WEBVTT - “SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?” 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.280 Hello, Yeah, hello, Hello. What's your name? 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:05.480 Rudy? Not nice to talk to you? How are you? 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:10.440 Rudy Rulige, Rudy Giuliani? When did he fuck up your 0:00:10.520 --> 0:00:12.760 name a little bit? Because for something, when you say Rudy, 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:19.800 I think Rudy Giuliani, and I think the fucking reindeer, 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:24.440 Rudolph with the nose. I can't think of any other 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.240 Rudy or maybe or wait, there's a fucking kid named 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:30.480 there's not a real kid, like a cartoon child named Rudy. 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:32.360 Do you know who I'm talking about? 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.200 I don't. But the one I usually get a lot 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:37.840 is like from the Rudy movie. Like when I was younger, 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:40.960 I would tell people, like, Rudy's my nickname. I like, 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:43.080 I go buy it a lot because it's different people 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:47.240 to to pronounce than my actual name. But I would 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:50.680 get it. I would get like the movie reference, like 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:53.360 the Rudy Football movie. Have you ever seen that one. 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:55.960 The Rudy Football movie. You know what is that? 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:02.440 It's like it's like a really old school movie, but 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.000 it's that that's the name of the movie is It's Rudy. 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:07.840 It was like really popular, like in the early two thousands, 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:11.840 I believe so that's the name, Like, that's the reference. 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.759 I got a lot from like older people. They're like, oh, Rudy, 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:16.560 like from the movie, and I'd be like, yeah, sure, 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:18.160 even though I never really watched. 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:22.120 Fucking it just came to me. Rudy is the name 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:24.800 of the main character from Chalk Zone. 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:28.640 Choc Zone. Believe it or not, I haven't. I've never 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:29.360 seen that show. 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:30.400 How old are you? 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:32.240 Thirty? 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:37.720 Okay, you're in choc Zone territory? Did you used to 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:38.600 watch Nickelodeon? 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:42.360 I did, But it'sick to a lot of like SpongeBob, 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:45.480 SpongeBob and like Jimmy Neutron. 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:50.720 Yeah, he was this guy he would use chalk to 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:54.560 create You know what's funny chalk Zone. You know what's 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:59.680 funny is there's all these old like I'm about to 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:02.200 say so things so stupid, but I'm just gonna say 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.520 it and see how it sounds. But there's all these 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:13.520 like old shows about children creating characters and then talking 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:16.280 to them. Like this guy Rudy from Chalk Zone. He 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:20.399 basically enters this world made of chalk, and he created 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:24.760 he creates a little guy, a little blue guy, and 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:29.919 he make and he talks to it. Do you think 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:35.200 that's like how kids are making like chatbots that are 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:37.880 like little monsters that they can talk to with AI. 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:39.560 Is that similar? 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:45.359 Uh? I would say, yeah, so it's something a little similar. 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:50.320 I do vaguely remember the show, but I would say 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:50.920 I would say so. 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:54.400 I would say so, yeah, I mean the both signs 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:58.320 of like schizophrenia in a way. 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:00.840 Yeah, you know, I was thinking of the same thing, 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:03.119 like it probably contributes more to schizophrenia than it does 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:04.400 to like the aichatpots. 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:08.760 But you know, yeah, so yeah, I think it's best 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:13.400 to I think it's best to talk to real people, 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:16.480 I guess, or like having an imaginary friend, you should 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:19.000 have a real imaginary friend. 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.240 Yeah. Yeah, But then you know, kids get a little 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:26.320 little too ahead of themselves. You know, we'll draw like 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:28.640 the little pictures, and then you know it leads to 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:30.760 parents to get concerned, and that's how horror movies start. 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:32.000 You know. 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.680 You texted me and said, I live in America. My 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:39.480 girlfriend wants me to move to Japan to be with her, 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:42.280 but I feel like it's a huge risk to give 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:46.520 up everything and go. I would like some outside advice 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:55.520 from the wise Gecko man, please sir okay okay, is 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:59.120 your girlfriend Japanese or she just wants to move to Japan. 