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Speaker 1: How does a muscle strengthen because you give it something

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Speaker 1: to push up against? How does your will strengthen because

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Speaker 1: you give it something to push up against? And that's

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Speaker 1: what we are collectively globally involved in right now, we

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Speaker 1: are being pressed up against.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hurdlers, Emily a Body bringing you Episode one hundred

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Speaker 2: and one of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I

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Speaker 2: sit down with inspiring individuals to talk about everything up

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Speaker 2: from their big wins to how they've gotten through some

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Speaker 2: of life's toughest moments. On the show, you can expect vulnerability, motivation,

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Speaker 2: and candid discussions with everyone from top athletes to aspiring

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Speaker 2: entrepreneurs and what it really takes to follow your passions.

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Speaker 2: My mission is simple to inspire you to be your

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Speaker 2: best self, move with intention, and have some fun along

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Speaker 2: the way. Today, I am bringing you a conversation with

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Speaker 2: someone that has been a guiding light for me through

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Speaker 2: this time. Her name is Natalie Kune. She's the vice

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Speaker 2: president of programming at the class, which I would say

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Speaker 2: is a workout that is deeply spiritual. Started here in

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Speaker 2: New York and Tribeca. Now the class is also in

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Speaker 2: Los Angeles and Vancouver, but I personally have been leaning

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Speaker 2: into it from a yoga mat in my kitchen. Because

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Speaker 2: I live in and fourth floor New York City apartment.

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Speaker 2: It's hard to explain exactly what goes on in the class,

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Speaker 2: but what I will tell you is that I have

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Speaker 2: cried more times than I can count, drenched in sweat

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Speaker 2: in this class. It's the way that the instructors have

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Speaker 2: with words. It just stirs up this emotion, this ownership

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Speaker 2: over what is this feeling that it's okay to let

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Speaker 2: go and man, right now, I think we could all

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Speaker 2: use to let go just a little bit. I was

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Speaker 2: taking Natalie's class last week and she said something that

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Speaker 2: really stuck with me, which is why I asked her

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Speaker 2: to share her story and come on the podcast. She

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Speaker 2: said that things can be both. They can be hard

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Speaker 2: and you can do them, and man, everything right now

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Speaker 2: it feels hard, but there is a little bit of

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Speaker 2: comfort knowing that yes, we can get through this, and

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Speaker 2: yes we will. As for Natalie in today's episode, she

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Speaker 2: shares a lot. I found myself nodding my head time

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Speaker 2: and time again, agreeing with her sentiments and also holding

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Speaker 2: my heart as she opened up about some really tough stuff.

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Speaker 2: She talks about what it was like to unexpectedly lose

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Speaker 2: her mother not all that long ago. She talks about

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Speaker 2: getting divorced. She talks about going to therapy and speaking

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Speaker 2: with an intimacy coach. I learn what an intimacy coach is.

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Speaker 2: We talk a lot about how to handle this new

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Speaker 2: and I'll use air quotes here normal how to manage

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Speaker 2: our emotions. The conversation it made me feel super hard

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Speaker 2: and I just I really hope you appreciate it before

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Speaker 2: we get into it, taking just a few minutes to

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Speaker 2: call out my sponsors and then bring you today's episode uninterrupted. Now,

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Speaker 2: I am an active person right now. Movement is my

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Speaker 2: true sanity, and I'm leaning into the class and yoga

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Speaker 2: inside of my apartment and taking to the mostly empty

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Speaker 2: roads alone without a time or distance goal in mind.

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Speaker 2: When it comes to running, I am always looking for

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Speaker 2: to get yours today, No code necessary. Y'all know the

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Speaker 2: drill at Emily a Body at Hurdle podcast. If you

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Speaker 2: have a hurdle moment of your own to share, you

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Speaker 2: just want to say hi, you just need someone to

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Speaker 2: talk to. My email is Emily at Hurdle dot us. Now,

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Speaker 2: more than ever, I can't say this enough. We're all

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Speaker 2: under a lot of stress. We're dealing with a lot

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Speaker 2: of anxiety, and it is so important to talk openly,

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Speaker 2: to share and to understand that even if you are

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Speaker 2: listening to this alone right now, as I'm in my

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Speaker 2: apartment alone. Right now you are not alone, and now

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to bring you my conversation with Natalie.

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Speaker 2: With that, let's get to hurdling. Today, I am sitting

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Speaker 2: down with Natalie Kune. She is the vice president of

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Speaker 2: programming and founding teacher at the class. Hello.

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Speaker 1: Hello, and.

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Speaker 2: How are you feeling today?

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Speaker 1: Nat Oh gosh, I feel well. It's almost like these times,

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Speaker 1: So maybe I could just give a little context. It's

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Speaker 1: March twenty fourth, twenty twenty, which essentially means that we're

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Speaker 1: deep in the time of Corona. And so my answer

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Speaker 1: to that, Emily is that it's more like, how am

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Speaker 1: I feeling this hour? Because that's how frequently it changes.

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Speaker 2: You know for sure, I really do. I want to

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Speaker 2: kick off this recording by sharing something you wrote on

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Speaker 2: your Instagram that really impacted me. Yesterday you wrote, dear Hope,

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Speaker 2: we don't know each other yet, but if one more

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Speaker 2: person tells me that we'll get along, great, I'm just

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Speaker 2: going to scream. I know you've got a lot of

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Speaker 2: friends you, faith and Grace are quite the posse. But

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Speaker 2: maybe if I were room at the lunch table, could

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Speaker 2: I sit with you one day? I know you're nice

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Speaker 2: to everyone. I don't want to see if you're just

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Speaker 2: being nice. I actually want to talk to you about something.

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Speaker 2: I just love what you're all about. I love your mission.

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Speaker 2: So what I'm trying to say is if I can

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Speaker 2: be of service to you, hope, I'd love to join

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Speaker 2: your team. And don't say anything, but I just can't

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Speaker 2: sit next to despair anymore. Fingers crossed, Natalie.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much for reading that.

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Speaker 2: Of course, talk to me about that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. On Saturday Saturday night, Kevin Courtney, who's my boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: He and I were we were supposed to have been

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Speaker 1: wrapping up an event in London with Taren, and of course,

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Speaker 1: in the time of COVID we were obviously that whole

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Speaker 1: thing got canceled. So we were in our apartment and

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Speaker 1: we were both in a creative space and I got

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Speaker 1: into this flow of writing letters to all that is.

