WEBVTT - “MY MOM HATES MY POLY LIFESTYLE” 

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hello, Hi, Hello, Hi, hey, hi hello Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>How's it going?

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<v Speaker 1>When I was? How old was I? Maybe? Did you

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<v Speaker 1>ever use AIM?

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely?

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<v Speaker 1>How old? Can I see how old you are?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I'm thirty?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, so you've used AIM? I like, I used

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<v Speaker 1>to have a lot of conversations that just went like, hey, yeah, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>what's up?

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<v Speaker 2>Forever no substance, n m JC.

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<v Speaker 1>Cool, you know, and they're all gone. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>where my AIM chats are. I don't know if there's

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<v Speaker 1>still I don't think I can still log into AIM.

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<v Speaker 1>My I'm trying to remember what my my childhood, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>like you know, we all had like like stupid emails.

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<v Speaker 1>Mine was doctor Worm forty five at gmail dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow, it like, where did the forty five come from?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know where the forty five came from? But

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<v Speaker 1>do you know where the do you know where the

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<v Speaker 1>doctor worm came from?

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<v Speaker 2>No? Okay, it was I was just more interested than

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<v Speaker 2>the forty five, I guess.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the forty five is more mysterious. The doctor worm

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<v Speaker 1>is a little bit more. Well, there's a they might

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<v Speaker 1>do you know what the band they might be Giants. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>they have a song called doctor Worm and it's about

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<v Speaker 1>a worm who's a doctor that plays the drums. And

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<v Speaker 1>I liked that song, so I might doctor worm. What

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<v Speaker 1>was yours? What was your childhood email?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was KitKat like the candy QT the letters

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<v Speaker 2>then nine to five, which is the year I was born.

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<v Speaker 1>KitKat qtie. That's good. That's a good I'm honestly, I

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<v Speaker 1>am genuinely surprised that that wasn't taken KitKat Q.

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<v Speaker 2>But I added ninety five to it, So KitKat qt

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<v Speaker 2>probably was kim.

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<v Speaker 1>But of all the thirty, of all the however old

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<v Speaker 1>you were at the time, twelve year olds? True, that

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<v Speaker 1>would probably because everyone puts now the forty five isn't

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<v Speaker 1>isn't the year I was born? That would make me

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<v Speaker 1>eighty eight years old? That would make me eighty years old.

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<v Speaker 1>But uh, I'm surprised that wasn't taken. That's a good one.

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<v Speaker 1>Kick kat qt ninety five.

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<v Speaker 2>It's all right, it is. It is not as embarrassing

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<v Speaker 2>as it could have been.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I wonder if by talking about this on

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast will get emails to people.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm connecting too, Yeah, Illy, As soon as I

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<v Speaker 2>said it, Yeah, as soon as you asked, I was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I better give the crappy one so that if I

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<v Speaker 2>get emails it doesn't matter.

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<v Speaker 1>What is your name?

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<v Speaker 2>Cat Kat?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you tell me that already? No? Okay, good, I

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<v Speaker 1>think I'm losing my mind. Actually I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you're not.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>You're good.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually, I actually I mean this. I feel very sane

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<v Speaker 1>in this moment. I feel awesome. I feel good. How

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<v Speaker 1>do you feel? Do you feel sane in this moment?

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<v Speaker 2>I feel I'll be honest, it's a little surreal. I've

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<v Speaker 2>been trying to call you for a few days and

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<v Speaker 2>actually knew that today would be the day that we talk,

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<v Speaker 2>but still tried, you know, the past couple of days.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm just still a little bit reeling that you

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<v Speaker 2>actually answered two questions.

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<v Speaker 1>One have we ever spoken before?

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<v Speaker 2>We have never spoken before.

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<v Speaker 1>And then two, how did you know that today was

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<v Speaker 1>going to be the day?

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<v Speaker 2>I hate to say it, but it was just a feeling,

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<v Speaker 2>just a gut feeling. I have been having some life

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<v Speaker 2>stuff going on, and today I am chilling at the hospital.

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<v Speaker 2>My brother's getting discharged, and it's just a good day

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<v Speaker 2>to be on the phone.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you are you typically correct in your gut feelings,

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<v Speaker 1>like have they have your premonitions typically came true.

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<v Speaker 2>Man, that's a good question. I'm gonna say no, because

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<v Speaker 2>I texted you a few days ago and was like,

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<v Speaker 2>today's the day we're going to talk, and then we didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>But upon further inspection, it was not the day we

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<v Speaker 2>were going to talk. I just knew that we were

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<v Speaker 2>going to talk at this season of my life where

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going through this stuff with my family.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it is kind of funny because if you're yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it is kind of funny because like if you every

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<v Speaker 1>single day go today is the day, you'll eventually be right.

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<v Speaker 2>So exactly, you know, And that's kind of how I

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<v Speaker 2>was feeling. I was like, you know what, today's the day,

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<v Speaker 2>Today's the day. And then eventually it was right, And

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<v Speaker 2>now I can be satisfied that I called I made

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<v Speaker 2>it in. Today's the day.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, or you won't. Sometimes sometimes you'll say to day

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<v Speaker 1>is the day, and it will never be your day.

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<v Speaker 1>You know that. It's like kind that It's like, friends,

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<v Speaker 1>hasn't been your day, your week, your month, your year,

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<v Speaker 1>your decade, you're century you'r if I guess if the

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<v Speaker 1>soul exists beyond death. What would you call that? That's

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<v Speaker 1>not a lifetime? What's like, what's like a step above

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<v Speaker 1>a lifetime?

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<v Speaker 2>M wow, great question. Oh gosh, like a soul cycle.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it hasn't been your soul cycle. But if that

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<v Speaker 1>was in the Friends theme song, people would be like, this.

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<v Speaker 2>Is too woo for Definitely it would not have been

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<v Speaker 2>the Friend's theme song had it talked about soul cycles.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that would be too much. Well, you know, listen,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll be fully honest with you. Is I think I've been?

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<v Speaker 1>I just yeah, I don't know, just to like set

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<v Speaker 1>a context for me personally. Is I think I've been? Yesterday?

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<v Speaker 1>I think I tried to record this podcast yesterday and

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<v Speaker 1>I was.

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<v Speaker 2>I listened yesterday and yesterday and I was like, wow,

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<v Speaker 2>this is not He's going to try again tomorrow and

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<v Speaker 2>we're going to talk tomorrow and it'll be better.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, I I there's a thing when I record this,

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<v Speaker 1>I I by the way, I promise, I promise. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not going to just talk about myself this whole time,

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<v Speaker 1>but I just gotta get this stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you're fine, I'm this is great.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that I tried to There's like I've been doing

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<v Speaker 1>this for five years now, and and there is uh several, several, several,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe even hundreds of times where I've sat down to

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<v Speaker 1>try to record this podcast and I am I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>feeling it, and I'm not in the right physical or

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<v Speaker 1>mental existence to do it. And yesterday was one of

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<v Speaker 1>those days. And you were there, you saw it, you

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<v Speaker 1>saw it on the twitch stream. Yeah, but today, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know if the vibe ance is kicking. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if it's the fact that it's noon and not

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<v Speaker 1>nine pm. But yeah, I'm ready to uh yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>I'm hit me with whatever you got, let's get Let's

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<v Speaker 1>give it. I will give Let's give this a try,

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<v Speaker 1>Let's give this conversation our best try on both ends,

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<v Speaker 1>and see what the fuck happens. So what's up, kat So?

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<v Speaker 2>I am in Maryland. I am not from Maryland, but

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<v Speaker 2>my parents and my little brother live here. And my

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<v Speaker 2>little brother is like incredibly medically complex. Do later if

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<v Speaker 2>you want, but he was hospitalized for an infection and

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<v Speaker 2>is getting out today, which is amazing. But I came

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<v Speaker 2>to visit him, and this is the first time that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm seeing my mom since we got in a huge

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<v Speaker 2>fight at Christmas.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, so I'm like, awesome that I get to see

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<v Speaker 2>my brother, and I just have a lot of anxiety

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<v Speaker 2>in my body because this is the first time since

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<v Speaker 2>then that I'm seeing everybody.

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<v Speaker 1>And everybody is your mom and your brother, is anyone else?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, my mom, my stepdad, and my brother.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you cool with your stepdad?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're cool.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I ask what was the fight about?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you can ask for sure. You know, it was

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<v Speaker 2>like a culmination of a lot of things. I want

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<v Speaker 2>to say it was about the basement flooding, and I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't like jump up to help right away, but really

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<v Speaker 2>it was about my mom not feeling cared for in

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<v Speaker 2>our relationship and feeling like, ever since I chose this

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<v Speaker 2>polyamorous lifestyle, that I don't have room in my life

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<v Speaker 2>for her. While simultaneously I am dealing with like, I

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<v Speaker 2>have a lot of insecurities about my life choices and

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<v Speaker 2>things that I think that my mom would disapprove of,

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<v Speaker 2>and so when she tells me that she does indeed disapprove,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just like, Okay, I don't want to sit here

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<v Speaker 2>and like tell you that it's okay and convince you

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<v Speaker 2>that it's okay. Because I already did that for myself.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have the bandwidth to do it for you too.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's a that's a very introspective. Uh. You went

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<v Speaker 1>from it was about the basement flooding too, it was

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<v Speaker 1>about all these deeper things.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think the basement flooding was just the catalyst

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<v Speaker 2>to get us yelling at each other, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, it's no, it's never just about the basement.

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<v Speaker 1>It's never just about the fucking the way ever stupid thing.

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<v Speaker 1>But so you said, it's about your mom doesn't feel

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<v Speaker 1>cared for enough.

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<v Speaker 2>I think so. And I'm putting words into her mouth

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<v Speaker 2>because I've been avoiding the conversation, so we haven't had

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<v Speaker 2>like the direct conversation. But if I could project and

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<v Speaker 2>read her mind a little bit, it's that like, well, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So to give you even more context, in twenty twenty,

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<v Speaker 2>my husband passed away and my mom like came up

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<v Speaker 2>to Chicago to live with me for several weeks and

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<v Speaker 2>like really helped me, took care of me. And then

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<v Speaker 2>that's been five years and I have grown and gone

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<v Speaker 2>through a lot of therapy and made new friends and

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<v Speaker 2>have new partners and just like have a totally different

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<v Speaker 2>support system now, and I think my mom is feeling

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<v Speaker 2>like cut out of that. Not that she's cut out,

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<v Speaker 2>but I definitely rely on her less now than I

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<v Speaker 2>did five years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>Does your mom have like her own life? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>she has her study, she is, she is, she's.

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<v Speaker 2>Married, she's married. She has my brother who's twenty five,

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<v Speaker 2>and she and my stepdad are his like full time

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<v Speaker 2>caregivers and will be until he passes away, which could

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<v Speaker 2>be Well, we were thinking it could be this week,

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<v Speaker 2>but now he looks fine, and so we're thinking like

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<v Speaker 2>weeks to months. So, like she's with him a bunch.

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<v Speaker 2>She has a job that she's really successful at. She

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<v Speaker 2>has book clubs. She's hosting a baby shower girl in

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<v Speaker 2>her book club. Like she's got stuff going on.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, interesting, No, it sounds like she's got a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of shit going on. But like, I don't why is

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<v Speaker 1>she feel like is she just like guilting you about shit?

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<v Speaker 2>So, like, my mental health has been really rough the

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<v Speaker 2>past year and a half, And from her perspective, it

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<v Speaker 2>is rough because like relationship turmoil from being polyamorous and

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<v Speaker 2>dating multiple people. And from her perspective, my choices are

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<v Speaker 2>contributing to my mental health from my perspective, which is,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, more accurate because I am the one living

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<v Speaker 2>my life. I know that the choices that I'm making

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<v Speaker 2>are getting me out of the mental health issues. But

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<v Speaker 2>I think from her perspective, and also because like I said,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't need her as much now, so I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>relying on her as much, so she's not getting as

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<v Speaker 2>much information about my life. I think she just has

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<v Speaker 2>like such a limited perspective that she felt the need

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<v Speaker 2>to tell me, like, hey, you are doing it wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean that's the thing when you have like

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<v Speaker 1>when your fucking kids are I mean, that's the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>When your daughter is thirty years old, you're uh yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean if you were sixteen and you had seventeen

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<v Speaker 1>boyfriends or whatever, then maybe, yeah, maybe maybe maybe your

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<v Speaker 1>mom is a little bit more justified and chiming in.

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<v Speaker 1>But by by thirty, it's like, you know, whatever you

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<v Speaker 1>have to say about my life is you know, you're

0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:29.280
<v Speaker 1>entitled to your opinion about it, but you have no

0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:34.480
<v Speaker 1>you have no sway. It's like what's the Bob Dylan song,

0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:40.560
<v Speaker 1>The times are a change in par fuck? Do you

0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:44.600
<v Speaker 1>know the there's a line, it's about crap. Well, I

0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:46.760
<v Speaker 1>want to look this up. Hold on, sorry, I want

0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:50.640
<v Speaker 1>to look it up. I'm looking it up. It's just it's, uh,

0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:57.640
<v Speaker 1>the times, they are a change in the classic classically

0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:02.880
<v Speaker 1>from uh the opening of the Watchman movie. Have you

0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:08.760
<v Speaker 1>seen that? Yeah, yeah, okay, he goes, it goes. Come come,

0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:12.480
<v Speaker 1>mothers and fathers throughout the land, and don't criticize what

0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:15.880
<v Speaker 1>you can't understand. Your sons and your daughters are beyond

0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:20.240
<v Speaker 1>your command. Bam. That's what that's what we got. That

0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:22.600
<v Speaker 1>that's what we got. That's that's what's going on here,

0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:30.199
<v Speaker 1>speaking the truth. So yeah, I mean your mom, your

0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.079
<v Speaker 1>mom's got to listen to Maybe you should send her

0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:36.560
<v Speaker 1>that song. Maybe maybe maybe you text her. Maybe you

0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:38.960
<v Speaker 1>text her that song, and you're like, that's that's what

0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:45.720
<v Speaker 1>you gotta accept. That's her journey is accepting that that

0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:52.480
<v Speaker 1>that little part of the song. Yeah, you know, And

0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:54.439
<v Speaker 1>I get why that would make her hard to hang

0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:59.280
<v Speaker 1>out with if she is has an accept Yeah.

0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Well, and it's too because like my mom and I

0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.520
<v Speaker 2>were really really close, like I said, like she lived

0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.199
<v Speaker 2>with me for a little bit when my husband died,

0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.680
<v Speaker 2>and then even before that, like she was only twenty

0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.320
<v Speaker 2>when I was born, so we really grew up together

0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:17.200
<v Speaker 2>and like, are really close or we're really close question work,

0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:20.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, and so it's weird for me too,

0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:22.800
<v Speaker 2>Like I have a lot of grief about the state

0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.080
<v Speaker 2>of our relationship currently and I'm like, ah, this is

0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:28.920
<v Speaker 2>not how I would prefer it, and that doesn't change that. Like,

0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:32.840
<v Speaker 2>I just don't have the emotional bandwidth to convince her

0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:34.760
<v Speaker 2>that I'm making the right life choices.

0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:41.600
<v Speaker 1>You can't you could, well, you literally can't, right right true?

0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:48.120
<v Speaker 1>What well? I guess, Like, I mean when when when

0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:49.960
<v Speaker 1>you talk to her about these things, how does that

0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:53.840
<v Speaker 1>conversation go? Like are you like, hey, mom, listen, I'm

0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:56.520
<v Speaker 1>never gonna I know you have your ideas of how

0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:59.880
<v Speaker 1>I should be living my life and you're entitled to

0:14:59.920 --> 0:15:02.200
<v Speaker 1>he I have ideas about whatever it is that you want,

0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:04.920
<v Speaker 1>but I would I just di I don't want to

0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:05.600
<v Speaker 1>hear them anymore.

0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:10.880
<v Speaker 2>She's like, but I'm your mom, and you need to

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:12.680
<v Speaker 2>hear what I have to say. You need to hear

0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:18.520
<v Speaker 2>my perspective. But I'm like, but I don't need to.

0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:24.520
<v Speaker 2>You need me to and that's different. Yeah, yeah, And

0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.200
<v Speaker 2>I did, like I did sit and listen to her.

0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:32.440
<v Speaker 2>Like last let's see, in October, she flew out to

0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:39.280
<v Speaker 2>see me and we talked like pretty intensely and emotionally,

0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:43.200
<v Speaker 2>and I just straight up told her like I sat

0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.240
<v Speaker 2>and I listened and I was like, yeah, I'm not

0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:48.440
<v Speaker 2>going to change my mind, Like this is not a

0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:51.280
<v Speaker 2>continu a conversation that I'm willing to continue having with

0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:53.760
<v Speaker 2>you for you to tell me that polyamory is wrong

0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:55.840
<v Speaker 2>for me, Like, I'm just not open to hearing your

0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:59.240
<v Speaker 2>perspective because you don't know, you haven't done the research,

0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:03.360
<v Speaker 2>you don't have the experience, like you have your own

0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:07.960
<v Speaker 2>insecurities around it, and that's I just don't want to

0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.040
<v Speaker 2>deal with that and I don't have to. And she

0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:11.680
<v Speaker 2>didn't like that.

0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Hmm. Yeah, that's a bummer. That's a bummer. I wish

0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:25.080
<v Speaker 1>I had anything. I wish I had anything better to

0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:31.040
<v Speaker 1>tell you other than that that's a bummer. Yeah it is,

0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:36.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, Yeah, I don't know, because you you're like,

0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:39.360
<v Speaker 1>if you like anyone out there, if you have a

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.440
<v Speaker 1>if you have a parent who's like unconditionally supportive of you,

0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:47.920
<v Speaker 1>it's like it's like striking fucking gold, you know. Yeah,

0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:53.200
<v Speaker 1>And uh, it's hard to deal with it. If it's

0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:59.480
<v Speaker 1>if they're if they're not, I'm I'm not a real therapist,

0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:01.600
<v Speaker 1>or I'm not I don't even think I'm a fake therapist.

0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:05.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm just doing a part I get. You know what,

0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:08.080
<v Speaker 1>I guess if you call yourself the therapy gecko and

0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.920
<v Speaker 1>you and you pretend to give people, yeah, I guess,

0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:17.359
<v Speaker 1>I guess I'm yeah. Anyway, Well, well, uh, okay, okay.

0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:19.320
<v Speaker 1>Have you ever talked to a real therapist about this?

0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:20.480
<v Speaker 1>And if you do, what do they have to say?

0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:21.720
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I talked to my real therapist all the time.

0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:25.680
<v Speaker 1>What theist say?

0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:32.199
<v Speaker 2>She basically reminds me, like to use my tools and

0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:35.639
<v Speaker 2>that I don't have to let anybody make me feel

0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:37.760
<v Speaker 2>any kind of way, which is actually funny because that's

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:39.800
<v Speaker 2>advice that my mom has given me my whole life,

0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:45.480
<v Speaker 2>usually about other relatives. And then just like reminding me

0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.600
<v Speaker 2>about some other therapy stuff, like wise mind, which is

0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:51.960
<v Speaker 2>you have like the emotional part of your brain and

0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.159
<v Speaker 2>then you have the logical part of your brain, and

0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:57.719
<v Speaker 2>wise mind is bringing those two together and making decisions

0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.920
<v Speaker 2>from both, and so reminding me like, don't just look

0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:03.600
<v Speaker 2>at the details on paper, don't just look at how

0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:06.680
<v Speaker 2>you're feeling about a situation, like use all of it

0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.200
<v Speaker 2>and take all the data and make your decisions accordingly,

0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.000
<v Speaker 2>and just like reassuring me and my sense of self

0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:13.840
<v Speaker 2>also because we've done a lot of work on that

0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:15.120
<v Speaker 2>since my husband passed away.

0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:22.840
<v Speaker 1>What's your so like, I'm very what's your relationship like

0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:24.960
<v Speaker 1>with your stepdad? I know we kind of talked about

0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:29.320
<v Speaker 1>it a little bit, but like is he like because

0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.199
<v Speaker 1>because the stepdad is is a bit of a central

0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:37.280
<v Speaker 1>figure I think in this of like, you know, like

0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:39.399
<v Speaker 1>does he play a voice of reason? Is he on

0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:42.360
<v Speaker 1>your side? Is he like, hey, you know, give give

0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:44.679
<v Speaker 1>the kid a break? Is he what's his kind of

0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:48.400
<v Speaker 1>Not that it really matters in the like fasting of all,

0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:50.359
<v Speaker 1>not that it really matters in the processing of all

0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:52.440
<v Speaker 1>of this, but I'm just curious.