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:04.120 No, she is one hundred percent Japanese. She was born there. 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:10.000 She's half Japanese and have Spanish, and she wants me 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:13.560 to go over there. Obviously, Like I've already mentioned my age, 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:17.160 I'm thirty years old, she's thirty two. She's going to 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:26.240 turn thirty three in July. And so I basically already 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:29.919 have my life settled here in America. I got a 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:33.640 good job, it's Union, so I make pretty decent money, 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:39.920 pension insurance. I bought a house back in twenty seventeen, 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:45.720 so like my payments are pretty well. But I've tried 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.359 convincing her to come live in America with me, but 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:53.240 she doesn't really want to kind of give up her lifestyle, 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:56.600 and she kind of wants me to go over there. 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:00.400 So I'm kind of like conflicted a little bit. 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:04.400 You know, It's funny, there's there's actually a lot of 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:08.200 there's a lot of like key differences, but something kind 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:11.679 of exactly similar. I won't go into too much detail 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.680 detail about it, but like something kind of exactly similar 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:19.520 actually also happened to me where I thought I almost 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:28.839 moved to Japan for similarly reasons. Japan is awesome. Japan 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.240 is like a great fucking time. Have you been? I 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:32.960 assume you've been. 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:38.080 I have. I went there for the first time ever 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:41.000 last year to visit her. I was there for two weeks, 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:45.520 and then this past January I was actually staying with 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:48.839 her for three months, so I got a good little 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.880 taste of it, which was which was nice, different way 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:55.080 of life. Obviously, I wasn't really working while I was there. 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:56.680 It was more like kind of studying a little bit, 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:01.120 but very different, very different from America, but a little 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:03.920 difficult to talk to people because I'm not fluent in 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:07.240 the language. I could barely speak it. So yeah, very 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:09.080 very different. But I loved it. It was it was 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:10.600 absolutely amazing. It was beautiful. 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:13.920 I mean it's great. Yeah. I've spent like four months there, 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:16.080 not like concurrently, but like over the course of like 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:21.520 a few years, and it's it's fucking sweet. The biggest 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:23.720 problem with it, and one of the big reasons I 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:30.400 decided to not move there, is because like, like you're 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:36.239 totally not supposed to be there. That was my feeling 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:39.440 is like it's a you know, it's not like a 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:41.560 like like one the one of the cool things, like 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:43.720 one of the cool things about America is that, like 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:49.560 you know, we have like diversity, Like there's no like 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:53.960 every like you walk around in like a major American city, 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:57.840 you see every ethnicity of person. But like you know, Tokyo, 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:00.640 it's it's a mono culture. And like if you're not 0:07:01.680 --> 0:07:04.320 like a Japanese person, you do really feel it. 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:08.520 Yeah, that's one thing that I like you said, you 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:11.440 really do feel it. When I was there, Like obviously, 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:14.640 like I said, she's half uh Spanish, so she's not 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.400 like she doesn't fully look like a Japanese person. You 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:19.880 could tell like she's next with something. But even when 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:22.480 we would go to like restaurants and stuff, like they 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:24.800 would try talking to us in English because they would 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:28.120 see that I was a foreigner and obviously she's not. 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:31.120 She doesn't look like fully Japanese and she would have 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:33.080 to like talk to them like oh, like Japanese is 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:36.760 okay basically, and they would like profusely like apologize like oh, 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:40.760 I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, you know, but definitely, yeah, 0:07:40.800 --> 0:07:44.000 like here in America, it's very different, Like nobody really 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:47.680 bats an eye at you know, a foreign person, so 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:50.760 to speak. And then over there obviously you know you 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:52.000 do stick out like a sort thumb. 