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Speaker 1: All right, break it down.

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Speaker 2: If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy

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Speaker 2: and Cat gotcha, Covi and locking No.

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Speaker 1: Brother, ladies and peons, do you just follow an the

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Speaker 1: spirit where it's all the front.

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Speaker 2: And real stuff to the chill stuff.

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Speaker 1: And the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you

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Speaker 1: can do it just stop you feel things.

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Speaker 2: This is feeling things.

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Speaker 1: With Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.

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Speaker 1: I'm Amy and I'm Kat and my feeling of the

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Speaker 1: day is excited.

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Speaker 2: That's one of my feelings.

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Speaker 1: It is, Oh what they're definitely for two different reasons.

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Speaker 1: Because does yours have to do with leading a health

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Speaker 1: and wellness talk on a cruise?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm in charge of a talk on our

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Speaker 1: cruise that we're doing the Bobby Bone shows on a

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Speaker 1: cruise And I got an email from people Are a company.

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Speaker 1: They're like, do you have like the theme of the topic.

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Speaker 1: And I don't even know really how I got signed

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Speaker 1: up to lead this talk, but it's on my agenda

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Speaker 1: or my itinerary. Uh, you know, doing a sunrise walk

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Speaker 1: line dancing.

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Speaker 2: Wait walk on the cruise boat.

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Speaker 1: Don't know yet, Okay, don't know.

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Speaker 2: I have TVD.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if we're like walking the deck or

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Speaker 1: like if we've dogged somewhere, then we do that.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: So I decided the title of my.

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Speaker 2: Talk dun dun dum.

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Speaker 1: More whimsy, less worry cue, you know, and I like that.

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Speaker 1: There's whimsy and worry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, are you gonna little walk some.

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Speaker 1: Garlic alliteration there? Well, I am doing a pizza class,

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Speaker 1: a pizza making class, so maybe.

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Speaker 2: You're participating or you hosting it.

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Speaker 1: I'm there, make a pizza with Amy or something like that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not like the cook or the schef, like I've

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Speaker 1: never known you to make a pizza. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be doing a pizza making class, so perhaps I will

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Speaker 1: be able to undress the garlic, take its coat off,

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Speaker 1: take its coat off.

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Speaker 2: You made it a little more dirty.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, get a little cozy, comfy, kick your shoes off,

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Speaker 1: stay awhile. So I just thought of that. So it

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Speaker 1: got me excited that now I have a title, and

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Speaker 1: then I'll know where to go and like what my

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Speaker 1: theme is going to be, because I think with all

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Speaker 1: the craziness in the world, the whimsy needs to come

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Speaker 1: from all of us, and if collectively, collectively like I

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Speaker 1: just glitched. Collectively, if we all contribute more whimsy, then

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Speaker 1: there will just be more whimsy. And and you were.

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Speaker 2: Going to say, then the everybody needs to be arrested

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Speaker 2: from the Epstein files.

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Speaker 1: No, that's probably not gonna happen. But I think that

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Speaker 1: the easier it will be to create more whimsy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because there'll be so much more minium from everybody's whimsy

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Speaker 1: that the whimsy is just gonna flow. Because sometimes people

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Speaker 1: are like, I don't know, I just can't tap into

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Speaker 1: my whimsy. It's just too much. But then take some

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Speaker 1: of mind, like if we just get it going, like

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Speaker 1: let's and and and and less worry would be Like,

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Speaker 1: there's also a lot of worry about things that are

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Speaker 1: very much out of our control. So we say a

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Speaker 1: lot on here, wait to worry. Obviously, you need to

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Speaker 1: worry when necessary. But if you could wait to worry anyway,

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Speaker 1: more whimsy, less worry.

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Speaker 2: I like it. That's my So you have to come

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Speaker 2: up with that all by yourself. It could be whatever

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Speaker 2: you did, well, it meant like they're not giving you

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Speaker 2: like we want you to do this. They're like, you

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Speaker 2: can do whatever you want.

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Speaker 1: I guess I almost I replied back to the Well

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Speaker 1: I thought about I replied back to the email just

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Speaker 1: with that title. But before I gave the title, I

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Speaker 1: was gonna reply back with, well, do you have any

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Speaker 1: direction or what would y'all like or what are the

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Speaker 1: parameters or can y'all give me? And then I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like that they just want me to take

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Speaker 1: control of this, and yeah, I personally need more whimsy

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Speaker 1: less worry in my life, so yeah, why not. It's

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Speaker 1: one of those things where like as I'm talking, like

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be talking to myself. Yeah, so the talk

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Speaker 1: that I'm leading isn't me talking at anybody, it's talking

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Speaker 1: with Yeah, which is the best. Two wants to go

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Speaker 1: on a cruise and get talked at?

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Speaker 2: Well, I guess if it's you and they're like a fan,

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Speaker 2: I'd be talked at by the people that I look

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Speaker 2: up to.

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Speaker 1: Maybe. So why are you excited? Well?

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Speaker 2: I just added that in because I have another feeling.

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Speaker 2: But I'm excited because I learned today that Paradise season

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Speaker 2: two is back. Oh yeah, And I was worried that

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Speaker 2: was going to be a show that was just a

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Speaker 2: one and done because it was so good, so good

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Speaker 2: one of my favorite shows, except there was one episode.

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Speaker 1: Don't spoil it.

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to.

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Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, you is coming for I'm projecting. I'm projecting

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Speaker 1: because I spoil things on the Bobby and show often

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Speaker 1: over the years. I just it's I it's almost like

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Speaker 1: become one of my things, like I'm known for, not

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Speaker 1: proud of it, but so that Yeah, I'm projecting on you, like, oh, no,

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Speaker 1: I think she's about to spoil and you're not.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna have to. No, I won't spoil because

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Speaker 2: the show is so good. If you haven't seen it,

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Speaker 2: I don't want you to know anything about it. But

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Speaker 2: I was just gonna say there was one episode that

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Speaker 2: gave me so much anxiety. I couldn't even watch it.

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Speaker 2: I had to listen to it. It was playing on

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Speaker 2: the TV. Patrick, I'm not kidding. It was playing on

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Speaker 2: the TV. Patrick was watching it, and then I was

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Speaker 2: doing art on my kitchen table just listening to it,

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Speaker 2: and every so often I'd be like, what's what happened?

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Speaker 2: Because I couldn't watch it. I that show. I guess

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Speaker 2: it's the acting. I don't know. Sterling K. Brown is

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Speaker 2: like so amazing.

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Speaker 1: Also, James Marsen is so hard.

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Speaker 2: Forgot he was in it. Oh my god, Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: He's fifty. He might even be at this point fifty

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Speaker 1: balls crazy. He doesn't he doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Look he does not look like that.

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Speaker 1: But also talk about underrated, haughty. He doesn't get talked

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Speaker 1: about as much as like, really you know it Brad

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Speaker 1: Pitt over the years or something, which he's probably fit.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about other men his age. Who else is

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Speaker 1: in their fifties and exactly that's my point.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't he's I know, he's in other stuff.

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Speaker 1: Jerry Duty.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I didn't watch that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, he was in that though, but I mean his

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Speaker 1: career certainly began well before that, so I don't know exactly.

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Speaker 1: But that's my point, is like, is that James Marsin's

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Speaker 1: not I don't know why. I mean, maybe for some

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Speaker 1: people he's always fens the top of the list, but

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Speaker 1: what I'm.

