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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi, Hello, Hi, hey, hi hello Hello.

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Speaker 2: How's it going?

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Speaker 1: When I was? How old was I? Maybe? Did you

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Speaker 1: ever use AIM?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: How old? Can I see how old you are?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm thirty?

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so you've used AIM? I like, I used

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Speaker 1: to have a lot of conversations that just went like, hey, yeah, hey,

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Speaker 1: what's up?

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Speaker 2: Forever no substance, n m JC.

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Speaker 1: Cool, you know, and they're all gone. I don't know

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Speaker 1: where my AIM chats are. I don't know if there's

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Speaker 1: still I don't think I can still log into AIM.

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Speaker 1: My I'm trying to remember what my my childhood, uh,

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Speaker 1: like you know, we all had like like stupid emails.

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Speaker 1: Mine was doctor Worm forty five at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 2: Wow, it like, where did the forty five come from?

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Speaker 1: I don't know where the forty five came from? But

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Speaker 1: do you know where the do you know where the

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Speaker 1: doctor worm came from?

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Speaker 2: No? Okay, it was I was just more interested than

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Speaker 2: the forty five, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the forty five is more mysterious. The doctor worm

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Speaker 1: is a little bit more. Well, there's a they might

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Speaker 1: do you know what the band they might be Giants. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they have a song called doctor Worm and it's about

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Speaker 1: a worm who's a doctor that plays the drums. And

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Speaker 1: I liked that song, so I might doctor worm. What

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Speaker 1: was yours? What was your childhood email?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was KitKat like the candy QT the letters

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Speaker 2: then nine to five, which is the year I was born.

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Speaker 1: KitKat qtie. That's good. That's a good I'm honestly, I

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Speaker 1: am genuinely surprised that that wasn't taken KitKat Q.

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Speaker 2: But I added ninety five to it, So KitKat qt

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Speaker 2: probably was kim.

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Speaker 1: But of all the thirty, of all the however old

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Speaker 1: you were at the time, twelve year olds? True, that

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Speaker 1: would probably because everyone puts now the forty five isn't

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Speaker 1: isn't the year I was born? That would make me

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Speaker 1: eighty eight years old? That would make me eighty years old.

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Speaker 1: But uh, I'm surprised that wasn't taken. That's a good one.

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Speaker 1: Kick kat qt ninety five.

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Speaker 2: It's all right, it is. It is not as embarrassing

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Speaker 2: as it could have been.

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Speaker 1: You know, I wonder if by talking about this on

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Speaker 1: the podcast will get emails to people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm connecting too, Yeah, Illy, As soon as I

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Speaker 2: said it, Yeah, as soon as you asked, I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I better give the crappy one so that if I

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Speaker 2: get emails it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: What is your name?

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Speaker 2: Cat Kat?

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Speaker 1: Did you tell me that already? No? Okay, good, I

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Speaker 1: think I'm losing my mind. Actually I'm not.

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Speaker 2: No, you're not.

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Speaker 1: You're not I'm not.

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Speaker 2: You're good.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I actually I mean this. I feel very sane

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Speaker 1: in this moment. I feel awesome. I feel good. How

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Speaker 1: do you feel? Do you feel sane in this moment?

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Speaker 2: I feel I'll be honest, it's a little surreal. I've

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Speaker 2: been trying to call you for a few days and

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Speaker 2: actually knew that today would be the day that we talk,

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Speaker 2: but still tried, you know, the past couple of days.

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Speaker 2: So I'm just still a little bit reeling that you

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Speaker 2: actually answered two questions.

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Speaker 1: One have we ever spoken before?

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Speaker 2: We have never spoken before.

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Speaker 1: And then two, how did you know that today was

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Speaker 1: going to be the day?

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Speaker 2: I hate to say it, but it was just a feeling,

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Speaker 2: just a gut feeling. I have been having some life

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Speaker 2: stuff going on, and today I am chilling at the hospital.

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Speaker 2: My brother's getting discharged, and it's just a good day

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Speaker 2: to be on the phone.

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Speaker 1: Do you are you typically correct in your gut feelings,

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Speaker 1: like have they have your premonitions typically came true.

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Speaker 2: Man, that's a good question. I'm gonna say no, because

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Speaker 2: I texted you a few days ago and was like,

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Speaker 2: today's the day we're going to talk, and then we didn't.

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Speaker 2: But upon further inspection, it was not the day we

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Speaker 2: were going to talk. I just knew that we were

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Speaker 2: going to talk at this season of my life where

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Speaker 2: I'm going through this stuff with my family.

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Speaker 1: You know, it is kind of funny because if you're yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is kind of funny because like if you every

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Speaker 1: single day go today is the day, you'll eventually be right.

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Speaker 2: So exactly, you know, And that's kind of how I

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Speaker 2: was feeling. I was like, you know what, today's the day,

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Speaker 2: Today's the day. And then eventually it was right, And

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Speaker 2: now I can be satisfied that I called I made

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Speaker 2: it in. Today's the day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, or you won't. Sometimes sometimes you'll say to day

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Speaker 1: is the day, and it will never be your day.

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Speaker 1: You know that. It's like kind that It's like, friends,

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Speaker 1: hasn't been your day, your week, your month, your year,

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Speaker 1: your decade, you're century you'r if I guess if the

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Speaker 1: soul exists beyond death. What would you call that? That's

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Speaker 1: not a lifetime? What's like, what's like a step above

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Speaker 1: a lifetime?

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Speaker 2: M wow, great question. Oh gosh, like a soul cycle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it hasn't been your soul cycle. But if that

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Speaker 1: was in the Friends theme song, people would be like, this.

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Speaker 2: Is too woo for Definitely it would not have been

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Speaker 2: the Friend's theme song had it talked about soul cycles.

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Speaker 1: No, that would be too much. Well, you know, listen,

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Speaker 1: I'll be fully honest with you. Is I think I've been?

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Speaker 1: I just yeah, I don't know, just to like set

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Speaker 1: a context for me personally. Is I think I've been? Yesterday?

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Speaker 1: I think I tried to record this podcast yesterday and

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Speaker 1: I was.

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Speaker 2: I listened yesterday and yesterday and I was like, wow,

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Speaker 2: this is not He's going to try again tomorrow and

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Speaker 2: we're going to talk tomorrow and it'll be better.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I I there's a thing when I record this,

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Speaker 1: I I by the way, I promise, I promise. I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to just talk about myself this whole time,

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Speaker 1: but I just gotta get this stuff.

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Speaker 2: No, you're fine, I'm this is great.

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Speaker 1: Is that I tried to There's like I've been doing

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Speaker 1: this for five years now, and and there is uh several, several, several,

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Speaker 1: maybe even hundreds of times where I've sat down to

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Speaker 1: try to record this podcast and I am I'm not

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Speaker 1: feeling it, and I'm not in the right physical or

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Speaker 1: mental existence to do it. And yesterday was one of

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Speaker 1: those days. And you were there, you saw it, you

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Speaker 1: saw it on the twitch stream. Yeah, but today, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if the vibe ance is kicking. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it's the fact that it's noon and not

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Speaker 1: nine pm. But yeah, I'm ready to uh yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm hit me with whatever you got, let's get Let's

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Speaker 1: give it. I will give Let's give this a try,

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Speaker 1: Let's give this conversation our best try on both ends,

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Speaker 1: and see what the fuck happens. So what's up, kat So?

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Speaker 2: I am in Maryland. I am not from Maryland, but

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Speaker 2: my parents and my little brother live here. And my

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Speaker 2: little brother is like incredibly medically complex. Do later if

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Speaker 2: you want, but he was hospitalized for an infection and

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Speaker 2: is getting out today, which is amazing. But I came

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Speaker 2: to visit him, and this is the first time that

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Speaker 2: I'm seeing my mom since we got in a huge

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Speaker 2: fight at Christmas.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Well, so I'm like, awesome that I get to see

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Speaker 2: my brother, and I just have a lot of anxiety

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Speaker 2: in my body because this is the first time since

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Speaker 2: then that I'm seeing everybody.

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Speaker 1: And everybody is your mom and your brother, is anyone else?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my mom, my stepdad, and my brother.

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Speaker 1: Are you cool with your stepdad?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're cool.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask what was the fight about?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you can ask for sure. You know, it was

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Speaker 2: like a culmination of a lot of things. I want

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Speaker 2: to say it was about the basement flooding, and I

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Speaker 2: didn't like jump up to help right away, but really

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Speaker 2: it was about my mom not feeling cared for in

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Speaker 2: our relationship and feeling like, ever since I chose this

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Speaker 2: polyamorous lifestyle, that I don't have room in my life

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Speaker 2: for her. While simultaneously I am dealing with like, I

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Speaker 2: have a lot of insecurities about my life choices and

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Speaker 2: things that I think that my mom would disapprove of,

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Speaker 2: and so when she tells me that she does indeed disapprove,

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, Okay, I don't want to sit here

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Speaker 2: and like tell you that it's okay and convince you

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Speaker 2: that it's okay. Because I already did that for myself.

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Speaker 2: I don't have the bandwidth to do it for you too.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's a that's a very introspective. Uh. You went

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Speaker 1: from it was about the basement flooding too, it was

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Speaker 1: about all these deeper things.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the basement flooding was just the catalyst

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Speaker 2: to get us yelling at each other, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's no, it's never just about the basement.

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Speaker 1: It's never just about the fucking the way ever stupid thing.

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Speaker 1: But so you said, it's about your mom doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: cared for enough.

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Speaker 2: I think so. And I'm putting words into her mouth

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Speaker 2: because I've been avoiding the conversation, so we haven't had

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Speaker 2: like the direct conversation. But if I could project and

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Speaker 2: read her mind a little bit, it's that like, well, okay,

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Speaker 2: So to give you even more context, in twenty twenty,

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Speaker 2: my husband passed away and my mom like came up

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Speaker 2: to Chicago to live with me for several weeks and

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Speaker 2: like really helped me, took care of me. And then

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Speaker 2: that's been five years and I have grown and gone

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Speaker 2: through a lot of therapy and made new friends and

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Speaker 2: have new partners and just like have a totally different

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Speaker 2: support system now, and I think my mom is feeling

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Speaker 2: like cut out of that. Not that she's cut out,

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Speaker 2: but I definitely rely on her less now than I

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Speaker 2: did five years ago.

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Speaker 1: Does your mom have like her own life? I mean,

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Speaker 1: she has her study, she is, she is, she's.

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Speaker 2: Married, she's married. She has my brother who's twenty five,

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Speaker 2: and she and my stepdad are his like full time

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Speaker 2: caregivers and will be until he passes away, which could

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Speaker 2: be Well, we were thinking it could be this week,

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Speaker 2: but now he looks fine, and so we're thinking like

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Speaker 2: weeks to months. So, like she's with him a bunch.

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Speaker 2: She has a job that she's really successful at. She

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Speaker 2: has book clubs. She's hosting a baby shower girl in

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Speaker 2: her book club. Like she's got stuff going on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, interesting, No, it sounds like she's got a lot

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Speaker 1: of shit going on. But like, I don't why is

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Speaker 1: she feel like is she just like guilting you about shit?

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Speaker 2: So, like, my mental health has been really rough the

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Speaker 2: past year and a half, And from her perspective, it

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Speaker 2: is rough because like relationship turmoil from being polyamorous and

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Speaker 2: dating multiple people. And from her perspective, my choices are

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Speaker 2: contributing to my mental health from my perspective, which is,

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Speaker 2: you know, more accurate because I am the one living

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Speaker 2: my life. I know that the choices that I'm making

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Speaker 2: are getting me out of the mental health issues. But

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Speaker 2: I think from her perspective, and also because like I said,

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Speaker 2: I don't need her as much now, so I'm not

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Speaker 2: relying on her as much, so she's not getting as

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Speaker 2: much information about my life. I think she just has

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Speaker 2: like such a limited perspective that she felt the need

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Speaker 2: to tell me, like, hey, you are doing it wrong.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's the thing when you have like

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Speaker 1: when your fucking kids are I mean, that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: When your daughter is thirty years old, you're uh yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean if you were sixteen and you had seventeen

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Speaker 1: boyfriends or whatever, then maybe, yeah, maybe maybe maybe your

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Speaker 1: mom is a little bit more justified and chiming in.

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Speaker 1: But by by thirty, it's like, you know, whatever you

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Speaker 1: have to say about my life is you know, you're

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Speaker 1: entitled to your opinion about it, but you have no

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Speaker 1: you have no sway. It's like what's the Bob Dylan song,

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Speaker 1: The times are a change in par fuck? Do you

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Speaker 1: know the there's a line, it's about crap. Well, I

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Speaker 1: want to look this up. Hold on, sorry, I want

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Speaker 1: to look it up. I'm looking it up. It's just it's, uh,

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Speaker 1: the times, they are a change in the classic classically

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Speaker 1: from uh the opening of the Watchman movie. Have you

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Speaker 1: seen that? Yeah, yeah, okay, he goes, it goes. Come come,

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Speaker 1: mothers and fathers throughout the land, and don't criticize what

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Speaker 1: you can't understand. Your sons and your daughters are beyond

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Speaker 1: your command. Bam. That's what that's what we got. That

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Speaker 1: that's what we got. That's that's what's going on here,

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Speaker 1: speaking the truth. So yeah, I mean your mom, your

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Speaker 1: mom's got to listen to Maybe you should send her

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Speaker 1: that song. Maybe maybe maybe you text her. Maybe you

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Speaker 1: text her that song, and you're like, that's that's what

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Speaker 1: you gotta accept. That's her journey is accepting that that

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Speaker 1: that little part of the song. Yeah, you know, And

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Speaker 1: I get why that would make her hard to hang

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Speaker 1: out with if she is has an accept Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, and it's too because like my mom and I

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Speaker 2: were really really close, like I said, like she lived

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Speaker 2: with me for a little bit when my husband died,

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Speaker 2: and then even before that, like she was only twenty

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Speaker 2: when I was born, so we really grew up together

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Speaker 2: and like, are really close or we're really close question work,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, and so it's weird for me too,

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Speaker 2: Like I have a lot of grief about the state

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Speaker 2: of our relationship currently and I'm like, ah, this is

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Speaker 2: not how I would prefer it, and that doesn't change that. Like,

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Speaker 2: I just don't have the emotional bandwidth to convince her

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Speaker 2: that I'm making the right life choices.

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Speaker 1: You can't you could, well, you literally can't, right right true?

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Speaker 1: What well? I guess, Like, I mean when when when

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Speaker 1: you talk to her about these things, how does that

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Speaker 1: conversation go? Like are you like, hey, mom, listen, I'm

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Speaker 1: never gonna I know you have your ideas of how

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Speaker 1: I should be living my life and you're entitled to

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Speaker 1: he I have ideas about whatever it is that you want,

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Speaker 1: but I would I just di I don't want to

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Speaker 1: hear them anymore.

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Speaker 2: She's like, but I'm your mom, and you need to

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Speaker 2: hear what I have to say. You need to hear

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Speaker 2: my perspective. But I'm like, but I don't need to.

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Speaker 2: You need me to and that's different. Yeah, yeah, And

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Speaker 2: I did, like I did sit and listen to her.

