1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,959 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:23,240 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode. New listeners, old listeners, It's 6 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: so great to have you here, to have you back 7 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:36,839 Speaker 1: for another topic, one that I am really really excited for. 8 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: So today we are going to be discussing comparison and 9 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 1: the dangers of comparing ourselves to others, especially in our twenties. 10 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: I'm sure for many of you who are listening right now, 11 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: comparison is something that you may have dealt with quite 12 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: a bit. I am definitely the same. But today we 13 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: really want to dispel some of the negativity around it 14 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,039 Speaker 1: and talk about how it's actually a pretty normal human 15 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 1: behavior and there is a lot of psychology and science 16 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 1: that explains why it occurs. I think personally, comparison can 17 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,479 Speaker 1: be such an insidious and common cause of insecurity in 18 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: our twenties, and it can also undermine our self esteem, 19 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: our ability to focus on ourselves, our self worth, our 20 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: mental health in this decade. But it's also important to 21 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 1: note it can be an incredibly powerful source of motivation 22 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:36,320 Speaker 1: and inspiration to improve ourselves if we use it for 23 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: the right reasons. Of course, I think many times that 24 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: is not always the case. Comparison actually brings with it 25 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: a lot of negative impacts, and it can be really, 26 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: really difficult to break free from it, to stop comparing 27 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: ourselves to others, often because it has nothing to do 28 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: with them. It's us projecting and reflecting our own insecurities 29 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: onto the image of someone else. I think this is 30 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: especially common during this decade of our lives, when there 31 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: is so much opportunity to compare ourselves to others, so 32 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: much diversity and difference in our journeys and those of 33 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,519 Speaker 1: our peers and those around us. Our twenties are really 34 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: confusing decade for social comparison because I'm sure looking at 35 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: your own lives, you know you probably have friends who 36 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: are at very different stages. Some of us are traveling, 37 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: others of us having children and settling down. You know, 38 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: maybe you're still finishing your studies whilst your friends are 39 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 1: receiving promotions and buying houses. People are at so many 40 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: different stages in their journey, and that's always on the 41 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 1: micro or the local scale we have. You know, we 42 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: cannot talk about comparison. We can't have a discussion about 43 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: social comparison without talking about social media and the abundance 44 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: of potential. It gives us to be constantly comparing ourselves 45 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 1: to an idealized and artificial version of random people on 46 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: the internet. People we've never met celebrities at any time 47 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 1: of the day. At the mere opening of an app, 48 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: I really wanted to do this episode today because comparison 49 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: and constantly comparing myself to others has been a massive 50 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,239 Speaker 1: problem for me recently. I have not been able to 51 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: break away from it, but I have been doing some 52 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: things that I think might be helpful. I'll be honest. 53 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: It has definitely been exacerbated recently by the growth of 54 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: this show. It's an absolutely beautiful and wonderful gift, like 55 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: truly a blessing that this audience and this community of 56 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: listeners has grown so much in the past few months. 57 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: But on the flip side, I have also found myself 58 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: constantly comparing myself to other people in the field, to 59 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: other creators, whether I'm doing this right, whether I fit 60 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 1: the mold, who's doing it differently, who's doing it better, 61 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: I've definitely spent quite a few sleepless nights thinking about 62 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: these things and comparing myself to other people, other podcasters, 63 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: feeling like a failure, like I'm doing something wrong, and 64 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: undergoing all of these tiny micro comparisons between me and others, 65 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: and then also doing that in my daily life when 66 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 1: I walk down the street, when I interact with friends, 67 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,280 Speaker 1: when I go on social media, constantly thinking to myself, 68 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: am I as smart as they are? Why don't I 69 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: look like that person? Why haven't I achieved as much 70 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:32,919 Speaker 1: as them? Why do they have everything together and I don't. 71 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,920 Speaker 1: So here's the thing. Something that I've realized is that 72 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: no one's judgments are as strong and powerful and impactful 73 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 1: as our own. Our in twenties present this incredible opportunity, 74 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: this incredibly formative time, to intentionally break away from constant 75 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: comparison and allow ourselves to experience the freedom of caring 76 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: about fewer people's opinion and reflections. So today, let's break 77 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: down the psychology and the science behind social comparison. We're 78 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: going to discuss the foundations of social comparison, why it 79 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: is that we compare ourselves to others, even on an 80 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: unconscious level. The mechanisms behind which is influences our behavior, 81 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: as well as some of the consequences of unchecked comparison. 