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Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two, and I'm Jennifer Wessler, one

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Speaker 1: of your celebrity mentors from the Real Housewives of New

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Speaker 1: Jersey and the podcast to Jersey Jays. Today is going

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Speaker 1: to be so much fun because I'm going to connect

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Speaker 1: with a couple that we have that have both gone

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Speaker 1: through divorce and found love in each other in their

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Speaker 1: chapter two. My guest today, you know because you've seen

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Speaker 1: their love while watching Jersey Housewives. So here we go.

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Speaker 1: Please welcome my friends Dolores Catana and Paully Connell to

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Speaker 1: the podcast. All right, my loves Hello, Hye, hi you guys.

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Speaker 1: Hi dog Dog's near? Dogs have dog? Hi baby?

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Speaker 2: Part of Part two?

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Speaker 1: Also oh right, very true? Right, this is Dogs Part two?

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Speaker 1: What was Dogs? Part one?

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Speaker 2: A backyard a junk yard?

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Speaker 1: Actually better Part two. It's a happy ending and they're

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Speaker 1: in love. They're in love. Listen. I mean, you guys

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Speaker 1: already know this, but this podcast is about second time,

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Speaker 1: third time. Well, if you ask my family, fourth time around,

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Speaker 1: my parents. But you know we're gonna talk a little

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Speaker 1: bit about your We're gonna call it second time around. Listen,

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Speaker 1: you guys met how old were you guys when you met?

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Speaker 2: Well, twelve. No, what was I I was fifty and

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Speaker 2: you were, So we're four years.

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Speaker 1: Apart, four years apart, younger men.

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Speaker 2: This is a first for me.

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Speaker 1: I don't right. But Paul's a man, yeah, honey. You

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Speaker 1: say a lot of things about Paul O'Connell. He is

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Speaker 1: all man. You have no feminine there's nothing feminine about

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Speaker 1: Paul O'Connor.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 2: It palls a man. Yeah, but Christopher because he typically

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Speaker 2: dates twenty eight year olds.

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Speaker 1: So let's go there, all right. So a little bit

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Speaker 1: you guys about relationship history.

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Speaker 3: That's almost something good, right, the second price that had

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Speaker 3: to be better.

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Speaker 1: Honey, this is good to our listeners. We want to know.

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Speaker 1: We want to know it all the good, the bad,

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Speaker 1: the ugly. Okay, So just tell us a little bit,

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Speaker 1: Polly about I'm just going to touch on it about

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Speaker 1: your relationship history pre Dolores and after. Well, okay, so

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Speaker 1: you and your wife separated, broke up, and did you

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Speaker 1: have what kind of Do you have a lot of

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Speaker 1: relationships between the time that you guys split up, in

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Speaker 1: the time you met Dolores?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I definitely, you know, met a bunch

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Speaker 3: of different people, you know, sometimes somewhat serious, not so

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Speaker 3: serious because you're finding yourself, right, Yeah, we can't be

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Speaker 3: serious till you find yourself, so by default, you know,

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Speaker 3: you go through these patrons of being with people and

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Speaker 3: then those relationships not working out until you find the

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Speaker 3: right person.

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Speaker 1: Do you think there was something that a common thread

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Speaker 1: in terms of like the women that you were dating

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Speaker 1: that where it just didn't work out because I don't know,

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Speaker 1: they all dot dot dot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I think the biggest common tread was I was

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Speaker 3: immature really yeah, definitely, so I'm matured when I met.

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Speaker 2: The right person.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's also somebody sometimes you morph into the person

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Speaker 2: you you kind of adopt to who you're with. Like

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Speaker 2: if you were with a girl who wanted to go

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Speaker 2: out every night and drinking every night, you're going to

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Speaker 2: stay in that.

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Speaker 1: I love that. But I'm just thinking, like, also, there

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Speaker 1: is there was something about Dolores from the get go

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Speaker 1: when you first saw her, met her. Tell us a

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Speaker 1: little bit about that, tell us about I think you

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Speaker 1: guys met in the Apple store.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's so. I was a friend of ours,

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Speaker 3: mutual friend that introduced me by text to Dolores, and

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Speaker 3: she's like, my friend, is you know, recently single, and

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Speaker 3: is you know, would you go on a date with her?

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, of course, I'm like, you know, didn't

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Speaker 3: know what you looked like. And I honestly people keep saying, oh,

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Speaker 3: he's followed her. I never knew the Loris from the show.

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Speaker 2: People say that you followed me.

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Speaker 3: No, because he's better, because your housewife, blah blah blah. Right,

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Speaker 3: so yeah, you followed.

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Speaker 1: Me, by the way, Wait a second, So Paul, had

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Speaker 1: you ever watched the show?

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Speaker 3: You know, my ex wife used to watch the show.

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Speaker 3: I think she she liked Dolors.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone likes Dolores Dolorius.

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Speaker 3: I think she you know, I used to look at

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Speaker 3: her and go.

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Speaker 1: What watch watching?

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Speaker 3: It was the time Carol Andmonzo threes and Judais was

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Speaker 3: turning over the tables. So I was like in and out,

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Speaker 3: going with the work, you know whatever. It was kids

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Speaker 3: running around and I couldn't understand that. I was like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know understand what that is. So yeah, so

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Speaker 3: it was obviously then I got to see a photograph

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Speaker 3: of Dolors and not you know, of course, I'm like, yes,

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Speaker 3: I would absolutely go on a date with this person.

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Speaker 3: And then we yeah, it's just it's a small, silly story. Ball.

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Speaker 3: I went to Apple store because my phone was broken.

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Speaker 3: We were texting at this time because there was like

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Speaker 3: a message about is all going for like a double

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Speaker 3: date to meet everybody? And I don't do that. I'm

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Speaker 3: not going on a double date.

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Speaker 1: My girl, here's my nmer.

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Speaker 2: Dates.

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Speaker 1: No, no, man up baby mana.

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Speaker 3: She goes, here's my number, this is my pass cade.

