WEBVTT - Graham Norton 0:00:01.400 --> 0:00:04.440 There's been a dog snoring throughout most of this. Has 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:09.080 Douglas been snoring? Yes, I remember you did our podcast 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:10.560 and you were talking about your mom and it was 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:12.800 really moving and lovely, and then you could just hear 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:19.360 this just crying. He was so and I don't think 0:00:19.360 --> 0:00:21.440 it was empathy. I don't think he was going, oh, 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:25.360 miss driver, miss driver, speaking so movingly. I think he's 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:28.120 just thinking, I'm bored, I want to ut this room. Boy, 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:31.400 let me out. What's happening? Remember your word, brother, it's 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:34.080 so funny. I like dog interruptions very much. It seemed 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:40.559 quite disrespectful. I think that's entirely in keeping with like dogs. Hello, 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:45.279 I'm Mini Driver. Welcome to Many Questions Season two. I've 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:49.839 always loved Pruce's Questionnaire. It was originally a nineteenth century 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:53.159 parlor game where players would ask each other thirty five 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:57.680 questions aimed at revealing the other players true nature. It's 0:00:57.720 --> 0:01:01.520 just the scientific method really. In asking different people the 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:04.959 same set of questions, you can make observations about which 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:08.959 truths appeared to me universal. I love this discipline, and 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:11.840 it made me wonder, what if these questions were just 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.920 the jumping off point. What greater depths would be revealed 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:18.800 if I ask these questions as conversation starters with thought 0:01:18.880 --> 0:01:22.880 leaders and trailblazers across all these different disciplines. So I 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:26.000 adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven questions 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:28.800 that I personally think a pertinent to a person's story. 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.280 They are when and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:35.720 the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:39.520 or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you 0:01:39.560 --> 0:01:43.600 most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:46.360 you the most? What would be your last meal? And 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:49.040 can you tell me something in your life that's grown 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:52.480 out of a personal disaster. And I've gathered a group 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:57.000 of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.720 humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:03.000 may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:06.600 We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:10.920 their experience or the most surprising, or created the most 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:15.919 fertile ground to connect. My guest today is the polymorphous 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:21.119 wonder that is Graham Norton. Graham is perhaps best known 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.480 for his chat show The Graham Norton Show, for the 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:27.200 eight books he has written, for the radio shows he 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.079 presents in the UK, and on and on and on, 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:33.080 because the thing for me that makes him so known 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.720 is this extraordinary wit and spirit that just runs through 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:39.639 every single thing he does. I can't tell you how 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:41.919 many times I've been on his show over the years, 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:44.920 but it's quite a few. And I will tell you 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:48.799 that churches can really be a bit uphill, but I 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:52.600 long to go on his show because I have never 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:55.760 laughed so much in my life. After you've listened to 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:59.679 this episode of my podcast, please just google Funny race 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:03.160 Hall names the Graham Norton Show, and you will see 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:06.200 me genuinely crying with laughter at the hands of a 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:10.080 merciless Graham. It's quite hard to become a national treasure 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:14.080 in the UK, but Graham is one, and everyone knows it. 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:18.320 I always feel better for having talked to him, and 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:22.639 this interview right now proved to be no different at all. 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:29.440 Where and when were you happiest? I do know this, 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:31.800 but I always kind of think, I remember when I 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.600 was a kid, there was a Peanuts cartoon. I loved 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:37.000 Peanuts when I was a kid, but it's kind of 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:40.960 weirdly deep for kids. I think it's Charlie Brown and 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:44.040 Lucy maybe talking Charlie Brown, someone else talking, somebody saying, 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:48.800 you know, in every life, one day will be happier 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:51.200 than all the other days, and the other little child 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:54.240 is going yes, and then the first child goes, what 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:57.880 if you've had it? And as a child, you know, 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:01.280 that sort of blew me away because that's just seemed 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.200 the saddest thing in the world that if you're eleven 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:07.360 and you've had your happiest day, the rest of your 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:10.040 life is it lived out? Not as good as that. 