0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:55.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't really know. I think for the most part,

0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:59.000
<v Speaker 2>he just like stit out of it at Christmas, like

0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:02.360
<v Speaker 2>try to me between us and remind us, like, hey,

0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:04.720
<v Speaker 2>don't say anything that you're gonna regret. I feel like

0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:06.600
<v Speaker 2>at that point it was too late though, I was

0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:09.760
<v Speaker 2>already figuring out how I was gonna suddenly fly home

0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:12.520
<v Speaker 2>and leave the trip, but for the most part, he's

0:19:12.640 --> 0:19:16.360
<v Speaker 2>like encouraging to both of us to do it our

0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:17.560
<v Speaker 2>way whatever that looks like.

0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:26.240
<v Speaker 1>So tell me, I guess, like, aside from what's going

0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:29.120
<v Speaker 1>on with your mom, tell me about tell me about

0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:32.399
<v Speaker 1>the polyamory stuff. What's uh, what's been your what's been

0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:34.800
<v Speaker 1>your journey with that. I think about this stuff a

0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:42.199
<v Speaker 1>lot because like I don't know, like being on I

0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:46.200
<v Speaker 1>don't know. I think these are not refined thoughts. I'm

0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:50.800
<v Speaker 1>gonna think aloud for a second, but it's like I

0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:55.520
<v Speaker 1>think there's something to be said about, like because I'm

0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:57.399
<v Speaker 1>trying to figure out how I want to live my

0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:01.119
<v Speaker 1>own life, and it's like, uh, there's something to be

0:20:01.160 --> 0:20:05.439
<v Speaker 1>said about like committing to one person and then like

0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:08.600
<v Speaker 1>you have like doing the work of like figuring it

0:20:08.760 --> 0:20:12.919
<v Speaker 1>fucking out with like one person, and like you know,

0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:17.560
<v Speaker 1>the idea, the idea is you pick someone and then

0:20:17.640 --> 0:20:20.760
<v Speaker 1>you grow with them and you fight with them and

0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:24.760
<v Speaker 1>you work it out and you you continue on. But

0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.520
<v Speaker 1>but the idea that like, like I don't believe like

0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:30.119
<v Speaker 1>soulmates makes no sense to me. The idea of like

0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:34.720
<v Speaker 1>there was there's one person who's one person who's perfect

0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:37.159
<v Speaker 1>for you and you happen to meet them out of

0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:39.239
<v Speaker 1>the infinite amount of people that like, that's there's no way.

0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:42.720
<v Speaker 1>There's is no fucking way. And I also I also

0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:47.080
<v Speaker 1>believe in you know that like like the like the

0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:51.120
<v Speaker 1>abundance of love and all that shit of like, well,

0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:56.240
<v Speaker 1>I have you know, tons of friends. Why can't that exist?

0:20:56.840 --> 0:21:03.280
<v Speaker 1>Why can't that you know, uh uh be? Why can't

0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:07.000
<v Speaker 1>I have infinite love for multiple people? And the truth

0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:10.560
<v Speaker 1>the truth is, I actually I don't think to say

0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:14.320
<v Speaker 1>which of those things is to say, like, Okay, the

0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:18.320
<v Speaker 1>path of commitment and we're gonna, fuck I'm just choosing

0:21:18.359 --> 0:21:20.600
<v Speaker 1>this and we're gonna do it. There's there's growth there,

0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:25.840
<v Speaker 1>and there's positive things there versus the acceptance of like

0:21:25.920 --> 0:21:29.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to live with just the utmost abundance of

0:21:29.800 --> 0:21:34.000
<v Speaker 1>love and I'm actually going to uh learn how to

0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:40.640
<v Speaker 1>juggle and be in like, you know, multiple abundant what's

0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:42.280
<v Speaker 1>the word. There's a fucking thing I'm trying to think

0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:47.920
<v Speaker 1>of like like like uh like anti possession kind of ship.

0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:50.360
<v Speaker 1>And I'm gonna learn how to be I'm gonna learn

0:21:50.359 --> 0:21:54.000
<v Speaker 1>how to be so fucking loving to so many people

0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:57.639
<v Speaker 1>that I have no desire to possess them in any way,

0:21:57.840 --> 0:22:00.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, And I think and I think both both

0:22:00.960 --> 0:22:05.080
<v Speaker 1>kind of lifestyles. There's no neither of them are uh

0:22:05.119 --> 0:22:08.440
<v Speaker 1>you know correct, TM, They both kind of They both

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:13.600
<v Speaker 1>bring with them their own sense of you know, struggles

0:22:13.880 --> 0:22:19.000
<v Speaker 1>and their own senses of of of benefits. So I'm

0:22:19.080 --> 0:22:23.439
<v Speaker 1>curious for you which what how you know what your

0:22:23.480 --> 0:22:24.560
<v Speaker 1>journey has been like on that.

0:22:25.600 --> 0:22:29.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, So my husband I were monogamous and Christian,

0:22:29.320 --> 0:22:31.760
<v Speaker 2>like super Christian. I was working in the church and

0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:36.000
<v Speaker 2>he was super involved in the church. And when he

0:22:36.320 --> 0:22:40.720
<v Speaker 2>passed away, there was also like some just like bullshit

0:22:40.800 --> 0:22:42.840
<v Speaker 2>drama that happened at the church, and so the church

0:22:42.920 --> 0:22:47.400
<v Speaker 2>ended up closing. Also, luckily, I had another job lined

0:22:47.480 --> 0:22:49.439
<v Speaker 2>up because I was trying to get another drip up anyway,

0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:54.280
<v Speaker 2>and so I transitioned to working in marketing, which, like

0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:59.240
<v Speaker 2>I was doing marketing for churches anyway, and then I

0:22:59.320 --> 0:23:04.280
<v Speaker 2>avenge started dating very very casually, And in dating casually,

0:23:04.280 --> 0:23:06.320
<v Speaker 2>I was dating a lot of people who were either

0:23:06.359 --> 0:23:10.200
<v Speaker 2>polyamorous or in open relationships. Because people who casually date

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:13.119
<v Speaker 2>are casual daters, right, It just makes so a lot

0:23:13.160 --> 0:23:15.600
<v Speaker 2>of the people that I was dating we're also dating

0:23:15.600 --> 0:23:17.800
<v Speaker 2>other people. And I was just like, well, yeah, sure,

0:23:17.840 --> 0:23:22.120
<v Speaker 2>I could try this. I dated a guy for two

0:23:22.240 --> 0:23:24.960
<v Speaker 2>years in Greece and I actually like flew back and

0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:28.040
<v Speaker 2>forth to see him a bunch, and at first we

0:23:28.040 --> 0:23:31.199
<v Speaker 2>were just super casual, like friends with benefits, but we

0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:33.479
<v Speaker 2>were pretty into each other and if I was going

0:23:33.560 --> 0:23:35.359
<v Speaker 2>to be there, we would hang out. But we weren't

0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:38.480
<v Speaker 2>like going to get married or anything like. We weren't

0:23:38.520 --> 0:23:41.480
<v Speaker 2>committed as long as it served both of us. But

0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:43.440
<v Speaker 2>then after being together for like a year and a half,

0:23:43.520 --> 0:23:46.159
<v Speaker 2>I was like, well, we've put in so much time,

0:23:46.359 --> 0:23:50.080
<v Speaker 2>like we should be more serious than this, Like we

0:23:50.119 --> 0:23:54.240
<v Speaker 2>should be committed committed. But for him, that looked like

0:23:54.359 --> 0:23:57.240
<v Speaker 2>more exclusivity than I was comfortable with, because by that

0:23:57.359 --> 0:24:02.119
<v Speaker 2>point I had already met other people in Chicago that

0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:04.359
<v Speaker 2>I really liked spending time with, hanging out with, dating,

0:24:04.600 --> 0:24:07.320
<v Speaker 2>cooking up with, and I wasn't willing to give up

0:24:07.960 --> 0:24:11.240
<v Speaker 2>those connections. And there was one in particular that Greek

0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:18.320
<v Speaker 2>boyfriend was especially like insecure about, and he was asking

0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:20.919
<v Speaker 2>me like, hey, if we're going to be committed and serious,

0:24:21.160 --> 0:24:22.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't think that you should still be with this person.

0:24:23.040 --> 0:24:24.919
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, but I love this person and

0:24:25.000 --> 0:24:26.760
<v Speaker 2>I want to be with this person and definitely so

0:24:26.960 --> 0:24:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to do that. So we broke up.

0:24:29.600 --> 0:24:32.200
<v Speaker 2>And then my partner, Javan and I have been together

0:24:32.800 --> 0:24:35.480
<v Speaker 2>and are doing well and we date together and separate

0:24:35.680 --> 0:24:40.120
<v Speaker 2>and have other partners also, but we live together and

0:24:41.320 --> 0:24:45.360
<v Speaker 2>like do life together, share finances, share an apartment. He's

0:24:45.359 --> 0:24:51.280
<v Speaker 2>feeding the caps while I'm gone. I love our relationship.

0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:57.159
<v Speaker 2>Our relationship is amazing and beautiful and wonderful. I just

0:24:57.240 --> 0:24:57.960
<v Speaker 2>rambled a bunch.

0:24:58.400 --> 0:25:01.000
<v Speaker 1>No, No, that was great. That's great, all right, By

0:25:01.040 --> 0:25:06.840
<v Speaker 1>the way, I like, I really do, I really, I

0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:12.280
<v Speaker 1>I really do get I feel where you're confront because

0:25:12.320 --> 0:25:18.360
<v Speaker 1>like people, you know, I think people mistake like, oh,

0:25:18.480 --> 0:25:22.919
<v Speaker 1>I could never do that with nobody, can ever do that?

0:25:23.600 --> 0:25:23.840
<v Speaker 2>You know?

0:25:24.200 --> 0:25:27.960
<v Speaker 3>Yes, so that's yeah, probably I was going on, yeah,

0:25:28.040 --> 0:25:31.080
<v Speaker 3>oh I could never do that with the pretense or

0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:36.720
<v Speaker 3>the undertones of and neither can you.

0:25:35.680 --> 0:25:41.679
<v Speaker 1>Right, right, But I don't know. We live in we

0:25:41.720 --> 0:25:44.199
<v Speaker 1>live in an abundant world where everyone can kind of

0:25:44.200 --> 0:25:45.320
<v Speaker 1>fucking do whatever they want.

0:25:46.800 --> 0:25:50.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And that's I mean, one of my core values

0:25:50.560 --> 0:25:52.600
<v Speaker 2>is to do it for the bit, Like everything can't

0:25:52.640 --> 0:25:55.679
<v Speaker 2>be so serious and sure. That's not to say that

0:25:55.720 --> 0:25:57.720
<v Speaker 2>like my dating life isn't serious. Like I have a

0:25:57.800 --> 0:26:01.040
<v Speaker 2>lot of very serious, committed relationships. It's the commitment and

0:26:01.240 --> 0:26:03.280
<v Speaker 2>exclusivity are not mutually exclusive.

0:26:05.080 --> 0:26:10.280
<v Speaker 1>That's an interesting concept. Tell me, tell me more about

0:26:10.280 --> 0:26:10.919
<v Speaker 1>what you mean by that.

0:26:12.000 --> 0:26:16.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm wholeheartedly committed to my partner, Javon, and that

0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:19.920
<v Speaker 2>doesn't mean that I can't be committed to other people. Also,

0:26:20.000 --> 0:26:21.879
<v Speaker 2>it's like you were saying about friendships. It's like you

0:26:21.880 --> 0:26:23.720
<v Speaker 2>don't have one friend and that's the only friend that

0:26:23.760 --> 0:26:25.480
<v Speaker 2>you do stuff with. You have a bunch of friends

0:26:25.520 --> 0:26:28.400
<v Speaker 2>and for a bunch of activities, right, Like there's one

0:26:28.400 --> 0:26:29.959
<v Speaker 2>friend you go to the movies with to see an

0:26:29.960 --> 0:26:31.840
<v Speaker 2>action movie, and there's another friend you go to see

0:26:31.840 --> 0:26:35.840
<v Speaker 2>a rom com and it's just like the same kind

0:26:35.840 --> 0:26:40.880
<v Speaker 2>of thing, but for dating and incorporating sex and romance

0:26:40.960 --> 0:26:45.520
<v Speaker 2>into those relationships also m h m hm. And there's

0:26:45.560 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 2>no reason that you can only do that in one relationship.

0:26:51.080 --> 0:26:54.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I have to. I have to ask though, because

0:26:54.280 --> 0:26:57.320
<v Speaker 1>it here's the one thing is that there is a

0:26:59.200 --> 0:27:02.280
<v Speaker 1>the one thing that you I mean, one of the

0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:04.760
<v Speaker 1>one of the many challenges to the lifestyle I assume

0:27:04.880 --> 0:27:09.320
<v Speaker 1>is that you have a finite amount of time in

0:27:09.359 --> 0:27:13.400
<v Speaker 1>an you twenty you have twenty four hours in a day.

0:27:13.920 --> 0:27:18.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and it's the most difficult thing about I mean.

0:27:18.840 --> 0:27:23.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, for for most people, it's like, I mean, polyamory

0:27:24.040 --> 0:27:27.480
<v Speaker 1>isn't like forget about anything logistically. I mean, I'm sorry,

0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:32.760
<v Speaker 1>forget about anything emotionally. It's just like logistically between you know,

0:27:32.880 --> 0:27:35.159
<v Speaker 1>having to work for however many hours you got to

0:27:35.200 --> 0:27:37.639
<v Speaker 1>work and having to do laundry and brush your teeth

0:27:37.680 --> 0:27:40.639
<v Speaker 1>and go to that, you know, just do everything. I mean,

0:27:40.680 --> 0:27:44.000
<v Speaker 1>how do you have genuine question, how do you have

0:27:44.119 --> 0:27:48.360
<v Speaker 1>time to have all these commitments and all these relationships.

0:27:48.880 --> 0:27:53.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm probably the wrong person to ask, because I

0:27:53.240 --> 0:27:55.879
<v Speaker 2>left my job and started my own business partially to

0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:59.240
<v Speaker 2>free up my time, partially because I was just ready

0:27:59.280 --> 0:28:03.200
<v Speaker 2>to do that. But so there's that. So I work

0:28:03.280 --> 0:28:05.639
<v Speaker 2>a lot less now, and the work that I do

0:28:05.760 --> 0:28:10.320
<v Speaker 2>is significantly more meaningful. And then it also honestly helps

0:28:10.320 --> 0:28:12.440
<v Speaker 2>that I am dating people who are dating each other,

0:28:12.960 --> 0:28:16.280
<v Speaker 2>because then we can hang out together versus when I've

0:28:16.480 --> 0:28:19.160
<v Speaker 2>dated people who are not dating the people that I'm dating.

0:28:19.520 --> 0:28:22.359
<v Speaker 2>It's like a lot more logistically challenging just to find

0:28:22.480 --> 0:28:28.320
<v Speaker 2>time and I feel like that's the like, not argument necessarily,

0:28:28.359 --> 0:28:32.040
<v Speaker 2>but like that's what I end up like getting frustrated

0:28:32.080 --> 0:28:35.120
<v Speaker 2>with partners about is time management, either on their end

0:28:35.200 --> 0:28:37.639
<v Speaker 2>or mine of like, Okay, well I've set aside this

0:28:37.720 --> 0:28:40.400
<v Speaker 2>time for you and you didn't take me up on it,

0:28:40.560 --> 0:28:43.360
<v Speaker 2>or like we had this date planned and you double

0:28:43.400 --> 0:28:46.160
<v Speaker 2>booked or I double booked or whatever it is. It's

0:28:46.200 --> 0:28:50.280
<v Speaker 2>like time management is like the most annoying part.

0:28:51.480 --> 0:28:54.680
<v Speaker 1>That's so no the thing you said about, uh yeah,

0:28:54.760 --> 0:28:57.360
<v Speaker 1>like if you have two boyfriends, but the two boyfriends

0:28:57.400 --> 0:29:01.280
<v Speaker 1>are also boyfriends, that's not perfect. That's perfect because you

0:29:01.320 --> 0:29:03.480
<v Speaker 1>can go because that means you can go do whatever

0:29:03.520 --> 0:29:07.200
<v Speaker 1>the fuck thing you're gonna do. And then your boyfriends

0:29:07.200 --> 0:29:10.080
<v Speaker 1>are boyfriends ended up with each other, you know you

0:29:10.240 --> 0:29:11.400
<v Speaker 1>have to worry about.

0:29:11.320 --> 0:29:16.120
<v Speaker 2>Uh uh, well, like last night, right exactly last night,

0:29:16.160 --> 0:29:18.280
<v Speaker 2>like I flew out to Maryland and so my girlfriend

0:29:18.400 --> 0:29:20.440
<v Speaker 2>was over at my apartment with my partner, and she

0:29:20.600 --> 0:29:22.240
<v Speaker 2>like stayed over and then got up this morning and

0:29:22.320 --> 0:29:24.040
<v Speaker 2>went to work, and I'm like, wow, how great that

0:29:24.440 --> 0:29:27.120
<v Speaker 2>my partner was not home alone, Like how wonderful that

0:29:27.200 --> 0:29:27.880
<v Speaker 2>he had company?

0:29:28.760 --> 0:29:29.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:29:29.800 --> 0:29:32.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and company that I love and trust versus like

0:29:32.360 --> 0:29:37.320
<v Speaker 2>company that I don't know anything about.

0:29:37.480 --> 0:29:39.000
<v Speaker 1>What's your What business do you do?

0:29:40.480 --> 0:29:45.240
<v Speaker 2>I am a business consultant. I helped creative people organize

0:29:45.280 --> 0:29:48.960
<v Speaker 2>their self care, passion project or small business.

0:29:49.960 --> 0:29:51.920
<v Speaker 1>Interesting, how long have you been doing that?

0:29:53.080 --> 0:29:54.560
<v Speaker 2>I started in January?

0:29:55.240 --> 0:29:56.560
<v Speaker 1>And how's it? How's it going?

0:29:57.600 --> 0:30:02.760
<v Speaker 2>It's going great. I love all of the clients that

0:30:02.800 --> 0:30:04.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm working with. I'm doing a lot more well on

0:30:04.560 --> 0:30:06.720
<v Speaker 2>one coaching than I was expecting. I was expecting to

0:30:06.760 --> 0:30:09.880
<v Speaker 2>do more like small business consulting, where I have like

0:30:09.960 --> 0:30:13.440
<v Speaker 2>contracts with small businesses, But actually a lot of the

0:30:13.440 --> 0:30:16.000
<v Speaker 2>work that I'm doing is just like one on one

0:30:16.000 --> 0:30:20.240
<v Speaker 2>calls with people who are doing some form of passion

0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:23.160
<v Speaker 2>project and they just need help like with project management

0:30:23.320 --> 0:30:26.680
<v Speaker 2>or resources or training stuff like that. So I have

0:30:26.720 --> 0:30:29.360
<v Speaker 2>a client that I'm helping develop a marketing strategy for

0:30:29.400 --> 0:30:32.640
<v Speaker 2>her self published children's book. I have a client that

0:30:32.720 --> 0:30:37.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm helping her outline her like branding guidelines for her

0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:40.440
<v Speaker 2>own business because she doesn't quite have the budget to

0:30:40.440 --> 0:30:42.240
<v Speaker 2>pay someone else to do it. But I was like, well,

0:30:42.240 --> 0:30:45.320
<v Speaker 2>I can do it, but it's better if I teach

0:30:45.360 --> 0:30:46.880
<v Speaker 2>you how to do it. So I'm doing that.

0:30:48.280 --> 0:30:52.160
<v Speaker 1>Stuff like that that makes sense. You know, you're very

0:30:52.160 --> 0:30:54.520
<v Speaker 1>easy to talk to, so it makes sense that you

0:30:54.600 --> 0:31:00.400
<v Speaker 1>have this like one to one kind of coaching job.

0:31:01.400 --> 0:31:04.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it suits me. I enjoy it a lot. And

0:31:06.600 --> 0:31:08.719
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I have been in therapy like all

0:31:08.760 --> 0:31:11.280
<v Speaker 2>of my life, literally all of my life actually since

0:31:11.320 --> 0:31:15.080
<v Speaker 2>my brother was born because he's special needs, the like

0:31:15.200 --> 0:31:17.520
<v Speaker 2>therapy center for him where he would do like his

0:31:17.560 --> 0:31:22.080
<v Speaker 2>physical therapy. They also offered mental health services to the siblings.

