WEBVTT - When You Fall In Love...And He's Not Divorced Yet with Dolores Catania and Paul Connell 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:17.239 It's I Do Part two, and I'm Jennifer Wessler, one 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:19.680 of your celebrity mentors from the Real Housewives of New 0:00:19.760 --> 0:00:24.040 Jersey and the podcast to Jersey Jays. Today is going 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:26.800 to be so much fun because I'm going to connect 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:29.960 with a couple that we have that have both gone 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:33.080 through divorce and found love in each other in their 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:37.760 chapter two. My guest today, you know because you've seen 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:42.120 their love while watching Jersey Housewives. So here we go. 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.920 Please welcome my friends Dolores Catana and Paully Connell to 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:51.920 the podcast. All right, my loves Hello, Hye, hi you guys. 0:00:51.960 --> 0:00:56.280 Hi dog Dog's near? Dogs have dog? Hi baby? 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:58.360 Part of Part two? 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:02.120 Also oh right, very true? Right, this is Dogs Part two? 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.000 What was Dogs? Part one? 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:05.840 A backyard a junk yard? 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:09.600 Actually better Part two. It's a happy ending and they're 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:15.120 in love. They're in love. Listen. I mean, you guys 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:17.800 already know this, but this podcast is about second time, 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:21.080 third time. Well, if you ask my family, fourth time around, 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:24.760 my parents. But you know we're gonna talk a little 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:28.120 bit about your We're gonna call it second time around. Listen, 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:30.679 you guys met how old were you guys when you met? 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:37.240 Well, twelve. No, what was I I was fifty and 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:40.120 you were, So we're four years. 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:42.679 Apart, four years apart, younger men. 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:44.880 This is a first for me. 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:48.880 I don't right. But Paul's a man, yeah, honey. You 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:51.080 say a lot of things about Paul O'Connell. He is 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:54.080 all man. You have no feminine there's nothing feminine about 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:54.720 Paul O'Connor. 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:55.280 Man. 0:01:55.440 --> 0:02:01.400 It palls a man. Yeah, but Christopher because he typically 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:03.080 dates twenty eight year olds. 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:06.320 So let's go there, all right. So a little bit 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:09.160 you guys about relationship history. 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:13.760 That's almost something good, right, the second price that had 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:14.320 to be better. 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:16.720 Honey, this is good to our listeners. We want to know. 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:18.919 We want to know it all the good, the bad, 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:21.560 the ugly. Okay, So just tell us a little bit, 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:24.320 Polly about I'm just going to touch on it about 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:30.120 your relationship history pre Dolores and after. Well, okay, so 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:33.280 you and your wife separated, broke up, and did you 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:34.680 have what kind of Do you have a lot of 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:36.959 relationships between the time that you guys split up, in 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:38.000 the time you met Dolores? 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:42.280 Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I definitely, you know, met a bunch 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:46.400 of different people, you know, sometimes somewhat serious, not so 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:50.680 serious because you're finding yourself, right, Yeah, we can't be 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:54.440 serious till you find yourself, so by default, you know, 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:57.080 you go through these patrons of being with people and 0:02:57.080 --> 0:02:59.760 then those relationships not working out until you find the 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:00.360 right person. 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:02.880 Do you think there was something that a common thread 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:04.680 in terms of like the women that you were dating 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:09.120 that where it just didn't work out because I don't know, 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:11.840 they all dot dot dot. 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:14.239 Yeah. I think the biggest common tread was I was 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:19.720 immature really yeah, definitely, so I'm matured when I met. 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:20.200 The right person. 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:21.600 I love that. 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:26.200 Well, it's also somebody sometimes you morph into the person 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:28.800 you you kind of adopt to who you're with. Like 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:30.720 if you were with a girl who wanted to go 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:32.760 out every night and drinking every night, you're going to 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:33.320 stay in that. 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:38.040 I love that. But I'm just thinking, like, also, there 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:41.440 is there was something about Dolores from the get go 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:44.480 when you first saw her, met her. Tell us a 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:46.480 little bit about that, tell us about I think you 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:48.600 guys met in the Apple store. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:54.000 Yeah, yeah, that's so. I was a friend of ours, 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:59.320 mutual friend that introduced me by text to Dolores, and 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:03.200 she's like, my friend, is you know, recently single, and 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:04.920 is you know, would you go on a date with her? 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:08.240 And I'm like, of course, I'm like, you know, didn't 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:11.560 know what you looked like. And I honestly people keep saying, oh, 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:14.640 he's followed her. I never knew the Loris from the show. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:16.599 People say that you followed me. 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:19.800 No, because he's better, because your housewife, blah blah blah. Right, 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.440 so yeah, you followed. 