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Speaker 2: Like last let's see, in October, she flew out to

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Speaker 2: see me and we talked like pretty intensely and emotionally,

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Speaker 2: and I just straight up told her like I sat

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Speaker 2: and I listened and I was like, yeah, I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to change my mind, Like this is not a

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Speaker 2: continu a conversation that I'm willing to continue having with

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Speaker 2: you for you to tell me that polyamory is wrong

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Speaker 2: for me, Like, I'm just not open to hearing your

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Speaker 2: perspective because you don't know, you haven't done the research,

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Speaker 2: you don't have the experience, like you have your own

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Speaker 2: insecurities around it, and that's I just don't want to

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Speaker 2: deal with that and I don't have to. And she

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Speaker 2: didn't like that.

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Speaker 1: Hmm. Yeah, that's a bummer. That's a bummer. I wish

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Speaker 1: I had anything. I wish I had anything better to

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Speaker 1: tell you other than that that's a bummer. Yeah it is,

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Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, I don't know, because you you're like,

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Speaker 1: if you like anyone out there, if you have a

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Speaker 1: if you have a parent who's like unconditionally supportive of you,

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Speaker 1: it's like it's like striking fucking gold, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And uh, it's hard to deal with it. If it's

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Speaker 1: if they're if they're not, I'm I'm not a real therapist,

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Speaker 1: or I'm not I don't even think I'm a fake therapist.

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Speaker 1: I'm just doing a part I get. You know what,

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Speaker 1: I guess if you call yourself the therapy gecko and

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Speaker 1: you and you pretend to give people, yeah, I guess,

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Speaker 1: I guess I'm yeah. Anyway, Well, well, uh, okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever talked to a real therapist about this?

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Speaker 1: And if you do, what do they have to say?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I talked to my real therapist all the time.

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Speaker 1: What theist say?

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Speaker 2: She basically reminds me, like to use my tools and

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Speaker 2: that I don't have to let anybody make me feel

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Speaker 2: any kind of way, which is actually funny because that's

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Speaker 2: advice that my mom has given me my whole life,

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Speaker 2: usually about other relatives. And then just like reminding me

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Speaker 2: about some other therapy stuff, like wise mind, which is

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Speaker 2: you have like the emotional part of your brain and

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Speaker 2: then you have the logical part of your brain, and

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Speaker 2: wise mind is bringing those two together and making decisions

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Speaker 2: from both, and so reminding me like, don't just look

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Speaker 2: at the details on paper, don't just look at how

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Speaker 2: you're feeling about a situation, like use all of it

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Speaker 2: and take all the data and make your decisions accordingly,

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Speaker 2: and just like reassuring me and my sense of self

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Speaker 2: also because we've done a lot of work on that

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Speaker 2: since my husband passed away.

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Speaker 1: What's your so like, I'm very what's your relationship like

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Speaker 1: with your stepdad? I know we kind of talked about

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Speaker 1: it a little bit, but like is he like because

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Speaker 1: because the stepdad is is a bit of a central

329
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Speaker 1: figure I think in this of like, you know, like

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Speaker 1: does he play a voice of reason? Is he on

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Speaker 1: your side? Is he like, hey, you know, give give

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Speaker 1: the kid a break? Is he what's his kind of

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Speaker 1: Not that it really matters in the like fasting of all,

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Speaker 1: not that it really matters in the processing of all

335
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Speaker 1: of this, but I'm just curious.

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Speaker 2: I don't really know. I think for the most part,

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00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:59,000
Speaker 2: he just like stit out of it at Christmas, like

338
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,360
Speaker 2: try to me between us and remind us, like, hey,

339
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Speaker 2: don't say anything that you're gonna regret. I feel like

340
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 2: at that point it was too late though, I was

341
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Speaker 2: already figuring out how I was gonna suddenly fly home

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Speaker 2: and leave the trip, but for the most part, he's

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00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:16,360
Speaker 2: like encouraging to both of us to do it our

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Speaker 2: way whatever that looks like.

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Speaker 1: So tell me, I guess, like, aside from what's going

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Speaker 1: on with your mom, tell me about tell me about

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00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:32,399
Speaker 1: the polyamory stuff. What's uh, what's been your what's been

348
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,800
Speaker 1: your journey with that. I think about this stuff a

349
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Speaker 1: lot because like I don't know, like being on I

350
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Speaker 1: don't know. I think these are not refined thoughts. I'm

351
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 1: gonna think aloud for a second, but it's like I

352
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 1: think there's something to be said about, like because I'm

353
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Speaker 1: trying to figure out how I want to live my

354
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Speaker 1: own life, and it's like, uh, there's something to be

355
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:05,439
Speaker 1: said about like committing to one person and then like

356
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 1: you have like doing the work of like figuring it

357
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 1: fucking out with like one person, and like you know,

358
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Speaker 1: the idea, the idea is you pick someone and then

359
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 1: you grow with them and you fight with them and

360
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 1: you work it out and you you continue on. But

361
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 1: but the idea that like, like I don't believe like

362
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Speaker 1: soulmates makes no sense to me. The idea of like

363
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Speaker 1: there was there's one person who's one person who's perfect

364
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 1: for you and you happen to meet them out of

365
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,239
Speaker 1: the infinite amount of people that like, that's there's no way.

366
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Speaker 1: There's is no fucking way. And I also I also

367
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 1: believe in you know that like like the like the

368
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,120
Speaker 1: abundance of love and all that shit of like, well,

369
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 1: I have you know, tons of friends. Why can't that exist?

370
00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 1: Why can't that you know, uh uh be? Why can't

371
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 1: I have infinite love for multiple people? And the truth

372
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 1: the truth is, I actually I don't think to say

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Speaker 1: which of those things is to say, like, Okay, the

374
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Speaker 1: path of commitment and we're gonna, fuck I'm just choosing

375
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: this and we're gonna do it. There's there's growth there,

376
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: and there's positive things there versus the acceptance of like

377
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to live with just the utmost abundance of

378
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 1: love and I'm actually going to uh learn how to

379
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 1: juggle and be in like, you know, multiple abundant what's

380
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,280
Speaker 1: the word. There's a fucking thing I'm trying to think

381
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 1: of like like like uh like anti possession kind of ship.

382
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna learn how to be I'm gonna learn

383
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 1: how to be so fucking loving to so many people

384
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,639
Speaker 1: that I have no desire to possess them in any way,

385
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 1: you know, And I think and I think both both

386
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: kind of lifestyles. There's no neither of them are uh

387
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,440
Speaker 1: you know correct, TM, They both kind of They both

388
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: bring with them their own sense of you know, struggles

389
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 1: and their own senses of of of benefits. So I'm

390
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:23,439
Speaker 1: curious for you which what how you know what your

391
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 1: journey has been like on that.

392
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So my husband I were monogamous and Christian,

393
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Speaker 2: like super Christian. I was working in the church and

394
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 2: he was super involved in the church. And when he

395
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 2: passed away, there was also like some just like bullshit

396
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 2: drama that happened at the church, and so the church

397
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:47,400
Speaker 2: ended up closing. Also, luckily, I had another job lined

398
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,439
Speaker 2: up because I was trying to get another drip up anyway,

399
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 2: and so I transitioned to working in marketing, which, like

400
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 2: I was doing marketing for churches anyway, and then I

401
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 2: avenge started dating very very casually, And in dating casually,

402
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 2: I was dating a lot of people who were either

403
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 2: polyamorous or in open relationships. Because people who casually date

404
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 2: are casual daters, right, It just makes so a lot

405
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 2: of the people that I was dating we're also dating

406
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 2: other people. And I was just like, well, yeah, sure,

407
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 2: I could try this. I dated a guy for two

408
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 2: years in Greece and I actually like flew back and

409
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 2: forth to see him a bunch, and at first we

410
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,199
Speaker 2: were just super casual, like friends with benefits, but we

411
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,479
Speaker 2: were pretty into each other and if I was going

412
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: to be there, we would hang out. But we weren't

413
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 2: like going to get married or anything like. We weren't

414
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: committed as long as it served both of us. But

415
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 2: then after being together for like a year and a half,

416
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 2: I was like, well, we've put in so much time,

417
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 2: like we should be more serious than this, Like we

418
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 2: should be committed committed. But for him, that looked like

419
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 2: more exclusivity than I was comfortable with, because by that

420
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:02,119
Speaker 2: point I had already met other people in Chicago that

421
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 2: I really liked spending time with, hanging out with, dating,

422
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 2: cooking up with, and I wasn't willing to give up

423
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 2: those connections. And there was one in particular that Greek

424
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 2: boyfriend was especially like insecure about, and he was asking

425
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 2: me like, hey, if we're going to be committed and serious,

426
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 2: I don't think that you should still be with this person.

427
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,919
Speaker 2: And I was like, but I love this person and

428
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 2: I want to be with this person and definitely so

429
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do that. So we broke up.

430
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 2: And then my partner, Javan and I have been together

431
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 2: and are doing well and we date together and separate

432
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:40,120
Speaker 2: and have other partners also, but we live together and

433
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 2: like do life together, share finances, share an apartment. He's

434
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 2: feeding the caps while I'm gone. I love our relationship.

435
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 2: Our relationship is amazing and beautiful and wonderful. I just

436
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 2: rambled a bunch.

437
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: No, No, that was great. That's great, all right, By

438
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: the way, I like, I really do, I really, I

439
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: I really do get I feel where you're confront because

440
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:18,360
Speaker 1: like people, you know, I think people mistake like, oh,

441
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,919
Speaker 1: I could never do that with nobody, can ever do that?

442
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 2: You know?

443
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 3: Yes, so that's yeah, probably I was going on, yeah,

444
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 3: oh I could never do that with the pretense or

445
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 3: the undertones of and neither can you.

446
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 1: Right, right, But I don't know. We live in we

447
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,199
Speaker 1: live in an abundant world where everyone can kind of

448
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 1: fucking do whatever they want.

449
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's I mean, one of my core values

450
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 2: is to do it for the bit, Like everything can't

451
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 2: be so serious and sure. That's not to say that

452
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 2: like my dating life isn't serious. Like I have a

453
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 2: lot of very serious, committed relationships. It's the commitment and

454
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 2: exclusivity are not mutually exclusive.

455
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 1: That's an interesting concept. Tell me, tell me more about

456
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 1: what you mean by that.

457
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: Well, I'm wholeheartedly committed to my partner, Javon, and that

458
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that I can't be committed to other people. Also,

459
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 2: it's like you were saying about friendships. It's like you

460
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 2: don't have one friend and that's the only friend that

461
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 2: you do stuff with. You have a bunch of friends

462
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 2: and for a bunch of activities, right, Like there's one

463
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,959
Speaker 2: friend you go to the movies with to see an

464
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 2: action movie, and there's another friend you go to see

465
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 2: a rom com and it's just like the same kind

466
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 2: of thing, but for dating and incorporating sex and romance

467
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: into those relationships also m h m hm. And there's

468
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 2: no reason that you can only do that in one relationship.

469
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to. I have to ask though, because

470
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: it here's the one thing is that there is a

471
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: the one thing that you I mean, one of the

472
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: one of the many challenges to the lifestyle I assume

473
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: is that you have a finite amount of time in

474
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 1: an you twenty you have twenty four hours in a day.

475
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's the most difficult thing about I mean.

476
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, for for most people, it's like, I mean, polyamory

477
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: isn't like forget about anything logistically. I mean, I'm sorry,

478
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 1: forget about anything emotionally. It's just like logistically between you know,

479
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: having to work for however many hours you got to

480
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 1: work and having to do laundry and brush your teeth

481
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 1: and go to that, you know, just do everything. I mean,

482
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: how do you have genuine question, how do you have

483
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:48,360
Speaker 1: time to have all these commitments and all these relationships.

484
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm probably the wrong person to ask, because I

485
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,879
Speaker 2: left my job and started my own business partially to

486
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 2: free up my time, partially because I was just ready

487
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 2: to do that. But so there's that. So I work

488
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 2: a lot less now, and the work that I do

489
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 2: is significantly more meaningful. And then it also honestly helps

490
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 2: that I am dating people who are dating each other,

491
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: because then we can hang out together versus when I've

492
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 2: dated people who are not dating the people that I'm dating.

493
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 2: It's like a lot more logistically challenging just to find

494
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 2: time and I feel like that's the like, not argument necessarily,

495
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 2: but like that's what I end up like getting frustrated

496
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 2: with partners about is time management, either on their end

497
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 2: or mine of like, Okay, well I've set aside this

498
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 2: time for you and you didn't take me up on it,

499
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 2: or like we had this date planned and you double

500
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 2: booked or I double booked or whatever it is. It's

501
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 2: like time management is like the most annoying part.

502
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: That's so no the thing you said about, uh yeah,

503
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: like if you have two boyfriends, but the two boyfriends

504
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: are also boyfriends, that's not perfect. That's perfect because you

505
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 1: can go because that means you can go do whatever

506
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: the fuck thing you're gonna do. And then your boyfriends

507
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: are boyfriends ended up with each other, you know you

508
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: have to worry about.

509
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: Uh uh, well, like last night, right exactly last night,

510
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: like I flew out to Maryland and so my girlfriend

511
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 2: was over at my apartment with my partner, and she

512
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 2: like stayed over and then got up this morning and

513
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 2: went to work, and I'm like, wow, how great that

514
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 2: my partner was not home alone, Like how wonderful that

515
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 2: he had company?

516
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: Yeah?

517
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and company that I love and trust versus like

518
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 2: company that I don't know anything about.

519
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: What's your What business do you do?

520
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 2: I am a business consultant. I helped creative people organize

521
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 2: their self care, passion project or small business.

522
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: Interesting, how long have you been doing that?

523
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 2: I started in January?

524
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 1: And how's it? How's it going?

525
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 2: It's going great. I love all of the clients that

526
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 2: I'm working with. I'm doing a lot more well on

527
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: one coaching than I was expecting. I was expecting to

528
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 2: do more like small business consulting, where I have like

529
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 2: contracts with small businesses, But actually a lot of the

530
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 2: work that I'm doing is just like one on one

531
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 2: calls with people who are doing some form of passion

532
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 2: project and they just need help like with project management

533
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: or resources or training stuff like that. So I have

534
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 2: a client that I'm helping develop a marketing strategy for

535
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 2: her self published children's book. I have a client that

536
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 2: I'm helping her outline her like branding guidelines for her

537
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 2: own business because she doesn't quite have the budget to

538
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 2: pay someone else to do it. But I was like, well,

539
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 2: I can do it, but it's better if I teach

540
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 2: you how to do it. So I'm doing that.

541
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: Stuff like that that makes sense. You know, you're very

542
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: easy to talk to, so it makes sense that you

543
00:30:54,600 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 1: have this like one to one kind of coaching job.

544
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, it suits me. I enjoy it a lot. And

545
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,719
Speaker 2: I don't know. I have been in therapy like all

546
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 2: of my life, literally all of my life actually since

547
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 2: my brother was born because he's special needs, the like

548
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 2: therapy center for him where he would do like his

549
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 2: physical therapy. They also offered mental health services to the siblings.

550
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 2: So I started therapy like super young and have just

551
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: like I don't know, absorbed at all. And I like

552
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 2: passing on knowledge, not just about like business stuff, but

553
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 2: everything like holistic care. And I really think that self

554
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 2: care like is part of your work and your business.

555
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 2: It's like the crucial part. It's the part that everything

556
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 2: is built off of. So I'm glad that I get

557
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 2: to do that for other people and with other people.