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Speaker 1: And I'd had this idea for quite some time. I

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Speaker 1: wrote a series of thank you letters to things that

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Speaker 1: you would never consider gratitude for, things like death and

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Speaker 1: earth and disappointment. And Saturday night, this space inside my

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Speaker 1: own heart, I guess, kind of opened and I started

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Speaker 1: writing letters as if each emotion were personified. So the

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Speaker 1: first one that came out of myself was certainty and

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Speaker 1: I haven't shared that one yet, and its sister was uncertainty,

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Speaker 1: and then right after that was hope. I think we're

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Speaker 1: in this moment where hope feels far off in the distance.

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Speaker 1: We used to know it. We're trying to come to

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Speaker 1: know it again. But it's almost like we need Hope

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Speaker 1: to invite us in right now, you know, because it's

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Speaker 1: like the cool girl who you just you're not quite

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Speaker 1: sure if you belong with. And I think that's a

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Speaker 1: you know, that's like a it's the effects of the

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Speaker 1: news changing every day, and it's the effects of you know,

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Speaker 1: refreshing the New York Times every day. And so my

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Speaker 1: creative outlet is to create this series that's called an

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Speaker 1: Open Letter too, And I'm hoping that one day it

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Speaker 1: can become a book and a gallery space and an

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Speaker 1: interactive place where people can write their own letters. But

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Speaker 1: for now it's my outlet. I think we all have

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Speaker 1: a very complicated relationship to Hope right now.

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Speaker 2: I dig it and I totally feel the same way.

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Speaker 2: I think it would be important just for us to

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Speaker 2: get on the same page if you could explain to

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Speaker 2: the listener what is the class.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the class in its pitheous sense is spiritual fitness.

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Speaker 1: So athletically it looks like jumping jacks and a couple

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Speaker 1: of burpees and some strength training basically calisthenics and plyometrics.

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Speaker 1: But the purpose is not for shedding calories and getting ripped.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of a byproduct that that happens. The primary

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Speaker 1: reason is that we're using the body as the container

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Speaker 1: to understand our relationship, to challenge and move the energy

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Speaker 1: that creates thought that then birds feeling and when we're grappling.

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Speaker 1: You know, prior to COVID, we were grappling with our

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Speaker 1: relationship to career and relationship to self, and relationship to

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Speaker 1: partnership or family or kids right family, And now we're

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Speaker 1: in this collective global relationship to this virus. So the classes,

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Speaker 1: it's become a very beautiful tool through our live streaming.

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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful we started that up in January where

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Speaker 1: we can all come together from all parts of the

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Speaker 1: world and practice our own relationship to adversity. And it's

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Speaker 1: not just like practice for practice sake', it's practicing to

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Speaker 1: actually move the feeling of panic and the feeling of anger,

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Speaker 1: and the feeling of worry and stress and frustration and overwhelm.

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Speaker 1: That is so that's so blanketed our globe right now. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And then you know where if that's the universal aspect

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Speaker 1: that binds us all together underneath that is a thought,

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Speaker 1: a core belief, and that's you know, unique to us

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Speaker 1: all where that thought came from. But if I were

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Speaker 1: to synthesize the thought that I feel as I'm teaching,

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Speaker 1: and the thought that I can sense in the ethers

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Speaker 1: when I feel hundreds of people practicing along with me,

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Speaker 1: it's that sense of this wasn't supposed to happen, or

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Speaker 1: I want it to be different, you know. And it's

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Speaker 1: really in wanting it to be different that we suffer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, when you're not accepting what is and just hoping

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Speaker 2: for what is not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And we could spend a lot of mental energy

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Speaker 1: and a lot of emotional energy in the disappointment that

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Speaker 1: this is our reality. And we could spend a lot

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Speaker 1: of that energy on shaming and blaming our circumstances for

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Speaker 1: not being what we wanted them to be. And believe me,

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Speaker 1: I'm not immune to this. I have definitely spent many

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Speaker 1: an hour in the last ten days railing on the

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Speaker 1: world for turning upside down. And I'm grateful that I

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Speaker 1: have the platform of the class to teach, and also

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Speaker 1: the platform the class to take class when I need

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Speaker 1: it to support the shift that thought process and that

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Speaker 1: feeling process, one that's really based in woe and fear,

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Speaker 1: and using my body and using my awareness and my

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Speaker 1: consciousness to come into a place of stability and ground,

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Speaker 1: and recognizing that the only way to get through this

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Speaker 1: is to bear witness to my reality.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be honest with you about my first

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Speaker 2: experience at the class Go for It. It was about

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Speaker 2: four years ago. Now, maybe I had heard of the class.

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Speaker 2: My coworkers had gone to the class at the time.

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Speaker 2: I believe I was either still working at Self Magazine

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Speaker 2: or I had recently departed from Self Magazine and a

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Speaker 2: guy that I thought was cute who was also in

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Speaker 2: the industry, asked me if I had ever been to

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Speaker 2: the class, and I said no, and we agreed to

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Speaker 2: go take the class together. So I go to the

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Speaker 2: class for that first time. He stands me up, doesn't

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Speaker 2: come ooh, doesn't let me know what's going on. I

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Speaker 2: proceed to take the class, and in that hour long

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Speaker 2: period of my life, I was so thankful that he

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Speaker 2: didn't show.

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Speaker 1: Up so nice.

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Speaker 2: I remember that first class thinking what is this? And

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Speaker 2: the kicker here is that we did end up going

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Speaker 2: to the class together, and I remember kind of feeling

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Speaker 2: like I had this secret in my pocket that I

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Speaker 2: wasn't telling him what he was about to get into,

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Speaker 2: but I wanted to see how he reacted afterward and

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Speaker 2: to be there for some reaction. Yes, oh it was

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Speaker 2: pretty Yeah, it was pretty impressive that man became my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend verbict, but that is no longer. No longer.

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Speaker 1: But you kept going, you kept practicing.