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:26.040 Me, by the way, Wait a second, So Paul, had 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:26.960 you ever watched the show? 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:28.800 You know, my ex wife used to watch the show. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:30.680 I think she she liked Dolors. 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:33.279 Yeah, everyone likes Dolores Dolorius. 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:36.200 I think she you know, I used to look at 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:36.600 her and go. 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:38.640 What watch watching? 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:42.200 It was the time Carol Andmonzo threes and Judais was 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.960 turning over the tables. So I was like in and out, 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:46.840 going with the work, you know whatever. It was kids 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:48.599 running around and I couldn't understand that. I was like, 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:51.159 I don't know understand what that is. So yeah, so 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:54.640 it was obviously then I got to see a photograph 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:56.480 of Dolors and not you know, of course, I'm like, yes, 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:58.200 I would absolutely go on a date with this person. 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:03.760 And then we yeah, it's just it's a small, silly story. Ball. 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:06.000 I went to Apple store because my phone was broken. 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:08.560 We were texting at this time because there was like 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.599 a message about is all going for like a double 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:15.520 date to meet everybody? And I don't do that. I'm 0:05:15.520 --> 0:05:16.480 not going on a double date. 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:19.160 My girl, here's my nmer. 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:22.800 Dates. 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:26.640 No, no, man up baby mana. 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:29.320 She goes, here's my number, this is my pass cade. 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:31.960 I know she's She goes, here's my number if you 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:35.880 want to like reach out. So we start talking to 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:38.160 say to where my phone has broke? I have to 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:43.240 go to the Apple store. Jen, I'm not bullshit. I'm 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.680 sitting in the Apple Store at a mask on the map. 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:48.760 I couldn't. I wish the mask could just uncover my 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:53.839 whole existence. In walks this chick with hair HiT's everywhere. 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:57.960 It was like everybody in the store twants around looking 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:00.040 at her, and I can hear the bracelet jingle and 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.320 I'm like, please don't tell me that's Dolores. 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:03.880 Can get the hell out of here. 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:07.640 She walks literally, she loss right off to me and 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:10.280 she goes, hey, such a crowd. 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.400 Side get that hell, Hold on, hold on, hold on, 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:15.919 back this up. Hold on. You saw her coming and 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:20.159 you thought, let that not be Dolores my pants. Oh, 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:22.440 because she was because you were sitting there field because 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:24.880 she was so gorgeous. You're saying, you like were flustered. 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:27.120 She was a billboard for Lula Lemons. 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:31.520 They were like, I was like the body, flop box, 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:34.920 the body, the legs, like there was a I mean, 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:36.640 there was just so much going on in a moment, 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:41.080 and I'm like, sweat was dripping down the The guy 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:43.760 was like, can I help you, sir, And I'm like, yeah, 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:44.800 where's the exit I need? 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:45.920 Oh. 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:48.760 So this is for a different podcast, but I'm just 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:51.239 going to say, and Dolorus, you've heard me say this before, 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:54.599 that's the best way for my opinion, for couples to 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:57.000 start out. I like when the man just loses his 0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:01.120 I know that, so so yeah, I do too. 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:06.120 It disarmed me completely, and you know, I think kind 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:07.720 of as well for her because she was like, you know, 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:10.000 well obviously she premeditated, because you know, I was there, 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:13.360 but I didn't. But when she came in, it was 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:15.160 from that point forward, it. 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:18.240 Was just everybody feels that way. Dolores has walks in 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:25.160 a room and I don't know the air gets everybody stands. Yeah, 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:27.920 I don't know. Sucked down the room? Is that the expression? Wait, 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:29.400 don't a little bit? Tell me a little bit about 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:34.680 why you think the other relationships didn't work out, and 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:37.160 and here you are with Polly because again. 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:42.120 Not the right person, just not not a lot of 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:44.800 you know, at the end of the day, you both 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:48.360 have to want the same thing, and that's what keeps 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:51.640 it going. Not it's not always easy. But if you're 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:54.720 with the person that has the same intentions as you, 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:57.920 there's something to work through an argument, there's something to 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:01.800 work through a fight, there's you know, it's worth staying around. 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:04.360 What are the what do you guys think your common 0:08:04.360 --> 0:08:05.960 intentions are a little bit? 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:08.840 Well, we both were dating with a purpose. 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:11.640 What's your comment for a relationship? 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:15.280 Yeah, I mean long doing permanent longevity. 