558
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead let me. I don't know what's

559
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 1: going on in the twitch chat, but if you're down,

560
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 1: I'll see if the twitch chat has any, uh any

561
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: questions are you a real gecko? I'm not going to

562
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: answer that. You should.

563
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 2: Speaking of are you a real gecko is when you're

564
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 2: a little like intro theme song plays or your outro

565
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 2: theme song, and it says, budd, he's not really. We

566
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 2: say a gecko, Oh.

567
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta update that

568
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 1: intro song. I get a new one.

569
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 2: I know that's not the words, but it's fun.

570
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,719
Speaker 1: So okay, here's a question. Someone asks if STDs are

571
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: ever a concern.

572
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. So we're just like really open and

573
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 2: talking about testing and also using barriers, and we just

574
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 2: have those conversations a lot more than other people.

575
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: Someone asked, uh, what was the transition like from being

576
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: employed to self employed?

577
00:32:53,200 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 2: Fucking terrifying. I have like a good savings account that

578
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 2: I built up for this, and it still like hurts

579
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 2: me emotionally to dig into it. Like I know that

580
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 2: that's why I have the money, and I'm like, oh

581
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 2: my gosh, like I'm going to burn through my savings.

582
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 2: It's like that's literally what it's for. Yeah, it's really

583
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 2: just like the mindset shift of like I am fully

584
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 2: responsible for my income versus when I was working at

585
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 2: a business, it was like there was a little bit

586
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 2: of like sales and lead generation in my job, but

587
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 2: I wasn't doing all of it. Whereas now I'm doing

588
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 2: all of it, Like, if I need a new client,

589
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 2: it's my responsibility to go out and find a new client. Yeah,

590
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 2: and that, Like I knew all of that going in,

591
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 2: but it's still quite a lot to juggle and to

592
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:42,720
Speaker 2: get used to.

593
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 1: Are you you started in January?

594
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:46,479
Speaker 4: Are you?

595
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you in the green?

596
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 4: Not yet?

597
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 1: What's been your like process for gathering clients and whatnot.

598
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 2: So it's funny when I moved to Chico back in

599
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 2: the day, like five years ago I did it or

600
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 2: six years Oh my gosh. I raised support as a

601
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 2: missionary to do that, And so I had like a

602
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 2: pitch deck that I would show to people from the

603
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 2: church and say, here's why you should invest in my

604
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 2: position at this church, and here's the impact that I'm

605
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 2: going to make. I just like took that framework and

606
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 2: created it for my business. And so I made like

607
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 2: an investor deck. I scheduled call with a bunch of

608
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 2: my friends and family and just anybody who would get

609
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 2: on a call with me, and then I asked them

610
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 2: to do something, whether it's like book a call with

611
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 2: me to move forward as a client, refer me to

612
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 2: someone else, or shout me out on social media, and

613
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 2: then I just did that over and over again until

614
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 2: I got a client load I was happy with.

615
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 1: I guess that kind of the missionary thing leads into

616
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: this other question, Are you still a Christian?

617
00:34:52,640 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 2: That's a tough question. I don't think so. I don't know.

618
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of value in the community

619
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: that you get from the church. Like I have a

620
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 2: lot of really close friends, like family friends from the church.

621
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 2: I think church can be awesome. I think it also

622
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:22,359
Speaker 2: can be awful. The like party line from Christians is well,

623
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 2: it's not God that makes church awful, it's people. And

624
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, I get that, And I don't know.

625
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 2: I'm more spiritual. I don't think I'm Christian. I'm not

626
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 2: like Jesus saves or anything anymore. But I'm also not

627
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 2: anti church.

628
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 1: You know the dude. I yeah, people listening to this

629
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: podcast know that this year for this this year has

630
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: been unintentionally been for me the year of the existential crisis.

631
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: And yeah, I've been thinking a lot about I've been

632
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: thinking about things that I have not really I mean that,

633
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 1: you know, everyone thinks about like, you know, what the

634
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: fuck is this? And you know, how did consciousness get

635
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 1: to be and what happens after we die and all

636
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 1: that stuff. But this year, for this year, I got

637
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: like really, yeah, it's called existential depression. Like I got

638
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: really into it, and I think it's the other day

639
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,439
Speaker 1: I was like thinking about it and I was like, oh, wait,

640
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 1: I actually do think I'm like I was, I was like, wait,

641
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: is there actually fucking might be a god? And I

642
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: not in like a not in like a obviously like

643
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 1: the god as it's kind of like the way it's

644
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 1: been like weaponize. Yeah. Yeah, like I hired being like

645
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:47,359
Speaker 1: like the way it's been like weaponized to like you know,

646
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: uh other people and to fucking you know, like I

647
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 1: don't think, like I don't think I believe in heaven

648
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 1: and Hell, although I don't who knows I At this

649
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: point it all all roads leads. All roads kind of

650
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: lead to there being no definitive answer. But when people

651
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,839
Speaker 1: talk about like, I'm not bothered when people talk about

652
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: like God and Jesus because I think God and Jesus

653
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 1: are just like they're just allegory and I don't know

654
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:21,760
Speaker 1: if allegory is the right word. They're just placeholders for

655
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,240
Speaker 1: like a higher power. And when you really think about,

656
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 1: like what a fucking miracle and like what insanity it

657
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 1: is to like be conscious you you it almost like

658
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 1: the fact like they're being a high there there must

659
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 1: be a higher power which and it's not necessarily like

660
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 1: a dude in the sky or.

661
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 2: Like mean to me, just like the design of like

662
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 2: the earth one place where our like human being is

663
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,320
Speaker 2: able to exist and has the right oh zone whatever

664
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 2: in the air and the like, all of that to

665
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 2: me indicates like some sort of higher power designing things

666
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 2: or orchestrating things.

667
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but I mean there also is like you

668
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: could take a nihilistic approach to it and be like

669
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:21,439
Speaker 1: it's all just a random, chaotic, uh cosmic mistake. But

670
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: still but but even but even but even if it's

671
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 1: all a mistake and it's all random, it's like, well

672
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 1: so the that's that still doesn't explain a lot of stuff,

673
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: you know, So I don't know, but yeah, but yeah,

674
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: the fact that it's like so I don't know anytime

675
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: like when like uh like even like prayer, like I

676
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: like I pray now you're like I find I've talked

677
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: about this before, Like I'll do this thing like when

678
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 1: I'm like traveling like if I'm uh going through airport

679
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: security and uh, you know, is that moment when you

680
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 1: you like you don't have any of your stuff and

681
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,359
Speaker 1: you don't have your phone and you're just standing there

682
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:06,280
Speaker 1: and you're waiting, I'll like clasp my hands and look up.

683
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 2: And it's like wow, wow, actually pray.

684
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like pray. But it's again, it's not like

685
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 1: it's not like Jesus or it's just like we randomly

686
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: somehow got to evolve into these like con into fucking

687
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:32,839
Speaker 1: conscious beings. It's so insane. There are there obviously there's

688
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 1: like you know, scientific whatever of like the neurons create

689
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,320
Speaker 1: consciousness or whatever, but there's there's still so many questions

690
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 1: that like can't be answered, and the answer is not

691
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: necessarily like there was a God and he created the

692
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: life and he wants you to you know, never have

693
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: sex and never you know, direct like that stuff that

694
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: that stuff is all fucking stupid. But like the idea

695
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 1: that there's something more conscious than us makes total sense.

696
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 1: So I just I sub that in.

697
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 5: Now.

698
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: I don't get annoyed when people talk about Jesus or

699
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 1: anything like that, because I just sub it in with

700
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: like they're seeking a higher power, they seeking answers. You know,

701
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: it's only annoying when people use it, Yeah.

702
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 2: Go ahead, sorry, Yeah, it's annoying when they like try

703
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 2: and force it on you exactly, they're like, oh, well

704
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 2: you should change your X y Z because I believe this.

705
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, we can stop this conversation now. Versus

706
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 2: if they're just telling me about their belief system, I'm like,

707
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 2: oh cool, tell me.

708
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: More, right, right. Yeah, it's annoying when they do that,

709
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: when they try to push it on you, or when

710
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: they like use it to be like, well yeah again,

711
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,240
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess, yeah, I guess. Actually all forms

712
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: of like religious powered hatred are just like extremities of

713
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 1: trying to force your religion upon other people.

714
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and I hate that that religious powered hatred

715
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 2: is veiled under the guys those religious powered love. It's like, well,

716
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 2: we're just telling you this because we care so much

717
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 2: about you, like you clearly don't because you're telling me

718
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 2: this mm hmm.

719
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 1: Although you know, it's fun and and I although to

720
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:19,720
Speaker 1: be maybe it's wrong to be sympathetic to this degree,

721
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: but I also I was thinking, I was maybe it's

722
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 1: wrong to be sympathetic to this degree. But I was thinking.

723
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, you know, if I

724
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 1: were convinced that if I were convinced unfallibly of these things,

725
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: then of course I'd be like.

726
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have the best news in the world I have.

727
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 1: Of course, yeah, of course. Uh. Louis c K has

728
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 1: this joke where he's like, you know, like like people

729
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: who are like anti abortion, like like they like in

730
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: their minds, they think that you're killing babies, and so,

731
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,799
Speaker 1: of course if you think that people are killing But

732
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 1: of course, if you're convinced that you think that people

733
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 1: are killing babies, you're going to stand outside of the

734
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 1: fucking planned parenthood. Doesn't make it right, but of course

735
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 1: that's what you're gonna do if that's what you're convinced of. So,

736
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 1: you know what, I none of these are all just

737
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 1: you know, things to think about.

738
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 2: I guess, but yeah, I don't know either. You talk

739
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,280
Speaker 2: a lot about like recording your thoughts on the internet,

740
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,919
Speaker 2: and I feel very similar. I'm like, oh my god,

741
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 2: all of this is recorded, and I'm going to change

742
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:36,280
Speaker 2: my mind.

743
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: Tomorrow, Yes exactly, but whatever, I'll here's what Here's what

744
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 1: happened is I'll change my mind. Tomorrow somebody will be like,

745
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: well and hear you said this about this, and I'll

746
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: be like, well, you know whatever I'm it makes Honestly,

747
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,359
Speaker 1: it makes me. Yeah, yeah, it makes me very I'm

748
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,720
Speaker 1: very happy and I feel very you see, you really

749
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 1: get where I'm coming from on all these things, and

750
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 1: that makes me. That makes me feel feel very seen.

751
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,319
Speaker 1: So I appreciate this conversation very much.

752
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 2: You're so welcome. And I know that you don't see

753
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 2: it this way. But we spend a lot of time together.

754
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 1: This is true. It's true. You spend a lot. It's true.

755
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 1: We have a yeah, yeah, sure, yeah.

756
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I listen. Do you talk a lot? So it

757
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 2: makes sense.

758
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 1: Hold on, we might have another let me let me

759
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: see if we have any more any more? Just questions

760
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: from the chat. Uh. Someone wants to know how many

761
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 1: partners do you have?

762
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:51,320
Speaker 2: I would say three right now. I have a nesting partner,

763
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:56,000
Speaker 2: we have a girlfriend, and have a platonic partner who

764
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,320
Speaker 2: I've been with for ages, but we're long distance.

765
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 1: Right now, let's see, Oh, how did you meet your partners?

766
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 1: Someone wants to know.

767
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 2: Okay, so Javon and I met on Tinder. We were

768
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 2: just like looking at and then we actually really liked

769
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 2: each other and like fell in love, which was a

770
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 2: little problematic because we both had other partners at the

771
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 2: time who weren't super chill with us falling in love.

772
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: And then I met our girlfriend through Jon he already

773
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 2: knew her. I don't know how they met, I assume

774
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 2: on the app. And then my platonic partner we were

775
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: friends in college.

776
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 1: When you say you had partners that weren't chill with

777
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 1: you falling in love, are you, is it like do

778
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 1: you have agreements with them where it's like, look, have

779
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 1: sex with whoever you want, but like I want to

780
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: be your Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Yeah, someone wants

781
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 1: to know your thoughts on Playboy CARDI on what play

782
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: Playboy carti?

783
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 2: Playboy CARTI? I don't know. I have none.

784
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I don't have any either. All right, Well, well,

785
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 1: kat I, I, is there anything else that did we

786
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:25,479
Speaker 1: cover all bases? If we didn't, we can come down

787
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 1: so much.

788
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 2: I mean, I would love if you're cool. Isn't to

789
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 2: tell you a little bit about my brother because he's

790
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 2: like my fucking hero?

791
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh, also, yeah, I do want to hear about

792
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 1: your brother. I also, uh, don't let me forget, but

793
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: I wanna. We'll do this at the very end. I

794
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: want to give you. Don't let me forget about this.

795
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 1: I want to give you the opportunity to shout out

796
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 1: your business. I don't know if you have an email,

797
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 1: Instagram or whatever, but uh yeah, go ahead. Tell me

798
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: about your brother.

799
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 2: So his name is Thomas. He has this genetic disorder

800
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 2: called FG syndrome, which it doesn't matter what it's called,

801
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 2: but it basically his body and his brain like don't

802
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 2: connect the way that they're supposed to, and so that's

803
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 2: caused a whole bunch of issues throughout his life. He

804
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,839
Speaker 2: we call him bionic Boy because he has so many

805
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 2: like medical devices attached to him used to his spine.

806
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 2: He has a muscle relaxer pump under his abdomen, like

807
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 2: under the skin that sends muscle relaxer straight to his

808
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 2: spinal system. He has he's on like bagged nutritions instead

809
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 2: of a feeding tube.

810
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:36,760
Speaker 6: It just goes.

811
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: Directly to his bloodstream. It's really fucking cool. He likes

812
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 2: to play piano, he likes to read books, he loves

813
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 2: to watch movies. He was on a really big Marvel Kick.

814
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 2: But then I think he finally got tired of Marvel

815
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:53,799
Speaker 2: after watching like all of the movies in chronological order

816
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 2: and release order, like one hundred times over, I think

817
00:46:56,560 --> 00:47:01,399
Speaker 2: he's finally moved on to other action movies. Now, let's see,

818
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 2: he's quadriplegic, so he doesn't have functionally quadriplegic. He doesn't

819
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 2: have like full range of motion of his limbs. He

820
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 2: can like turn pages in a book and like press

821
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 2: keys on a keyboard, but he doesn't have very much

822
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 2: control of his motor skills. He's wheelchair bound. He's nonverbal.

823
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 2: He can communicate with like yes no with his eye

824
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 2: movement or like he'll raise his eyebrows for yes or

825
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 2: lower them for no. But for the most part, we

826
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:30,320
Speaker 2: just kind of read his mind.

827
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: Does he does he like type or write or anything.

828
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 2: He did type for a while, but it's like so

829
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 2: much physical effort for him to be able to type

830
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 2: that there's just very little that's worth it to him

831
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 2: for the energy of communicating.

832
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 1: Is he's twenty five right?

833
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well he'll be twenty five in September.

834
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 1: Sorry if you mentioned this, Sorry about is he Is

835
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 1: he been like this his whole life? Or was it

836
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 1: something that developed, it's.