82 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: But of course this show is never going to be 83 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 1: a pity party. We're all about empowering ourselves to break 84 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:34,039 Speaker 1: out of negative patterns and behaviors and to understand the 85 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: psychology behind these behaviors. So I also want to talk 86 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,840 Speaker 1: about how it is that we can overcome social comparison 87 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 1: and be free of our own judgments and our own 88 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 1: comparisons with others. So buckle in, let's get into it. 89 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,280 Speaker 1: So I think a really great place to start is 90 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: to have provide an overview of what social comparison actually is. 91 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: So social comparison, it's a psychological concept, and it's the 92 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 1: act of comparing our abilities, our traits, our characteristics to others. 93 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: We often come to judge ourselves and interpret our own 94 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: self worth by evaluating our behaviors in comparison to others 95 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: to confirm whether we're doing the right thing, whether we 96 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: are doing a good job. Here's the thing. We constantly 97 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:41,799 Speaker 1: evaluate ourselves across so many different domains like attractiveness, wealth, success, intelligence, 98 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 1: The things that we have a tendency to actually define 99 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 1: our worth by especially in our twenties, when our identities 100 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 1: can be quite shaky and we navigate really massive life 101 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: transitions and a shift into adulthood. I found this a 102 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 1: really interesting study while I was looking into this concept 103 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: and looking into this episode, and it stated that as 104 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: much as ten percent of our thoughts, our everyday thoughts 105 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: involve a comparison of some kind, which is honestly kind 106 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 1: of horrific to think about. Right like ten percent of 107 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: our everyday thoughts involve some form of social comparison. No wonder, 108 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: we as a society are kind of defined in many 109 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: ways by our insecurities at the moment. I also think 110 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: the statistic is actually quite invaluable in some ways in 111 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: demonstrating that these thoughts, that social comparison might actually be 112 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: valuable in some way or another for it to be 113 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: occurring at such a high frequency. Here's the thing about comparison. 114 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: Though it's not a limited activity. It can honestly occur 115 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: across any domain of our lives that we deem as important, 116 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 1: from what we look like, our bodies, our achievements, our grades, 117 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: our performance at work to you, to things like how 118 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 1: many friends we have, the clothes we wear, our ambitions. 119 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: That is I think the most dangerous aspect of comparison. 120 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: It's not an isolated social phenomena. It's really wide reaching 121 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: and can impact us in any area of life in 122 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: which we might be insecure. Often it actually is the 123 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: very things that we are most insecure about that we 124 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: are most likely or more likely to compare ourselves to 125 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: others based on. That's because these attributes, these characteristics are 126 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 1: at the top of our mind. They are the things 127 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:44,439 Speaker 1: that consume us and that we want validation on. So, 128 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 1: for example, if you're really insecure about your career progression, 129 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: I know that's a really common one. You know, whether 130 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:56,559 Speaker 1: you're getting the right internships, whether you're pursuing the right opportunities, 131 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: whether you're going to be successful. Often that is the 132 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 1: first thing we're going to compare ourselves against when we 133 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: meet a new person, asking ourselves these almost implicit questions 134 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 1: of what is this person doing that I'm not, Where 135 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 1: do we stand in relation to each other, valuing their 136 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: successes compared to our own. This actually just makes the 137 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: insecurity worse right, and it can cause it to become 138 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: much larger and much more harmful. The more we feed 139 