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:55.480 Yeah, it's uh, I mean it's also it's tough. It's 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:59.960 a tough place to be in without speaking the language. 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:03.200 Where are you based currently that you don't want to 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:03.800 move out of? 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:08.560 I'm currently based in Illinois. Yeah. 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:11.200 Where are in Illinois? 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:18.920 Towards like the suburbs, towards like the Naperville Plainfield and 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:22.440 like that area out there. I actually was considering going 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:26.080 to your show, Okay, yeah, in a couple of months. 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:28.440 I think it's like in August, right or something like that. 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:31.440 Uh, I've had too. I've got one in Bloomington. I 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:33.240 have actually no fucking idea where that is, and then 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:34.239 one in Chicago. 0:08:35.480 --> 0:08:37.640 Oh okay, yeah, I was considering. I was considering going, 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:39.840 but I don't really have anybody to to go with. 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:46.079 So yeah, I'm gonna find somebody. Yeah, it's I'll think 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:47.120 about it. I'll think about it. 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:52.920 But anyway, anyway, anyway, I'm so she and she wantsn't 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:56.520 moved to Tokyo or like some random ass Japanese town 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:58.680 in like rural place. 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:05.360 So she lives in Shibuya, Tokyo, Like she's probably like 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:10.520 a fifteen minute walk away from Shibuya crossing a. Yeah, 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.600 she's got like a really nice studio apartment. She works 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:19.720 really hard. She's like a she's a Japanese language teacher, 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:25.160 so she'll teach like English speaking students like Japanese, and 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:30.640 she'll also teach like Japanese people like English. You know, 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.640 so she's got she's got a pretty good setup. She 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:35.960 works really hard. She works every single day, you know, 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:38.880 doing like administrative work along with her teaching jobs. So 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:42.960 she's definitely done pretty well for herself. 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:47.480 So how did you meet this girl? 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:56.080 So my job allows me. It's kind of like it's 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:59.360 kind of like seasonal ish, like I have the option 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:03.040 to kind of take the enter off. So I never 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:06.599 really traveled outside of America, and I was going to 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:09.120 do a solo trip and I was kind of looking 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:11.840 at different countries. That was a really big you know anime. 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:15.360 Wee not like super big, but you know, I liked anime. 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:18.840 So I figured Japan is pretty safe, It's got very 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:24.640 convenient train systems and relatively cheap compared to America and 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:28.800 a completely different culture. So I was planning to take 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:33.319 the winter off between January to April and go and 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:38.840 stay in Japan. And I tried learning the language, so 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:42.720 I bought a couples like study books, but I wasn't 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:48.720 really too good at like at you know, studying by myself. 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:53.800 So I went on Google. I looked up Japanese you know, tutors, 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:57.320 and it directed me to a prepay like a website. Yeah, 0:10:57.640 --> 0:11:01.400 And basically, like I searched through a whole bunch of 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:05.160 different teachers and I ended up finding her, and you know, 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:08.040 we kind of got to talking a little bit and 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:11.240 then things just kind of went from there. And that's 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:14.560 just kind of how we met. I she like we 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:17.679 kind of went half and half on the plane ticket, 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:21.160 but she ended up coming over here back in July. 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:23.680 That was like the first time we met. And then 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:26.679 she came over here again in like October, and then 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:28.520 I went over there in November, and then I went 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.280 over there again in January, okay, and I'm planning to 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:34.400 go over there again in September. 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.920 Okay. So it's been a so you guys are in 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:42.760 a committed relationship, yeah, yeah, okay, And so it's been 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:46.160 a back and forth thing over the course of how long. 