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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVIFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: We could be reading.

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Speaker 1: Your letter live on the air, just like we're going

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Speaker 1: to read this one right here, right now, and you

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Speaker 1: never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject his daughter gets better gifts than

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Speaker 1: I do. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a wife and a

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Speaker 1: bonus mom to two teenagers, and my husband has a

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Speaker 1: good co parenting relationship with his ex wife. His fourteen

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Speaker 1: year old son lives with us. His seventeen year old

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Speaker 1: daughter is living with her mother. She turned seventeen on

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Speaker 1: July thirtieth, and that is what prompted me to write

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Speaker 1: in for your opinion. My husband told me that we

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Speaker 1: were buying his daughter a car for her birthday, but

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Speaker 1: he did not tell me it was going to be

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Speaker 1: a car that's better than both of our cars. It's

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Speaker 1: a sporty coop with too much horsepower for a teenager.

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Speaker 1: He defended his decision to buy it because she did

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Speaker 1: not get a car for her sixteenth birthday like her

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Speaker 1: friends did. He took me to the dealership to pick

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Speaker 1: up the car, and I thought I was getting pranked

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Speaker 1: and the car was for me. He made me drive

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Speaker 1: his old car back home because he didn't want any

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Speaker 1: damage on his princess car. I cried all the way

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Speaker 1: to the house. I'm jealous and hurt that he values

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Speaker 1: his daughter more than he values me. It's always been

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Speaker 1: like this. He gives her a teddy bear and some

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Speaker 1: kind of jewelry for Valentine's Day every year, and all

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Speaker 1: I get is a card and dinner, no card or

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Speaker 1: anything for Christmas. She gets everything on her list. We

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Speaker 1: can't afford her lifestyle, and I am tired of paying

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Speaker 1: credit card bills. Her mom called me to discuss the car.

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Speaker 1: She thinks it is inappropriate too, and she told me

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Speaker 1: that my husband might be trying to buy their daughter's

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Speaker 1: love because she knew about his infidelity. She said that

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Speaker 1: their daughter knows that I was the side chick for years.

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Speaker 1: I never looked at it that way. Is this punishment

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Speaker 1: for me because I helped to end his marriage or

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Speaker 1: is this a typical daddy daughter bond that's unbreakable. Please advise. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say this. I was feeling some kind

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Speaker 1: of way about all of this, you know, kind of

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Speaker 1: on your side at first, until I got to the

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Speaker 1: bottom of this letter and you said you were the

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Speaker 1: side chick that helped end his marriage. What do you expect?

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is an entirely different situation. Now, this

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Speaker 1: is more than just a daddy doting over his daughter

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Speaker 1: and spoiling his daughter. His ex wife, the woman he

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Speaker 1: left for you told you that the daughter knew for

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Speaker 1: years he was cheating with you. What she didn't say

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Speaker 1: is how her daughter knew, And I think that's key

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Speaker 1: in this letter. Does she catch him? Was she traumatized

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Speaker 1: by it all? We don't know. You didn't tell us

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Speaker 1: that part. But I think this is about him trying

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Speaker 1: to make up for his cheating by, like his ex

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Speaker 1: wife said, trying to buy his daughter's love. This is

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Speaker 1: what guilt looks like. And I think you know that

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Speaker 1: he's trying to make his daughter not think he's a

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Speaker 1: bad dad because he cheated and left the family for you.

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Speaker 1: That in and of itself is unusual because that hardly

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Speaker 1: ever happens to side chicks where the husband marries them

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Speaker 1: the woman that he was cheating on his wife with.

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Speaker 1: You don't say how long you guys have been married,

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Speaker 1: but she's only seventeen the daughter, and I really don't

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Speaker 1: see the extravagant gifts stopping anytime soon again because of

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Speaker 1: the guilt he feels he may have married you, but

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Speaker 1: clearly his daughter is number one. I mean, you even

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Speaker 1: said that, and this will continue to be a problem

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Speaker 1: for you. But I say, don't suffer in silence. You

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Speaker 1: wrote us. Now you got to bring it up to

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Speaker 1: him so you guys can deal with it. But I

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Speaker 1: would just tell you this lower your expectations.

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Speaker 3: Steve. Great answer, Shirley, Absolutely great answer. I agree with

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Speaker 3: everything you said one hundred percent. I'm just looking at

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Speaker 3: this letter. I don't I don't this one got some

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Speaker 3: twisting turns in it that just uh man, I don't

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Speaker 3: know what you want lady, you know you kind of

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Speaker 3: I'm just reading this letter, you know.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, Shirley, I was with you, you.