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,439 Speaker 1: the beast of social comparison. The more we feed our 140 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: insecurities by comparing ourselves to others, the bigger it gets, 141 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 1: the more fuel it needs to be satisfied, and the 142 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: more of our time and our energy and our self 143 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: esteem that it takes over. It can also lead to 144 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: a level of unhealthy competition between ourselves and others that 145 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: can actually sabotage potentially really positive and collaborative relationships. When 146 00:09:54,920 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: social comparison occurs, often our worth becomes centered and determined 147 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: on how we perceive others and how we perceive ourselves, 148 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: and the outcome of that unconscious comparison between us. We 149 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 1: no longer tend to view the people we meet, our peers, 150 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: our friends, as important contributors to our lives, but we 151 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: see them as a way to judge ourselves and more 152 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: often than not, to put ourselves down. So there are 153 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: actually two types of social comparison, and each of them 154 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: serve their own independent function. I would say so the 155 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: two types are upward and downward social comparison. Most of 156 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,440 Speaker 1: the instances of comparison we think about and when we 157 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 1: compare ourselves to others, and the ones that we've discussed 158 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: so far have somewhat of a negative outcome. Right, Like, 159 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: if we think about an example based in our material worth, 160 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: we might meet someone who is a lot wealthier than us, 161 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: who wears really nice clothes and has nice things, more possessions, 162 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 1: and we're going to look at that person and see 163 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 1: ourselves as less see ourselves as less worthwhile. And it's 164 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,439 Speaker 1: probably not going to make you feel particularly great about 165 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 1: yourself because this instance of social comparison has caused us 166 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: to establish almost like a temporary hierarchy with this other 167 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: person on the top and us on the bottom. And 168 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 1: this essentially leads us to the belief that we are 169 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: less accomplished, we are less successful, and in this instance, 170 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 1: in these instances, we end up feeling a sense of inadequacy, 171 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: We end up feeling a sense of really deep rooted dissatisfaction. 172 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: This is an instance of upwards social comparison. So we 173 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 1: compare ourselves to someone doing better than us in an 174 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: area of life. So, yes, I think this can create 175 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: some really negative feelings and reactions that we've discussed. You know, 176 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: it makes you feel inadequate, makes you feel shame, it 177 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: makes you fee you'll unfulfilled. But an important caveat is 178 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 1: that upwards social comparison can also motivate us towards self improvement. 179 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 1: It's not always a negative thing as we might see 180 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,440 Speaker 1: it as. When we meet people who we see as 181 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: better than us, as more accomplished, these people can actually 182 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 1: serve as examples from which we model our behavior and 183 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: inspire towards It's why having positive and successful role models 184 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 1: can be so important in our lives, because we inherently 185 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: compare ourselves to them, and then we perhaps attempt to 186 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 1: emulate their behaviors. This may give us the motivation to 187 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: address areas of our lives where we are naturally unsatisfied, 188 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: not because of social comparison, but because we innately know 189 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,560 Speaker 1: that we can do better for ourselves. That these people 190 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:55,839 Speaker 1: can provide us with a belief that we can be 191 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 1: a better version of ourselves. There is evidence that it 192 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 1: can be done that way. I think social comparison can 193 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: be really highly beneficial, especially when we use our social 194 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: networks to push ourselves. There was a study that was 195 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: done and it found that a level of friendly competition 196 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:18,560 Speaker 1: and friendly upwards social comparison was actually really effective in 197 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 1: pushing people to exercise more often and pushing people to 198 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: achieve more because when we see someone else doing really well, 199 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: it pushes us to keep up and to do more. 200 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:35,319 Speaker 1: It's known as the social racket effect. Each person's activity 201 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:40,560 Speaker 1: generates more activity amongst others. So social networks in which 202 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 1: people are offered opportunities to inspire each other and given 203 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: a healthy amount of competition, can actually be quite helpful. 204 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 1: The very existence and the act of upward comparison is 205 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:58,199 Speaker 1: this confirmation that we can achieve our dreams and our desires. 