115 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 2: I try not to put anything else to my body. 116 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 2: I'll go for it's amazing. I can go out for 117 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 2: a dinner like anybody else, but I'll eat before we leave, 118 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 2: and then I'll get a piece of salmon or chicken. 119 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 2: I just eat pretty, leaning clean, leaning clean. 120 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: How many grams of protein? I'm really curious about this 121 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 1: protein topic. How many grams of protein are you shooting 122 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: for a day? 123 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,479 Speaker 2: So five meals six ounces or more, six to six 124 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 2: to seven ounces if I'm dieting hard, eight ounces if 125 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,719 Speaker 2: I'm not so. Forty eight ounces of protein. 126 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: That's a lot of protein. 127 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 2: Yeah. I do thing. I wake up in the morning 128 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 2: and I do this pancake and it's awesome. I have 129 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 2: protein powder, right, I put egg whites with protein powder 130 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 2: and shake it up and I pour it on a 131 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 2: plate and then I zap it in the microwave for 132 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 2: like no, Yeah, I zap it rises up like a cake, 133 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 2: comes back down, and then I'll eat that for my 134 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 2: morning breakfast. 135 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: Okay, that's that's a good tip, people. 136 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 2: And I put zero sugar syrup on it, and I'm 137 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 2: feel like I'm eating pancakes. 138 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: You're so happy, everybody. I love that. 139 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 2: I can't wait to wake up. 140 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: Ten years ago, you made probably one of the biggest 141 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: I Choose me decisions of a lifetime. You chose to 142 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: get sober. What made you realize you were ready for that? 143 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 2: You know, I had, I had tried numerous times to 144 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 2: get sober. I go to meetings and wouldn't click. I 145 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 2: couldn't I couldn't really respond. I wasn't responding to the 146 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 2: what everyone was talking about in those meetings. I kept 147 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 2: going back, and then I met my wife, Julie, and 148 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 2: she was pregnant, and I kept looking in the mirror 149 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 2: at myself, saying, who's this guy? You know? Like this? 150 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 2: Am I going to continue doing the things that I've 151 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 2: done in the past? And am I going to ruin 152 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 2: this like I've ruined everything else in my life? And 153 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:38,559 Speaker 2: I just decided that I wasn't use any substance and 154 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 2: I was gonna stop drinking alcohol completely out of my system. 155 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,439 Speaker 2: And then I started realizing how much poison it was 156 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,559 Speaker 2: and what I was doing. It was poisoned my body, 157 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 2: and I just I was I just stopped. I quit 158 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 2: and stopped meetings. I kept going to meetings, got a 159 00:08:56,240 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 2: great sponsor, and I started to find what they call 160 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 2: the miracle in the program. 161 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's very admirable. I saw that you recently 162 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: posted that your you have your ten year chip. 163 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 2: You got my a ten year chip. 164 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 1: That's a big deal, that's a decade. 165 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yes, I went to a meeting here in Nashville. 166 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 2: I hadn't gone to I had gone as an AA 167 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 2: a couple of AA meetings, but I do. I do 168 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 2: different programs, and I found other programs to be more 169 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 2: beneficial for me. But I went to an AA one here. 170 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 2: It's pretty popular here, and I wanted to collect my 171 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 2: ten year chip. I thought it was powerful, you know, 172 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 2: for me to go there and uh and I got 173 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 2: there and they made the announcement, you know, and I 174 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 2: would raise my hand. And I went out there to 175 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 2: collected and everyone's plotting and everything. Didn't have a chip. 176 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 2: They didn't have a ten year chip. 177 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 1: What I know, I didn't have to have the chip. 178 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 2: No physical ten year chip. And they were like, oh 179 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 2: my god, I'm so sorry, you don't have to take 180 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 2: a chip. I was like, okay, well, let's find that 181 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 2: was that's how it's supposed to be. So my wife 182 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 2: got me a ten year chip online. 183 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 1: Oh I love that story. Yeah, speaking of your wife, 184 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: she's been beautiful. 185 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, you would love my wife, I can tell. 186 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I delved into her Instagram also. She seems like 187 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: a really neat lady. Yeah, a really special person. You 188 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: guys are so glad you found each other. 189 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys are very similar. 190 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: How did you meet? I'm curious. 191 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 2: We met here at Nashville, Tennessee, at a Make a 192 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 2: Wish charity foundation. So I used to always come back, 193 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 2: I think only the Nashville over twenty years, and I 194 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 2: became really good friends with Jada Marcus and he's in 195 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 2: the band Rascal Flats and he has this him and 196 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 2: Kevin Carter had this Make a Wish charity foundation. I 197 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 2: don't always show up every it was like every April 198 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 2: and I was with the boys from Rascal Flats and 199 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 2: Julie was there and said hi and kind of clicked. 200 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 1: And right away, right away it was just. 201 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 2: Like she's she's a I kept thinking to myself, like 202 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 2: she's out of my like she's. 203 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: Better than me, she's out of your league. 204 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 2: Out of my league, Yeah, out of my league. And 205 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,680 Speaker 2: then no fact, she kept wanting to be around me. 206 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 2: So we made it official. 207 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 1: And that's amazing. And was that around you said that 208 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: was kind of around the same time that you was 209 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: a few years later that you got sober. Was she 210 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: an integral part of that. 211 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. In the first year that we were together, I 212 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 2: was definitely abusing drugs and alcohol still like I was 213 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 2: a young kid in Hollywood, thinking that that was the 214 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 2: way to entice and this girl. But yeah, I started 215 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 2: to be able to see that that wasn't the truth 216 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 2: and it was wasn't becoming of me to be that 217 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 2: individual anymore. And I wanted to be more than I 218 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 2: wanted to be more for me me, first for her, 219 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,360 Speaker 2: and then turned out to be for our for our 220 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 2: son and then our daughter, and I'm very grateful to 221 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 2: be so we're still to this day. 222 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,440 Speaker 1: Oh it's like fate brought her to you just the 223 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: right time when you are open and ready to make 224 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,199 Speaker 1: some big changes in your life. 225 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, she definitely. She made me think that I 226 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 2: was in the same league as her, and that it 227 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 2: was worth fighting for the things that I always dreamed 228 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 2: of and that God was still by my side, still 229 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 2: with me. She proved it over time, not that God 230 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 2: needs to be proven, but what good things happened to 231 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 2: you and things. You know, you feel that you feel 232 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 2: love in your life again, you know, you know, it's 233 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 2: just not you in this world. 