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Speaker 2: I kept practicing, I think right now, and this is

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Speaker 2: kind of what brought us to this conversation and why

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Speaker 2: I wanted to bring you to the podcast, is that

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Speaker 2: I am certainly finding healing by taking the class. And

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Speaker 2: the other day when I was taking a class that

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Speaker 2: you were instructing, it just kind of hit me and

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Speaker 2: it brought me back to a moment when I had

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Speaker 2: taught my final class. I used to teach spin and

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Speaker 2: I remember that one of the writers, as I walked

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Speaker 2: out of the studio, they said to me, I wish

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Speaker 2: that I could bottle up the things that you were

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Speaker 2: saying to me on that bike and I could carry

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Speaker 2: them around with me and listen to them when I

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Speaker 2: wanted to. And when I was taking your class the

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Speaker 2: other morning, I had this moment where I thought to myself, like,

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Speaker 2: I want to share you with as.

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Speaker 1: Many people as I Oh, Emily, thank you. That really

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Speaker 1: warms my heart. I so appreciate that, and I wish

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Speaker 1: to God I could rewind time to take your classes.

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Speaker 1: So thank you.

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Speaker 2: You're sweet. So tell me a little bit about where

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Speaker 2: you grew up, because you didn't just roll into that

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Speaker 2: Tribeca studio fresh out of the womb.

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Speaker 1: So where are you from?

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Speaker 2: And have you always had a vested interest in movement

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Speaker 2: like this great question.

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Speaker 1: I'm from La you know I was. My mother was

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Speaker 1: an ex nun who left the nunnery because she knew

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Speaker 1: she wanted to find and create a family for herself.

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Speaker 1: And my dad is a doctor and right now, you know,

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Speaker 1: for the sake of this conversation, it's actually interesting to

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Speaker 1: note that he's a pulmonologist in the ICU, So of

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Speaker 1: course that's ground zero for where COVID nineteen patients wind up.

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Speaker 1: So he's a doctor. And growing up in La I

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Speaker 1: was either going to learn about spirituality through the body

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Speaker 1: or I was going to learn about the body through spirituality,

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Speaker 1: and it was very much a part of my childhood

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Speaker 1: both things. In college, I studied theater and I studied

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Speaker 1: movement modalities that were about finding changing, and shifting emotion

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Speaker 1: in the body as it pertained to character development. And

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Speaker 1: then I was an actor and a dancer. I used

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Speaker 1: to dance for rock bands in my twenties, and in

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Speaker 1: between gigs, I used to bartend and then decided to

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Speaker 1: clean up my act a little bit. Too many bike

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Speaker 1: rides home and dawn wasted on whiskey. So I ended

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Speaker 1: up finding a job at Lululemon, and that's where I

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Speaker 1: met Tarn because she used to come in and say

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Speaker 1: hello and buy pair pants and she was just sort

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Speaker 1: of in the neighborhood and we hit it off, and

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Speaker 1: she was doing this thing in the gym of her

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Speaker 1: apartment building and it would later become called the class.

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Speaker 1: So at the time, I put twenty bucks in her

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Speaker 1: kid's trick or treat basket. It went to her mentor

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Speaker 1: in Peru, and after my second class, she was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, Nat, have you thought about teaching? And I said,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I've really been wanting to teach something.

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Speaker 1: So she's really intuitive and I'm pretty organized. So I

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Speaker 1: took it upon myself to say, look, if you let

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Speaker 1: me take your class, I'll set your class up, i'll

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Speaker 1: break it down and on Sundays, I'll teach my friends

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Speaker 1: for free. And she said yes, and basically a website.

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Speaker 1: You know, she created a website. I remember the day

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Speaker 1: she came in and was like, I think I'm going

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Speaker 1: to call it the class. And then that was in

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Speaker 1: twenty thirteen, and it was just the two of us

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Speaker 1: on the back end for about two and a half years.

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Speaker 1: Jac was the third teacher for about two and a

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Speaker 1: half years. In twenty sixteen we started to grow the

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Speaker 1: company and now we're in La Vancouver, New York and

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Speaker 1: praise be to Jesus a la Buddha on high. We've

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Speaker 1: got this live streaming platform since January. So that's sort

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Speaker 1: of the quick or maybe long, depending on how you

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Speaker 1: see it, version of how I got here.

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Speaker 2: Firstly, you did talk about how it really is a

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Speaker 2: spiritual practice. Why don't you tell me set the scene

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Speaker 2: for what a class could quote unquote look like, whether

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Speaker 2: you're digitally streaming it or if you're in the actual studio.

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Speaker 1: You got it. So essentially what happens is, let's just

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Speaker 1: take the first movement. The first movement is the instructor

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Speaker 1: will put on some loud music, some artfully curated songs

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Speaker 1: that we use both for the physical journey but also

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Speaker 1: the emotional one, and the instructor will guide you into squats, right.

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Speaker 1: And so maybe the first thirty seconds you're like, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got this. Squat's done this before, and then maybe

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Speaker 1: a minute into it, your mind starts to pipe in

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Speaker 1: and it was like, wait a second, the song isn't

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Speaker 1: over and we're still squatting. And then the mind starts

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Speaker 1: to solve the problem for your body starting to tire right,

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Speaker 1: and the body is starting to acknowledge the challenge that

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Speaker 1: the song isn't over and you're still being asked to

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Speaker 1: do this repetitive movement, and now the instructor is guiding

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Speaker 1: you to witness your thought, Oh my gosh, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I can do this, or I wish it

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Speaker 1: was harder, I wish it was easier. There's too many

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Speaker 1: people in the room, there's not enough people in the

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Speaker 1: room and the mind starts to fixate on solving. And

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Speaker 1: we all have our own unique brand of how we

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Speaker 1: try to solve for difficulty. So the instructor is now

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Speaker 1: basically asking you to notice your thoughts as opposed to

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Speaker 1: merge with them. And I think your listeners are probably

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Speaker 1: very well versed in this, but I would say for

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Speaker 1: anybody who's new to mindfulness, the real pillar of mindfulness

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Speaker 1: is the discernment between you merging with your thought meaning

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Speaker 1: I am frustrated and separating yourself and witnessing you having

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Speaker 1: a thought which would be I notice that the feeling

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Speaker 1: that's arising is frustration. That's how we begin, and then

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Speaker 1: from there it really depends on the texture and color

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Speaker 1: and teaching angle of the teacher.