0:31:22.280 --> 0:31:27.280
<v Speaker 2>So I started therapy like super young and have just

0:31:27.560 --> 0:31:30.320
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know, absorbed at all. And I like

0:31:30.480 --> 0:31:33.480
<v Speaker 2>passing on knowledge, not just about like business stuff, but

0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:40.120
<v Speaker 2>everything like holistic care. And I really think that self

0:31:40.160 --> 0:31:43.720
<v Speaker 2>care like is part of your work and your business.

0:31:43.800 --> 0:31:46.280
<v Speaker 2>It's like the crucial part. It's the part that everything

0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:49.240
<v Speaker 2>is built off of. So I'm glad that I get

0:31:49.280 --> 0:31:51.680
<v Speaker 2>to do that for other people and with other people.

0:31:52.560 --> 0:31:54.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna go ahead let me. I don't know what's

0:31:54.520 --> 0:31:58.440
<v Speaker 1>going on in the twitch chat, but if you're down,

0:31:58.480 --> 0:32:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I'll see if the twitch chat has any, uh any

0:32:01.640 --> 0:32:04.640
<v Speaker 1>questions are you a real gecko? I'm not going to

0:32:04.680 --> 0:32:06.160
<v Speaker 1>answer that. You should.

0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:12.080
<v Speaker 2>Speaking of are you a real gecko is when you're

0:32:12.120 --> 0:32:14.560
<v Speaker 2>a little like intro theme song plays or your outro

0:32:14.680 --> 0:32:17.520
<v Speaker 2>theme song, and it says, budd, he's not really. We

0:32:17.560 --> 0:32:20.880
<v Speaker 2>say a gecko, Oh.

0:32:21.200 --> 0:32:25.800
<v Speaker 1>I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta update that

0:32:25.880 --> 0:32:27.280
<v Speaker 1>intro song. I get a new one.

0:32:27.400 --> 0:32:29.040
<v Speaker 2>I know that's not the words, but it's fun.

0:32:29.240 --> 0:32:32.719
<v Speaker 1>So okay, here's a question. Someone asks if STDs are

0:32:32.760 --> 0:32:33.560
<v Speaker 1>ever a concern.

0:32:34.720 --> 0:32:38.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, for sure. So we're just like really open and

0:32:38.200 --> 0:32:42.800
<v Speaker 2>talking about testing and also using barriers, and we just

0:32:42.840 --> 0:32:45.320
<v Speaker 2>have those conversations a lot more than other people.

0:32:46.720 --> 0:32:49.560
<v Speaker 1>Someone asked, uh, what was the transition like from being

0:32:50.200 --> 0:32:51.800
<v Speaker 1>employed to self employed?

0:32:53.200 --> 0:33:00.640
<v Speaker 2>Fucking terrifying. I have like a good savings account that

0:33:00.720 --> 0:33:05.120
<v Speaker 2>I built up for this, and it still like hurts

0:33:05.160 --> 0:33:07.880
<v Speaker 2>me emotionally to dig into it. Like I know that

0:33:07.880 --> 0:33:09.840
<v Speaker 2>that's why I have the money, and I'm like, oh

0:33:09.880 --> 0:33:11.920
<v Speaker 2>my gosh, like I'm going to burn through my savings.

0:33:11.960 --> 0:33:14.800
<v Speaker 2>It's like that's literally what it's for. Yeah, it's really

0:33:14.880 --> 0:33:21.040
<v Speaker 2>just like the mindset shift of like I am fully

0:33:21.120 --> 0:33:25.520
<v Speaker 2>responsible for my income versus when I was working at

0:33:25.520 --> 0:33:27.640
<v Speaker 2>a business, it was like there was a little bit

0:33:27.680 --> 0:33:30.080
<v Speaker 2>of like sales and lead generation in my job, but

0:33:30.400 --> 0:33:32.240
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't doing all of it. Whereas now I'm doing

0:33:32.240 --> 0:33:33.720
<v Speaker 2>all of it, Like, if I need a new client,

0:33:33.760 --> 0:33:36.840
<v Speaker 2>it's my responsibility to go out and find a new client. Yeah,

0:33:36.880 --> 0:33:39.520
<v Speaker 2>and that, Like I knew all of that going in,

0:33:39.640 --> 0:33:42.080
<v Speaker 2>but it's still quite a lot to juggle and to

0:33:42.120 --> 0:33:42.720
<v Speaker 2>get used to.

0:33:44.160 --> 0:33:46.160
<v Speaker 1>Are you you started in January?

0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:46.479
<v Speaker 4>Are you?

0:33:46.600 --> 0:33:47.800
<v Speaker 1>Are you? Are you in the green?

0:33:49.160 --> 0:33:49.560
<v Speaker 4>Not yet?

0:33:51.040 --> 0:33:55.720
<v Speaker 1>What's been your like process for gathering clients and whatnot.

0:33:56.840 --> 0:34:00.800
<v Speaker 2>So it's funny when I moved to Chico back in

0:34:00.840 --> 0:34:03.440
<v Speaker 2>the day, like five years ago I did it or

0:34:03.480 --> 0:34:07.760
<v Speaker 2>six years Oh my gosh. I raised support as a

0:34:07.800 --> 0:34:10.319
<v Speaker 2>missionary to do that, And so I had like a

0:34:10.360 --> 0:34:12.719
<v Speaker 2>pitch deck that I would show to people from the

0:34:12.800 --> 0:34:16.040
<v Speaker 2>church and say, here's why you should invest in my

0:34:16.160 --> 0:34:18.640
<v Speaker 2>position at this church, and here's the impact that I'm

0:34:18.640 --> 0:34:22.000
<v Speaker 2>going to make. I just like took that framework and

0:34:22.200 --> 0:34:24.520
<v Speaker 2>created it for my business. And so I made like

0:34:24.600 --> 0:34:27.960
<v Speaker 2>an investor deck. I scheduled call with a bunch of

0:34:27.960 --> 0:34:30.200
<v Speaker 2>my friends and family and just anybody who would get

0:34:30.239 --> 0:34:32.560
<v Speaker 2>on a call with me, and then I asked them

0:34:33.040 --> 0:34:35.319
<v Speaker 2>to do something, whether it's like book a call with

0:34:35.440 --> 0:34:37.480
<v Speaker 2>me to move forward as a client, refer me to

0:34:37.520 --> 0:34:40.279
<v Speaker 2>someone else, or shout me out on social media, and

0:34:40.320 --> 0:34:42.560
<v Speaker 2>then I just did that over and over again until

0:34:42.560 --> 0:34:44.319
<v Speaker 2>I got a client load I was happy with.

0:34:45.239 --> 0:34:48.000
<v Speaker 1>I guess that kind of the missionary thing leads into

0:34:48.000 --> 0:34:50.000
<v Speaker 1>this other question, Are you still a Christian?

0:34:52.640 --> 0:35:01.160
<v Speaker 2>That's a tough question. I don't think so. I don't know.

0:35:01.680 --> 0:35:07.719
<v Speaker 2>I think there's a lot of value in the community

0:35:07.760 --> 0:35:10.200
<v Speaker 2>that you get from the church. Like I have a

0:35:10.239 --> 0:35:13.160
<v Speaker 2>lot of really close friends, like family friends from the church.

0:35:13.800 --> 0:35:17.840
<v Speaker 2>I think church can be awesome. I think it also

0:35:17.960 --> 0:35:22.359
<v Speaker 2>can be awful. The like party line from Christians is well,

0:35:22.360 --> 0:35:24.840
<v Speaker 2>it's not God that makes church awful, it's people. And

0:35:24.880 --> 0:35:28.799
<v Speaker 2>it's like, yeah, I get that, And I don't know.

0:35:28.880 --> 0:35:31.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm more spiritual. I don't think I'm Christian. I'm not

0:35:31.560 --> 0:35:35.520
<v Speaker 2>like Jesus saves or anything anymore. But I'm also not

0:35:35.800 --> 0:35:36.760
<v Speaker 2>anti church.

0:35:39.160 --> 0:35:43.279
<v Speaker 1>You know the dude. I yeah, people listening to this

0:35:43.320 --> 0:35:47.080
<v Speaker 1>podcast know that this year for this this year has

0:35:47.200 --> 0:35:51.480
<v Speaker 1>been unintentionally been for me the year of the existential crisis.

0:35:52.040 --> 0:35:54.440
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, I've been thinking a lot about I've been

0:35:54.440 --> 0:35:58.279
<v Speaker 1>thinking about things that I have not really I mean that,

0:35:58.400 --> 0:36:01.359
<v Speaker 1>you know, everyone thinks about like, you know, what the

0:36:01.400 --> 0:36:04.600
<v Speaker 1>fuck is this? And you know, how did consciousness get

0:36:04.600 --> 0:36:06.640
<v Speaker 1>to be and what happens after we die and all

0:36:06.640 --> 0:36:08.759
<v Speaker 1>that stuff. But this year, for this year, I got

0:36:08.800 --> 0:36:13.759
<v Speaker 1>like really, yeah, it's called existential depression. Like I got

0:36:13.760 --> 0:36:18.680
<v Speaker 1>really into it, and I think it's the other day

0:36:18.680 --> 0:36:21.439
<v Speaker 1>I was like thinking about it and I was like, oh, wait,

0:36:21.560 --> 0:36:25.560
<v Speaker 1>I actually do think I'm like I was, I was like, wait,

0:36:25.880 --> 0:36:29.600
<v Speaker 1>is there actually fucking might be a god? And I

0:36:29.760 --> 0:36:34.640
<v Speaker 1>not in like a not in like a obviously like

0:36:36.120 --> 0:36:39.319
<v Speaker 1>the god as it's kind of like the way it's

0:36:39.360 --> 0:36:42.880
<v Speaker 1>been like weaponize. Yeah. Yeah, like I hired being like

0:36:42.880 --> 0:36:47.359
<v Speaker 1>like the way it's been like weaponized to like you know,

0:36:48.160 --> 0:36:52.759
<v Speaker 1>uh other people and to fucking you know, like I

0:36:52.800 --> 0:36:54.799
<v Speaker 1>don't think, like I don't think I believe in heaven

0:36:54.800 --> 0:36:57.319
<v Speaker 1>and Hell, although I don't who knows I At this

0:36:57.360 --> 0:37:00.560
<v Speaker 1>point it all all roads leads. All roads kind of

0:37:00.640 --> 0:37:06.600
<v Speaker 1>lead to there being no definitive answer. But when people

0:37:06.640 --> 0:37:09.839
<v Speaker 1>talk about like, I'm not bothered when people talk about

0:37:09.840 --> 0:37:12.120
<v Speaker 1>like God and Jesus because I think God and Jesus

0:37:12.200 --> 0:37:16.560
<v Speaker 1>are just like they're just allegory and I don't know

0:37:16.600 --> 0:37:21.760
<v Speaker 1>if allegory is the right word. They're just placeholders for

0:37:22.880 --> 0:37:26.240
<v Speaker 1>like a higher power. And when you really think about,

0:37:26.320 --> 0:37:30.839
<v Speaker 1>like what a fucking miracle and like what insanity it

0:37:30.960 --> 0:37:35.480
<v Speaker 1>is to like be conscious you you it almost like

0:37:35.560 --> 0:37:38.560
<v Speaker 1>the fact like they're being a high there there must

0:37:39.040 --> 0:37:43.279
<v Speaker 1>be a higher power which and it's not necessarily like

0:37:43.360 --> 0:37:45.239
<v Speaker 1>a dude in the sky or.

0:37:45.280 --> 0:37:52.960
<v Speaker 2>Like mean to me, just like the design of like

0:37:53.200 --> 0:37:57.880
<v Speaker 2>the earth one place where our like human being is

0:37:57.920 --> 0:38:01.320
<v Speaker 2>able to exist and has the right oh zone whatever

0:38:01.480 --> 0:38:03.440
<v Speaker 2>in the air and the like, all of that to

0:38:03.520 --> 0:38:07.880
<v Speaker 2>me indicates like some sort of higher power designing things

0:38:07.960 --> 0:38:09.239
<v Speaker 2>or orchestrating things.

0:38:09.600 --> 0:38:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, but I mean there also is like you

0:38:13.040 --> 0:38:15.319
<v Speaker 1>could take a nihilistic approach to it and be like

0:38:15.400 --> 0:38:21.439
<v Speaker 1>it's all just a random, chaotic, uh cosmic mistake. But

0:38:21.520 --> 0:38:25.160
<v Speaker 1>still but but even but even but even if it's

0:38:25.160 --> 0:38:27.480
<v Speaker 1>all a mistake and it's all random, it's like, well

0:38:27.600 --> 0:38:33.360
<v Speaker 1>so the that's that still doesn't explain a lot of stuff,

0:38:34.120 --> 0:38:36.759
<v Speaker 1>you know, So I don't know, but yeah, but yeah,

0:38:36.800 --> 0:38:39.440
<v Speaker 1>the fact that it's like so I don't know anytime

0:38:39.560 --> 0:38:42.680
<v Speaker 1>like when like uh like even like prayer, like I

0:38:42.880 --> 0:38:46.000
<v Speaker 1>like I pray now you're like I find I've talked

0:38:46.000 --> 0:38:48.640
<v Speaker 1>about this before, Like I'll do this thing like when

0:38:48.680 --> 0:38:53.759
<v Speaker 1>I'm like traveling like if I'm uh going through airport

0:38:53.960 --> 0:38:57.520
<v Speaker 1>security and uh, you know, is that moment when you

0:38:57.520 --> 0:39:00.319
<v Speaker 1>you like you don't have any of your stuff and

0:39:00.480 --> 0:39:02.359
<v Speaker 1>you don't have your phone and you're just standing there

0:39:02.360 --> 0:39:06.280
<v Speaker 1>and you're waiting, I'll like clasp my hands and look up.

0:39:06.480 --> 0:39:09.359
<v Speaker 2>And it's like wow, wow, actually pray.

0:39:09.719 --> 0:39:12.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like pray. But it's again, it's not like

0:39:13.719 --> 0:39:21.239
<v Speaker 1>it's not like Jesus or it's just like we randomly

0:39:21.800 --> 0:39:25.680
<v Speaker 1>somehow got to evolve into these like con into fucking

0:39:26.480 --> 0:39:32.839
<v Speaker 1>conscious beings. It's so insane. There are there obviously there's

0:39:32.880 --> 0:39:37.920
<v Speaker 1>like you know, scientific whatever of like the neurons create

0:39:38.040 --> 0:39:41.320
<v Speaker 1>consciousness or whatever, but there's there's still so many questions

0:39:41.320 --> 0:39:45.799
<v Speaker 1>that like can't be answered, and the answer is not

0:39:45.840 --> 0:39:49.120
<v Speaker 1>necessarily like there was a God and he created the

0:39:49.200 --> 0:39:52.640
<v Speaker 1>life and he wants you to you know, never have

0:39:52.880 --> 0:39:55.880
<v Speaker 1>sex and never you know, direct like that stuff that

0:39:56.000 --> 0:39:59.400
<v Speaker 1>that stuff is all fucking stupid. But like the idea

0:39:59.480 --> 0:40:03.759
<v Speaker 1>that there's something more conscious than us makes total sense.

0:40:03.800 --> 0:40:05.239
<v Speaker 1>So I just I sub that in.

0:40:05.760 --> 0:40:05.920
<v Speaker 5>Now.

0:40:05.920 --> 0:40:08.279
<v Speaker 1>I don't get annoyed when people talk about Jesus or

0:40:08.320 --> 0:40:10.920
<v Speaker 1>anything like that, because I just sub it in with

0:40:11.040 --> 0:40:14.520
<v Speaker 1>like they're seeking a higher power, they seeking answers. You know,

0:40:14.640 --> 0:40:17.560
<v Speaker 1>it's only annoying when people use it, Yeah.

0:40:17.360 --> 0:40:19.239
<v Speaker 2>Go ahead, sorry, Yeah, it's annoying when they like try

0:40:19.280 --> 0:40:21.319
<v Speaker 2>and force it on you exactly, they're like, oh, well

0:40:21.400 --> 0:40:25.040
<v Speaker 2>you should change your X y Z because I believe this.

0:40:25.200 --> 0:40:28.239
<v Speaker 2>It's like, okay, we can stop this conversation now. Versus

0:40:28.280 --> 0:40:30.400
<v Speaker 2>if they're just telling me about their belief system, I'm like,

0:40:30.400 --> 0:40:31.279
<v Speaker 2>oh cool, tell me.

0:40:31.239 --> 0:40:34.279
<v Speaker 1>More, right, right. Yeah, it's annoying when they do that,

0:40:34.280 --> 0:40:35.600
<v Speaker 1>when they try to push it on you, or when

0:40:35.600 --> 0:40:39.759
<v Speaker 1>they like use it to be like, well yeah again,

0:40:39.800 --> 0:40:42.240
<v Speaker 1>I guess, I guess, yeah, I guess. Actually all forms

0:40:42.239 --> 0:40:51.040
<v Speaker 1>of like religious powered hatred are just like extremities of

0:40:51.600 --> 0:40:54.320
<v Speaker 1>trying to force your religion upon other people.

0:40:55.320 --> 0:40:59.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well, and I hate that that religious powered hatred

0:40:59.880 --> 0:41:03.640
<v Speaker 2>is veiled under the guys those religious powered love. It's like, well,

0:41:03.800 --> 0:41:06.120
<v Speaker 2>we're just telling you this because we care so much

0:41:06.160 --> 0:41:08.960
<v Speaker 2>about you, like you clearly don't because you're telling me

0:41:09.080 --> 0:41:10.279
<v Speaker 2>this mm hmm.

0:41:11.360 --> 0:41:14.719
<v Speaker 1>Although you know, it's fun and and I although to

0:41:14.840 --> 0:41:19.720
<v Speaker 1>be maybe it's wrong to be sympathetic to this degree,

0:41:19.920 --> 0:41:22.319
<v Speaker 1>but I also I was thinking, I was maybe it's

0:41:22.320 --> 0:41:24.520
<v Speaker 1>wrong to be sympathetic to this degree. But I was thinking.

0:41:24.560 --> 0:41:28.759
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I was like, you know, if I

0:41:28.920 --> 0:41:37.320
<v Speaker 1>were convinced that if I were convinced unfallibly of these things,

0:41:37.880 --> 0:41:39.239
<v Speaker 1>then of course I'd be like.

0:41:39.760 --> 0:41:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I have the best news in the world I have.

0:41:43.239 --> 0:41:47.359
<v Speaker 1>Of course, yeah, of course. Uh. Louis c K has

0:41:47.440 --> 0:41:51.520
<v Speaker 1>this joke where he's like, you know, like like people

0:41:51.520 --> 0:41:56.640
<v Speaker 1>who are like anti abortion, like like they like in

0:41:56.800 --> 0:42:02.000
<v Speaker 1>their minds, they think that you're killing babies, and so,

0:42:02.080 --> 0:42:04.799
<v Speaker 1>of course if you think that people are killing But

0:42:05.200 --> 0:42:07.319
<v Speaker 1>of course, if you're convinced that you think that people

0:42:07.320 --> 0:42:10.040
<v Speaker 1>are killing babies, you're going to stand outside of the

0:42:10.080 --> 0:42:13.279
<v Speaker 1>fucking planned parenthood. Doesn't make it right, but of course

0:42:13.320 --> 0:42:16.799
<v Speaker 1>that's what you're gonna do if that's what you're convinced of. So,

0:42:17.760 --> 0:42:22.359
<v Speaker 1>you know what, I none of these are all just

0:42:22.440 --> 0:42:25.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, things to think about.

0:42:25.120 --> 0:42:28.560
<v Speaker 2>I guess, but yeah, I don't know either. You talk

0:42:28.600 --> 0:42:31.280
<v Speaker 2>a lot about like recording your thoughts on the internet,

0:42:31.400 --> 0:42:33.919
<v Speaker 2>and I feel very similar. I'm like, oh my god,

0:42:33.960 --> 0:42:35.800
<v Speaker 2>all of this is recorded, and I'm going to change

0:42:35.800 --> 0:42:36.280
<v Speaker 2>my mind.