234 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 1: It breaks down the walls that we've put up probably 235 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,080 Speaker 1: you know, and it sort of breaks down also the 236 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: shame that we put on ourselves and we live life 237 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: through that shame. Lens, like you said, like I'm not 238 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 1: good enough for her, She's out of my league. Yeah, 239 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: these things were never true. 240 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 2: It's interesting. The shame was is what I've given up 241 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 2: for the last seven years of my life. And I 242 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,079 Speaker 2: know I had a lot to do with like being 243 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 2: married and thinking that by previous marriage is that it 244 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 2: had to be a certain thing, and then when it 245 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 2: didn't turn out to be the thing, I had so 246 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:23,319 Speaker 2: much shame around it. You know. In my first wedding, 247 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 2: I had a Catholic priest marry us as well as 248 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 2: Breva and Michael beck With from Agape, so they both 249 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,319 Speaker 2: were there, you know, but I was getting married in 250 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 2: the Catholic faith, and you know, that's so much shame 251 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 2: of associated to divorce and everything around it. So I yeah, 252 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,680 Speaker 2: that was that was a big part of that shame 253 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 2: that I was carrying around for such a long time. 254 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can definitely relate. I had a long marriage 255 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 1: and three beautiful children with a man, and then when 256 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 1: we got divorced, I felt so shameful. I felt I 257 00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:00,679 Speaker 1: carried around this shame, which manifested into you know, anger 258 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:05,280 Speaker 1: at myself, anger at other people. It manifested into insecurities, 259 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 1: It manifested in so many unbeneficial characteristics. But I think 260 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 1: that's that's at the root of so much of our unrest. 261 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 262 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 1: Absolutely, Well, she sounds like an angel. 263 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 2: I think she is. 264 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 1: I think she is too. Do you think that your 265 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: addiction affected your career throughout the years. 266 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 2: Absolutely. And I have to remind myself when things are 267 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 2: going well, I only have myself to blame, you know, 268 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 2: And I can point to things that caused my addiction, 269 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 2: which I've been able to do since I've been sober 270 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 2: figured out the whys. But I still take responsibility for 271 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 2: being that individual that wasn't showing up when I needed 272 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 2: to really show up. You know, these opportunities came up 273 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 2: and I didn't. You know, So you can't say, like, 274 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 2: I mean I didn't win the audition or something like that, 275 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 2: like I wasn't present fully in my my genius to 276 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 2: be able to get what I was supposed to get, 277 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 2: you know, what was supposed to come to me. I 278 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 2: wasn't open to being the most authentically true self that 279 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 2: I could be. 280 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 1: Right, it was like covering up your gifts, like the 281 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 1: gifts that you were given of being able to emote 282 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 1: and you know, touch people in the way that you 283 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: have to be able to do as an actor. 284 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wasn't connected to the source. 285 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, and do you think I'm sorry, I'm getting real personal. 286 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: Do you think your addiction played a role or a 287 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: part in your relationships not working? 288 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 2: Yeah? I think the shame had a bigger part of it. 289 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 2: But the addictions, yeah, they're prevalent. They were prevalent. I 290 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 2: was using in both relationships prior to previous relationships. They 291 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 2: had a big part of it. 292 00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. There are so many people out there that you 293 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: know are struggling or know someone that they love who 294 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: is struggling with addiction. I'm wondering, as a person who 295 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: has been through it on the level that you have 296 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: and changed your life in such a significant way, what 297 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: would you say to a person who's struggling right now, 298 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 1: like one of our listeners, even just one person who's 299 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 1: listening like what would you want them to hear? 300 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 2: So I didn't think I had a problem drinking, right, 301 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 2: I thought I could stop drinking, Like I could stop 302 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 2: for months, wasn't a big deal. What was going on 303 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 2: was I would start to drink, not like a crazy 304 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,560 Speaker 2: person where I wake up every morning with a flask 305 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 2: in my hand. What it was, it was numbing myself 306 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 2: every time that I started getting closer to these whys. 307 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 2: Why it wasn't my most authentic self, like the best 308 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 2: version of me. And I was okay not being that 309 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 2: version that you know, I was okay not being okay. 310 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 2: So it really wasn't about the alcohol. But when I 311 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 2: was able to get past it and give it time, 312 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 2: I was able to understand why I was doing that. 313 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 2: I was able to change to be more of who 314 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 2: I really am. 315 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 1: The person you want to be. 316 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, that I always wanted to be and always known 317 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 2: that I was. And I identify my whys and when 318 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 2: when we when I work with anyone in the program, 319 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,920 Speaker 2: I always want to get to these whys because unconsciously, 320 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 2: these things are coming back up and taking us off 321 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 2: of our path. You know, it's the alcohol is is 322 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,639 Speaker 2: like the cover up to us not being able to 323 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 2: really look at ourselves and loving that part of ourselves 324 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 2: that's shame h And that's you know, every tough guy 325 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 2: out there is like, you know, oh, problem drinking. It's 326 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 2: not really about the alcohol. If you're if you're continually 327 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:54,399 Speaker 2: ruining your. 328 00:17:54,320 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 1: Life, you need to there's a why why? Yeah, And 329 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 1: it's not just alcohol, it's drugs, it's sex, like whatever 330 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: your addiction, food, whatever you default to to make yourself 331 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 1: feel better or to hide that shame, or to mask 332 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: what's really going on so that you don't have to 333 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: be in it, because that's so uncomfortable to really look 334 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,440 Speaker 1: inside and ask yourself why. I think that's super powerful. 