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Speaker 3: Know you you were you were you you the wife,

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Speaker 3: your ex hu I mean, your husband has a great

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Speaker 3: co parenting relationship with the ex got the fourteen year

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Speaker 3: old boy to live with y'all and and uh and

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Speaker 3: the seventeen year old girl to.

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Speaker 2: Live with the mother. Okay, cool, all right?

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Speaker 3: And your husband told you that he was buying his

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Speaker 3: daughter car for her birthday, and what he didn't tell

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Speaker 3: you that the car that they was gonna buy was

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Speaker 3: better than the car that both of y'all got. That

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Speaker 3: ain't finna happen. I'm just gonna tell you that right there.

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Speaker 3: That's about as crazy as you come. Right here. Now.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how my child I just done that.

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Speaker 3: That's ignorant on so many levels. I'm not fitna buy

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Speaker 3: my child a car that's better than the one I got.

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Speaker 2: I damn show.

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Speaker 3: Ain't finna walk in here and get my child a

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Speaker 3: car better than the one on my wife drive. Okay,

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Speaker 3: he done lost his ever loving ass mind for that,

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Speaker 3: and they went.

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Speaker 2: To pick it up.

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Speaker 3: It's a sporty coop, too much horsepower for a teenager.

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Speaker 3: And he defended the decision by telling you because he

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Speaker 3: didn't get her a car for her sixteenth Oh, okay.

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Speaker 2: I got news for you.

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Speaker 3: I should have been wrote this letter on my mom

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Speaker 3: and daddy a long time ago, because they didn't ever.

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Speaker 2: Get me no damn car. So I'm just fished off.

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Speaker 3: At this letter right here, Damn the sixteenth, I didn't

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Speaker 3: get nothing for the twenty fifth, twenty eight, thirty thirty fifth.

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Speaker 3: I'm just so mad at they ass now so anyway,

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Speaker 3: and he took you to the dealership to pick up

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Speaker 3: the car, and you thought you was getting prank that

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Speaker 3: you thought the car was for you. He made me

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Speaker 3: drive his old car back home because he didn't want

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Speaker 3: any damage to his prince's car. I cried all the

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Speaker 3: way to the house. I'm with you on all this here,

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Speaker 3: and I still stand on what I said. My child

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Speaker 3: cannot get a better, more expensive car than me. Don't

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Speaker 3: how his work. Now you say, I'm jealous and hurt

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Speaker 3: that he values his daughter more than he values you.

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Speaker 3: And when we come back, I'm gonna tell you what

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Speaker 3: the real problem is and how I might handle it.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the

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Speaker 1: hour of the subject is his daughter gets better gifts

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Speaker 1: than I do. We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject his daughter gets

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Speaker 1: better gifts than I do.

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Speaker 3: She's got a co parenting relationship with her husband, his

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Speaker 3: ex wife's and their child lived with them. Fourteen year

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Speaker 3: old boy, seventeen year old girl lives with the mother.

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Speaker 3: That great co parenting problem is he buys this girl everything.

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Speaker 3: And he bought a new car for her seventeenth birthday

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Speaker 3: without telling her and took her down to the dealership.

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Speaker 3: And what tripped her out was a sporty high house

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Speaker 3: horsepower car. And she thought the car was for her

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Speaker 3: and it wasn't. And it's a car that's better than

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Speaker 3: both the car that the mother drives and her husband drives.

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Speaker 3: So he done brought his daughter car that's better than

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Speaker 3: both of them. Then he made the ex wife drive

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Speaker 3: his old car home while he drove a new one

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Speaker 3: to the house because he ain't want nothing happened to it.

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Speaker 3: This lady cries all the way home. She feels like

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Speaker 3: he values the daughter's relationship more than he values their

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Speaker 3: relationship and justified it by saying he's by this expensive

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Speaker 3: car because she didn't get a car for her sixteenth

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Speaker 3: birthday like her friends did. That really stung me personally

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Speaker 3: because my mama and nem didn't get me no car

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Speaker 3: from sixteen or thirty fifth birthday. And I'm really boom

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Speaker 3: started to be boring more pissed off by this as

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Speaker 3: I read this letter. I'm mad as hell and my

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Speaker 3: mama thought about this here now because I didn't even

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Speaker 3: know I was supposed to get no damn car sixteenth.

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Speaker 3: Tell you clearly, I remember exactly what I had on

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Speaker 3: my sixteenth birthday. Yeah, I had bought myself a brand

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Speaker 3: new English Racer eighty seven dollars from May Company. Had

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Speaker 3: that in layaway because I had to work and get

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Speaker 3: there anyway. Long story short, So now you get home

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Speaker 3: crazy and he feels she feels like he values a

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Speaker 3: daughter's relationship more than hers, and it's always been like this.

