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Speaker 1: Jubils second date update. You ever have one of those
Speaker 1: bad dates where just nothing seems to go right? Me? Neither,
Speaker 1: But Marshall, who's on the phone for a second day update,
Speaker 1: definitely has. His date seemed like just one really horrible
Speaker 1: thing spiraling out of control into a ton of horrible things,
Speaker 1: and now he needs to do a second day update.
Speaker 1: What's up, Marshall? How are you? Hey, guys? How are
Speaker 1: you guys doing this morning? Count? So? I mean, from
Speaker 1: Jebel's description, it sounds like you know exactly why she's
Speaker 1: not calling you back. I do. I do. It's kind
Speaker 1: of a laundry list of problem. It sounds like you
Speaker 1: don't really know exactly why, but you know there's a
Speaker 1: lot of options. At least I know that it could
Speaker 1: be one of several things, and I'm hoping you guys
Speaker 1: can help me along and maybe we can go through
Speaker 1: them and get to it. I mean, that's why I
Speaker 1: emailed all right before we go through your list of
Speaker 1: things that went wrong. Why don't you tell us about
Speaker 1: the girl we're gonna call today. What's her name? Her
Speaker 1: name is Melissa, Melissa all right, and where do you
Speaker 1: mean Melissa? Well, we met on a dating app and
Speaker 1: she just stuck out literally like a firework. Beautiful red hair,
Speaker 1: these bubbly eyes that just link you in. I mean,
Speaker 1: like kind of like a Zoe Deschanel. Like when you
Speaker 1: look at her, she just has this I don't know,
Speaker 1: cuteness that just reels you in like a fishing lure. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you were excited about this estate, then oh my
Speaker 1: over the moon, just through the moon excited. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just I couldn't even believe it was one of
Speaker 1: those I thought I was going to show up and
Speaker 1: it wasn't going to be the picture I was looking at.
Speaker 1: You know, you feel like it's too good to be true.
Speaker 1: And then you did show up and it was actually
Speaker 1: Zoe Deschanel, and you're like, you're just as wacky and
Speaker 1: lovable in real life. Oh my god, look at you
Speaker 1: so adorable. Yeah, it was like I was on an
Speaker 1: episode of New Girl, But she honestly was just I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've ever seen those girls, it's like
Speaker 1: just the red hair that's not too red. It's it's
Speaker 1: kind of got the you know, the layers of like
Speaker 1: auburn flowing through. Yeah, it's like nice red hair. It's
Speaker 1: not like you might steal my soul red hand. Yes, exactly,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, exactly what I'm talking. Yes, were you nervous?
Speaker 1: Like was that part of your problem? Beyond and nervous?
Speaker 1: That's why, Like it was one of those things I
Speaker 1: felt like I was a little out of my league.
Speaker 1: So I was just nervous beyond belief. Okay, so let's
Speaker 1: start with the list of things that went wrong. What's
Speaker 1: the first thing? So we sit down, everything starts, you know,
Speaker 1: just your typical back and forth chit chat, and I
Speaker 1: don't know how it came up, but I start talking
Speaker 1: about my X. Oh my god, I know, and it's
Speaker 1: like you can see the train rec happening in front
Speaker 1: of you and you can't stop it. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: this vacation and how me and my ex got in
Speaker 1: this big fight, and it's just going and going, and
Speaker 1: then I finally do stop. Long story short, and thank
Speaker 1: god I didn't go into how we had makeup sex
Speaker 1: and my ex. That would have been really terrible. I
Speaker 1: feel like that was even too much for our conversation
Speaker 1: right now. I didn't go that far. I didn't go
Speaker 1: that far. I went ahead and put the brakes on
Speaker 1: before I got that far and tried to get to
Speaker 1: date back on track. Okay. So, and as you realize
Speaker 1: something was happening, well, it's good if that's I mean,
Speaker 1: if it would be good if that was the only
Speaker 1: thing you did. But it sounds like there was more.