335 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: You have kids. I have kids. You have young kids. 336 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: That's got to keep you very active. Yeah, are a 337 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: ten and four? I think is what you said. 338 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I get a ten year old boy and a 339 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 2: four year old little girl. 340 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can tell you love being a dad. 341 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 2: I'm very grateful to be a father. 342 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: It just puts everything in perspective. It does, it is 343 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:04,160 Speaker 1: the why, like it becomes your why. Yeah. 344 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 2: I'm so grateful that I'm present with my children and 345 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 2: all that work that I did and get rid of 346 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,480 Speaker 2: all that chaos and all that poison I was putting 347 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 2: in my body so that I could be present with 348 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 2: my children. And I'm grateful to still be alive. If 349 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 2: I want to continue down the path, I wouldn't be 350 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 2: able to be here with them. 351 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day. That's what 352 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: it always comes back to is gratitude. Yeah, that acknowledging 353 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,640 Speaker 1: the things in your life that you are so grateful for. 354 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 1: It just opens you up to a whole new world 355 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:42,919 Speaker 1: of your experience here. Oh my gosh, I love it 356 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 1: that you got to be a dad. That's really great. 357 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 1: I get this question all the time. Would you let 358 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:55,520 Speaker 1: your kids become actors or be in our industry if. 359 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 2: They wanted to, well they really wanted to learn the 360 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 2: craw aft, if they wanted to be artists m hmm yeah, 361 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 2: and if they were willing to also learn the business 362 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:16,360 Speaker 2: our business. I would really encourage both of those mm hmm. 363 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 2: You know this quick world that we live in social 364 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 2: media and that's a different form of fame or you know, 365 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 2: like we didn't we were actors. You know, we were 366 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 2: striving to like tell the truth, you know, in our work, 367 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 2: and that that I would encourage and I you know, 368 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 2: I don't know if the business is safer than when 369 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 2: we first started. 370 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: But I like to hope, So I like to hope. 371 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:48,680 Speaker 2: So yeah, I think. I like to think that I 372 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 2: I made it better than what I found it, So 373 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 2: I would, I would encourage them. It's a great life, 374 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 2: the start of living. So you're a great example. Look 375 00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,119 Speaker 2: at you, how you live your life. It's awesome. You 376 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,680 Speaker 2: just NonStop. You just a fighter, man. I love it. 377 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 2: You know, actor is an act that they just learn 378 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 2: how to fight for themselves, some of them, not all 379 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:10,120 Speaker 2: of them. 380 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that moment when you're on camera and you're 381 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,359 Speaker 1: in a scene and you're in that character shoes and 382 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:23,439 Speaker 1: that connection with your co star. That's the moment that 383 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 1: keeps me coming back. 384 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 2: I know, you got to come out and do Blue 385 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 2: Ridge with me. 386 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 1: It sounds like a dream. Shoot. 387 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 2: It's so much fun. We have a blast. 388 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,120 Speaker 1: I bet you do. Yeah, I want to skip ahead 389 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:37,640 Speaker 1: to that, but I'm going to come back to something else. 390 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: I want to skip ahead to Blue Ridge for a second, 391 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: because this is a role that you've played before in 392 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: a movie, and you're now doing a series based on 393 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: the movie. You're playing the same character. What is it 394 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 1: about that character? What's the character's name, Sheriff Justin, Justin 395 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: Justin Wise, that's a good character name. What is it 396 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 1: about him that made you want want to come back? 397 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,879 Speaker 2: Yeah? So I'd never really explored a character like this before. 398 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:10,120 Speaker 2: I've never been a leading man of my own show, right, 399 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,320 Speaker 2: So when they brought it back to me and I 400 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,640 Speaker 2: was like, you know it, it is the first role 401 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 2: that I had ever played where I did not walk 402 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 2: away every day feeling a sense of shame. 403 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 1: It was the first what do you mean shame? 404 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:33,120 Speaker 2: So I always from my previous experience in the film industry, 405 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 2: I had a great deal of shame associated to performance, 406 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,600 Speaker 2: and I had done a lot of work on that. 407 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,120 Speaker 2: I did a lot of brain spotting, like it did 408 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 2: a lot of therapy, did a lot of work on 409 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 2: not not carrying that into my life, using my life 410 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 2: for my art, but not like beating myself up afterwards. 411 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 2: I would beat myself to tears. It was ridiculous. I 412 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,400 Speaker 2: thought it was part of the process. 413 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: And just like those thoughts of like I'm not good enough, 414 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: I shouldn't be doing this, it just. 415 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 2: The weight of carrying that forward. It was just like, 416 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 2: you know, I think at one point maybe it was 417 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:12,000 Speaker 2: a survival trait that I had gotten where I was 418 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,400 Speaker 2: trying to always make sure the next time I got 419 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 2: out there, I performed really well. But I realized I 420 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 2: didn't need to be that way anymore, and I left. 421 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 2: I left Hollywood and literally moved to Nashville, and it 422 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,440 Speaker 2: was the first role that came to me, and I 423 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 2: performed it and I had a great experience. I was 424 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:33,600 Speaker 2: very connected to the crew, my cast, and the experience 425 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 2: and the character of Justin Wise, he's his old school. 426 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,639 Speaker 2: It's very much like my father, like I've become my 427 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 2: father where I was born in the city police officer. 428 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 2: Justin is that character that runs to the problem and 429 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 2: there for others. I embraced it and I loved it. 430 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 2: And when they came back and said they wanted to 431 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 2: make it into a television series, I was first off 432 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 2: was we make sure they wanted me, and they did, 433 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 2: and then just checking checking, just shoot me want me 434 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 2: to come back? And they were like everyone they said 435 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:15,399 Speaker 2: the network and everyone really loved what I did with 436 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,360 Speaker 2: Justin and it was the big success for their network 437 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,400 Speaker 2: and they wanted to continue to make it into a series, 438 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,280 Speaker 2: and so we did six episodes in season one and 439 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:29,960 Speaker 2: they're out right now every Sunday on itsp at nine pm. 440 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 2: And I play the character Justimize that I've played before. 