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Speaker 2: Of course, So when you went to start teaching this

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Speaker 2: unique method, to say the least, talk to me about

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Speaker 2: what that transition was like and how you started to

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Speaker 2: find yourself and get to know yourself better through that practice.

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Speaker 1: Well, the beginning, you know, it didn't look like this.

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Speaker 1: It looked like one movement for one song when we

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Speaker 1: first began in twenty thirteen, And that's true. And then

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Speaker 1: over the course of time, Taran was really developing ways

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Speaker 1: to keep people motivated and like climbing up that mountain.

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Speaker 1: And then Taran and I both went through incredible difficulty

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Speaker 1: in our personal lives as we were working together in

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Speaker 1: this literally side by side at a desk in her

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Speaker 1: you know, spare bedroom in her apartment, and as we

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Speaker 1: were going through these incredibly painful personal experiences, that the

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Speaker 1: class ended up becoming medicinal for us. And that's how

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Speaker 1: the work really deepened. My own personal experience is that

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Speaker 1: on February twentieth or twenty first, I taught my first

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Speaker 1: public class, which was in a kid's dance studio on

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Speaker 1: the third floor of like a random building in New York.

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Speaker 1: Were like kids barbies falling off of the changing room

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Speaker 1: and you know, it was all very DIY. And three

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Speaker 1: days later, on February twenty fourth, twenty fourteen, my mom just,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be crass because it was a cross experience.

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Speaker 1: She just dropped dead. Truly. You know, I wish I

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Speaker 1: could say it more pleasantly like she passed away, but

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Speaker 1: she was in our home, in her bedroom, and she

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Speaker 1: there was no hospital visit, there was no sickness. She

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Speaker 1: just got seventy years old just passed away. And you know,

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Speaker 1: it's one of those moments where you don't ever think

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Speaker 1: you are going to be the one to receive that

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Speaker 1: cinematic phone call. You know, not at twenty seven. You're immortal.

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Speaker 1: Your life is plotted before you. You don't you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, You don't know that. Nobody foresees that.

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Speaker 1: So that, you know, brought me and my family to

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Speaker 1: my knees and to our knees. And I spent two

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Speaker 1: weeks with my family and I came back to New

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Speaker 1: York and Taren said, you know what, what if you

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Speaker 1: got back on the mat. You know, she did not

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Speaker 1: want to force me at all. She was so empathetic

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Speaker 1: and loving and supportive and truly a sister for me

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Speaker 1: in those moments. One of the first people that called

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Speaker 1: me when I got the news, and I said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's let's do it. And that was the turning point

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Speaker 1: for me when the class was no longer about fitness,

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Speaker 1: but the class was about a skill set and a

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Speaker 1: tool and a practice that would help me move through

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Speaker 1: my life the ups and downs. And it was where

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Speaker 1: I processed a lot of what it is to experience

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Speaker 1: a trauma a death, you know, a pitfall a well. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the class means so much to me, and it's it's

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Speaker 1: only continued to deepen as I've gotten older.

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Speaker 2: So you start to teach, you go through this horrible,

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Speaker 2: horrible incident in your personal life, shocking event, and then

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Speaker 2: you get back on the mat and you seem to

404
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Speaker 2: be able to find a little bit more of your way.

405
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Speaker 2: It's like as if the practice is a light for you,

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Speaker 2: guiding you to what's next. And in this scenario, in

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Speaker 2: these set of circumstances, did you expect that this would

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Speaker 2: kind of be a full time thing for you?

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Speaker 1: At twenty seven, I was really looking to make a shift.

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Speaker 1: I knew that the lifestyle of a performer was no

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Speaker 1: longer for me. The expression of a performer, of that

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Speaker 1: emotional outlet was key for me, but I was really

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Speaker 1: looking to shed the costume. I did everything when I

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Speaker 1: met Taran Was. I would work for her in the morning,

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Speaker 1: and then I would go to Lululemon and work a

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Speaker 1: six hour shift, and then I would go to my

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Speaker 1: off Broadway show at the Mint and I would perform

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Speaker 1: until eleven o'clock at night, and I would wake up

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Speaker 1: and get to Tribeca at eight o'clock. So I was

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Speaker 1: doing three jobs, juggling at all until I figured out

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Speaker 1: what it is I wanted. It wasn't clear in the

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Speaker 1: outset of meeting Taran. It was clear that I loved

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Speaker 1: her and that I was into what she was doing,

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Speaker 1: but it took me a couple of months to just side,

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Speaker 1: is this where I'm going to put all of my

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Speaker 1: eggs uh in this basket? And then I did. And

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Speaker 1: basically the class now is I'm the VP of programming,

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Speaker 1: which means that I run everything where the class is

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Speaker 1: found outside of a regular schedule, and I'm a founding teacher.

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Speaker 1: And so what that's really done for me is that

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Speaker 1: that creative, expressive outlet is used through the platform of teaching,

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Speaker 1: and then my very analytic, intellectual, you know, prefrontal cortex

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Speaker 1: executive functioning is satisfied by the other part of my job,

434
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 1: which has a lot to do with spreadsheets. So I

435
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 1: feel lucky that I was almost able to craft the

436
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: job of my dreams. And I think Taran and I

437
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: did that really intentionally.

438
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 2: It's hard to it's hard to articulate this, but I

439
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 2: think so often, you know, we hear this piece of advice,

440
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 2: which is, keep working until you've found that thing you

441
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 2: know makes you excited, until you can find this job

442
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 2: that literally gives you butterflies, and you know, that piece

443
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 2: of wisdom is all wonderful, But it doesn't really happen

444
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 2: like that for everyone.

445
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 1: I think the plague amongst our generation, which I'm at

446
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: the cusp of the millennial generation, is that there's this

447
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: search for happiness in our job, and I don't know

448
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: that that's ever what I aspire to. I would say

449
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: my search has been for purpose, and that feels much

450
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: more deeply rooted for me. And there's been plenty of

451
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: times in the last seven years where I haven't been happy,

452
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,719
Speaker 1: but I've been grounded in a deeper, deeper sense of fulfillment.