837
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 2: Gotten like worse through his whole life. So it's like

838
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 2: every year he's had some sort of medical complication, not

839
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 2: necessarily every year, but pretty much every year, and so

840
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 2: it's like usually one thing at a time. So when

841
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,720
Speaker 2: he was little, little, like there was barely anything wrong,

842
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: so to speak. And then as he or his body

843
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,360
Speaker 2: just like couldn't keep up. Like if you're in a

844
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 2: wheelchair and you don't like walk around and move your muscles,

845
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 2: then your muscles atrophy. So his body has just been

846
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 2: like falling apart his whole life.

847
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 1: What was your what was your guys relationship? Like like uh,

848
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 1: growing up, we actually.

849
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 2: Didn't realize that he was not also mentally handicapped until

850
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 2: he was like fourteen, So that was the first time

851
00:48:56,040 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 2: he ever typed a sentence before that. Like we were chill,

852
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 2: but I didn't know he was in there, you know,

853
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,799
Speaker 2: so like we would hang out, watch movies, whatever. But

854
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 2: like I was like, how quick can this relationship be?

855
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 2: Like I don't know. We thought he was a vegetable,

856
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 2: and then it was like, oh my gosh, he's not

857
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 2: a vegetable. He's a real kid. He's in there and

858
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:20,400
Speaker 2: can talk and tell us things, And I have a

859
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:24,319
Speaker 2: lot of guilt for like not being around more, but

860
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 2: I'm trying to just let go of that and be

861
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:29,920
Speaker 2: around as much as I want to instead.

862
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 1: Does he have a nice relationship with your stepmom and

863
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:36,959
Speaker 1: your mom?

864
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 4: Yeah?

865
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 2: I think so. I think they so. During the pandemic,

866
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 2: it was pretty rough because there was the shortage of

867
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 2: healthcare workers and so it was literally just my mom

868
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 2: and my stepdad taking care of him twenty four to seven,

869
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 2: and they all got burnt out from each other. Now

870
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 2: they have like nursing care in the house again, and

871
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,879
Speaker 2: so I feel like the relationship is much better, not

872
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 2: just between like my brother and my parents, but even

873
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 2: between my mom and my stepdad. Like I feel like

874
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,320
Speaker 2: they finally get a break from caregiving.

875
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:09,600
Speaker 1: Now, wait, where are you right now? By the way,

876
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: I hear a lot.

877
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:11,720
Speaker 2: Of people, I'm in the hospital lobby.

878
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 1: Yeah right, you mentioned that. What forgive me if you

879
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: mentioned this already? But what's up with your dad?

880
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,879
Speaker 2: My dad is a chill guy. He and my mom

881
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 2: got divorced when I was young and my brother was young,

882
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 2: so my brother is his biological child. Also, he's remarried.

883
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 2: He lives with his wife in small town Indiana.

884
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 1: And uh are you is he? Do you guys? Like,

885
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 1: are you guys cool? And you're cool with his uh

886
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:44,320
Speaker 1: his wife and everything.

887
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. He wasn't around a ton when

888
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 2: I was growing up because he had work stuff and

889
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 2: I was with my mom, who's his ex wife, And

890
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,799
Speaker 2: I have a lot of just like grace and understanding

891
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,399
Speaker 2: for that. And I talk a lot lately about how,

892
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 2: like my dad, my relationship now that I'm an adult

893
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 2: is so much better. And then my mom kind of

894
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 2: jokes like, well, that's because you lowered your standards, but like, yeah,

895
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 2: it is because I lowered my standards because like my

896
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 2: dad never asked to have me, like they just got pregnant.

897
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,840
Speaker 2: He did the best he could and left his wife

898
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 2: and still like showed up for me. So yeah, I

899
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 2: did lower my standards. I'm cool with that. But he

900
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:26,919
Speaker 2: and my brother haven't really been able to see each other,

901
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 2: like since my mom and them moved out here to Maryland.

902
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,759
Speaker 2: They used to live in Indiana. Also, m m.

903
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 1: Hmmm. I'm trying to think, was there anything else you

904
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: wanted to you wanted to mention about your your your brother,

905
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,439
Speaker 1: your family or you know kind of anything at all

906
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:53,759
Speaker 1: before uh we get into uh I want to let

907
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:55,359
Speaker 1: you do your plugs?

908
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, gosh, I don't think so. I'm just I'm

909
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:01,240
Speaker 2: so thrilled we got to talk today.

910
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, here what's okay?

911
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 2: So?

912
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: What where do? If people want your your coaching services

913
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,879
Speaker 1: or yeah, any of these stings.

914
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:17,239
Speaker 2: If you want help with your self care or your

915
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 2: passion project or your small business, you can follow me

916
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 2: on Instagram at Cat Makes Stickers. That's cat lob K.

917
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,879
Speaker 2: From there, you can check out my website if you want,

918
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 2: or just follow. I also well buy the name. You

919
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 2: can tell make Stickers as my like lead generating thing,

920
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 2: so you can also see the stickers I've been designing

921
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 2: and working on.

922
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 1: Cat Makes Stickers. There's no no no x's or underscores

923
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: or numbers or anything. Just Cat Makes Stickers straight. Yep,

924
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 1: pretty good. What kind of stickers do you make?

925
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 2: Whatever? I feel like just like fun stuff. Today I

926
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 2: was working on a sticker of my mom's pets, but

927
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,960
Speaker 2: in the style of like the Stardeo Valley Pets.

928
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: Here, hold on, I'm gonna I'm gonna is it? Is

929
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 1: it embarrassing? If I check this out? While we're on

930
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:18,360
Speaker 1: the phone. No, okay, cool, Uh stickers, Cat makes stickers cool?

931
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 1: Oh you gotta Oh this is cool? Oh hell yeah,

932
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 1: Oh you got the Powerpuff Girls. Oh hell yeah, you're

933
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: really doing it. This is sick.

934
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:29,080
Speaker 2: I'm trying, man.

935
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:31,919
Speaker 1: This is like for helping folks.

936
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:34,359
Speaker 2: With like yes I am, I am really doing it.

937
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 1: This is this is like helping folks with like ADHD

938
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 1: and shit like that. Okay, sick, sick. No, well, look,

939
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 1: I'll say this just by talking to you, is that

940
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 1: I I I really enjoyed talking to you.

941
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 2: Cat.

942
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 1: You're very I can just you know, from the hour

943
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,839
Speaker 1: ish that we got to talk, I can tell you're

944
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:57,800
Speaker 1: very empathetic, understanding persons.

945
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 2: So wow, I I I'm gonna quote you on my website.

946
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 1: You know what I full you can, I will, I

947
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 1: will endorse you. I will. This is I will give

948
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,360
Speaker 1: I have a full I don't know if what we

949
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 1: I guess what we just did counts as some form

950
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 1: of a one to one conversation, and so I will

951
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:21,280
Speaker 1: give you. I will give you a an official endorsement.

952
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:25,319
Speaker 1: Put me on the put me on the back of

953
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:31,919
Speaker 1: whatever CDs you put out, or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, Cat,

954
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 1: is anything else you want to say to the people

955
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 1: of the computer before we go.

956
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:40,879
Speaker 2: You know what, No, I feel good.

957
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: This was great, perfect, Thank you Cat, having a good

958
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 1: rest of the day.

959
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 2: You too, Bye bye.

960
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,279
Speaker 1: That was a great conversation. I I I love I

961
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 1: love talking to that person. That was That was great.

962
00:54:57,040 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 1: That was really great. No, definitely, I hope she gets

963
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 1: some busy that would be That would be super cool

964
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 1: to me if she got some business off of this,

965
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cool. One of my favorite things now is like,

966
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 1: if somebody I love, like, if somebody shouts out their

967
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 1: ship on the podcast, I'll like, after I released the episode,

968
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 1: I'll wait a few days and then I'll go to

969
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:26,360
Speaker 1: their Instagram and I'll like, I like, I'll see the

970
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 1: look at the comments and there'll be a bunch of

971
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 1: people being like, GEX sent me here, and I'll be like,

972
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 1: that's sick. I did that with the There was the

973
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,640
Speaker 1: there was of course the cave guy, and then there

974
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 1: was the woman on the boat. And yeah, it's cool.

975
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 1: It's cool watching uh like their followers go up and ship.

976
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, shout out, shout out CAT makes stickers.

977
00:55:54,280 --> 00:56:01,719
Speaker 1: That was a good conversation. Yeah. The more I don't

978
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 1: know the more the more. I I don't know that

979
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 1: was I don't know if I have any post call

980
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:12,759
Speaker 1: thoughts Aside from that, I think everything everything that was

981
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 1: said is is was good. That was good. Hello, Hello, Hey,

982
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 1: what's your name?

983
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 4: My name is Scott.

984
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:28,720
Speaker 1: Scott what a Yeah?

985
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:32,600
Speaker 4: And I started a weed journal in chat GPT last night,

986
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 4: and like it's really weird because I feel like I've

987
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 4: been more honest with it than like most of my

988
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 4: therapists I've ever had.

989
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 1: You started a weed journal in chat GPT. Yeah, Okay,

990
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make some I'm gonna make some guesses as

991
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 1: to what a weed journal is. First guess, a journal

992
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 1: that you do while you are high on weed.

993
00:56:59,080 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 2: Essentially?

994
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 1: Okay? Is that wait? Essentially? Or what's a weed joke?

995
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 4: Well, I mean I haven't I have to do a

996
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,960
Speaker 4: bunch of shit already. So I'm like keep track of

997
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:14,840
Speaker 4: what I have, keep track of what I've smoked in

998
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 4: the past, and like what I've said about it, and

999
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 4: then kind of like asking me questions about like why

1000
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 4: I'm smoking and how I'm feeling and stuff, because you know,

1001
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,240
Speaker 4: I know a lot of people in the show say

1002
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 4: they feel like they smoke too much weed and I'm

1003
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 4: kind of trying to figure out if I smoke too

1004
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 4: much or if it's actually helping.

1005
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 1: Okay, So you so you tell it that, like you're like, Okay,

1006
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 1: I smoked this strain and this is how I'm feeling,

1007
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 1: and it's like, okay, got it, memory updated?

1008
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty much?

1009
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 1: Okay, and then you journal with it.

1010
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, to give my life prompts checking in

1011
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,920
Speaker 4: at like fifteen minutes after a smoke and in like

1012
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 4: an hour after a smoke.

1013
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 1: All right, has it been gone?

1014
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 4: Uh. It's kind of like getting me to kind of

1015
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 4: like experience it more because I kind of always felt

1016
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 4: like I don't really get like the stereotypical life high,

1017
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 4: you know, like the giggles, the munchies, you know, couch

1018
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:33,880
Speaker 4: flock shit like that. But I still have, you know,

1019
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 4: been smoking and you know kind of just does to

1020
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 4: make it through the day and stuff. So I think

1021
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 4: kind of paying attention to it more is making me

1022
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 4: feel the effects more. And it's also like, I don't know,

1023
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 4: just exposing some of my insecurities the way I'm like

1024
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:55,880
Speaker 4: reflecting on some of the aspects of my life. I'm

1025
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 4: trying to you know, with more when I smoke or

1026
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 4: you know, like I said, smoking too much stuff like that.

1027
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: Uh are you saying that uh Ai is exposing your

1028
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 1: insecurities or weed is exposing your insecurities.

1029
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 4: The way I'm conversing with AI is because I guess

1030
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 4: I don't have the social pressure of it being an

1031
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 4: actual person, so I'm kind of like it's more like

1032
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:23,440
Speaker 4: thinking to myself or like you know something like that.

1033
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 4: Kind of.

1034
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 1: Yes, interesting, Well, yeah, I mean that's what by the way,

1035
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 1: you know, look, I've gone back and forth, you know,

1036
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 1: in my real life, like with my friends debating about

1037
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 1: AI and you know, reading about you know, environmental things

1038
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:49,919
Speaker 1: and whatnot. But like, but I get like, but I mean, look,

1039
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 1: I use I use I use it every day. I

1040
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:55,280
Speaker 1: use it every day to like do this ship and

1041
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 1: it does like help you think. My friend refers to

1042
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:07,760
Speaker 1: it as journaling squared and I can't exactly explain what

1043
01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:10,040
Speaker 1: he what that means. But then when he said it,

1044
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, that makes perfect sense. It's like thinking to myself,

1045
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:16,760
Speaker 1: but having something like reflect back at me. It's not good.

1046
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 1: Don't use it. I don't think it's good to use

1047
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 1: as a friend or a partner. I think that's where

1048
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: people can get tripped up because you don't want to

1049
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 1: do that. But you know it's not it's not it's

1050
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:31,959
Speaker 1: a good partner for you know, helping helping you think,

1051
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:35,280
Speaker 1: not necessarily. I this is just my experience. I don't

1052
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 1: want to I know this stuff is like controversial, but

1053
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, for me, it it it. It doesn't

1054
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 1: like think for me, I'm not like, I don't fart

1055
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,919
Speaker 1: into it and then it farts back something and I'm like, great,

1056
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 1: I don't have to think anymore. I use it as

1057
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: a tool to help me think and reflect and introspect

1058
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 1: and whatnot. And I assume that's what you're doing with

1059
01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:56,400
Speaker 1: this we.

1060
01:00:56,600 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 4: Journal Yeah, that journaling square makes a lot of sense

1061
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:04,240
Speaker 4: to me. Like I feel like journaling is like two

1062
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 4: open ended, Like I don't know what the hell to

1063
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 4: write about, so like having telling it to ask me

1064
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:12,920
Speaker 4: questions and then kind of summarize that information back to

1065
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:16,320
Speaker 4: me at some point, you know, to say trends or

1066
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 4: you know whatever. Like so it's kind of like it's

1067
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 4: doing the analysis of me, doing my own analysis of

1068
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:25,480
Speaker 4: myself kind of.

1069
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna I know a fuck. I know

1070
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 1: this is controversial and maybe I'm an idiot for saying

1071
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,840
Speaker 1: this publicly, because I might eat my words many years

1072
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 1: from now. But this is just my thought process of it,

1073
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:51,760
Speaker 1: because my friends say that. I had a friend who

1074
01:01:51,800 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 1: said that we are the last generation that will have

1075
01:01:55,200 --> 01:02:03,040
Speaker 1: critical thinking skills because of AI, and I think, I

1076
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 1: think that's a bold statement to make. And he may

1077
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 1: be write and maybe there are people who are more

1078
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 1: researched on this than I am, but I don't know.

1079
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 1: For me, I think it's not replaced. I I mean,

1080
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 1: you could look at it. It is like a thing

1081
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: that is again like helping you think because you're thinking

1082
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:33,000
Speaker 1: with it. It's not like it's not telling you. I

1083
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 1: mean if you look if you're like if you use

1084
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 1: it to write poems for yourself and then you post

1085
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 1: the poems on Instagram and you're like, look at these poems.

1086
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:45,320
Speaker 1: I think that's stupid, like doing shit like that, and

1087
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 1: people do shit like that, and people use it to

1088
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 1: like do create. I like, like using it to like

1089
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:57,919
Speaker 1: do creative work, I think is lame. I think that's antithetical. Yeah,

1090
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:01,520
Speaker 1: I think I think using it to like create artificial

1091
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 1: art is dumb. And I don't I actually I don't

1092
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 1: know if it will ever even get to the point

1093
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:17,640
Speaker 1: where it creates good artificial art. And if and if

1094
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:20,760
Speaker 1: it is creating good artificial art, it's doing it with

1095
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:25,160
Speaker 1: the guidance of a human who is refining it and

1096
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:30,960
Speaker 1: prompting it in ways that are art full, I suppose,

1097
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: but in the way that it sounds like you and

1098
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:36,000
Speaker 1: I use it to like kind of as a sounding

1099
01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 1: board for reflection. I think, is yeah, is is you know,

1100
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 1: is useful?