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:13.000 So I think you've got to live your life assuming 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:16.720 your happiest days to come. I think that's very smart. 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:20.120 Oh my god, it's so existential Peanuts, isn't it. Yeah, 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:23.039 that is so deep for a little children's cartoon, And 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:26.480 it hit me to my core. That just seemed like 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:32.400 meaning of life, level of revelation. Happiest day might have happened. 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:35.599 The answer to your question is I had a wedding 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:39.320 weekend this summer in Ireland. Your wedding, my wedding is 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:41.400 my wedding. We got married already, but we had this 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:45.440 weekend and you know, there were party planners, and there 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:47.240 was this going to happen, This is going to happen. 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:50.120 People were flying in, but of course then the airports 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:53.440 were all messed up, COVID was still around. You know. 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:56.120 I picked these party planners basically out of the phone book. 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:58.240 So they're telling me, oh, yeah, we'll do this, and 0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:02.719 you're thinking, I hope you do, because I have no idea. Anyway, 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:06.120 the weekend could not have gone better. We got amazing 0:05:06.160 --> 0:05:10.640 whether the moment I was happiest was with my husband, 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:13.360 just as the party was drawing to the close on 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:17.480 the Sunday, where you know, we were surrounded by our friends. Still, 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:19.640 it was a beautiful night. The lights were all in 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:22.040 the trees, the music was playing, and it was just 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:24.960 I didn't need to worry about how the whole weekend 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:26.680 was going to go anymore. I didn't need to worry 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:30.160 about the catering, or the performers, or the weather or 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:35.080 people getting there. In that little probably fifteen minute, you know, 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:40.760 at the end, I could just be happy. In that 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:44.760 little tail end of all the anxiousness and the planning, 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:48.760 I felt supremely content and loved and loving and all 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:52.359 all those good things and all the anxiety and the 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:56.599 worry actually qualifies and probably has a huge amount to 0:05:56.600 --> 0:06:00.640 do with how happy you felt. Yes, actually, you're absolutely right. 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:02.599 It is a correlation. All the things that could have 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:05.360 gone wrong didn't. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if there are 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:07.599 people who when they die, I feel that they shually 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:10.239 went all the stuff is done. It's like, oh, phew, 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:13.960 you know, I'm night, and God, I don't have to 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.960 do another Christmas. On a different level, I see that 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:19.320 with people on my chat show all the time. What 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:21.480 do you mean at the very end they're really happy, Well, 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:24.800 they're kind of very happy, but also disappointed because they 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:28.400 were worried for the whole show. Sometimes I'll have, you know, 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.839 a newbe someone who's just doing their first movie or 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:33.919 their first single or whatever, and because I'm such an 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:38.080 old blag, I've been sat there for donkeys years and suddenly, really, oh, 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:40.960 you're really nervous, you know you kind of you just 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:42.799 want to hug them and kind of go, oh, really, 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.960 you shouldn't be nervous about this. Trust me, so many 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:48.599 words things are going to happen to you. This is 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:51.000 not one of them. This is one of the good things. 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:57.280 Trust me, nebe this highlight and I feel they were 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.239 worried for the whole show that was going to go wrong, 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:01.040 and they're going to say something stupid, or I was 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:03.080 going to ask them a weird question, or I was 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:05.479 going to make them look foolish, and then you see 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:06.920 them at the end kind of going, oh, I could 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.560 have just enjoyed that. I could have just let go 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.840 and enjoy that. And I wonder if people think that 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:15.320 on their deathbed, like, oh, I was such a fool. Well, 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:19.080 I worried about stains on my carpet when I could 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:21.880 have just been enjoying the coffee that I spilt on it. 