WEBVTT - Every Relationship Is an Assignment

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<v Speaker 1>You found your way here to waking up with Ryan.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so glad that you pushed play. This is the

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<v Speaker 1>place you and I come to wake up together. So

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<v Speaker 1>let's take a deep breath and begin Good morning, my love.

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<v Speaker 1>What if the person who has hurt you the most

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<v Speaker 1>actually signed up to play that role in your life.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that can be a really tough thing to

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<v Speaker 1>try to grasp. And I'm certainly not talking about the

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<v Speaker 1>people who have hurt you through some kind of abuse

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<v Speaker 1>or trauma. I'm more referring to the relational conflicts in

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<v Speaker 1>your life, the things that kind of push your buttons,

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<v Speaker 1>the people who ooh have made things really difficult for

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<v Speaker 1>you and been really confrontational for you. What if they

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<v Speaker 1>actually signed up to play that role in your life.

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<v Speaker 1>And I want to explore this idea by telling you

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<v Speaker 1>a little story. So I'd like for you to imagine

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<v Speaker 1>that before you came into this body, imagine that you

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<v Speaker 1>were a soul and that you were up in the skies,

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<v Speaker 1>up in the heavens, and you were ready to take

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<v Speaker 1>on a body and to take on a life. And

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<v Speaker 1>so before you can do so, you have to go

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<v Speaker 1>visit this amphitheater where there's all these souls sitting in

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<v Speaker 1>an audience, and the head angel brings you up onto

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<v Speaker 1>the stage in front of all of these souls and

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<v Speaker 1>says to the audience, who here loves this soul? You

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<v Speaker 1>and a bunch of hands raise in the audience, and

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<v Speaker 1>the head angel says, okay, pointing at the souls in

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<v Speaker 1>the audience. You are going to be his or her

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<v Speaker 1>or their first grade teacher, and you're going to be

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<v Speaker 1>their mom, and you're going to be their best friend

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<v Speaker 1>from kindergarten to eighth grade. And you're going to be

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<v Speaker 1>their nanny, and you're going to be their husband or

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<v Speaker 1>wife or partner or business partner. And all these assignments

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<v Speaker 1>get put out into the souls in the audience, and

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<v Speaker 1>then this head angel says, now, let's get serious. Who

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<v Speaker 1>here loves this soul? You the absolute most with all

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<v Speaker 1>of your heart? And soul, who here loves them the

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<v Speaker 1>absolute most? And three souls in the audience raise their hands,

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<v Speaker 1>and the head angel looks at them and says, you three,

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<v Speaker 1>you are going to be this soul's enemies. You're going

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<v Speaker 1>to be the people who make this soul's life the

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<v Speaker 1>most difficult because it is you who is going to

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<v Speaker 1>cause them most to grow in this lifetime, and then

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<v Speaker 1>you get born into this body completely forgetting that all

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<v Speaker 1>these relationships are assignments intended for the healing of both people,

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<v Speaker 1>and that even the people that take on the role

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<v Speaker 1>or the assignment as your most difficult people to deal

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<v Speaker 1>with in this life, even they have chosen to take

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<v Speaker 1>on an assignment that, even though it shows up in

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<v Speaker 1>your life, is something that can be so painful and

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<v Speaker 1>so difficult. It's their interaction in your life that is

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<v Speaker 1>causing friction, and it's that friction that is causing us

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<v Speaker 1>to grow and expand spiritually and ultimately to help us

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<v Speaker 1>remember who we really are. They are the people who

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<v Speaker 1>most push your buttons. And the thing that most of

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<v Speaker 1>us do until we really take our awakening process really seriously,

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<v Speaker 1>is when someone pushes our buttons, we kind of get

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<v Speaker 1>really focused on, like, why are you pushing my button?

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<v Speaker 1>And I wish you wouldn't push my button. Then I

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<v Speaker 1>go over there and then the button get pushed and

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<v Speaker 1>I look at them, why are you pushing this button?