206 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 1: This links to the second type of social comparison. So 207 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: the second type is downward comparison. In this instance, you 208 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: compare yourself to someone who is worse off than you. 209 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 1: In this case, this form of social comparison can contribute 210 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: to almost a spike in our self esteem, which can 211 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: initially make us feel better about ourselves. Right, Like if 212 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 1: we meet someone and we look at them and we're like, oh, 213 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: I'm probably better than that person. Of course you're going 214 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: to feel great, right, But this can also contribute to 215 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 1: a level of arrogance and a level of overconfidence, as 216 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 1: well as probably making us a little bit unbearable. It's 217 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 1: also worth asking yourself, do you really want to be 218 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 1: the person who only feels good about themselves and secure 219 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: about themselves if they're surrounded by people they perceived as 220 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 1: being not as good as them, as being worse off 221 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 1: or not as successful or talented. Do you really want 222 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: to derive your self confidence from inherently and unconsciously bringing 223 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 1: others doubt so that you can feel better. So. Although 224 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: we have discussed how social comparison can at times be 225 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 1: a tool for self growth and can also impact our 226 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 1: self esteem, especially in downward social comparison, when we're comparing 227 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 1: ourselves to someone who we see is less successful or 228 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: worse off than us, another element of this act of 229 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 1: constantly comparing our lives to others, whether we know that 230 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 1: person or not, is that social comparison and the measures 231 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 1: by which we compare ourselves to others are often really unrealistic. 232 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:40,400 Speaker 1: We're not very good at being unbiased judges of things 233 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 1: and seeing things objectively. Every instance of comparison, every time 234 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: you look at someone and you think, oh, I'm not 235 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: as good as them, or you look at someone and think, oh, 236 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: I'm better than them, each of these judgments is in 237 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: some way influenced by our own beliefs and our beliefs 238 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: about the world we are in each of our own 239 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: ways a pretty biased judge. So, for example, say you're 240 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: engaging in downward social comparison with a friend, You've compared 241 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 1: yourself to them, almost unconsciously, and believe in some way 242 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 1: that perhaps you're more intelligent, that you're smarter than them. 243 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: That judgment is entirely based on your view of the situation, 244 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 1: and it's probably not very accurate. We don't really have 245 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 1: any real way of knowing that for certain. We don't 246 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: know the contents of this person's mind. We don't know 247 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: how they solve problems, the way they think, the books 248 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 1: they read, the discussions they have. We're basing that judgment 249 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: off of our own limited knowledge of a situation, and 250 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 1: most of the time we tend to get it wrong. 251 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: This also works in the opposite direction, right when we're 252 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: comparing ourselves to others and feel like we're lesser or 253 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: not as accomplished, or not as good, we actually don't 254 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: know that. Yes, there are obviously external indicators of success, 255 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: but most of the time, when we are comparing ourselves 256 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 1: to others, that is just a reflection of what we're 257 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,680 Speaker 1: and secure about. It's a projection of our own fear, 258 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: our own fears and insecurities, it's important to remind ourselves 259 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 1: social comparison is not the truth, It is not completely factual. 260 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,679 Speaker 1: It's based on our own perception of others and our 261 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,199 Speaker 1: own perception of ourselves. So why does this happen? What 262 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 1: is it about social comparison that makes the habit so 263 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:39,360 Speaker 1: hard to break? Well, that's our crucial question for the day, right, 264 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: why does this happen? Why do we find ourselves in 265 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 1: this constant cycle of social comparison for better or for worse. 