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:17.960 Right, Yeah, it's like it's it's you know, I know 0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:20.080 there's a lot of criticism about put a ring on 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:21.800 it and all this kind of stuff in marriage, and 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:23.200 we're getting a little bit for our ahead now, but 0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:27.920 you know that's our goal is that, regardless to the piece. 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:29.720 Of paper and regardless to the piece of jewelry, our 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:33.079 goal is to that obviously empty them. Things are all coming. 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:37.640 Yeah, you know, yeah, you got a lot of crap 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:41.400 about being married when you guys were first together. I 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:45.400 know you're divorced now, and it's funny. I had my 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.720 own opinions on it, like we're not babies anymore. And 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:52.439 for me watching Dolores, like who gives a sh Like 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:53.760 I knew you were going to get divorced. 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:57.880 The people jen are buying married men that are saying 0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:01.080 I'm still married, Like, give me a amen? 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:05.200 I know, amen, brother, they so please girls sell down? 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:07.839 Yeah yeah, no I felt like that too. I mean, 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:11.360 dol did you have any trepidation just being with a 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.440 man who was still married? I asked these questions, you guys, 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:15.800 I know that a lot of there are a lot 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:17.480 of ugers are going to listen to the podcast, but 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:20.400 a lot who who haven't watched. 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:24.920 Anybody should Yeah I did. But he had told me 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:27.960 that his divorce was going to be sooner than it was. 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:33.040 But as time went on, you know, time goes very fast. 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:37.120 I wasn't I wasn't keeping tabs. I was never going 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:41.719 to force his hand on it. Eventually, yeah, I was smart. 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:46.040 I Eventually I would have made a stand on it, 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:49.640 but it wasn't any time soon. I mean it was 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:52.280 like three years. Yeah, but you know, of course that's 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:55.160 not the ideal situation. But at our age, you're going 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:59.960 to come across things that are going to be around listen. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.200 And I agree one hundred percent, like I was when 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:07.600 Jeff and I were separated, we both had partners, other partners, 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:12.120 we were married, and we still had significant others in 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:16.600 our life, right, and so we were separated at the 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:21.000 time with the intention of getting divorced, and I didn't 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:24.199 have any I didn't feel any guilt about that. It 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:27.480 just you know, it was in my mind. Obviously things 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:29.960 did not work out that way, thank god, But in 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.080 my mind we were separated. We were two separate, single people. 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:37.000 So I don't know, and I don't I never sort 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:39.720 of ran into an instance where even when I was 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:42.360 first dating, anybody really gave a ship like as long 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:44.920 as you're separated and not living in the same house, 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:45.760 blah blah blah. 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:46.080 Right. 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:50.280 I think credit to Delores is that credits of credit 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:52.679 credits of dolorous. He took a lot of sh on 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:56.000 the chin because there was no reason for it, and 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:58.520 people will always look for a reason to like, you know, 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:02.360 put the attention on it. I didn't look at it 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:08.160 as that critical because of it. To me, it's ending 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.880 of you know, it's dissolving some paperwork, and the relationship 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:14.800 was already over. We've already moved on. We're all in 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:16.920 different parts of our life. So to me, it was 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:20.040 like the final frontier. By the end of it, Jen, 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.800 it was bothering me so much, like to the point 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.640 of that I was very you know, upset to see 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:27.280 that people would say this to the doors or come 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:29.880 after it that way because now I felt responsible, which 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.040 I should be, because I should have you know, I 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:36.000 should have cleared that up beforehand. But I wasn't at 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:38.520 a position in my life where it was that top priority. 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.280 And when I when I, when me and Dolores became 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:44.880 that that item that became a priority. It just it 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:47.160 took some distincts to take time. And I don't care 0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:49.280 if it take someone says it should really take one 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:51.240 year or two years. I don't care. It took what 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:52.600 it took, and that's what it took. 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:55.079 Well, it's not just you, you know, trying to work 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.240 it through. There's someone else in this scenario. Okay, So 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.360 fafter you guys out of it. But from what you've 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.120 been through to our listeners who might be dating someone 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:06.760 who's separated, do you think there's any absolutes like cut 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.720 it off if if this person doesn't seem to want 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:14.080 to get divorced. Is there any red flags in terms 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.040 of dating somebody who's not fully divorced. 