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Speaker 3: I know she's She goes, here's my number if you

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Speaker 3: want to like reach out. So we start talking to

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Speaker 3: say to where my phone has broke? I have to

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Speaker 3: go to the Apple store. Jen, I'm not bullshit. I'm

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Speaker 3: sitting in the Apple Store at a mask on the map.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't. I wish the mask could just uncover my

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Speaker 3: whole existence. In walks this chick with hair HiT's everywhere.

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Speaker 3: It was like everybody in the store twants around looking

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Speaker 3: at her, and I can hear the bracelet jingle and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, please don't tell me that's Dolores.

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Speaker 1: Can get the hell out of here.

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Speaker 3: She walks literally, she loss right off to me and

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Speaker 3: she goes, hey, such a crowd.

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Speaker 1: Side get that hell, Hold on, hold on, hold on,

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Speaker 1: back this up. Hold on. You saw her coming and

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Speaker 1: you thought, let that not be Dolores my pants. Oh,

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Speaker 1: because she was because you were sitting there field because

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Speaker 1: she was so gorgeous. You're saying, you like were flustered.

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Speaker 3: She was a billboard for Lula Lemons.

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Speaker 4: They were like, I was like the body, flop box,

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Speaker 4: the body, the legs, like there was a I mean,

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Speaker 4: there was just so much going on in a moment,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like, sweat was dripping down the The guy

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Speaker 4: was like, can I help you, sir, And I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: where's the exit I need?

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: So this is for a different podcast, but I'm just

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Speaker 1: going to say, and Dolorus, you've heard me say this before,

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Speaker 1: that's the best way for my opinion, for couples to

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Speaker 1: start out. I like when the man just loses his

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Speaker 1: I know that, so so yeah, I do too.

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Speaker 3: It disarmed me completely, and you know, I think kind

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Speaker 3: of as well for her because she was like, you know,

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Speaker 3: well obviously she premeditated, because you know, I was there,

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Speaker 3: but I didn't. But when she came in, it was

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Speaker 3: from that point forward, it.

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Speaker 1: Was just everybody feels that way. Dolores has walks in

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Speaker 1: a room and I don't know the air gets everybody stands. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Sucked down the room? Is that the expression? Wait,

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Speaker 1: don't a little bit? Tell me a little bit about

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Speaker 1: why you think the other relationships didn't work out, and

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Speaker 1: and here you are with Polly because again.

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Speaker 2: Not the right person, just not not a lot of

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Speaker 2: you know, at the end of the day, you both

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Speaker 2: have to want the same thing, and that's what keeps

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Speaker 2: it going. Not it's not always easy. But if you're

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Speaker 2: with the person that has the same intentions as you,

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Speaker 2: there's something to work through an argument, there's something to

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Speaker 2: work through a fight, there's you know, it's worth staying around.

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Speaker 1: What are the what do you guys think your common

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Speaker 1: intentions are a little bit?

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Speaker 2: Well, we both were dating with a purpose.

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Speaker 3: What's your comment for a relationship?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean long doing permanent longevity.

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Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, it's like it's it's you know, I know

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Speaker 5: there's a lot of criticism about put a ring on

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Speaker 5: it and all this kind of stuff in marriage, and

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Speaker 5: we're getting a little bit for our ahead now, but

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Speaker 5: you know that's our goal is that, regardless to the piece.

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Speaker 3: Of paper and regardless to the piece of jewelry, our

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Speaker 3: goal is to that obviously empty them. Things are all coming.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, yeah, you got a lot of crap

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Speaker 1: about being married when you guys were first together. I

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Speaker 1: know you're divorced now, and it's funny. I had my

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Speaker 1: own opinions on it, like we're not babies anymore. And

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Speaker 1: for me watching Dolores, like who gives a sh Like

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Speaker 1: I knew you were going to get divorced.

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Speaker 3: The people jen are buying married men that are saying

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Speaker 3: I'm still married, Like, give me a amen?

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Speaker 2: I know, amen, brother, they so please girls sell down?

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, no I felt like that too. I mean,

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Speaker 1: dol did you have any trepidation just being with a

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Speaker 1: man who was still married? I asked these questions, you guys,

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Speaker 1: I know that a lot of there are a lot

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Speaker 1: of ugers are going to listen to the podcast, but

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Speaker 1: a lot who who haven't watched.

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Speaker 2: Anybody should Yeah I did. But he had told me

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Speaker 2: that his divorce was going to be sooner than it was.

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Speaker 2: But as time went on, you know, time goes very fast.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't I wasn't keeping tabs. I was never going

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Speaker 2: to force his hand on it. Eventually, yeah, I was smart.

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Speaker 2: I Eventually I would have made a stand on it,

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Speaker 2: but it wasn't any time soon. I mean it was

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Speaker 2: like three years. Yeah, but you know, of course that's

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Speaker 2: not the ideal situation. But at our age, you're going

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Speaker 2: to come across things that are going to be around listen.

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Speaker 1: And I agree one hundred percent, like I was when

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Speaker 1: Jeff and I were separated, we both had partners, other partners,

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Speaker 1: we were married, and we still had significant others in

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Speaker 1: our life, right, and so we were separated at the

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Speaker 1: time with the intention of getting divorced, and I didn't

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Speaker 1: have any I didn't feel any guilt about that. It

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Speaker 1: just you know, it was in my mind. Obviously things

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Speaker 1: did not work out that way, thank god, But in

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Speaker 1: my mind we were separated. We were two separate, single people.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know, and I don't I never sort

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Speaker 1: of ran into an instance where even when I was

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Speaker 1: first dating, anybody really gave a ship like as long

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Speaker 1: as you're separated and not living in the same house,

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 3: I think credit to Delores is that credits of credit

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Speaker 3: credits of dolorous. He took a lot of sh on

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Speaker 3: the chin because there was no reason for it, and

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Speaker 3: people will always look for a reason to like, you know,

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Speaker 3: put the attention on it. I didn't look at it

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Speaker 3: as that critical because of it. To me, it's ending

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Speaker 3: of you know, it's dissolving some paperwork, and the relationship

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Speaker 3: was already over. We've already moved on. We're all in

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Speaker 3: different parts of our life. So to me, it was

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Speaker 3: like the final frontier. By the end of it, Jen,

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Speaker 3: it was bothering me so much, like to the point

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Speaker 3: of that I was very you know, upset to see

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Speaker 3: that people would say this to the doors or come

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Speaker 3: after it that way because now I felt responsible, which

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Speaker 3: I should be, because I should have you know, I

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Speaker 3: should have cleared that up beforehand. But I wasn't at

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Speaker 3: a position in my life where it was that top priority.