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Speaker 3: He gives her a Teddy Bear some kind of jewelry

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Speaker 3: on Valentine's Day every year, and all I get is

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Speaker 3: a card in dinner. I don't get no car or

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Speaker 3: anything for Christmas. She gets everything on her list. We

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Speaker 3: can't afford her lifestyle, and I'm tired of paying credit

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Speaker 3: card bills. Now here's the key to this whole letter.

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Speaker 3: Her mother, the girl's mother, his ex wife called this

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Speaker 3: lady to discuss the car. Now the mother agrees and

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Speaker 3: thinks it's inappropriate too to buy such a car.

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Speaker 2: Now, all the.

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Speaker 3: Adults is against the car except him. So now the

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Speaker 3: daughter probably got it, got it. The daughter got a

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Speaker 3: better card than the lady that wrote the letter, but

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Speaker 3: it got a better card than her husband. And now

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Speaker 3: I got a better card in the ex wife. Ah,

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Speaker 3: everybody in the letter pissed off. Yes, So now she

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Speaker 3: told me that her husband might be trying to buy

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Speaker 3: her daughter's love because she knew about his infidelity. Shirley said,

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Speaker 3: how would she know that? Well, cause the told her that.

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Speaker 3: You better believe her daddy didn't tell her. The father

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Speaker 3: didn't go in there and tell it. The mother told

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Speaker 3: her about the infidelity. And it's odd that she would

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Speaker 3: call you under the let's car. I must say disguised,

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Speaker 3: because I know there's a word for it that you're

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Speaker 3: supposed to use. But she gonna hide her real intent

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Speaker 3: for calling you by saying I think the car is

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Speaker 3: inappropriate too.

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Speaker 2: But she really wanted to stain your ass.

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Speaker 3: With the information and the reason she buying him this

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Speaker 3: car because your husband might be trying to buy our

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Speaker 3: daughter's love because she knew about y'all's infidelity. She said,

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Speaker 3: her daughter knows that I was a side chick for years.

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Speaker 3: Then she said this surprising statement, I never looked at

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Speaker 3: it that way. You know, lady, what you ain't finna

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Speaker 3: do is be hurt. And then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 3: get real stupid in your letter. Now you analyzing everything else.

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Speaker 3: Now all us sudden stupid just took over. I never

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Speaker 3: looked at my daughter knows that daughter knows I was

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Speaker 3: the side chick for years.

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Speaker 2: I never looked at it side piece thoughts.

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Speaker 1: I love it?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 4: Are you crazy? I didn't know Popeye's had red bees

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Speaker 4: or rice?

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Speaker 1: She tried to trick us.

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Speaker 4: You mean to tell me camc sir Slow, is this

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Speaker 4: punishment for me because I helped to end his marriage?

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Speaker 3: Or is this a typical daddy daughter bond that's unbreakable?

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Speaker 3: Please advise. Let me tell you something. I have a

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Speaker 3: hard time telling my daughter's No. My daughters can call

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Speaker 3: me for anything, and I pretty much would do it.

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Speaker 3: Tommy know the same thing. But now let me explain something.

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Speaker 3: Though you're not Finnah, get no damn car that cost

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Speaker 3: mode in my car. I that you got my way

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Speaker 3: right now. Matter of fact, you better not pull up

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Speaker 3: in something look just like mine because I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: figure out what hell going on now, So let's just

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Speaker 3: start there.

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Speaker 2: Have all my daughter's gotten cars from me? Yes? Absolutely?

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Speaker 2: Was any of them cars better than the one I'm driving? Hell?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: Now, have I had to explain some of my past

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Speaker 3: transgressions to my kids?

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Speaker 2: I could have, but I haven't.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I ain't gonna tell you damn thing. Me and

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Speaker 3: your mommy ain't together, cause well, me and your momy

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Speaker 3: ad to get We ain't work out. That's not what happened.

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Speaker 3: We ain't work out the whole that had been about

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Speaker 3: me ever since they brought this girl this car. Sixteen,

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Speaker 3: My mama daddy didn't buy me.

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Speaker 2: No damn car.

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Speaker 3: I ain't get a car when out sixteen, twenty, twenty five,

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Speaker 3: thirty thirty five, I ain't get up.

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Speaker 2: I ain't get a new car out of thirty eight.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for he never

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Speaker 1: sounded so good. You can download it today. Coming up

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Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour, Junior is here

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Speaker 1: with Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Dave

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show