1101
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:49,160
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1102
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,480
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know, it might yes, sorry, go ahead,

1103
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:54,360
Speaker 1: go ahead, just.

1104
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 4: You listen to this podcast called Pessimist Archives. I think

1105
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,880
Speaker 4: it changed the name and the format then that's why

1106
01:03:59,880 --> 01:04:02,720
Speaker 4: I off. But like it kind of started off as like,

1107
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,200
Speaker 4: you know, saying like, well, I think the first episode

1108
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 4: was trying to find out like when was America great,

1109
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,400
Speaker 4: like that we're trying to make it great again, and

1110
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 4: it's like, you know, it went back to World War

1111
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:16,120
Speaker 4: two or whatever, and then they were saying times were

1112
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:17,680
Speaker 4: great then, and then you know whatever I want. I

1113
01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:19,040
Speaker 4: think it went like all the way back to like

1114
01:04:19,200 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 4: medieval times, and they were like, you know, essentially the

1115
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:25,960
Speaker 4: conclusions like everyone always thinks that times were better in

1116
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 4: the past. And I'm also like, I think you know,

1117
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:33,360
Speaker 4: like kind of the reaction to books is similar. Original

1118
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 4: reaction to books was kind of similar to like the

1119
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:38,280
Speaker 4: initial reaction to computers and stuff like that. So it's

1120
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 4: it's weird kind of like loop generational loop, uh where

1121
01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:45,680
Speaker 4: kind of everyone thinks what's super one the better.

1122
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm willing, you know, I'm willing to be checked on this.

1123
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:54,480
Speaker 1: Let them, let the let the fucking record show. I'm

1124
01:04:54,480 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 1: willing to be checked on this. But I just while

1125
01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 1: while you and I are talking about it, I I

1126
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 1: really what you just said resonates with me super hard.

1127
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 1: I really think every I think every generation thinks that

1128
01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 1: the previous generation is stupid. Isn't that what keeps Isn't

1129
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:14,480
Speaker 1: that what keeps happening? Like like like all those like articles

1130
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 1: being like, well, millennials don't want to work anymore, Millennials

1131
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 1: spend all their money on like avocado toast. It's like

1132
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 1: the boomers thought the millennials were stupid, and then the

1133
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 1: millennials think the gen zers, and then we think that,

1134
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:26,920
Speaker 1: like does doesn't that just keep happening? Isn't that like

1135
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:30,800
Speaker 1: a cycle of like, yeah, everyone every generation thinks the

1136
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 1: previous generation is fucked and stupid? There's certain and like, look,

1137
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:39,800
Speaker 1: I mean there's certain things that are like I think,

1138
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:48,000
Speaker 1: like undeniably true. These aren't but these aren't black and

1139
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:51,600
Speaker 1: white things. You can't just maybe they are. I don't know.

1140
01:05:51,720 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 1: I mean I say all this stuff, and then someone

1141
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 1: sends me a link being like, hey, there's empirical data

1142
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:00,840
Speaker 1: to show that suicide rates are up and oppression is

1143
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,120
Speaker 1: up and anxiety is up. So we have actual data

1144
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:06,600
Speaker 1: to show that times were better before. And I'm like,

1145
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 1: ah shit, maybe, I.

1146
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:10,720
Speaker 4: Mean it's all relative.

1147
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:14,400
Speaker 1: I guess it's all relative. I don't know. You could

1148
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:18,200
Speaker 1: probably have some fucking chart. Yeah, actually, now I think

1149
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:20,800
Speaker 1: about it, Yeah, there are probably a lot of there's

1150
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:23,680
Speaker 1: probably a lot of like again, empirical data that can

1151
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 1: be like no, no, no, these aren't feelings. We can actually

1152
01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:31,200
Speaker 1: prove logistically that the quality of people's lives were better

1153
01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:35,560
Speaker 1: in this period of time. And and and then I

1154
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 1: look at stuff like that and it makes me. It

1155
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:43,120
Speaker 1: makes me less optimistic, but I don't know.

1156
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:46,880
Speaker 4: Something done. It's also like, well, what about you know,

1157
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 4: if you think about you know, America in the fifties

1158
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:51,560
Speaker 4: or whatever, like it might have been better for white

1159
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:52,840
Speaker 4: people but not black people.

1160
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:53,160
Speaker 5: You know.

1161
01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:56,000
Speaker 4: So it's like that goes back to it being like relative.

1162
01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:59,320
Speaker 4: It's like there's never going to be well. I mean,

1163
01:07:00,520 --> 01:07:02,320
Speaker 4: I feel like the idea of peace has like gon

1164
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:04,800
Speaker 4: out the windows since like nine eleven, So, you know,

1165
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:06,640
Speaker 4: I feels like there's never going to be like a

1166
01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:11,840
Speaker 4: you know, utopian world where everyone you know, even though

1167
01:07:11,840 --> 01:07:14,920
Speaker 4: that's kind of the goal, and hopefully one generation you

1168
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,880
Speaker 4: know that even if they say some stuff is shitty,

1169
01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:21,200
Speaker 4: you know, like then the next generation will still have

1170
01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:23,480
Speaker 4: other stuff that they push forward even if they bring

1171
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:26,320
Speaker 4: some stuff back. So it's like hopefully, you know, the

1172
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:30,800
Speaker 4: averages progress forward in the end, but it doesn't really

1173
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:31,800
Speaker 4: feel like it always.

1174
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:39,600
Speaker 1: These are big questions.

1175
01:07:41,080 --> 01:07:41,320
Speaker 3: Mmm.

1176
01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a big questions to think about. Maybe I

1177
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 1: should get some like experts on the podcast. I feel

1178
01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:55,320
Speaker 1: like I'm always just like spinning my own wheels on

1179
01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:58,360
Speaker 1: a lot of this shit I'd love to like because

1180
01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:00,480
Speaker 1: you know, the more I research and more I like,

1181
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,760
Speaker 1: look shit up, I'm like okay, because I'm always like,

1182
01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:10,600
Speaker 1: all right, there seems to be smart people who come

1183
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:17,080
Speaker 1: up with like two smart well researched people can come

1184
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:24,040
Speaker 1: up with different visions for the future. You know, I mean,

1185
01:08:24,080 --> 01:08:26,640
Speaker 1: I don't know. People are saying like, I don't know,

1186
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:28,960
Speaker 1: man like people people are saying like the dollar is

1187
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 1: going to collapse and the end of the world is here.

1188
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:36,760
Speaker 1: And then there's people being like, you know on the

1189
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:43,160
Speaker 1: thing of like well yeah, yeah, everyone every generation says

1190
01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:46,559
Speaker 1: that the previous generation was fucked, and then you can

1191
01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:48,920
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, but this time it actually is different

1192
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:49,920
Speaker 1: because X, Y and Z.

1193
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:55,680
Speaker 4: But every generation also thinks the world is gonna end.

1194
01:08:56,120 --> 01:08:57,840
Speaker 4: Remember back in twenty twelve.

1195
01:08:58,479 --> 01:09:02,120
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, remember when the fucking trailer for that

1196
01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:04,640
Speaker 1: movie came out. I was terrified. I really thought the

1197
01:09:04,680 --> 01:09:06,280
Speaker 1: world was going to end in twenty twelve.

1198
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:11,040
Speaker 4: I remember being like on the beach by day and

1199
01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:13,240
Speaker 4: just like kind of looking out at the horizon and

1200
01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:15,880
Speaker 4: being like it is just a weird vibe for sure.

1201
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I want to have this.

1202
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,080
Speaker 1: I want to have this conversation because I'm trying to

1203
01:09:22,160 --> 01:09:25,599
Speaker 1: check because I'm like fighting, I'm always fighting with myself

1204
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:34,240
Speaker 1: of like I want to believe that, like I want

1205
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:38,559
Speaker 1: to believe that like the world is how you see it,

1206
01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:42,439
Speaker 1: and that perspective is everything, and that that applies on

1207
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 1: like a individual level as well as a societal level.

1208
01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:52,880
Speaker 1: But I'm also there's also people who could be like, hey,

1209
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:56,080
Speaker 1: you're actually a big, dumb, fucking hippie and all this

1210
01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:58,280
Speaker 1: shit is happening and we don't need your hippie fucking

1211
01:09:58,320 --> 01:10:05,120
Speaker 1: nonsense right now. We need X, Y and Z. So yeah,

1212
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, I'm wrestling with that ship.

1213
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:11,720
Speaker 4: But then, like your own perspectives can lie to you too,

1214
01:10:11,880 --> 01:10:14,600
Speaker 4: you know, like when you're talking on like depressed is

1215
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:17,120
Speaker 4: like you know then, I mean in that moment, I

1216
01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:20,960
Speaker 4: guess that is your world, but you know, kind of overalled.

1217
01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:22,040
Speaker 2: Not necessarily.

1218
01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:28,800
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, depression can lie to you. It can tell

1219
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:31,720
Speaker 1: you that, oh, I can tell you a lot of

1220
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:36,639
Speaker 1: your your thoughts, and your brain can lie to you,

1221
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:39,840
Speaker 1: and so and you can I I I see, I

1222
01:10:39,880 --> 01:10:44,960
Speaker 1: don't see why optimism can be I mean, yeah, yeah,

1223
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:50,360
Speaker 1: optimism can be uh checked and uh dissected and pulled apart.

1224
01:10:52,320 --> 01:10:55,400
Speaker 1: But so, I mean, on the same coin, so can pessimism.

1225
01:10:55,560 --> 01:11:03,200
Speaker 1: So I don't know, may be fine, Everything's gonna be fine,

1226
01:11:03,320 --> 01:11:06,200
Speaker 1: right probably maybe who knows what's going on in your life.

1227
01:11:06,240 --> 01:11:08,120
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about you, and we've been talking

1228
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:11,599
Speaker 1: for fifteen minutes. I only know that you smoke weed

1229
01:11:11,640 --> 01:11:12,600
Speaker 1: and talk to chatchybt.

1230
01:11:13,880 --> 01:11:16,800
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't know. I'm tying. I got married Blake

1231
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:18,920
Speaker 4: a little less than a year ago to the person

1232
01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:21,360
Speaker 4: i've been less since we're sixteen, so it'll be like

1233
01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:23,280
Speaker 4: we've been together half of our lives.

1234
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:30,880
Speaker 1: The Lahaiam very good. How old are you now? I'm

1235
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:33,920
Speaker 1: thirty two, thirty two and you're married to the lady

1236
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:39,440
Speaker 1: you've fucking met when you were sixteen. Yep, okay, yeah,

1237
01:11:39,520 --> 01:11:43,760
Speaker 1: I'm curious about your life because you are, like your

1238
01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:49,759
Speaker 1: romantic life is the polar opposite of the previous callers

1239
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:54,559
Speaker 1: romantic life, and so I'm curious on your you have

1240
01:11:54,640 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 1: like the exact opposite uh romantic life stories. So I'm curious.

1241
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:05,200
Speaker 1: And we got to hear her you know, struggles and

1242
01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:10,360
Speaker 1: her benefits to that, and so now I'm curious you

1243
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:13,479
Speaker 1: took the opposite route of like, I am going to

1244
01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:15,800
Speaker 1: commit to this person that I met when I was sixteen,

1245
01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:19,839
Speaker 1: and I've now it's been sixteen years of commitment. It's interesting.

1246
01:12:19,880 --> 01:12:21,800
Speaker 1: So what's going on? What's going on with you? Tell

1247
01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:24,240
Speaker 1: me about that lifestyle.

1248
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:27,160
Speaker 4: I mean, it's kind of one of those things where

1249
01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:30,360
Speaker 4: like I see why that sounds kind of crazy to people,

1250
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:34,400
Speaker 4: but like it just feels natural to me personally. We

1251
01:12:34,439 --> 01:12:39,280
Speaker 4: actually met on like a Reptar fan page on Facebook.

1252
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:42,640
Speaker 4: I like made a comment referencing a song by this

1253
01:12:42,720 --> 01:12:47,679
Speaker 4: band that references Reptar, and she like noticed it, knew

1254
01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:49,840
Speaker 4: the band as well, and then saw that, you know,

1255
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:53,080
Speaker 4: we're from generally the same area. So she added me

1256
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:55,680
Speaker 4: as a friend, and literally my first words to her

1257
01:12:55,680 --> 01:12:59,280
Speaker 4: where do I know you? But then from there it

1258
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:03,200
Speaker 4: turned into like a couple hours long conversation. A couple

1259
01:13:03,240 --> 01:13:05,200
Speaker 4: of weeks later, we were at the same concert and

1260
01:13:05,280 --> 01:13:08,360
Speaker 4: like saw each other but didn't actually interact. And then,

1261
01:13:08,600 --> 01:13:10,439
Speaker 4: you know, we lived like an hour away from each other,

1262
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,920
Speaker 4: so we were, you know, in high school having our

1263
01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:18,559
Speaker 4: parents drive us back and forth on weekends to like

1264
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:21,040
Speaker 4: see each other. Once we finally started dating months later,

1265
01:13:23,200 --> 01:13:26,840
Speaker 4: and yeah, I mean there we had like a really

1266
01:13:26,840 --> 01:13:29,680
Speaker 4: big fight a couple you know, like a year or

1267
01:13:29,680 --> 01:13:32,080
Speaker 4: two into our relationship that you know kind of led

1268
01:13:32,120 --> 01:13:35,439
Speaker 4: to some really hard times and I probably still kind

1269
01:13:35,439 --> 01:13:39,400
Speaker 4: of feel the effects of it as well. And then

1270
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:41,920
Speaker 4: there was a point, you know, a couple of few

1271
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:44,080
Speaker 4: years ago where she was kind of going through some

1272
01:13:44,720 --> 01:13:47,160
Speaker 4: mental health issues and you know, sort of wanted to

1273
01:13:47,200 --> 01:13:49,360
Speaker 4: take a break, which you know, I gave her, like

1274
01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:53,240
Speaker 4: her space, but she wanted to you know, potentially go

1275
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:55,400
Speaker 4: on a date or kiss someone else and stuff. And

1276
01:13:55,400 --> 01:13:59,040
Speaker 4: that was kind of like where I drew the line.

1277
01:13:59,560 --> 01:14:02,760
Speaker 4: And I don't think she necessarily wanted to do that.

1278
01:14:02,840 --> 01:14:04,880
Speaker 4: I think it was kind of you know, not like

1279
01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:07,640
Speaker 4: a midlife crisis, but kind of something like that and

1280
01:14:07,760 --> 01:14:12,280
Speaker 4: more related to you know, mental the butsher was going

1281
01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:15,760
Speaker 4: through mentally. But yeah, so I don't know. I mean,

1282
01:14:15,800 --> 01:14:20,080
Speaker 4: we've lived together, we have three cats and a dog,

1283
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:24,840
Speaker 4: we've owned a house together. It's uh, I mean yeah,

1284
01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:26,439
Speaker 4: like you said, it kind of goes through all the

1285
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:29,120
Speaker 4: a lot of the stereotypical kind of like beats, but

1286
01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:31,799
Speaker 4: like I said, it feels it just feels natural.