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Speaker 2: Underrated, hatty some people he's always been underrated.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe maybe it's just me, maybe I'm late to

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Speaker 1: the party. But he is very Yeah, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: very attractive, I do.

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Speaker 2: I think. Okay, Well that's I'm excited because of that

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Speaker 2: because it comes back out on so every yeah, every month.

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Speaker 2: This was really hard for me to understand. So just

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Speaker 2: bear with me. Comes out Mondays at twelve am, which

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Speaker 2: means it comes out Sunday night, but you'd have to

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Speaker 2: stay up right.

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Speaker 1: So it's like the Hulu's Love Story every week Thursday

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Speaker 1: at eleven pm, so really it's out so it's really

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Speaker 1: midnight Eastern time, same thing.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you could watch it Mondays and they're doing

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Speaker 2: they reach a week. They released the first three. This

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Speaker 2: is what I do like when they do this. They

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Speaker 2: give you three episodes to start with and then they

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Speaker 2: do week to week. Okay, but I'm pumped.

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Speaker 1: I am also pumped. And now I'll have two shows

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Speaker 1: that are releasing weekly to look forward to. So I've

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Speaker 1: got Love Story and Paradise.

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Speaker 2: And you're gonna watch Love is Blind Season ten?

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Speaker 1: No, I'm probably not, although I know that that's a

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Speaker 1: hot topic. Like after we talked about Love Is Blind,

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Speaker 1: it was all that's all my Thankfully, my algorith of

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Speaker 1: them was giving me some of that so I could

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Speaker 1: take a break from some of the heavier stuff in

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Speaker 1: the world. And I was like, oh man, cow was

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Speaker 1: onto something with that.

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Speaker 2: So you have a different perspective. So last week we

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Speaker 2: talked about this, you have a different perspective now that

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Speaker 2: you've seen it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally get it now, Like this guy, what

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Speaker 1: in the world? Who does he think he is? Did

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Speaker 1: you see that his ex girlfriend was like playing a

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Speaker 1: voicemail that he left her?

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Speaker 2: No, and he's.

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Speaker 1: About how he spent like nine hundred dollars on dinner

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Speaker 1: and first of all, why and what? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Apparently he's in a lot of debt. Well, and he's short.

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Speaker 2: Which is if he was a good person in short.

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Speaker 1: Saying anything about this, it's just that he was so

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Speaker 1: rude to her anyway, me not even reading me. We'll

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Speaker 1: move on. I have a little game you get to pick. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about both, but it's which one

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Speaker 1: are we going to do first? Okay, do you want

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Speaker 1: four ways you're accidentally training people to disrespect you or

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Speaker 1: the five levels of listening? Which one do you want first? MM?

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Speaker 2: Is this the game?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really just pick which one we're going to

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Speaker 1: talk about first.

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Speaker 2: We can do the first one kind of waiting for

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Speaker 2: you to one of them be a game.

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Speaker 1: Now, neither one is like a game. It's just Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's like pick your topic.

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Speaker 2: Okay, the first one.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we're just going to order. That's the one I

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Speaker 1: have first, anyway, So thank you, and and I'm curious

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Speaker 1: your take on it as a therapist, Like, okay, at

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Speaker 1: the how we train people to treat us. You know

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Speaker 1: some quotes I love like that. This makes me think

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Speaker 1: of as like, yeah, you train people how to treat you.

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Speaker 1: And then also the other one just escaped me. Oh shoot, no,

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Speaker 1: come on.

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Speaker 2: No, it was right there.

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Speaker 1: Okay, the quote, the quote that I wanted to remember if.

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Speaker 2: It was what other people think about you is none

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Speaker 2: of your business.

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Speaker 1: Not that. No, now I'm even more okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: train you train people how to treat you.

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Speaker 2: And then how my availability, my free time is not

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Speaker 2: your availability. No, I'm just thinking of saying.

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Speaker 1: My treat treat you, treat me how you treat me.

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Speaker 1: I treat myself others as though you would like to

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Speaker 1: be treated love your neighbor. No, okay, it'll come to me,

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Speaker 1: it'll come to me. But these are ways we're accidentally

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Speaker 1: training people to disrespect. That's okay, And again, give us

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Speaker 1: your thoughts as a therapist. Okay, because we train people

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Speaker 1: how to treat Oh, I was seeing if I said

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Speaker 1: that line again, because that's where I lost it when

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Speaker 1: I said, I'm curious your thoughts. Is a therapist? Okay,

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Speaker 1: it'll come back to me. The first way is the

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Speaker 1: availability trap. You drop everything for people, you know, like

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Speaker 1: you're the one they call. They need you to drop them.

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Speaker 1: You're teaching them my time has no value, So you

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Speaker 1: could try this instead. I can help you with this

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Speaker 1: on Thursday after two pm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I like that, like you get something that works

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Speaker 2: for you. I do think that is a training people

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Speaker 2: how to treat you thing.

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Speaker 1: I do think that though, if someone is dropping stuff,

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Speaker 1: well when necessary. Obviously this was if it's like someone

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Speaker 1: has a flat tire.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm watching Love Is Blind.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I can go Thursday after Okay, so obviously within reason.

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Speaker 1: But I do think why some people drop things is

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Speaker 1: they think they're being helpful and they are, but they

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Speaker 1: think they don't.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, I think people there are people that need

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Speaker 2: to be needed, and so that's like they get a

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Speaker 2: high off of that, like, oh you need me, I'll

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Speaker 2: be there. But then that ends up backfiring because you

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Speaker 2: become so run down you don't take time for yourself.

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Speaker 2: You're always fulfilling others, and then people end up not

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Speaker 2: be doing that same thing for you and you can

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Speaker 2: become resentful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it's a big old trap trap.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, fine line, you help people.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but you can have boundaries surrounded within reason. Okay.

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Speaker 1: The second way is the permission slip. You laugh off

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Speaker 1: their disrespectful comments.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So what you're thinking and doing that is like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I just I don't want to be dramatic. I want

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Speaker 1: to keep things drama free. What you're teaching someone when

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Speaker 1: you do that over and over is that disrespect is

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Speaker 1: acceptable and even entertaining.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this one's hard because I feel like a

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Speaker 2: lot of women do that because we've been taught that,

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Speaker 2: like people will just disrespect us and people will talk

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Speaker 2: like that. I think this happens more with women than

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Speaker 2: with men. So you can feel like self preservation because

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Speaker 2: if I say something, is there going to be some

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Speaker 2: kind of punishment or consequence for me sticking up for myself,

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Speaker 2: especially in the workplace.

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Speaker 1: They're like, what's the backlash?

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Speaker 2: Yeah so but yeah that's tough. But also what I

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Speaker 2: try to mind myself is because oftentimes I would laugh

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Speaker 2: something off because I don't want to make them uncomfortable,

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Speaker 2: especially if I feel like I'm not sure if they

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Speaker 2: meant to be rude or not. But then I'm like,

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Speaker 2: wait a second, I'm uncomfortable, So why am I swallowing

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Speaker 2: the discomfort? Like they're allowed to be uncomfortable too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And one way to handle that is just that's

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Speaker 1: not funny and then move on instead of laughing at it,

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Speaker 1: but like you don't have to make it dramatic and

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Speaker 1: this whole thing of like why do you think that's funny?

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Speaker 1: Like don't just like a statement of like, oh that's

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Speaker 1: not funny, yeah, and move on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there was there was some list at some point

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Speaker 2: you read. I honestly don't know what it was for,

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Speaker 2: but I liked one of the statements where it was like, well,

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Speaker 2: that's a weird comment to make, like just being like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, uh it really is odd. Yeah, that one will

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Speaker 1: really throw people off.