0:42:36.120 --> 0:42:40.120
<v Speaker 1>Tomorrow, Yes exactly, but whatever, I'll here's what Here's what

0:42:40.120 --> 0:42:42.840
<v Speaker 1>happened is I'll change my mind. Tomorrow somebody will be like,

0:42:42.920 --> 0:42:44.759
<v Speaker 1>well and hear you said this about this, and I'll

0:42:44.800 --> 0:42:50.040
<v Speaker 1>be like, well, you know whatever I'm it makes Honestly,

0:42:51.360 --> 0:42:54.359
<v Speaker 1>it makes me. Yeah, yeah, it makes me very I'm

0:42:54.440 --> 0:42:56.720
<v Speaker 1>very happy and I feel very you see, you really

0:42:56.800 --> 0:42:59.239
<v Speaker 1>get where I'm coming from on all these things, and

0:42:59.280 --> 0:43:03.000
<v Speaker 1>that makes me. That makes me feel feel very seen.

0:43:03.160 --> 0:43:05.319
<v Speaker 1>So I appreciate this conversation very much.

0:43:05.680 --> 0:43:07.960
<v Speaker 2>You're so welcome. And I know that you don't see

0:43:08.000 --> 0:43:10.200
<v Speaker 2>it this way. But we spend a lot of time together.

0:43:11.360 --> 0:43:13.759
<v Speaker 1>This is true. It's true. You spend a lot. It's true.

0:43:13.800 --> 0:43:16.080
<v Speaker 1>We have a yeah, yeah, sure, yeah.

0:43:16.000 --> 0:43:21.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I listen. Do you talk a lot? So it

0:43:21.080 --> 0:43:21.640
<v Speaker 2>makes sense.

0:43:23.760 --> 0:43:29.440
<v Speaker 1>Hold on, we might have another let me let me

0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:37.040
<v Speaker 1>see if we have any more any more? Just questions

0:43:37.080 --> 0:43:41.520
<v Speaker 1>from the chat. Uh. Someone wants to know how many

0:43:41.560 --> 0:43:42.680
<v Speaker 1>partners do you have?

0:43:46.000 --> 0:43:51.320
<v Speaker 2>I would say three right now. I have a nesting partner,

0:43:52.320 --> 0:43:56.000
<v Speaker 2>we have a girlfriend, and have a platonic partner who

0:43:56.000 --> 0:43:59.320
<v Speaker 2>I've been with for ages, but we're long distance.

0:43:59.400 --> 0:44:07.600
<v Speaker 1>Right now, let's see, Oh, how did you meet your partners?

0:44:07.960 --> 0:44:08.839
<v Speaker 1>Someone wants to know.

0:44:10.440 --> 0:44:12.799
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so Javon and I met on Tinder. We were

0:44:12.840 --> 0:44:15.200
<v Speaker 2>just like looking at and then we actually really liked

0:44:15.200 --> 0:44:17.840
<v Speaker 2>each other and like fell in love, which was a

0:44:17.880 --> 0:44:20.120
<v Speaker 2>little problematic because we both had other partners at the

0:44:20.160 --> 0:44:22.759
<v Speaker 2>time who weren't super chill with us falling in love.

0:44:25.040 --> 0:44:29.960
<v Speaker 2>And then I met our girlfriend through Jon he already

0:44:30.040 --> 0:44:32.120
<v Speaker 2>knew her. I don't know how they met, I assume

0:44:32.160 --> 0:44:35.759
<v Speaker 2>on the app. And then my platonic partner we were

0:44:36.680 --> 0:44:37.680
<v Speaker 2>friends in college.

0:44:38.800 --> 0:44:40.880
<v Speaker 1>When you say you had partners that weren't chill with

0:44:40.920 --> 0:44:44.279
<v Speaker 1>you falling in love, are you, is it like do

0:44:44.360 --> 0:44:46.239
<v Speaker 1>you have agreements with them where it's like, look, have

0:44:46.360 --> 0:44:48.840
<v Speaker 1>sex with whoever you want, but like I want to

0:44:48.880 --> 0:44:58.160
<v Speaker 1>be your Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Yeah, someone wants

0:44:58.200 --> 0:45:03.120
<v Speaker 1>to know your thoughts on Playboy CARDI on what play

0:45:03.160 --> 0:45:04.000
<v Speaker 1>Playboy carti?

0:45:05.560 --> 0:45:08.080
<v Speaker 2>Playboy CARTI? I don't know. I have none.

0:45:08.520 --> 0:45:16.719
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, I don't have any either. All right, Well, well,

0:45:16.840 --> 0:45:22.319
<v Speaker 1>kat I, I, is there anything else that did we

0:45:22.440 --> 0:45:25.479
<v Speaker 1>cover all bases? If we didn't, we can come down

0:45:25.600 --> 0:45:26.080
<v Speaker 1>so much.

0:45:28.920 --> 0:45:31.200
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I would love if you're cool. Isn't to

0:45:31.200 --> 0:45:33.000
<v Speaker 2>tell you a little bit about my brother because he's

0:45:33.080 --> 0:45:34.040
<v Speaker 2>like my fucking hero?

0:45:34.960 --> 0:45:37.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Oh, also, yeah, I do want to hear about

0:45:37.480 --> 0:45:40.239
<v Speaker 1>your brother. I also, uh, don't let me forget, but

0:45:40.320 --> 0:45:42.080
<v Speaker 1>I wanna. We'll do this at the very end. I

0:45:42.120 --> 0:45:44.000
<v Speaker 1>want to give you. Don't let me forget about this.

0:45:44.080 --> 0:45:48.080
<v Speaker 1>I want to give you the opportunity to shout out

0:45:48.360 --> 0:45:51.600
<v Speaker 1>your business. I don't know if you have an email,

0:45:52.480 --> 0:45:54.440
<v Speaker 1>Instagram or whatever, but uh yeah, go ahead. Tell me

0:45:54.480 --> 0:45:55.000
<v Speaker 1>about your brother.

0:45:56.760 --> 0:46:01.360
<v Speaker 2>So his name is Thomas. He has this genetic disorder

0:46:01.480 --> 0:46:05.000
<v Speaker 2>called FG syndrome, which it doesn't matter what it's called,

0:46:05.080 --> 0:46:08.960
<v Speaker 2>but it basically his body and his brain like don't

0:46:09.040 --> 0:46:11.200
<v Speaker 2>connect the way that they're supposed to, and so that's

0:46:11.200 --> 0:46:14.520
<v Speaker 2>caused a whole bunch of issues throughout his life. He

0:46:14.800 --> 0:46:17.839
<v Speaker 2>we call him bionic Boy because he has so many

0:46:17.880 --> 0:46:22.440
<v Speaker 2>like medical devices attached to him used to his spine.

0:46:22.640 --> 0:46:26.440
<v Speaker 2>He has a muscle relaxer pump under his abdomen, like

0:46:26.520 --> 0:46:29.239
<v Speaker 2>under the skin that sends muscle relaxer straight to his

0:46:29.280 --> 0:46:35.040
<v Speaker 2>spinal system. He has he's on like bagged nutritions instead

0:46:35.040 --> 0:46:35.880
<v Speaker 2>of a feeding tube.

0:46:35.960 --> 0:46:36.760
<v Speaker 6>It just goes.

0:46:36.560 --> 0:46:41.600
<v Speaker 2>Directly to his bloodstream. It's really fucking cool. He likes

0:46:41.640 --> 0:46:45.080
<v Speaker 2>to play piano, he likes to read books, he loves

0:46:45.080 --> 0:46:48.040
<v Speaker 2>to watch movies. He was on a really big Marvel Kick.

0:46:48.200 --> 0:46:50.080
<v Speaker 2>But then I think he finally got tired of Marvel

0:46:50.120 --> 0:46:53.799
<v Speaker 2>after watching like all of the movies in chronological order

0:46:53.880 --> 0:46:56.560
<v Speaker 2>and release order, like one hundred times over, I think

0:46:56.560 --> 0:47:01.399
<v Speaker 2>he's finally moved on to other action movies. Now, let's see,

0:47:01.440 --> 0:47:06.240
<v Speaker 2>he's quadriplegic, so he doesn't have functionally quadriplegic. He doesn't

0:47:06.239 --> 0:47:08.480
<v Speaker 2>have like full range of motion of his limbs. He

0:47:08.520 --> 0:47:11.520
<v Speaker 2>can like turn pages in a book and like press

0:47:11.600 --> 0:47:13.359
<v Speaker 2>keys on a keyboard, but he doesn't have very much

0:47:13.360 --> 0:47:18.200
<v Speaker 2>control of his motor skills. He's wheelchair bound. He's nonverbal.

0:47:18.719 --> 0:47:23.200
<v Speaker 2>He can communicate with like yes no with his eye

0:47:23.280 --> 0:47:26.600
<v Speaker 2>movement or like he'll raise his eyebrows for yes or

0:47:26.640 --> 0:47:29.200
<v Speaker 2>lower them for no. But for the most part, we

0:47:29.280 --> 0:47:30.320
<v Speaker 2>just kind of read his mind.

0:47:32.920 --> 0:47:36.520
<v Speaker 1>Does he does he like type or write or anything.

0:47:37.840 --> 0:47:40.799
<v Speaker 2>He did type for a while, but it's like so

0:47:41.040 --> 0:47:44.120
<v Speaker 2>much physical effort for him to be able to type

0:47:44.160 --> 0:47:47.200
<v Speaker 2>that there's just very little that's worth it to him

0:47:47.280 --> 0:47:48.880
<v Speaker 2>for the energy of communicating.

0:47:50.360 --> 0:47:52.560
<v Speaker 1>Is he's twenty five right?

0:47:53.400 --> 0:47:56.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Well he'll be twenty five in September.

0:47:57.120 --> 0:47:59.160
<v Speaker 1>Sorry if you mentioned this, Sorry about is he Is

0:47:59.200 --> 0:48:02.319
<v Speaker 1>he been like this his whole life? Or was it

0:48:02.360 --> 0:48:04.920
<v Speaker 1>something that developed, it's.

0:48:04.760 --> 0:48:07.719
<v Speaker 2>Gotten like worse through his whole life. So it's like

0:48:07.800 --> 0:48:11.799
<v Speaker 2>every year he's had some sort of medical complication, not

0:48:11.840 --> 0:48:14.640
<v Speaker 2>necessarily every year, but pretty much every year, and so

0:48:14.719 --> 0:48:19.279
<v Speaker 2>it's like usually one thing at a time. So when

0:48:19.280 --> 0:48:22.720
<v Speaker 2>he was little, little, like there was barely anything wrong,

0:48:22.880 --> 0:48:27.040
<v Speaker 2>so to speak. And then as he or his body

0:48:27.120 --> 0:48:29.360
<v Speaker 2>just like couldn't keep up. Like if you're in a

0:48:29.400 --> 0:48:33.440
<v Speaker 2>wheelchair and you don't like walk around and move your muscles,

0:48:33.480 --> 0:48:37.520
<v Speaker 2>then your muscles atrophy. So his body has just been

0:48:37.560 --> 0:48:39.440
<v Speaker 2>like falling apart his whole life.

0:48:41.239 --> 0:48:44.120
<v Speaker 1>What was your what was your guys relationship? Like like uh,

0:48:44.480 --> 0:48:47.920
<v Speaker 1>growing up, we actually.

0:48:47.719 --> 0:48:52.719
<v Speaker 2>Didn't realize that he was not also mentally handicapped until

0:48:52.719 --> 0:48:56.000
<v Speaker 2>he was like fourteen, So that was the first time

0:48:56.040 --> 0:49:00.480
<v Speaker 2>he ever typed a sentence before that. Like we were chill,

0:49:00.560 --> 0:49:02.359
<v Speaker 2>but I didn't know he was in there, you know,

0:49:02.560 --> 0:49:04.799
<v Speaker 2>so like we would hang out, watch movies, whatever. But

0:49:05.680 --> 0:49:08.799
<v Speaker 2>like I was like, how quick can this relationship be?

0:49:09.040 --> 0:49:12.760
<v Speaker 2>Like I don't know. We thought he was a vegetable,

0:49:12.840 --> 0:49:14.160
<v Speaker 2>and then it was like, oh my gosh, he's not

0:49:14.200 --> 0:49:16.480
<v Speaker 2>a vegetable. He's a real kid. He's in there and

0:49:16.800 --> 0:49:20.400
<v Speaker 2>can talk and tell us things, And I have a

0:49:20.400 --> 0:49:24.319
<v Speaker 2>lot of guilt for like not being around more, but

0:49:25.400 --> 0:49:27.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to just let go of that and be

0:49:27.920 --> 0:49:29.920
<v Speaker 2>around as much as I want to instead.

0:49:31.160 --> 0:49:36.520
<v Speaker 1>Does he have a nice relationship with your stepmom and

0:49:36.560 --> 0:49:36.959
<v Speaker 1>your mom?

0:49:38.120 --> 0:49:38.359
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:49:38.400 --> 0:49:42.120
<v Speaker 2>I think so. I think they so. During the pandemic,

0:49:42.120 --> 0:49:44.880
<v Speaker 2>it was pretty rough because there was the shortage of

0:49:44.880 --> 0:49:47.080
<v Speaker 2>healthcare workers and so it was literally just my mom

0:49:47.120 --> 0:49:49.520
<v Speaker 2>and my stepdad taking care of him twenty four to seven,

0:49:49.920 --> 0:49:52.520
<v Speaker 2>and they all got burnt out from each other. Now

0:49:52.560 --> 0:49:54.560
<v Speaker 2>they have like nursing care in the house again, and

0:49:54.640 --> 0:49:56.879
<v Speaker 2>so I feel like the relationship is much better, not

0:49:57.080 --> 0:49:59.600
<v Speaker 2>just between like my brother and my parents, but even

0:49:59.640 --> 0:50:01.600
<v Speaker 2>between my mom and my stepdad. Like I feel like

0:50:01.680 --> 0:50:04.320
<v Speaker 2>they finally get a break from caregiving.

0:50:04.400 --> 0:50:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Now, wait, where are you right now? By the way,

0:50:09.640 --> 0:50:10.120
<v Speaker 1>I hear a lot.

0:50:10.080 --> 0:50:11.720
<v Speaker 2>Of people, I'm in the hospital lobby.

0:50:11.880 --> 0:50:18.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah right, you mentioned that. What forgive me if you

0:50:18.080 --> 0:50:20.160
<v Speaker 1>mentioned this already? But what's up with your dad?

0:50:21.840 --> 0:50:24.879
<v Speaker 2>My dad is a chill guy. He and my mom

0:50:24.920 --> 0:50:27.600
<v Speaker 2>got divorced when I was young and my brother was young,

0:50:27.719 --> 0:50:32.319
<v Speaker 2>so my brother is his biological child. Also, he's remarried.

0:50:32.800 --> 0:50:38.759
<v Speaker 2>He lives with his wife in small town Indiana.

0:50:37.480 --> 0:50:39.960
<v Speaker 1>And uh are you is he? Do you guys? Like,

0:50:40.840 --> 0:50:43.040
<v Speaker 1>are you guys cool? And you're cool with his uh

0:50:43.520 --> 0:50:44.320
<v Speaker 1>his wife and everything.

0:50:44.440 --> 0:50:48.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, we're cool. He wasn't around a ton when

0:50:48.480 --> 0:50:50.319
<v Speaker 2>I was growing up because he had work stuff and

0:50:50.400 --> 0:50:52.640
<v Speaker 2>I was with my mom, who's his ex wife, And

0:50:53.400 --> 0:50:56.799
<v Speaker 2>I have a lot of just like grace and understanding

0:50:56.880 --> 0:50:59.399
<v Speaker 2>for that. And I talk a lot lately about how,

0:50:59.480 --> 0:51:02.080
<v Speaker 2>like my dad, my relationship now that I'm an adult

0:51:02.160 --> 0:51:04.239
<v Speaker 2>is so much better. And then my mom kind of

0:51:04.320 --> 0:51:07.239
<v Speaker 2>jokes like, well, that's because you lowered your standards, but like, yeah,

0:51:07.280 --> 0:51:09.640
<v Speaker 2>it is because I lowered my standards because like my

0:51:09.719 --> 0:51:12.880
<v Speaker 2>dad never asked to have me, like they just got pregnant.

0:51:13.200 --> 0:51:15.840
<v Speaker 2>He did the best he could and left his wife

0:51:15.920 --> 0:51:19.120
<v Speaker 2>and still like showed up for me. So yeah, I

0:51:19.120 --> 0:51:22.600
<v Speaker 2>did lower my standards. I'm cool with that. But he

0:51:22.640 --> 0:51:26.919
<v Speaker 2>and my brother haven't really been able to see each other,

0:51:26.960 --> 0:51:30.200
<v Speaker 2>like since my mom and them moved out here to Maryland.

0:51:30.280 --> 0:51:32.759
<v Speaker 2>They used to live in Indiana. Also, m m.

0:51:36.360 --> 0:51:42.440
<v Speaker 1>Hmmm. I'm trying to think, was there anything else you

0:51:42.480 --> 0:51:47.560
<v Speaker 1>wanted to you wanted to mention about your your your brother,

0:51:47.840 --> 0:51:50.439
<v Speaker 1>your family or you know kind of anything at all

0:51:50.480 --> 0:51:53.759
<v Speaker 1>before uh we get into uh I want to let

0:51:53.760 --> 0:51:55.359
<v Speaker 1>you do your plugs?

0:51:55.760 --> 0:51:59.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, gosh, I don't think so. I'm just I'm

0:51:59.800 --> 0:52:01.240
<v Speaker 2>so thrilled we got to talk today.

0:52:01.560 --> 0:52:05.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Absolutely, here what's okay?

0:52:05.120 --> 0:52:05.279
<v Speaker 2>So?

0:52:06.160 --> 0:52:11.080
<v Speaker 1>What where do? If people want your your coaching services

0:52:11.200 --> 0:52:12.879
<v Speaker 1>or yeah, any of these stings.

0:52:14.680 --> 0:52:17.239
<v Speaker 2>If you want help with your self care or your

0:52:17.239 --> 0:52:20.480
<v Speaker 2>passion project or your small business, you can follow me

0:52:20.520 --> 0:52:23.680
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram at Cat Makes Stickers. That's cat lob K.

0:52:25.080 --> 0:52:26.879
<v Speaker 2>From there, you can check out my website if you want,

0:52:27.040 --> 0:52:29.880
<v Speaker 2>or just follow. I also well buy the name. You

0:52:29.920 --> 0:52:33.560
<v Speaker 2>can tell make Stickers as my like lead generating thing,

0:52:33.640 --> 0:52:35.880
<v Speaker 2>so you can also see the stickers I've been designing

0:52:35.920 --> 0:52:36.520
<v Speaker 2>and working on.

0:52:37.239 --> 0:52:41.560
<v Speaker 1>Cat Makes Stickers. There's no no no x's or underscores

0:52:41.640 --> 0:52:45.080
<v Speaker 1>or numbers or anything. Just Cat Makes Stickers straight. Yep,

0:52:45.120 --> 0:52:46.640
<v Speaker 1>pretty good. What kind of stickers do you make?

0:52:48.760 --> 0:52:51.000
<v Speaker 2>Whatever? I feel like just like fun stuff. Today I

0:52:51.040 --> 0:52:55.120
<v Speaker 2>was working on a sticker of my mom's pets, but

0:52:55.239 --> 0:52:57.960
<v Speaker 2>in the style of like the Stardeo Valley Pets.

0:52:59.480 --> 0:53:02.560
<v Speaker 1>Here, hold on, I'm gonna I'm gonna is it? Is

0:53:02.600 --> 0:53:05.279
<v Speaker 1>it embarrassing? If I check this out? While we're on

0:53:05.320 --> 0:53:18.360
<v Speaker 1>the phone. No, okay, cool, Uh stickers, Cat makes stickers cool?

0:53:18.760 --> 0:53:21.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh you gotta Oh this is cool? Oh hell yeah,

0:53:21.680 --> 0:53:25.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh you got the Powerpuff Girls. Oh hell yeah, you're

0:53:26.000 --> 0:53:27.080
<v Speaker 1>really doing it. This is sick.

0:53:28.320 --> 0:53:29.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying, man.

0:53:30.080 --> 0:53:31.919
<v Speaker 1>This is like for helping folks.

0:53:31.560 --> 0:53:34.359
<v Speaker 2>With like yes I am, I am really doing it.

0:53:34.800 --> 0:53:38.200
<v Speaker 1>This is this is like helping folks with like ADHD

0:53:38.320 --> 0:53:43.120
<v Speaker 1>and shit like that. Okay, sick, sick. No, well, look,

0:53:43.160 --> 0:53:44.920
<v Speaker 1>I'll say this just by talking to you, is that

0:53:45.000 --> 0:53:47.759
<v Speaker 1>I I I really enjoyed talking to you.

0:53:47.840 --> 0:53:48.040
<v Speaker 2>Cat.