441 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,359 Speaker 2: So yeah, I get to play my dad. 442 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,399 Speaker 1: That's got to be so rewarding, especially now that you 443 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 1: have this core of gratitude, like you appreciate it so 444 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:47,960 Speaker 1: much more now. 445 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:53,919 Speaker 2: I bet, yeah, I do. I appreciate I really appreciate 446 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,280 Speaker 2: it so much. But all the other chaos, all this 447 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 2: stuff I can't control out. I don't bother with it 448 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 2: it anymore. And if it starts to come up with me, 449 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,680 Speaker 2: I just I let it go. Okay with with with 450 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 2: not knowing? Does it make sense? I'm okay with going 451 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 2: into the unknown. 452 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 1: That's true. What do you do to yourself in those 453 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 1: moments when you need to squash those voices that you're 454 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: so familiar with, those negative voices, Well. 455 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,959 Speaker 2: If I can't get rid of them, like through a 456 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:29,920 Speaker 2: workout mm hmm or we're talking to my wife, I'll 457 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 2: call my sponsor m hm and talk talk. Yeah. My 458 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 2: sponsor is great. He's a brain surgeon. Oh nice, I know, 459 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 2: and he just kind of sets things very clear and quick. 460 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 2: And I just realized, like that's where I am. That's 461 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 2: what that's what I've done with my life. I've gotten 462 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,200 Speaker 2: to the place where I can actually reach out and 463 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,639 Speaker 2: not be alone, because that's probably the biggest problem with 464 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 2: most addicts is there they fight these things alone. I 465 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 2: work with a program. You get a bunch of people 466 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,359 Speaker 2: that are similar to you. You know, they may be 467 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,639 Speaker 2: completely different, but they're on the same path as you, 468 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 2: and so you reach out to them and they're there 469 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 2: for you, and they put you right in line, right 470 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 2: back in place where you need to be. And he 471 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,639 Speaker 2: under understands shame so well he can set me. Like 472 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 2: one time I had a I had an audition and 473 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,480 Speaker 2: I had to do it the next day, and I'm dyslexic. 474 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,400 Speaker 2: I cannot, from the life of me, like two things quick. 475 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 2: It's probably been and I've learned that's never gonna happen. 476 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,679 Speaker 2: I'm never going to be good at it. 477 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: And I'm like quick memorizing things. 478 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,440 Speaker 2: That quick thing like if it's tomorrow, you know, two 479 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:43,879 Speaker 2: page monologue, it's it's you know, it's gonna be really hard. 480 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 2: I mean I could get through it. They have to 481 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 2: be willing. And so I had this audition the next 482 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 2: day and I just went absolutely mad. I don't know 483 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 2: what it was, but there was something about this force 484 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,639 Speaker 2: to put having to put me in this audition spot, like, 485 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,679 Speaker 2: you know, without any time, and it felt like the 486 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 2: whole world was against me again and how could they 487 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:08,119 Speaker 2: do this? And who I was just going nuts. 488 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:12,440 Speaker 1: It sounds like you were really regressing into that victim mentality. 489 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, yeah, yeah. And I made a couple of 490 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 2: phone calls and they they just they heard me. They 491 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,679 Speaker 2: said the right things. They you know, one of my 492 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,160 Speaker 2: I haven't more than one sponsor, but my main sponsor 493 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,879 Speaker 2: out here, I called my LA sponsor and he was great. 494 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,600 Speaker 2: He just said, well, that's not fair, you know, like 495 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 2: why do they have to do that. They can give 496 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 2: you more time. Just him saying that made me feel 497 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 2: better enough to actually do the performance. And I did 498 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,800 Speaker 2: great job the next day, so I didn't carry any 499 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,920 Speaker 2: of that shame into that after I was saved by 500 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 2: my fellows. As they say that. 501 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,400 Speaker 1: It was, Yeah, it was fighting to get in there, 502 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 1: though I was really trying to mess you up and 503 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:56,399 Speaker 1: derail you. 504 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:56,880 Speaker 2: Exactly. 505 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 1: That's so good when you have that personspective of the 506 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 1: power of being able to talk back to those negative 507 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,840 Speaker 1: voices when you develop that power and that ability and 508 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,720 Speaker 1: just able to acknowledge those are just thoughts that aren't 509 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,120 Speaker 1: helpful to me anymore. 510 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish I would have done that earlier. Right 511 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,240 Speaker 2: now and then with our children, I want to be 512 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 2: able to be that boys. You realize it's so hard 513 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:26,439 Speaker 2: to get them to hear that at these young ages, 514 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,200 Speaker 2: and you know, they got to have their own experience 515 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 2: to get there. 516 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,400 Speaker 1: I know, but they are at such a great advantage 517 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,200 Speaker 1: to have your wisdom that you've gained, because some people 518 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 1: go through life and they don't ever get to the 519 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,720 Speaker 1: point where you are and your kids are. So I 520 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,400 Speaker 1: think this all the time too, like there are light 521 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: years ahead of what I was able to do at 522 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: that age, just because they have the support system and 523 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 1: they have me wanting to share my knowledge and my 524 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: experiences and my wisdoms with them. Whether they listen or not, 525 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 1: whether I have to say it four hundred times or not, 526 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 1: that's a different story. But yeah, they have to go 527 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 1: and live their life. But I think that that the 528 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 1: cornerstone of that support of a very present parent is 529 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,720 Speaker 1: they're just they're so much better off than we were. 530 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, there's a The word in therapy is 531 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 2: generational trauma. Might continue that the generational stuff that I 532 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 2: was put that was placed upon me. I stopped that, 533 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,200 Speaker 2: and maybe I'm giving him new trauma. I don't know. 534 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 1: Probably, Oh my god, it'll end up there'll be in 535 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 1: therapy talking about us any minute as mine. Speaking of therapy, 536 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:46,080 Speaker 1: what you you mentioned that you did EMDR and brain spotting. 537 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 1: I know what EMDR is, and I think it's such 538 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: a valuable modality of that kind of therapy, really effective. 