Speaker 1: There's definitely some more. So we get an appetizer that
Speaker 1: comes out and all of a sudden, my stomach just
Speaker 1: starts gurgling, making you know. I mean, it was over
Speaker 1: the top, and I don't know if it was a
Speaker 1: mixture of the nerves and the food. I also had
Speaker 1: a beer, but my stomach is just in knots. So
Speaker 1: right after the X story, shortly after, I have to
Speaker 1: excuse myself to use the restaurant, okay. And it wasn't
Speaker 1: just like I'm gonna go pee real quick. It was
Speaker 1: like I'll be back in like half an hour with
Speaker 1: the new set of clothes. It was not a quick
Speaker 1: break in the restaurant. I'm in there, and it was
Speaker 1: one of I don't want to get into details, but
Speaker 1: I am feeling the minutes pass, if you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I got to get back out there. But
Speaker 1: how do you get back out there when you're having
Speaker 1: these issues? I am gone for a substantial amount of time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just text for the toilet. Yeah yeah, And I imagine
Speaker 1: you like breaking out in sweats and turning pale on
Speaker 1: top of it. All that was happening all along, and
Speaker 1: I feel like the sweats and the paleness was building
Speaker 1: as we went. But I did get back out there.
Speaker 1: So I sit back down, and I might have been
Speaker 1: at the table for one or two minutes and I
Speaker 1: get hit with it again, and I so, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I have to step away for a minute.
Speaker 1: And this time, of course, I don't want to see
Speaker 1: him going to the bathroom again, So I you know,
Speaker 1: I made up a lot. I was like, hey, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I gotta step away. If we gotta
Speaker 1: have this work call I've got to make. That's probably
Speaker 1: even worse than going. I'm feeling sick and I should
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom again. So I'm gone for another
Speaker 1: substantial amount of time. I come back, I'm apologizing. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. About the phone call, and yeah, it
Speaker 1: doesn't end there unfortunately, So okay, I sit down. I
Speaker 1: start feeling sick again. And at this point it's getting
Speaker 1: you know, it's one of those sicknesses that was just
Speaker 1: like creeping deeper and deeper. I just grab a lot
Speaker 1: of money. I throw it on the table and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm so sorry, I'm not feeling well. I've
Speaker 1: got to get out of here, almost like she's a stripper.
Speaker 1: I throw it on the table and just leave. I
Speaker 1: didn't even there was no hug goodbye, obviously because then
Speaker 1: poured and swept, there was no anything. I just left,
Speaker 1: kind of almost embarrassment slash. I don't feel good. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take a wild guess that she hasn't talked to
Speaker 1: you since then. We talked every night. Sent No, she
Speaker 1: has not called me, and that sucks because, like the
Speaker 1: X thing is your fault that you brought that up,
Speaker 1: but the rest of it is out of your control.
Speaker 1: But I think where he went wrong is lying or
Speaker 1: just at least not telling her what's really happening. It
Speaker 1: made you look even worse like things and now I
Speaker 1: look at it, I yes I did lie, but it
Speaker 1: was almost you know, it's embarrassing to kind of totally
Speaker 1: let the girl on the first date and say, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm gonna be on the camp for forty minutes.
Speaker 1: You could just hang on that. I'll wash my hands
Speaker 1: and be back. You know. I've text her, you know,
Speaker 1: try to kind of apologize and call. But I didn't
Speaker 1: want to be too much. But like I said, I
Speaker 1: mean this girl was, you know, just one of a
Speaker 1: kind if you will, and it's definitely my fault, but
Speaker 1: that's why I'm here. Well, we'll see if maybe we
Speaker 1: can salvage the situation and get you a second date.
Speaker 1: We'll play a song and then come back and get
Speaker 1: your second day update. All right, thank you so much, guy. Okay,
Speaker 1: hang on looking jubil in the morning for today's second
Speaker 1: day update. I can't decide who suffered the most. Marshall,
Speaker 1: who's on the phone for a second date update today
Speaker 1: because he had a terrible first date with a girl
Speaker 1: named Melissa, Or there's also that poor restaurant toilet man.
Speaker 1: That thing suffered so much during Marshall's dates. If you
Speaker 1: missed the first part of today's second day update, Marshall
Speaker 1: is on the phone. He wants to call a girl
Speaker 1: named Melissa. They met online, went out for dinner, and
Speaker 1: he says the whole thing was pretty bad. He started
Speaker 1: off because he was nervous talking about his ex girlfriend
Speaker 1: a lot, which we know is something that you shouldn't do.
Speaker 1: And then he started having stomach issues and he went
Speaker 1: to the bathroom once and was gone for a long time,
Speaker 1: then came back, said he was feeling sweaty, and then oh,
Speaker 1: I had to go back again, and then he said
Speaker 1: by the third time he came back, he just threw
Speaker 1: a bunch of money on the table and said he
Speaker 1: had to go because he knew it was not going
Speaker 1: to get better from there. So we already know why
Speaker 1: he's not getting a callback from Melissa. Now our job
Speaker 1: is to call her and see if we can get
Speaker 1: him a second date. Marshall, are you ready? I am ready?