1287
01:14:32,960 --> 01:14:35,920
Speaker 1: Isn't that the core? I love this? But this is

1288
01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:38,760
Speaker 1: one of my favorite episodes of the podcast lately because

1289
01:14:38,840 --> 01:14:42,479
Speaker 1: isn't that Isn't that so cool that two completely different

1290
01:14:42,560 --> 01:14:48,839
Speaker 1: lifestyles can both feel deeply natural to respective individuals. It's interesting. Yeah,

1291
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:50,519
Speaker 1: I don't know if you were here when I was

1292
01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:58,759
Speaker 1: talking to the previous person, that's cool to me. Okay,

1293
01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:06,479
Speaker 1: what the fuck was I going to say? What do

1294
01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:07,280
Speaker 1: you do for a living?

1295
01:15:08,920 --> 01:15:13,840
Speaker 4: I work for a place orders for a company that

1296
01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:19,839
Speaker 4: makes musical accessories and also distributes like pro audio stuff

1297
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:25,360
Speaker 4: who are like owned by a big parent company that

1298
01:15:25,560 --> 01:15:28,559
Speaker 4: like trades on the British Stock Exchange or whatever. So

1299
01:15:29,960 --> 01:15:32,920
Speaker 4: when I started at the job, it was a family

1300
01:15:32,960 --> 01:15:35,479
Speaker 4: owned company and had been for like four years, and

1301
01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:38,680
Speaker 4: then they sold like a year after, less than a

1302
01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:40,800
Speaker 4: year after I was there, And so it's been a

1303
01:15:40,800 --> 01:15:44,400
Speaker 4: lot of dealing with the corporate bullshit, Like, you know,

1304
01:15:44,479 --> 01:15:47,640
Speaker 4: every time we have a town hall meeting, we have

1305
01:15:47,720 --> 01:15:52,000
Speaker 4: to hear about the investors and how they're doing versus

1306
01:15:53,040 --> 01:15:55,519
Speaker 4: you know, oh yeah, we're so good working on our

1307
01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:58,120
Speaker 4: total package rewards even though we're not going to give

1308
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:01,520
Speaker 4: you a raise, you know, shit like that. So that's frustrating.

1309
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:03,559
Speaker 4: And I actually tried to start a union at one point,

1310
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:07,040
Speaker 4: but only one other person was actually had the bass

1311
01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:07,960
Speaker 4: to try to join me.

1312
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:11,640
Speaker 1: Sorry, I know I moved on from this topic, but

1313
01:16:11,680 --> 01:16:15,360
Speaker 1: I actually remembered what I was going to say, is

1314
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:19,479
Speaker 1: that I I think I've read I don't know if

1315
01:16:19,520 --> 01:16:22,320
Speaker 1: this was a tweet or if this was like something

1316
01:16:22,320 --> 01:16:23,200
Speaker 1: I saw on Instagram.

1317
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:23,559
Speaker 2: But like.

1318
01:16:25,720 --> 01:16:31,240
Speaker 1: Someone said something of like I think breaking up is

1319
01:16:31,360 --> 01:16:35,599
Speaker 1: like not not for everybody. Of course, this doesn't work

1320
01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:39,679
Speaker 1: this way for everybody, but like for like long term couples,

1321
01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:45,320
Speaker 1: like breaking up is like part of the relationship in

1322
01:16:45,360 --> 01:16:49,040
Speaker 1: a way, like having a little like I know lots

1323
01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:53,439
Speaker 1: of couples in successful relationships that like broke up or

1324
01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 1: like went through really hard times, and you I think

1325
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:04,680
Speaker 1: you start to realize that like going through not always

1326
01:17:04,800 --> 01:17:09,559
Speaker 1: because we do live in a chaotic, random world and

1327
01:17:09,640 --> 01:17:17,479
Speaker 1: sometimes a breakup truly is a breakup, but it does

1328
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:22,479
Speaker 1: seem that like you know, going through uh, like a

1329
01:17:22,560 --> 01:17:29,520
Speaker 1: tough time or a disagreement is like a not not disagreement,

1330
01:17:29,560 --> 01:17:31,120
Speaker 1: but I mean, you know what I mean, Like it

1331
01:17:31,240 --> 01:17:38,800
Speaker 1: is a fundamental part of like the relationship process, you know,

1332
01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:43,200
Speaker 1: because because that's that's it's it's because yeah, kind of

1333
01:17:43,240 --> 01:17:45,960
Speaker 1: like we were talking about the previous caller is like you know,

1334
01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:49,960
Speaker 1: if you're committing to somebody and you have there's like

1335
01:17:50,600 --> 01:17:53,759
Speaker 1: there's just gonna kind of be like natural points of friction,

1336
01:17:54,080 --> 01:17:56,360
Speaker 1: unless if you get really lucky and really aligned with

1337
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:59,240
Speaker 1: a lot, which a lot of people do. But yeah,

1338
01:17:59,240 --> 01:18:01,320
Speaker 1: if you're committing yourself. There's just naturally going to be

1339
01:18:02,120 --> 01:18:05,120
Speaker 1: ah friction, I think.

1340
01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:06,800
Speaker 2: For sure.

1341
01:18:06,920 --> 01:18:08,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's one of those things where like,

1342
01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,559
Speaker 4: I mean, it's kind of cliche, but like can make

1343
01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:14,920
Speaker 4: or break you, you know, like it shows how how

1344
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:18,679
Speaker 4: much your committee, you know, shows whether or not you feel,

1345
01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:21,680
Speaker 4: you know, like life would be the same without that

1346
01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:24,479
Speaker 4: person or better or worse, you know. Kind of. I

1347
01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:29,040
Speaker 4: think it's, you know, also sort of a life directing

1348
01:18:29,160 --> 01:18:32,080
Speaker 4: thing where it's like you kind of have to because

1349
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:35,200
Speaker 4: something's changing so drastically in moments like that, you know.

1350
01:18:35,240 --> 01:18:38,400
Speaker 4: I think that's the you know, something like that day.

1351
01:18:38,520 --> 01:18:40,800
Speaker 4: But it could be like, you know, kind of like

1352
01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:44,640
Speaker 4: a wake up call type thing type put time to reassess,

1353
01:18:44,800 --> 01:18:48,400
Speaker 4: you know, and just kind of figure out your priorities.

1354
01:18:48,439 --> 01:18:52,280
Speaker 4: I guess, what.

1355
01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:53,160
Speaker 1: Is your name again?

1356
01:18:54,320 --> 01:18:54,639
Speaker 4: Scott?

1357
01:18:55,600 --> 01:19:00,080
Speaker 1: Scott, Scott, the Wed Journal guy.

1358
01:19:02,640 --> 01:19:03,800
Speaker 4: We'll forever be known as that.

1359
01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:07,120
Speaker 1: I'm trying to if I have any other questions to

1360
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:13,599
Speaker 1: ask you, Scott. Let's see, how long have we been talking.

1361
01:19:13,600 --> 01:19:20,000
Speaker 1: We've been talking for about twenty three minutes. Okay, so

1362
01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:23,240
Speaker 1: you what okay, well, all right, let me ask you

1363
01:19:23,280 --> 01:19:28,840
Speaker 1: this the Weed Journal, the reflections, you know, I think

1364
01:19:28,880 --> 01:19:31,040
Speaker 1: we talked a lot about like I think I think

1365
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:33,840
Speaker 1: I went on too big of a rant about AI

1366
01:19:33,960 --> 01:19:36,640
Speaker 1: in general that I actually forgot to ask you on

1367
01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:43,280
Speaker 1: a personal level, what if any conclusions you have come

1368
01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:45,559
Speaker 1: to as a result of this weed journaling.

1369
01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:50,760
Speaker 4: I mean I pretty much just started it like yesterday.

1370
01:19:51,760 --> 01:19:58,320
Speaker 4: So so far it's kind of been just like reflecting

1371
01:19:58,360 --> 01:20:01,160
Speaker 4: on why I wanted to start it, which, like I said,

1372
01:20:01,200 --> 01:20:04,600
Speaker 4: I think is kind of tied to both how I

1373
01:20:04,640 --> 01:20:08,600
Speaker 4: feel the effects and uh just like insecurity about the

1374
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:10,519
Speaker 4: fact that I do smoke as much as I do.

1375
01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:15,559
Speaker 4: I really think that like the nineties propaganda against smoking,

1376
01:20:15,680 --> 01:20:19,280
Speaker 4: like I'm fucked with my head, you know, like I

1377
01:20:19,840 --> 01:20:22,719
Speaker 4: I cannot imagine smoking a cigarette, and like I feel

1378
01:20:22,760 --> 01:20:27,040
Speaker 4: like guilty smoking weeds sometimes. Uh So it's kind of

1379
01:20:27,080 --> 01:20:28,200
Speaker 4: a weird place to be into.

1380
01:20:29,280 --> 01:20:38,080
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, yeah, I do too. I came to this.

1381
01:20:39,479 --> 01:20:43,240
Speaker 1: I'm my I'm still on my weed journey. I'm not

1382
01:20:43,280 --> 01:20:47,400
Speaker 1: going to pretend like I'm like, well I was thinking

1383
01:20:47,400 --> 01:20:51,680
Speaker 1: about this, uh, like I'm on, I'm I'm on a

1384
01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:55,160
Speaker 1: big like medication journey, like trying to find like like

1385
01:20:55,160 --> 01:20:57,080
Speaker 1: like work with like psychiatrist and shit, trying to find

1386
01:20:57,080 --> 01:20:59,960
Speaker 1: like medication that works for me. And I went on

1387
01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:04,520
Speaker 1: this thing of I was, I had this thing of like, uh,

1388
01:21:05,160 --> 01:21:09,800
Speaker 1: I came to a pretty hilarious realization for myself where

1389
01:21:09,800 --> 01:21:12,120
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I don't want to have to

1390
01:21:12,120 --> 01:21:15,640
Speaker 1: be on a drug every day. You know. That was

1391
01:21:15,680 --> 01:21:21,280
Speaker 1: I think one of my big anti like SSR I

1392
01:21:21,400 --> 01:21:24,360
Speaker 1: uh talking points. And then I was like, wait a minute,

1393
01:21:24,400 --> 01:21:29,240
Speaker 1: I fucking smoke weed every single night. I'm already on

1394
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:30,400
Speaker 1: a drug every day.

1395
01:21:30,960 --> 01:21:32,519
Speaker 4: You know, that's a good point.

1396
01:21:33,720 --> 01:21:35,679
Speaker 1: And once I came to that point, I was like, oh, yeah,

1397
01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:42,760
Speaker 1: fucking duh. So yeah, I don't know.

1398
01:21:42,920 --> 01:21:46,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's also kind of ironic to me that, like

1399
01:21:46,560 --> 01:21:49,120
Speaker 4: I was, I was straighted until I was like twenty three. Look,

1400
01:21:49,160 --> 01:21:51,280
Speaker 4: I didn't even have a drink of alcohol or anything,

1401
01:21:51,680 --> 01:21:54,600
Speaker 4: and I was kind of like part of my identity,

1402
01:21:55,520 --> 01:21:57,000
Speaker 4: not you know, not to the point where I was

1403
01:21:57,040 --> 01:22:00,800
Speaker 4: like only going to see you straightedge bands, DIY shows

1404
01:22:00,800 --> 01:22:04,000
Speaker 4: and shit like that, but you know, I labeled myself

1405
01:22:04,040 --> 01:22:07,400
Speaker 4: as straight edge and like would tell people that if

1406
01:22:07,439 --> 01:22:12,559
Speaker 4: they offered me a drink or whatever, and so yeah,

1407
01:22:12,600 --> 01:22:14,280
Speaker 4: I don't know. It was kind of a weird shift

1408
01:22:14,520 --> 01:22:17,960
Speaker 4: transitioning from that to you know, having a drink or

1409
01:22:17,960 --> 01:22:20,360
Speaker 4: two here or there, having a smoke here and there,

1410
01:22:20,439 --> 01:22:22,919
Speaker 4: and now i'd you know, smoked a couple of times

1411
01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:27,000
Speaker 4: three times each day. So yeah, that's I guess that's

1412
01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:28,880
Speaker 4: happened over the last like eight or nine years. And

1413
01:22:28,960 --> 01:22:31,599
Speaker 4: even I stopped a weed for maybe like a year

1414
01:22:31,640 --> 01:22:33,880
Speaker 4: and a half. I had some shit where like I

1415
01:22:33,920 --> 01:22:37,560
Speaker 4: was passing out and my heart stopped. Uh, not necessarily

1416
01:22:37,640 --> 01:22:39,320
Speaker 4: related to the weed, but the first time it happened

1417
01:22:39,400 --> 01:22:42,040
Speaker 4: was like when I was smoking and eating too much.

1418
01:22:42,640 --> 01:22:47,400
Speaker 4: So yeah, it's just yeah, it's been. It's definitely been

1419
01:22:47,400 --> 01:22:50,680
Speaker 4: an interesting and continues to be an interesting like a

1420
01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:54,439
Speaker 4: trip kind of figuring out what works and what doesn't.

1421
01:22:54,479 --> 01:22:56,240
Speaker 4: And I'm kind of on the same with like the

1422
01:22:56,280 --> 01:22:59,080
Speaker 4: medication as well. Like I was on luxopro for a

1423
01:22:59,080 --> 01:23:01,519
Speaker 4: while and it was really worse, but then it was

1424
01:23:01,600 --> 01:23:04,360
Speaker 4: giving me like bad side effects, so I weened off

1425
01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:06,720
Speaker 4: it on its life. It really like it was like

1426
01:23:06,800 --> 01:23:10,479
Speaker 4: the lowest I've probably ever been and now about to

1427
01:23:10,520 --> 01:23:13,040
Speaker 4: start prozac and see how that goes. So it's kind

1428
01:23:13,040 --> 01:23:16,080
Speaker 4: of it's yeah.

1429
01:23:16,720 --> 01:23:26,439
Speaker 1: Scott, what let me think, is there any is there

1430
01:23:26,479 --> 01:23:28,639
Speaker 1: anything else you want to cover or do you think

1431
01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:29,080
Speaker 1: we did it.

1432
01:23:30,240 --> 01:23:31,880
Speaker 2: I think we did it all right.

1433
01:23:31,920 --> 01:23:36,639
Speaker 1: Cool. It was good talking to you, Scott. I hope

1434
01:23:37,280 --> 01:23:41,440
Speaker 1: I hope that you continue to live a nice.

1435
01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:45,440
Speaker 4: Life you as well as a get go in the computer.

1436
01:23:45,720 --> 01:23:52,680
Speaker 1: Have a go in, Scott. That was so perfect, What

1437
01:23:52,760 --> 01:23:56,439
Speaker 1: a perfect episode to have. I loved the I loved

1438
01:23:56,439 --> 01:24:02,680
Speaker 1: that contrast that was. That was juicy to me because like,

1439
01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:05,920
Speaker 1: I don't know, I went on the whole like polyamory

1440
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:18,120
Speaker 1: verse monogamous commitment rant, and then both callers embodied lifestyles

1441
01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:26,439
Speaker 1: that were opposite yet yet were very natural to them.