539 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 1: If you guys don't know what EMDR is, definitely looking up. 540 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 1: But you also said something about brain spotting and I'm 541 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,000 Speaker 1: not familiar with that. Can you you tell us what 542 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:01,400 Speaker 1: that is? 543 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 2: You know, it's very similar like they they follow you 544 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,920 Speaker 2: fall like a stick and there's a guided meditation basically 545 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 2: to bring you back to a certain point in your 546 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 2: life that you need to address. And for me, I 547 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,240 Speaker 2: don't know if you listeners can handle this or not, 548 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 2: but I was actually molested when I was twenty two 549 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 2: years old on a screen test in Rome by director 550 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 2: Franco Zefarelli. It just just screwed me up, like for 551 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 2: a long time. So I was able to address it 552 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 2: and the one way I was able to get to 553 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:40,280 Speaker 2: that experience and stand up to it again was brain spotting. 554 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,880 Speaker 2: So I had an incredible therapist that like guided me 555 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,840 Speaker 2: to the point of when you know I was violated 556 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 2: and why I froze, and why I didn't stop him 557 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 2: right like, I didn't. 558 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: Kill him in that moment. 559 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 2: In that moment, And that's that's what I did with 560 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,320 Speaker 2: brain spodies. So we found that where that was in 561 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 2: my body and my soul basically, but really probably in 562 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 2: my spotting. It in my brain, so the right brain 563 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 2: and the left side it was. I can't remember exactly 564 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,600 Speaker 2: what that was, but that's what brain spotting is. So 565 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,400 Speaker 2: I was able to get to that place and heal 566 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,600 Speaker 2: that part of me and talk about it. 567 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 1: Really, Oh my god, that work is not easy. So 568 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 1: I really applaud you for seeking the help to go there. 569 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,280 Speaker 1: You know, that's that's it's not an easy decision. It's 570 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,120 Speaker 1: not an easy choice to make. It sucks, it's hard, 571 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,720 Speaker 1: it feels awful to go so deep into those traumas 572 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: that have truly affected our whole lives. 573 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've spoke out about it, and I'm I'm a 574 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 2: survivor and I speak out openly about it. So it's 575 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,320 Speaker 2: not like everyone needs to like, oh my god, poor Jonathan. 576 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 2: I've worked really hard and I share that because I 577 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 2: know there's probably one individual who's struggling with that and 578 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 2: being male, being in a very masculine role on a 579 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 2: television shore series where you don't want to mess with 580 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 2: my character. You still don't want to mess with my character. 581 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 2: But you know, being a man in this in that 582 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 2: world is survival world. It's a difficult world, but you 583 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 2: know you're stronger when you get to the other side 584 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 2: of it, for sure. 585 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, man, woman, I don't think it matters 586 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,240 Speaker 1: when you've been violated that way. It does really mess 587 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 1: you up. Yeah, it does in so many like layered ways. 588 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 1: I read that article. By the way, when you first 589 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,480 Speaker 1: decided to talk about it, how did you feel after 590 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,560 Speaker 1: you shared that story with the world. 591 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 2: Well, I was frightened. It was really scared. I thought 592 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,280 Speaker 2: I would never work again, work for a long time. 593 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,560 Speaker 2: That's why I started making some phone calls to people 594 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 2: and telling him like, you know, I think I just 595 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,240 Speaker 2: I don't think like everyone was like, oh god, you 596 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,400 Speaker 2: know what the age just share. I think it was 597 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:04,240 Speaker 2: more like it's just a competitive business, and everyone else 598 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 2: was able to move their their bodies in front of it, 599 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 2: like you're competing non stop. So I just wasn't getting 600 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 2: the same opportunity as I was before, and I was 601 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,960 Speaker 2: frightened that no one was able to see me anymore. 602 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 2: And I knew what I needed to do is to 603 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 2: work harder on myself so that I could get more 604 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,200 Speaker 2: in the light, that I could be more open to 605 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 2: what what I shared. And I did. I worked really 606 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:36,560 Speaker 2: hard on myself, stayed sober and worked really hard and 607 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,680 Speaker 2: got more and more in the light so that I 608 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,240 Speaker 2: could be seen. And that's how my show came about. 609 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 2: You know, it was my parents was exactly what I did. 610 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 2: He embraced it. He was like, this is my hero, 611 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 2: this is this is what I want from my character 612 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,200 Speaker 2: and my show's hero, someone who's that strong, and I 613 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,280 Speaker 2: the same thing with the net work. They really supported 614 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:05,160 Speaker 2: me and brought me on bropping back for the series. 615 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 2: You know exactly what I had shared, So it was empowering. 616 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's got to feel so good. I mean, 617 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,799 Speaker 1: not only did you speak openly about it in order 618 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,920 Speaker 1: to help other people who it's maybe happened to to 619 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: sort of connect and share and take the shame element 620 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 1: out of it, but then to have your personal life 621 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:37,439 Speaker 1: and your work life flourish after you did that work. Yeah, yep, 622 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,399 Speaker 1: that is so inspirational. 623 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I did the work. 624 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:44,840 Speaker 1: So the work. 625 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,240 Speaker 2: I did the work and got through the dark, through 626 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 2: the its a bit abyss, and I got out to 627 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:57,239 Speaker 2: the light, made that journey and carried the torch. Now 628 00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,680 Speaker 2: I'm holding it strong for everyone else to see. 629 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 1: And it's so nice to hear that your employers, if 630 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:07,240 Speaker 1: you will, like your producer, your boss, is your network 631 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 1: that everybody has embraced it and they've expressed how proud 632 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:13,799 Speaker 1: of you they are and how much they support you. 633 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:14,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. 634 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 1: That kind of talking about stuff that we don't want 635 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:22,320 Speaker 1: to talk about or you know, I know what happened, 636 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,360 Speaker 1: but let's not discuss it. Like the act of actually 637 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,919 Speaker 1: just talking about that with people that you work with 638 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,040 Speaker 1: or that you care about or that you depend on, 639 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:36,960 Speaker 1: Like that's such a freeing feeling. And you're so lucky 640 00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:40,839 Speaker 1: to have found those people to support you. 641 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 2: I know it was. It was amazing. Like you ever 642 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 2: study you ever read Brene Brown? Oh? Yeah, so she 643 00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 2: talks about going in the wilderness and I felt like 644 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,400 Speaker 2: I went into the wilderness and how it's in the 645 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,400 Speaker 2: you know, the thick of the trees and like the 646 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:02,279 Speaker 2: darkest places. After I shared my story and then I 647 00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:05,359 Speaker 2: was able to find the path and get out. And 648 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 2: I didn't do it alone. People helped me. 649 00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:13,279 Speaker 1: It's so true. It's that connective tissue right that everybody's 650 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,839 Speaker 1: having the same human experience. We try to think where 651 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,920 Speaker 1: we tend to think that it's just me, I'm the 652 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,360 Speaker 1: only one that's going through this. Nobody has any understanding 653 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,280 Speaker 1: of what I'm going through dealing with, but in reality, 654 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,440 Speaker 1: we're all dealing with the same things, just in a 655 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:31,280 Speaker 1: different situation circumstances. 