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Speaker 3: And when I when I, when me and Dolores became

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Speaker 3: that that item that became a priority. It just it

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Speaker 3: took some distincts to take time. And I don't care

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Speaker 3: if it take someone says it should really take one

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Speaker 3: year or two years. I don't care. It took what

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Speaker 3: it took, and that's what it took.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's not just you, you know, trying to work

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Speaker 1: it through. There's someone else in this scenario. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: fafter you guys out of it. But from what you've

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Speaker 1: been through to our listeners who might be dating someone

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Speaker 1: who's separated, do you think there's any absolutes like cut

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Speaker 1: it off if if this person doesn't seem to want

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Speaker 1: to get divorced. Is there any red flags in terms

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Speaker 1: of dating somebody who's not fully divorced.

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Speaker 2: If someone has no intention of getting divorced, do not

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Speaker 2: stay with that person in a serious relationship because at

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Speaker 2: the end of the day, this was my problem. I

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Speaker 2: had met his ex, I liked his ex. It's not

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Speaker 2: like this was like a real marriage. But technically, legally,

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Speaker 2: if something happened to Paul, I would be calling his

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Speaker 2: ex to get my stuff out of the house like

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Speaker 2: that was my biggest problem. And or God forbid, something

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Speaker 2: happened to Paul and there needed to be a life

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Speaker 2: or death decision, I wouldn't be able to had made

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Speaker 2: it because I wasn't his wife. Yet I'm giving him

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Speaker 2: my life every day, my family, my job. I'm sharing

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Speaker 2: my time, my youth, whatever's left of my my ab

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Speaker 2: with him. And at the end of the day, the

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Speaker 2: important important things you are not a part of. Because

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Speaker 2: I've been in the hospital with my mom one time,

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Speaker 2: and the person in the next room choked on a

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Speaker 2: hamburger and his girlfriend he had never gotten formally divorced,

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Speaker 2: legally divorced, and his girlfriend was thrown out of the

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Speaker 2: room and his ex that he had been separated with

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Speaker 2: for so long came in and took over. So always

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Speaker 2: weighed heavy on me. And that's why I say not

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Speaker 2: to let that drag out too long. If you're in

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Speaker 2: a serious relationship with someone, that has to be done.

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Speaker 2: I knew Paul was legally working on it because I

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Speaker 2: was here for the conversations. I was here for the

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Speaker 2: phone calls with the attorney. At one point, his attorney

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Speaker 2: got sick and had a heart attack, and that pushed

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Speaker 2: it off. So none of this was Paul's fault.

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Speaker 3: This was what was my fault initially. For getting back

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Speaker 3: to your question, is if you're out, you shall be out?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And he drives his feet long.

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Speaker 3: My advice is I wish I hadn't done it sooner,

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Speaker 3: not because of anything to do with my ex, but

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Speaker 3: because of the situation in my life. And really, if

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Speaker 3: you're out, get out, put the paper, and if you're serious,

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Speaker 3: people meet it up people. And that's the reason they

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Speaker 3: split up and they move on, and that's the direction

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Speaker 3: if you're with somebody. I think the best advice somebody

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Speaker 3: can have if you're with somebody who is still married,

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Speaker 3: as long as you, the person that you're dating, and

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Speaker 3: the person that they are married to are all on

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Speaker 3: the same page and you understand the process and the

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Speaker 3: goal is, Hey, we're getting divorced, this is my new life,

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Speaker 3: blah blah blah. It doesn't always work that way. If

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Speaker 3: that's the scenario, then everybody should be comfortable. Then the

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Speaker 3: nies on the outside shouldn't really matter.

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Speaker 1: First of all, that is what you just said is

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Speaker 1: so key, because the truth is when I was separated,

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Speaker 1: Jeff did not want to get divorced, and the person

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Speaker 1: I was with at the time knew that, and so

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Speaker 1: we would go around about that. But I think that's

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Speaker 1: so interesting that Delors, you know, knew that that's where

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Speaker 1: you were both headed. Because Dolorus, being Dolorous, of course,

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Speaker 1: became friendly with your ex like only Dolores could in

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Speaker 1: these scenarios. But knowing that you were both that everybody

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Speaker 1: was on the same page, I think that's probably huge, right.

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Speaker 3: That's to me, it was a big part even though, Listen,

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Speaker 3: there's some tricky moments to that as well, like it's

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Speaker 3: not a walk in the park, right, how long it's

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Speaker 3: been separated or not, it's still like it's it's the pressure.

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Speaker 3: My attorneys get involved.

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Speaker 1: There's money involved, and that's always obviously.

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Speaker 3: And then as also then there's like you as a person.

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Speaker 3: For Dolores, I felt guilty. I felt bad. I felt

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Speaker 3: like this is not going fast enough.

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Speaker 2: But I have to ask you, did you feel less

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Speaker 2: bad because I didn't fight with you?

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Speaker 1: Would it have been that's a great question.

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Speaker 2: Would you have done it quicker? Had I put pressure

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Speaker 2: on you?

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Speaker 3: No? Because I went as quick as I could actually go.

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Speaker 3: I did not. I didn't go slow because of any reason.

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Speaker 2: Listen.

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Speaker 3: Unfortunately, the attorney had a heart attack going to court

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Speaker 3: with the documents.

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Speaker 1: That's so crazy.

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Speaker 3: I was like, that's a sign, well get better, let's

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Speaker 3: go back at it again because we have to we

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Speaker 3: have to finish this, you know.

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Speaker 2: Actually her attorney called the hospital, called the ambulance for him.

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Speaker 3: It was a very un Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so what was I going to do? Was getting fussed?