453
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 1: And it's because I believe in the work that we're doing,

454
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: and I believe that it important work. And so when

455
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: I've had to whatever, you know, wipe down numerous sweaty

456
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 1: maths of strangers, or stay you know, you know, work

457
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: through the weekend, or work late nights, or you know,

458
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: make certain sacrifices, I may not have been happy about it,

459
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 1: but it was doing it. It does something more meaningful

460
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 1: because there's sort of this mission behind my vocation.

461
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 2: Talk to me a little bit about living a life

462
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 2: in service, because I think that's something that we don't

463
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 2: always highlight about. You know, someone who does a job

464
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 2: like yours, so much of what you are doing is

465
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 2: giving so much of yourself and what you have to

466
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 2: offer to other people. So I would imagine, especially after

467
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: going through what you went through with the loss of

468
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: your mother, that there may have been times where you

469
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 2: just kind of felt emotionally.

470
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. Well, I what I hear in your

471
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: question is sort of twofold that first part of your question.

472
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: I would say that I don't think it's necessary for

473
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 1: everybody to be of service in the way that that

474
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,479
Speaker 1: you know, I am or whatever. If your personality and

475
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: your gifts and your skill set align with accounting, then

476
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 1: that is your service. And it may not look like leading,

477
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 1: you know, people through an emotional journey, but there is

478
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: a service you are providing to give ease to somebody else,

479
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 1: you know, to streamline somebody else's life. And I think

480
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 1: so I want to open up that definition of service

481
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 1: because I think all professions are doing something for that's

482
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: part of something else, something bigger. Right with that being said, yeah,

483
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: oh my God. Of course, There's been times where I

484
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,719
Speaker 1: wake up and I think, how the hell am I

485
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: going to show up for other people when I'm having

486
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: a hard time showing up for myself. And I think

487
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: it's because my personality and my skill set and my

488
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: gifts align in such a way where I draw energy

489
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: from being with people. I'm really an extrovert in that way,

490
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: and when I have been flattened by life, I use

491
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: the class to really talk to myself, you know, and

492
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: teach myself from that macro level. So what you're getting

493
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: is sort of the general guidance of the greater you know,

494
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: human conflict. But what's happening in my own self and

495
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: in my own heart is me allowing my higher self

496
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: to take the reins and take the mic and basically

497
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 1: say nat like say which you need to hear today.

498
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: And quite often, I would say ninety nine percent of

499
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: the time, somebody will say, God, I felt like you

500
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 1: were talking to me. And that's really where we are all,

501
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: won right, That's really where we are all in this

502
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: shared experience of moving through this thing called life.

503
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 2: Of course, And I mean it has been some time

504
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 2: since the loss of your mother, in twenty fourteen, and

505
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 2: I'm sure that you have come across many hurdles since

506
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 2: then that have made it a little hard to show

507
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 2: up in those tough days. But alas you still have.

508
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 2: When you think about the past few years, is there

509
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 2: anything that stands out to you?

510
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, in two thousand and eighteen, I was

511
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: living in LA with my former husband and we went

512
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 1: through a tough time where we were trying to figure

513
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: out our the dynamics of our relationship, and I had

514
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: the calling to move back to New York to expand

515
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 1: the business where we were and what our goals and

516
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: plans were at the time, and so we started couples therapy,

517
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 1: and we started to do couple therapy over zoom or

518
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 1: over FaceTime or you know, what have you. And basically,

519
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 1: over the course of twenty eighteen, it was like the

520
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: year of our marriage unraveling and we ultimately got a divorce.

521
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: It's similar to twenty fourteen in that they're both deaths.

522
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 1: One is this, you know, my mother's death was the

523
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 1: physical body, the physical plane leaving this earth, and then

524
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 1: my relationship ending to my former husband was very much

525
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 1: like an emotional grieving and you know, I think I again,

526
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 1: just as we were talking about earlier, we all have

527
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 1: these expectations for our lives, and when you get married,

528
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 1: you don't ever dream that you'll get divorced. And so

529
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen was a really big year for me in

530
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: terms of coming face to face with truth about myself,

531
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: truths about the dynamics in our relationship. You know. I

532
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 1: think where I started was confronting him with how I

533
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 1: felt there were all these wrongdoings or shortcomings, and ultimately,

534
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 1: by the end of the year, what I realized was

535
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 1: so many of those shortcomings were on my side of things,

536
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,359
Speaker 1: and it was this deep process of holding myself accountable

537
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 1: to where I wasn't showing it for the relationship in

538
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 1: my best self. So in twenty nineteen it was a

539
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 1: real reclamation of, you know, pulling myself back up off

540
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: the ground. And I was still in therapy at the time.

541
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:52,879
Speaker 1: I fell in love again, and there was this, you know, renaissance.

542
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 1: I look back at it, I call it my natissance.

543
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 1: But yeah, a lot of painful, painful lessons and aggrieving

544
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:02,760
Speaker 1: for what's living.

545
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 2: Actually, I mean that sounds so difficult. I think a

546
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 2: question that I get asked often is how do you

547
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 2: stay motivated when it literally just feels like everything is

548
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 2: going wrong. It's a question that I know so many

549
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:21,359
Speaker 2: people are feeling and relating to at this moment. So

550
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 2: during those hard times, aside from obviously your connection to

551
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 2: movement and your connection to your spirit, what is it

552
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 2: that you would tell yourself to get up on those

553
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:35,240
Speaker 2: hard days?

554
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: Of course, the class is my my sort of my

555
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: church where I go to find that place to pick

556
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,839
Speaker 1: myself off the ground. But if I were to dive

557
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 1: into what it is about the class that is so

558
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 1: useful for me personally, it's that when we're in times

559
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 1: of overwhelm or obsession or neurosis or our own complexes,

560
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 1: because we've been totally taken over by the feeling, or

561
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 1: by the thought, or by the story of what's going on?