656 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,960 Speaker 2: I've shared human experience and the amount of people that 657 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:40,400 Speaker 2: reached out to me since then, it's been amazing. I've 658 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,680 Speaker 2: helped people like I could literally say that I helped 659 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 2: people find the life. 660 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:56,400 Speaker 1: Yes, that's the best feeling. We were talking about like 661 00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,080 Speaker 1: talking about stuff and being open and sharing like our 662 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:04,840 Speaker 1: darkest moments or our biggest challenges with people. I recently 663 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:10,239 Speaker 1: had my ex husband Peter on this podcast, and I 664 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:13,160 Speaker 1: went into it not knowing what was going to come 665 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 1: out of it, and it was actually through us sitting 666 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,960 Speaker 1: down and talking with one another about the meat of 667 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,719 Speaker 1: it that it brought. It brought us so much closer. 668 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,840 Speaker 1: And then when our listeners and people in the world 669 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:34,040 Speaker 1: heard that story, I feel like, you know, because we 670 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,360 Speaker 1: really struggled as co parents all these years, and we 671 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,720 Speaker 1: really covered all of that up in the public's eye. 672 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 1: But once we talked about it, and once we shared 673 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,560 Speaker 1: it with the community of listeners that we have here, 674 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: it was it lifted something off of me, like that 675 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,680 Speaker 1: burden off my shoulders or that whatever I was carrying 676 00:37:55,719 --> 00:38:00,560 Speaker 1: around that was making us be have that tension with 677 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:01,080 Speaker 1: one another. 678 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:02,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. 679 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, So you're leading by example also by just talking 680 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,319 Speaker 1: about things like this openly and if yeah, if you 681 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,880 Speaker 1: reach one person by sharing your story or your stories, 682 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 1: that's the best feeling. Yeah, relationships are tricky. You've been 683 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 1: married a few times. I've been married a few times. 684 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:24,239 Speaker 1: They're not easy. They're not easy. In the industry that 685 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 1: we work in, there's so much time away from one another, 686 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,920 Speaker 1: and there's a lot of different things that you have 687 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 1: to add in there. But I did hear that you. 688 00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,759 Speaker 1: I know that you are remarried now to Julie, but 689 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:43,680 Speaker 1: Julie is best friends with your ex wife Jana also 690 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,360 Speaker 1: very confusing with the two j's. I gotta say, Janna, 691 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,080 Speaker 1: you could have picked a different letter. But okay, but 692 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,960 Speaker 1: they're best friends, Like, how does that? How did that 693 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,520 Speaker 1: happen for you? And how did that feel? 694 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,360 Speaker 2: You know? They met at the Maker with Charity Foundation, 695 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,720 Speaker 2: the same place Julie, So the two of them met. 696 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:07,920 Speaker 2: And my wife is just very open and loving and she, 697 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 2: you know, she became friends with Jenna for a long 698 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,759 Speaker 2: period of time. We kinda moved out to Nashville, Tennessee. 699 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:18,040 Speaker 2: I think she remarried recently. But so we've lived these 700 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,680 Speaker 2: you know, lives, and it's all good. 701 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,120 Speaker 1: It does not feel good, Yeah. 702 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,160 Speaker 2: It's all good. I love it. 703 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,279 Speaker 1: It's all good. It's so much better than this is 704 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:35,360 Speaker 1: so hard, you know, Yeah, just the mindset change alone 705 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: can change everything. 706 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:40,640 Speaker 2: My wife is just very open and loving, and you know, 707 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:44,799 Speaker 2: she's tough too. She's not a pushover. So she she 708 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 2: sees the best in people and she's great at it. 709 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:50,640 Speaker 2: She brings the best out of people too. 710 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,359 Speaker 1: I love that. One of the things my husband told 711 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,080 Speaker 1: me once was that I make him want to be 712 00:39:56,120 --> 00:40:02,000 Speaker 1: a better man. Yeah, and that as a wife and 713 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,560 Speaker 1: just as a friend, it made me feel so valuable 714 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 1: to him that that carries me through and keeps me 715 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,799 Speaker 1: wanting to him to feel that way. You know. 716 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, my wife makes me want to be a better 717 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:17,200 Speaker 2: man as well. 718 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,759 Speaker 1: Hm, that's really good. 719 00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:22,000 Speaker 2: And she she's the first person to say, like, you know, 720 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,479 Speaker 2: all this working down yourself is the most attractive thing 721 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:25,040 Speaker 2: about you. 722 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:30,279 Speaker 1: Right, yeah, it really is. As you get older, that 723 00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:38,480 Speaker 1: whole like moody, mysterious, dangerous, you know, problematic guy is 724 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:43,200 Speaker 1: less and less appealing. So now you're just like to her, 725 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,239 Speaker 1: I'm sure that is so admirable. I mean to me, 726 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,560 Speaker 1: it's so admirable to everyone that's heard your story is 727 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,560 Speaker 1: what you've done, the way you've turned your life around, 728 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:58,239 Speaker 1: is truly admirable and inspiring. And I know that our 729 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:02,680 Speaker 1: listeners are going to well really hear that. And just 730 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,400 Speaker 1: the genuineness that you speak about it with. You're not 731 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,400 Speaker 1: talking about this so that you can be more famous 732 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,920 Speaker 1: or get more likes or whatever people talk about things for. 733 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,520 Speaker 1: You're talking about this because you have to talk about it, 734 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 1: because it's who you are. 735 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:20,360 Speaker 2: That's what I told my, That's what I told Amy My. 736 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,560 Speaker 2: I hired a pblicist for Blue Ridge, and I was 737 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:27,480 Speaker 2: just like, I have to. Look, I want to help 738 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,759 Speaker 2: promote the show whatever I can, but I really need 739 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 2: to tell my story. I have to. It's part of 740 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,759 Speaker 2: my DNA right now, like it's part of me. I 741 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:39,360 Speaker 2: have to share this because I know that it will 742 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 2: open people up. 743 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's what we want to do. We want 744 00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:48,640 Speaker 1: to connect. And when when your fans or your viewers 745 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:50,799 Speaker 1: feel like they can connect to you and relate to 746 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 1: you on that deeper level, it's so much more valuable. 