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Speaker 2: It's odd thing to say out loud.

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Speaker 1: Like oh yeah, interesting thing to.

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Speaker 2: Say hell loud?

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Speaker 1: Okay, awkward. The third way is the approval seeker, So

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Speaker 1: you explain yourself when you do not need to.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I explain a lot, over, explain over, explain you've

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Speaker 1: helped me a lot with over explaining.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, if we could, I wish we could

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Speaker 2: show like a case study of your progress.

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Speaker 1: So you've noticed.

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Speaker 2: Well, I just remember back in the day working on

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Speaker 2: some things with you, like texts you would send people

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Speaker 2: or stuff like that, and I'd be like, this is

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Speaker 2: too much information. And now I feel like you've become

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Speaker 2: good at I think it's because you have your scripts now.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I love a script. Yeah, but I just remember

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Speaker 2: you used to give so much information. I think you

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Speaker 2: wanted people understand you, but sometimes people aren't. They're not.

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Speaker 2: They're just going to choose to not understand you. So

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Speaker 2: this doesn't matter. It clear as kind is something I

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Speaker 2: think you've adopted to.

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Speaker 1: What we think when we do this is I'm being

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Speaker 1: polite and considerate in giving all the details. And what

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Speaker 1: you're teaching people when you do that is my decisions

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Speaker 1: need their approval to be valid. When really a simple

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Speaker 1: response could be that doesn't work for me, full stop.

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Speaker 2: Would you send a message like that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I have done it in my relationship. That doesn't

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Speaker 1: work for me. You know that I tell you that

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Speaker 1: exact line. This doesn't work for me. I think is

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Speaker 1: how I said it.

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Speaker 2: Do you relate to the part that says I'm being

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Speaker 2: polite and considerate or I think that's.

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Speaker 1: In general why a lot of people do it. But

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Speaker 1: I'm doing it to make sure that they don't think

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Speaker 1: negatively of me, or that they understand the full picture

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Speaker 1: so they don't it doesn't reflect poorly on me because

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Speaker 1: I feel like the more information I give will be helpful.

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Speaker 2: I also feel like there might be a part of

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Speaker 2: that doesn't want to come off as me, and you

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Speaker 2: want them to understand that, like, yeah, they think positive.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we're saying the same thing, right, yes?

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Speaker 1: Or does this not work for you?

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Speaker 2: Well? I think it's both them not taking it personally

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Speaker 2: is also going to help them think positively of you. Yes, exactly. Okay.

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Speaker 1: The fourth way the enabler. Are you any of these

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Speaker 1: by the way, or are you just so helpful?

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Speaker 2: I do the laugh at disrespectful comments. That's when I

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Speaker 2: struggle with that. I'm I'm to the actively working on

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Speaker 2: I definitely don't fall on the availability.

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Speaker 1: You're not, Oh you need something? Do you even offer

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Speaker 1: Thursday at two pm?

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Speaker 2: No? I will offer a time, but I don't think

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Speaker 2: i'm anybody when I think of my friends, I don't

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Speaker 2: think any of them think of me as the person that,

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Speaker 2: like the.

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Speaker 1: Go to callcat, she's always available.

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Speaker 2: I'm not, yeah, not to. They'll come to me for

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Speaker 2: like support or advice or questions, but they're okay if

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Speaker 2: something happened. I'm paying myself as a bad friend. If

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Speaker 2: something happened, people know that I'll be there, but I'm

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Speaker 2: not always available.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like you're being an approval seecret at the moment.

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Speaker 1: You don't need to overexplain. We know who you are too,

350
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Speaker 1: sm just kidding the enabler. You give second chances to everyone,

351
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:40,159
Speaker 1: and what you think is, well, everybody makes mistakes and

352
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Speaker 1: or something that just came to mind for this one.

353
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Speaker 1: A lot is like their childhood or what is that called?

354
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Speaker 1: Like a excuse like you if you excuse their trauma,

355
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Speaker 1: like you feel bad because their behavior is a result

356
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Speaker 1: of something that they went through. But it's got a

357
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Speaker 1: word like apologist. I mean, I can't even think of

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Speaker 1: the quote I wanted to say earlier that I thought

359
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,880
Speaker 1: was so good, So don't ask my brain right now.

360
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,679
Speaker 1: But you know, like a never mind, you're a defense,

361
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:15,600
Speaker 1: a pulse justify you justify you. I feel like there

362
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Speaker 1: is an exact thing. Maybe it'll come to me.

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Speaker 2: Maybe not.

364
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Speaker 1: What you're teaching them when you enable that way is

365
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Speaker 1: actions don't have consequences. And what you could try instead

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Speaker 1: is I've already addressed this with you moving forward dot

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Speaker 1: dot dot.

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Speaker 2: Fill in the blank. I think I used to do this,

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Speaker 2: especially with men. I would excuse them, But I think

370
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Speaker 2: that was more because I'd like, I wanted to squeeze

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Speaker 2: the lemon of out of a relationship when it was

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Speaker 2: really over.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that one last job.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Kat.

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Speaker 1: Maybe the other day because we were talking about just

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Speaker 1: breakups in general, like in life, and Kat was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't know, like I've never been the

378
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Speaker 1: one to break up, like I've only been broken up

379
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Speaker 1: with and do you want to it it's true? Are you

380
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,640
Speaker 1: gonna admit what you say that you do now as

381
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Speaker 1: a married woman. Yeah, it's funny, Okay, it made me laugh.

382
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Speaker 2: So I've never I mean, I've ended something with somebody

383
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Speaker 2: that was like a fling, but not like a serious

384
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Speaker 2: I've never had to break up with somebody that I

385
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,880
Speaker 2: think somebody like cried over me, you know, whereas I've

386
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Speaker 2: been broken up with multiple times and I felt that

387
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Speaker 2: like sadness whatever, So sometimes and I would do it.

388
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Speaker 2: I mean sometimes I still think about it, but I

389
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Speaker 2: would do it more. When we were in dating. I

390
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 2: would just picture what it would be like to break

391
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Speaker 2: up with Patrick, just to see his reaction, to see

392
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Speaker 2: what he would do and how he would feel. Because

393
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Speaker 2: I think this comes from like I want people to

394
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Speaker 2: like long for me the way that I have longed

395
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Speaker 2: for other people. And so I'm like, I want somebod

396
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 2: to be heartbroken over losing me. But then guys, I

397
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 2: would never do it. Yeah, would just have thought about it.

398
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Speaker 1: We just think about breaking up with them, so you

399
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Speaker 1: can see how sad he'd be.

400
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like would he cry? And when he, like,

401
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 2: I try to hang out with his friends. You would

402
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 2: go to the bar and he would just cry, So

403
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 2: do you have to go home? And then his friends

404
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 2: would be like, Patrick, come on out, there's girls here,

405
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Speaker 2: and he'd be like, I don't want to see any

406
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Speaker 2: other girls. I love Cat And then he'd like call

407
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Speaker 2: me every night, beg for me to go back.

408
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Speaker 1: Yeah, you just thought about it a little bit.

409
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 2: Just once or twice. Hear me when I say I

410
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Speaker 2: would never.

411
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and after you said that, You're like, also, this

412
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:32,359
Speaker 1: isn't healthy. I was like, I'm crazy, But I love

413
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,679
Speaker 1: that you admit that sort of stuff, and it's it.