0:53:48.080 --> 0:53:52.560
<v Speaker 1>You're very I can just you know, from the hour

0:53:52.760 --> 0:53:54.839
<v Speaker 1>ish that we got to talk, I can tell you're

0:53:54.960 --> 0:53:57.800
<v Speaker 1>very empathetic, understanding persons.

0:53:57.880 --> 0:54:02.680
<v Speaker 2>So wow, I I I'm gonna quote you on my website.

0:54:02.880 --> 0:54:05.440
<v Speaker 1>You know what I full you can, I will, I

0:54:05.480 --> 0:54:08.239
<v Speaker 1>will endorse you. I will. This is I will give

0:54:08.320 --> 0:54:11.360
<v Speaker 1>I have a full I don't know if what we

0:54:11.520 --> 0:54:14.480
<v Speaker 1>I guess what we just did counts as some form

0:54:14.520 --> 0:54:17.080
<v Speaker 1>of a one to one conversation, and so I will

0:54:17.120 --> 0:54:21.280
<v Speaker 1>give you. I will give you a an official endorsement.

0:54:22.960 --> 0:54:25.319
<v Speaker 1>Put me on the put me on the back of

0:54:25.440 --> 0:54:31.919
<v Speaker 1>whatever CDs you put out, or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, Cat,

0:54:32.000 --> 0:54:33.239
<v Speaker 1>is anything else you want to say to the people

0:54:33.239 --> 0:54:34.200
<v Speaker 1>of the computer before we go.

0:54:35.680 --> 0:54:40.879
<v Speaker 2>You know what, No, I feel good.

0:54:41.080 --> 0:54:45.000
<v Speaker 1>This was great, perfect, Thank you Cat, having a good

0:54:45.000 --> 0:54:46.160
<v Speaker 1>rest of the day.

0:54:46.440 --> 0:54:48.040
<v Speaker 2>You too, Bye bye.

0:54:50.160 --> 0:54:52.279
<v Speaker 1>That was a great conversation. I I I love I

0:54:52.320 --> 0:54:56.360
<v Speaker 1>love talking to that person. That was That was great.

0:54:57.040 --> 0:55:01.560
<v Speaker 1>That was really great. No, definitely, I hope she gets

0:55:01.600 --> 0:55:03.640
<v Speaker 1>some busy that would be That would be super cool

0:55:03.680 --> 0:55:05.640
<v Speaker 1>to me if she got some business off of this,

0:55:07.880 --> 0:55:10.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna cool. One of my favorite things now is like,

0:55:10.320 --> 0:55:15.440
<v Speaker 1>if somebody I love, like, if somebody shouts out their

0:55:15.480 --> 0:55:20.160
<v Speaker 1>ship on the podcast, I'll like, after I released the episode,

0:55:20.160 --> 0:55:23.600
<v Speaker 1>I'll wait a few days and then I'll go to

0:55:23.680 --> 0:55:26.360
<v Speaker 1>their Instagram and I'll like, I like, I'll see the

0:55:26.640 --> 0:55:28.440
<v Speaker 1>look at the comments and there'll be a bunch of

0:55:28.440 --> 0:55:30.759
<v Speaker 1>people being like, GEX sent me here, and I'll be like,

0:55:30.800 --> 0:55:34.040
<v Speaker 1>that's sick. I did that with the There was the

0:55:34.040 --> 0:55:36.640
<v Speaker 1>there was of course the cave guy, and then there

0:55:36.800 --> 0:55:43.799
<v Speaker 1>was the woman on the boat. And yeah, it's cool.

0:55:43.800 --> 0:55:48.239
<v Speaker 1>It's cool watching uh like their followers go up and ship.

0:55:50.800 --> 0:55:53.880
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, yeah, shout out, shout out CAT makes stickers.

0:55:54.280 --> 0:56:01.719
<v Speaker 1>That was a good conversation. Yeah. The more I don't

0:56:01.760 --> 0:56:06.680
<v Speaker 1>know the more the more. I I don't know that

0:56:06.800 --> 0:56:08.160
<v Speaker 1>was I don't know if I have any post call

0:56:08.239 --> 0:56:12.759
<v Speaker 1>thoughts Aside from that, I think everything everything that was

0:56:12.800 --> 0:56:21.480
<v Speaker 1>said is is was good. That was good. Hello, Hello, Hey,

0:56:21.480 --> 0:56:22.040
<v Speaker 1>what's your name?

0:56:23.040 --> 0:56:23.920
<v Speaker 4>My name is Scott.

0:56:24.760 --> 0:56:28.720
<v Speaker 1>Scott what a Yeah?

0:56:28.880 --> 0:56:32.600
<v Speaker 4>And I started a weed journal in chat GPT last night,

0:56:33.040 --> 0:56:35.759
<v Speaker 4>and like it's really weird because I feel like I've

0:56:35.800 --> 0:56:38.640
<v Speaker 4>been more honest with it than like most of my

0:56:38.719 --> 0:56:40.000
<v Speaker 4>therapists I've ever had.

0:56:40.920 --> 0:56:46.319
<v Speaker 1>You started a weed journal in chat GPT. Yeah, Okay,

0:56:46.360 --> 0:56:48.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna make some I'm gonna make some guesses as

0:56:48.360 --> 0:56:54.320
<v Speaker 1>to what a weed journal is. First guess, a journal

0:56:54.800 --> 0:56:57.520
<v Speaker 1>that you do while you are high on weed.

0:56:59.080 --> 0:56:59.560
<v Speaker 2>Essentially?

0:56:59.840 --> 0:57:03.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Is that wait? Essentially? Or what's a weed joke?

0:57:03.160 --> 0:57:08.080
<v Speaker 4>Well, I mean I haven't I have to do a

0:57:08.080 --> 0:57:10.960
<v Speaker 4>bunch of shit already. So I'm like keep track of

0:57:11.040 --> 0:57:14.840
<v Speaker 4>what I have, keep track of what I've smoked in

0:57:14.880 --> 0:57:17.600
<v Speaker 4>the past, and like what I've said about it, and

0:57:17.640 --> 0:57:22.400
<v Speaker 4>then kind of like asking me questions about like why

0:57:22.440 --> 0:57:25.480
<v Speaker 4>I'm smoking and how I'm feeling and stuff, because you know,

0:57:25.600 --> 0:57:27.240
<v Speaker 4>I know a lot of people in the show say

0:57:27.240 --> 0:57:30.200
<v Speaker 4>they feel like they smoke too much weed and I'm

0:57:30.280 --> 0:57:33.320
<v Speaker 4>kind of trying to figure out if I smoke too

0:57:33.360 --> 0:57:35.160
<v Speaker 4>much or if it's actually helping.

0:57:38.400 --> 0:57:43.160
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So you so you tell it that, like you're like, Okay,

0:57:43.200 --> 0:57:46.760
<v Speaker 1>I smoked this strain and this is how I'm feeling,

0:57:46.920 --> 0:57:48.920
<v Speaker 1>and it's like, okay, got it, memory updated?

0:57:50.440 --> 0:57:51.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, pretty much?

0:57:52.120 --> 0:57:57.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, and then you journal with it.

0:57:58.680 --> 0:58:01.480
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you know, to give my life prompts checking in

0:58:01.560 --> 0:58:03.920
<v Speaker 4>at like fifteen minutes after a smoke and in like

0:58:03.960 --> 0:58:05.360
<v Speaker 4>an hour after a smoke.

0:58:06.000 --> 0:58:07.320
<v Speaker 1>All right, has it been gone?

0:58:08.600 --> 0:58:18.440
<v Speaker 4>Uh. It's kind of like getting me to kind of

0:58:18.480 --> 0:58:21.640
<v Speaker 4>like experience it more because I kind of always felt

0:58:21.680 --> 0:58:25.760
<v Speaker 4>like I don't really get like the stereotypical life high,

0:58:26.040 --> 0:58:29.600
<v Speaker 4>you know, like the giggles, the munchies, you know, couch

0:58:29.680 --> 0:58:33.880
<v Speaker 4>flock shit like that. But I still have, you know,

0:58:34.200 --> 0:58:36.880
<v Speaker 4>been smoking and you know kind of just does to

0:58:36.960 --> 0:58:39.840
<v Speaker 4>make it through the day and stuff. So I think

0:58:40.000 --> 0:58:43.040
<v Speaker 4>kind of paying attention to it more is making me

0:58:43.080 --> 0:58:48.240
<v Speaker 4>feel the effects more. And it's also like, I don't know,

0:58:48.400 --> 0:58:51.520
<v Speaker 4>just exposing some of my insecurities the way I'm like

0:58:51.680 --> 0:58:55.880
<v Speaker 4>reflecting on some of the aspects of my life. I'm

0:58:55.880 --> 0:58:58.320
<v Speaker 4>trying to you know, with more when I smoke or

0:58:58.520 --> 0:59:00.960
<v Speaker 4>you know, like I said, smoking too much stuff like that.

0:59:01.920 --> 0:59:05.480
<v Speaker 1>Uh are you saying that uh Ai is exposing your

0:59:05.480 --> 0:59:07.840
<v Speaker 1>insecurities or weed is exposing your insecurities.

0:59:10.080 --> 0:59:15.360
<v Speaker 4>The way I'm conversing with AI is because I guess

0:59:15.400 --> 0:59:17.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't have the social pressure of it being an

0:59:17.040 --> 0:59:19.560
<v Speaker 4>actual person, so I'm kind of like it's more like

0:59:19.880 --> 0:59:23.440
<v Speaker 4>thinking to myself or like you know something like that.

0:59:23.520 --> 0:59:23.920
<v Speaker 4>Kind of.

0:59:27.120 --> 0:59:33.760
<v Speaker 1>Yes, interesting, Well, yeah, I mean that's what by the way,

0:59:33.920 --> 0:59:37.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, look, I've gone back and forth, you know,

0:59:37.400 --> 0:59:39.720
<v Speaker 1>in my real life, like with my friends debating about

0:59:39.760 --> 0:59:44.960
<v Speaker 1>AI and you know, reading about you know, environmental things

0:59:45.040 --> 0:59:49.919
<v Speaker 1>and whatnot. But like, but I get like, but I mean, look,

0:59:50.640 --> 0:59:52.600
<v Speaker 1>I use I use I use it every day. I

0:59:52.720 --> 0:59:55.280
<v Speaker 1>use it every day to like do this ship and

0:59:57.400 --> 1:00:02.680
<v Speaker 1>it does like help you think. My friend refers to

1:00:02.720 --> 1:00:07.760
<v Speaker 1>it as journaling squared and I can't exactly explain what

1:00:07.800 --> 1:00:10.040
<v Speaker 1>he what that means. But then when he said it,

1:00:10.040 --> 1:00:12.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, that makes perfect sense. It's like thinking to myself,

1:00:12.600 --> 1:00:16.760
<v Speaker 1>but having something like reflect back at me. It's not good.

1:00:17.120 --> 1:00:19.360
<v Speaker 1>Don't use it. I don't think it's good to use

1:00:19.400 --> 1:00:23.600
<v Speaker 1>as a friend or a partner. I think that's where

1:00:23.600 --> 1:00:25.720
<v Speaker 1>people can get tripped up because you don't want to

1:00:25.760 --> 1:00:28.360
<v Speaker 1>do that. But you know it's not it's not it's

1:00:28.400 --> 1:00:31.959
<v Speaker 1>a good partner for you know, helping helping you think,

1:00:32.080 --> 1:00:35.280
<v Speaker 1>not necessarily. I this is just my experience. I don't

1:00:35.320 --> 1:00:37.400
<v Speaker 1>want to I know this stuff is like controversial, but

1:00:38.960 --> 1:00:42.880
<v Speaker 1>it's like, yeah, for me, it it it. It doesn't

1:00:42.920 --> 1:00:45.720
<v Speaker 1>like think for me, I'm not like, I don't fart

1:00:45.800 --> 1:00:48.919
<v Speaker 1>into it and then it farts back something and I'm like, great,

1:00:48.960 --> 1:00:50.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't have to think anymore. I use it as

1:00:50.440 --> 1:00:53.360
<v Speaker 1>a tool to help me think and reflect and introspect

1:00:53.360 --> 1:00:56.040
<v Speaker 1>and whatnot. And I assume that's what you're doing with

1:00:56.080 --> 1:00:56.400
<v Speaker 1>this we.

1:00:56.600 --> 1:01:01.200
<v Speaker 4>Journal Yeah, that journaling square makes a lot of sense

1:01:01.240 --> 1:01:04.240
<v Speaker 4>to me. Like I feel like journaling is like two

1:01:04.280 --> 1:01:06.000
<v Speaker 4>open ended, Like I don't know what the hell to

1:01:06.080 --> 1:01:09.240
<v Speaker 4>write about, so like having telling it to ask me

1:01:09.360 --> 1:01:12.920
<v Speaker 4>questions and then kind of summarize that information back to

1:01:12.960 --> 1:01:16.320
<v Speaker 4>me at some point, you know, to say trends or

1:01:16.400 --> 1:01:20.120
<v Speaker 4>you know whatever. Like so it's kind of like it's

1:01:20.160 --> 1:01:24.280
<v Speaker 4>doing the analysis of me, doing my own analysis of

1:01:24.360 --> 1:01:25.480
<v Speaker 4>myself kind of.

1:01:28.440 --> 1:01:33.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm gonna I know a fuck. I know

1:01:33.840 --> 1:01:38.560
<v Speaker 1>this is controversial and maybe I'm an idiot for saying

1:01:38.600 --> 1:01:41.840
<v Speaker 1>this publicly, because I might eat my words many years

1:01:41.840 --> 1:01:45.840
<v Speaker 1>from now. But this is just my thought process of it,

1:01:45.880 --> 1:01:51.760
<v Speaker 1>because my friends say that. I had a friend who

1:01:51.800 --> 1:01:55.160
<v Speaker 1>said that we are the last generation that will have

1:01:55.200 --> 1:02:03.040
<v Speaker 1>critical thinking skills because of AI, and I think, I

1:02:03.080 --> 1:02:07.960
<v Speaker 1>think that's a bold statement to make. And he may

1:02:07.960 --> 1:02:09.520
<v Speaker 1>be write and maybe there are people who are more

1:02:09.560 --> 1:02:15.280
<v Speaker 1>researched on this than I am, but I don't know.

1:02:15.520 --> 1:02:21.000
<v Speaker 1>For me, I think it's not replaced. I I mean,

1:02:21.000 --> 1:02:23.080
<v Speaker 1>you could look at it. It is like a thing

1:02:23.160 --> 1:02:28.520
<v Speaker 1>that is again like helping you think because you're thinking

1:02:28.560 --> 1:02:33.000
<v Speaker 1>with it. It's not like it's not telling you. I

1:02:33.000 --> 1:02:34.800
<v Speaker 1>mean if you look if you're like if you use

1:02:34.840 --> 1:02:39.120
<v Speaker 1>it to write poems for yourself and then you post

1:02:39.120 --> 1:02:41.440
<v Speaker 1>the poems on Instagram and you're like, look at these poems.

1:02:41.440 --> 1:02:45.320
<v Speaker 1>I think that's stupid, like doing shit like that, and

1:02:45.360 --> 1:02:47.200
<v Speaker 1>people do shit like that, and people use it to

1:02:47.280 --> 1:02:51.200
<v Speaker 1>like do create. I like, like using it to like

1:02:51.480 --> 1:02:57.919
<v Speaker 1>do creative work, I think is lame. I think that's antithetical. Yeah,

1:02:57.920 --> 1:03:01.520
<v Speaker 1>I think I think using it to like create artificial

1:03:01.840 --> 1:03:05.680
<v Speaker 1>art is dumb. And I don't I actually I don't

1:03:05.680 --> 1:03:09.440
<v Speaker 1>know if it will ever even get to the point

1:03:09.680 --> 1:03:17.640
<v Speaker 1>where it creates good artificial art. And if and if

1:03:17.680 --> 1:03:20.760
<v Speaker 1>it is creating good artificial art, it's doing it with

1:03:21.160 --> 1:03:25.160
<v Speaker 1>the guidance of a human who is refining it and

1:03:25.280 --> 1:03:30.960
<v Speaker 1>prompting it in ways that are art full, I suppose,

1:03:31.360 --> 1:03:33.400
<v Speaker 1>but in the way that it sounds like you and

1:03:33.440 --> 1:03:36.000
<v Speaker 1>I use it to like kind of as a sounding

1:03:36.040 --> 1:03:45.480
<v Speaker 1>board for reflection. I think, is yeah, is is you know,

1:03:46.800 --> 1:03:47.400
<v Speaker 1>is useful?

1:03:48.960 --> 1:03:49.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

1:03:50.120 --> 1:03:52.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean I don't know, it might yes, sorry, go ahead,

1:03:52.520 --> 1:03:54.360
<v Speaker 1>go ahead, just.

1:03:54.800 --> 1:03:57.600
<v Speaker 4>You listen to this podcast called Pessimist Archives. I think

1:03:57.640 --> 1:03:59.880
<v Speaker 4>it changed the name and the format then that's why

1:03:59.880 --> 1:04:02.720
<v Speaker 4>I off. But like it kind of started off as like,

1:04:03.840 --> 1:04:06.200
<v Speaker 4>you know, saying like, well, I think the first episode

1:04:06.280 --> 1:04:08.960
<v Speaker 4>was trying to find out like when was America great,

1:04:09.160 --> 1:04:11.400
<v Speaker 4>like that we're trying to make it great again, and

1:04:11.480 --> 1:04:14.360
<v Speaker 4>it's like, you know, it went back to World War

1:04:14.400 --> 1:04:16.120
<v Speaker 4>two or whatever, and then they were saying times were

1:04:16.160 --> 1:04:17.680
<v Speaker 4>great then, and then you know whatever I want. I

1:04:17.680 --> 1:04:19.040
<v Speaker 4>think it went like all the way back to like

1:04:19.200 --> 1:04:21.640
<v Speaker 4>medieval times, and they were like, you know, essentially the

1:04:21.680 --> 1:04:25.960
<v Speaker 4>conclusions like everyone always thinks that times were better in

1:04:26.000 --> 1:04:30.240
<v Speaker 4>the past. And I'm also like, I think you know,

1:04:30.440 --> 1:04:33.360
<v Speaker 4>like kind of the reaction to books is similar. Original

1:04:33.360 --> 1:04:35.080
<v Speaker 4>reaction to books was kind of similar to like the

1:04:35.120 --> 1:04:38.280
<v Speaker 4>initial reaction to computers and stuff like that. So it's

1:04:38.320 --> 1:04:43.560
<v Speaker 4>it's weird kind of like loop generational loop, uh where

1:04:43.640 --> 1:04:45.680
<v Speaker 4>kind of everyone thinks what's super one the better.

1:04:47.320 --> 1:04:50.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm willing, you know, I'm willing to be checked on this.

1:04:51.000 --> 1:04:54.480
<v Speaker 1>Let them, let the let the fucking record show. I'm

1:04:54.480 --> 1:04:56.720
<v Speaker 1>willing to be checked on this. But I just while

1:04:56.800 --> 1:04:59.440
<v Speaker 1>while you and I are talking about it, I I

1:04:59.600 --> 1:05:02.280
<v Speaker 1>really what you just said resonates with me super hard.

1:05:02.280 --> 1:05:06.840
<v Speaker 1>I really think every I think every generation thinks that

1:05:06.880 --> 1:05:10.880
<v Speaker 1>the previous generation is stupid. Isn't that what keeps Isn't

1:05:10.880 --> 1:05:14.480
<v Speaker 1>that what keeps happening? Like like like all those like articles

1:05:14.520 --> 1:05:17.080
<v Speaker 1>being like, well, millennials don't want to work anymore, Millennials

1:05:17.080 --> 1:05:19.600
<v Speaker 1>spend all their money on like avocado toast. It's like

1:05:19.920 --> 1:05:21.840
<v Speaker 1>the boomers thought the millennials were stupid, and then the

1:05:21.840 --> 1:05:24.600
<v Speaker 1>millennials think the gen zers, and then we think that,

1:05:24.640 --> 1:05:26.920
<v Speaker 1>like does doesn't that just keep happening? Isn't that like

1:05:26.960 --> 1:05:30.800
<v Speaker 1>a cycle of like, yeah, everyone every generation thinks the

1:05:30.840 --> 1:05:36.720
<v Speaker 1>previous generation is fucked and stupid? There's certain and like, look,

1:05:36.840 --> 1:05:39.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean there's certain things that are like I think,

1:05:39.920 --> 1:05:48.000
<v Speaker 1>like undeniably true. These aren't but these aren't black and

1:05:48.040 --> 1:05:51.600
<v Speaker 1>white things. You can't just maybe they are. I don't know.