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:19.200 If someone has no intention of getting divorced, do not 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.319 stay with that person in a serious relationship because at 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:25.520 the end of the day, this was my problem. I 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.120 had met his ex, I liked his ex. It's not 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:33.520 like this was like a real marriage. But technically, legally, 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:38.200 if something happened to Paul, I would be calling his 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:41.320 ex to get my stuff out of the house like 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:46.199 that was my biggest problem. And or God forbid, something 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:48.080 happened to Paul and there needed to be a life 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:50.680 or death decision, I wouldn't be able to had made 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:52.679 it because I wasn't his wife. Yet I'm giving him 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:56.240 my life every day, my family, my job. I'm sharing 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:59.880 my time, my youth, whatever's left of my my ab 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:03.760 with him. And at the end of the day, the 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:07.320 important important things you are not a part of. Because 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:10.400 I've been in the hospital with my mom one time, 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.440 and the person in the next room choked on a 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:16.480 hamburger and his girlfriend he had never gotten formally divorced, 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:19.560 legally divorced, and his girlfriend was thrown out of the 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:22.120 room and his ex that he had been separated with 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:27.319 for so long came in and took over. So always 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:31.640 weighed heavy on me. And that's why I say not 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:33.640 to let that drag out too long. If you're in 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:37.679 a serious relationship with someone, that has to be done. 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.600 I knew Paul was legally working on it because I 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.280 was here for the conversations. I was here for the 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:46.280 phone calls with the attorney. At one point, his attorney 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:48.800 got sick and had a heart attack, and that pushed 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.080 it off. So none of this was Paul's fault. 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:55.040 This was what was my fault initially. For getting back 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:58.439 to your question, is if you're out, you shall be out? 0:13:58.679 --> 0:13:59.959 Yeah, And he drives his feet long. 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.800 My advice is I wish I hadn't done it sooner, 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.240 not because of anything to do with my ex, but 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:10.439 because of the situation in my life. And really, if 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:14.600 you're out, get out, put the paper, and if you're serious, 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:17.000 people meet it up people. And that's the reason they 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:19.200 split up and they move on, and that's the direction 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:22.280 if you're with somebody. I think the best advice somebody 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:24.680 can have if you're with somebody who is still married, 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:27.880 as long as you, the person that you're dating, and 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:29.800 the person that they are married to are all on 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.400 the same page and you understand the process and the 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:34.760 goal is, Hey, we're getting divorced, this is my new life, 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:36.880 blah blah blah. It doesn't always work that way. If 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.200 that's the scenario, then everybody should be comfortable. Then the 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:40.880 nies on the outside shouldn't really matter. 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:42.960 First of all, that is what you just said is 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:47.400 so key, because the truth is when I was separated, 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:51.760 Jeff did not want to get divorced, and the person 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:55.520 I was with at the time knew that, and so 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.360 we would go around about that. But I think that's 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:01.840 so interesting that Delors, you know, knew that that's where 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:04.680 you were both headed. Because Dolorus, being Dolorous, of course, 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:09.160 became friendly with your ex like only Dolores could in 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:12.520 these scenarios. But knowing that you were both that everybody 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.840 was on the same page, I think that's probably huge, right. 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:17.360 That's to me, it was a big part even though, Listen, 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:20.000 there's some tricky moments to that as well, like it's 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:22.720 not a walk in the park, right, how long it's 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:25.880 been separated or not, it's still like it's it's the pressure. 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:27.120 My attorneys get involved. 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:30.640 There's money involved, and that's always obviously. 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:33.920 And then as also then there's like you as a person. 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:36.720 For Dolores, I felt guilty. I felt bad. I felt 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.560 like this is not going fast enough. 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:40.840 But I have to ask you, did you feel less 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:43.280 bad because I didn't fight with you? 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.720 Would it have been that's a great question. 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.320 Would you have done it quicker? Had I put pressure 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:50.040 on you? 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.920 No? Because I went as quick as I could actually go. 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.280 I did not. I didn't go slow because of any reason. 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:56.600 Listen. 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.600 Unfortunately, the attorney had a heart attack going to court 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:01.640 with the documents. 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:02.720 That's so crazy. 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:06.000 I was like, that's a sign, well get better, let's 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:07.920 go back at it again because we have to we 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:08.840 have to finish this, you know. 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:12.520 Actually her attorney called the hospital, called the ambulance for him. 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.200 It was a very un Yeah. 