Speaker 1: I would say, are you ready to go? But I
Speaker 1: know you've gone a lot. Would you classify this as
Speaker 1: the worst date you've ever been on? Easily the worst
Speaker 1: date I've ever been on. I just I really hope
Speaker 1: for a redo for you. I know I know I
Speaker 1: am too, because it'd be in the world. So sorry
Speaker 1: you having problems again. We're about to call her, but
Speaker 1: I'd love to get that off my record if you will, Okayan.
Speaker 1: Oh of course. Sorry, God, here we go. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: dollar phone number right now. Hello, I might speak to
Speaker 1: Melissa please. This is she. Hey Melissa, how are you?
Speaker 1: This is Jebil from the radio show Brook and Jewel
Speaker 1: in the Morning. Um, this is Melissa, Yes, Melissa from
Speaker 1: what radio show are you from? That's not what you know?
Speaker 1: What radio show? What are you talking about? Well, my
Speaker 1: name is Jebil and I host the show Brook and
Speaker 1: Jewel in the Morning. It's a radio show. Does that
Speaker 1: make a little bit of sense? Now? Okay, I understand
Speaker 1: it's a radio show, but I'm not understanding why you're
Speaker 1: calling me. Okay, cool, I'll tell you. Well. We do
Speaker 1: a segment on our show called the second Date Update.
Speaker 1: That's where if you go out on a date with
Speaker 1: somebody and then end up not calling them back after,
Speaker 1: they can email us to get you on the phone
Speaker 1: and find out what happened. And we got an email
Speaker 1: the other day from a dude named Marshall. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay and okay, and Marshall told us all about your date.
Speaker 1: He also said a lot of very nice things about you,
Speaker 1: and he says he kind of knows why you wouldn't
Speaker 1: be calling him back because it was pretty awkward, but
Speaker 1: he wanted us to see if we could figure it
Speaker 1: out more. Okay, So Marshall emailed you and wants to
Speaker 1: know about the date that we went on. Well, he
Speaker 1: actually inquired to you about our date. Well, he just wanted,
Speaker 1: I mean more than anything. I think he kind of
Speaker 1: wants to redo. He said it was awful. Well, that's interesting.
Speaker 1: There is definitely not going to be any redos with Marshall,
Speaker 1: that's for sure. I mean, he talked to us, He
Speaker 1: told us about your date. He said how he was
Speaker 1: nervous and talked a bunch about his ex and then
Speaker 1: had some stomach issues. Can I explain to you in
Speaker 1: my side exactly what happened on this date? Yeah, yeah, okay, Okay.
Speaker 1: So I met Marshall on a dating app day, and
Speaker 1: I'm very, very very apprehensive about dating in general today because,
Speaker 1: as you know, when you're in the dating world right now,
Speaker 1: you meet a lot of weird, weird people and a
Speaker 1: lot of duds. Okay more times than not. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I go out with Marshall and he almost right
Speaker 1: away starts talking about his ex girlfriend. Yeah, he told
Speaker 1: us that. I mean, he knows that he was so nervous,
Speaker 1: so because he said, you were so pretty and you
Speaker 1: seem so lovely, and you know, haven't you ever had
Speaker 1: one of those out of body experiences where you just
Speaker 1: keep talking and you know you should stop, but you
Speaker 1: just can't stop. No, okay, well, so you're not gonna
Speaker 1: have a lot of sympathy. No, you're not understanding. Okay,
Speaker 1: So he actually showed me a picture of his ex
Speaker 1: girlfriend okay on our date, and then Marshall asked me
Speaker 1: if him and I could take a picture together so
Speaker 1: that he can post it online to make this ex
Speaker 1: girlfriend jealous. Marshall didn't tell us that. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: literally the most awkward situation I've ever been And I mean,
Speaker 1: what do you say? What did you say? I just
Speaker 1: basically was like we could take the picture after dinner.
Speaker 1: And that's when I took the situation into my own hands. Actually,
Speaker 1: you took it into your own hands. Yeah, how do
Speaker 1: you do? He said that he had stomach issues and
Speaker 1: then threw money on the table and left. I don't yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: would you? So when I go on dates now, I
Speaker 1: bring laxatives like yeah, yeah, yeah, So wait and you
Speaker 1: think this is cute. I mean, I've been on so
Speaker 1: many of these dates. I've been on so many of
Speaker 1: these days. You know this is this is so good.