414
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Speaker 1: I feel like it's a thought.

415
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Speaker 2: That's the kind of daydreams I have.

416
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I don't know that i've I mean, I

417
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 1: had two serious boyfriends before I got married, and I'm

418
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 1: pretty sure they both. I mean, one ended because it

419
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 1: needed to end. But I think I probably would have

420
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Speaker 1: stayed with him. I would have been an enabler. He

421
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 1: did a lot of like not great things. But I

422
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's just a mistake that you helped

423
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 1: up with your ex girlfriend.

424
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Speaker 2: I know you feel bad.

425
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Speaker 1: And I came to your house to pick up my

426
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Speaker 1: cell phone because I forgot it and I caught y'all,

427
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 1: mm hmm, just a mistake.

428
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:14,480
Speaker 2: When did you stay with them?

429
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Speaker 1: Well, I'm pretty sure we kind of broke up that night.

430
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Speaker 1: And then that's when I drank too many white Russians

431
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: and I cannot to this day, to this day, I

432
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,880
Speaker 1: cannot have a sip of a white Russian.

433
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Speaker 2: Where were you going? Where you were ordering a white Russian?

434
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 2: Where were you going where you were ordering a white Russian?

435
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 1: Ptarmigan The Ptarmigans. We would call it Petar.

436
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 2: It's a bar frozen drink.

437
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: Brian College Station. Across from Carnies it's the twenty one

438
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 1: and up bar. So there's two bars in Brian College

439
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 1: Station area, Texas A and M, and they were I

440
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: have no idea. I'm sure they're still there, but these

441
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 1: were very popular when I was there. And one was

442
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: eighteen and up. That was Carnie's and across the street

443
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: was Ptarmigan and it was twenty one and up. And

444
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,640
Speaker 1: I must have been twenty one. That's the only reason why.

445
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 1: Note well, I mean, it's not like I didn't get

446
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,440
Speaker 1: in sometimes before I officially turned twenty one. But I'm

447
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: pretty sure at the time that this relationship ended, or

448
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: when this would have happened, I would have been twenty

449
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 1: one at Ptarmigan having white Russians and I got so sick.

450
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 2: Was that your drink of choice?

451
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 1: It was that night, Okay, I'll have a white Russian

452
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 1: I mean, and I was like crying.

453
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 2: It was like, not good, I'll take another.

454
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 1: I don't recall that ever really being my drink of choice.

455
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: To answer your question, I just know that night I

456
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,239
Speaker 1: must have really wanted to turn into story I went

457
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: on and they taste like milkshakees, so it gets out

458
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 1: of controls. I don't know, I would have to. Okay,

459
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: So a classic white Russian cocktail requires, according to Shannon,

460
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:03,679
Speaker 1: three main ingredients vodka, coffee, and liqueur like khalua and

461
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 1: cream heavy cream half in half or like whole milk

462
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: served over ice in an old fashioned glass.

463
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 2: Okay, so that is So what's a bushwhacker? It's like

464
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 2: the same thing bushwacker. I don't think is coffee. I

465
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 2: think it's it's like chocolatey, but it might be. I

466
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 2: actually don't know what's in a bushwacker, but they're they're frozen.

467
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 2: They're actually like milkshakes, but they're like more icy than Yeah.

468
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: But okay, well this girl, uh, I enabled his behavior

469
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: behavior a little bit then. I'm sure I think we

470
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: dated a little bit more after that at some point.

471
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 2: Is that egg boyfriend egg you cried up the eggs?

472
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:45,719
Speaker 1: Oh? No, that was that was the one after him? Okay,

473
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,679
Speaker 1: and uh, he definitely broke off with me. There is

474
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:53,159
Speaker 1: no confusion on who ended it. The thing about the

475
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: one before, Actually, I think meeting him is what helped

476
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 1: me not go back to the other do you know

477
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like the enabler. I probably would have

478
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,640
Speaker 1: gone back to multiple times because I always did, and

479
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 1: he was the way that he was a ladies man,

480
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: if you will. There was one time, if I ever

481
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 1: told you a story, where I was we were in college,

482
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 1: but I was we were back in Austin. I was

483
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: home visiting for the weekend. He was from Austin too,

484
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: but he was in our driveway and just had left,

485
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,639
Speaker 1: and we cell phones and house phones still coexisted together.

486
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: This isn't like cell phone time. So he called the

487
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 1: landline and said is I won't say her name now.

488
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: I think I used to tell this story and say

489
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 1: her name, but that feels weird now that I've matured.

490
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: But he was like, let's say it was Catherine. Is

491
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:49,360
Speaker 1: Catherine there? And I was like what You're what?

492
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 2: This is? Amy?

493
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 1: Like, you're in my driveway. But Catherine was another one

494
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: of his ex girlfriends. And my mom just looked at

495
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 1: me and she was like, Amy, you know what he's doing.

496
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: He's literally leaving here and calling her because he's going

497
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 1: to meet up with her. He's going over to her house,

498
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: Like that's what he's doing. And I was with him no,

499
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: because he had some excuse. Oh but like his I

500
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 1: could see his tail lights in my driveway. He hadn't

501
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 1: even fully left, and from his car was calling what

502
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: he thought was her landline. Because it's not like he

503
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: probably didn't have those numbers saved and he probably just

504
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: went to like the recent you know what I mean.

505
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: So anyway, same guy. So the girl that when I've

506
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: left my cell phone his house in college station now

507
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 1: that we're back in college, that was a different ex girlfriend,

508
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 1: and so who knows. He just was a mess. But

509
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: then I met the other guy, and then that helped

510
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: me not go back to him. And then I acted

511
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: like a psycho and he made me eggs one day

512
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, I don't eat that, y'all.

513
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: I was like crazy person.

514
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, you we're doing the best you could.

515
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: At the time, my disordered eating was so out of control.

516
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: It was almost like do you not even know me?

517
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 1: I can't have the yolk?

518
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

519
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 1: But also that was what two thousand and two, like

520
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 1: what did we where? Was were we eating yolk then?

521
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 1: Or was I just not eating yolk? Because you know,

522
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: we've had a love relationship with the yolk.

523
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,439
Speaker 2: I just can't get past the way you say it.

524
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 2: You no, I was gonna say that, and you kept

525
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 2: saying that, say it your way, yoke, yoke yo, I

526
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 2: don't say it a British accent. Well that's how when

527
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 2: you say yolk, it kind of sounds gross.

528
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: Well that doesn't work for me. That's not funny. We

529
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: try all the ways, Like I feel disrespected right now,

530
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm I'm never helping you. I've already

531
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 1: addressed this with you. Those are all the things, Okay.

532
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 2: I think it was just the amount of times you

533
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 2: said it. You just said it once, Okay, fine, yoke, Okay,

534
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 2: you can say it however you want. It was just

535
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 2: you said it like six times. Okay.

536
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: There's things I can't say. Yolk, dwear, crown, these those

537
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 1: are three words I'm never gonna say. However wants me

538
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: to say them? No, I say almen, Oh, I only

539
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: say okay, fine, okay, four words poem, poem, poem, those

540
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: are words I'm gonna say.

541
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 2: That's okay.

542
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 1: So I have four words that I struggle with. You're right, poem, drawer, crown, yolk,

543
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: And why do I say it? Why do I not

544
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 1: say it? Correctly.