562
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 1: Right and what the practice of consciousness or mindfulness or

563
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: the class which are gong or yoga or meditation, what

564
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 1: all of these have in common is that you're being

565
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 1: asked to watch your heart go through these perturbations, these palpitations,

566
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 1: as opposed to becoming the palpitation itself. So rather than

567
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 1: being just completely steamrolled by the worri stress, beer, grief,

568
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 1: there is an aspect of you that can separate distance,

569
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 1: not in an disembodied way or a disassociated way, but

570
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: from a witness perspective and say, Wow, my heart is

571
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:03,439
Speaker 1: going through the tumble in your right now. And if

572
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:08,839
Speaker 1: I can allow myself to let my heart go through

573
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:14,280
Speaker 1: those palpitations, perturbations, disturbances, I'll actually get through them much faster.

574
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 1: It's when we try to hold back the heart from beating,

575
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 1: as it is, that we prolong our own suffering.

576
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 2: I'm just mari, I'm just I'm just marinating in this

577
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 2: mic drop that you just the.

578
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 3: Way that I heard it described, the way that I

579
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 3: read it described by Michael Singer is he says, you know,

580
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 3: a fish in water can swim, a fish.

581
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: In ice is held in place, so meaning a fish

582
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:52,280
Speaker 1: in the free flowing emotion or flee free flowing thought

583
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:57,800
Speaker 1: is moving through it, right. But if the emotion or

584
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: the thought or the story is held and gripped and

585
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: in a place of stasis and static and obsession, right,

586
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: then there's no movement of it. And that's really where

587
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: we feel our nervous system expire, right. That's where we

588
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,760
Speaker 1: feel sickness come on. That's where we feel our body

589
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 1: exhaust and that's also where we feel ourselves becoming the

590
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 1: worst in front of the ones we love the most.

591
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 2: And I think it takes time to come to these

592
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 2: sorts of realizations. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes going through some

593
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 2: of this hard stuff that you wouldn't wish upon anyone

594
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 2: at any time. But what we can do in these

595
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 2: times of adversity, in these undesirable moments, is understand that

596
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 2: we have the opportunity to learn something from them, regardless

597
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 2: of how difficult they might be.

598
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think something that I'm holding in my own

599
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 1: heart and mind pretty astutely is that we don't grow

600
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: from being in the comfort zone. You know, and you

601
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 1: know this so well because of who you are and

602
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,720
Speaker 1: the nature of your podcast. If you listen to any athlete,

603
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: they'll say the same thing. Does How does a muscle

604
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 1: strengthen because you give it something to push up against?

605
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 1: How does your will strengthen because you give it something

606
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 1: to push up against? And that's what we are collectively

607
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 1: globally involved in right now. We are being pressed up against.

608
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 1: And so you know what the challenge is is to

609
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:46,280
Speaker 1: not despair upon despair. It's the challenge is Wow, I'm deeply,

610
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: profoundly uncomfortable with my groundlessness right now? So what was

611
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 1: it that I was so attached to? I was at

612
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 1: touched to regularity. I was a touched to familiarity. I

613
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: was attached to my schedule and the way that I

614
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 1: get my coffee made at the local coffee shop who

615
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 1: knows my name. And so when all of that is

616
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 1: pulled out from underneath me, where is my ground And

617
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: it comes back to your values and what matters to you.

618
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 1: And ultimately that's a very personal, intimate journey.

619
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:28,240
Speaker 2: I think it's really important right now that we take

620
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:33,280
Speaker 2: the time to make some of these lists. Right whether

621
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 2: it's in the middle of the night with a notepad

622
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 2: by your bed, or if it's with conscious time come

623
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 2: a Saturday afternoon for the upteenth hour inside of your home,

624
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 2: but to take the time to sit down and really

625
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:50,879
Speaker 2: articulate the things that really matter, write down what are

626
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 2: my values, what are the things that I want to prioritize,

627
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 2: what are the things that I want to work on,

628
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 2: and also setting perhaps some new goals during this time.

629
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 2: I don't want anyone to go out and think that

630
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,240
Speaker 2: they have to come up with the next massive, great idea,

631
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 2: just because of what's going on in the world. It's

632
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 2: okay to take a step back and just be. But

633
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 2: we have an opportunity right now to articulate and kind

634
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 2: of think and have some intention behind who it is

635
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 2: that we are and who it is that we want

636
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 2: to be.

637
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so nice. And I would expound on that

638
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 1: and say, if I were to do a writing exercise myself,

639
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: I would do what's working and what's not working? And

640
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 1: I think that question is really helpful for me, especially

641
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 1: in the relationship to the news. You know, it's like,

642
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:45,840
Speaker 1: how much consumption is helpful and what becomes neurotic? And

643
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 1: you know, how much of my precautionary measures are helpful

644
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: and what's turning into xenophobia? And what's that line between

645
00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 1: useful and harmful? And then you can extend that into Wow,

646
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 1: looking back on where I was a month ago, I

647
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 1: was in deep pain and stress because of X y

648
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,839
Speaker 1: Z thing, And without those things, I'm learning that I

649
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 1: really value time in the morning. And after all of

650
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 1: this is over, I'm going to prioritize waking up thirty

651
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 1: minutes earlier to take a walk or meditate or you know,

652
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: make that special tea duringk or whatever, so that we

653
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 1: can eventually come to understand what really truly is homeostasis

654
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 1: for us.

655
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 2: Let me just say that I have never valued taking

656
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 2: a walk more than right now in my liace. I

657
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 2: look forward to my afternoon walk like I look forward

658
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 2: to Martini after it all day.

659
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,759
Speaker 1: I mean, really, though, if there's anything that this thing

660
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: is doing, it's stripping us down to the most simplistic needs.

661
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 1: It turns out we don't really need oat milk over

662
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 1: hemp milk.

663
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 2: Who really get mad at your barista the next time?

664
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 1: Just who gives a fuck? Actually?

665
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 2: You know?

666
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 1: And what really matters is our ability to connect with

667
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 1: our friends and our family. What really matters is that

668
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 1: we have clean water and enough food and some form

669
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: of an income that gets us through the days, and

670
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: the ability to take a walk, and everything else is superfluous.

671
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,399
Speaker 2: Talk to me a little bit about how you give

672
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: back to yourself outside of instruction.

673
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you for asking that question. Writing you know,

674
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:48,880
Speaker 1: this open letter to series is giving me so much

675
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 1: because it's opening up a portal of my own creativity

676
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:55,280
Speaker 1: that I didn't quite know where to put that energy.