Speaker 1: So you slipped them some laxatives. So what happens is
Speaker 1: after Marshall talked about his girlfriend, I just knew right
Speaker 1: there that I didn't want to do anything. So what
Speaker 1: I do is I carry chocolate laxatives in my purse
Speaker 1: when I go out on these states. Really so I yes,
Speaker 1: so I offer Marshall a chocolate laxative. And of course
Speaker 1: I'm guessing you didn't tell him like that. You didn't
Speaker 1: say you want a chocolate lax No. Basically, what I
Speaker 1: did was I told Marshall that it was like a
Speaker 1: palate cleanser that he would eat before them. So when
Speaker 1: he got up to go to the bathroom and he
Speaker 1: was sweating profusely and you could say visibly that he
Speaker 1: was going to be sick, you knew exactly why. Oh,
Speaker 1: I knew exactly why I was saying to get the
Speaker 1: date over with this worked. Why why wouldn't you just
Speaker 1: say this isn't working out, I've got to go This
Speaker 1: guy was so weird he wanted to take a picture
Speaker 1: with me. I knew that this was a really strange
Speaker 1: situation that I was in and I needed to get
Speaker 1: out of it. Okay, oh oh, we have the answer
Speaker 1: to what happened to Marshall because he wasn't even really sure.
Speaker 1: And you know what, Melissa Marshall is actually on the
Speaker 1: other line, I wants to talk to you. What, yeah, Melissa,
Speaker 1: what you gave me? Laxative? Mental? You don't go on
Speaker 1: dates with people and ask to take pictures with their ex. No, Melissa,
Speaker 1: you don't get a critique him in anymore. You have
Speaker 1: no room to stay out. I mean, I told you
Speaker 1: one story about my ex, and I asked for a
Speaker 1: quick selfie and you think that's enough to say? I
Speaker 1: mean to the toilet for two hours. I mean I
Speaker 1: bought new pants and a shirt. Are ruined them both, Marshall,
Speaker 1: I didn't know what else to do at that point.
Speaker 1: But yourself, in my situation, what would have you done? Sure? What?
Speaker 1: I mean, somebody a chocolate laxative? I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1: You can't give people pills without telling them that you're
Speaker 1: giving them pills. You just can't do that. Girl. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's a big deal, Like I needed to
Speaker 1: get out of the date. I've done this before many times,
Speaker 1: many times, and I don't think that's a big deal.
Speaker 1: How can you not think that's a big deal. You're
Speaker 1: asking him to put himself in your shoes, like switch
Speaker 1: the foot, Like what if you're on a date with
Speaker 1: a dude and he gave you laxatives. A guy's not
Speaker 1: going to give me laxatives on a date. Guys don't
Speaker 1: get bored with me on dates. It's not the same
Speaker 1: situation you are, Psycho. I am a really good person, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what the big deal about it's chocolate laxatives.
Speaker 1: Quit acting like I gave him cyanide or something. He's
Speaker 1: not dead. I agree with you, Melissa. At least you
Speaker 1: didn't kill the guy. Dude, I feel like you're one
Speaker 1: step away from that, Like laxatives are your gateway drug
Speaker 1: to giving dates rat poison, not to mention that was
Speaker 1: my favorite restaurant. I only give him two star review
Speaker 1: because of that. I'm gonna have to go in and
Speaker 1: change that. Michel, if you wouldn't have had a radio
Speaker 1: station call me right now, you would have had no
Speaker 1: idea this even happened. If I wouldn't have called the
Speaker 1: radio station, I would still be calling you and texting
Speaker 1: you trying to get you to respond to me if
Speaker 1: I didn't have a mediator. Yeah, so now we can
Speaker 1: just ask right now, Melissa, would you like to about
Speaker 1: with Marshall again? You will pay for it second date.
Speaker 1: Let me think about it. I'm gonna say no, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you don't get to turn him down. You are crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think though, I think my bowels are okay on
Speaker 1: a second date for this one? Are you sure? Yeah? No,
Speaker 1: I am no way, I mean, obviously this is new information.