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.360 You know, it's just that kind of approach to life 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:27.600 when someone who you've loved has died, has that thing 0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:31.920 become really really present for you, of oh my god, 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:34.160 I'm really am going to let go of worrying about 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:36.360 all of that stuff because I've just seen how quickly 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:40.040 this is over. Like there's a clarifying moment. I felt 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:43.920 that when Mom died so extraordinarily like, holy shit, I 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:48.400 am never thinking about that thing again. That probably lasted 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:51.280 for a minute. Yes, I agree with you. I think 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:54.400 grief and loss gives you exactly that word, the clarity 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:58.760 it gives you perspective, it goes again. I'm a years ago, 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:03.080 in my twenty I got mugged and stabbed and kind 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:05.440 of lost over half my blood and ended up in hospital. 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:08.240 But I remember when I was in hospital, and maybe 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:10.080 it was just the drugs I was on or something, 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:13.400 I don't know, but I just remembered feeling like I 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:19.600 knew everything. I felt like in that moment, having survived that, 0:08:20.200 --> 0:08:23.360 I felt like I could have you know, Palestine, Israel, 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.400 come sit by my bed. I will. I'll solve this 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:31.240 because I have this kind of huge wisdom. Like I said, 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.600 it was probably the drugs, but equally, I do think 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:38.920 there's something about extreme things like that, like grief, like 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:41.520 loss for a moment, as you say, like the window 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:45.360 shuts again. In that moment, you know everything, but you 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:47.920 remember this is so show biz. But remember when Kim 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:52.000 Catrall and Sarahisca Parker had the fuck Yeah, I remember 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:55.160 that burned into my memory. Serage Parker said something to 0:08:55.960 --> 0:09:00.200 about the brother yea, about her brother and Kim, you 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:02.880 were not my friend, and everyone's like, oh, that's been harsh, 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:05.600 and I just thought, no, that's a woman in grief totally, 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:08.360 that's a woman in grief going, oh, you know what, 0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:12.280 you fuck right out of this. Yes, it's the clarifier 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:15.000 you chop out the people that try to co opt 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.800 your brother's death for a tweet or whatever it was. 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:20.600 You respond with that clarity of emotion of like, I 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:25.480 have no time for this extraneous social contract bullshit nonsense. Yeah, 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:28.559 but I also feel like that does maybe just what 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:31.840 we said about the anxiety qualifying the happiness those moments 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:37.160 and that kind of intensity. When I remember it, I 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:39.839 feel the happiness on the other side of it. I 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:43.679 feel how it helped throw into relief what real happiness 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:45.520 looked like. That sitting on that beach in Cornwall in 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.360 the rain, when we all complained about the barbecue not lighting, 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:52.400 and my mom laughed because she had cring tonics in 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:56.840 funny enough, a snoopy, you know, small child's drink holder. 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:01.640 All that happiness, it's just more clearly defined by all 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:05.040 that worry or anxiety or angst around certain things. And 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:07.199 I'm I'm kind of fascinated by that. But that is 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:10.280 part of I suppose the fundamental duality of being alive. 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.280 It is, but also I think an extreme thing like that, 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:15.760 you know, all that whanging on, living in the moment, 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:18.160 whanging on. But you know what I mean, because it's 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:20.240 like all that whanging on and living at the moment, 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:23.200 I totally do. So, yes, we know, we all are 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:25.080 to live in the moment. Yeah, yeah, Well, you know what, 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.040 I've got a diary and there's things in it and 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:30.640 I'm planning. You know, you just can't. But in that moment, 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:35.320 in that profound moment of loss, you are entirely in 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:39.040 that moment, I think, where nothing else is going on. 