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Speaker 2: Well he's health now, he's yeah, he's fine, he's fine.

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Speaker 2: But I was I was getting frustrated, but I held

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Speaker 2: my tongue because of a couple of things. Number one

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Speaker 2: is pride, and I feel if I have to ask

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Speaker 2: someone to do the right thing, it's already too late.

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Speaker 2: And the other reason is because there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: things to fight over, and I did see that he

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Speaker 2: was moving along with it.

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Speaker 1: I love all of this, especially for our listeners. I

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Speaker 1: don't pretend to know what to tell people. When I

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Speaker 1: got separated and then back together, I told the story

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Speaker 1: that like the entire neighborhood, all the women, people strangers

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Speaker 1: started calling me to ask how that happened and how

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Speaker 1: I did it. I was like, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: I did it. I got lucky. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: to say. But I think that's so what you just said,

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Speaker 1: like Dolo about if you have to make it happen,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you're pushing through, maybe maybe that's key,

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Speaker 1: right like for those of us, for listeners who are

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Speaker 1: maybe in relationships after having been divorced or one is

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Speaker 1: still married to not if you're pushing, pushing, get divorced,

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Speaker 1: get divorced, get divorced, maybe that is a red flag if.

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Speaker 3: You're with somebody.

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Speaker 2: But also Paul, some people do need a fire lid

347
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Speaker 2: under their ass. Like, I don't blame anyone for pushing

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Speaker 2: that issue.

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Speaker 3: Depends on the relationship that you're coming from, the marriage

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Speaker 3: you're coming from. It's so it can be manipulation on

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Speaker 3: different side.

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Speaker 2: It is really, honestly so different for each couple and

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Speaker 2: each person. You just have to read the room. You

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Speaker 2: have to read. Paul wasn't shady about anything. You know

355
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Speaker 2: the guys shady at our Age Part two, Right, you're

356
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:06,639
Speaker 2: being shady and if you don't, then you're in trouble

357
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 2: being out in this world not knowing. And listen to

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Speaker 2: your friends, Listen to your mom. My mom wasn't happy

359
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,320
Speaker 2: to get divorced. I had friends saying he'll never get divorced.

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Speaker 2: We had very close friends. Actually, oh, he'll never get divorced.

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Speaker 2: He'll never marry her. I taken that in fault with

362
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Speaker 2: him about it. But there's no way I let other

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Speaker 2: people's opinions define my decisions in life.

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Speaker 3: Ever, Can I say something right? People say he will

365
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Speaker 3: never marry her. I don't think that's a reflect that's

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Speaker 3: about reflection on thelor. It's not me, I know. I

367
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Speaker 3: don't think there you know if somebody says that, why

368
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Speaker 3: would you? Why would you? What makes you believe that

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Speaker 3: this is probably the best woman in the world to

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Speaker 3: be with. She's supportive, she'll do anything for you, she

371
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 3: does everything for everybody. She doesn't want anything back. Right, So,

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Speaker 3: as as perspective, that person who's writing that or who's

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Speaker 3: saying that about work.

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Speaker 1: It's insulting. It's insulting, dolorous.

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Speaker 3: You were stuck and you called she would so count

376
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Speaker 3: thought of it. Sometimes I'm like, uh, there there is.

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Speaker 2: That's why you don't listen to people, Paul, I don't

378
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 2: listen closer. Were you affected sometimes by opinions that you

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00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 2: read and think people that called you and got you

380
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 2: worked up about things? Were you affected? I can't say

381
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Speaker 2: to you to be the way I am. I don't

382
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Speaker 2: expect that from you.

383
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Speaker 3: The truth is the effect being effective is how it

384
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,320
Speaker 3: affects you, not me. To me, I don't care about

385
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 3: reality lifestyle. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I

386
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 3: came into this and a person that's already accomplished. I've

387
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,920
Speaker 3: done my thing and I'm going to keep on doing it. Yeah,

388
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Speaker 3: this is her position in life, and I'm going to

389
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,680
Speaker 3: support that yeah or not care less, I don't really care.

390
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Speaker 1: No, I get that, I love that, I get that.

391
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Speaker 1: It it is like insulting, like who wouldn't feel like

392
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Speaker 1: they stepped in a golden pile of shit if they

393
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Speaker 1: get Dolores right? So like, of course you want to end.

394
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Speaker 1: Who wouldn't I love that you said that?

395
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Speaker 2: What I want to say to couples listening Part two,

396
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 2: Second time Around? There is by now a lot of

397
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Speaker 2: people in your life that have a lot of opinions

398
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 2: about how you live your life. Because there's times you've

399
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,439
Speaker 2: reached out when you're single and you don't have that person,

400
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 2: so you reach out to your friends, you reach out

401
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 2: to your family, and then that gives them the right

402
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 2: to weigh in on the decisions you make in your

403
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,959
Speaker 2: life because you've gone to them. So I want people

404
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 2: to also understand although people you can allow them because

405
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 2: they've been there for you to have their opinion, you

406
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,719
Speaker 2: don't have to listen to them because the real people

407
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 2: will be there in the end. You should hear them.

408
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 2: You should hear them, but they're not always right.

409
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 1: Listen, and especially if you're on your second time around

410
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 1: or your third, you know stuff now that you didn't

411
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 1: know when you were young and dumb, and you do

412
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 1: things right at our age. After you've had this life

413
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 1: experience and you've been through the pain of going through

414
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:10,639
Speaker 1: breakup or breakups right, you are wiser than ever and

415
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 1: know it's better for you than anyone else does, at

416
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,120
Speaker 1: least right. Because I had people say to me, don't

417
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 1: get back together. You haven't really tried yet. You haven't

418
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 1: put yourself out there. And I'm talking about people that

419
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: were my closer who loved me said it to me

420
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Speaker 1: out of love. But Jen, why would you do this

421
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,920
Speaker 1: yet even if it didn't work out with this first guy,

422
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 1: you haven't given yourself a chance and saying it to

423
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,479
Speaker 1: me out of again out of love and care. But

424
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: I had to trust myself and I had I knew

425
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Speaker 1: what was right for me. I might not have if

426
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 1: I was twenty five going into my first marriage.