545
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 2: You're asking me, well, I don't know. I don't know,

546
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 2: but either, but I think it's okay for you to

547
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,719
Speaker 2: say them that way. I'm good to work on not

548
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 2: calling it okay. I don't care if you call it out.

549
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 2: Everybody calls it out.

550
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 1: I was talking about these color sticks crayons.

551
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 2: I grew up saying crown too. Like I think a

552
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 2: lot of people say, what is it? What's there spelled crayon?

553
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 2: But they are crowns.

554
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: So what am I saying wrong?

555
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 2: Why? Why did we ever start saying crowns?

556
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: They are crowns, crowns.

557
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 2: You'd kind of say a mixture of crayon and crown

558
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 2: crown crayon. But I don't know why. It was crayon

559
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 2: hard for people to say as a kid. So we

560
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 2: just all started saying crown. Okay, that's it, and then

561
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 2: you just get used to it. I say begel instead

562
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: of bagel.

563
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should not be talking begelgel a begel.

564
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 2: Begel.

565
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: Do you say grocery do you say, like, Shannon's in here,

566
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: So I'll say use as an example, like she'll say

567
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: I'm going to the grocery.

568
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 2: I say grocery store.

569
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, some people just say grocery.

570
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's like a where you grew up

571
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 2: because also my friend that is from Boston says she's

572
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 2: going food shopping, food shopping stead of grocery shopping. Okay.

573
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 2: Shannon used to say that where did you grow up? Okay,

574
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 2: so Philly. So I think in the northern part they

575
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 2: say food shopping instead of grocery shopping. Okay.

576
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: So because I always grew up saying we're gonna go

577
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: to the store or the grocery store, and then some

578
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 1: people just leave it as oh, I'm headed to the grocery,

579
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 1: and then I'm always well, that's what it's to them,

580
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: that's the store.

581
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to the grocery like I'm going to

582
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: the mall.

583
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 1: Right, okay, yeah, Well, speaking of words and listening and

584
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: hearing and talking, yeah, we can move on to the

585
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: next category, the second part of the gate class. Did

586
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: you know there are five levels listening?

587
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 2: This is gonna be a little test. Mm hmm.

588
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: You and I both are like the number one The

589
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: number one type of listening were the wait to talk?

590
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 2: Well, can I give a yat?

591
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

592
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: I feel like in my personal life I listened differently

593
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 2: than my professional life. Oh, yeah, for sure, because I

594
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 2: don't want anybody to listen to this and be like, oh,

595
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 2: she's probably terrible what or job?

596
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: Oh no, I think that you can definitely prioritize.

597
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like when I'm not working, I'm like, oh,

598
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 2: I just want to be myself absolutely.

599
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 1: And also, yeah, your primary job when you're listening, because

600
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 1: the number one thing is waiting to talk. Like when

601
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: you're a therapist, you are listening most of the time.

602
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: You can't be like waiting to Like I'm trying to

603
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,239
Speaker 1: imagine if I went to a therapist and then they

604
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 1: talked the entire time.

605
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 2: I feel like, especially if you had stuff to say.

606
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 2: Some clients like it, oh to say no no, no, no, no no.

607
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know. I'm saying, like, if you had stuff

608
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 2: to say that would really bother you, which it would

609
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 2: bother me too. There are some clients that like don't

610
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 2: speak much, so you help like facilitate them to come out. Yeah,

611
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 2: you like to.

612
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: Prompt massage the converse.

613
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 2: I don't like that.

614
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: Okay, waiting to talk. You're quiet, but only because you're

615
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 1: thinking about what you'll say next, and I'm itching to

616
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 1: do it.

617
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do that a lot.

618
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 1: Waiting to talk, waiting to talk, waiting to talk. It's

619
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: called also called self focused.

620
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 2: Oh I don't.

621
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: That doesn't sound very good.

622
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 2: I just one of the reasons I do that is

623
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: I get really excited. And also we've talked about this,

624
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 2: we forget, which clearly you can see how easily you

625
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 2: forget things that you want to say. I forget stuff.

626
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 2: If I don't say it, sometimes that means it wasn't

627
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: that important. It might not need to be said.

628
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: Don't worry this entire conversation. I've been trying to think

629
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 1: of that quote in the back of my mind, and

630
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, stay focused, stay focused, but think of the quote.

631
00:31:58,920 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 2: What is the quote?

632
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: Can't think of the quotes? Still haven't thought of it.

633
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 1: My goal is to think of it by the end

634
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: of the episode. But also if I don't, it just

635
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: wasn't that important. Yeah, and it meant to me, but

636
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: it feels so good to think of it.

637
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 2: You still probably have a little bit of time.

638
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 1: You can be hearing the words, So this is a

639
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: distracted listener. You catch parts of the conversation, but your

640
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 1: attention drifts.

641
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 2: I don't think I relate to that unless I do

642
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 2: sometimes well, unless I'm really preoccupied with something going on. Yeah,

643
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 2: like I don't know that would be right now, But well.

644
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 1: I can give you an example, like when I'm at

645
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: the grocery store, because I've done this with you before.

646
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 1: If I'm at the grocery store and I'm on the

647
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: phone and you're talking and I'm also actively at the

648
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: grocery when i'm food chopping jopping, and I'm on the

649
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: phone with somebody and they're talking and I'm looking for

650
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 1: something and I'm trying to and I have I'm over simulated.

651
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: I will be like, oh, shoot, like I just missed

652
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: a part and I need to like admit.

653
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 2: Like do you admit it or do you just like

654
00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: act like you know.

655
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: Well, I'll try to, I feel like, try to survive.

656
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 2: But sometimes you're just like yeah, and I'm like to.

657
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 1: Cheat you maybe, which I feel we all know that yeah, yeah,

658
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: You'll never know maybe it was a yeah, or maybe

659
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: it was a yeah. I really hope I can pick

660
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 1: up on what she's saying, but it wasn't intentional and

661
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: I care about what you're saying. I know there's been

662
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: a time where I've like I had to say like

663
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I don't remember what you're talking about.

664
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: Grocery shopping and having a serious conversation. It's really hard.

665
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 2: I can't even I used to try to well, let's look,

666
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 2: call it audio books while I grocery shop, and I

667
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 2: would not end up hearing what was said because I'm

668
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 2: so focused on finding my broccoli. You know. So that's tough. Yeah,

669
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: so be easy on yourself.

670
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you.

671
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 2: Uh.

672
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 1: There's the understanding the message type of listener. This is

673
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: the focus This is who you want to be. This

674
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 1: is who you want to be to all you focusers

675
00:33:59,240 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: out there.

676
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 2: You're tuned in.

677
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: You hear not just the words, but what they mean.

678
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 1: You're listening to understand, not reply. How to be this

679
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: person who just listens, no reply?

680
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 2: But what if you want to reply? Like, what if

681
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 2: I want you to reply to me? You wait?

682
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: I imagine that you wait as a listener, and then

683
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: you say, probably the question we've talked about even a

684
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 1: listener remind us about it of do you want me

685
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: to just listen or do you want me to give

686
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 1: my thoughts?

687
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 2: Do you want my feedback?

688
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay. Next up is the listener that recognizes emotions.

689
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,280
Speaker 1: This is the empathetic person.

690
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 2: Feels like they're getting better as we go.

691
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 1: You go deeper, you sense their emotional state and recognize

692
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: how they feel, not just what they say.

693
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I just have to say this. I think

694
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 2: you do and myself in this category. We do all

695
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 2: of these. It's not like you always are the waiting

696
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 2: to talk.