266 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: While social psychology can actually explain quite a bit of 267 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 1: this social comparison is toxic and dangerous as it can 268 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: be when it's out of control, it's actually a fairly 269 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,640 Speaker 1: normal behavioral strategy that we use to to understand our 270 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,880 Speaker 1: social standing, our status, and to mediate and control our 271 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: behaviors to be appropriate. So when we compare ourselves to 272 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: others to understand our behavior, we also get a sense 273 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: of gauging how we're doing in life and whether we 274 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 1: are fitting in, and this has an evolutionary function. We 275 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: want to remain part of the in group, We want 276 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 1: to remain part of the pack, part of the tribe, 277 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: and a way that we do this is compare ourselves 278 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 1: to other members of a similar group and judge our 279 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 1: behavior to see if we're fitting in how we're doing, 280 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,919 Speaker 1: if we're meeting the social norms and the social mold. 281 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: Although it may feel like it social comparison, it's not 282 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 1: done at random. Think about when you're on the train 283 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,679 Speaker 1: or at the airport. You're not comparing yourself to the 284 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 1: sixty year old man with a wife and children. Often 285 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,679 Speaker 1: you're comparing yourself to people of your own age, people 286 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 1: of a similar type and characteristic to you in some way. 287 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: That's because we tend to compare ourselves to people that 288 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 1: have similar attributes that are close to our own. The 289 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 1: more similarities we have with people, the worse our level 290 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 1: of social comparison is likely to be, and ultimately the 291 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 1: more useful our minds might find that. I'm just going 292 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,440 Speaker 1: to break that down a little bit more so. There's 293 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 1: no point comparing yourself to someone who's thirty forty years 294 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,360 Speaker 1: older than you, because the way that they act might 295 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 1: not be the way that you should act. The way 296 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: that they are what they're doing might not be what 297 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:37,479 Speaker 1: you should be doing. So instead, our brains get us 298 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 1: to compare ourselves to people who are more similar to us, 299 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 1: because our brains from an evolutionary perspective, find that information 300 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 1: more valuable. I think it's important, though, to bring us 301 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 1: back to reality here and reiterate what we were speaking 302 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 1: about before, which is that our judgments, no matter how 303 00:19:55,720 --> 00:20:02,280 Speaker 1: inherent they are, no matter how biologically or evolutionarily natural, 304 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:06,439 Speaker 1: they may feel, they're actually incredibly flawed and they're not 305 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,359 Speaker 1: based on the whole truth. When we're unable to recognize this, 306 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,120 Speaker 1: when we're unable to realize that we are quite biased, 307 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: and we use social comparison as a means to bring 308 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: ourselves down, we can fall into that cycle, that spiral 309 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 1: of never feeling good enough, never feeling like we fit 310 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,359 Speaker 1: in or that we have value compared to other people 311 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,400 Speaker 1: in our lives. This is one of the less helpful 312 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: aspects of social comparison, the ones we often recognize. That's 313 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 1: when they rear their head, the impact of social comparison. 314 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: It's obviously going to vary based on what insecurity it's 315 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 1: playing into, but mainly what we end up seeing is 316 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: a sense of shame, a lower self esteem, fewer positive 317 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 1: statements about ourselves, negative language towards ourselves, and a sense 318 00:20:56,040 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: that we need to conform or change about ourselves, often 319 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:06,200 Speaker 1: in a drastic way. It's really exhausting, I will say, 320 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 1: it's really exhausting spending our waking hours comparing ourselves to 321 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: others and performing this mental calculation about where we stand 322 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: about who's doing things better than us. Yeah, it's really 323 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 1: tiring and it can be really hard to break out of. 324 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: I mentioned this at the beginning, but I do believe, 325 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,160 Speaker 1: and a lot of the research confirms as well, that 326 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,400 Speaker 1: this is often made worse by the prominence of social 327 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 1: media social comparison. It becomes unavoidable in this environment and 328 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:44,919 Speaker 1: even more severe and unrealistic because when we post on 329 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:49,479 Speaker 1: social media, we're performing for an audience. We're putting forward 330 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:54,160 Speaker 1: an idealized and fake version of our lives. I feel 331 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 1: like I don't need to say that social media is 332 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 1: not real life, right like most of us know that, 333 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,040 Speaker 1: but it can be really hard to remember that consciously, 334 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: especially when we are constantly exposed to this almost like 335 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: torrential flooding of information around and beautiful bodies and perfect lives. 