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:51.880 It's been about it's been about soll June right now, 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:53.760 it's been about a little over a years since we 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:57.160 first met, a little like about eleven months since we 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:00.960 started dating. We have had like our issue choose every 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:04.520 every here and there because obviously like cultural differences and 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:08.480 a little bit of a language barrier. But for the 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:10.520 most part, like you know, we try our best to 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:11.520 work things out. 0:12:11.720 --> 0:12:13.560 What have what have been the issues that you guys 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:15.359 have had to work out? 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:25.160 Uh and uh okay. So basically, like she she's a 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:29.720 freelance worker, so she likes to like and obviously their 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:32.240 culture is a little bit different. So when it comes 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:35.760 to going out and like meeting different people, like staying 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:39.160 out late and drinking and all those other things, like 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:44.920 she does it pretty consistently. She's very She connects a 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:49.480 lot with like a lot of CEOs that are you know, 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.319 business owners and things like that, and she teaches them English, 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:56.360 and obviously like in return, they'll like like they'll go 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:58.880 out to like nice places to eat or you know, 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:03.400 they'll go golfing things like that. Sometimes she'll also travel 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.240 to like other countries and she kind of works as 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:10.960 like a translator of sorts, you know. But in order 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.720 to kind of maintain these relationships, Like you know, she'll 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.640 occasionally have to go like for with drinks for them, 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:21.160 or like for dinners and things like that. So I'm 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:21.880 a little. 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:27.439 Sense am I sensing? Am I sensing? Like, Oh, you're 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:28.720 a little fraid she'll cheat. 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:36.120 On you a little bit. And it's just very uncomfortable, 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:41.760 you know, because obviously they have like a hierarchy over there. 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:46.760 So like when she goes out, like she has to 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.800 pay attention to these people, right, she has to like 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:52.920 connect with them and you know, full undivided attention type things. Okay, 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.520 so she doesn't really have time to like be on 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:58.000 her phone because it would be seen as rude and 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:01.920 you're not, you know, not fully attentive. And then like 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:03.880 also once she'll go out to drink and there's like 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:08.640 a big group of them, they can't start leaving until 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:12.120 like the guy with like the highest hierarchy decides it's 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:16.760 like time to go. Yeah, you know. Yeah, So it's 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:20.520 it's a little bit in part of the cheating thing, 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.480 but I've kind of like moved past it. I go 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:25.720 to an actual therapist and we try to like talk 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:28.080 things through, and like he kind of gives me some tips, 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:32.840 and you know, I've gotten definitely a lot better, but 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:37.800 it still makes me a little bit uncomfortable. So yeah, 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:40.560 those are kind of the issues that that we kind 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:41.160 of run into. 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:47.840 Mmmm okay, okay, interesting has she has? What kind of 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:52.840 issues has she had with you? 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:58.520 Basically the that I would I would ask her like, hey, like, 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.560 if you're going out, like I would just kind of 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.120 like to know an idea of like it's when you're 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:06.760 coming home, Because there was a few times, like when 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:10.720 I was over there for three months, she would tell 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:12.600 me like, oh, yeah, I'd probably be home like around 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:15.080 one or two o'clock. So I'd stay up waiting for her, 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:17.760 and then it'd be like three o'clock and she still 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:22.000 wouldn't be home, and I'm just kind of like like, hey, like, 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:24.360 if we're going to be living together, like, it's kind 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:26.760 of something that i'd like to know. 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:27.080 Like. 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.640 So, she's very independent and and when I ask her 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:37.080 like just for like details and stuff like that, she 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:41.040 kind of takes it as controlling. I try not to be, 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:47.520 you know, but that's kind of how she she's takes 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:49.200 it a little bit. Yeah. 