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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode. My parents abandoned me. Now they

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Speaker 1: demand my inheritance.

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Speaker 2: I demand you go back in time and don't abandon me.

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Speaker 1: So I was born when my mother and father were

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Speaker 1: only seventeen. It forced both my parents to drop out

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Speaker 1: of high school and each get a ged so they

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Speaker 1: could find work right away. My father especially was not

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Speaker 1: happy about this because he had dreams of playing football

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Speaker 1: in college. Instead, he had to work at a gas station.

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Speaker 1: He said to my face many times that I ruined

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Speaker 1: his dream. By the way, this goes from I'm just

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Speaker 1: a neighbor on the r slash okay, sorry times, I'll

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Speaker 1: read it. So my mother hardly raised me at all,

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Speaker 1: and she had to work too. They had a cranky

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Speaker 1: old lady next door watched me most of the time.

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Speaker 1: She wasn't so bad. She gave me more attention than

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Speaker 1: my parents did. My father eventually managed to land a

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Speaker 1: better job as a manager due to his experience running

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Speaker 1: the gas station. It was right after that that my

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Speaker 1: mom got pregnant with my sister. Are they ready for that?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, maybe they've had a little bit

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Speaker 2: of practice, right.

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Speaker 1: It was right after my mom got pregnant with my sister.

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Speaker 1: I was six when she was born. I wasn't exactly

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Speaker 1: shown much love before that, but once my sister came along,

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Speaker 1: it was made pretty obvious, even my six year old

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Speaker 1: self that I was unwanted. The only ones who seemed

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Speaker 1: to care were my paternal grandparents and somewhat my babysitter,

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Speaker 1: and they were more like my parents because they treated

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Speaker 1: me the way a little kid needed to be treated

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Speaker 1: and loved. We lived in a two bedroom apartment, and

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Speaker 1: as my sister got older, it went from me sharing

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Speaker 1: a bedroom with her to me kicked out of the

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Speaker 1: room entirely. I slept on the couch for two years,

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Speaker 1: and I barely had anything to my name than clothes,

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Speaker 1: school supplies, and an old game boy. When I was ten,

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Speaker 1: my parents decided they were going to move away, but

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Speaker 1: this move did not include me. I ended up actually

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Speaker 1: being fine with this, and my grandparents had agreed to

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Speaker 1: take me in and my life was instantly better. I

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Speaker 1: got my own room again, and my grandparents gifted me

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Speaker 1: a brand new N sixty four in nineteen ninety six.

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Speaker 1: That Christmas, I got a game Boy, a pocket game

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Speaker 1: Foot two, and there were a couple of kids my

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Speaker 1: age in the neighborhood. I got to hang out with.

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Speaker 1: We rode bikes, played video games, shot cans with pellet shooters,

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Speaker 1: built forts, and got dirty playing in the creek. You know,

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Speaker 1: stuff a normal kid would enjoy, you know, creeks. I

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Speaker 1: was finally happy. This time went on. I grew up

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Speaker 1: and eventually moved out, but later moved back in to

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Speaker 1: help my grandparents as they were getting old and living

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Speaker 1: off their retirement savings, so some rent money from me

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Speaker 1: went a long way in paying bills. My grandpa was

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Speaker 1: a kind of person who wanted to build a bomb

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Speaker 1: shelter during the Cold War, but never got around it.

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Speaker 1: He wanted to volunteer for the military in the sixties,

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Speaker 1: but was turned down due to a medical condition and

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Speaker 1: the fact that his eyesight was not great, so he

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Speaker 1: focused on saving whatever he thought he needed. He told

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Speaker 1: me many a time it was better to have something

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Speaker 1: and not need it than they needed to not have

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Speaker 1: it or our area suffered from numerous power outages and

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Speaker 1: winter due to heavy winds and storms, so having gasoline

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Speaker 1: and propane for heaters and generators was a must. All

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Speaker 1: these saving habits became my own as time went on.

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Speaker 1: So y'all are all preparing for the big one because

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Speaker 1: it was better to need this stuff rarely than not

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Speaker 1: have it at all. Of course, there was the hoa

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Speaker 1: bothering us, but that's his own other story. The problem

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Speaker 1: is about five years back, my grandma passed away suddenly,

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Speaker 1: and my grandpa was heartbroken. He also went about a

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Speaker 1: year and a half later. Pretty Much everything they owned

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Speaker 1: was willed to me. So Opie's not only rolling in

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Speaker 1: a creek, but rolling in cold, hard cash. I mean, dude,

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Speaker 1: if you have for a survival bunker, you got cash.

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Speaker 2: This guy has five hundred pounds of gold buried around

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Speaker 2: the country. And then there's a secret will in the

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Speaker 2: black light ink that it's like a trail that leads

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Speaker 2: to a map under the bedroom floorboards that leads you

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Speaker 2: to the gold.

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Speaker 1: Pretty Much everything they owned was willed to me. Their savings,

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Speaker 1: their house, their vehicles, their stuff. Everything. The house was

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Speaker 1: long paid off, and Grandpa knew how to keep up

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Speaker 1: with his maintenance. In fact, after Grandpa passed away kind

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Speaker 1: of doubled down on renovating the place. He had the

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Speaker 1: roof redone. The house was repainted by us inside and

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Speaker 1: begin out, and we fixed a lot of little things.

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Speaker 1: Grandpa's neighbor, Gorge, even came by to help redo the plumbing.

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Speaker 1: But ironically, the HOA was rather happy with these changes

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Speaker 1: because the house didn't look run down anymore. One morning,

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Speaker 1: I was fixing breakfasts and my grandpa never came downstairs.

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Speaker 1: You couldn't keep that man was bacon, probably with maybe

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Speaker 1: one of the reasons he didn't come downstairs. How was he,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I know bacon ain't good, too

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Speaker 1: good for your heart. So I went to check on

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Speaker 1: him and he wasn't moving. I called nine one one

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Speaker 1: in the paramedics game, only to tell me he'd passed

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Speaker 1: in his sleep. My parents made Grandpa's funeral a crap show.

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Speaker 1: They didn't bother to show up for Grandma's they were

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Speaker 1: too busy, and at Grandpa's funeral they didn't seem to

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Speaker 1: grieve at all. My sister also showed up wearing a

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Speaker 1: brightly colored designer dress, which I wasn't happy about as

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Speaker 1: it was a church clothes only function, and I noticed

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Speaker 1: my parents repeatedly whispering to each other and glaring at

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Speaker 1: me whenever I looked at them. Come to find out

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Speaker 1: at the will reading that my parents knew that they

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Speaker 1: had been disinherited long ago for their treatment of me.

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Speaker 1: So Opie's now finding out that they had been disinherited

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Speaker 1: like ages ago. And they thought it was extremely unfair

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Speaker 1: that I got everything. They threatened to assume me to

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Speaker 1: contest the well that chance chump. I want them to

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Speaker 1: be far below the creek so they never have access

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Speaker 1: to the joy of a creek. I want them every

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Speaker 1: creek that they have in recent memory and long forgotten

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Speaker 1: memory to be removed. I wanted to be men in

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Speaker 1: black little camera thing that removes the memory.

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Speaker 2: I want to throw them in my creak and ride

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Speaker 2: him like a boogey board, you know, just strike for fun.

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Speaker 1: They threatened to assue me, and I repeated calls and

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Speaker 1: messages from my father, mother, and sister telling me I

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Speaker 1: needed to do the right thing and give my father

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Speaker 1: what was supposed to be his. I told them all

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Speaker 1: the flake off in far more unsavory words. My parents

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Speaker 1: end up taking me to court to challenge the will,

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Speaker 1: but the judge ruled in my favor after seeing the

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Speaker 1: will and hearing us both out, so I wasn't a

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Speaker 1: long drawn out legal battle. The judge even looked at

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Speaker 1: my parents with absolute disgust after seeing the will and

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Speaker 1: hearing about their mistreatment of me and my childhood. He

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Speaker 1: called my father a terrible parent, that my grandparents were

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Speaker 1: right just to disown him. My father just hung his

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Speaker 1: head in silence, but he made sure to stop me

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Speaker 1: outside the courtroom and tell me I was always the

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Speaker 1: biggest mistake of his life.

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Speaker 2: Hey, well, I guess what. You still don't get anything

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Speaker 2: from the will? Stupid. I would hope at this point

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Speaker 2: that op is just like doesn't It's like, you're not

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Speaker 2: even my dad, and my dad was my grandpa. You

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Speaker 2: were just some trash that happened to raise.

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Speaker 1: And that if he could go back in time, he'd

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Speaker 1: make sure it never existed. He should have been a

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Speaker 1: football star, get out of here. Did imagine being that

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Speaker 1: much stuck in high school like man is living in

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Speaker 1: the past. Also, first of all, if you were really

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Speaker 1: that good in high school, maybe you would have gone

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Speaker 1: to like I don't know, D three D two college.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's why this guy's so pathetic.

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Speaker 1: He thinks he was so much better.

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Speaker 2: He's taken what could have possibly been one of the

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Speaker 2: best things to ever happen in his life and for

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Speaker 2: just the fantasy, so that he can hold on to

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Speaker 2: the toxic fantasy that eating away at him like a

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Speaker 2: career rrosive acid.

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Speaker 1: He's absolutely delusional.

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Speaker 2: And instead you could have had a beautiful son. You're

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Speaker 2: just a pathetic loser.

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Speaker 1: He should have been a football star and said he

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Speaker 1: has to wear a name tag for a nine to five.