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<v Speaker 1>I wish you wouldn't push this button. And then we

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<v Speaker 1>go over there and the button gets pushed and we

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<v Speaker 1>say again, why are you pushing my button? I wish

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<v Speaker 1>you wouldn't push my button. I want you to change

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<v Speaker 1>so that you won't keep pushing this button. But your

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<v Speaker 1>process of waking up to who you really are, your

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<v Speaker 1>spiritual journey, your healing process, comes from when your button

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<v Speaker 1>getting gets pushed. Instead of going out there and focusing

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<v Speaker 1>on them, going right here to the button and saying, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a button. If this button didn't exist for me,

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<v Speaker 1>it couldn't get pushed. And so what is it that

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<v Speaker 1>I need to do? What is it that I need

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<v Speaker 1>to bring up inside of me? What is it that

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<v Speaker 1>I need to heal and explore inside of me? So

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<v Speaker 1>that when the things happen that historically push this button,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not that it may hurt less, But if I

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<v Speaker 1>can focus on the button getting pushed, then I can

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<v Speaker 1>focus on the purpose of it getting pushed in the

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<v Speaker 1>first place, which is for the dynamics of my continued

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<v Speaker 1>healing and growth. So I'd like for us to just

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<v Speaker 1>do a short practice this morning, and if you can,

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<v Speaker 1>closing your eyes, if you're somewhere that you can, and

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<v Speaker 1>just bringing to mind the people in your life, whether

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<v Speaker 1>it's people who are in your life today or historically,

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<v Speaker 1>who have most pushed your buttons, ruffled your feathers, made

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<v Speaker 1>things difficult for you, brought up a lot of stuff

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<v Speaker 1>for you. The people that you've maybe historically perceived as

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<v Speaker 1>your enemies or your bullies, or yeah, the people who've

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<v Speaker 1>really hurt you. Just notice who comes to mind. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>take a couple deep breaths here, and I want to

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<v Speaker 1>recognize that what we're about to do next may feel

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<v Speaker 1>like a bit of a stretch. But what I'd like

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<v Speaker 1>for us to do for this short practice is actually

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<v Speaker 1>bring our hands together in the front of our heart

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<v Speaker 1>and just bow your head in gratitude. Dare I say,

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<v Speaker 1>in gratitude and reverence for those who have challenged you

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<v Speaker 1>most to grow, For the people who have disappointed you,

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<v Speaker 1>hurt you, let you down, even betrayed your confidence, or

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<v Speaker 1>the people you feel betrayed by that left you behind

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<v Speaker 1>on the journey, Just bowing to them in this recognition

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<v Speaker 1>that perhaps some bigger part of them, some soulful, bigger

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<v Speaker 1>part of them, has taken this role intentionally to actually

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<v Speaker 1>support you in your healing, whether it or I should say,

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<v Speaker 1>even though it doesn't look like it can relax our

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<v Speaker 1>hands to our lap and take a deep breath and

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<v Speaker 1>let it go. When you're ready, you can open your eyes.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to make sure that I share with you

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<v Speaker 1>that a practice like this or an acknowledgment like this

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<v Speaker 1>one doesn't mean that you're well coming these people back

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<v Speaker 1>into your life. As my teacher Mariyan Williamson says, I

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<v Speaker 1>forgive you, but give me my keys back. Right, forgiveness

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<v Speaker 1>and letting go is more about what you're doing for

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<v Speaker 1>your own self to free yourself from that consistent button

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<v Speaker 1>getting pushed, less about saying anything about what they have

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<v Speaker 1>or haven't done. Right, And so this is not about

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<v Speaker 1>turning ourselves into a doormat. It's actually about turning ourselves

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<v Speaker 1>into somebody who's developed the capacity to rise above, to

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<v Speaker 1>let go, to move on, and to recognize the bigger

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<v Speaker 1>picture of what's going on here in this life. Thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for going on this journey with me today. I

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<v Speaker 1>know it can ruffle feathers and be a tough one,

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<v Speaker 1>and even that is here for us to explore. Loving

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<v Speaker 1>you from right here always. Hi, I hope you're feeling

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<v Speaker 1>even just a little bit more prepared to take on

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<v Speaker 1>the day. But before you go, i'd love to hear

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<v Speaker 1>from you, and you can send me a voice note

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<v Speaker 1>by going to my website Waking Up with Ryan dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>Scroll down to the section that says send Ryan a

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<v Speaker 1>voice note. Tap the button to leave me a voice

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<v Speaker 1>message with a question you have, maybe a relationship challenge

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<v Speaker 1>you're having, or a spiritual hang up, some kind of

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<v Speaker 1>an emotional struggle, any topic that you'd love for me

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<v Speaker 1>to address on the podcast. I want to hear from you,

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<v Speaker 1>Loving you from here,