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.960 It's just that. Yeah, every book that I'd read on 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:46.120 any kind of personal growth or philosophy or religion or 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:47.760 whatever I've read in my whole life, it was so 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:51.959 extraordinary in those moments. And by moments, I mean months 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:55.679 after Mom died. It's like I knew, I knew, just 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:59.400 as you said, weirdly, I knew everything. I knew all 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.120 of the thing, all of the things that mattered, all 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:04.840 the things that actually held meaning, all of the things 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.320 that I wanted to let go of. It was so 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:11.560 incredibly clear. There's an extraordinary gift in that. There's not 0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:14.160 much that's good about when your mom dies. And I 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:16.160 would only say that just in terms of like observing 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:18.920 stuff that happens. But I do believe in the clarifying 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:21.360 power of grief and the definition of happiness. I want 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.840 to see Gary Barlow from Take That, who if people 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:26.480 in America they may not know Take That. But he 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:28.280 was a you know, a young kid and a boy 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.960 band and then they disapparited a horrible time and they 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:34.000 came back and were successful. And he's doing this one 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.400 man show kind of a life and in the second 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:40.240 act he tells this really heartbreaking story about him and 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:42.840 his wife losing a baby. The baby is still born, 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:46.240 and it's so heartbreaking, it's very sad, everyone in the 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:49.680 audience sobbing. But he turns it into this positive. The 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:54.839 gift that that child gave him was perspective, and the 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:57.480 gift of that child gave him was being able to 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.360 say no to things, not you know, needing to please 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.439 people all the time. And that what you're talking about, 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:06.000 the happiness on the other side of something. I just 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:11.000 think that's what's that phrase, collateral beauty around awful things? 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:18.920 There is collateral beauty? Really tell me what relationship, real 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:24.240 or fictionalized, defines love for you? Oh, now it's fictional, 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:28.800 but it was profound when I watched it, and it's 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:32.280 still kind of profound because I think there's a kind 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:36.559 of a pureity to the love in this and it's 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:41.440 Elliott and et the love between those two, because so 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:44.680 much of it's unspoken, so much of it isn't thought 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:49.000 about or expressed or figured out, or you know, the 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:53.160 way in relationships there's a kind of a not a game, 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:54.959 but a kind of a dance, is sort of a 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:59.640 choreograph thing between you before you get to love and 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:05.800 staying in love. And there's something so pure about the 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:09.000 love between that little boy and the alien, and the 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:10.640 fact that you know one of them is an alien 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:14.200 makes it really lovely. And his heart lights up like 0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:17.520 a bedside lamp. You can't get better than that. I mean, 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:19.400 I love John. Oh, but if his heart lit up 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:21.120 like a bedside lamb, but I could read by it, 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.280 I would love it. If my boyfriend's he lit up 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:26.200 like I'd be like, oh God, keep that going. I 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:30.240 can turn my phone off. I'll just turn this way 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:35.600 downing hard on. Yeah, that's lovely, so like a camp fire. Oh. Also, 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:38.559 you know what's beautiful about Elliot and Eats relationship as well, 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:41.240 is that Elliott his love doesn't weive when he knows 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.280 has got to go. Yeah, he doesn't sort of stop 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:48.080 helping him, and it doesn't diminish the love. That notion 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.680 that one person is going to really lose out because 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:52.920 I don't think it would really think twice about Elliott 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:56.160 after he's gone back home, frankly, because home is obviously 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.560 his passion and what defines love for him. It's all 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:02.120 he talks about when he does staying. But also, isn't 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:06.440 there something about that? Because Et nearly dies, so Elliott 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:09.600 thinks he's lost Et, and then he comes back to life, 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.800 and then I think that allows Elliott to let him 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:15.360 go because it's so lovely that he's alive. I don't 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.640 care if you're alive and not living with me, but 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:20.720 I'm so happy you're alive. You're absolutely right, it's a 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:25.280 really beautiful, pure expression of unconditional love that relationship. I 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.200 think you should stop asking this question now because I 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:29.280 think I've given the proper answer. I think I've've solved 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:34.000 that question for you. I've solved for that across it off. Yeah, 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:52.120 it's Eliot and e t thank you, thank you, good night. Okay, 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:56.200 So what is the quality that you like least about yourself. 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:01.560 Compromise is a good thing, but I feel I'm a pushover. 