336 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: It's really hard to remind ourselves that that's not real. 337 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 1: No one sees the tears behind what is maybe a 338 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:25,439 Speaker 1: perfect relationship, or the insecurity behind someone's dream body or 339 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 1: someone's successful future. No one sees the hard work, No 340 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 1: one sees the sacrifice, No one sees the hard, hard days. 341 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,920 Speaker 1: All we are seeing is the highlight reel. But our 342 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:40,119 Speaker 1: brains they're not very good at being realistic about that 343 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 1: and acknowledging it. Recent studies have shown that social media 344 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: really encourages unhelpful social comparison, particularly upward social comparison, and 345 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 1: it can reduce our overall self esteem. But being educated 346 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 1: about how this process occurs, why it is that we 347 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: compare and contrast ourselves to others and consciously noting when 348 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 1: we find ourselves slipping into unhelpful comparisons can be incredibly 349 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 1: useful and incredibly powerful. So let's discuss how we can 350 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 1: kind of break away from social comparison and use it 351 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 1: for good. Leverage this behavior and this mental activity to 352 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,640 Speaker 1: inspire us rather than bring us down. So these next 353 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,639 Speaker 1: few kind of like lessons, I guess, or activities. There 354 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: are things that I've personally done recently, especially as I've 355 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: been struggling quite a bit with social comparison. These are 356 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 1: just things that have helped me that the evidence suggests 357 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:45,359 Speaker 1: might help you as well. Especially as someone in my 358 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:49,600 Speaker 1: twenties who's witnessing so many people at various stages in 359 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 1: their lives, it's important to remind myself really gently that 360 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 1: the story isn't over. This is not my final destination. 361 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: This is not your final destination either. When I compare 362 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,199 Speaker 1: myselves to others, what I'm really doing is comparing a 363 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: point in my journey with a completely different point in 364 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:14,439 Speaker 1: someone else's journey, and often my assessment of that situation 365 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:18,680 Speaker 1: isn't entirely accurate. I have no way of knowing what's 366 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: going on behind the scenes, the stress, the insecurities that 367 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,240 Speaker 1: someone may be dealing with. All I can do is 368 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 1: kind of focus on myself. It might even be that 369 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 1: this person is looking at me or at you and 370 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,520 Speaker 1: thinking that you've got it all together. The only thing 371 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 1: we can really focus on is how we feel and 372 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: how we behave and whether we're happy and satisfied. That 373 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 1: is the only thing within our control, not their actions, 374 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: not someone else's successes, not someone else's traits or attitudes. 375 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,680 Speaker 1: I think you're allowed to be selfish when it comes 376 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 1: to this and say, you know, I come first, Like 377 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 1: I am allowed to feel good about myself, I'm allowed 378 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: to feel valuable, and I think it's also important to 379 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: acknowledge that statement from before. Often the things we compare 380 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 1: ourselves based on really a projection of our own unhealed insecurities. 381 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: So taking time to really decipher why it is that 382 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,159 Speaker 1: you feel the need to compare yourself on these attributes 383 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,199 Speaker 1: rather than seeing the whole picture is going to be 384 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 1: really valuable. Allowing yourself to see yourself as a valuable 385 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,919 Speaker 1: person that you have strengths. Our twenties are an important 386 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: time to develop self awareness, and we can leverage this 387 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 1: insane cognitive growth that we're going to to participate in 388 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,400 Speaker 1: some of the hard work and on some of our 389 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:50,360 Speaker 1: deeply rooted insecurities. Also, sometimes you just need to call 390 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:54,199 Speaker 1: yourself out, particularly when you're engaging and downward social comparison 391 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,160 Speaker 1: and diminishing your own self worth. Focus on your strengths, 392 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,760 Speaker 1: write them down, use comparison as a source of inspiration. 393 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,400 Speaker 1: Instead of seeing people as a competition, think about what 394 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 1: they can teach you, what it is about their life 395 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 1: that you find inspiring, that you find desirable. I think 396 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 1: if you find a particular person or a particular profile 397 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 1: as well across social media can be a trigger for 398 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,760 Speaker 1: you or a source of negative social comparison. There's a 399 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: really easy way to get rid of that constant kind 400 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 1: of sense of contrasting and judging your actions, and that's 401 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,280 Speaker 1: just to cull time to get rid of them. Life 402 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:40,680 Speaker 1: is too short and we certainly don't need any more 403 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: reasons to bring ourselves down. Make a conscious decision to 404 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: create an environment, whether it is online or in person, 405 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: that makes you feel valid, It makes you feel worthwhile. 