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Speaker 1: I told him that mistake or not, Grandpa and Grandma

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Speaker 1: could see what kind of nasty person he was. I

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Speaker 1: didn't ask to be born, and the only real love

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Speaker 1: I ever got was from my grandparents, and he was

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Speaker 1: no father of mine anymore. Snapso pee. I got a

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Speaker 1: few more threatening and harassing phone calls as well as

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Speaker 1: some letters for my parents, all demanding money, among other things. Yeah, freakin' right,

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Speaker 1: get out of here. But over time they stopped because

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Speaker 1: I completely stonewalled them, never responded to the emails or

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Speaker 1: the letters, and I stayed silent during the phone calls

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Speaker 1: a few times, I just left the phone sitting on

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Speaker 1: the counter with him ranting till they realized I wasn't listening.

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Speaker 2: I just had a great idea on how to make

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Speaker 2: him upset. You make a compilation, you send it to

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Speaker 2: your dad, right, and your dad, and it says his name,

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Speaker 2: college football highlights, and then it just cuts to thanks

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Speaker 2: for watching, because there's nothing there. It's just a black screen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Aside from not getting the house or money, my

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Speaker 1: parents seem particularly irked. They could not even get a

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Speaker 1: rise out of me. But I was prepared to go

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Speaker 1: to war against them and they do it, so in

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Speaker 1: the end, they just left me alone. From what I

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Speaker 1: know about looking at Facebook. The past decade, my sister

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Speaker 1: tried to get into modeling, got married, had two kids,

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Speaker 1: got divorced, and is currently unhappily working a job he

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Speaker 1: feels as beneath her. My mother currently works retail and

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Speaker 1: is also vocal about her disdain of it. Like my father,

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Speaker 1: she peaked in high school. She was a cheerleader back

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Speaker 1: then and even had an old uniform framed on the wall.

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Speaker 1: My father has pretty much had the same job for

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Speaker 1: twenty five years. He must have been good if he's

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Speaker 1: still doing it. By the way, if you're a good

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Speaker 1: little girl and boy, you should be listening to Okay

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Speaker 1: story Time the podcast wherever you get your podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

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Speaker 1: just search Okay Storytime and I'll pop right up.

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Speaker 2: It's right. You have forty seven days worth of Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime to listen to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, twenty four hours, forty seven days. As for me, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm in my late thirties now and I live pretty

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Speaker 1: much debt free in a nice neighborhood. I haven't really

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Speaker 1: had a girlfriend since high school, and I've had little

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Speaker 1: motivation to ever have another relationship. But loneliness gets to everyone,

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Speaker 1: so maybe I'll try finding someone soon. Not many are

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Speaker 1: in the financial position I'm in at my age, single,

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Speaker 1: paid off house, two vehicles, and a decent amount in

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Speaker 1: the bank. I guess I could aim to be a stepfather.

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Speaker 1: That might be more at my speed. And that is

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Speaker 1: where that ends. What's freaking go opee? Don't give a

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Speaker 1: manity that money.

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Speaker 2: If I was the judge hearing that, I'd be like, actually,

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Speaker 2: you're just gonna go to jail now.

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Speaker 1: The judge spanked them like you don't deserve to be parents. Well,

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Speaker 1: bo bo bo bop.

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Speaker 3: I refuse to lend my camper to my sister, even

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Speaker 3: though they desperately need it. You know what would fix

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Speaker 3: problems not going camping. My sister and her husband fell

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Speaker 3: on hard times because of the pandemic. They went from

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Speaker 3: renting a nice house having to rent a room from

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Speaker 3: a friend. It was supposed to be temporary, but they've

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Speaker 3: been in his house for an entire year and he

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Speaker 3: didn't have more than one room to spare to rent them.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Uncle Victor Throway on

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Speaker 3: the ar Slashoky storytime suffered it. I have a family

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Speaker 3: of my own and my house is full, so I

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Speaker 3: don't want them living with me. But I have a

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Speaker 3: vintage camper trailer in my backyard, one of those small

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Speaker 3: ones they call a canned hand type. It's had various

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Speaker 3: repairs over the years, including redoing the flooring and ceiling,

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00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,439
Speaker 3: as well as getting a new axle, and it's in

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Speaker 3: pretty decent condition for being over fifty years old.

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Speaker 2: Wow. I take this.

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Speaker 3: Camper on yearly trips with friends and on camping trips

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Speaker 3: with my family, and I'm very anal about its upkeep.

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Speaker 3: My sister, though, has asked to borrow the camper numerous

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Speaker 3: times to put it in her friend's backyard so her

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Speaker 3: teenage son could have some privacy and use it as

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Speaker 3: a personal bedroom. But I know my nephew. He's destructive

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Speaker 3: with everything and would turn my camper into a total mess.

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Speaker 3: I imagine that he is so destructive that they want

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Speaker 3: to put him outside. They're buying him a doghouse. He's

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Speaker 3: not potty trained, and I'm certain they wouldn't want to

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Speaker 3: give it back whenever I need it because he'd already

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Speaker 3: be living in it. I know they can't simply go

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Speaker 3: out and get a camper off their own because ones

249
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Speaker 3: and usable conditions are not cheap, and right now they're

250
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,480
Speaker 3: trying to save every extra time to get back on

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Speaker 3: their own feet. Recently, my sister has gotten our parents

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Speaker 3: involved and they think I should lend them the camper,

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Speaker 3: but I've refused. They won't let up and seem to

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Speaker 3: think that if they keep hounding me as a collective

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Speaker 3: that I'll give in.

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Speaker 1: But I haven't no way ho they.

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Speaker 3: Don't give in to them. But my wife is on

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Speaker 3: my side and has refused to let my sister and

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Speaker 3: brother in law in when I wasn't home. They have

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Speaker 3: a vehicle that can tow the camper. Oh, they could

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Speaker 3: steal it, so I don't trust them not to take

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Speaker 3: it if they can get in my backyard. My house

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00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,640
Speaker 3: also has cameras, and my sister and brother in law

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00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,240
Speaker 3: are aware of them. Now they say I'm the a

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Speaker 3: hole because I only use the camper a few times

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00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,839
Speaker 3: a year and they need it now. But I worry

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Speaker 3: that they wouldn't want to give it back, much less

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Speaker 3: return it in the same condition.

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Speaker 1: They are going to squat in your camper and turn

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Speaker 1: it into a tornado ravaged town.

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Speaker 3: There's not even going to be pieces left of your camper.

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Speaker 1: There's going to be nothing left except maybe some like

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Speaker 1: little red sparkle shoes.

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Speaker 3: I firmly believe I'm in the right, but with my

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Speaker 3: parents and a sister constantly breathing down my neck, I

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00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,520
Speaker 3: thought I'd come here for an unbiased opinion. Am I

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Speaker 3: the a hole for not lending them the camper and info?

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Speaker 3: I did suggest they get my.

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Speaker 1: Nephew a tent put them outside.

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Speaker 3: But they shot the idea down and called the tent temporary.

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00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,480
Speaker 3: If anything, that just felt like another red flag to me.

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Speaker 3: And more info our parents don't live close anymore. They

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Speaker 3: moved several states away to retire a few years ago.

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Speaker 3: There is an update. What is wrong with this child?

285
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Speaker 3: Why didn't you need to make him live outside? Why

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Speaker 3: he is a tent even an option?

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Speaker 1: Because he's a Tasmanian devil kid. He literally has not

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00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,199
Speaker 1: been trained. He's a fair old child that's foaming at

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00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,840
Speaker 1: the mouth. That's like squatting over the sink to take

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00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,400
Speaker 1: his thumps like this is not someone you want in

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Speaker 1: the civilized area.

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Speaker 3: I showed my sister and brother in law this post

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Speaker 3: after getting the verdict. My parents have seen it as well.

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Speaker 3: They're all very unhappy with me, but my parents have

295
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,440
Speaker 3: backed off and say they won't bother me with it again.

296
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,640
Speaker 3: I also spoke with my sister alone and went through

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Speaker 3: the rough estimates of what possible repairs to the camper

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Speaker 3: would be should my nephew damage it. My sister was

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Speaker 3: not happy to see those numbers. Then I called her

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Speaker 3: out on how they'd likely not want to return the

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Speaker 3: camper when I need it. But they also tried to

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Speaker 3: come to my house when I wasn't home to take

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Speaker 3: it without permission, and I told her I'd have no

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Speaker 3: problem calling the police if they ever try that. My

305
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,400
Speaker 3: sister still tried to say her son needs the camper,

306
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,760
Speaker 3: but I went through the comments on this post with her.

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Speaker 3: He became incredibly embarrassed and then got very angry. She left,

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Speaker 3: saying she won't bother me for the camper anymore, but

309
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,760
Speaker 3: still stated she thinks I'm a jerk. I didn't reply

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Speaker 3: because I knew she was waiting to gaslight me. Just

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00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,560
Speaker 3: waved her goodbye and she left. My brother in law

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00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,720
Speaker 3: called me shortly after to yell at me, but he

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00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,520
Speaker 3: had no leg to stand on other than they wanted.

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Speaker 3: I told him I'd contribute one hundred dollars per tent,

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Speaker 3: but they're on their own for the rest. They actually

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Speaker 3: agreed to the hundred dollars. So I guess my nephew

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Speaker 3: is getting a tent to live. He's living in a dent.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry. If mom and dad bought you that you

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Speaker 3: can't live inside anymore and you have to live in

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Speaker 3: a tent, you're telling me that you wouldn't come on

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Speaker 3: this podcast ten years later and said that made me

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Speaker 3: live in a tent. You'd be shocked. I'd like to

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Speaker 3: thank everyone here for all their great advice. You gave

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Speaker 3: me what I needed to end this problem, and there

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00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,960
Speaker 3: is enough to Hi everyone. A few days ago I

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Speaker 3: saw an animation of my old post, so I've come

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Speaker 3: here instead. I just want to say that things seemed

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00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,200
Speaker 3: to get better after I made my sister and brother

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00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,680
Speaker 3: in law give up on borrowing my camper. If they'd

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Speaker 3: gotten their hands on it, I likely wouldn't have gotten

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Speaker 3: back anytime soon short of getting the police or a

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00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 3: lawyer involved. They even try to show up at my

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00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,480
Speaker 3: house to take the camper while I wasn't home.