677
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 1: And that's been really medicinal for me. I really enjoy

678
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 1: freehand journaling, just letting my mind do its thing. I've also,

679
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: I'm sure, like many of you, bought way too many

680
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:16,959
Speaker 1: books on Amazon, and I'm flipping through I think five

681
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: on my bookstand right now, and then I think one

682
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 1: of the little things is prioritizing boundaries with work at

683
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 1: home and making sure that there's a certain time in

684
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 1: the evening where I'm no longer in the space where

685
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:37,959
Speaker 1: my laptop is, and choosing what to do at that time,

686
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 1: whether it's sitting down at a table and connecting with

687
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 1: my incredible boyfriend face to face, or taking a longer

688
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 1: shower than usual, or picking a difficult recipe and putting

689
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 1: my mind and attention on something that will be both

690
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 1: creative and nourishing.

691
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 2: And all the things that you listed are again so

692
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 2: basic and so simplistic, and it's so beautiful to have

693
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:06,720
Speaker 2: the opportunity to live a life that all right, briefly

694
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 2: ideally is uncomplicated and then be able to bring some

695
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 2: of that less chaotic being back into the fold when

696
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 2: the fold, when that fold really happens.

697
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, I would say that all of

698
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 1: that that less chaotic being is like all of those

699
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:31,439
Speaker 1: things are free, you know. And I think where we

700
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: were a couple of weeks ago was certainly in the

701
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 1: commodification of the wellness space, the industry of wellness, and

702
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 1: I think a lot of our self soothing habits end

703
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 1: up becoming quite expensive, you know, whether you're going from

704
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 1: massage or your retail therapy or what have you. And

705
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 1: because we're all feeling some kind of financial strain right now,

706
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,839
Speaker 1: whether we're taking pay cuts or we got laid off,

707
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 1: or we're unsure where the next you know, consulting gig

708
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 1: is going to come from. I think there's hope in

709
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:10,439
Speaker 1: knowing that the real self soothing tools, the ones that

710
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:16,399
Speaker 1: have long standing benefits and create long lasting change, are

711
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: the ones that are free.

712
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

713
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 1: And I say this as a business who sells co

714
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 1: branded bath salts, and are they the best? Of course

715
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 1: they're the best. But you know, a bath doesn't mean

716
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: anything if your mind and your your presence is not

717
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 1: in the bath with you.

718
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:40,319
Speaker 2: What is it that you hope to accomplish in the

719
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 2: next three months versus in the next three years?

720
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 1: Wow, in the next three months. I am dedicated to unification,

721
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 1: So I'm dedicated to making myself available on the class

722
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 1: platform as much as I can in this time where

723
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 1: our relationship to our lower self is in deep proximity,

724
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 1: and what we're really needing and what we're being asked

725
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 1: to do is rise into action from our higher self.

726
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 1: So I feel dedicated to that practice. And then I

727
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 1: really am trying to use social media for the purpose

728
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 1: of unification rather than divisiveness. There's so many opportunities every

729
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,360
Speaker 1: time you open up the news to put your attention

730
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 1: on dividing, on division, and I'm attempting to use this

731
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 1: is Natalie, you know my Instagram handle as a way

732
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: to say, honey, I get it, and you're not alone,

733
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: and we're we're and we're in this. We're human together.

734
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 1: So that's sort of the immediate while we while we're

735
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 1: in this, and then in the next three years, I

736
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 1: really I want to cultivate as much personal ground for

737
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 1: myself where I can move into relationship and career and

738
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: sense of self with as much ease as possible. And

739
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 1: my hope is that I become so strong in my

740
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 1: own practices that the being possessed by stress is a

741
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 1: time of the past, because I do believe that, I

742
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 1: do believe that stress is it ultimately is a choice,

743
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 1: but it does not feel like a choice when we

744
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: are unpracticed, and I fall into that repeatedly. I am

745
00:49:56,840 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 1: I'm not immune to that at all. So that's what

746
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: I'm working on the next three years, of really honing

747
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 1: my own stability to make stress a thing of the past.

748
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 2: I dig that. I love that your three year goal

749
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:20,320
Speaker 2: is a state of being and not say a house

750
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 2: with a picket fence or oh my god, it's not funny.

751
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,440
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about that. I should probably have

752
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 1: those goals too.

753
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 2: Oh you don't need anybody else's goals to.

754
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: Be Oh god, yeah, but truly yeah, because I think

755
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,799
Speaker 1: I really feel like all of the other things are

756
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 1: going to fall into place once I write my own path, right.

757
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 1: But if I'm able to be easeful in the way

758
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 1: of the heart and the mind, my relationship will continue

759
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 1: to blossom. And I'm so grateful that I'm in a

760
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 1: partnership where he's on that path too, and he's you know,

761
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: really advanced in that practice. And then I'm in a

762
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:03,799
Speaker 1: kind where that's that is very supported. And then my

763
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 1: sense of self is constantly in studentship, whether it's in

764
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:13,319
Speaker 1: therapy or I work with an intimacy coach, or my

765
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: own creativity, or the way that I speak to myself

766
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 1: when I look in the mirror. You know, all of

767
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:22,120
Speaker 1: that self talk. It's all you know in deep studentship.

768
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,800
Speaker 2: Can you talk to me about working with an intimacy coach?

769
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the fucking best. So Yeah. Her name is

770
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 1: Rachel Dunville and her company is called Erosia AE r

771
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 1: O Sha And basically, whatever your needs are in the

772
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 1: realm of intimacy, she is there to support you. So

773
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 1: the extreme version, like you're interested in you know, orgies

774
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 1: at a Dungeons and Dragons layer, Great, Okay, great, I'll

775
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 1: be like, go for that. For me, what my work

776
00:51:54,600 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 1: has been, especially after my divorce, was understanding my relationship

777
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:04,280
Speaker 1: to masculine energy and feminine energy. And despite the class

778
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:08,719
Speaker 1: being full of women, the practice itself is well, it's

779
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 1: both masculine and feminine, but the executive part of my

780
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 1: job is pretty masculine. It's action oriented, it's ambition, it's

781
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:18,840
Speaker 1: getting things done, and I'm talking about in the archetypal

782
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,799
Speaker 1: energetic sphere right And in the past I've had a

783
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: really hard time leaving that energy and shifting into the

784
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:32,720
Speaker 1: feminine energy, which is much more receptive and open and soft.