406 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 1: If there's someone on social media who is like gorgeous 407 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 1: and you're constantly looking at bikini photos or photos of 408 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: their life or photos of or the travels and feeling 409 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 1: bad about yourself, like, you actually have a choice to 410 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 1: not expose yourself to that, And if that's going to 411 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: help you, you should do it. You really should, Like 412 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: there's no reason to feel ashamed. Like, if it's something 413 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 1: that upsets you, I think it's well within your rights 414 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,680 Speaker 1: to kind of limit your exposure to it. The other 415 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 1: thing I've done recently was I stopped focusing on my 416 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: own personal attributes so much, and I focused on the 417 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 1: other amazing things in my life. I focused on practicing gratitude. 418 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,119 Speaker 1: I know it sounds a bit wishy washy, but my 419 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:36,719 Speaker 1: really good friend Zoe see, she actually suggested this to 420 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 1: me about a year ago, this amazing tip when I 421 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: was going through a really rough time, and the amount 422 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,879 Speaker 1: of different elements of my life that it's helped me 423 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 1: with it's actually ridiculous. I tell everyone to do this 424 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: every day before you go to bed. We all have 425 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 1: two minutes, just two minutes, to list five things you're 426 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: grateful for. I know I've mentioned this in so many episodes, 427 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 1: but I'm going to keep saying it because it's such 428 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,919 Speaker 1: a game changer. No matter how harsh you've been on 429 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: yourself that day, you can always find just five things 430 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,200 Speaker 1: that bring you joy, and it allows you to stop 431 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:18,840 Speaker 1: being so internally focused and concentrate on what you have 432 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: rather than what you're lacking. Commit yourself to this practice, like, really, 433 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: just give it a go. You have nothing to lose. 434 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,160 Speaker 1: I promise you. It's such a game changer. And these 435 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 1: are just some of the things that have really worked 436 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,359 Speaker 1: for me, And if you want to give them a try, 437 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: I would really recommend it. Please also contribute your own 438 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,640 Speaker 1: share your own thoughts on this. I think it's so 439 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: valuable to acknowledge how common it is in our twenties 440 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 1: to compare ourselves to others, to think we're not doing enough, 441 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,400 Speaker 1: to think we're not good enough. But we can always 442 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 1: refocus this comparison and use it as a strength, use 443 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:58,200 Speaker 1: it for motivation, to embrace the competition, to inspire us. 444 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,240 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to this episode a 445 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 1: bit shorter than usual, I know, but I thought we'd 446 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 1: keep it short and sweet. It was so interesting to 447 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 1: research this. Like I'm being quite honest, this has been 448 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,960 Speaker 1: really something on my mind recently. It's really kind of 449 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 1: in something I've been struggling with, So I found it 450 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 1: really valuable to understand why it is that it happens, 451 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 1: and to kind of stop beating myself up about it 452 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 1: because it is unconscious. It is really really normal. I 453 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 1: hope that's something you brought away from this episode. And 454 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 1: if you are dealing with social comparison, if you're finding 455 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 1: yourself comparing yourself to others, you're not alone. I promise 456 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,040 Speaker 1: You're in a boat with many other people. If you 457 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,400 Speaker 1: know the studies are right, probably everyone, everyone is doing 458 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 1: this every moment of their lives. So you're a valuable person. 459 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,280 Speaker 1: You are a worthwhile person, and you are doing great things, 460 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 1: so thank you for listening as well. I guess if 461 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 1: you've made it this far, and if you enjoyed this episode, 462 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 1: if you found it valuable Plea, feel free to leave 463 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,480 Speaker 1: it a five star review if you feel called to 464 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 1: do so on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you are listening. 465 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 1: Make sure to follow if you'd like to, and give 466 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: us a follow on Instagram as well. At that Psychology Podcast, 467 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 1: I often put up like some little polls every now 468 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 1: and again for the audience to decide what to listen to. 469 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: So if that's something you'd like to contribute to, you 470 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,200 Speaker 1: have the option, and thank you again for listening. We 471 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 1: will be back next week with a new episode.