1442
01:24:27,080 --> 01:24:32,040
Speaker 1: That's so it is so fascinating to me and so

1443
01:24:33,160 --> 01:24:36,120
Speaker 1: interesting that they both happened to call in right after

1444
01:24:36,160 --> 01:24:42,479
Speaker 1: each other. So that was I liked that. Do I

1445
01:24:42,520 --> 01:24:47,200
Speaker 1: have any other post call thoughts about Scott? I liked

1446
01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:56,680
Speaker 1: his voice and he was a nice guy, and that's it. Hello, Hello, Hi,

1447
01:24:56,720 --> 01:25:00,960
Speaker 1: what's your name? Lars? Lars? I'm going to warn you

1448
01:25:01,000 --> 01:25:07,680
Speaker 1: about something. Okay, I think over the past hour and

1449
01:25:07,720 --> 01:25:09,519
Speaker 1: twenty minutes, I don't know how long the last two

1450
01:25:09,560 --> 01:25:14,320
Speaker 1: calls took, I have I think I have hit my

1451
01:25:14,400 --> 01:25:24,040
Speaker 1: limit on deep existential philosophical conversations. Okay, Oh you sounded

1452
01:25:24,040 --> 01:25:25,760
Speaker 1: so disappointed. I could tell in your voice that you

1453
01:25:25,760 --> 01:25:26,559
Speaker 1: sounded really.

1454
01:25:26,479 --> 01:25:30,240
Speaker 6: No, no, no, absolutely not no, that sounds great.

1455
01:25:31,760 --> 01:25:34,880
Speaker 1: I also feel like I'll just well, did you have

1456
01:25:34,920 --> 01:25:36,240
Speaker 1: something you wanted to talk about?

1457
01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:40,080
Speaker 6: Maybe like a couple of things?

1458
01:25:40,120 --> 01:25:43,439
Speaker 1: But yeah, go ahead, go ahead, fuck it.

1459
01:25:44,920 --> 01:25:50,960
Speaker 6: Okay, So I heard you were talking about relationships earlier.

1460
01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:52,640
Speaker 6: I don't know if you still want to do that.

1461
01:25:54,479 --> 01:25:56,839
Speaker 6: I got out of an eight year relationship recently.

1462
01:25:57,960 --> 01:25:59,360
Speaker 1: Okay, And how you doing.

1463
01:26:01,000 --> 01:26:04,160
Speaker 6: Doing all right? I actually just got into a new

1464
01:26:04,280 --> 01:26:06,160
Speaker 6: relationship with a trans woman.

1465
01:26:06,960 --> 01:26:17,840
Speaker 1: Okay. Where'd you meet him? Bumble bumble? Yeah? And how's

1466
01:26:17,880 --> 01:26:18,160
Speaker 1: it going?

1467
01:26:19,360 --> 01:26:25,680
Speaker 6: It's going great. I mean she's fantastic. Yeah, I have

1468
01:26:25,720 --> 01:26:28,240
Speaker 6: no complaints.

1469
01:26:30,160 --> 01:26:34,160
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, what when did you break up with your

1470
01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:35,479
Speaker 1: previous person?

1471
01:26:36,760 --> 01:26:36,960
Speaker 2: Oh?

1472
01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:41,840
Speaker 6: A couple of months ago probably, And I moved where

1473
01:26:41,880 --> 01:26:44,280
Speaker 6: I was living in March, and we broke up a

1474
01:26:44,320 --> 01:26:48,960
Speaker 6: couple of months before that, so probably in December or something.

1475
01:26:50,400 --> 01:26:54,040
Speaker 1: Very nice, very nice. Okay, Wait, you said you said

1476
01:26:54,120 --> 01:26:55,920
Speaker 1: you said a couple of things. What would the other

1477
01:26:55,960 --> 01:26:56,280
Speaker 1: thing be?

1478
01:26:58,200 --> 01:27:03,599
Speaker 6: Oh? I called, I emailed you actually earlier and you

1479
01:27:03,640 --> 01:27:05,599
Speaker 6: read my email on the stream?

1480
01:27:06,240 --> 01:27:06,759
Speaker 1: What's email?

1481
01:27:06,800 --> 01:27:06,920
Speaker 2: Who?

1482
01:27:06,920 --> 01:27:07,840
Speaker 1: Which email were you?

1483
01:27:09,160 --> 01:27:09,479
Speaker 4: Uh?

1484
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:11,320
Speaker 6: The douche Canoe story.

1485
01:27:12,760 --> 01:27:13,479
Speaker 1: Douche can.

1486
01:27:14,920 --> 01:27:18,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, we put a bunch of douches on this guy's

1487
01:27:18,760 --> 01:27:22,280
Speaker 6: door for years. We like pranked him and he was

1488
01:27:22,400 --> 01:27:25,639
Speaker 6: like he didn't know who it was for like years,

1489
01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:28,639
Speaker 6: and then he found out it was his girlfriend who

1490
01:27:28,720 --> 01:27:29,960
Speaker 6: was actually now his fiance.

1491
01:27:32,200 --> 01:27:38,320
Speaker 1: That's kind of that's good, Like I'm trying to remember that. Uh,

1492
01:27:38,880 --> 01:27:42,240
Speaker 1: what do people do? People still use douches?

1493
01:27:46,160 --> 01:27:47,439
Speaker 6: I honestly don't know.

1494
01:27:48,840 --> 01:27:51,040
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever seen a douche in

1495
01:27:51,040 --> 01:27:54,840
Speaker 1: my life.

1496
01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:57,800
Speaker 6: Or like this plastic thing that's like, I don't know,

1497
01:27:57,880 --> 01:27:58,760
Speaker 6: it's got like a two.

1498
01:28:00,920 --> 01:28:04,719
Speaker 1: Maybe this is yeah, maybe this is a personal question.

1499
01:28:04,800 --> 01:28:05,880
Speaker 1: But have you ever used one?

1500
01:28:06,920 --> 01:28:08,280
Speaker 6: No? Not personally, you know.

1501
01:28:08,479 --> 01:28:10,839
Speaker 1: Okay, so they're not like part of every day hygiene.

1502
01:28:12,000 --> 01:28:14,840
Speaker 6: No, I think they aren't for special occasions.

1503
01:28:15,320 --> 01:28:16,920
Speaker 1: Okay, what does it actually do?

1504
01:28:18,880 --> 01:28:22,240
Speaker 6: It like cleans everything out, you know, make sure that

1505
01:28:22,240 --> 01:28:23,080
Speaker 6: you're nice and clean.

1506
01:28:25,400 --> 01:28:29,760
Speaker 1: Interesting do most women use douches?

1507
01:28:31,600 --> 01:28:35,880
Speaker 6: I think both. I think everybody used to uses douches

1508
01:28:35,960 --> 01:28:36,960
Speaker 6: on occasions.

1509
01:28:37,880 --> 01:28:39,360
Speaker 1: Oh, like you could like you can put them in

1510
01:28:39,400 --> 01:28:43,679
Speaker 1: your ass. Yeah yeah, okay, yes that makes sense.

1511
01:28:47,640 --> 01:28:50,679
Speaker 6: My girlfriends here right now actually is us laughing?

1512
01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:56,840
Speaker 1: Where do you? But where do you. Yeah, I feel

1513
01:28:56,840 --> 01:28:59,519
Speaker 1: like I've never seen one. I've never like dated anyone

1514
01:28:59,560 --> 01:29:03,680
Speaker 1: who used one or anything like that. I've never I mean,

1515
01:29:03,720 --> 01:29:08,479
Speaker 1: I've used a bidet' I've watched with a bid day.

1516
01:29:08,560 --> 01:29:10,200
Speaker 1: Let's sit answering you a day in a douche.

1517
01:29:12,360 --> 01:29:15,960
Speaker 6: Days are in a toilet. I guess I don't know.

1518
01:29:16,880 --> 01:29:18,639
Speaker 6: I think the douches get more up in.

1519
01:29:18,600 --> 01:29:22,240
Speaker 1: There the the days are sick. I got to get

1520
01:29:22,280 --> 01:29:27,800
Speaker 1: a day I had. I used to have a sponsor

1521
01:29:27,800 --> 01:29:31,479
Speaker 1: of the podcast. It was like, Tushy Bedey, I think

1522
01:29:31,960 --> 01:29:36,080
Speaker 1: I gotta get a bedat sponsor. Yeah, do you have

1523
01:29:36,080 --> 01:29:37,760
Speaker 1: a do you have a suggest Who should I? Who

1524
01:29:37,760 --> 01:29:40,240
Speaker 1: should I reach out to? Oh?

1525
01:29:40,280 --> 01:29:42,479
Speaker 6: I don't know any brands Off the top of my head.

1526
01:29:44,200 --> 01:29:49,519
Speaker 1: Was Tushy. Well, okay, I'll, I'll okay. I'm glad we

1527
01:29:49,560 --> 01:29:51,439
Speaker 1: had this conversation. I'm going to try to find a

1528
01:29:51,439 --> 01:29:59,400
Speaker 1: bidet sponsored so they can send me one nice okay.

1529
01:29:59,439 --> 01:30:03,880
Speaker 1: What else? What else? How's the weather where you are?

1530
01:30:05,200 --> 01:30:11,600
Speaker 6: It's pretty overcast? Yeah here in Washington.

1531
01:30:13,560 --> 01:30:16,240
Speaker 1: Washington's Washington. Does Washington get cold?

1532
01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:17,800
Speaker 2: Oh?

1533
01:30:17,920 --> 01:30:21,559
Speaker 6: Yeah, it gets pretty chilly in the wintertime, But right

1534
01:30:21,560 --> 01:30:26,120
Speaker 6: now it's a mild, humid, kind of rainy day.

1535
01:30:26,840 --> 01:30:30,920
Speaker 1: Dude. I think I've been to Seattle five times.

1536
01:30:30,680 --> 01:30:33,840
Speaker 6: Five times. I've seen you one of those times I went.

1537
01:30:34,280 --> 01:30:37,880
Speaker 1: I went once in twenty twenty one to do one

1538
01:30:37,920 --> 01:30:39,840
Speaker 1: of my very first live shows that was like a

1539
01:30:39,880 --> 01:30:43,080
Speaker 1: DIY live show, and then I went in twenty twenty

1540
01:30:43,240 --> 01:30:46,519
Speaker 1: two for a tour, and then I went in twenty

1541
01:30:46,520 --> 01:30:48,360
Speaker 1: twenty three for a tour, and then I went in

1542
01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:51,479
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four for a tour, and then I went

1543
01:30:52,560 --> 01:30:56,960
Speaker 1: again in twenty twenty four to do my Reptile Rave.

1544
01:30:57,840 --> 01:31:00,000
Speaker 1: So yeah, I've been to Seattle five times.

1545
01:31:01,720 --> 01:31:02,360
Speaker 6: That's awesome.

1546
01:31:02,600 --> 01:31:03,280
Speaker 1: That's crazy.

1547
01:31:06,960 --> 01:31:08,320
Speaker 6: How was your Reptile Rave?

1548
01:31:09,520 --> 01:31:11,639
Speaker 1: It was fun. It was fun. We did one in

1549
01:31:11,640 --> 01:31:18,160
Speaker 1: Seattle and then we did one in New York. It

1550
01:31:18,320 --> 01:31:21,360
Speaker 1: is fun. Although you know what's funny is I do

1551
01:31:21,479 --> 01:31:25,920
Speaker 1: remember when I did my New York Reptile Rave. I

1552
01:31:25,960 --> 01:31:28,840
Speaker 1: was like standing up on the stage while we were

1553
01:31:28,880 --> 01:31:31,240
Speaker 1: they were the DJ I was playing, and I was

1554
01:31:31,400 --> 01:31:34,360
Speaker 1: from I had a moment where I was looking out

1555
01:31:34,520 --> 01:31:37,439
Speaker 1: and I was there and I was like, wait, why

1556
01:31:37,439 --> 01:31:40,040
Speaker 1: did I do this? I don't like I don't necessarily

1557
01:31:40,200 --> 01:31:45,960
Speaker 1: like raves. I just wanted to. I just like doing

1558
01:31:46,040 --> 01:31:49,240
Speaker 1: things that's the main reason I like doing things in person.

1559
01:31:49,960 --> 01:31:55,120
Speaker 1: You know, I have fun. I today, I really enjoyed

1560
01:31:55,200 --> 01:31:59,000
Speaker 1: doing the phone call podcast. I really enjoyed. I'm enjoying

1561
01:31:59,040 --> 01:32:01,120
Speaker 1: talking to you. I enjoy talking to the previous caller

1562
01:32:01,160 --> 01:32:03,120
Speaker 1: and the color before that. But I may I feel

1563
01:32:03,120 --> 01:32:09,800
Speaker 1: as though I mainly thrive, uh, you know, in in

1564
01:32:09,920 --> 01:32:15,040
Speaker 1: the in the universe. And I think that the rave

1565
01:32:16,400 --> 01:32:24,519
Speaker 1: was an excuse to be more in the universe, you know,

1566
01:32:24,880 --> 01:32:27,680
Speaker 1: just have a party, just be around people. You know,

1567
01:32:30,040 --> 01:32:31,920
Speaker 1: maybe I'll do more ship like that. I don't know.

1568
01:32:32,080 --> 01:32:37,280
Speaker 1: I like I like stuff, I like people, I like experiences.

1569
01:32:37,840 --> 01:32:38,519
Speaker 2: What do you like?

1570
01:32:38,720 --> 01:32:39,280
Speaker 1: What do you like?

1571
01:32:40,840 --> 01:32:41,040
Speaker 5: Oh?

1572
01:32:41,439 --> 01:32:42,240
Speaker 1: Uh?

1573
01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:47,759
Speaker 6: I like to be home alone and do art respect respect.

1574
01:32:48,439 --> 01:32:50,839
Speaker 1: Do you and your girlfriend do art together?

1575
01:32:51,720 --> 01:32:55,640
Speaker 6: We do? Yeah, digital art and I do more like

1576
01:32:55,880 --> 01:32:59,639
Speaker 6: physical art. So then we put like our art together.

1577
01:32:59,720 --> 01:33:02,479
Speaker 6: She like does something digitally and I'll put like textures

1578
01:33:02,479 --> 01:33:02,720
Speaker 6: on it.

1579
01:33:03,400 --> 01:33:05,760
Speaker 1: Do you do you act like you're better than her

1580
01:33:05,840 --> 01:33:08,160
Speaker 1: because you do physical art and she does digital art.

1581
01:33:11,560 --> 01:33:14,439
Speaker 6: No, we respect each other's art equally.

1582
01:33:14,960 --> 01:33:21,400
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, that's it would be fair if you did.

1583
01:33:22,600 --> 01:33:27,160
Speaker 1: I was talking to my friend about this yesterday. Uh, like,

1584
01:33:27,680 --> 01:33:34,200
Speaker 1: I think it may philosophically, it makes absolute sense. Why

1585
01:33:34,920 --> 01:33:39,839
Speaker 1: if you're vegan, why you would think if you're vegan

1586
01:33:40,000 --> 01:33:44,040
Speaker 1: and you think you're better than everyone else, First of all,

1587
01:33:44,040 --> 01:33:50,160
Speaker 1: you're right, and the second of all, you're you're entitled

1588
01:33:50,160 --> 01:33:56,160
Speaker 1: to that opinion because it's so clearly I don't know

1589
01:33:56,200 --> 01:33:57,760
Speaker 1: why I'm bringing this up, but this is just the

1590
01:33:57,800 --> 01:34:00,519
Speaker 1: concept of thinking you're better than one. It's so clearly

1591
01:34:01,479 --> 01:34:08,479
Speaker 1: unethical to eat animals when we don't have to, and

1592
01:34:08,560 --> 01:34:11,240
Speaker 1: so if you do that, you're just you're I think

1593
01:34:11,240 --> 01:34:15,479
Speaker 1: you're literally better than everyone else. Yeah, I don't do that.