697
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 1: It just is that's true, and I can be I

698
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 1: can feel, you know. What I really feel the most

699
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 1: is the sort of unrelated but like Stevenson and I

700
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: were watching like funniest home videos the other day, and

701
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,959
Speaker 1: I have a really hard time watching the videos where

702
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: people fall or hit their groin area or like they slide,

703
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 1: like I don't. Stevenson's like dying laughing, and he's like, oh,

704
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 1: and I am uncomfortable. I don't like it. I feel

705
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 1: it in my body, like my body feels it painful.

706
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,800
Speaker 2: I do love a slipping video. There's some funny videos

707
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 2: of people familis. I don't like when people are embarrassed.

708
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 2: I I do not find that funny and I get

709
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 2: very uncomfortable. I don't want to embarrass somebody else, and

710
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 2: if somebody else feels embarrassed, I want to rescue them.

711
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 2: But I can watch somebody fall, unless it's like they

712
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 2: broke a bone, then that's like oh.

713
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, But a lot of times when it's submitted to

714
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: the America's funny at some videos, like it's not a

715
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 1: tragic event, it's they're even laughing. But my body feels

716
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: it like I I don't like it.

717
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 2: Okay, your feelings, emotions, you're connected.

718
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: And then finally someone who hears what's unsaid, so they

719
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 1: are fully present, like you can pick up up up

720
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 1: on the deeper meaning, like the things that someone might

721
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 1: be struggling to express what they need you to hear,

722
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: so you.

723
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 2: Know the unset.

724
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know that I have that gift I

725
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 1: need more like so tell me you know, Yeah, I'm

726
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:48,760
Speaker 1: not a mind reader.

727
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know that anybody is fully this picking

728
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,399
Speaker 2: up a Yeah we can pick up on the deeper meaning,

729
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 2: but like, yeah, we're not. That's I can't read people's minds.

730
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 2: And I listen to people for a living mm hmm,

731
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 2: because when you assume things, often then we're just planting

732
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 2: that in their head and we don't know if that's

733
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 2: really actually what they need or not.

734
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 1: You know what assuming does.

735
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 2: It makes a bad word of you and me.

736
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 1: So do you think that falls into the category a

737
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: bad word?

738
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

739
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: According to the FCC, Shannon, look that up. I mean

740
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,320
Speaker 1: if podcasting you can cuss, not that we were not

741
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: a podcast, that CUSSS is. But FCC for the federal

742
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: the regulate. They regulate what's allowed on airwaves like the

743
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: radio and TV, but podcasting doesn't have the same regulations.

744
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 2: But that's like, would you want your six year old

745
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:43,720
Speaker 2: saying that word?

746
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,760
Speaker 1: No? But I don't. I do think I on radio

747
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 1: and TV, we might be able to say.

748
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 2: Oh, I just don't like that word. The word oh really, Yeah,

749
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:56,439
Speaker 2: I say other curse words, willy nilly, I just don't

750
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 2: really like that one. And how I know that you

751
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 2: don't like when I say pisses me off? You don't

752
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 2: like that I don't like that word?

753
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 1: Okay, okay. According to the FCC's website, Federal Communications Commission,

754
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:17,240
Speaker 1: to be exact, they do consider that word.

755
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 2: You can say it a SS.

756
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 1: Like we're children, a vulgar, indecent or profane term that

757
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 1: is inappropriate for broadcasts between six am.

758
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: And ten pm.

759
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: So ten oh one pm, let it rip. But what

760
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 1: is that saying? For real? I'm trying to think of

761
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: it because I can't. My brain doesn't know. You know

762
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: what assumptions we know what assuming does makes it.

763
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 2: As out of me, you and me, you and me.

764
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 2: It's like how you.

765
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: Fellow you and me because assume.

766
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how excited me to throw you off.

767
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: No, I get it now, I know the saying, but

768
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: I also call you that quote. I just almost want

769
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,240
Speaker 1: to sit here are you until I think of the quote,

770
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:07,399
Speaker 1: like you train people how to treat you? That's where

771
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: And then I had another quote that's similar. What did

772
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 1: we just sit here till I figure it out?

773
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 2: Let's just like, let me just sit here. Let's just

774
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 2: let's just say some quotes. I can tell you a

775
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 2: story of when I act I was broken up with.

776
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 2: I mean, I broke up with somebody once. Okay, I

777
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 2: can tell you a story of when I act I

778
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,799
Speaker 2: was broken up with. I mean, I broke up with

779
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 2: somebody once. Okay. It came to me earlier and I

780
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,720
Speaker 2: didn't think it was important, but now it feels important.

781
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna be listening as much as I can

782
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,400
Speaker 1: while I also try to think of the quote.

783
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 2: Okay, well, my active So this was in fifth grade.

784
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 2: It was my first boyfriend. He was so cute and

785
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:00,839
Speaker 2: he asked me I it was girl friend. And then

786
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 2: we didn't talk because you know, when you're in fifth

787
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 2: grade and you have a boyfriend, then you get scared

788
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,399
Speaker 2: of them. And then so I had my friend break

789
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 2: up with him because I wasn't talking to him obviously,

790
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 2: and he was really upset, and he sent me an

791
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 2: email that night. Well, first he called me and asked

792
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 2: me to get on AIM so we could talk. So

793
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 2: we couldn't talked on the phone, and I said no.

794
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 2: So then he sent me an email and he said

795
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,320
Speaker 2: that the only two things he wants out of life

796
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 2: are for me to go back out with him again

797
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 2: and to go to heaven.

798
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 1: Oh so did you?

799
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 2: I think I just was so anxious about having a

800
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 2: boyfriend because then I wouldn't speak to I got nervous

801
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 2: when I would see him. But like before we were friends.

802
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:44,919
Speaker 1: Where is he now?

803
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 2: Oh he's like a professional baseball coach? Shut up?

804
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, dang, you kind of said that with.

805
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm the happy So it's fine you're dating

806
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 2: or you're married. I've been married for a couple of

807
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 2: years now. I don't think as because we continue to

808
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 2: go to school together. I don't think as we both

809
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 2: grew into the people that we.

810
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 1: Are, we it wouldn't have worked.

811
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 2: No, I mean there's nothing. I don't there's nothing wrong

812
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 2: with him.

813
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,720
Speaker 1: I I feel like baseball players are a unique breed.

814
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:15,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

815
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 1: Fact, yeah, there's just something they doubt. I don't know.

816
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 1: I mean not fifth grade, but since he went up

817
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 1: to be a professional baseball coach, I assume he played

818
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 1: and like not in college. I think high school college, Like,

819
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: I don't know, they just I can't speak to the

820
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,919
Speaker 1: ones now, but in my day growing up, they all

821
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 1: had the same esthetic and vibey and dairy nurses and

822
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,240
Speaker 1: you know those little hemp necklaces.

823
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 2: The titanium. For a while they were who were wearing

824
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 2: like titanium necklaces.

825
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, they just have a vibe.

826
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think about this now. Baseball would be

827
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:02,280
Speaker 2: like if I had to marry an athlete, Like what

828
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 2: what athlete would you marry? Because baseball, I feel like,

829
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 2: would be hard.

830
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 1: There's so many games.

831
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I would want the shortest season that makes

832
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 2: the most money, that has the smallest risk of energy.

833
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 1: Okay, injury, tennis injury or golf, golf, They're gone a lot.

834
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they're not going to really get that hurt.