785
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:39,320
Speaker 1: And so she's helped me ritualize and maneuver the ability

786
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:44,400
Speaker 1: to move between both energies with ease and fluency.

787
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 2: And that's interesting.

788
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's changed my relationship to sex. It's changed

789
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:53,720
Speaker 1: my relationship to relationship, and more than anything, it's changed

790
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 1: my own relationship to pleasure. And I'm not even talking

791
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,760
Speaker 1: about sexual pleasure. I'm talking about, like, you know, taking

792
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 1: in the beauty of a flower that's springing up from

793
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 1: the concrete, or the ability for me to smell my

794
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 1: food before I taste my food, and for that matter,

795
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 1: actually taste it. So it's done a lot for my

796
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 1: sensorial experience of the world.

797
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:23,760
Speaker 2: Interesting. So you did mention being open on social media.

798
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:28,239
Speaker 2: When people go to your Instagram, for example, and they

799
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 2: see you, they might on the surface see a beautiful

800
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 2: woman who is open to experiencing life in a way

801
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 2: that feels outwardly emotional. And again, I can't use the

802
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:49,759
Speaker 2: word open enough. Someone that is strong and passionate. When

803
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 2: you look in the mirror, what is it that you

804
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 2: see looking back at you?

805
00:53:56,520 --> 00:54:00,359
Speaker 1: God, you ask such good questions. It's really such an

806
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,120
Speaker 1: art form to ask a beautiful question, So thank you

807
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 1: so much for that one. I see someone who is

808
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 1: open and curious to her own humanity, and by that

809
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:22,360
Speaker 1: I mean I'm really open to my feelings, my feelings,

810
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 1: and I'm open to also hearing my self talk that

811
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 1: spans from you've got this girl to some really rude

812
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 1: upswells of old stories. You know these. I still grapple

813
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 1: with old stories of not being good enough, for not

814
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 1: being adequate or strong enough, or look the way that

815
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 1: the you know magazines say I should look, or you know,

816
00:54:55,560 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 1: like other people at the class or other people of

817
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:03,720
Speaker 1: my colleagues. And when I when I hear that voice,

818
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 1: and when I hear that again fiction story, I fastidiously

819
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:18,399
Speaker 1: respond with, ah, honey, it's time to practice, isn't it.

820
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 1: So I see somebody who is dedicated to growth, and

821
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 1: that growth comes with the requisite pitfalls and the requisite celebrations.

822
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:34,879
Speaker 1: When I am in a flow.

823
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 2: If you had the opportunity right now to address as

824
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 2: many people as possible with one kind of crux of

825
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 2: a takeaway at during this time, that feels just so overwhelming.

826
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 2: That's the word that I keep coming back to. If

827
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,239
Speaker 2: you have an opportunity to address them. What is it

828
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,400
Speaker 2: that you think that you would say?

829
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 1: Two things immediately spring to mind. I know asked For one,

830
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: I'm breaking the rules. My family's mantra for the last

831
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 1: I think fifteen years has been the Plato quote be

832
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 1: kind for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

833
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 1: And I think that that is not only resonant for

834
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 1: the necessary compassion and empathy we must feel for our

835
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:26,759
Speaker 1: brothers and sisters in China and in Italy, and those

836
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:30,760
Speaker 1: who are compromised, and those who have just lost their jobs.

837
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 1: So be kind, be kind to everyone. We're all feeling this.

838
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:41,359
Speaker 1: And then that also is turned inward to yourself as

839
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 1: we all navigate job loss and instability and uncertainty, to

840
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: be as as dedicated and loyal to your practice of

841
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:58,279
Speaker 1: kindness toward oneself as you possibly can be. And then

842
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 1: the other one is I would say, as we're moving

843
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 1: through this pandemic, panicdemic, to ask yourself, is it useful?

844
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:08,319
Speaker 1: Is it useful for me to spend X amount of

845
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 1: time doing anything on my computer on the news sources, sleeping, eating,

846
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,560
Speaker 1: not sleeping, not eating, taking a walk, not taking a walk.

847
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 1: What's useful? What is useful? And then what's harmful? And

848
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 1: being strict. I would say, with yourself in discrimination and

849
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 1: understanding the difference between the two.

850
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:32,440
Speaker 2: That's a beautiful piece of advice. You have the opportunity

851
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:37,480
Speaker 2: right now to offer yourself one piece of advice looking

852
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 2: back on what have been some really hard to get

853
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 2: over hurdle is the loss of your mom, perhaps your

854
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 2: divorce as well. You have the opportunity to offer yourself

855
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 2: one piece of advice looking back on those times. What

856
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 2: do you tell yourself?

857
00:57:56,000 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 1: Ah, honey, there's information in those emotions. So that's to say,

858
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 1: I shied away from anger for a long time and

859
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 1: still do in the hidden crevices of my being, and

860
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 1: every emotion is really a harbinger, a messenger from a

861
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 1: deeper place within that is letting you know what's really

862
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 1: going on. If I were to look back on those times,

863
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 1: I would say, letter it, letter it. Yeah.

864
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 2: Thank you for your time and your energy and for

865
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 2: being such a light to so many people, including me.

866
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 2: I really really appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Emily, and thank you for what you're doing

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Speaker 1: and creating the space for the difficult conversations to be had.

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Speaker 1: It's certainly where we all need to go to change things.

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Speaker 1: So thank you.

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Speaker 2: Please take a moment and leave a quick review by

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Speaker 2: picking the link with the description to this episode. We

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Speaker 2: all face hurdles in life. I want to hear about yours.

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Speaker 2: Reach Out to me at Emily at hurdle dot us.

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Speaker 2: Connect with the podcast on Instagram and Twitter at Hurdle

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Speaker 2: Podcast Natalie. Where can they find you? How can they

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Speaker 2: keep up with you? And the class give me the lowdown.

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Speaker 1: Theclass dot com is our website, at the Class is

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Speaker 1: our Instagram handfle and at this is Natalie.

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Speaker 2: Is my personal thank you. I am at Emily a

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Speaker 2: body at Hurdle Podcast. Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys

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Speaker 2: next time.