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Speaker 1: They don't own the camper yet They're claiming that they

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Speaker 1: need the camper for the sun that they're putting in

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Speaker 1: a tent.

337
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, presumably the sun has a room in the house.

338
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,680
Speaker 3: But I showed my last post to my sister, brother

339
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,400
Speaker 3: in law, and parents and they were furious at me,

340
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 3: but let go of the fact that my camper was

341
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,440
Speaker 3: not up for grabs out of sheer humiliation and embarrassment,

342
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,400
Speaker 3: especially after I brought up the amount of money that

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00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 3: could end up being owed to me in repairs should

344
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 3: they or my nephew damage the camper. That part made

345
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,160
Speaker 3: my sister extra sore at me. I thought we closed

346
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Speaker 3: the books on this whole mess, But it seems closing

347
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,560
Speaker 3: one book only opened another one. Things went downhill very

348
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,160
Speaker 3: badly a bit over a month after my original post,

349
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 3: so badly I couldn't believe it was really happening, and

350
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,560
Speaker 3: yet it did. Many here may not believe it either,

351
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,639
Speaker 3: but it did happen. Some wondered if my sister and

352
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 3: brother in law were going to actually use the hundred

353
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:12,680
Speaker 3: dollars I gave them to get my nephew a tent

354
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,359
Speaker 3: to have his own space in the backyard. I admit

355
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,160
Speaker 3: I had my doubts, but they followed through on getting

356
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Speaker 3: him one. Our parents sent them some money as well,

357
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 3: and they got my nephew a good sized so that

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Speaker 3: he can have a cot to sleep on, and a

359
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:30,480
Speaker 3: small amount of simple furniture. I personally donated the cot,

360
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,240
Speaker 3: as I had an old coleman. I gave him a

361
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 3: folding camping chair too. The boy got electricity in the

362
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 3: tent to be an extension cord from the main house

363
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,440
Speaker 3: that tent is hooked up. However, he frequently complained about

364
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,320
Speaker 3: the heat during the day and only had a couple

365
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,439
Speaker 3: of those little Swedo air conditioners that you can just

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00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 3: put water in to keep his tent cool. Why is

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Speaker 3: he there all day? Though, honestly, I doubt the situation

368
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 3: would have been any different if he had my camper,

369
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,960
Speaker 3: because it can get pretty hot inside of it too.

370
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 3: Now on to that happened a bit over a month later,

371
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Speaker 3: My sister and brother in law were evicted from their

372
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,840
Speaker 3: friend's house. Apparently, while there was trouble with my nephew

373
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 3: needing his own space and being messy and defiant, they

374
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 3: were having more trouble with the friend, who was also

375
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,639
Speaker 3: their landlord. They tried to smooth things over by putting

376
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,280
Speaker 3: their son in the tent so he wouldn't be in

377
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 3: the house much to avoid trouble. I suppose that might

378
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,679
Speaker 3: have worked had my sister and brother in law not

379
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 3: been caught with illegal substances, and I mean the very

380
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 3: bad ones, the kind that uses their friends slash landlord

381
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,400
Speaker 3: went into the room while they were away and found

382
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,200
Speaker 3: their stash. That's why they were evicted. So it wasn't

383
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 3: even the Sun's fault. They're probably blaming all that stuff

384
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,120
Speaker 3: on the sun. Suddenly it made sense why in two

385
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 3: years they couldn't have afforded a small apartment to move in,

386
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,560
Speaker 3: despite both of them working full time, their extra cash

387
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,119
Speaker 3: just went right to their habits instead of saving it

388
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,000
Speaker 3: like they claimed to have been doing. Looking back, they

389
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,159
Speaker 3: did look a bit more unhealthy at the time, but

390
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,680
Speaker 3: I assumed it due distress. Now I feel really bad

391
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,720
Speaker 3: for this, Like, not only does he have to live

392
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,879
Speaker 3: in a tent, but you know parents are going through

393
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,320
Speaker 3: a law as well, and not long after being outed,

394
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,439
Speaker 3: their habits put them behind bars. People who are on

395
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 3: heavy substances can go very wild in an instant, and

396
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:19,440
Speaker 3: that's exactly what happened when their friends lush landlord gave

397
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,439
Speaker 3: them an eviction notice for having found the substances in

398
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,400
Speaker 3: his house. My sister and brother in law both got

399
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 3: physical with him and he called the police. That scared

400
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 3: them and they locked themselves in the rented room. Meanwhile,

401
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,920
Speaker 3: my nephew was blissfully unaware of what was happening, as

402
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 3: he was just damon alone in his tent. The friend

403
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 3: landlord press charges and police soon arrested my sister and

404
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,159
Speaker 3: brother in law because there were indoor security cameras that

405
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:49,119
Speaker 3: caught the whole Altar Cay. I was very surprised about

406
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 3: what happened when I heard about it. I got a

407
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 3: call from the police station and I was asked to

408
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 3: take in my nephew since he could no longer stay

409
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 3: where he was. This was all aploy to get the

410
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 3: nephew in the camper. Since our parents are states away

411
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 3: and living in a retirement community, they couldn't take him in,

412
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,560
Speaker 3: so it was up to me, and I did so.

413
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 3: I wasn't particularly fond of my nephew, but I realized

414
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 3: his upbringing really did not help our relationship, nor did

415
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,679
Speaker 3: the fact that my sister and I don't really get along.

416
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 3: We brought his tent over to my place and set

417
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 3: it up in my backyard. He's still living in it,

418
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 3: even though we cleared the attic out for him. Okay,

419
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 3: so you've offered him an actual place to live.

420
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 1: I mean it's an attic. Is that much better than

421
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 1: Harry Potter is a little under the cupboard?

422
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 3: But he says he likes the tent better because it

423
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 3: feels like his own little house where he can just

424
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:39,360
Speaker 3: be himself.

425
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 1: So how good is the attic if the tent is better.

426
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 3: We've even added a mini fridge I bought used in

427
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 3: there for him so we could have cold drinks when

428
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,679
Speaker 3: he wants them. Currently, we're still working on becoming my

429
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 3: nephew's permanent legal guardians. My sister and brother in law

430
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: are both facing heavy charges they attacked a man, resisted arrests,

431
00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:01,399
Speaker 3: and were in possession of illegal substances, though they've actually

432
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 3: been very cooperative, albeit while dealing with withdrawal from no

433
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 3: longer being able to self medicate. I've been able to

434
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 3: see my sister and she said she and her husband

435
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 3: were so out of it on the day it happened,

436
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 3: they don't even remember attacking their friend. I don't know

437
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 3: if they're faking memory loss to try and get a

438
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 3: lesser punishment, or if they really were that high, but

439
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,160
Speaker 3: I suppose it doesn't matter. It changes nothing since there

440
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 3: was CCTV showing the attack. They're looking into possibly getting

441
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,360
Speaker 3: a plea deal when they go to court in November,

442
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 3: but even with that, they may be in prison until

443
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 3: their son is over eighteen. At least, I didn't have

444
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 3: the heart to risk the foster system on my nephew.

445
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 3: My wife has had my back on this too, and

446
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 3: we've been working as a team. What I mean like,

447
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 3: the circumstances have changed so drastically from the beginning of

448
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 3: the story, and op's really really risen here. My sister

449
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 3: and brother in law have signed over the title to

450
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 3: their suv to me, and the plan is to make

451
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 3: it my nephew's vehicle when he gets older, since he'll

452
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 3: be eighteen in three years, can sell it to get

453
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 3: him something that uses a lot less fuel. I already

454
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 3: had to pay to get the suv back from police impound.

455
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 3: That's money I know I'm never going to get back.

456
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 3: When my sister and brother in law get out of

457
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 3: prison in a few years, They're not exactly going to

458
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 3: have much to their name, so taking care of their

459
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 3: son and making sure he grows up in a better

460
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 3: environment feels like the least I can do. I mean,

461
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 3: you are doing a huge thing for this kid. For

462
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 3: those wondering about the substances, it wasn't entirely out of

463
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 3: left field. My sister was especially troubled in her teenage

464
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 3: years and struggled in her early twenties with the same substances.

465
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 3: He nearly got kicked out of college for it. Our

466
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 3: parents always dug her out of the mire and helped

467
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 3: her back on her feet. They even paid for her rehab.

468
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 3: We all thought she'd been cleaned for a long time,

469
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 3: but she admitted to me when I visited her in

470
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 3: jail that her husband also had the same addiction issues.

471
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 3: That's actually how they met, not in rehab, but in

472
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 3: a focus group after the rehab. They did not admit

473
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 3: this to any of us until recently. Why but with

474
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 3: the stress they faced in the past two years, falling

475
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 3: back into old habits became easy for them. I've tried

476
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,159
Speaker 3: checking up on their former landlord to ask if he

477
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,159
Speaker 3: was okay, for he wants nothing to do with my family.

478
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 3: He had some pretty offensive things to say when I

479
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 3: went over to gather my sister and brother in law stuff.

480
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 3: Once the police gave me the okay, and the man

481
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 3: actually threatened to pull a weapon on me while I

482
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 3: was carrying out boxes. He said he thinks my family

483
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 3: are all alike, a bunch of filthy, white trash sea words.

484
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 1: Oh that's not too good.

485
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 3: So I don't feel as sorry for him as I did,

486
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 3: since he's a pretty big jern. My nephew also confirmed this.

487
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 3: My kids weren't exactly receptive to their cousin being around them.