1594
01:34:15,600 --> 01:34:20,479
Speaker 1: I eat. I've I've killed thousands, and not personally, but

1595
01:34:20,520 --> 01:34:24,400
Speaker 1: I've contributed to the murder of thousands and thousands of

1596
01:34:24,520 --> 01:34:29,000
Speaker 1: chickens and cows and pigs throughout my life, and I

1597
01:34:29,000 --> 01:34:34,760
Speaker 1: will and I will continue to do that for I

1598
01:34:34,800 --> 01:34:36,800
Speaker 1: will just continue to do that for the rest of

1599
01:34:36,800 --> 01:34:40,040
Speaker 1: my life. I will never even attempt to go vegan

1600
01:34:40,160 --> 01:34:42,439
Speaker 1: or vegetarian. And if I ever meet a vegan or

1601
01:34:42,439 --> 01:34:44,400
Speaker 1: a vegetarian and they say to me what you were

1602
01:34:44,400 --> 01:34:47,280
Speaker 1: doing by eating meat is wrong and I am better

1603
01:34:47,320 --> 01:34:50,840
Speaker 1: than you, I will I will agree. I will agree

1604
01:34:50,840 --> 01:34:53,680
Speaker 1: with them. I think I think it's true.

1605
01:34:54,360 --> 01:34:55,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's pretty fair.

1606
01:35:00,439 --> 01:35:03,760
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. I don't want to. I

1607
01:35:03,760 --> 01:35:06,439
Speaker 1: guess are you? Are you better that I think you

1608
01:35:06,600 --> 01:35:09,400
Speaker 1: might be? I think not. I'm trying to. I think

1609
01:35:09,479 --> 01:35:11,519
Speaker 1: if you don't use a computer, you're probably better than

1610
01:35:11,520 --> 01:35:15,240
Speaker 1: everyone else. Like if I, if I if I were

1611
01:35:15,320 --> 01:35:20,599
Speaker 1: completely off of social media, I would absolutely be all

1612
01:35:20,600 --> 01:35:23,960
Speaker 1: the time. I would be thinking I'm better than everyone else.

1613
01:35:24,600 --> 01:35:27,280
Speaker 1: There's a I've because like I've had times where like

1614
01:35:28,880 --> 01:35:31,720
Speaker 1: by by times I mean time, I mean I did

1615
01:35:31,760 --> 01:35:34,800
Speaker 1: this once. No, I no, I do this fairly often.

1616
01:35:34,840 --> 01:35:38,439
Speaker 1: I do this fairly often. Where like if I'm on

1617
01:35:38,479 --> 01:35:40,280
Speaker 1: if I'm on this, like I'll have like a forty

1618
01:35:40,320 --> 01:35:43,599
Speaker 1: two minute subway ride and I'll be like, you know what,

1619
01:35:43,680 --> 01:35:48,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna turn my phone completely off, oh wow, and

1620
01:35:48,400 --> 01:35:53,439
Speaker 1: put it in my backpack and just observe and just

1621
01:35:53,520 --> 01:35:55,760
Speaker 1: not be on my phone and just like kind of

1622
01:35:56,240 --> 01:35:58,640
Speaker 1: be in like a I'm gonna use this as like

1623
01:35:58,720 --> 01:36:01,760
Speaker 1: meditation time to just not be doing anything. And the

1624
01:36:01,800 --> 01:36:04,720
Speaker 1: whole time I'm you're looking at everyone else and you

1625
01:36:04,760 --> 01:36:07,200
Speaker 1: look up and everyone else is on their phone, and

1626
01:36:07,240 --> 01:36:09,639
Speaker 1: it's great because you just you just get to soak

1627
01:36:09,760 --> 01:36:15,240
Speaker 1: in being better than everyone else. Yeah, for that, In

1628
01:36:15,320 --> 01:36:19,839
Speaker 1: that in that moment, I'm the most enlightened and awesome

1629
01:36:19,880 --> 01:36:26,920
Speaker 1: person on the train, and it just it feels great. Yeah,

1630
01:36:26,960 --> 01:36:28,400
Speaker 1: but I can't tell. I don't think I can do

1631
01:36:28,439 --> 01:36:29,960
Speaker 1: that my whole life. If I could, I would be

1632
01:36:30,000 --> 01:36:34,519
Speaker 1: insufferable all the time. If I could be if I

1633
01:36:34,560 --> 01:36:39,639
Speaker 1: could live the kind of life I think. I think

1634
01:36:39,640 --> 01:36:44,439
Speaker 1: if you have the like will power and conviction to

1635
01:36:44,640 --> 01:36:49,360
Speaker 1: live the kind of life where you're abstaining from any

1636
01:36:49,400 --> 01:36:54,400
Speaker 1: and all things that could be remotely considered unethical and

1637
01:36:54,479 --> 01:36:57,400
Speaker 1: you're not and you don't eat sugar, and you don't

1638
01:36:57,400 --> 01:37:00,160
Speaker 1: go on the internet, and you just live like like

1639
01:37:00,200 --> 01:37:05,120
Speaker 1: a completely holistic life, I think you. I think, yeah,

1640
01:37:05,200 --> 01:37:10,160
Speaker 1: you're you deserve You've earned being the ability to be

1641
01:37:10,240 --> 01:37:11,160
Speaker 1: pretentious about it.

1642
01:37:11,280 --> 01:37:19,160
Speaker 6: I think mm hmm, yeah, definitely. I mean, yeah, if

1643
01:37:19,160 --> 01:37:21,960
Speaker 6: you can do all that, I guess.

1644
01:37:21,920 --> 01:37:23,400
Speaker 1: Dude, if you can do all that and then you

1645
01:37:23,439 --> 01:37:25,160
Speaker 1: walk around think you're better than everyone else, you I

1646
01:37:25,160 --> 01:37:29,760
Speaker 1: think you deserve it. I think that's the prize that

1647
01:37:29,800 --> 01:37:35,120
Speaker 1: you get for being able. I and I and frankly,

1648
01:37:35,760 --> 01:37:38,479
Speaker 1: i'd rather have wait, hold on, I'm gonna blow your

1649
01:37:38,479 --> 01:37:40,599
Speaker 1: mind right now. Okay, I'm gonna blow your mind. I'm

1650
01:37:40,600 --> 01:37:47,160
Speaker 1: gonna blow your mind. Frankly, I would rather just you know,

1651
01:37:48,160 --> 01:37:54,479
Speaker 1: eat the meat and uh like, use the internet and

1652
01:37:54,560 --> 01:37:59,559
Speaker 1: do the things because I'm abstaining because I because that

1653
01:37:59,560 --> 01:38:04,080
Speaker 1: would by doing those things, I'm abstaining from thinking I'm

1654
01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:07,160
Speaker 1: better than everyone else. And you know what that makes

1655
01:38:07,200 --> 01:38:10,720
Speaker 1: me do? It makes me think I'm better than everyone else.

1656
01:38:11,720 --> 01:38:13,599
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it's a loop.

1657
01:38:14,760 --> 01:38:18,400
Speaker 1: It's a loop. My abstinence from thinking I'm better than

1658
01:38:18,400 --> 01:38:22,360
Speaker 1: everyone else subconsciously makes me think I'm better than everyone else,

1659
01:38:23,479 --> 01:38:34,040
Speaker 1: which is really awesome when you think about it. That's great. Anyway,

1660
01:38:34,320 --> 01:38:40,400
Speaker 1: what's your name again, Mars? Mars? Is there anything else

1661
01:38:40,400 --> 01:38:41,599
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the computer

1662
01:38:41,680 --> 01:38:42,200
Speaker 1: before we go?

1663
01:38:44,880 --> 01:38:48,559
Speaker 6: I hope you all are having a great day and

1664
01:38:49,720 --> 01:38:51,559
Speaker 6: gagnation beautiful.

1665
01:38:51,960 --> 01:38:54,000
Speaker 1: Thank you, Mars, Thank you.

1666
01:38:54,200 --> 01:38:55,120
Speaker 2: Bye.

1667
01:38:58,600 --> 01:39:02,240
Speaker 1: Well, there we go. We did it. We did a podcast.

1668
01:39:02,439 --> 01:39:07,719
Speaker 1: What a great episode. I want to thank Vivance for

1669
01:39:08,800 --> 01:39:16,519
Speaker 1: helping me make this episode. I want to thank the

1670
01:39:18,360 --> 01:39:23,800
Speaker 1: I want to thank the I want to thank Diarrhea

1671
01:39:25,080 --> 01:39:29,000
Speaker 1: for not having me have it right now. I want

1672
01:39:29,040 --> 01:39:31,680
Speaker 1: to think what am I gonna eat after this?

1673
01:39:31,680 --> 01:39:31,800
Speaker 2: Oh?

1674
01:39:31,840 --> 01:39:33,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna eat some sushi. I have a little

1675
01:39:33,400 --> 01:39:37,320
Speaker 1: bit of sushi in my fridge. Okay, thank you all

1676
01:39:37,360 --> 01:39:41,280
Speaker 1: for listening to this podcast. This was a good This

1677
01:39:41,320 --> 01:39:43,839
Speaker 1: was a good episode. I was talking at the beginning

1678
01:39:43,920 --> 01:39:49,760
Speaker 1: about how sometimes I sit down to record and I

1679
01:39:49,840 --> 01:39:56,160
Speaker 1: just can't do it. And when that happens, I usually go, oh,

1680
01:39:56,200 --> 01:39:58,600
Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore. I can't do this podcast,

1681
01:39:58,800 --> 01:40:01,240
Speaker 1: Like this is my in my brain telling me I

1682
01:40:01,320 --> 01:40:05,519
Speaker 1: cannot do this anymore. And then the next day I'm like,

1683
01:40:05,560 --> 01:40:07,160
Speaker 1: all right, let me try again. But I'll do it

1684
01:40:07,200 --> 01:40:11,760
Speaker 1: in the morning, right after having some coffee or some shit,

1685
01:40:12,680 --> 01:40:15,280
Speaker 1: and then I'm in the zone and I'm like, all right,

1686
01:40:15,760 --> 01:40:18,920
Speaker 1: I think we can do this shit. So I don't know,

1687
01:40:19,240 --> 01:40:23,679
Speaker 1: but and then tomorrow I'll probably be like everything sucks forever.

1688
01:40:24,560 --> 01:40:28,360
Speaker 1: I think that's life. Life is like. When things are

1689
01:40:28,400 --> 01:40:31,160
Speaker 1: working well or your brain is in a positive mode,

1690
01:40:31,160 --> 01:40:33,600
Speaker 1: you're like, Oh, everything's gonna be great forever now. And

1691
01:40:33,600 --> 01:40:35,439
Speaker 1: then when they're in a negative mode, you're like, all right,

1692
01:40:35,479 --> 01:40:37,280
Speaker 1: this is it. This is how my brain will function

1693
01:40:37,520 --> 01:40:42,479
Speaker 1: and how my life will be for eternity. But really,

1694
01:40:42,520 --> 01:40:45,360
Speaker 1: you're just going in and out of all that shit.

1695
01:40:45,520 --> 01:40:46,960
Speaker 1: I don't know for me, personally, it's how my life

1696
01:40:47,000 --> 01:40:49,439
Speaker 1: has gone so far. I'd like to have a nicer

1697
01:40:50,080 --> 01:40:56,400
Speaker 1: baseline anyway. Okay, thanks for listening to this podcast, thanks

1698
01:40:56,400 --> 01:41:03,599
Speaker 1: for listening to the ads, thanks for calling, thanks for

1699
01:41:04,840 --> 01:41:09,880
Speaker 1: being here. And we'll do another one. Well, this one

1700
01:41:09,880 --> 01:41:12,960
Speaker 1: comes out on a Wednesday. We'll do another one on Sunday.

1701
01:41:13,120 --> 01:41:14,599
Speaker 1: I might do an IRL on Sunday.

1702
01:41:14,680 --> 01:41:15,040
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1703
01:41:15,120 --> 01:41:21,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, it depends on how I'm feeling, all right, gek Bluss, Hello, folks,

1704
01:41:21,760 --> 01:41:25,080
Speaker 1: it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But

1705
01:41:25,240 --> 01:41:30,280
Speaker 1: get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right,

1706
01:41:30,439 --> 01:41:34,720
Speaker 1: an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can

1707
01:41:34,760 --> 01:41:39,040
Speaker 1: listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko

1708
01:41:39,080 --> 01:41:43,880
Speaker 1: over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers

1709
01:41:43,920 --> 01:41:47,400
Speaker 1: get access to bonus episodes, they get a completely ad

1710
01:41:47,400 --> 01:41:51,000
Speaker 1: free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings

1711
01:41:51,000 --> 01:41:54,360
Speaker 1: from my live shows, members only streams, and they help

1712
01:41:54,439 --> 01:41:58,200
Speaker 1: support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's

1713
01:41:58,200 --> 01:42:02,080
Speaker 1: a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.

1714
01:42:03,360 --> 01:42:07,439
Speaker 5: I kind of just wanted to, uh get your take

1715
01:42:07,600 --> 01:42:12,439
Speaker 5: on what I do, which is very similar, I think

1716
01:42:12,840 --> 01:42:17,320
Speaker 5: to what you do, which is put a fully rat

1717
01:42:17,360 --> 01:42:20,680
Speaker 5: costume on a little animal costume, put myself out on

1718
01:42:20,720 --> 01:42:26,160
Speaker 5: the internet, uh, and kind of use that persona to

1719
01:42:27,200 --> 01:42:30,479
Speaker 5: explore my mental health journey.

1720
01:42:31,040 --> 01:42:33,720
Speaker 1: Interesting. Okay, so let's I want to I want to

1721
01:42:33,760 --> 01:42:37,040
Speaker 1: get a full scope of this. Here, you dress up

1722
01:42:37,040 --> 01:42:39,040
Speaker 1: as a rat on the internet.

1723
01:42:39,640 --> 01:42:40,080
Speaker 5: Mm hmm.

1724
01:42:40,439 --> 01:42:42,519
Speaker 1: If you want to hear this full conversation, you can

1725
01:42:42,560 --> 01:42:45,639
Speaker 1: sign up to become a premium member at Therapy Gecko

1726
01:42:45,800 --> 01:42:49,640
Speaker 1: dot supercast dot com or find the link in the

1727
01:42:49,680 --> 01:42:55,439
Speaker 1: episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,

1728
01:42:55,840 --> 01:43:00,800
Speaker 1: I have nothing else to say. Go on taking your

1729
01:43:00,840 --> 01:43:04,400
Speaker 1: phone calls every night. Never be get Goost on his ride.

1730
01:43:04,520 --> 01:43:07,479
Speaker 6: He's teaching you to housing live your life, but he's

1731
01:43:07,560 --> 01:43:09,920
Speaker 6: not really an expert.