747 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,680 Speaker 1: I know the relationship that I have with a lot 748 00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:01,760 Speaker 1: of my long term fans and supporters like they feel 749 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:05,960 Speaker 1: like my family. And as much as I share what 750 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:11,719 Speaker 1: I do in hopes to inspire them, them acknowledging it 751 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,319 Speaker 1: and giving me their stories sharing their stories with me, 752 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,640 Speaker 1: it inspires me. So it's this beautiful, like cyclical exchange 753 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,200 Speaker 1: of just like good energy. 754 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:28,319 Speaker 2: Wow, that's beautiful. So you've you've had a relationship with 755 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,960 Speaker 2: fans for such a long time. Yeah, did a lot 756 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,680 Speaker 2: of people stick around all these years? 757 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:39,440 Speaker 1: I mean it's bananas. The super fans of the OG 758 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,439 Speaker 1: nine on two to zero from the nineties, I see 759 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,359 Speaker 1: them at all the time, and I correspond with them 760 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,719 Speaker 1: and I love connecting with them, like they feel like 761 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:53,799 Speaker 1: a part of me, and I'm so grateful to them. 762 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,239 Speaker 1: And like, I know, I would not have had the 763 00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:00,160 Speaker 1: career that I've had. I wouldn't have this outlook that 764 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,560 Speaker 1: I have at this point in my life without that 765 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:06,840 Speaker 1: kind of love and support. So tap into that. You 766 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:10,640 Speaker 1: know you are doing You're you're doing great, and yeah, 767 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,320 Speaker 1: you have to promote your show because you want people 768 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,200 Speaker 1: to see it and enjoy it. You work really hard 769 00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,480 Speaker 1: on it, but at the same time, that's not your 770 00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:21,320 Speaker 1: only motive and that comes through, right, So you're doing great. 771 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,880 Speaker 2: The fan things so neat. I never really had that 772 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:28,040 Speaker 2: people like my movie, I've been in that thing you 773 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,480 Speaker 2: do fans, but we don't have like I think I 774 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,160 Speaker 2: wasn't on television for a period of time. Like I 775 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,239 Speaker 2: think people will find justin why is my character and 776 00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:40,799 Speaker 2: really start to find him and me and see the 777 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,399 Speaker 2: connection and be able to share with me. I would 778 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,360 Speaker 2: love that that happened with my fans. I'll put that 779 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,239 Speaker 2: out there. I would love to do it that. 780 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,480 Speaker 1: Just keep connecting with them because they want to connect 781 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:51,759 Speaker 1: with you. 782 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,440 Speaker 2: I'm so used to I was. I've always been so 783 00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:59,600 Speaker 2: scared of fans. I think why, you know, I had 784 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:05,080 Speaker 2: a stalker, so there was always about the looking at 785 00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,640 Speaker 2: the mail and there were always horrible things that the 786 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:12,200 Speaker 2: stalker was doing. So yeah, I think I just always 787 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,239 Speaker 2: like didn't want to connect with these people because they 788 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,200 Speaker 2: was afraid that there was danger there. 789 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:22,880 Speaker 1: Well, you know, there are scary people out there, that 790 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:23,440 Speaker 1: is true. 791 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,839 Speaker 2: There's a loving people too, and I did. We don't 792 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:30,080 Speaker 2: have social back then. You know, socials are I do 793 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:33,080 Speaker 2: connect with people now. I do love the people that 794 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,560 Speaker 2: connect with me. And They've been there since socials at 795 00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,919 Speaker 2: least when I started doing socials and I could see 796 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,239 Speaker 2: them and I'm like, hey, I got a series I'm doing. Now, 797 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:41,360 Speaker 2: Oh what's the series? 798 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:44,520 Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, it's the best. It's like your support 799 00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,720 Speaker 1: group and you inspire them, and then by them loving 800 00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,000 Speaker 1: you and sharing with you, they inspire you. It's the best. 801 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,240 Speaker 1: Just you're so on the right path. I'm so excited 802 00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:56,160 Speaker 1: for you in your life. And you know, once again, 803 00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:59,880 Speaker 1: it really really inspired by your story and your bravery 804 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:06,120 Speaker 1: to not only share those dark places, but to do 805 00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,440 Speaker 1: the work that it takes to get out of them, 806 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:13,439 Speaker 1: because nothing changes if nothing changes. So kudos to you, 807 00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:17,799 Speaker 1: my friend, I'm curious what this is a question I 808 00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,279 Speaker 1: like to answer myself. But what is it when you 809 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,200 Speaker 1: lay your head down on the pillow at the end 810 00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:26,480 Speaker 1: of your day. What is it that goes through your 811 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,120 Speaker 1: mind before you fall asleep. 812 00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:32,000 Speaker 2: Well, if I start thinking about any of the things, 813 00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,960 Speaker 2: I usually go through the Baltimore Orioles lineup. 814 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:38,919 Speaker 1: So that's your guy. 815 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,359 Speaker 2: I've just tried to do things that I have no 816 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:48,480 Speaker 2: control over and don't really matter. I will rest because 817 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:52,040 Speaker 2: if I think about sometimes, I'll go over the lines 818 00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,799 Speaker 2: for the next day. Have you done that. 819 00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,279 Speaker 1: I've slept with my my sides under my pillow every 820 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:02,360 Speaker 1: so many times. But it's like it's gonna it's gonna 821 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,759 Speaker 1: come magically into my brain if I just sleep on it. 822 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:09,279 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I've done that so many times. And I 823 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,239 Speaker 2: do that a lot more sane than I used to 824 00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,480 Speaker 2: do trying to memorize lines. I could, you know. I 825 00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:15,560 Speaker 2: used to think that I couldn't memorize them. When I 826 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,839 Speaker 2: realize it was not. I'm not that being anymore. I 827 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,759 Speaker 2: have to let them in me. Yeah. So yeah, I 828 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,319 Speaker 2: do definitely run my lines over in my head. And 829 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,279 Speaker 2: if I can't remember them, oh, sometimes I might get 830 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,319 Speaker 2: wake up and go, you know, look at them, turn 831 00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:32,080 Speaker 2: the light on, try to see in the middle of 832 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:35,040 Speaker 2: the night, what was that line I was trying to memorize. 833 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:37,400 Speaker 1: Oh, the life of an actor. 834 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:39,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the one thing people always like that. One 835 00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:41,680 Speaker 2: of the first things they always ask me is do 836 00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:42,840 Speaker 2: you memorize your lines? 837 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:43,640 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. 838 00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:48,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, well, that's a good question. It just becomes 839 00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:49,920 Speaker 2: part of like just you have to do it, so 840 00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,359 Speaker 2: you just start really start to get into that dialogue. 