488
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 3: There's a bit of an age gap between them, and

489
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 3: they just don't relate to one another. And while my

490
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 3: nephew's messy, we make him clean his tent once a week,

491
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 3: and we make him shower at least two to three

492
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 3: times a week.

493
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 1: I just think it's so weird that he's cleaning his tent.

494
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 3: We live in a warmer climate, but now that the

495
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,879
Speaker 3: seasons are changing, it's cooling down a little bit to

496
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 3: where he says the tent isn't so bad. He's got

497
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 3: a tablet, a laptop, a DVD player, and a Nintendo

498
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 3: Switch to occupy his time.

499
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 2: Everything a growing boy needs right there.

500
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 3: But we keep these things in the house whenever my

501
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 3: nephew is at home. It's way easier to steal out

502
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 3: of a tent than a house. After all, considering how

503
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:22,360
Speaker 3: angry my nephew was before, he rarely shows his temper. Now, yes,

504
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,880
Speaker 3: he makes it hard to get him to do his chores,

505
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 3: but as a whole, he's shown more improvement in a

506
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 3: couple months than I saw in three years. Of course,

507
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,679
Speaker 3: I mean he's not around parents who are actively like

508
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 3: using substances.

509
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: I'm surprised he's turned out as good as he has.

510
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 3: He is extremely grateful, but also very solitary. We give

511
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,479
Speaker 3: him a space most of the time, and I make

512
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 3: sure my kids don't bother him either. He's going through

513
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 3: a lot right now. My nephew plays a lot of

514
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 3: Zelda and Fortnite. At least those are two of the

515
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 3: games he plays that I know of. My kids love

516
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 3: those games too. We've also given my nephew the old

517
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 3: ten speed road bike I used to use years ago.

518
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 3: He rides at to and from school, as we live

519
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,360
Speaker 3: about a mile away from the low high school. Thus far,

520
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 3: most of the drama from him has been school related.

521
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 3: He had to change to a different high school and

522
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 3: make new friends, which he wasn't particularly happy about. He

523
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,479
Speaker 3: really doesn't like doing his homework and he's been fighting

524
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: with his teachers, but that's a problem many parents face

525
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 3: on the regular. He says. He's made a few new friends, though,

526
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 3: and I'm thankful for that. We're taking things one step

527
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,679
Speaker 3: at a time, and so far it's slowly been getting better.

528
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 3: My nephew has also talked of one day getting a

529
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 3: part time job. For the record, he brought this up,

530
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 3: how is.

531
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: He such a good kid being raised by like addicts

532
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 1: that seem to not be taking care of him at all? Like, Yeah,

533
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 1: he lives in a tent. He is incredibly well adjusted

534
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: for being a tent child.

535
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 3: For the record, he brought this up, not me or

536
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 3: my wife. He says he needs to be ready to

537
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 3: be independent when he's eighteen. But we wouldn't kick him

538
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 3: out just for getting older. He's one of our kids

539
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 3: now too. After all, what a wild turn. You know what,

540
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 3: if this story doesn't end with this kid getting the camper,

541
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 3: I don't want it.

542
00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 1: You just need to win. I don't know if he

543
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: even he wants the camper. I think he likes his tent.

544
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 3: How funny would it be if oh, he's like, hey,

545
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 3: you know what, like I thought you're growing up, thought

546
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 3: the camper would be great, And the son's like, thank

547
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 3: you so much, And he gets in the camper and

548
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,400
Speaker 3: he dries off, and the parents like they like jump

549
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 3: out of the bushes and they're like pranked, and they

550
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 3: steal the camper, and it's all been like a ploy.

551
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: I just want to give the kid a bigger tent.

552
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: I think that's what he means.

553
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 3: I think he needs a room maybe, But if he's

554
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 3: willing to work hard and move on to working full

555
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: time or going to college, we'll encourage him. I just

556
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 3: don't want him ending up like either of his parents.

557
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 3: He seems to be far better off mentally without their influence.

558
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 3: Now anyway, it makes me regret not wanting to take

559
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 3: him in sooner. But I didn't know how bad things

560
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 3: really were to think this all started because my sister

561
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 3: and brother in law wanted my camper for their son.

562
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 3: And those of you who said they potentially wanted it

563
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,919
Speaker 3: to skip down if they'd gotten a hold of it,

564
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 3: you may very well have been right. They were on

565
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 3: thin ice with their landlord and falling even deeper into

566
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 3: substance use. Thus far, though, my has been completely indifferent

567
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 3: to the camper, even though his tent is practically right

568
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 3: next to. He says, as long as he has his

569
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 3: own space, he's fine. Reminds me of what I was

570
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 3: his age. I enjoyed hanging out and spending nights in

571
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 3: the old shed my parents made into a playhouse for

572
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 3: me and my sister when we were kids.

573
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 1: You know what, Yeah, is a tent that much different

574
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: than a treehouse?

575
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 3: Yes, because he's living full time in this.

576
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 1: Every kid's eighties dream is to live full time in

577
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 1: a treehouse.

578
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 2: You know, I'm sorry?

579
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 3: Did he read the box car kids, and he was like,

580
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 3: that's what I want.

581
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: Maybe it sounds like he's a very outdoorsy young.

582
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 3: Lad, but we are still required to have a room

583
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 3: at the ready for my nephew whenever a social worker

584
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 3: checks up on us.

585
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: So it's like, you're worried about a social worker seeing

586
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: this kid's tent and taking him away from you.

587
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 3: Imagine the freaking social worker comes and sees his kid

588
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 3: in a tent and they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

589
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 3: He loves his tent. He's swear he loves his tent.

590
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 3: He has the bulk of his stuff in the attic room,

591
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 3: but chooses to stay in the tent, which the social

592
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,360
Speaker 3: worker didn't seem to mind since it was my nephew's

593
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:04,400
Speaker 3: preferred place to hang out so long as an actual

594
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 3: room was available to him. We also have a seven

595
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 3: foot tall privacy fence all around the backyard and cameras too.

596
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 3: That helps my nephew feel safe back there at least,

597
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 3: so for now, I think we have it all covered.

598
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 2: By the way.

599
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 3: You can have us covered by listening to full episodes

600
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 3: with stories just like this. Just go to Okay story

601
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 3: Time on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or your favorite podcast app

602
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 3: and there is a little bit left to this story,

603
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 3: so we're just gonna run it.

604
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 1: I say, we roll straight on into it.

605
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,919
Speaker 3: I probably won't update again, as it's pretty much a

606
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 3: guarantee my sister and brother in law are going.

607
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 1: To be locked up for a few years.

608
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 3: Our parents are especially mad at them about it, and

609
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 3: have thanked me to no end for taking my nephew in.

610
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 3: They want to fly over to visit this Christmas so

611
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 3: we can all spend time as a big family for

612
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 3: the first time since before the pandemic. And before I go,

613
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 3: I know some are probably going to ask where's brother

614
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 3: in law's family and all of this goodn't they out?

615
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 3: Why didn't my sister and brother in law ask them

616
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 3: for help? Well, the answer is they couldn't. I don't

617
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 3: know a lot. But brother in law spent the latter

618
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 3: half of his own childhood in the foster system. His

619
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 3: family aren't in his life. I don't know who they

620
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 3: are or where they are. He hated them so much

621
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 3: that he actually took my family name when he married

622
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 3: my sister. So they aren't involved whatsoever with my nephew.

623
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 3: And that is the end of this story.

624
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 1: John. Here we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

625
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of aths from our sponsors.

626
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 3: I canceled the family cruise because my family doesn't appreciate me.

627
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 2: Oh, ain't no cruise. You're cruising for a bruising Now

628
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: there we go.

629
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 3: Ah, So my parents wanted to do a cruise for

630
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 3: the holidays. They invited me twenty five female, my boyfriend

631
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 3: twenty seven male, my brother twenty eight male, and his

632
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 3: girlfriend twenty six female. My brother, let's call him James

633
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 3: has always been the golden child. Some backstory. By the way,

634
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 3: this comes from Throwaway Vaka and if you want to

635
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 3: submit your stories, go to our slash Showkay story time

636
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 3: suppered it. So back in high school when James was

637
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 3: discovered to be selling pills, he was just going through

638
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 3: a phase. Meanwhile, when I got caught smoking weed, my

639
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 3: parents threatened to kick me out. James lost his scholarship

640
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 3: and dropped out of college three different times, but he's

641
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 3: still perfect. I graduated a semester late and I didn't

642
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 3: try hard enough. James still lives in the state where

643
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 3: he attended college, and I live in my home state

644
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 3: near my parents. He doesn't work, he's not currently in school.

645
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 3: My parents buy him flights all the time to come visit,

646
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 3: but don't buy me a flight to go see him

647
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 3: or go anywhere else. My parents send him money for

648
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 3: rent and life necessities. He bought a two thousand dollars

649
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 3: dog recently with that money. When I got my first

650
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 3: big job at age twenty two, my parents immediately kicked

651
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 3: me off their insurance since I had the option of benefits.

652
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 3: James was on their insurance until he turned twenty six,

653
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 3: which is when you know, that's what if you could

654
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 3: stay on the insurance might as well. Last year, I

655
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 3: got laid off and move back in with my parents

656
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: to save money. When I got my new job, my

657
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 3: parents told me I needed to pay ten thousand dollars

658
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 3: in back rent whoa whoa, which was never discussed previously.

659
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 3: I did finish paying it off and recently moved in

660
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 3: with my boyfriend. This has been a pattern my whole life.

661
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 3: James gets everything handed him and I have to work

662
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 3: my butt off. So now to the cruse. My parents

663
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 3: said they wanted to do this and bought tickets for themselves,

664
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 3: James and his girlfriend. They told me to get my

665
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 3: own tickets since I have a well paying job. I

666
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 3: was super upset and told them it was a fair

667
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 3: that I was the only one who had to buy

668
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 3: their own ticket. My boyfriend couldn't come due to holiday

669
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 3: plans with his own family. My parents said I was

670
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 3: acting spoiled and that green wasn't a good look on me.