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:06.000 I feel like I never really stand up for anything. 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:08.280 I kind of just go, ho, well, I just roll over. 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:10.800 There's a lot of rolling over, and I feel like 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.920 that's the thing the young me would judge me the 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:16.600 most harshly about. I think the young me would be 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:19.480 pleased that I was success and but I think the 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.000 young me would stare at me, going, what you're going 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:26.440 to do that? Or you know what? That's okay? Isn't 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.520 that like, you know, path of least resistance. Isn't that 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:32.640 like a whole kind of philosophy in itself? Isn't that 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:35.400 a really amazing thing that you do that? No, see, 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:37.600 I don't think it's admirable at all. I look at 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:40.320 people with conviction, and I am in all of them. 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:43.120 They are annoying, but I am in all of them. 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:46.600 That's really interesting. It happens in my personal life to 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:49.280 where you know, like there's a lot of inner monologue 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:54.120 about that shouldn't happen or that, but I just don't 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:58.120 say anything because it's it's easier, but it's not easier. 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.080 But I think it is easier. It's easy because it's 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:02.680 like the thing is that once you've done it once 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.000 and you realize the whole world didn't stop and this 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:07.560 guy didn't fall in and it was actually fine, I 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:10.440 think it must then become quite a delicious thing to do, 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:12.960 which is to maybe not take a position. It takes 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.240 a lot of energy to have conviction. It does. And 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:18.240 like I said, I am in all of those people. 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:20.320 You know, I feel like, you know that thing kind 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:23.280 of like, oh that was quite good, that's fine, that's 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:25.600 all right, And you've gotta think, oh, why can't something 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.840 be exceptional? Why can't something be really good? And I 0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:31.480 feel like I should aim a bit higher in all 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:36.400 parts of my life. But I don't find Jannah notice 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:39.280 about you? Oh no, no, he's my doing well, yeah, 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:42.760 he's my peak achievement. My husband is my peak achievement. 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:44.560 I think that's lovely. I do know what you mean. 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:46.880 But I'm just the complete opposite. I need to stop 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:49.920 trying to fight for everything and just getting exhausted and 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:53.440 disappointed as opposed to being pleasantly surprised when a few 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.520 things work out. There must be something in between, where 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.960 you know what battles are worth fighting. My boyfriends were 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:01.720 really good at that. He's like, I'm not going to 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:03.760 die on that hill. I am going to die on 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:05.399 that one. Except I'm not going to die. I'm going 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:07.520 to succeed. I'm going to plant my flag in the 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:09.520 top of that mountain and then he'll do it. It's 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:12.920 quite annoying. So maybe actually my worst quality is that 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:18.000 I'm just resentful of his good quality, of his good qualities. 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:20.600 My friends just moved into a new apartment and they're 0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:25.040 having trouble with the neighbor. There's an upstairs neighbor. All 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:28.840 these like angry emails going around, and my friend ended 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.520 one email with do not fight me, I will win. 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:39.320 Oh my god, that's fantastic. I love that way to 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:43.719 win over your neighbors. Do not fight me, I will win. Also, 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:48.280 that is a rookie era never moving anywhere with upstairs neighbors. 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:51.000 It's hard. I mean, one a nightmare for cool thing, 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:54.520 but stairs neighbors are terrible to neighbors. Essentially, basically being 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.640 in a neighbor sandwich is fucking dreadful. Yeah, I don't 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:00.040 know I would take that into extreme consideration, but have 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:02.600 a whole neighbor thing nightmare. I used to do like 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.200 an agony uncle column in a paper here, and I 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:07.720 did it for about eight years. And those are the 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:10.720 problems I dreaded when people wrote in about the neighbors, 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:14.760 because there is no solution. There's no solution except move, yeah, 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:17.439 move at Even then it's hard because if they're noisy 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:19.240 or whatever, it's hard to sell your house and blah 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:21.440 