427
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 2: You may have been wrong too, and.

428
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:51,120
Speaker 1: That would have been okay.

429
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: So if somebody who's been married for twenty five thirty

430
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 2: years is telling you, oh, maybe you should do some more, No,

431
00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 2: you aren't really out there.

432
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Speaker 3: It's them, yeah, right, but they want to live through

433
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 3: your eyes because they know that they're miserable at the end.

434
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, have like, why aren't you having a good old time? Right?

435
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 1: But right's heart?

436
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 2: Being single it's really hard, being agreed, being single as

437
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 2: a woman, it's hard being single as a man. It's

438
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 2: hard starting over, it's.

439
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 1: All of it is a bitch, It's true.

440
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 3: Honestly, I could say it is being single or being

441
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 3: with the right person. There's no comparison being single having

442
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 3: the fun. I get it. It's great you go around.

443
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 2: I bet you did day man.

444
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 4: To do.

445
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:37,880
Speaker 3: What's well?

446
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, the companion, having that person that's.

447
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: Your everything, right, nothing better than that? I agree with you.

448
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

449
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: Well, so let's just get into for a minute to

450
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,199
Speaker 1: the kids of it all. So uh different second time

451
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 1: around for you both, obviously because you have these these children,

452
00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 1: these adult children in Dolores's world, and different for you, Paul.

453
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: So how was that? Right? So was that difficult to navigate?

454
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 1: Because I know I know now that the children, no

455
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 1: big shock here, love the Dolores's kids love you, Paul,

456
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 1: and Paul's kids love you, Dolo. But was that ever hard?

457
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 1: Was that ever tricky? Was it hard because Doloreses were

458
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 1: older or because years were younger?

459
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 2: No?

460
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 3: It it was meant to be it's organic.

461
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 1: Kids never had an issue. Huh.

462
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 3: My kids love my Brooklyn and Cameron love Frankie, Gabby

463
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 3: and vice versa. It's so it's so rewarding to see

464
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 3: how well they get on and the way they like,

465
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 3: like they talk to each other and they push each

466
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 3: other open. It's so organic. But the thing about it is,

467
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 3: you square to have a really long term relationship. You

468
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 3: wouldn't think it's just like new like our relationship. They

469
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 3: look and there's in the same circle of like understanding

470
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 3: what they want in life.

471
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 2: So it's so cool.

472
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 1: How long did you guys wait to introduce each other

473
00:23:58,680 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: to your kids?

474
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 3: Actually?

475
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:01,200
Speaker 1: Really?

476
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, so you know, I mean that's I guess

477
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 2: what do you suggest wait to me introduce somebody or so?

478
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 3: I lived in the premise that keep everything away from

479
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 3: your kids, don't let them know we're still married. I

480
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 3: was still married the kid. My kids never knew me

481
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 3: to date anybody.

482
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: I never You never introduced any other up any of

483
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: the other women you were dating.

484
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 3: You can't get someone out a diner like casual. There

485
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 3: was no like hey, dad's friends coming over, right, none

486
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 3: of that. That was a mistake.

487
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 1: Interesting.

488
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 3: I do believe I tried to protect my children. But

489
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 3: they know they're not stupid? You know me now, like

490
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 3: some of the comments they made me like that seriously

491
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 3: think like come on that. But I think if you

492
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 3: tried to protect your children that actually I understand it,

493
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 3: but I don't think.

494
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: It really well. Like, would you suggest to listeners that

495
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 1: they should wait until they like obviously you guys knew

496
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: pretty quickly that it was going to get furious and

497
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: that you guys had something but other people that you date,

498
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: would you suggest to our listeners to wait if they

499
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: are I mean, is it just so individual? Is it depending.

500
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,719
Speaker 3: Upon don't forget we we'd probably been with different people, right,

501
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 3: So so the laws have been with other people for

502
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 3: a long relationships. I have been with other people, just

503
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 3: not met my kids. I chose not to do that

504
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 3: for the reason was because I taught the benefit was

505
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 3: not my children would be less damaged as you would, right.

506
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 3: I guess there's.

507
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 2: There's so much guilt.

508
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, there is so much guilt.

509
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 3: Something actually to add that. I think by doing that

510
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:43,919
Speaker 3: penalized me to not force the divorce. Interesting, because you

511
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 3: know you're living this everything's cool, this family's lives, you.

512
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 2: Know, living two lives.

513
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 3: I don't want to say I was living two lives

514
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 3: because I think that's a lot of tax in your brain.

515
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,439
Speaker 3: But I think I was living a lot.

516
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: But living interesting.

517
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,880
Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of people culturally that's say,

518
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 2: Irish people don't get divorced most a lot of Irish

519
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 2: people don't even get married. They just live together forever. Right, Well, listen, you.

520
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 3: Know you were brought up in a way to believe

521
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 3: that no matter what, you make them work.

522
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: Well, you feel like it's like you just you just

523
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: kind of compartmentalize this is right, what's going on here?

524
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 1: This is going on here? They're separate and.

525
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,919
Speaker 3: Ireland is like this size and you break up. They

526
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 3: all talk about it.

527
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 2: It's like it's like you think Irish people like are

528
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 2: very like concerned about what other people say. It's like

529
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 2: a small European I.

530
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 3: Think everybody's concerned about what everybody says.

531
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: Ireland what about so speaking of other people as well,

532
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 1: And again, I know a lot of listeners watch the show.

533
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: But in terms of meeting the X and Paul for

534
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: you with Frank the first time was that difficult? I mean,

535
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: I I know a little bit myself, but tell us

536
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 1: the listeners that don't.

537
00:26:51,920 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 2: Know, family meeting.

538
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 3: And it was about builds.

539
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 2: The kids were leaving the lights.

540
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 3: The light song, it was garbage whatever. So I walked

541
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 3: into a and found me feud get out, but I

542
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 3: was invited.

543
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 1: To get out.

544
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 2: You know, we still like, even though we're divorced, we

545
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 2: still parent together and we still are on the same page.