1:05:51.720 --> 1:05:54.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean I say all this stuff, and then someone

1:05:54.200 --> 1:05:57.840
<v Speaker 1>sends me a link being like, hey, there's empirical data

1:05:57.880 --> 1:06:00.840
<v Speaker 1>to show that suicide rates are up and oppression is

1:06:01.000 --> 1:06:04.120
<v Speaker 1>up and anxiety is up. So we have actual data

1:06:04.160 --> 1:06:06.600
<v Speaker 1>to show that times were better before. And I'm like,

1:06:06.640 --> 1:06:09.960
<v Speaker 1>ah shit, maybe, I.

1:06:09.880 --> 1:06:10.720
<v Speaker 4>Mean it's all relative.

1:06:10.760 --> 1:06:14.400
<v Speaker 1>I guess it's all relative. I don't know. You could

1:06:14.400 --> 1:06:18.200
<v Speaker 1>probably have some fucking chart. Yeah, actually, now I think

1:06:18.200 --> 1:06:20.800
<v Speaker 1>about it, Yeah, there are probably a lot of there's

1:06:20.800 --> 1:06:23.680
<v Speaker 1>probably a lot of like again, empirical data that can

1:06:23.720 --> 1:06:26.000
<v Speaker 1>be like no, no, no, these aren't feelings. We can actually

1:06:26.200 --> 1:06:31.200
<v Speaker 1>prove logistically that the quality of people's lives were better

1:06:32.240 --> 1:06:35.560
<v Speaker 1>in this period of time. And and and then I

1:06:35.560 --> 1:06:37.320
<v Speaker 1>look at stuff like that and it makes me. It

1:06:37.400 --> 1:06:43.120
<v Speaker 1>makes me less optimistic, but I don't know.

1:06:43.080 --> 1:06:46.880
<v Speaker 4>Something done. It's also like, well, what about you know,

1:06:47.200 --> 1:06:49.600
<v Speaker 4>if you think about you know, America in the fifties

1:06:49.680 --> 1:06:51.560
<v Speaker 4>or whatever, like it might have been better for white

1:06:51.600 --> 1:06:52.840
<v Speaker 4>people but not black people.

1:06:52.960 --> 1:06:53.160
<v Speaker 5>You know.

1:06:53.280 --> 1:06:56.000
<v Speaker 4>So it's like that goes back to it being like relative.

1:06:56.120 --> 1:06:59.320
<v Speaker 4>It's like there's never going to be well. I mean,

1:07:00.520 --> 1:07:02.320
<v Speaker 4>I feel like the idea of peace has like gon

1:07:02.360 --> 1:07:04.800
<v Speaker 4>out the windows since like nine eleven, So, you know,

1:07:05.000 --> 1:07:06.640
<v Speaker 4>I feels like there's never going to be like a

1:07:07.600 --> 1:07:11.840
<v Speaker 4>you know, utopian world where everyone you know, even though

1:07:11.840 --> 1:07:14.920
<v Speaker 4>that's kind of the goal, and hopefully one generation you

1:07:15.000 --> 1:07:17.880
<v Speaker 4>know that even if they say some stuff is shitty,

1:07:18.240 --> 1:07:21.200
<v Speaker 4>you know, like then the next generation will still have

1:07:21.440 --> 1:07:23.480
<v Speaker 4>other stuff that they push forward even if they bring

1:07:23.560 --> 1:07:26.320
<v Speaker 4>some stuff back. So it's like hopefully, you know, the

1:07:26.400 --> 1:07:30.800
<v Speaker 4>averages progress forward in the end, but it doesn't really

1:07:30.840 --> 1:07:31.800
<v Speaker 4>feel like it always.

1:07:34.560 --> 1:07:39.600
<v Speaker 1>These are big questions.

1:07:41.080 --> 1:07:41.320
<v Speaker 3>Mmm.

1:07:44.080 --> 1:07:46.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's a big questions to think about. Maybe I

1:07:46.600 --> 1:07:50.520
<v Speaker 1>should get some like experts on the podcast. I feel

1:07:50.520 --> 1:07:55.320
<v Speaker 1>like I'm always just like spinning my own wheels on

1:07:55.400 --> 1:07:58.360
<v Speaker 1>a lot of this shit I'd love to like because

1:07:58.680 --> 1:08:00.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, the more I research and more I like,

1:08:00.680 --> 1:08:03.760
<v Speaker 1>look shit up, I'm like okay, because I'm always like,

1:08:03.760 --> 1:08:10.600
<v Speaker 1>all right, there seems to be smart people who come

1:08:10.720 --> 1:08:17.080
<v Speaker 1>up with like two smart well researched people can come

1:08:17.160 --> 1:08:24.040
<v Speaker 1>up with different visions for the future. You know, I mean,

1:08:24.080 --> 1:08:26.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. People are saying like, I don't know,

1:08:26.680 --> 1:08:28.960
<v Speaker 1>man like people people are saying like the dollar is

1:08:29.000 --> 1:08:32.479
<v Speaker 1>going to collapse and the end of the world is here.

1:08:32.640 --> 1:08:36.760
<v Speaker 1>And then there's people being like, you know on the

1:08:36.800 --> 1:08:43.160
<v Speaker 1>thing of like well yeah, yeah, everyone every generation says

1:08:43.200 --> 1:08:46.559
<v Speaker 1>that the previous generation was fucked, and then you can

1:08:46.600 --> 1:08:48.920
<v Speaker 1>be like, yeah, but this time it actually is different

1:08:48.960 --> 1:08:49.920
<v Speaker 1>because X, Y and Z.

1:08:53.160 --> 1:08:55.680
<v Speaker 4>But every generation also thinks the world is gonna end.

1:08:56.120 --> 1:08:57.840
<v Speaker 4>Remember back in twenty twelve.

1:08:58.479 --> 1:09:02.120
<v Speaker 1>Right, yeah, yeah, remember when the fucking trailer for that

1:09:02.160 --> 1:09:04.640
<v Speaker 1>movie came out. I was terrified. I really thought the

1:09:04.680 --> 1:09:06.280
<v Speaker 1>world was going to end in twenty twelve.

1:09:09.080 --> 1:09:11.040
<v Speaker 4>I remember being like on the beach by day and

1:09:11.120 --> 1:09:13.240
<v Speaker 4>just like kind of looking out at the horizon and

1:09:13.280 --> 1:09:15.880
<v Speaker 4>being like it is just a weird vibe for sure.

1:09:16.800 --> 1:09:19.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I want to have this.

1:09:20.000 --> 1:09:22.080
<v Speaker 1>I want to have this conversation because I'm trying to

1:09:22.160 --> 1:09:25.599
<v Speaker 1>check because I'm like fighting, I'm always fighting with myself

1:09:25.640 --> 1:09:34.240
<v Speaker 1>of like I want to believe that, like I want

1:09:34.280 --> 1:09:38.559
<v Speaker 1>to believe that like the world is how you see it,

1:09:38.720 --> 1:09:42.439
<v Speaker 1>and that perspective is everything, and that that applies on

1:09:42.720 --> 1:09:47.200
<v Speaker 1>like a individual level as well as a societal level.

1:09:48.200 --> 1:09:52.880
<v Speaker 1>But I'm also there's also people who could be like, hey,

1:09:52.920 --> 1:09:56.080
<v Speaker 1>you're actually a big, dumb, fucking hippie and all this

1:09:56.120 --> 1:09:58.280
<v Speaker 1>shit is happening and we don't need your hippie fucking

1:09:58.320 --> 1:10:05.120
<v Speaker 1>nonsense right now. We need X, Y and Z. So yeah,

1:10:05.160 --> 1:10:08.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I don't know, I'm wrestling with that ship.

1:10:09.160 --> 1:10:11.720
<v Speaker 4>But then, like your own perspectives can lie to you too,

1:10:11.880 --> 1:10:14.600
<v Speaker 4>you know, like when you're talking on like depressed is

1:10:14.760 --> 1:10:17.120
<v Speaker 4>like you know then, I mean in that moment, I

1:10:17.120 --> 1:10:20.960
<v Speaker 4>guess that is your world, but you know, kind of overalled.

1:10:21.160 --> 1:10:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Not necessarily.

1:10:24.840 --> 1:10:28.800
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, depression can lie to you. It can tell

1:10:28.840 --> 1:10:31.720
<v Speaker 1>you that, oh, I can tell you a lot of

1:10:32.200 --> 1:10:36.639
<v Speaker 1>your your thoughts, and your brain can lie to you,

1:10:36.760 --> 1:10:39.840
<v Speaker 1>and so and you can I I I see, I

1:10:39.880 --> 1:10:44.960
<v Speaker 1>don't see why optimism can be I mean, yeah, yeah,

1:10:45.000 --> 1:10:50.360
<v Speaker 1>optimism can be uh checked and uh dissected and pulled apart.

1:10:52.320 --> 1:10:55.400
<v Speaker 1>But so, I mean, on the same coin, so can pessimism.

1:10:55.560 --> 1:11:03.200
<v Speaker 1>So I don't know, may be fine, Everything's gonna be fine,

1:11:03.320 --> 1:11:06.200
<v Speaker 1>right probably maybe who knows what's going on in your life.

1:11:06.240 --> 1:11:08.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't know anything about you, and we've been talking

1:11:08.200 --> 1:11:11.599
<v Speaker 1>for fifteen minutes. I only know that you smoke weed

1:11:11.640 --> 1:11:12.600
<v Speaker 1>and talk to chatchybt.

1:11:13.880 --> 1:11:16.800
<v Speaker 4>Oh, I don't know. I'm tying. I got married Blake

1:11:16.840 --> 1:11:18.920
<v Speaker 4>a little less than a year ago to the person

1:11:18.960 --> 1:11:21.360
<v Speaker 4>i've been less since we're sixteen, so it'll be like

1:11:21.760 --> 1:11:23.280
<v Speaker 4>we've been together half of our lives.

1:11:23.479 --> 1:11:30.880
<v Speaker 1>The Lahaiam very good. How old are you now? I'm

1:11:30.920 --> 1:11:33.920
<v Speaker 1>thirty two, thirty two and you're married to the lady

1:11:33.960 --> 1:11:39.440
<v Speaker 1>you've fucking met when you were sixteen. Yep, okay, yeah,

1:11:39.520 --> 1:11:43.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm curious about your life because you are, like your

1:11:43.960 --> 1:11:49.759
<v Speaker 1>romantic life is the polar opposite of the previous callers

1:11:50.560 --> 1:11:54.559
<v Speaker 1>romantic life, and so I'm curious on your you have

1:11:54.640 --> 1:12:01.120
<v Speaker 1>like the exact opposite uh romantic life stories. So I'm curious.

1:12:01.400 --> 1:12:05.200
<v Speaker 1>And we got to hear her you know, struggles and

1:12:05.320 --> 1:12:10.360
<v Speaker 1>her benefits to that, and so now I'm curious you

1:12:10.439 --> 1:12:13.479
<v Speaker 1>took the opposite route of like, I am going to

1:12:13.520 --> 1:12:15.800
<v Speaker 1>commit to this person that I met when I was sixteen,

1:12:15.880 --> 1:12:19.839
<v Speaker 1>and I've now it's been sixteen years of commitment. It's interesting.

1:12:19.880 --> 1:12:21.800
<v Speaker 1>So what's going on? What's going on with you? Tell

1:12:21.840 --> 1:12:24.240
<v Speaker 1>me about that lifestyle.

1:12:25.320 --> 1:12:27.160
<v Speaker 4>I mean, it's kind of one of those things where

1:12:27.200 --> 1:12:30.360
<v Speaker 4>like I see why that sounds kind of crazy to people,

1:12:30.360 --> 1:12:34.400
<v Speaker 4>but like it just feels natural to me personally. We

1:12:34.439 --> 1:12:39.280
<v Speaker 4>actually met on like a Reptar fan page on Facebook.

1:12:39.720 --> 1:12:42.640
<v Speaker 4>I like made a comment referencing a song by this

1:12:42.720 --> 1:12:47.679
<v Speaker 4>band that references Reptar, and she like noticed it, knew

1:12:47.760 --> 1:12:49.840
<v Speaker 4>the band as well, and then saw that, you know,

1:12:49.880 --> 1:12:53.080
<v Speaker 4>we're from generally the same area. So she added me

1:12:53.120 --> 1:12:55.680
<v Speaker 4>as a friend, and literally my first words to her

1:12:55.680 --> 1:12:59.280
<v Speaker 4>where do I know you? But then from there it

1:12:59.360 --> 1:13:03.200
<v Speaker 4>turned into like a couple hours long conversation. A couple

1:13:03.240 --> 1:13:05.200
<v Speaker 4>of weeks later, we were at the same concert and

1:13:05.280 --> 1:13:08.360
<v Speaker 4>like saw each other but didn't actually interact. And then,

1:13:08.600 --> 1:13:10.439
<v Speaker 4>you know, we lived like an hour away from each other,

1:13:10.560 --> 1:13:13.920
<v Speaker 4>so we were, you know, in high school having our

1:13:13.960 --> 1:13:18.559
<v Speaker 4>parents drive us back and forth on weekends to like

1:13:18.600 --> 1:13:21.040
<v Speaker 4>see each other. Once we finally started dating months later,

1:13:23.200 --> 1:13:26.840
<v Speaker 4>and yeah, I mean there we had like a really

1:13:26.840 --> 1:13:29.680
<v Speaker 4>big fight a couple you know, like a year or

1:13:29.680 --> 1:13:32.080
<v Speaker 4>two into our relationship that you know kind of led

1:13:32.120 --> 1:13:35.439
<v Speaker 4>to some really hard times and I probably still kind

1:13:35.439 --> 1:13:39.400
<v Speaker 4>of feel the effects of it as well. And then

1:13:39.800 --> 1:13:41.920
<v Speaker 4>there was a point, you know, a couple of few

1:13:41.960 --> 1:13:44.080
<v Speaker 4>years ago where she was kind of going through some

1:13:44.720 --> 1:13:47.160
<v Speaker 4>mental health issues and you know, sort of wanted to

1:13:47.200 --> 1:13:49.360
<v Speaker 4>take a break, which you know, I gave her, like

1:13:49.800 --> 1:13:53.240
<v Speaker 4>her space, but she wanted to you know, potentially go

1:13:53.320 --> 1:13:55.400
<v Speaker 4>on a date or kiss someone else and stuff. And

1:13:55.400 --> 1:13:59.040
<v Speaker 4>that was kind of like where I drew the line.

1:13:59.560 --> 1:14:02.760
<v Speaker 4>And I don't think she necessarily wanted to do that.

1:14:02.840 --> 1:14:04.880
<v Speaker 4>I think it was kind of you know, not like

1:14:04.920 --> 1:14:07.640
<v Speaker 4>a midlife crisis, but kind of something like that and

1:14:07.760 --> 1:14:12.280
<v Speaker 4>more related to you know, mental the butsher was going

1:14:12.320 --> 1:14:15.760
<v Speaker 4>through mentally. But yeah, so I don't know. I mean,

1:14:15.800 --> 1:14:20.080
<v Speaker 4>we've lived together, we have three cats and a dog,

1:14:20.280 --> 1:14:24.840
<v Speaker 4>we've owned a house together. It's uh, I mean yeah,

1:14:24.960 --> 1:14:26.439
<v Speaker 4>like you said, it kind of goes through all the

1:14:26.640 --> 1:14:29.120
<v Speaker 4>a lot of the stereotypical kind of like beats, but

1:14:29.600 --> 1:14:31.799
<v Speaker 4>like I said, it feels it just feels natural.

1:14:32.960 --> 1:14:35.920
<v Speaker 1>Isn't that the core? I love this? But this is

1:14:35.920 --> 1:14:38.760
<v Speaker 1>one of my favorite episodes of the podcast lately because

1:14:38.840 --> 1:14:42.479
<v Speaker 1>isn't that Isn't that so cool that two completely different

1:14:42.560 --> 1:14:48.839
<v Speaker 1>lifestyles can both feel deeply natural to respective individuals. It's interesting. Yeah,

1:14:49.080 --> 1:14:50.519
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you were here when I was

1:14:50.520 --> 1:14:58.759
<v Speaker 1>talking to the previous person, that's cool to me. Okay,

1:14:58.800 --> 1:15:06.479
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck was I going to say? What do

1:15:06.560 --> 1:15:07.280
<v Speaker 1>you do for a living?

1:15:08.920 --> 1:15:13.840
<v Speaker 4>I work for a place orders for a company that

1:15:15.240 --> 1:15:19.839
<v Speaker 4>makes musical accessories and also distributes like pro audio stuff

1:15:21.000 --> 1:15:25.360
<v Speaker 4>who are like owned by a big parent company that

1:15:25.560 --> 1:15:28.559
<v Speaker 4>like trades on the British Stock Exchange or whatever. So

1:15:29.960 --> 1:15:32.920
<v Speaker 4>when I started at the job, it was a family

1:15:32.960 --> 1:15:35.479
<v Speaker 4>owned company and had been for like four years, and

1:15:35.560 --> 1:15:38.680
<v Speaker 4>then they sold like a year after, less than a

1:15:38.720 --> 1:15:40.800
<v Speaker 4>year after I was there, And so it's been a

1:15:40.800 --> 1:15:44.400
<v Speaker 4>lot of dealing with the corporate bullshit, Like, you know,

1:15:44.479 --> 1:15:47.640
<v Speaker 4>every time we have a town hall meeting, we have

1:15:47.720 --> 1:15:52.000
<v Speaker 4>to hear about the investors and how they're doing versus

1:15:53.040 --> 1:15:55.519
<v Speaker 4>you know, oh yeah, we're so good working on our

1:15:55.560 --> 1:15:58.120
<v Speaker 4>total package rewards even though we're not going to give

1:15:58.120 --> 1:16:01.520
<v Speaker 4>you a raise, you know, shit like that. So that's frustrating.

1:16:01.560 --> 1:16:03.559
<v Speaker 4>And I actually tried to start a union at one point,

1:16:03.600 --> 1:16:07.040
<v Speaker 4>but only one other person was actually had the bass

1:16:07.040 --> 1:16:07.960
<v Speaker 4>to try to join me.

1:16:10.000 --> 1:16:11.640
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, I know I moved on from this topic, but

1:16:11.680 --> 1:16:15.360
<v Speaker 1>I actually remembered what I was going to say, is

1:16:15.400 --> 1:16:19.479
<v Speaker 1>that I I think I've read I don't know if

1:16:19.520 --> 1:16:22.320
<v Speaker 1>this was a tweet or if this was like something

1:16:22.320 --> 1:16:23.200
<v Speaker 1>I saw on Instagram.

1:16:23.200 --> 1:16:23.559
<v Speaker 2>But like.

1:16:25.720 --> 1:16:31.240
<v Speaker 1>Someone said something of like I think breaking up is

1:16:31.360 --> 1:16:35.599
<v Speaker 1>like not not for everybody. Of course, this doesn't work

1:16:35.600 --> 1:16:39.679
<v Speaker 1>this way for everybody, but like for like long term couples,

1:16:39.880 --> 1:16:45.320
<v Speaker 1>like breaking up is like part of the relationship in

1:16:45.360 --> 1:16:49.040
<v Speaker 1>a way, like having a little like I know lots

1:16:49.120 --> 1:16:53.439
<v Speaker 1>of couples in successful relationships that like broke up or

1:16:53.479 --> 1:16:59.960
<v Speaker 1>like went through really hard times, and you I think

1:17:00.120 --> 1:17:04.680
<v Speaker 1>you start to realize that like going through not always

1:17:04.800 --> 1:17:09.559
<v Speaker 1>because we do live in a chaotic, random world and

1:17:09.640 --> 1:17:17.479
<v Speaker 1>sometimes a breakup truly is a breakup, but it does

1:17:17.520 --> 1:17:22.479
<v Speaker 1>seem that like you know, going through uh, like a

1:17:22.560 --> 1:17:29.520
<v Speaker 1>tough time or a disagreement is like a not not disagreement,

1:17:29.560 --> 1:17:31.120
<v Speaker 1>but I mean, you know what I mean, Like it

1:17:31.240 --> 1:17:38.800
<v Speaker 1>is a fundamental part of like the relationship process, you know,

1:17:39.560 --> 1:17:43.200
<v Speaker 1>because because that's that's it's it's because yeah, kind of

1:17:43.240 --> 1:17:45.960
<v Speaker 1>like we were talking about the previous caller is like you know,

1:17:46.200 --> 1:17:49.960
<v Speaker 1>if you're committing to somebody and you have there's like

1:17:50.600 --> 1:17:53.759
<v Speaker 1>there's just gonna kind of be like natural points of friction,

1:17:54.080 --> 1:17:56.360
<v Speaker 1>unless if you get really lucky and really aligned with

1:17:56.400 --> 1:17:59.240
<v Speaker 1>a lot, which a lot of people do. But yeah,

1:17:59.240 --> 1:18:01.320
<v Speaker 1>if you're committing yourself. There's just naturally going to be

1:18:02.120 --> 1:18:05.120
<v Speaker 1>ah friction, I think.