Speaker 1: I don't even want the second date now, I mean
Speaker 1: I do. Thank you, guys. Hats off to the radio
Speaker 1: station for bringing this psycho to like, poor baby, he
Speaker 1: had to use the toilet. Why aren't even complaining because
Speaker 1: it was for nine straight hours. It's not just a
Speaker 1: little quick in and out there. And Melissa, Melissa, somebody
Speaker 1: who has had a lot of digestive issues in their time.
Speaker 1: Can I just get the name of the chocolate laxative,
Speaker 1: the brand? No problem, I'll actually just send it to you.
Speaker 1: Oh great, perfect, or at least somebody made out on
Speaker 1: the second day update, that's good in the morning, texted
Speaker 1: in seven eighty five to nine two says I'm so
Speaker 1: pissed right now. I'm a nurse and she could have
Speaker 1: really hurt someone. Yeah, it's no different than slipping somebody
Speaker 1: at roofy. Talking about today's second date update, well, I mean,
Speaker 1: if you think about it, it it is true. If you
Speaker 1: missed it, Marshall wanted to call this girl Melissa. They
Speaker 1: went out on a date. He wasn't doing very well
Speaker 1: on his date. He started talking about his ex girlfriend
Speaker 1: the whole time, and then he started having digestive issues
Speaker 1: and had to run to the bathroom a bunch. We
Speaker 1: got her on the phone and found out that her
Speaker 1: move when she's on a date and doesn't like the
Speaker 1: dude is to offer them a chocolate, a laxative chocolate,
Speaker 1: so that they have to go to the bathroom and
Speaker 1: the date has to be over right without them knowing.
Speaker 1: She doesn't go like, hey, here's a laxative, so she
Speaker 1: secretly gave him a laxative, and then his stomach started
Speaker 1: to hurt and he had to go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: a bunch, and he ended up just throwing money on
Speaker 1: the table and leaving and everybody's saying that that's actually
Speaker 1: a crime. Absolutely, people, absolutely, And the craziest part to
Speaker 1: me is how proud she like she thought it was
Speaker 1: really cute. Yeah, she thought it was a cute move.
Speaker 1: And she's done it before. She's like, I've done this
Speaker 1: to a bunch of guys. Yeah, I'm giving them laxatives.
Speaker 1: Way to hear what I did. You guys are gonna
Speaker 1: think this is so funny. Yeah, there's no difference between
Speaker 1: her slipping somebody a laxative and some douchey bro who's like, dude,
Speaker 1: I've done that to so many chicks. Well, I just
Speaker 1: leave your drink on a ten and then drop a
Speaker 1: little bit, and to so many chicks. I guess there's
Speaker 1: no difference. Well, there's no difference between her and Bill Cosby.
Speaker 1: She didn't actually assault him afterwards, is the positive piece
Speaker 1: of that, because they don't think that after you get
Speaker 1: a laxative, you I don't think you want no, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So there is a difference there, But
Speaker 1: the drugging part is all all illegal. It's also like
Speaker 1: who and how she decides when they deserve the laxative.
Speaker 1: But she's guys, I feel like nothing. As soon as
Speaker 1: she meets a guy out, she's just like, all right,
Speaker 1: you're getting a laxative. Yet they didn't even have dinner yet.
Speaker 1: I know they literally talked for ten minutes. Can I
Speaker 1: get a picture for mine to make my ex jealous? No,
Speaker 1: that's dumb, but that doesn't deserve getting a lax I
Speaker 1: still stand by it. Though. Her laxatives sound great, they
Speaker 1: sound like they worked. Really. Yeah, I want to go
Speaker 1: out with her just so you're more regular. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I've I've taken some laxative before and they don't even
Speaker 1: work that well on me. Really. Yeah, I'm so jammed
Speaker 1: up sometimes, you know that. I really like I have
Speaker 1: to load up on the laxatives and still nothing. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't know what I regret more. The conversation that's
Speaker 1: come after it just adds to blow. All right, it's
Speaker 1: really frustrating. I don't need to know anymore yet the
Speaker 1: info for that laxative so I can get back on track.
Speaker 1: You know, that's why you've had anger issues all the time. No,
Speaker 1: that's from other things. Okay, I think that the consultation
Speaker 1: might stem from those others. Okay, Well, it's all related.
Speaker 1: It all comes from somewhere. You just got to find
Speaker 1: the source. Remember, if you want to do a second
Speaker 1: day up, they'll have to do is email the show
Speaker 1: and we will call the person who drugged you, or
Speaker 1: didn't drug you, or just didn't call you back, whatever
Speaker 1: it is, just email the show.