671
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 3: I am so tired of hearing that phrase. At this point,

672
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 3: they said, it's not like I had to get a

673
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 3: nice room since we'd be outside at the majority of

674
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 3: the time anyway, which is true. But then why get

675
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 3: james an ice room. I decided I had enough and

676
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 3: I wasn't going. But here's where I maybe the a

677
00:31:58,600 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 3: hole I always love.

678
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 1: That is me.

679
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 3: I did something wrong. I let them continue thinking I

680
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 3: was for months. Then on the night before they left,

681
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 3: they said to get to their house by eight am

682
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 3: so we could start the drive to the port at

683
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 3: a thirty. That day, they start messaging me asking where

684
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 3: I am. Oh, I texted them, since you didn't want

685
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 3: to put the effort in to have me join you,

686
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 3: I will be attending my boyfriend's Thanksgiving instead. Have a

687
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 3: nice trip with your favorite child. Then I muted the chat.

688
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 3: My job dang man. I talked to some friends about this,

689
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 3: and some said it was petty of me to cancel

690
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 3: with no warning, and others said I should have sucked

691
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 3: it up and gone since I would have had fun

692
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 3: when I got there. They've been on the cruise for

693
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 3: a couple days now, and I'm starting to regret how

694
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 3: I handled things. Yeah, I probably would have fun, and

695
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 3: it's not like I couldn't afford the ticket. I also

696
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 3: could have handled the delivery better. But at the same time,

697
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 3: I'm so sick of them treating me like this. So

698
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 3: am I the a hole for canceling on our family vacation? No,

699
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 3: but there is an update, obviously. I'll start with the

700
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 3: ten K and background. To me, the number itself wasn't

701
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 3: the issue. I mean, yeah, it's definitely a bit higher

702
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 3: than I would have liked, but not completely unreasonable for

703
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 3: the amount of time I lived there. It's not like

704
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 3: I would have been able to rent my own place

705
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 3: at a cheaper price, and if I hadn't moved in

706
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 3: with them, I would have completely depleted my savings and

707
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 3: probably gone into debt.

708
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 2: Hmmm. I'm wondering now, did the parents need that money

709
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 2: for something, you know? Or whilfe Ooh, like I we

710
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 2: want that ten K so we can spend it on

711
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 2: your brother SPA, so we can take your brother to

712
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 2: the moon.

713
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 3: While I was laid off and looking for a new

714
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 3: job in my field, I had a serving job and

715
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 3: did some freelance writing work as well, so I was

716
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 3: contributing to groceries but not paying rent or utilities. Because

717
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 3: of that, I understood why my parents wanted help once

718
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 3: I was in a position to do so. I just

719
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 3: wish they had defined that expectation from the beginning instead

720
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 3: of springing on me as a surprise. I paid it

721
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 3: because I know it was an inconvenience for my parents

722
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 3: to have me stay so long, especially during some home renovations.

723
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 3: I know it would have turned into a whole big issue,

724
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 3: and it just felt easier to pay the money. Yes,

725
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 3: I probably have some pushover tendencies that I need to address. Luckily,

726
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 3: I'm in a well paying field. I'm a technical writer,

727
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 3: so once I got my new position, I was able

728
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 3: to pay my parents back in about six months while

729
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,760
Speaker 3: also saving up to move out. That's impressive. The timeline

730
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 3: for anyone curious is I was laid off in January

731
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 3: of last year. I used my savings to pay rent

732
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 3: until my lease was up in June, and then I

733
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 3: moved in with my parents. I lived with my parents

734
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:27,359
Speaker 3: from June of last year till September of this year,

735
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,279
Speaker 3: when I moved in with my boyfriend. I got my

736
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,280
Speaker 3: current job in May, which is when my parents told

737
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,800
Speaker 3: me that they wanted back rent and rent moving forward

738
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 3: until I moved out. They said it was to help

739
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 3: motivate me to get back on my feet, so not

740
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,360
Speaker 3: all of it was back rent technically, but I just

741
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 3: use that term to try and be more concise.

742
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 2: See now, I'd be okay with that if they were

743
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 2: just upfront, yeah, but then they try to do the oh,

744
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 2: this is actually just to motivate you.

745
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: It's like, no, it's not because you want the money.

746
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:52,799
Speaker 2: Right.

747
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 3: By the time I moved out, the total amount I

748
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 3: owed had added up to the ten K, and I

749
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 3: had already paid off most of it. I also saw

750
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 3: a couple of comments about pursuing legal action against my parents,

751
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 3: but I don't think that's worth it or even possible.

752
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 2: I agree with that.

753
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 3: I don't. Yeah, that's a lot. I mean, that's gonna

754
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 3: cost you more money.

755
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: And it's gonna make everything stickier, and it's gonna make

756
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,240
Speaker 2: everything messier.

757
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 3: Situation. Yeah, we never had a written contract, and I

758
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 3: didn't argue against paying it. I didn't want them to

759
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 3: be able to hold that over me. Going through any

760
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,919
Speaker 3: legal issue would just dredge the whole thing up again,

761
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 3: and I'd rather not do that. It's paid now, so

762
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 3: at least it's over with. In the future, I know

763
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 3: I should probably be less willing to give into their demands.

764
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 3: It's just difficult when things have been this way my

765
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 3: whole life, and my experiences have shown me that any

766
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 3: refusal paints me as ungrateful in their eyes. I try

767
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 3: so hard to be perfect because I just want them

768
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 3: to treat me with the same care and support as

769
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 3: they do with James. The worst part is James and

770
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 3: I were super close growing up. When we were kids,

771
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 3: we hung out all the time. He was the one

772
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 3: who taught me how to ride a bike. He stood

773
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 3: up for me when I was getting bullied. I don't

774
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,800
Speaker 3: think he's a bad person at all. He just never

775
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 3: learned to stand on his own two feet. Our relationship

776
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 3: is stray now because he doesn't get why I have

777
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 3: issues with our parents. I missed the brother I would

778
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 3: stay up playing RuneScape with. I'm pretty sure he fully

779
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,439
Speaker 3: buys into the idea that he needs extra help since

780
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 3: he's always gotten it, he doesn't know how to do

781
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 3: or expect anything else. At least, he's still nice to me,

782
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 3: but he just refuses to see the differences and how

783
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,399
Speaker 3: we're treated, and he basically wants me to just suck

784
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 3: it up and be part of the family.

785
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 2: Dang.

786
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 3: Sadly, all his support just disappeared once it came to

787
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,320
Speaker 3: issues with our parents. I hope James gets some distance

788
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,439
Speaker 3: from them one day and we can reconnect. I don't

789
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 3: want our relationship to keep suffering because of us. Sorry

790
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 3: to get sappy for a second, but back to the comments.

791
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 3: Another thing I saw some people ask is why I

792
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 3: didn't tell them sooner that I was canceling. I know

793
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 3: that was a petty move on my part, but had

794
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 3: I told them earlier, they would have spent those months

795
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,359
Speaker 3: trying to convince me to go and insulting me if

796
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 3: I continued to refuse. It seemed like such a hassle,

797
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,399
Speaker 3: and the way I did it was much easier. And yeah,

798
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,399
Speaker 3: maybe this is crappy of me, but I did get

799
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 3: some satisfaction out of it. It felt good to treat

800
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 3: them at the same level they treat me.

801
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,399
Speaker 2: It's fair. We're all human. Yeah, we're only human. We're

802
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 2: only human.

803
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 3: Besides, it's not like it actually affected their trip. They

804
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 3: still went just without.

805
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 2: Me, right exactly.

806
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,919
Speaker 3: Many of the comments brought up the idea of going

807
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 3: low contact or no contact with my family, and it

808
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 3: is something I've now been considering. My boyfriend is supportive

809
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 3: of this decision since he has seen firsthand how my

810
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 3: parents are. I'm sure my friends will be supportive as

811
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 3: well if I explained the full story. Most of them

812
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 3: have never met my parents, and I've tried not to

813
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 3: get into the whole family dynamic with my friends since

814
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,879
Speaker 3: it's depressing for me to talk about, and I also

815
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 3: didn't want to come off as just whining all the time.

816
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,439
Speaker 3: Prior to this, they've only heard some small complaints here

817
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 3: and there. With all of that out of the way,

818
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 3: here's what happened since my last post. Wow, we have

819
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 3: any gotten to the new stuff? Yeah? Well, before we

820
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 3: get into what happened, I just want to say it's

821
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 3: kind of sad because it seems like a Piana brother

822
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 3: too of a good relationship. It's just the way that

823
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 3: the parents treat everyone use what's kind of driving this wedge?

824
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 2: The parents are failing.

825
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 3: My boyfriend and I got to the cabin late Wednesday night.

826
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 3: I gave his mother a bouquet of her favorite flowers,

827
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 3: and she loved them. We had a quick glass of

828
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 3: wine while talking with his family before heading to bed.

829
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 3: I was still a bit uncertain of my decision, so

830
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 3: I probably wasn't as peppy as usual, but they didn't

831
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 3: seem to mind. That night, I made a promise to

832
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,760
Speaker 3: myself that I would put my own family issues aside

833
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 3: during the trip and just focus on having a good

834
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 3: time with my boyfriend's family, who has always been so

835
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 3: gracious to me. On Thursday, we woke up early and

836
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 3: helped his mom with some preparation for the food and

837
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 3: set the table. After we played some cornall with his

838
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 3: cousins and sadly lost due to my complete lack of

839
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 3: athletic ability bummer. The Thanksgiving meal itself was delicious, and

840
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,879
Speaker 3: his mom is such a great cook. Everyone was very

841
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 3: sweet to me and made me feel so welcome as

842
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 3: part of the family, which helped me feel much better

843
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 3: about my decision to spend the holidays with them. Yeah,

844
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 3: I mean, your parents would probably be like, it looks

845
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 3: so green. Opee, are you seasick or just jealous?