blah blah blah blah. Yeah, you have to disclose all 0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:23.920 of that stuff. Yeah, it's monsters. As if it weren't 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.440 hard enough trying to find a place to rent or 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:35.520 buy in this life. Now, what question would you most 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:39.080 like answered? I remember, and I'm sure all kids do this, 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.720 where you lie in the grass and look up and 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.680 you know the clouds move, but you think that's the 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:49.159 earth going and then you look beyond that into the 0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:51.800 blue and it's just that. Even as an adult you 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.480 stop thinking about it. But as a child, that is 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:57.720 such a kind of mind fuck. There must be a 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:00.160 there there, but there is no there there. It goes 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:02.600 on forever, new they can't go on forever. There has 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:04.520 to be you know. I still don't understand it. But 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:07.840 do I want that question answered? I mean no, because 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:09.600 I think it would bore the chasses out of me. 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:14.080 I think just like someone would start explaining to me 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:17.080 are placed in the cosmos or the concept of infinity, 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:23.680 and I would find myself slowly looking away. Oh there's 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:28.600 someone I know. I wonder what's for dinner? Was up 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:32.000 my phone? And that is the origin of the universe. 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:36.080 Cheese tasty? You know what. I'm just thinking. The one 0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:38.720 thing I would quite like to be able to do. 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:42.879 I would quite like to be able to read dogs minds. 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.920 I know they're probably quite easy to read, you know. 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:48.159 Can I fuck it? Can I eat it? But I 0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:54.399 couldn't scratch my tummy? There's that? Yes? And can I 0:19:54.480 --> 0:19:58.480 eat that hand? Or fuck it? I think there's some 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:01.440 subtlety going on in there's something else going on. So 0:20:01.560 --> 0:20:04.440 I would quite like someone to tell me what my 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:07.879 dog is thinking at all times. I really like that, 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:10.920 And that is a really true. Wait, can I tell you? Yes? 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:12.960 My dog ran away from me at this fair we 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:15.320 were at and I ran through the crowd and I 0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:17.720 found him with his paws on the shoulders of this 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:23.160 woman and she was like, oh, oh yeah, oh oh goodness. 0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:24.880 And I was like, oh my god, Oh my god. 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:27.119 My dog, and she was like, Hi, your dog was 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:29.200 just telling me a few things, like would you like 0:20:29.320 --> 0:20:31.119 me to tell you? And I was looking around, what 0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:33.560 is happening? Anyway? It turned out she was this really 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:37.080 famous pet psychic, and my dog told her. She said, 0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:39.240 you have to get his bed back from the garage. 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:42.199 And I'd literally got him a new bed the day 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:44.879 before and thrown out his old one, and it was 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:47.560 upstairs in the garage where I lived, waiting to be 0:20:47.720 --> 0:20:49.840 taken away. And he told her that. And then the 0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:51.440 other thing he told her was that my sister used 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:54.080 to take him to work and my dog had most 0:20:54.160 --> 0:20:56.440 of his tail missing from a terrible accident with the door, 0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.879 and my sister's boss used to call him stubborn. His 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:02.760 name was Bubba, and he used to call him stumpy Stubba, 0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:04.840 and he didn't like that, and he told the pets 0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:07.440 psychic to tell me to tell him to fucking stop 0:21:07.480 --> 0:21:11.760 calling him that. Wow, it was heaven. They couldn't have known. 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:13.359 She couldn't have known that. How could you have known 0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:15.240 that we had a pet psychic on the TV show 0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:18.240 years ago? And this woman she was literally from the 0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:21.919 audience and actually had a dog and the dog told 0:21:22.040 --> 0:21:25.480 the psychic that the woman needs to put carpet back 0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:28.440 in the bedroom because he can't jump on the bed 0:21:28.520 --> 0:21:31.119 anymore because he can't get purchased on the wooden floor. 0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:33.880 And the woman, I mean, you saw the one's face, 0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:36.159 she was just like Honestly, I think she thought we'd 0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:39.520 broken into her house and taking pictures or something, because 0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:42.560 she had just taken up the carpet and put in laminte. 0:21:42.880 --> 0:21:45.600 Oh my god, my god. And I also love the 0:21:45.640 --> 0:21:47.639 fact that dogs aren't like you know. I want you 0:21:47.720 --> 0:21:49.720 to teach me the secrets of the universe and take 0:21:49.800 --> 0:21:52.320 me on concorde. No. Have you seen that woman on 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:55.600 Instagram who thinks her dog can talk to her wait 0:21:55.640 --> 0:21:58.399