546
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 2: He'll call me I could brack me up on this.

547
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's like a you know, yeah, a lot

548
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 2: to understand.

549
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,479
Speaker 1: Listen. I mean, you have such a unique situation with

550
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 1: Frank Delores, and it's been obviously the topic of many

551
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: discussions and on the show and off the show. So

552
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: but do you think that that was easier for you,

553
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: Polly than because they got along so well at the beginning.

554
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 1: Was that more difficult?

555
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 3: I guess? I guess. So again, I didn't watch the show.

556
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 3: I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know who

557
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 3: Frank was to me. It was just another guy in

558
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 3: the gym pumping iron right to me. So when I

559
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 3: met him, I had to understand that he was for

560
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 3: X right. I think people like troll comments on me

561
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 3: and you know this, this this world is great insane.

562
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: People like to tell you those friends either way, close

563
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 2: friends did not want to see us all get along,

564
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: close friends waiting on both sides behind. You know, I

565
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 2: would never have allowed that they didn't win.

566
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 3: So they didn't win.

567
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 2: I know that, Paul, But like people are like bro,

568
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,120
Speaker 2: you're putting up with Bro.

569
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 3: So anyways, so it wasn't that it was hard. It

570
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,919
Speaker 3: was just very unusual. And I really and I and

571
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 3: I and I know I came off. I think it

572
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 3: was like the first time I filmed, and it was

573
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 3: like Frank needs to you know, maybe Frank needs to

574
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 3: rethink the situation, right, because I really didn't understand it.

575
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 3: But I'm not the only person that didn't understand it.

576
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 3: There's a whole audience that didn't understand this.

577
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: You're also you also get to be the person that's

578
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 1: in love with Dolores and trying so even more so

579
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 1: than the audience. You're trying to reconcile the fact that

580
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: that it's a different thing than usual.

581
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 2: But the weird thing is Paul works with his ex,

582
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: they get along, They've gone to family weddings together over

583
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 2: all these years. I don't see a big different interesting.

584
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 3: So the team was and the big thing was I

585
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 3: think Frank seeing Dolorus in a different light from her

586
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 3: pastor maybe relationships, right, and he may be seeing a

587
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 3: different trend in Dolorous, right. And I think maybe Frank's

588
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 3: and alpha male, right, And I'm kind of one of

589
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 3: the guys as well to be like, hey, listen, this

590
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 3: is you know, I'm here now, see you later. Brow

591
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 3: We're good right, right, You don't need to go and

592
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 3: stick it on my head and drink and cotails. Right,

593
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 3: We're good, right, but we can hang out. So I

594
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 3: think Frank was having a hard time knowing that the

595
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 3: dynamic of his relationship with Dolorus may change, but not

596
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 3: in a bad way, just in the normality of like,

597
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 3: you know, what's happening. And I think at that point

598
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 3: maybe we were feeding off each other and it kind

599
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 3: of got like a little bit like different because you know,

600
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 3: but at the end of the day, we're we're we're.

601
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: Okay. So how about this kind of hot spot Right now,

602
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 1: we're hearing a lot about pre nups, So I want

603
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 1: to know your thoughts on pre nups. I can just

604
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 1: let me just start out. I'll share my own thoughts.

605
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: If Jeff and I were divorced and I was getting

606
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: married again. I would absolutely have a prenup, but also

607
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: I don't even know if i'd want to get married again.

608
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: So that's whatever. Who cares, that's me. But how do

609
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 1: you guys feel?

610
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 3: Honestly, we haven't even spoke about a prenup only because

611
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not even a People say it's a

612
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 3: real conversation. Well it's really not. I mean, you you

613
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 3: go into something with that mindset, you're already you're in

614
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 3: a different place. I'm not thinking like that, are you like?

615
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,719
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying and I'm watching what's going on

616
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 3: in the world and all these things that are happening.

617
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 3: I'm not saying they're not good for you and they

618
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 3: don't protect you.

619
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 2: But you know, we're not there.

620
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 3: It's not Yeah, I mean, the biggest thing that we

621
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 3: have to figure out is you know, where we go

622
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 3: to vacationally.

623
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: That's you know, we're not we like that right now

624
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 2: that I'm good.

625
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: I've did it as partially because I mean, you both

626
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: are coming to the table very independently. You know, nobody,

627
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: You don't need one of you needs the other financially.

628
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: At least that's that's what I know. So maybe that's also,

629
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: you think that makes a difference when I.

630
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 3: Met the Laws. I'm gonna say this because I wanted

631
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 3: to be on record because this is what happen when

632
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 3: I met the Laurus. Another thing, why Frank did a

633
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 3: lot of stuff for her and I wanted her to

634
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 3: be independent of that, not because I didn't want Frank

635
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 3: doing it, because she's able to own that herself. And

636
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 3: I feel not a woman that's independent, it gets more

637
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 3: confident with in herself to be able to, like, you know,

638
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 3: just be in a moment.

639
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 2: A woman should handle their own finances. Every woman should

640
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 2: handle their things that they own. They need to understand it,

641
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 2: they really do, because God knows what it meant.

642
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: I think that is so key. I love that you're

643
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: saying that out loud. I think that is so important.

644
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: And I can tell you, yes, I could tell you.

645
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 1: Before Jeff and I got separated, he put a paper

646
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 1: in front of me and said, sign I signed. Not

647
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: that I don't and I trust Jeff implicitly, but I'm

648
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 1: an adult and I need to know factor out everything else.

649
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: It's my responsibility to know what I'm doing, what I'm signing,

650
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 1: what my finances are.

651
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 2: One hundred percent and I'm a right to know and

652
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 2: it's not wrong.

653
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: To ask, right, I think you know what and I'll

654
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 1: just I'll just say, Dolores, he said to me many times,

655
00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 1: how much you like, Paul really supported you being independent

656
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: and financially responsible, and which I think is so great,

657
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 1: you know, like that he wants that for you. And

658
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 1: I think it's easy for women to give up that power,

659
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: and it's dangerous, regardless of prenups or anything else, you know.