846
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 2: Yeah? Not not a good dynamic you've got over there.

847
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,959
Speaker 3: Towards the end of the night, his mom even said

848
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 3: to me that she knows it has ultimately up to

849
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 3: my boyfriend, but she hopes I can join the family

850
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 3: for real someday. I told her I would be honored

851
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 3: if that happens, and we hugged. I really do hope

852
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 3: it will. I love my boyfriend so much and I

853
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 3: want to spend the rest of my life with him.

854
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,439
Speaker 3: His family is also an incredible bonus. I had such

855
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 3: a wonderful time on Thanksgiving and enjoyed the rest of

856
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 3: the weekend as well. We went on some great hikes,

857
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 3: hung around by the bonfire, played board games, and watched movies.

858
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 3: My boyfriend also spent some time looking after his little

859
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 3: nephew and watching them play legos together definitely gave me

860
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:34,439
Speaker 3: some slight baby fever. Cute. No, that is not something

861
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:35,879
Speaker 3: I want to act on for at least a couple

862
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 3: of years. That's like the ongoing I don't know that's

863
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 3: my thing. I'm like, that's so cute. I don't want

864
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:44,240
Speaker 3: a baby right now. But they're adorable, They're so cute.

865
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 3: I just wanted I just want a loaner, though, You

866
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,399
Speaker 3: just want a loader. Give me one for a day,

867
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:49,799
Speaker 3: maybe a week.

868
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 2: Let me say, and then I'll give it back, give

869
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 2: it right back to back to the factory.

870
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

871
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 3: We got back yesterday afternoon, and I am already missing everything.

872
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,760
Speaker 3: It was genuinely a blast, and there was no family drama,

873
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 3: which made my family seem like even more of a mess. Dang,

874
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm rambling a bit now. Honestly, I

875
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 3: probably have been the whole time. But I'm just so

876
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 3: excited to share what a good time I had during

877
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 3: the holiday and that I definitely made the right decisions. Unfortunately,

878
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 3: this update isn't entirely positive. Dang, I wish it could

879
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,879
Speaker 3: be me too, Dang. So close. My parents reached out

880
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 3: last night and they still weren't happy about my choice.

881
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,280
Speaker 2: Well, of course they aren't. They're never happy about anything

882
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 2: that you do and giving them money.

883
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're giving them ten K, they might be

884
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 3: kind of at a baseline happiness. Yeah, they're like they

885
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 3: were like, all right, you didn't okay, I guess.

886
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,919
Speaker 2: We finally just feel average.

887
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 3: I guess the sea air and unlimited drinks didn't do

888
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 3: enough to relax them. My dad sent a passive aggressive

889
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,320
Speaker 3: text of cruise pictures with a message that said, sad

890
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 3: that you chose not to be with your family in

891
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 3: such beautiful places. And I sent back a picture for

892
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 3: my trip with my boyfriend's family and said, looks like

893
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 3: you guys had a good time. So did we. Then

894
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 3: my mom called and said she hoped I regretted missing

895
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 3: out on a great family vacation and spoiling their memory

896
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,720
Speaker 3: due to a petty grudge against my brother.

897
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 2: What see, they're.

898
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 3: They're even like, they're even like creating this grudge.

899
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't exact blaming you for everything, even when

900
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 2: you weren't on the trip. Yeah, they're like you ruined

901
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 2: the trip but also wasn't even there.

902
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Opie doesn't have a grudge against her brother.

903
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 3: I feel like they're they're making this thing up.

904
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are the watches against you.

905
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 3: You guys. I told her Maya, she wasn't with James

906
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,280
Speaker 3: there we go, but rather their unfair preferential treatment between

907
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 3: the two of us. My mom said that I was

908
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 3: the one being unfair by comparing our situation, since James

909
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 3: needs help while he figures out his direction life and

910
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 3: I've always been much more independent. I told her the

911
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 3: only reason that's true is because they never allowed me

912
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 3: to depend on that. She said she wasn't going to

913
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 3: apologize for raising a self sufficient daughter, and that I

914
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,959
Speaker 3: should either grow up and be grateful for everything they've done,

915
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 3: or leave them alone for good and break their hearts

916
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 3: all at once instead of doing it peace by peace.

917
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 2: That's so ridiculous, this dude.

918
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,799
Speaker 3: She called me cruel for dangling the hope of a

919
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 3: wonderful holiday only to snatch it away at the last second,

920
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 3: even though they seemed to be just fine without me there,

921
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 3: based on the photos my dad sent and what they

922
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 3: posted on social media exactly, they don't care. They just

923
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 3: want to make you feel bad thee.

924
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not the cornerstone of their ability to enjoy

925
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 2: a cruise.

926
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 3: I was really upset by this point and pointed out

927
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 3: multiple examples of how they prioritized James, just hoping I

928
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 3: could finally make her understand how growing up like this

929
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 3: has affected me. My mom said, I had a lot

930
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 3: of nerve to put their parenting under a microscope, and

931
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 3: I have no children myself, and I've never had to

932
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 3: make tough decisions. I had enough at the conversation and said,

933
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,399
Speaker 3: I guess I'll just leave you guys alone like you want,

934
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 3: since I'll never be enough for this family anyway. I

935
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 3: hung up and started crying, but my boyfriend was really

936
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,320
Speaker 3: supportive as always, and we spent the rest of the

937
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 3: night eating ice cream and watching The Hunger Games to

938
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,280
Speaker 3: cheer me up. I freaking love the Hunger Games.

939
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 2: I volunteer.

940
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 3: I freaking love that movies sees that all serious. That

941
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:02,919
Speaker 3: series is such a well done adaptation. Anyway, I absolutely

942
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 3: love the series, and I'm so excited for Hammich's movie

943
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 3: to come out. It was weird to go back to

944
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 3: work today after everything and act like nothing was the matter,

945
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 3: but I think it was also a good distraction, since

946
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 3: I chose my boyfriend's holiday plans instead of my famili's.

947
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,760
Speaker 3: I actually came back feeling mostly refreshed besides the events

948
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 3: of last night, instead of drained like I most likely

949
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 3: would have been after the cruise. I haven't heard anything

950
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,720
Speaker 3: more from my parents yet, but I have a feeling

951
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,160
Speaker 3: they're just bluffing. I'm sure once they need something they'll

952
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 3: reach out, or they'll probably try and smooth things over

953
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 3: by Christmas so they don't have to explain the situation

954
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,839
Speaker 3: to our extended family. I haven't decided yet if I'll

955
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 3: be open to reconciling. On one hand, I know I

956
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 3: deserve better than to be treated as a burden and

957
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,240
Speaker 3: an afterthought while doing so much for them. I'm tired

958
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 3: of trying to live up to their expectations, and I'm

959
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 3: not optimistic about their behavior ever changing. But on the

960
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 3: other hand, they are my family, and it's just so

961
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,120
Speaker 3: difficult to fully walk away. I just want to feel

962
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 3: the loved acceptance for my own family that I get

963
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,840
Speaker 3: from my boyfriend's family. Why is it so hard for

964
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 3: to treat me like I matter? Because they're bad parents.

965
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, they're bad complicated. Yeah,

966
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 3: that's not your faults, and they're going to make you

967
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 3: feel like it's your fault, but at the end of

968
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 3: the day, it is not. I'm also worried that if

969
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 3: I don't make nice with them, they'll twist the story

970
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 3: to make me seem like the problem, and my extended

971
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 3: family will be mad at me too. They definitely are

972
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,760
Speaker 3: going to do that for sure. Yeah, there are people

973
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 3: I like within my family, but my parents have a

974
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 3: lot of influence over everyone's opinions. I don't know if

975
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 3: it's worth putting up with them to at least keep

976
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 3: some ties to my family, or if it would be

977
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 3: better to accept the loss and move on from my

978
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 3: dynamic where I am clearly not appreciated. I want to

979
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 3: keep my brother at least, but maybe I'm just holding

980
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 3: onto the past and that version of James doesn't exist anymore.

981
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 3: I hope that's not true. I just don't know how

982
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 3: to get through to him. Since he's so brainwashed by

983
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 3: my parents and thinks they can do no wrong. I'm

984
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 3: not sure if I'll ever truly get.

985
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 2: My brother back. Damn. You should tell him, like a

986
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 2: lot of the stuff that you've said in this post,

987
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 2: yes bad, I have him. Just read the post and yeah, yeah,

988
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 2: but I know.

989
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 3: You guys can do no wrong. So you should listen

990
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 3: to more episodes of stories like this. Just go on Spotify,

991
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app and search up. Okay,

992
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 3: start time, but there is a little bit more. But

993
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 3: do you have any final thoughts, because I've got some

994
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 3: final thoughts. My final thoughts were I know you said

995
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 3: to show him this post.

996
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:17,359
Speaker 2: I wouldn't, and the only reason is because I think

997
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 2: it's going to activate his defenses. Yeah, because you're talking

998
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 2: so much about the parents, and it really seems like

999
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 2: that's where you guys. He's really it's not on the

1000
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 2: same page. Yeah, he's always defending them because they always

1001
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 2: defend him. So you really need, I think, need to

1002
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 2: come at it more of like an angle of like

1003
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 2: this is just coming from a place of care about

1004
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 2: you and your well being and your independence. It's like

1005
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:41,399
Speaker 2: you kind of have to just have that. Hey, I'm

1006
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 2: only going to have this conversation with you once, sit

1007
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 2: you down and have it. I think you need to

1008
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 2: get away and get independent. Take this information, do with

1009
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 2: it what you want. But I want my brother back.