1:18:06.400 --> 1:18:06.800
<v Speaker 2>For sure.

1:18:06.920 --> 1:18:08.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think that's one of those things where like,

1:18:09.360 --> 1:18:11.559
<v Speaker 4>I mean, it's kind of cliche, but like can make

1:18:11.640 --> 1:18:14.920
<v Speaker 4>or break you, you know, like it shows how how

1:18:15.040 --> 1:18:18.679
<v Speaker 4>much your committee, you know, shows whether or not you feel,

1:18:18.960 --> 1:18:21.680
<v Speaker 4>you know, like life would be the same without that

1:18:21.720 --> 1:18:24.479
<v Speaker 4>person or better or worse, you know. Kind of. I

1:18:24.520 --> 1:18:29.040
<v Speaker 4>think it's, you know, also sort of a life directing

1:18:29.160 --> 1:18:32.080
<v Speaker 4>thing where it's like you kind of have to because

1:18:32.080 --> 1:18:35.200
<v Speaker 4>something's changing so drastically in moments like that, you know.

1:18:35.240 --> 1:18:38.400
<v Speaker 4>I think that's the you know, something like that day.

1:18:38.520 --> 1:18:40.800
<v Speaker 4>But it could be like, you know, kind of like

1:18:40.800 --> 1:18:44.640
<v Speaker 4>a wake up call type thing type put time to reassess,

1:18:44.800 --> 1:18:48.400
<v Speaker 4>you know, and just kind of figure out your priorities.

1:18:48.439 --> 1:18:52.280
<v Speaker 4>I guess, what.

1:18:52.360 --> 1:18:53.160
<v Speaker 1>Is your name again?

1:18:54.320 --> 1:18:54.639
<v Speaker 4>Scott?

1:18:55.600 --> 1:19:00.080
<v Speaker 1>Scott, Scott, the Wed Journal guy.

1:19:02.640 --> 1:19:03.800
<v Speaker 4>We'll forever be known as that.

1:19:05.240 --> 1:19:07.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to if I have any other questions to

1:19:07.160 --> 1:19:13.599
<v Speaker 1>ask you, Scott. Let's see, how long have we been talking.

1:19:13.600 --> 1:19:20.000
<v Speaker 1>We've been talking for about twenty three minutes. Okay, so

1:19:20.160 --> 1:19:23.240
<v Speaker 1>you what okay, well, all right, let me ask you

1:19:23.280 --> 1:19:28.840
<v Speaker 1>this the Weed Journal, the reflections, you know, I think

1:19:28.880 --> 1:19:31.040
<v Speaker 1>we talked a lot about like I think I think

1:19:31.280 --> 1:19:33.840
<v Speaker 1>I went on too big of a rant about AI

1:19:33.960 --> 1:19:36.640
<v Speaker 1>in general that I actually forgot to ask you on

1:19:36.680 --> 1:19:43.280
<v Speaker 1>a personal level, what if any conclusions you have come

1:19:43.320 --> 1:19:45.559
<v Speaker 1>to as a result of this weed journaling.

1:19:47.600 --> 1:19:50.760
<v Speaker 4>I mean I pretty much just started it like yesterday.

1:19:51.760 --> 1:19:58.320
<v Speaker 4>So so far it's kind of been just like reflecting

1:19:58.360 --> 1:20:01.160
<v Speaker 4>on why I wanted to start it, which, like I said,

1:20:01.200 --> 1:20:04.600
<v Speaker 4>I think is kind of tied to both how I

1:20:04.640 --> 1:20:08.600
<v Speaker 4>feel the effects and uh just like insecurity about the

1:20:08.600 --> 1:20:10.519
<v Speaker 4>fact that I do smoke as much as I do.

1:20:11.160 --> 1:20:15.559
<v Speaker 4>I really think that like the nineties propaganda against smoking,

1:20:15.680 --> 1:20:19.280
<v Speaker 4>like I'm fucked with my head, you know, like I

1:20:19.840 --> 1:20:22.719
<v Speaker 4>I cannot imagine smoking a cigarette, and like I feel

1:20:22.760 --> 1:20:27.040
<v Speaker 4>like guilty smoking weeds sometimes. Uh So it's kind of

1:20:27.080 --> 1:20:28.200
<v Speaker 4>a weird place to be into.

1:20:29.280 --> 1:20:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm, yeah, I do too. I came to this.

1:20:39.479 --> 1:20:43.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm my I'm still on my weed journey. I'm not

1:20:43.280 --> 1:20:47.400
<v Speaker 1>going to pretend like I'm like, well I was thinking

1:20:47.400 --> 1:20:51.680
<v Speaker 1>about this, uh, like I'm on, I'm I'm on a

1:20:51.680 --> 1:20:55.160
<v Speaker 1>big like medication journey, like trying to find like like

1:20:55.160 --> 1:20:57.080
<v Speaker 1>like work with like psychiatrist and shit, trying to find

1:20:57.080 --> 1:20:59.960
<v Speaker 1>like medication that works for me. And I went on

1:21:00.120 --> 1:21:04.520
<v Speaker 1>this thing of I was, I had this thing of like, uh,

1:21:05.160 --> 1:21:09.800
<v Speaker 1>I came to a pretty hilarious realization for myself where

1:21:09.800 --> 1:21:12.120
<v Speaker 1>I was like, well, I don't want to have to

1:21:12.120 --> 1:21:15.640
<v Speaker 1>be on a drug every day. You know. That was

1:21:15.680 --> 1:21:21.280
<v Speaker 1>I think one of my big anti like SSR I

1:21:21.400 --> 1:21:24.360
<v Speaker 1>uh talking points. And then I was like, wait a minute,

1:21:24.400 --> 1:21:29.240
<v Speaker 1>I fucking smoke weed every single night. I'm already on

1:21:29.360 --> 1:21:30.400
<v Speaker 1>a drug every day.

1:21:30.960 --> 1:21:32.519
<v Speaker 4>You know, that's a good point.

1:21:33.720 --> 1:21:35.679
<v Speaker 1>And once I came to that point, I was like, oh, yeah,

1:21:35.800 --> 1:21:42.760
<v Speaker 1>fucking duh. So yeah, I don't know.

1:21:42.920 --> 1:21:46.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's also kind of ironic to me that, like

1:21:46.560 --> 1:21:49.120
<v Speaker 4>I was, I was straighted until I was like twenty three. Look,

1:21:49.160 --> 1:21:51.280
<v Speaker 4>I didn't even have a drink of alcohol or anything,

1:21:51.680 --> 1:21:54.600
<v Speaker 4>and I was kind of like part of my identity,

1:21:55.520 --> 1:21:57.000
<v Speaker 4>not you know, not to the point where I was

1:21:57.040 --> 1:22:00.800
<v Speaker 4>like only going to see you straightedge bands, DIY shows

1:22:00.800 --> 1:22:04.000
<v Speaker 4>and shit like that, but you know, I labeled myself

1:22:04.040 --> 1:22:07.400
<v Speaker 4>as straight edge and like would tell people that if

1:22:07.439 --> 1:22:12.559
<v Speaker 4>they offered me a drink or whatever, and so yeah,

1:22:12.600 --> 1:22:14.280
<v Speaker 4>I don't know. It was kind of a weird shift

1:22:14.520 --> 1:22:17.960
<v Speaker 4>transitioning from that to you know, having a drink or

1:22:17.960 --> 1:22:20.360
<v Speaker 4>two here or there, having a smoke here and there,

1:22:20.439 --> 1:22:22.919
<v Speaker 4>and now i'd you know, smoked a couple of times

1:22:23.040 --> 1:22:27.000
<v Speaker 4>three times each day. So yeah, that's I guess that's

1:22:27.000 --> 1:22:28.880
<v Speaker 4>happened over the last like eight or nine years. And

1:22:28.960 --> 1:22:31.599
<v Speaker 4>even I stopped a weed for maybe like a year

1:22:31.640 --> 1:22:33.880
<v Speaker 4>and a half. I had some shit where like I

1:22:33.920 --> 1:22:37.560
<v Speaker 4>was passing out and my heart stopped. Uh, not necessarily

1:22:37.640 --> 1:22:39.320
<v Speaker 4>related to the weed, but the first time it happened

1:22:39.400 --> 1:22:42.040
<v Speaker 4>was like when I was smoking and eating too much.

1:22:42.640 --> 1:22:47.400
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, it's just yeah, it's been. It's definitely been

1:22:47.400 --> 1:22:50.680
<v Speaker 4>an interesting and continues to be an interesting like a

1:22:50.880 --> 1:22:54.439
<v Speaker 4>trip kind of figuring out what works and what doesn't.

1:22:54.479 --> 1:22:56.240
<v Speaker 4>And I'm kind of on the same with like the

1:22:56.280 --> 1:22:59.080
<v Speaker 4>medication as well. Like I was on luxopro for a

1:22:59.080 --> 1:23:01.519
<v Speaker 4>while and it was really worse, but then it was

1:23:01.600 --> 1:23:04.360
<v Speaker 4>giving me like bad side effects, so I weened off

1:23:04.400 --> 1:23:06.720
<v Speaker 4>it on its life. It really like it was like

1:23:06.800 --> 1:23:10.479
<v Speaker 4>the lowest I've probably ever been and now about to

1:23:10.520 --> 1:23:13.040
<v Speaker 4>start prozac and see how that goes. So it's kind

1:23:13.040 --> 1:23:16.080
<v Speaker 4>of it's yeah.

1:23:16.720 --> 1:23:26.439
<v Speaker 1>Scott, what let me think, is there any is there

1:23:26.479 --> 1:23:28.639
<v Speaker 1>anything else you want to cover or do you think

1:23:28.640 --> 1:23:29.080
<v Speaker 1>we did it.

1:23:30.240 --> 1:23:31.880
<v Speaker 2>I think we did it all right.

1:23:31.920 --> 1:23:36.639
<v Speaker 1>Cool. It was good talking to you, Scott. I hope

1:23:37.280 --> 1:23:41.440
<v Speaker 1>I hope that you continue to live a nice.

1:23:41.200 --> 1:23:45.440
<v Speaker 4>Life you as well as a get go in the computer.

1:23:45.720 --> 1:23:52.680
<v Speaker 1>Have a go in, Scott. That was so perfect, What

1:23:52.760 --> 1:23:56.439
<v Speaker 1>a perfect episode to have. I loved the I loved

1:23:56.439 --> 1:24:02.680
<v Speaker 1>that contrast that was. That was juicy to me because like,

1:24:02.800 --> 1:24:05.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I went on the whole like polyamory

1:24:06.000 --> 1:24:18.120
<v Speaker 1>verse monogamous commitment rant, and then both callers embodied lifestyles

1:24:18.160 --> 1:24:26.439
<v Speaker 1>that were opposite yet yet were very natural to them.

1:24:27.080 --> 1:24:32.040
<v Speaker 1>That's so it is so fascinating to me and so

1:24:33.160 --> 1:24:36.120
<v Speaker 1>interesting that they both happened to call in right after

1:24:36.160 --> 1:24:42.479
<v Speaker 1>each other. So that was I liked that. Do I

1:24:42.520 --> 1:24:47.200
<v Speaker 1>have any other post call thoughts about Scott? I liked

1:24:47.200 --> 1:24:56.680
<v Speaker 1>his voice and he was a nice guy, and that's it. Hello, Hello, Hi,

1:24:56.720 --> 1:25:00.960
<v Speaker 1>what's your name? Lars? Lars? I'm going to warn you

1:25:01.000 --> 1:25:07.680
<v Speaker 1>about something. Okay, I think over the past hour and

1:25:07.720 --> 1:25:09.519
<v Speaker 1>twenty minutes, I don't know how long the last two

1:25:09.560 --> 1:25:14.320
<v Speaker 1>calls took, I have I think I have hit my

1:25:14.400 --> 1:25:24.040
<v Speaker 1>limit on deep existential philosophical conversations. Okay, Oh you sounded

1:25:24.040 --> 1:25:25.760
<v Speaker 1>so disappointed. I could tell in your voice that you

1:25:25.760 --> 1:25:26.559
<v Speaker 1>sounded really.

1:25:26.479 --> 1:25:30.240
<v Speaker 6>No, no, no, absolutely not no, that sounds great.

1:25:31.760 --> 1:25:34.880
<v Speaker 1>I also feel like I'll just well, did you have

1:25:34.920 --> 1:25:36.240
<v Speaker 1>something you wanted to talk about?

1:25:38.040 --> 1:25:40.080
<v Speaker 6>Maybe like a couple of things?

1:25:40.120 --> 1:25:43.439
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, go ahead, go ahead, fuck it.

1:25:44.920 --> 1:25:50.960
<v Speaker 6>Okay, So I heard you were talking about relationships earlier.

1:25:51.120 --> 1:25:52.640
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if you still want to do that.

1:25:54.479 --> 1:25:56.839
<v Speaker 6>I got out of an eight year relationship recently.

1:25:57.960 --> 1:25:59.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And how you doing.

1:26:01.000 --> 1:26:04.160
<v Speaker 6>Doing all right? I actually just got into a new

1:26:04.280 --> 1:26:06.160
<v Speaker 6>relationship with a trans woman.

1:26:06.960 --> 1:26:17.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Where'd you meet him? Bumble bumble? Yeah? And how's

1:26:17.880 --> 1:26:18.160
<v Speaker 1>it going?

1:26:19.360 --> 1:26:25.680
<v Speaker 6>It's going great. I mean she's fantastic. Yeah, I have

1:26:25.720 --> 1:26:28.240
<v Speaker 6>no complaints.

1:26:30.160 --> 1:26:34.160
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, what when did you break up with your

1:26:34.240 --> 1:26:35.479
<v Speaker 1>previous person?

1:26:36.760 --> 1:26:36.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

1:26:37.040 --> 1:26:41.840
<v Speaker 6>A couple of months ago probably, And I moved where

1:26:41.880 --> 1:26:44.280
<v Speaker 6>I was living in March, and we broke up a

1:26:44.320 --> 1:26:48.960
<v Speaker 6>couple of months before that, so probably in December or something.

1:26:50.400 --> 1:26:54.040
<v Speaker 1>Very nice, very nice. Okay, Wait, you said you said

1:26:54.120 --> 1:26:55.920
<v Speaker 1>you said a couple of things. What would the other

1:26:55.960 --> 1:26:56.280
<v Speaker 1>thing be?

1:26:58.200 --> 1:27:03.599
<v Speaker 6>Oh? I called, I emailed you actually earlier and you

1:27:03.640 --> 1:27:05.599
<v Speaker 6>read my email on the stream?

1:27:06.240 --> 1:27:06.759
<v Speaker 1>What's email?

1:27:06.800 --> 1:27:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Who?

1:27:06.920 --> 1:27:07.840
<v Speaker 1>Which email were you?

1:27:09.160 --> 1:27:09.479
<v Speaker 4>Uh?

1:27:09.680 --> 1:27:11.320
<v Speaker 6>The douche Canoe story.

1:27:12.760 --> 1:27:13.479
<v Speaker 1>Douche can.

1:27:14.920 --> 1:27:18.719
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, we put a bunch of douches on this guy's

1:27:18.760 --> 1:27:22.280
<v Speaker 6>door for years. We like pranked him and he was

1:27:22.400 --> 1:27:25.639
<v Speaker 6>like he didn't know who it was for like years,

1:27:25.680 --> 1:27:28.639
<v Speaker 6>and then he found out it was his girlfriend who

1:27:28.720 --> 1:27:29.960
<v Speaker 6>was actually now his fiance.

1:27:32.200 --> 1:27:38.320
<v Speaker 1>That's kind of that's good, Like I'm trying to remember that. Uh,

1:27:38.880 --> 1:27:42.240
<v Speaker 1>what do people do? People still use douches?

1:27:46.160 --> 1:27:47.439
<v Speaker 6>I honestly don't know.

1:27:48.840 --> 1:27:51.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I've ever seen a douche in

1:27:51.040 --> 1:27:54.840
<v Speaker 1>my life.

1:27:54.840 --> 1:27:57.800
<v Speaker 6>Or like this plastic thing that's like, I don't know,

1:27:57.880 --> 1:27:58.760
<v Speaker 6>it's got like a two.

1:28:00.920 --> 1:28:04.719
<v Speaker 1>Maybe this is yeah, maybe this is a personal question.

1:28:04.800 --> 1:28:05.880
<v Speaker 1>But have you ever used one?

1:28:06.920 --> 1:28:08.280
<v Speaker 6>No? Not personally, you know.

1:28:08.479 --> 1:28:10.839
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so they're not like part of every day hygiene.

1:28:12.000 --> 1:28:14.840
<v Speaker 6>No, I think they aren't for special occasions.

1:28:15.320 --> 1:28:16.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay, what does it actually do?

1:28:18.880 --> 1:28:22.240
<v Speaker 6>It like cleans everything out, you know, make sure that

1:28:22.240 --> 1:28:23.080
<v Speaker 6>you're nice and clean.

1:28:25.400 --> 1:28:29.760
<v Speaker 1>Interesting do most women use douches?

1:28:31.600 --> 1:28:35.880
<v Speaker 6>I think both. I think everybody used to uses douches

1:28:35.960 --> 1:28:36.960
<v Speaker 6>on occasions.

1:28:37.880 --> 1:28:39.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh, like you could like you can put them in

1:28:39.400 --> 1:28:43.679
<v Speaker 1>your ass. Yeah yeah, okay, yes that makes sense.

1:28:47.640 --> 1:28:50.679
<v Speaker 6>My girlfriends here right now actually is us laughing?

1:28:52.960 --> 1:28:56.840
<v Speaker 1>Where do you? But where do you. Yeah, I feel

1:28:56.840 --> 1:28:59.519
<v Speaker 1>like I've never seen one. I've never like dated anyone

1:28:59.560 --> 1:29:03.680
<v Speaker 1>who used one or anything like that. I've never I mean,

1:29:03.720 --> 1:29:08.479
<v Speaker 1>I've used a bidet' I've watched with a bid day.

1:29:08.560 --> 1:29:10.200
<v Speaker 1>Let's sit answering you a day in a douche.

1:29:12.360 --> 1:29:15.960
<v Speaker 6>Days are in a toilet. I guess I don't know.

1:29:16.880 --> 1:29:18.639
<v Speaker 6>I think the douches get more up in.

1:29:18.600 --> 1:29:22.240
<v Speaker 1>There the the days are sick. I got to get

1:29:22.280 --> 1:29:27.800
<v Speaker 1>a day I had. I used to have a sponsor

1:29:27.800 --> 1:29:31.479
<v Speaker 1>of the podcast. It was like, Tushy Bedey, I think

1:29:31.960 --> 1:29:36.080
<v Speaker 1>I gotta get a bedat sponsor. Yeah, do you have

1:29:36.080 --> 1:29:37.760
<v Speaker 1>a do you have a suggest Who should I? Who

1:29:37.760 --> 1:29:40.240
<v Speaker 1>should I reach out to? Oh?

1:29:40.280 --> 1:29:42.479
<v Speaker 6>I don't know any brands Off the top of my head.

1:29:44.200 --> 1:29:49.519
<v Speaker 1>Was Tushy. Well, okay, I'll, I'll okay. I'm glad we

1:29:49.560 --> 1:29:51.439
<v Speaker 1>had this conversation. I'm going to try to find a

1:29:51.439 --> 1:29:59.400
<v Speaker 1>bidet sponsored so they can send me one nice okay.

1:29:59.439 --> 1:30:03.880
<v Speaker 1>What else? What else? How's the weather where you are?

1:30:05.200 --> 1:30:11.600
<v Speaker 6>It's pretty overcast? Yeah here in Washington.

1:30:13.560 --> 1:30:16.240
<v Speaker 1>Washington's Washington. Does Washington get cold?

1:30:17.680 --> 1:30:17.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

1:30:17.920 --> 1:30:21.559
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it gets pretty chilly in the wintertime, But right

1:30:21.560 --> 1:30:26.120
<v Speaker 6>now it's a mild, humid, kind of rainy day.