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:17.480 Yeah, so what was I going to do? Was getting fussed? 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:19.800 Well he's health now, he's yeah, he's fine, he's fine. 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:23.960 But I was I was getting frustrated, but I held 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.840 my tongue because of a couple of things. Number one 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:29.760 is pride, and I feel if I have to ask 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:31.840 someone to do the right thing, it's already too late. 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:36.680 And the other reason is because there's a lot of 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:38.720 things to fight over, and I did see that he 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:40.760 was moving along with it. 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:53.080 I love all of this, especially for our listeners. I 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:55.520 don't pretend to know what to tell people. When I 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:58.240 got separated and then back together, I told the story 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:01.440 that like the entire neighborhood, all the women, people strangers 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:03.400 started calling me to ask how that happened and how 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:04.399 I did it. I was like, I don't know how 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:06.000 I did it. I got lucky. I don't know what 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:09.879 to say. But I think that's so what you just said, 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:13.280 like Dolo about if you have to make it happen, 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.880 you know, if you're pushing through, maybe maybe that's key, 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.040 right like for those of us, for listeners who are 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.960 maybe in relationships after having been divorced or one is 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:26.800 still married to not if you're pushing, pushing, get divorced, 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:30.240 get divorced, get divorced, maybe that is a red flag if. 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:31.280 You're with somebody. 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:34.720 But also Paul, some people do need a fire lid 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:38.440 under their ass. Like, I don't blame anyone for pushing 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:39.400 that issue. 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.520 Depends on the relationship that you're coming from, the marriage 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:45.359 you're coming from. It's so it can be manipulation on 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:46.200 different side. 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:51.159 It is really, honestly so different for each couple and 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:53.600 each person. You just have to read the room. You 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:57.720 have to read. Paul wasn't shady about anything. You know 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:02.080 the guys shady at our Age Part two, Right, you're 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:06.639 being shady and if you don't, then you're in trouble 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:10.879 being out in this world not knowing. And listen to 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:13.639 your friends, Listen to your mom. My mom wasn't happy 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:17.320 to get divorced. I had friends saying he'll never get divorced. 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.320 We had very close friends. Actually, oh, he'll never get divorced. 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:24.960 He'll never marry her. I taken that in fault with 0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:27.360 him about it. But there's no way I let other 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:30.800 people's opinions define my decisions in life. 0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:34.840 Ever, Can I say something right? People say he will 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:37.920 never marry her. I don't think that's a reflect that's 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:41.040 about reflection on thelor. It's not me, I know. I 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:44.160 don't think there you know if somebody says that, why 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:46.280 would you? Why would you? What makes you believe that 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:49.000 this is probably the best woman in the world to 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:51.720 be with. She's supportive, she'll do anything for you, she 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:55.080 does everything for everybody. She doesn't want anything back. Right, So, 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.400 as as perspective, that person who's writing that or who's 0:18:58.400 --> 0:18:59.399 saying that about work. 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:01.280 It's insulting. It's insulting, dolorous. 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.920 You were stuck and you called she would so count 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:09.160 thought of it. Sometimes I'm like, uh, there there is. 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:11.800 That's why you don't listen to people, Paul, I don't 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:16.840 listen closer. Were you affected sometimes by opinions that you 0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:20.960 read and think people that called you and got you 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:25.760 worked up about things? Were you affected? I can't say 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:28.160 to you to be the way I am. I don't 0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:28.919 expect that from you. 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.679 The truth is the effect being effective is how it 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:34.320 affects you, not me. To me, I don't care about 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:36.720 reality lifestyle. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:40.160 came into this and a person that's already accomplished. I've 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:42.920 done my thing and I'm going to keep on doing it. Yeah, 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:45.280 this is her position in life, and I'm going to 0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:48.680 support that yeah or not care less, I don't really care. 0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:50.760 No, I get that, I love that, I get that. 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:53.000 It it is like insulting, like who wouldn't feel like 0:19:53.119 --> 0:19:55.320 they stepped in a golden pile of shit if they 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:59.240 get Dolores right? So like, of course you want to end. 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:01.080 Who wouldn't I love that you said that? 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:05.040 What I want to say to couples listening Part two, 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:09.520 Second time Around? There is by now a lot of 0:20:09.560 --> 0:20:12.320 people in your life that have a lot of opinions 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:16.240 about how you live your life. Because there's times you've 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:19.439 reached out when you're single and you don't have that person, 0:20:19.600 --> 0:20:21.560 so you reach out to your friends, you reach out 0:20:21.600 --> 0:20:24.440