1010
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't have you anymore. Yeah.

1011
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've got some big things to think about now,

1012
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 3: and I don't know if I'm ready to make sure

1013
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 3: a major change to my life. I do believe i'd

1014
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 3: feel much you're and lighter if I at least and

1015
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 3: distance myself from them and maybe even cut contact entirely.

1016
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 3: I guess I'll just have to see what happens. I'm

1017
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 3: sure I already know the answer to this, But is

1018
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 3: it stupid to still hold that hope that things can

1019
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 3: work out? I mean, no, it's stupid. I think it's

1020
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,800
Speaker 3: it's hope people you can have your family in your life.

1021
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's you can, and you can go no contact

1022
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 2: or low contact right now, and it's like and change

1023
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 2: your mind like people. My mom told me this when

1024
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 2: I was growing up, and it's like, you know, friendships,

1025
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 2: like losing friendships or whatever, and I'm like all upset

1026
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 2: about it, and she's like, we really have to be that,

1027
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 2: you know, upset because it's like people can go like

1028
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:37,719
Speaker 2: like people, sometimes people in life are like lined up

1029
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 2: and they're in the same place, and then they'll go

1030
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,240
Speaker 2: like that, and then sometimes they just go like that forever.

1031
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 2: But then sometimes they can come back and line up

1032
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 2: and you'll be back in each other's lives. Like yeah,

1033
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:50,400
Speaker 2: there's no telling. So it's just having the open mindedness

1034
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 2: to to move forward and you never.

1035
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:57,439
Speaker 3: Know and allow possibility. You know, whatever possibilities are gonna

1036
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,319
Speaker 3: happen in the future, but you're just knowing that you're

1037
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 3: prioritizing yourself.

1038
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think clearly, what would help the family,

1039
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 2: the most is like, there needs to be some professional

1040
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 2: apps of a therapist.

1041
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, it's sam og Host. We're gonnet back to

1042
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 1: these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

1043
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: our sponsors to help support the show.

1044
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 2: My mother and stepfather always have explosive arguments, so I'd

1045
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 2: banned him from my home.

1046
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 3: Get out of my house.

1047
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 2: That's a perfect impression.

1048
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1049
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how to start, but my name is Erica.

1050
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 2: I'm thirty five, married with two beautiful sons. My younger

1051
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 2: sister has urged me to post about our mom, and

1052
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 2: I must know if I'm the a hole with regard

1053
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 2: to the boundaries. I've set up a little backstory. My mom,

1054
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 2: who will call Stacey, is a boomer scorpio aka she

1055
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 2: is very spicy, has always been very stubborn and set

1056
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 2: in her ways. Stacy thrives on drama in all aspects

1057
00:47:58,200 --> 00:47:58,800
Speaker 2: of her life.

1058
00:47:58,840 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 1: And by the.

1059
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 2: Way, this story comes from user mental Rubbage a note

1060
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 2: just kidding mental Ruda Bega thirty three ninety three, and

1061
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 2: you can submit your stories on the r slash Showcay

1062
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,879
Speaker 2: Storytime subreddit. So she ran away with my father from

1063
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 2: the Midwest when she was seventeen, and they divorced when

1064
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 2: I was a preteen. I'm the oldest of three siblings.

1065
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 2: My brother is the problem child and has taken on

1066
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 2: a lot of the trauma that has to do with

1067
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:28,360
Speaker 2: their relationship. He has substance use disorders and several other disorders,

1068
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,720
Speaker 2: and he is my mom's favorite codependent, which is easiest

1069
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 2: to control child. Stacey remarried when I was a preteen,

1070
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 2: shortly after the divorce from my dad, to my stepdad,

1071
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 2: who will call Bill. Stacey enjoys being both the hero

1072
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 2: and the martyr and claims everyone else is a narcissist,

1073
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 2: when really she exhibits most of the behaviors of a narcissist.

1074
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 2: She has been separated from my stepdad Bill since twenty fourteen,

1075
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 2: with good reason, as they are explosive together. For example,

1076
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 2: Bill and Stacey came over for Christmas the year before

1077
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,720
Speaker 2: I put the rule of not having Bill for the holidays.

1078
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:03,800
Speaker 2: Bill and Stacy had already been separated for a few years,

1079
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 2: but he decided to come to Christmas with the promise

1080
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,480
Speaker 2: that they would both behave He came up to Stacy

1081
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 2: and started kissing her, grabbing her rear playfully, acting like

1082
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 2: they were the perfect couple. Knowing it was ticking Stacey off,

1083
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,720
Speaker 2: she told him to stop, and he continued, They're already separated.

1084
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:22,280
Speaker 2: Didn't already separate at this point? What is this?

1085
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 3: And just in front of everyone, And also she's going like, hey,

1086
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:24,800
Speaker 3: stop it.

1087
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, this should be like ohh hey, hey, get out now,

1088
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,800
Speaker 2: get out, You're gone. Why are you even here? A

1089
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 2: few minutes later, they were screaming at each other, bringing

1090
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 2: up old fights and making everyone uncomfortable. I asked them

1091
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 2: to stop or take it somewhere else, but they just

1092
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 2: kept going. It became an explosive fight, and many of

1093
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 2: our friends and family left before dinner to escape the fighting.

1094
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 2: I begged them to stop, and so did my husband,

1095
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:54,280
Speaker 2: but they ignored everyone's please. Eventually they left after ruining

1096
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 2: the entire dinner for us and our remaining guests. It

1097
00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 2: was a doodoo show. This was not a new occurrence either.

1098
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 2: Throughout their entire marriage, my two siblings and I were

1099
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 2: the glue that kept them together. We would mitigate every

1100
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 2: argument that arose and had the task of keeping the

1101
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 2: household calm. Basically, we were counselors for their marriage when

1102
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 2: we were merely children.

1103
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 3: Yes, that's that's not a great thing to put on

1104
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 3: a child.

1105
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 2: It sounds like a story book romance. When we didn't

1106
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 2: intervene in their fights, they would yell and throw things

1107
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 2: at each other, use us the children as weapons against

1108
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:30,879
Speaker 2: each other. It's just typical toxic household vibes. My brother,

1109
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,399
Speaker 2: who's thirty three male as a child that we will

1110
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 2: call Dean, that my brother has never been capable to

1111
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,840
Speaker 2: raise due to his substance abuse problems and a criminal

1112
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 2: pass So Stacy and Bill have taken responsibility for Dean's upbringing.

1113
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:45,240
Speaker 2: After that explosive Christmas, my husband and I were finally

1114
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 2: able to purchase our first house in the spring of

1115
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 2: twenty twenty, and I thought about the upcoming holidays and

1116
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 2: how to avoid another disaster. In twenty twenty, I began

1117
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,719
Speaker 2: to break from my people pleasing ways and decided to

1118
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 2: recognize my worth. I will not have my children experience

1119
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 2: the same I grew up with, and will not tolerate

1120
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 2: my mother and Bill's behavior in my home. I thought

1121
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 2: about how to proceed and decided Bill would not be

1122
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 2: welcome in my home until Stacy and Bill could rectify

1123
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 2: their relationship and behave like adults. This would effectively remove

1124
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 2: Stacy's primary trigger and hopefully facilitate happy family gatherings. This

1125
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:22,920
Speaker 2: caused a massive fight between my mom and I, but

1126
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:25,839
Speaker 2: I have not changed my rules because they still can't

1127
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 2: behave to this day around each other and are still separated.

1128
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 3: I just don't understand why he's coming to these things exactly.

1129
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 2: It's like, if you're separated and you're not my biological relative,

1130
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 2: you're not coming to Christmas.

1131
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:39,799
Speaker 3: And you're also like you hate each other, yes, you do,

1132
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 3: not like, why is she Why is she fighting so

1133
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 3: hard for this guy to come?

1134
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1135
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I feel like they'll hurt each other.

1136
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 2: Her want her fighting was probably less about him not

1137
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:51,800
Speaker 2: coming and being like, oh, so you've got a problem

1138
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 2: with me? Yeah, so what's what did I do wrong?

1139
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 2: And it's like, I mean, you're just one half of

1140
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 2: the problem.

1141
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1142
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,800
Speaker 2: I could go into pages and pages more of backstory

1143
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 2: about Stacy and Bill's toxic marriage, but I will get

1144
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,480
Speaker 2: to the reason of the post and whether I'm the ale.

1145
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 2: So let's talk about the incident that's inspired my ability

1146
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:13,760
Speaker 2: to solidify my boundaries. Dean's birthday is around the Christmas holiday,

1147
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 2: and this particular year, he was turning thirteen. Since Stacy

1148
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 2: and Bill have custody of Dean, they decided to celebrate

1149
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,720
Speaker 2: at one of those cool adventure parks and they invited

1150
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 2: the whole family. This was also the same year that

1151
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 2: I had finally bought my first house with my husband

1152
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 2: and had made my rule of not having Bill come

1153
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 2: to my home. I wasn't going to have Stacy and

1154
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 2: Bill over since their relationship was and still is incredibly toxic.

1155
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 2: The whole family was invited to this event. Stacy, Bill, Dean,

1156
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 2: my sister, her significant other, along with myself, my husband,

1157
00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 2: and our twins. Now Stacy had been abusively messaging and

1158
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:49,960
Speaker 2: calling four weeks prior to the party due to my

1159
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 2: decision to not include Bill over to my house during

1160
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 2: the holidays. I agreed to go despite the hate and

1161
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 2: animosity my mom was throwing at me to give Dean

1162
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,239
Speaker 2: a fun birthday with his cousins. At the park, my

1163
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,840
Speaker 2: husband and I watched the kids play, and my husband

1164
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,399
Speaker 2: played as well with them. My mom would not look

1165
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:10,360
Speaker 2: at me, speak to me, and basically just ignored my existence,

1166
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:12,479
Speaker 2: which I was fine with. We had a great time

1167
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 2: seeing the kids have so much fun. As we got

1168
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 2: ready to leave. My husband gave the Christmas presents to

1169
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 2: my mom since we would not see them on Christmas.