1:30:26.840 --> 1:30:30.920
<v Speaker 1>Dude. I think I've been to Seattle five times.

1:30:30.680 --> 1:30:33.840
<v Speaker 6>Five times. I've seen you one of those times I went.

1:30:34.280 --> 1:30:37.880
<v Speaker 1>I went once in twenty twenty one to do one

1:30:37.920 --> 1:30:39.840
<v Speaker 1>of my very first live shows that was like a

1:30:39.880 --> 1:30:43.080
<v Speaker 1>DIY live show, and then I went in twenty twenty

1:30:43.240 --> 1:30:46.519
<v Speaker 1>two for a tour, and then I went in twenty

1:30:46.520 --> 1:30:48.360
<v Speaker 1>twenty three for a tour, and then I went in

1:30:48.360 --> 1:30:51.479
<v Speaker 1>twenty twenty four for a tour, and then I went

1:30:52.560 --> 1:30:56.960
<v Speaker 1>again in twenty twenty four to do my Reptile Rave.

1:30:57.840 --> 1:31:00.000
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, I've been to Seattle five times.

1:31:01.720 --> 1:31:02.360
<v Speaker 6>That's awesome.

1:31:02.600 --> 1:31:03.280
<v Speaker 1>That's crazy.

1:31:06.960 --> 1:31:08.320
<v Speaker 6>How was your Reptile Rave?

1:31:09.520 --> 1:31:11.639
<v Speaker 1>It was fun. It was fun. We did one in

1:31:11.640 --> 1:31:18.160
<v Speaker 1>Seattle and then we did one in New York. It

1:31:18.320 --> 1:31:21.360
<v Speaker 1>is fun. Although you know what's funny is I do

1:31:21.479 --> 1:31:25.920
<v Speaker 1>remember when I did my New York Reptile Rave. I

1:31:25.960 --> 1:31:28.840
<v Speaker 1>was like standing up on the stage while we were

1:31:28.880 --> 1:31:31.240
<v Speaker 1>they were the DJ I was playing, and I was

1:31:31.400 --> 1:31:34.360
<v Speaker 1>from I had a moment where I was looking out

1:31:34.520 --> 1:31:37.439
<v Speaker 1>and I was there and I was like, wait, why

1:31:37.439 --> 1:31:40.040
<v Speaker 1>did I do this? I don't like I don't necessarily

1:31:40.200 --> 1:31:45.960
<v Speaker 1>like raves. I just wanted to. I just like doing

1:31:46.040 --> 1:31:49.240
<v Speaker 1>things that's the main reason I like doing things in person.

1:31:49.960 --> 1:31:55.120
<v Speaker 1>You know, I have fun. I today, I really enjoyed

1:31:55.200 --> 1:31:59.000
<v Speaker 1>doing the phone call podcast. I really enjoyed. I'm enjoying

1:31:59.040 --> 1:32:01.120
<v Speaker 1>talking to you. I enjoy talking to the previous caller

1:32:01.160 --> 1:32:03.120
<v Speaker 1>and the color before that. But I may I feel

1:32:03.120 --> 1:32:09.800
<v Speaker 1>as though I mainly thrive, uh, you know, in in

1:32:09.920 --> 1:32:15.040
<v Speaker 1>the in the universe. And I think that the rave

1:32:16.400 --> 1:32:24.519
<v Speaker 1>was an excuse to be more in the universe, you know,

1:32:24.880 --> 1:32:27.680
<v Speaker 1>just have a party, just be around people. You know,

1:32:30.040 --> 1:32:31.920
<v Speaker 1>maybe I'll do more ship like that. I don't know.

1:32:32.080 --> 1:32:37.280
<v Speaker 1>I like I like stuff, I like people, I like experiences.

1:32:37.840 --> 1:32:38.519
<v Speaker 2>What do you like?

1:32:38.720 --> 1:32:39.280
<v Speaker 1>What do you like?

1:32:40.840 --> 1:32:41.040
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

1:32:41.439 --> 1:32:42.240
<v Speaker 1>Uh?

1:32:42.360 --> 1:32:47.759
<v Speaker 6>I like to be home alone and do art respect respect.

1:32:48.439 --> 1:32:50.839
<v Speaker 1>Do you and your girlfriend do art together?

1:32:51.720 --> 1:32:55.640
<v Speaker 6>We do? Yeah, digital art and I do more like

1:32:55.880 --> 1:32:59.639
<v Speaker 6>physical art. So then we put like our art together.

1:32:59.720 --> 1:33:02.479
<v Speaker 6>She like does something digitally and I'll put like textures

1:33:02.479 --> 1:33:02.720
<v Speaker 6>on it.

1:33:03.400 --> 1:33:05.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you do you act like you're better than her

1:33:05.840 --> 1:33:08.160
<v Speaker 1>because you do physical art and she does digital art.

1:33:11.560 --> 1:33:14.439
<v Speaker 6>No, we respect each other's art equally.

1:33:14.960 --> 1:33:21.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, that's it would be fair if you did.

1:33:22.600 --> 1:33:27.160
<v Speaker 1>I was talking to my friend about this yesterday. Uh, like,

1:33:27.680 --> 1:33:34.200
<v Speaker 1>I think it may philosophically, it makes absolute sense. Why

1:33:34.920 --> 1:33:39.839
<v Speaker 1>if you're vegan, why you would think if you're vegan

1:33:40.000 --> 1:33:44.040
<v Speaker 1>and you think you're better than everyone else, First of all,

1:33:44.040 --> 1:33:50.160
<v Speaker 1>you're right, and the second of all, you're you're entitled

1:33:50.160 --> 1:33:56.160
<v Speaker 1>to that opinion because it's so clearly I don't know

1:33:56.200 --> 1:33:57.760
<v Speaker 1>why I'm bringing this up, but this is just the

1:33:57.800 --> 1:34:00.519
<v Speaker 1>concept of thinking you're better than one. It's so clearly

1:34:01.479 --> 1:34:08.479
<v Speaker 1>unethical to eat animals when we don't have to, and

1:34:08.560 --> 1:34:11.240
<v Speaker 1>so if you do that, you're just you're I think

1:34:11.240 --> 1:34:15.479
<v Speaker 1>you're literally better than everyone else. Yeah, I don't do that.

1:34:15.600 --> 1:34:20.479
<v Speaker 1>I eat. I've I've killed thousands, and not personally, but

1:34:20.520 --> 1:34:24.400
<v Speaker 1>I've contributed to the murder of thousands and thousands of

1:34:24.520 --> 1:34:29.000
<v Speaker 1>chickens and cows and pigs throughout my life, and I

1:34:29.000 --> 1:34:34.760
<v Speaker 1>will and I will continue to do that for I

1:34:34.800 --> 1:34:36.800
<v Speaker 1>will just continue to do that for the rest of

1:34:36.800 --> 1:34:40.040
<v Speaker 1>my life. I will never even attempt to go vegan

1:34:40.160 --> 1:34:42.439
<v Speaker 1>or vegetarian. And if I ever meet a vegan or

1:34:42.439 --> 1:34:44.400
<v Speaker 1>a vegetarian and they say to me what you were

1:34:44.400 --> 1:34:47.280
<v Speaker 1>doing by eating meat is wrong and I am better

1:34:47.320 --> 1:34:50.840
<v Speaker 1>than you, I will I will agree. I will agree

1:34:50.840 --> 1:34:53.680
<v Speaker 1>with them. I think I think it's true.

1:34:54.360 --> 1:34:55.679
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean that's pretty fair.

1:35:00.439 --> 1:35:03.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't know. I don't want to. I

1:35:03.760 --> 1:35:06.439
<v Speaker 1>guess are you? Are you better that I think you

1:35:06.600 --> 1:35:09.400
<v Speaker 1>might be? I think not. I'm trying to. I think

1:35:09.479 --> 1:35:11.519
<v Speaker 1>if you don't use a computer, you're probably better than

1:35:11.520 --> 1:35:15.240
<v Speaker 1>everyone else. Like if I, if I if I were

1:35:15.320 --> 1:35:20.599
<v Speaker 1>completely off of social media, I would absolutely be all

1:35:20.600 --> 1:35:23.960
<v Speaker 1>the time. I would be thinking I'm better than everyone else.

1:35:24.600 --> 1:35:27.280
<v Speaker 1>There's a I've because like I've had times where like

1:35:28.880 --> 1:35:31.720
<v Speaker 1>by by times I mean time, I mean I did

1:35:31.760 --> 1:35:34.800
<v Speaker 1>this once. No, I no, I do this fairly often.

1:35:34.840 --> 1:35:38.439
<v Speaker 1>I do this fairly often. Where like if I'm on

1:35:38.479 --> 1:35:40.280
<v Speaker 1>if I'm on this, like I'll have like a forty

1:35:40.320 --> 1:35:43.599
<v Speaker 1>two minute subway ride and I'll be like, you know what,

1:35:43.680 --> 1:35:48.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna turn my phone completely off, oh wow, and

1:35:48.400 --> 1:35:53.439
<v Speaker 1>put it in my backpack and just observe and just

1:35:53.520 --> 1:35:55.760
<v Speaker 1>not be on my phone and just like kind of

1:35:56.240 --> 1:35:58.640
<v Speaker 1>be in like a I'm gonna use this as like

1:35:58.720 --> 1:36:01.760
<v Speaker 1>meditation time to just not be doing anything. And the

1:36:01.800 --> 1:36:04.720
<v Speaker 1>whole time I'm you're looking at everyone else and you

1:36:04.760 --> 1:36:07.200
<v Speaker 1>look up and everyone else is on their phone, and

1:36:07.240 --> 1:36:09.639
<v Speaker 1>it's great because you just you just get to soak

1:36:09.760 --> 1:36:15.240
<v Speaker 1>in being better than everyone else. Yeah, for that, In

1:36:15.320 --> 1:36:19.839
<v Speaker 1>that in that moment, I'm the most enlightened and awesome

1:36:19.880 --> 1:36:26.920
<v Speaker 1>person on the train, and it just it feels great. Yeah,

1:36:26.960 --> 1:36:28.400
<v Speaker 1>but I can't tell. I don't think I can do

1:36:28.439 --> 1:36:29.960
<v Speaker 1>that my whole life. If I could, I would be

1:36:30.000 --> 1:36:34.519
<v Speaker 1>insufferable all the time. If I could be if I

1:36:34.560 --> 1:36:39.639
<v Speaker 1>could live the kind of life I think. I think

1:36:39.640 --> 1:36:44.439
<v Speaker 1>if you have the like will power and conviction to

1:36:44.640 --> 1:36:49.360
<v Speaker 1>live the kind of life where you're abstaining from any

1:36:49.400 --> 1:36:54.400
<v Speaker 1>and all things that could be remotely considered unethical and

1:36:54.479 --> 1:36:57.400
<v Speaker 1>you're not and you don't eat sugar, and you don't

1:36:57.400 --> 1:37:00.160
<v Speaker 1>go on the internet, and you just live like like

1:37:00.200 --> 1:37:05.120
<v Speaker 1>a completely holistic life, I think you. I think, yeah,

1:37:05.200 --> 1:37:10.160
<v Speaker 1>you're you deserve You've earned being the ability to be

1:37:10.240 --> 1:37:11.160
<v Speaker 1>pretentious about it.

1:37:11.280 --> 1:37:19.160
<v Speaker 6>I think mm hmm, yeah, definitely. I mean, yeah, if

1:37:19.160 --> 1:37:21.960
<v Speaker 6>you can do all that, I guess.

1:37:21.920 --> 1:37:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Dude, if you can do all that and then you

1:37:23.439 --> 1:37:25.160
<v Speaker 1>walk around think you're better than everyone else, you I

1:37:25.160 --> 1:37:29.760
<v Speaker 1>think you deserve it. I think that's the prize that

1:37:29.800 --> 1:37:35.120
<v Speaker 1>you get for being able. I and I and frankly,

1:37:35.760 --> 1:37:38.479
<v Speaker 1>i'd rather have wait, hold on, I'm gonna blow your

1:37:38.479 --> 1:37:40.599
<v Speaker 1>mind right now. Okay, I'm gonna blow your mind. I'm

1:37:40.600 --> 1:37:47.160
<v Speaker 1>gonna blow your mind. Frankly, I would rather just you know,

1:37:48.160 --> 1:37:54.479
<v Speaker 1>eat the meat and uh like, use the internet and

1:37:54.560 --> 1:37:59.559
<v Speaker 1>do the things because I'm abstaining because I because that

1:37:59.560 --> 1:38:04.080
<v Speaker 1>would by doing those things, I'm abstaining from thinking I'm

1:38:04.080 --> 1:38:07.160
<v Speaker 1>better than everyone else. And you know what that makes

1:38:07.200 --> 1:38:10.720
<v Speaker 1>me do? It makes me think I'm better than everyone else.

1:38:11.720 --> 1:38:13.599
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, it's a loop.

1:38:14.760 --> 1:38:18.400
<v Speaker 1>It's a loop. My abstinence from thinking I'm better than

1:38:18.400 --> 1:38:22.360
<v Speaker 1>everyone else subconsciously makes me think I'm better than everyone else,

1:38:23.479 --> 1:38:34.040
<v Speaker 1>which is really awesome when you think about it. That's great. Anyway,

1:38:34.320 --> 1:38:40.400
<v Speaker 1>what's your name again, Mars? Mars? Is there anything else

1:38:40.400 --> 1:38:41.599
<v Speaker 1>you want to say to the people of the computer

1:38:41.680 --> 1:38:42.200
<v Speaker 1>before we go?

1:38:44.880 --> 1:38:48.559
<v Speaker 6>I hope you all are having a great day and

1:38:49.720 --> 1:38:51.559
<v Speaker 6>gagnation beautiful.

1:38:51.960 --> 1:38:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Mars, Thank you.

1:38:54.200 --> 1:38:55.120
<v Speaker 2>Bye.

1:38:58.600 --> 1:39:02.240
<v Speaker 1>Well, there we go. We did it. We did a podcast.

1:39:02.439 --> 1:39:07.719
<v Speaker 1>What a great episode. I want to thank Vivance for

1:39:08.800 --> 1:39:16.519
<v Speaker 1>helping me make this episode. I want to thank the

1:39:18.360 --> 1:39:23.800
<v Speaker 1>I want to thank the I want to thank Diarrhea

1:39:25.080 --> 1:39:29.000
<v Speaker 1>for not having me have it right now. I want

1:39:29.040 --> 1:39:31.680
<v Speaker 1>to think what am I gonna eat after this?

1:39:31.680 --> 1:39:31.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

1:39:31.840 --> 1:39:33.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm gonna eat some sushi. I have a little

1:39:33.400 --> 1:39:37.320
<v Speaker 1>bit of sushi in my fridge. Okay, thank you all

1:39:37.360 --> 1:39:41.280
<v Speaker 1>for listening to this podcast. This was a good This

1:39:41.320 --> 1:39:43.839
<v Speaker 1>was a good episode. I was talking at the beginning

1:39:43.920 --> 1:39:49.760
<v Speaker 1>about how sometimes I sit down to record and I

1:39:49.840 --> 1:39:56.160
<v Speaker 1>just can't do it. And when that happens, I usually go, oh,

1:39:56.200 --> 1:39:58.600
<v Speaker 1>I can't do this anymore. I can't do this podcast,

1:39:58.800 --> 1:40:01.240
<v Speaker 1>Like this is my in my brain telling me I

1:40:01.320 --> 1:40:05.519
<v Speaker 1>cannot do this anymore. And then the next day I'm like,

1:40:05.560 --> 1:40:07.160
<v Speaker 1>all right, let me try again. But I'll do it

1:40:07.200 --> 1:40:11.760
<v Speaker 1>in the morning, right after having some coffee or some shit,

1:40:12.680 --> 1:40:15.280
<v Speaker 1>and then I'm in the zone and I'm like, all right,

1:40:15.760 --> 1:40:18.920
<v Speaker 1>I think we can do this shit. So I don't know,

1:40:19.240 --> 1:40:23.679
<v Speaker 1>but and then tomorrow I'll probably be like everything sucks forever.

1:40:24.560 --> 1:40:28.360
<v Speaker 1>I think that's life. Life is like. When things are

1:40:28.400 --> 1:40:31.160
<v Speaker 1>working well or your brain is in a positive mode,

1:40:31.160 --> 1:40:33.600
<v Speaker 1>you're like, Oh, everything's gonna be great forever now. And

1:40:33.600 --> 1:40:35.439
<v Speaker 1>then when they're in a negative mode, you're like, all right,

1:40:35.479 --> 1:40:37.280
<v Speaker 1>this is it. This is how my brain will function

1:40:37.520 --> 1:40:42.479
<v Speaker 1>and how my life will be for eternity. But really,

1:40:42.520 --> 1:40:45.360
<v Speaker 1>you're just going in and out of all that shit.

1:40:45.520 --> 1:40:46.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know for me, personally, it's how my life

1:40:47.000 --> 1:40:49.439
<v Speaker 1>has gone so far. I'd like to have a nicer

1:40:50.080 --> 1:40:56.400
<v Speaker 1>baseline anyway. Okay, thanks for listening to this podcast, thanks

1:40:56.400 --> 1:41:03.599
<v Speaker 1>for listening to the ads, thanks for calling, thanks for

1:41:04.840 --> 1:41:09.880
<v Speaker 1>being here. And we'll do another one. Well, this one

1:41:09.880 --> 1:41:12.960
<v Speaker 1>comes out on a Wednesday. We'll do another one on Sunday.

1:41:13.120 --> 1:41:14.599
<v Speaker 1>I might do an IRL on Sunday.

1:41:14.680 --> 1:41:15.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

1:41:15.120 --> 1:41:21.559
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it depends on how I'm feeling, all right, gek Bluss, Hello, folks,

1:41:21.760 --> 1:41:25.080
<v Speaker 1>it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But

1:41:25.240 --> 1:41:30.280
<v Speaker 1>get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right,

1:41:30.439 --> 1:41:34.720
<v Speaker 1>an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can

1:41:34.760 --> 1:41:39.040
<v Speaker 1>listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko

1:41:39.080 --> 1:41:43.880
<v Speaker 1>over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers

1:41:43.920 --> 1:41:47.400
<v Speaker 1>get access to bonus episodes, they get a completely ad

1:41:47.400 --> 1:41:51.000
<v Speaker 1>free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings

1:41:51.000 --> 1:41:54.360
<v Speaker 1>from my live shows, members only streams, and they help

1:41:54.439 --> 1:41:58.200
<v Speaker 1>support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's

1:41:58.200 --> 1:42:02.080
<v Speaker 1>a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.

1:42:03.360 --> 1:42:07.439
<v Speaker 5>I kind of just wanted to, uh get your take

1:42:07.600 --> 1:42:12.439
<v Speaker 5>on what I do, which is very similar, I think

1:42:12.840 --> 1:42:17.320
<v Speaker 5>to what you do, which is put a fully rat

1:42:17.360 --> 1:42:20.680
<v Speaker 5>costume on a little animal costume, put myself out on

1:42:20.720 --> 1:42:26.160
<v Speaker 5>the internet, uh, and kind of use that persona to

1:42:27.200 --> 1:42:30.479
<v Speaker 5>explore my mental health journey.

1:42:31.040 --> 1:42:33.720
<v Speaker 1>Interesting. Okay, so let's I want to I want to

1:42:33.760 --> 1:42:37.040
<v Speaker 1>get a full scope of this. Here, you dress up

1:42:37.040 --> 1:42:39.040
<v Speaker 1>as a rat on the internet.

1:42:39.640 --> 1:42:40.080
<v Speaker 5>Mm hmm.

1:42:40.439 --> 1:42:42.519
<v Speaker 1>If you want to hear this full conversation, you can

1:42:42.560 --> 1:42:45.639
<v Speaker 1>sign up to become a premium member at Therapy Gecko

1:42:45.800 --> 1:42:49.640
<v Speaker 1>dot supercast dot com or find the link in the

1:42:49.680 --> 1:42:55.439
<v Speaker 1>episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,

1:42:55.840 --> 1:43:00.800
<v Speaker 1>I have nothing else to say. Go on taking your

1:43:00.840 --> 1:43:04.400
<v Speaker 1>phone calls every night. Never be get Goost on his ride.

1:43:04.520 --> 1:43:07.479
<v Speaker 6>He's teaching you to housing live your life, but he's

1:43:07.560 --> 1:43:09.920
<v Speaker 6>not really an expert.