660
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 3: Very fous, because it also puts them on the on

661
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 3: the back. Yet, right, so spurt the moment deal or

662
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 3: anything scenario comes up, she's well capable of handling that situation.

663
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 3: More than not that she couldn't, but now she's more

664
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 3: reassured that.

665
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 1: And also, God forbid something happens, you know, if a

666
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: million years from now somebody's partner passes away or my

667
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 1: part like, I need to know what happens next.

668
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 2: You can only depend on yourself, amen. That is yeah,

669
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 2: it's not that you're me, but no, listen, I'm.

670
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 3: All for it.

671
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, listen, you guys are so on the same page

672
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 1: with so much. What do you think it is? If

673
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: you were just to name a couple of things. The

674
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: reason that your relationship works so well, like you're gonna

675
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 1: pinpoint it's this really stands out.

676
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 2: There's a there's a lot of compromise. I feel like

677
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 2: in every relationship, compromise is so important because if it's

678
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 2: just one person always bending over backwards, bending over it,

679
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,439
Speaker 2: there's always one person that does it more than the other.

680
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 2: But it has to be both give and take on both.

681
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:27,720
Speaker 2: It really does.

682
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: Like what do you think, Like give us an example,

683
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: like Dolo, tell us something that you feel like you

684
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 1: guys have compromised on.

685
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 2: The thermostat that's true?

686
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,879
Speaker 1: Is it true? The lords because you're always complaining you're

687
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,439
Speaker 1: too hot, you pour, and I'm like, it is. Jeff

688
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 1: and I fight. That's like one of the main we

689
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 1: can go to war over that. I can't take it.

690
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 2: It's war. It's war.

691
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: I don't compromise well on that.

692
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 2: It's day to day, you know, even on on the

693
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 2: things that we like to eat. There was compromise on

694
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: sometimes how we spent the holidays or you know, just listen, everything.

695
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 3: Is a compromise because it's new right.

696
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 2: He hates Italian food, but I want to eat it sometimes.

697
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 2: So all these eight five nights a week and then

698
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 2: when I finally say I want Italian food, he has

699
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 2: to go and eat with me. I don't want to eat.

700
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 1: Who hates Italian food? What does that even means? There

701
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 1: is no pasta?

702
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: Is scrup it out? I eat it. I look at

703
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 3: her and I'm going to go.

704
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: I can't. Are you serious? But no.

705
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,280
Speaker 2: But even if there were different things in our relationships

706
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 2: or our lives when we came into it that wasn't

707
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 2: ideal for us, so that we didn't love. There's certain

708
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 2: things I had to put up with, and then he would,

709
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,319
Speaker 2: you know, he would say, Okay, well you did that,

710
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,439
Speaker 2: so let me come and do this. Then I don't

711
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 2: want to it, you have to do it.

712
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 3: I believe the biggest thing is letting it go straight away.

713
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: Oh that's yeah.

714
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 3: So we so something comes up, and it could be anything,

715
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,720
Speaker 3: and it could be absolutely anything. You have that moment.

716
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: I love that because I'm stubborn and I have learned

717
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 1: to be less stubborn. It's just so much easier if

718
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 1: you can let it go. But do you think in

719
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 1: terms of the hurdles that you've had, Well, I have

720
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: two questions. First, was the show a big hurdle for you? Paul?

721
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 1: And also just outside of the show, what would you

722
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 1: say was one of the major hurdles for both of you.

723
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 3: I think for me the show was because I didn't

724
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 3: know what I was getting involved in because I never telt,

725
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 3: never taught it true because I was just for so

726
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 3: I was just like, oh, I'm just with doors having fun,

727
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 3: and then it becomes reality. You're on a TV right,

728
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 3: and you see all these things that come out and

729
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 3: you listen to all the nyes.

730
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 2: So did it was a problem for us?

731
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 3: It did play an effect because I think that emphasized

732
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 3: with the whole Frank situation. So now does it you know?

733
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 3: Then I've got these guys friends of mine, people I

734
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 3: don't even know. Oh my god, how could you let

735
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 3: this guy be in her life? So disrespectful because they

736
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 3: don't know what this scenario right, So it's like anything man, you.

737
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 2: Plan imagine talking to somebody like that who's happy going

738
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,760
Speaker 2: about their business and then you got.

739
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 3: To call Well, it's it's it's about learning, right, so

740
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 3: you have to learn the process. So the show was

741
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 3: a big learning curve to me. Now, water off my

742
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 3: back now.

743
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 2: But when it wasn't it wasn't easy. Well, it wasn't

744
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 2: easy to we piled through that.

745
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 1: Listen, the show is and I've only been a friend

746
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: of for two years. It's all encompassing. It changes, it

747
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 1: definitely changes everything.

748
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 3: The biggest part of that, as well as letting go

749
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 3: at the start, I couldn't figure out how to let

750
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 3: it go. And then as you realize, wait, this is

751
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 3: this is just the show, this is then you start.

752
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,359
Speaker 3: Then you go, Okay, actually, you know what, I think

753
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 3: the show helped has become much better couple.

754
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: Really wow, what do you think?

755
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 3: And then I'll yeah, I mean again on the outside,

756
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 3: I mean, everywhere I go, people come up to me like,

757
00:37:58,680 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 3: you know, we love the Lors, we love the low

758
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Like I FaceTime all the time of

759
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 3: people coming over to me everywhere. I'm not gonna say yeah, no,

760
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 3: it's pretty cool. And I do like it.

761
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 2: Yeah it is, I mean very good.

762
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 1: I like it too. I like to know that. I

763
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: want people to know that Dolores and I are are

764
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 1: not only friends, but such close friends. I'm very proud

765
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 1: of that.

766
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:22,760
Speaker 2: We're very close friends.

767
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 1: Tell me about you, Doris, what do is you You

768
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: think one of your biggest hurdles was.

769
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 2: Well in the relationship. Paul was very temperamental in the

770
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 2: beginning of filming regarding like what would people think what

771
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:42,799
Speaker 2: they said? I felt like he was definitely influenced by

772
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 2: something he read, saying one comment, there'll be twenty five

773
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 2: good comments in one bad comment. He would harp on.