1170
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 2: She refused to come without her estranged husband, which is such.

1171
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:25,759
Speaker 3: Just what they're not even they're kind of not even

1172
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:26,400
Speaker 3: as strange.

1173
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 2: I guess if they're both raising a kid together and

1174
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 2: like they're going to the adventure park and they're still

1175
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:33,719
Speaker 2: living together, are they separated?

1176
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 3: I don't think they're that separated. I don't think they're

1177
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 3: as separates as they claim to be.

1178
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,840
Speaker 2: I mean they're like separated emotionally. Yeah, they just don't

1179
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 2: like each other.

1180
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 3: They hate each other, but they're like, well, what are

1181
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:45,480
Speaker 3: you gonna do?

1182
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:47,760
Speaker 2: They're like, we used to like each other. Maybe that'll

1183
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 2: happen again one day.

1184
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:51,520
Speaker 3: You know. It's kind of like that thing, it's that

1185
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:56,240
Speaker 3: thing whoa, which is true, but like, also it doesn't

1186
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 3: feel like they're doing any work.

1187
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 2: It takes each to actually get things back into a

1188
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,960
Speaker 2: good place and relationship. Yeah, it feels just like we'll

1189
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:08,200
Speaker 2: vibe into it. It feels more like, yeah, they're just

1190
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,359
Speaker 2: My mom proceeded to take all of the presents and

1191
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:14,320
Speaker 2: stomp over to our car and put them into the trunk,

1192
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:17,280
Speaker 2: saying that she won't take them. I'm not sure exactly

1193
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:19,960
Speaker 2: the words she used, but they were very hateful. Dean

1194
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 2: starts crying, Yeah, and my twins start crying, and then

1195
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 2: I lost my crap. I can handle the abuse, but

1196
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,879
Speaker 2: when you make kids cry, especially my own, it's when

1197
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,439
Speaker 2: I go, as my sister calls firal. Yeah, I mean,

1198
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 2: not only you made your own adopted kid cry, essentially,

1199
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 2: and you're making all the other kids cry because.

1200
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 3: You're making children cry too proud.

1201
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 2: To take gifts that aren't even for you, They're they're

1202
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:44,240
Speaker 2: for the kids.

1203
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:44,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1204
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 2: I started screaming, and if you knew me, you would

1205
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 2: know I almost never scream. I was seeing red at

1206
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 2: this point. Do not mess.

1207
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 3: With my cash. Op Hee's going full Mama bear.

1208
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 2: She went. I don't know, is that it's more like

1209
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 2: a ferret. I told her how childish, selfish, and despicable

1210
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 2: she was behaving. I tried to rein in my anger

1211
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 2: and reiterated that she and my nephew were more than

1212
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 2: welcome to come to Christmas. I just wasn't having Bill

1213
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 2: come because they can't act like an adult for thirty

1214
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 2: minutes without starting a fight. The only reason she hadn't

1215
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:22,839
Speaker 2: fought with Bill at the trampoline park was because all

1216
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 2: her anger was pointed towards me. You know how in

1217
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:28,760
Speaker 2: Lord of the Rings when Sauron missed Sam and Frodo

1218
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,239
Speaker 2: getting to Mount Doom because Aragorn and the rest of

1219
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:33,399
Speaker 2: the guys were at the Black Gates distracting the eye.

1220
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,480
Speaker 3: Spoiler spoiler alert, yeah, I spoiler.

1221
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:40,279
Speaker 2: Basically the same principle, is it really it is?

1222
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 3: I believe it is the same principle.

1223
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 2: I had all her hate and anger one hundred percent

1224
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 2: focused on her horrible daughter, which was me. Back to

1225
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,400
Speaker 2: the story, Stacy got in my face, practically nose to nose,

1226
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:54,840
Speaker 2: called me the B word in front of all the kids,

1227
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 2: and was just pushing me to fight her physically.

1228
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 3: Why is your mom like this?

1229
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 2: She's on one right now. I'm ashamed to say that

1230
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,879
Speaker 2: I was about to knock her butt into next week

1231
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 2: right then and there. I've never been in a fight

1232
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 2: in my life, but I was going to teach her

1233
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:13,920
Speaker 2: a lesson. I have never been so angry in my life. Luckily,

1234
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 2: my husband pulled me back and we left. Yees see,

1235
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 2: she was being corrupted by the power right there.

1236
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 3: Bill was over there, going, oh you are.

1237
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:23,760
Speaker 2: Hearing like all the all the high pitched like screams

1238
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 2: and you're hearing the ring noises. Yeah, she proceeded to

1239
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 2: blow up my phone for hours about how I ruined

1240
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 2: Dean's birthday. Well, no, that was your mom, and how

1241
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:38,240
Speaker 2: I am a selfish bee, along with countless other hateful phrases.

1242
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 2: I have pages and pages of her crazy texts from

1243
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 2: this time. I know I shouldn't have lost it honor,

1244
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 2: and I did apologize for that part, but I will

1245
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:49,239
Speaker 2: not apologize for setting boundaries and having happy holidays in

1246
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:51,840
Speaker 2: my home. So am I the a hole for not

1247
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 2: allowing Bill to come to my house when they're both

1248
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 2: hell be and on being mean and hateful whenever they

1249
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 2: are around each other? And was I the a hole

1250
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:01,280
Speaker 2: for losing my crap on my mom when she returned

1251
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 2: to the Christmas presents and made all the kids cry? And

1252
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:05,880
Speaker 2: by the way, you know it's gonna make all of

1253
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 2: us cry if you don't listen to full episodes with

1254
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 2: stories like this, because why wouldn't you. All you need

1255
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 2: to do is go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or

1256
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcast from and search Okay Storytime,

1257
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 2: and there you can listen to literally everything we'd ever.

1258
00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 3: Made right, yes, perfect man, oh man.

1259
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 2: No, you're not the ahole now. No.

1260
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 3: So I think that you wouldn't be the ahole if

1261
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:33,680
Speaker 3: you stopped inviting your mom, because Bill is one side

1262
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 3: of this coin, this toxic lead coded coin, and you're

1263
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,479
Speaker 3: gonna get lead poisoning if you keep holding onto that coin.

1264
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 3: Even if you flip it over. You're like, oh, I

1265
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 3: can't see the Bill side. Mom's still there, she's coding

1266
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:45,880
Speaker 3: and lead.

1267
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like her problem is that like just

1268
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 2: being implicated in an issue, or that she causes issues. Yeah,

1269
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 2: is like now she's like she's embarrassed because now it's like,

1270
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 2: oh well, even if it is just like well, she's

1271
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 2: only banned her husband, it's like, actually, wait, no, that

1272
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 2: doesn't make any sense because they're supposed to be estranged,

1273
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 2: supposed to be but maybe they're not. Maybe they're not even.

1274
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 3: Stand Bill and your Mom's relationship it seems weird. Maybe

1275
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 3: they get off on like screaming at each other. I

1276
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 3: don't know, but I think at the end of the day,

1277
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 3: you don't need to invite your mom two things either,

1278
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 3: because it seems like you have like a you have

1279
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 3: a pretty volatile relationship with your mom too.

1280
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, as of today, she still throws a fit every

1281
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 2: year around Halloween when she starts talking about coming over

1282
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 2: for the holidays, and I have to reiterate my boundaries.

1283
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 2: This year, she decided to tell me I'm banned from

1284
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 2: her life and her funeral, along with pages and pages

1285
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 2: of verbal abuse. I don't know why I even stay

1286
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 2: in contact with her. I've always been a people pleaser,

1287
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 2: and it's hard for me to take this from her

1288
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 2: year after year. She is my mom and I love her,

1289
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 2: but I'm not sure how many more times I can

1290
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 2: be called a narcissist, a disappointment of her daughter, a

1291
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 2: horrible mother, along with the slew of profanity and so on. Yeah,

1292
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 2: you don't have to take that.

1293
00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 3: Don't take it.

1294
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 2: We are in low contact right now, but after the

1295
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,240
Speaker 2: holidays have all passed, she will work her way back

1296
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 2: into our lives without an apology, and the cycle will

1297
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 2: begin again at the end of October. And that is

1298
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 2: the end of that story. But hey, Yah, sounds like

1299
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 2: you're very acutely aware of the cycle. It's time to

1300
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 2: call her out.

1301
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 3: Yeah. I just also think, at the end of the day,

1302
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 3: like you do, not have to have a relationship with her.

1303
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,919
Speaker 3: You don't like she keeps causing problems in your life.

1304
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:25,200
Speaker 3: She keeps pulling. She pulled you as a child into this,

1305
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 3: she pulled your kids. Now. It's just a cycle that

1306
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 3: ain't ain't too hot.

1307
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 2: There's never an obligation, like you know, there's always like

1308
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 2: a sense or like there's that outward pressure from like

1309
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 2: society and like everything we've been brought up in where

1310
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 2: it's like old family first, and like it's always your

1311
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 2: family you always keep. But like if she's like she's

1312
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 2: like actively making abusing you verbally like and like mentally like,

1313
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 2: it's it's okay.

1314
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:52,240
Speaker 3: I think when you get to where you almost physically

1315
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 3: fight someone, maybe we should reconsider whether or not we

1316
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:56,480
Speaker 3: want that person in our life.

1317
00:59:56,560 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, especially as adults. We love you and

1318
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 2: see to morrow.