841 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's with like with most things, the 842 00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,200 Speaker 1: more you use it, the better it gets that muscle 843 00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,520 Speaker 1: whatever it is inside our brains for the memory of 844 00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:05,719 Speaker 1: our lines. Like if you keep using it, it just 845 00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,160 Speaker 1: it's like more automatic somehow. 846 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're good at it, aren't you. I am a 847 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:14,239 Speaker 2: quick You have a lot of You've always had a 848 00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:14,960 Speaker 2: lot of lines. 849 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:20,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. But every time i'm it's like showtime, whatever it is, 850 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:24,160 Speaker 1: an interview, an appearance, a scene, whatever it is. I 851 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,640 Speaker 1: always panic inside and think, oh my god, I don't know, 852 00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:31,480 Speaker 1: I can't do this, and just like you, I have 853 00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,880 Speaker 1: to say, hey, shut it not helpful. 854 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:38,440 Speaker 2: And when your co star says their line, you know 855 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,239 Speaker 2: your line, it. 856 00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,480 Speaker 1: Just comes if you're in the moment, if it's yeah. 857 00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:47,960 Speaker 1: So I love that part. Okay. I always ask everybody 858 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,920 Speaker 1: this that comes on our podcast, Jonathan, what was your 859 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:53,640 Speaker 1: last I Choose Me moment? 860 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,560 Speaker 2: You know, I chose me when I hired my publicist. 861 00:47:58,239 --> 00:47:58,800 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. 862 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:04,960 Speaker 2: I know that it would be tough to get press 863 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:08,719 Speaker 2: during the summer and they were putting a show out 864 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:13,759 Speaker 2: and I really wanted people beyond just lurage to hear 865 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:18,200 Speaker 2: my story, and I choose I choose me moment was 866 00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,759 Speaker 2: when I hired a publicist. 867 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:26,120 Speaker 1: That's a good one because at first it doesn't sound 868 00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:32,640 Speaker 1: like that, like I choose me, but it's a big expense. Yeah, 869 00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:37,200 Speaker 1: and you do have to be willing to put yourself 870 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,120 Speaker 1: out there like never before. 871 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:43,279 Speaker 2: And she's she's always been very special to me. She 872 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,480 Speaker 2: worked with my with Christina in the beginning of her career, 873 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,080 Speaker 2: and I would hear how she strategically would plan these 874 00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:54,279 Speaker 2: things out and I never had anyone like do that 875 00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,319 Speaker 2: with me. And I was like, well, I never had 876 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,880 Speaker 2: my own show like this. It was always short. It 877 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:03,319 Speaker 2: was always a movie, never like a long lead. Well, 878 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 2: you know, you have to do it for the next season. 879 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,640 Speaker 2: All that stuff. So she and she moved out here 880 00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:12,480 Speaker 2: in Nashville, Tennessee, and I thought, we are so in line. 881 00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:15,400 Speaker 2: This is the right thing to do. And when it 882 00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,360 Speaker 2: came down to doing it, I had to really choose 883 00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:21,799 Speaker 2: me over everything else. So that's and also I get 884 00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,080 Speaker 2: up every morning, go work out. That's to choose me 885 00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:25,000 Speaker 2: moment as well. 886 00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:25,880 Speaker 1: Every morning. 887 00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:30,160 Speaker 2: What time, well I dumped my son off at school usually, 888 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:31,880 Speaker 2: and then I go train. 889 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:36,799 Speaker 1: Both very very admirable. I choose me moments. Thank you 890 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:40,320 Speaker 1: so much for taking the time to talk today to us, 891 00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,840 Speaker 1: and wow, I really look forward to watching Blue Ridge. 892 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,880 Speaker 1: I had never heard about it until I started researching 893 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,200 Speaker 1: you and the clips that I've seen on your social 894 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:52,400 Speaker 1: It looks like my kind of show, and it looks good, 895 00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,040 Speaker 1: you know, like it's good stuff. 896 00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,480 Speaker 2: It is. It's you know. I can watch it with 897 00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,640 Speaker 2: my ten year old and my eighty five year old 898 00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,719 Speaker 2: father and everyone gets the hea a little bit of 899 00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,560 Speaker 2: something in it. It's got romance, action, It's a good show. 900 00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,000 Speaker 2: People really like it. 901 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,359 Speaker 1: It's God well, I like you. 902 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:09,400 Speaker 2: Thank you. 903 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,280 Speaker 1: You have a lot of heart too. I can tell 904 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,720 Speaker 1: all my best to you and your beautiful family. 905 00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,279 Speaker 2: Say to you, thanks for having me. 906 00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:24,480 Speaker 1: You're welcome. That conversation with Jonathan was very inspiring and interesting. 907 00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:29,600 Speaker 1: It was really incredible to hear about his journey to sobriety. 908 00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:33,440 Speaker 1: And I hope that anyone listening who might be struggling 909 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:38,400 Speaker 1: with that or knows someone who is struggling, takes away 910 00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:42,680 Speaker 1: from this conversation that there is help out there and 911 00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:46,239 Speaker 1: you do not have to do this alone. And the 912 00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:51,680 Speaker 1: releasing of shame. Yeah, that was really key for me. 913 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:56,280 Speaker 1: As we continue to choose ourselves each week, I want 914 00:50:56,320 --> 00:51:00,520 Speaker 1: you to think about gratitude. We talked a lot about 915 00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:04,279 Speaker 1: that today in my conversation with Jonathan, about how important 916 00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:09,160 Speaker 1: it is and how fulfilling life is for him now 917 00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:13,520 Speaker 1: that he has that sense of profound gratitude due to 918 00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:17,719 Speaker 1: him choosing to get sober. So I want to ask you, 919 00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:22,080 Speaker 1: when was the last time you practice gratitude? For me? 920 00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:25,879 Speaker 1: I practice gratitude every single night before I go to bed. 921 00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:29,680 Speaker 1: It's like a ritual. I lay down, I close my eyes, 922 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,399 Speaker 1: and I ask myself, what are three things that you're 923 00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,720 Speaker 1: grateful for? And I either say them in my mind, 924 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,520 Speaker 1: or I write them down, or I say them out 925 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,920 Speaker 1: loud to myself or to someone that I love, and 926 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:46,560 Speaker 1: then I go to sleep, and that sense, that awareness, 927 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:51,799 Speaker 1: that acknowledgment of gratitude really does sort of seep in 928 00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:56,040 Speaker 1: to who you are and how you live your life. 929 00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:57,960 Speaker 1: So I want you to try it. I want you 930 00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,239 Speaker 1: to say it out loud, say it to yourself, say 931 00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:03,879 Speaker 1: it to a friend, tell them how grateful you are 932 00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 1: that they are in your life, and watch how beautifully 933 00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:12,719 Speaker 1: things unfold for you. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me. 934 00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:16,319 Speaker 1: You can check out our social links and make sure 935 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,480 Speaker 1: to follow, rate, and review the podcast, and use the 936 00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,760 Speaker 1: hashtag I Choose Me. I will be right here next week, 937 00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:27,560 Speaker 1: and I hope you will choose to be here too,