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:52.440 Yeah, I mean it sounds like you already worked through 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.120 these issues and stuff, and it's just like a retrospective thing. 0:15:55.760 --> 0:16:00.280 But you know, my feelings about that stuff is like 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:03.000 I don't know my feelings about that stuff, and maybe 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:05.760 this is this is how I feel about it. Is 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.200 like when you're in a relationship or something like that, 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:13.440 I feel like you just kind of like know in 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:19.840 your gut if the person you're dating really likes you 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.520 or not, you know what I mean. And I kind 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.840 of feel like if you know in your gut that 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:31.920 the person you're dating really loves you, like you can 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:37.080 say that for sure, then you're then then you're fine. 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:40.600 Then you know, let him fucking do whatever, you know, 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:42.880 not letting not like not I don't mean let him 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.440 fucking do whatever. But I mean, like if you know, 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:47.080 if you know that they love you, you know that 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:47.960 they love you, you know. 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:52.560 Yeah, And like I don't doubt that she loves me, 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:55.680 and I don't doubt my love towards her. It's just 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:00.120 it comes down to to me just kind of like 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:07.200 learning and accepting this different lifestyle because I'm not used 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:10.600 to things like that. Like I work a normal blue 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:13.280 collar job, you know, where I clock in, clock out, 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:17.240 go home. That's it. Yeah, A little boring to some people, 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.760 but she she loves to go out. She loves to 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.760 socialize with people, she loves to meet new people, and 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:28.240 she recently, I'll go out, I'll meet different people, but 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:32.119 I'm more of like introverted. She likes the more philosophical 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:36.080 aspect to people, like, oh, what made you you know, 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:38.280 what made you interested in your job? Like you know, 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:40.359 what do you do for a living? Like what was 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:42.240 it like growing up? And you know, things like that. 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.760 And for me, it's just kind of like, you know, 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:48.320 I'll meet people here and there, but it is what 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:51.239 it is. You know. I don't go out necessarily seeking it, 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:53.639 but if it happens, it happens. You know. 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:56.119 It's funny. I've been like thinking about this to myself 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:59.280 a lot lately, is like I think I think I'm 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:02.879 just talking about like I used to think I wanted 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:07.159 to date someone who was like similar to me, and 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:09.480 that because your girl, the way your way your girlfriend is, 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:11.840 you know, it feels like it's like kind of similar 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:13.320 to me. And I'm like I used to think I 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:15.720 want I want to date someone who's like like that, 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:19.000 but now I'm kind of thing like, oh, I think that, 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:21.760 and I'm curious what your perspective is on the other 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:23.520 end of this, because now I'm kind of like, oh, 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:27.760 I think I weirdly might enjoy being with someone who 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:32.480 is less like that just because I get so like then, 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:36.000 because then there just becomes like two of me, you know, 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:38.280 just in terms of like dating somebody who's like has 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:42.800 the same ish personality as you, do you feel like 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:44.639 do you feel like that's a good thing, like like 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:47.000 for you, Like do you feel like you like having 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:51.160 somebody who has like a kind of like complimentary personality 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:54.480 to yours, or or do you do you prefer people 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:58.080 who are more similar to you, like like not like 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:00.320 people were also introverted. 