835
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: But like, if you had to watch them, don't you

836
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: think like a tennis match.

837
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 2: Would be Yeah, tennis would be cool a little more fun,

838
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 2: and I think golf was also. I would get really

839
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 2: anxious because you never like people are more consistent in

840
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 2: tennis than Yeah, I don't know.

841
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:41,360
Speaker 1: I think I kick either, though I'm choosing tennis.

842
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 2: I'd rather have tennis because then they could teach me.

843
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 2: I'm more interested in also playing tennis with my husband

844
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:46,720
Speaker 2: than playing golf.

845
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you said the that your fifth grade boyfriend

846
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 1: was like, there's only two things I want in life,

847
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: it made me think of something unrelatedship, but two things

848
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 1: like too, not the quote. Not the quote, not the

849
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 1: quote another quote. Okay, this is from this is an

850
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 1: unknown I think. Okay, if I don't know, I don't

851
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: think there's a person for me to credit. But it's

852
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: that quote of there's only two people you should be

853
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: living for, and it's your eight year old self and

854
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,879
Speaker 1: your eighty year old self. Ooh, and if you can

855
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 1: make both those two people happy, then you're doing good.

856
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: Then most likely your present self will also be. Yeah.

857
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 1: So like that's who you should refer to, like when

858
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 1: you're thinking through like what you what would eight year

859
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 1: old me think of this? Or is eighty year old

860
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: me gonna think this is the right thing to do?

861
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: Like eighty year old me is thinking a lot about

862
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 1: alcohol lately in white Russians. No, just like not drinking alcohol.

863
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 1: Eight year old me is I.

864
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 2: Hope what I'm eighty, I'm still having to margarita every

865
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 2: now and then.

866
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be great in all I guess I'm

867
00:43:55,360 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 1: just like I yes, I just think my algorithm right

868
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,839
Speaker 1: now is showing me toxic things and maybe I need

869
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: to get off that and just live in la la

870
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:12,319
Speaker 1: land and be like, oh, alcohol is totally fine in moderation. Yeah,

871
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: they say that, But then those that are adamantly against it,

872
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 1: they and they're doctors and they're building a case and

873
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 1: they're like, there's no way to spend this. People like

874
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 1: to do these studies and tell you, oh, well, this

875
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 1: could be good for your heart and a glass of

876
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 1: wine a day, and they're like no, no. But then

877
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 1: you hear people that live until they're a hundred, and

878
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: it's like, what's your secret? And they're like, bacon and beer.

879
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 2: Right, and so in Italy they drink water, I mean

880
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 2: wine like. It's water like, and they're it's relatively healthy.

881
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: Their food and wine, I think is very different than America.

882
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:50,839
Speaker 2: Drink wine from Italy when I'm eighty.

883
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 1: Well, there you go, that's true.

884
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 2: I think your lifestyle probably has more to do with it.

885
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 2: I don't want to fear monger people into you're not

886
00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 2: about it.

887
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 1: I guess I'm just I'm not. I still am drinking.

888
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:03,839
Speaker 2: A lot.

889
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna.

890
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 2: Prove it, right, Oh I still drink, Yeah, I will

891
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 2: right now.

892
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,800
Speaker 1: Just not just not a white Russian ever ever, ever again?

893
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 1: Crazy to think, like I've not had a white I

894
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what why that was? Well, because it's

895
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 1: just like that's a very definitive moment of a time

896
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 1: where I remember having something and then never again.

897
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 2: Well maybe you got sick off of it and then

898
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 2: you can never I.

899
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: Did, and I don't. Also, just the memories from that

900
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 1: night are so bad. Yeah, everything about that was so bad.

901
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 2: Where did you wake up so bad?

902
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's somehow okay, everything so bad, Like

903
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:52,439
Speaker 1: I'm not ever having okay, a white Russian again, But yeah,

904
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,439
Speaker 1: I don't. You're right, I don't want to fear monger either.

905
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 1: I guess it's just when I think of eight year

906
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 1: old like I went to a stretch class for the

907
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: first time ever, like like a week ago at like,

908
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 1: oh oh where they stretch you.

909
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been wanting to do that.

910
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 1: For an hour and I ended up getting a little

911
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 1: three month membership because I want to stretch on my

912
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 1: own and I know that I'm capable. But this is

913
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 1: sort of like my kickstart, Like they're going to like

914
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:22,360
Speaker 1: kickstart me, and I'm doing that for eight year old me.

915
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,360
Speaker 1: Eight year old me, you're probably be like, why are

916
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 1: you sending money on that? This is silly, But eight

917
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 1: year old me is like, thank you.

918
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, did it hurt? Because I've been wanting to know. Okay,

919
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 2: you're probably more flexible than me, though.

920
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: I'm actually not that flexible. I'm pretty it's pretty bad. Okay,

921
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 1: my hand strings are so tight. And I learned too

922
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 1: that my achilles, who knew are so tight. They have

923
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 1: this video like camera that will take video of you

924
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: squatting and you're kind of mimicking this cartoon person and

925
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 1: then it looks like how you're like your range of

926
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 1: motion and she was like oh, oh, what's going on

927
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 1: with your ankles? Like, I don't know, I've never really

928
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:06,440
Speaker 1: thought about it. But my when she was stretching my

929
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 1: calves my achilles in my feet, like I was like,

930
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is so painful. And she's like, yeah,

931
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 1: I think this is what was being picked up on

932
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 1: the screen when you were doing the squats. But I

933
00:47:16,719 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: just never pay attention to that part of my body,

934
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: so I didn't know that it was a little needed

935
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 1: a little attention.

936
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:27,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm al shared to see what they say about me.

937
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'll say they give you a range of

938
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: like if you feel one to ten, and they're like,

939
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 1: we want you to feel like, we don't want you

940
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 1: to feel a ten, Like if it's anything pain, yeah, Like,

941
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 1: don't speak up, because that's not the goal is to

942
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 1: be in pain and power through. It's to be still

943
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 1: comfortable but like making and then you like push against

944
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 1: them and then release and that'll hopefully allow you to

945
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: push a little bit further. So you have to be active,

946
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 1: Like I kind of thought like sometimes when she kept

947
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 1: asking me to push, I'm.

948
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:57,880
Speaker 2: Like, you're supposed to stretch me.

949
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 1: This is where I just want to lay here and

950
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 1: you do it. But it did feel really good. I

951
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 1: enjoyed it so much so that I'm letting you know,

952
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 1: like I got I'll let you know after the three

953
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: months how I feel.

954
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 2: I love that you just did three months and you

955
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 2: didn't sign up for a whole year.

956
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:14,840
Speaker 1: Oh why would I do that? You signed up for

957
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 1: the whole year of Well, yeah, that was a really

958
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: good deal. Yeah, that was a really good deal. Best decision.

959
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 1: And so far the amounts of classes that I've done,

960
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 1: if you divide it by the amounts of months, have.

961
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 2: Been going like saving money?

962
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, making money?

963
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:31,919
Speaker 2: That is girl mad.

964
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 1: You're making money by making money?

965
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, Well maybe you've motivated me to go do

966
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 2: something like that.

967
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: Or I could show you some of the stretches.

968
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 2: I'm not. This is my thing. I'm not going to

969
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 2: do them. I have stretches that I should be doing

970
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 2: right now that a physical therapist has given me. I'm

971
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 2: not going to do them unless I did then when

972
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 2: I went to the physical therapist. But I can't. You

973
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 2: know how you said that sometimes you'll lay on the

974
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 2: floor and say you're gonna stretch, but then you'll just

975
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 2: lay on the floor. I won't even get on the floor. Okay, yeah, all.