774
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 2: So my biggest hurdle was patience for that. Yeah, it

775
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 2: really was. That was my biggest hurdle.

776
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 3: You were teaching me, you were also advising me not

777
00:38:59,320 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 3: to fall in.

778
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 2: But the fact on the other side of it, sometimes

779
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 2: I didn't think that you would.

780
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 3: I will tell you Jan, people very close were we're

781
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,919
Speaker 3: the worst of the comments done people far away I am.

782
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: I am very sad. I know that to be true,

783
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 1: and it makes me sad and confused. Really, it's depressing

784
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 1: a little bit.

785
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 3: Let's just it just goes to show you how money

786
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 3: people are really unhappy for.

787
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 2: Someone else's happiness.

788
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,399
Speaker 3: So when you see people happy, they tried to make

789
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 3: it an unhappy situation. And that's the part about the

790
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 3: second part of being I DO. When you've been trudish,

791
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,879
Speaker 3: that kind of stuff doesn't really affect you because during

792
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 3: the second problem and the.

793
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 2: Second part of I DO is the insecurity of the exes, right,

794
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:48,479
Speaker 2: they're the least threat in the room. Yeah, they're talked

795
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 2: about it old news. Keep your eye on the new

796
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 2: people around, not the exes.

797
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: I hate to say it, but I actually think that's

798
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 1: good advice.

799
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 3: That's so.

800
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 2: No them better than you get to know the ax

801
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: that no one knows the expect What does that mean?

802
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 3: Snoopy?

803
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 1: Snoopy's do you know what that means?

804
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 2: What does that mean?

805
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 1: I'm picturing Charlie Brown, me too. Know that people tell

806
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 1: me something, guys and then I'm going to let you go.

807
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 1: But and I'm sorry to ask the question because you

808
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: just get asked all the time, but I know that

809
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: listeners want to know. So you think you're going to

810
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: get probably hitched sometime soon? Do you have a time frame?

811
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 3: I mean, i'd say we have to get engaged for us, right, Yep.

812
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: I have to ask because I know what people want

813
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 1: to know. And I've heard you ask so many times.

814
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 1: It's not like you know I'm mad.

815
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 2: And I watched what hap inside these so that I said,

816
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 2: he goes, what's your goal? I said, getting married isn't

817
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 2: the goal? Peace in harmony is the goal. And I

818
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:57,240
Speaker 2: could tell you we've never been so good. No, we really,

819
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 2: I'm ready to go with it.

820
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: I any time, there's no backing out. Now. I look

821
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 1: at you guys, and I can't imagine one without the other.

822
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: But there's always like the Goldie Hawn and kur Russell

823
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,760
Speaker 1: of it, you know. I mean, look how long they've lasted.

824
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 1: People do believe in that, you know, not needing to

825
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:16,760
Speaker 1: actually sign a paper.

826
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 3: We're good and we're going to get better.

827
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 2: That's all right, Yeah, I mean what I love to say,

828
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 2: Paul's my husband. I slipped yesterday and I said that,

829
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 2: who was I talking to? I said, my husband. I'm like, oh, oh,

830
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:26,360
Speaker 2: I mean my boyfriend.

831
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 1: You know I say that. I say that sometimes to

832
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 1: Paul I'll be like, yeah, I spoke to your wife,

833
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: and maybe even to you, Dolores. It's just like for me,

834
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 1: it just makes sense. Yeah. I just couldn't love either

835
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 1: one of you any more than I do.

836
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 2: And it's a nice idle to have. But I wish

837
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 2: anybody the second time around all the best. It's so hard.

838
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 2: Be careful who you winds up with. Don't make decisions

839
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 2: at a vulnerable time. Going through divorce is very vulnerable,

840
00:41:56,040 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 2: very scary. Being single is very scary, very vulnerable. Take off,

841
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 2: you know, look at the red flags. Take off the

842
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 2: rose colored glasses.

843
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: Learn from your mistakes, learn from your age and your experiences.

844
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:14,919
Speaker 3: Oh me, don't afraid of being somewhat private with some

845
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 3: of yourself boundaries.

846
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 1: That's interesting, you know, I want to impart sure you

847
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 1: feel like this too. Frankie just got engaged and I

848
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 1: know how much you love your soon to be new

849
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 1: daughter in law. And I find myself with my kids

850
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 1: wanting to control who they're dating, seeing things that I

851
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 1: know that they don't see because they're too young to

852
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: see it. I have to give that up. That's what

853
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 1: therapy is for. I give up that control. Who knows.

854
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: I don't know everything. You know. I have to trust

855
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 1: that they're going to pick partners because it's so important

856
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: that will, you know, enrich their lives and make them

857
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,840
Speaker 1: happy and peaceful and feel good about themselves. Doesn't always

858
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 1: work though, as we all know the first time around.

859
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 1: But I want them to know what I know, and

860
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 1: they just won't and they don't. I wish I did.

861
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 1: I wish that I could go back and you know,

862
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: they can know what I know now right.

863
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 2: They need to hear it. Yeah, don't stop saying yeah,

864
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 2: well John you once you say it twice and it's

865
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 2: in their head. And when those times happen where they're like,

866
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 2: does this seem right? And then they hear your voice,

867
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 2: little voice in your head.

868
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 1: That's great. I love I love that because they both

869
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,360
Speaker 1: get really really pissed at me. They want me out

870
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,879
Speaker 1: of their business when it comes to their love life.

871
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 2: Say it and drop it, drop it.

872
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 1: Yep, thank you, both of you. I love you so much.

873
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 2: Thank you.

874
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: All right, bye you guys. So, are you in the

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00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: midst of a divorce or feeling stuck on what to

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00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 1: do when it comes to your love life, Call us

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00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 1: or email us or follow us on social All of

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00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: the information will be in the show notes. Make sure

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00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,919
Speaker 1: to rate and review the podcast. I do Part two

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00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: at iHeartRadio Podcasts, where falling in love is the main objective.

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Speaker 2: T