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:05.639 I would say that I really liked somebody that compliments you, 0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:08.080 because like, if it wasn't for her, like when I 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.840 was over there for three months, we had gone to 0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:14.600 Indonesia together, and like, if it wasn't for her, I 0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:17.720 would have never gone probably not yet obviously, I was 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.720 still trying to travel by myself and Japan was like 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:24.000 my first destination, but like she kind of pushed forward 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:27.760 and we did that together, and then I kind of actually, 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:30.440 when I was listening to your show a couple of 0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:32.359 years ago, you had to call her call in that 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:37.440 she had gone to a sensory deprivation thing, and when 0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:39.840 she had came here to America, I had taken her 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:42.879 to one of those, so like a more of a peaceful, 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:48.120 calm meditation thing. So I think that like finding somebody 0:19:48.119 --> 0:19:52.760 that compliments you, it's something I really like. So it's 0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:54.639 just taking a little bit of time kind of to 0:19:55.600 --> 0:19:57.879 adjust to it. And obviously I'm stepping out of my 0:19:57.960 --> 0:20:04.000 comfort zone. So it's very very difficult, and I mean, 0:20:05.080 --> 0:20:10.080 oh sorry, go ahead, Okay. When I was over there, 0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:13.520 she had introduced me to one of her students. He 0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:19.560 was a young, really successful business owner, and he had 0:20:19.600 --> 0:20:23.560 taken me to a really nice steakhouse. He had taken 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:25.960 me to like a hostess bar where he had met 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:32.800 his girlfriend, and he essentially paid for everything, and like, 0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:35.600 even though we couldn't really speak, we were kind of 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:37.800 like it was like a lot of gestures and stuff 0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:40.600 like when we were going out to different bars, when 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:42.639 we were going out to dinner and stuff like that, 0:20:42.640 --> 0:20:44.280 because it was me, him and his girlfriend. Like it 0:20:44.320 --> 0:20:48.000 was really nice, you know, meeting different people and experiencing 0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:51.119 like a different thing than what I'm used to so 0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:56.680 I could definitely like get used to that that kind 0:20:56.720 --> 0:21:00.000 of life. But like I said before, I don't necessarily 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:04.240 really seek it out either. Like, if that happens, it happens. 0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:08.040 So let's talk about this. You what you okay, you 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:13.560 live in the suburbs of Illinois. Yes, And what's going 0:21:13.640 --> 0:21:16.359 on in the suburbs of Illinois that you do not 0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:17.240 want to leave? 0:21:19.280 --> 0:21:25.960 Man, It's just I'm very I'm very well set, so 0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:28.480 to speak. I mean, like I said, I bought a 0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:33.120 house back in twenty seventeen. So my mortgage is I 0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:36.600 only owe like one hundred and fifteen thousand, and I've 0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:39.239 already paid off like ten years worth of it. So 0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:41.200 that means like my mortgage payment, I have like a 0:21:41.240 --> 0:21:44.400 four percent interest rate and I only pay about twelve 0:21:44.480 --> 0:21:48.520 hundred dollars a month. You know, like that's essentially unheard 0:21:48.560 --> 0:21:51.520 of for a four bedroom, two and a half bathroom. 0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:53.360 It's a townhouse, you know, with a too. 0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:55.639 Why do you know? Well, okay, well pause for a second. 0:21:55.800 --> 0:21:59.639 Wait several several questions, several questions, Yeah, go ahead, Okay, 0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:01.480 you're not married and you don't have kids. Why do 0:22:01.520 --> 0:22:03.320 you need a four bedroom house? 0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:09.080 Well, back when I was twenty years old. My mom 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.480 had essentially got in a settlement because she ended up 0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:15.760 getting herd at work. And at the time we were, 0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:22.280 we weren't in the best situation where she was. We 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:24.080 were living in like it was me, her and my brother. 0:22:24.119 --> 0:22:27.240 We were living in a two bedroom apartments. And when 0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:29.520 she got the settlement money, I had a pretty decent job, 0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:31.919 I had a good credit score, So she ended up 0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:34.880 like gifting me the money and we bought a townhouse. Now, 0:22:34.960 --> 0:22:36.840 if she were to come over here, obviously I saw 0:22:36.880 --> 0:22:39.399 the townhouse. We'd have extra money and then we can 0:22:39.480 --> 0:22:41.080 get a place of our own, and then my mom, 0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:43.240 you know, my brother can kind of go live with 0:22:43.280 --> 0:22:47.479 my sisters or something. But like, right now, I got 0:22:47.520 --> 0:22:50.400 a pretty decent house. Like I got a really good 0:22:50.440 --> 0:22:57.600 paying job, really good insurance, and it's I would love 0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:02.520 to leave, but like I would like to stay here 0:23:02.560 --> 0:23:05.000 for like a couple more years, but she's not really 0:23:05.040 --> 0:23:08.680 willing to come to America for for a long time. 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:12.040 Your girlfriend sounds like the kind of you know, it's funny, Yeah, 0:23:12.080 --> 0:23:16.720 your girlfriend sounds like the kind of person who would 0:23:18.080 --> 0:23:21.240 kill herself if she had to live in the suburbs 0:23:21.280 --> 0:23:23.800 of Illinois and then you sound like the kind of 0:23:23.800 --> 0:23:27.360 person that does not just up and move to Japan 0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:29.760 on a whim. 0:23:29.840 --> 0:23:35.280 Yeah, so that's kind of where we're Yeah, that's that's 0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:36.359 kind of the easty man. 0:23:36.600 --> 0:23:37.600