976
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 1: Right, Well after all that, I still don't know the quote.

977
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 2: Well you know it. Maybe you'll think of it over

978
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 2: the next week and we'll keep everybody on their toes

979
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 2: and then you'll have it to start the next episode out.

980
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 1: If I think of it, I'm going to have to

981
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:17,280
Speaker 1: call you or text you. So we have it in writing,

982
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 1: and I know what it is text because right now

983
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: I've romanticized it that it was like, oh, gonna be

984
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 1: such a good quote. It's me life changing to the episode.

985
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 1: People probably stopped listening after she.

986
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 2: Just know the quote. I don't want to listen.

987
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: Oh, it could have been so helpful. I just know it.

988
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 1: We TVD, but a quote that we do know that

989
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 1: it is very helpful. Before we say it, I do

990
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 1: want to give our email and our phone number. Do

991
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 1: you know the phone number.

992
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:53,279
Speaker 2: Two O seven two O seven two O seven seven. No,

993
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 2: that's close eight seven seven two O seven two O

994
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 2: seven seven. Yeah, okay, that was basically it.

995
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: So you can call and leave us a voicemail eight

996
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: seven seven two A seven two A seven seven.

997
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 2: Sick sick, and then you can email us you can

998
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 2: feel things podcast.

999
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:16,280
Speaker 1: Hey there, Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast. I created

1000
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: the email I know, and then Kat also does our

1001
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:23,720
Speaker 1: newsletters too, which we have one going out next week

1002
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 1: next week, Yeah, every other week. We don't spam you.

1003
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: They're easy to digest. Oh, if I think of the quote,

1004
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 1: we could throw.

1005
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 2: It in the email. Yes, yes, that's great, that's yes, totally.

1006
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: So many people are going to sign up now.

1007
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:41,200
Speaker 2: They're like, we know, we know how to put clickbait

1008
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 2: out there.

1009
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 1: You're gonna want to know the quote that I may

1010
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: or may not come up with.

1011
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 2: It will change your life.

1012
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 1: It will change even though we don't know what it

1013
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 1: is life. Let's end on this before I share our

1014
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: ending quote that we say every episode. This also may

1015
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 1: or may not be life changing for some people. But

1016
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,400
Speaker 1: do you ever sanitize your pillow that you sleep on

1017
00:50:59,440 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 1: in anyway?

1018
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 2: I wash it?

1019
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 1: Not your pillow case, your pillow.

1020
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 2: Oh oh no, yeah, you're just trying to find other ways.

1021
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 1: No, not that not she isn't you? No?

1022
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 2: Have you always sanitized?

1023
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 1: No? I'm telling you something. I saw a little tip,

1024
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 1: a little tippy tip. Okay, and it makes sense. So

1025
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 1: with the orphanage where my kids lived, anytime you like

1026
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: once a week, they would rotate all the mattresses and

1027
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: put them out in the sun, and they would just

1028
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: lay there all day in the sun and then be

1029
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 1: time to go to bed. They didn't have to really

1030
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 1: make the beds because the kids just slept on pretty

1031
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: much bear mattresses, so it wasn't that big of a

1032
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 1: deal to move all the mattresses outside and then they

1033
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 1: would let the sun sanitize it. So I saw similarly,

1034
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:47,800
Speaker 1: we should be every so often, maybe every couple of

1035
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 1: weeks or once a month, whatever's doable for you, Like

1036
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 1: throw your pillows outside in the sun and let the

1037
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 1: sun sanitize them. I wonder what that does sanitize them well,

1038
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 1: because there's all kinds of little like mites.

1039
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 2: I'm wondering what this like. I'm just wanting to know

1040
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:13,760
Speaker 2: the science of the sun sanitizing, like baking off the mites. Oh? Gross,

1041
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 2: is she hand and put it in the dock?

1042
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 1: Oh we haven't in the dock. Well, let me look

1043
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 1: it up.

1044
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 2: I close my dock.

1045
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: I did too, but it's okay, I know.

1046
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 2: My past word. It's zero zero zero zero zero. I

1047
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 2: don't like that you said there's mites in my pillow.

1048
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna be grossed out.

1049
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm not trying to gross you out. Okay.

1050
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 1: Placing pillows in sunlight once a week naturally sterilizes them

1051
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 1: with UV rays. Research shows that ultraviolet radiation kills dust, mines, bacteria,

1052
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: and mold. Bonus, they get, this gives you cleaner sleep

1053
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 1: and clearer skin.

1054
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 2: Crazy, Okay, that's easy. Oh.

1055
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 1: Shannon also put maybe some quotes in here that she

1056
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 1: thinks might be the quote that I was trying to say. Okay,

1057
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: we train people how to treat us. Okay, we talked

1058
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 1: about that one. You you teach people how to treat

1059
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:01,880
Speaker 1: you by what you allow, what you stop, and what

1060
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 1: you reinforce. It definitely was not that many words.

1061
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 2: What you reap is what you sew.

1062
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 1: No, it wasn't that people treat you the way you

1063
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 1: allow them to treat you. Nope. The way you believe

1064
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: about and treat yourself sets the standard for others on

1065
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: how you demand to be treated.

1066
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:16,800
Speaker 2: Nope.

1067
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 1: Dang.

1068
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 2: One day, you are what you eat.

1069
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, then I'm a thin mint right about. I'm not

1070
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:30,359
Speaker 1: not a white Russian anymore, because gosh, how many years

1071
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 1: has that been.

1072
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 2: I'm an orange. I cannot stop eating oranges, right, now.

1073
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 1: You definitely are an orange and I'm a thin mint.

1074
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:42,319
Speaker 2: I don't wait your What was the hack you had

1075
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 2: the other day? You put the YAsO in the thin mint?

1076
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 2: Is that you?

1077
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:48,839
Speaker 1: Yes? I had, I'm out if I say had. I

1078
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 1: had some yasso mint chocolate chip.

1079
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 2: Which is my favorite one.

1080
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,720
Speaker 1: What are they break yogurt popsicles or ice cream pops

1081
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: So it's a popsicle. So what I did was I

1082
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 1: opened it up. I didn't even eat the whole pop

1083
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 1: squall and kind of cut it in half and put

1084
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 1: it in the freezer for next time. And then from

1085
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,879
Speaker 1: that I made I got thin mints, and I made

1086
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:12,839
Speaker 1: miniature little ice cream sandwiches thin mint with mint ice

1087
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 1: cream in the middle.

1088
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 2: That was probably I don't even like thin mints. That

1089
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 2: probably was really good.

1090
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 1: Oh it was.

1091
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 2: I love mint ice cream.

1092
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:23,160
Speaker 1: What does Deathanye Frankle say, davoon?

1093
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:32,080
Speaker 2: Do you far? No? I not the biggest. No, I'm not.

1094
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 1: I'm not. I don't know that I am either. But

1095
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 1: she does say davoon.

1096
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 2: I don't know what that means, like divine, oh davo.

1097
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 2: Is that like just her fun way of saying it,

1098
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:41,240
Speaker 2: or is that different language?

1099
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 1: Or is that like her Crown.

1100
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 2: Plain. She thinks she's saying it right. I don't know.

1101
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 1: Okay, well, we hope wherever you are, you're having the day.

1102
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:52,920
Speaker 2: You need to have. Bye bye