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Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: Hi, I'm in recovery mode.

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Speaker 1: Oh did you You didn't have a spill, did you?

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, not that old recovery. I had

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Speaker 2: a lot of people at my house for the last

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Speaker 2: week and they and a lot of action, a lot

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Speaker 2: of people, a lot of things, and I am really

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Speaker 2: I just slept probably sixteen hours on Monday and another

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Speaker 2: twelve hours yesterday, so I'm starting to feel back to myself.

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Speaker 2: I have Vegas this weekend.

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Speaker 1: Oh good, you got to prepare.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I have some new material that I have to

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Speaker 2: test out for my new tour, the High and Mighty Tour,

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Speaker 2: which starts on February thirteenth, which we've actually made some

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Speaker 2: additions to. We've added some shows. We added Los Angeles,

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Speaker 2: I will be performing at the Netflix is a Joke

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Speaker 2: Festival that's on May sixth. We added Ronert Park, California.

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Speaker 2: The pre sale is live now April third. I'll be

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Speaker 2: in Rohnert Park. And also we added Atlantic City, which

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Speaker 2: is on Balantine's Day February fourteenth. So those new shows

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Speaker 2: have just been added to my High and Mighty tour,

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Speaker 2: and my first two shows out of the gate will

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Speaker 2: be in Washington, d C. Atlantic City and then Norfolk, Virginia,

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Speaker 2: February thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth. I will see you there.

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Speaker 1: Excellent. Well, I'm excited about our guest today.

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Speaker 2: Yes, our guest today has a new album called Eulogy

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Speaker 2: Volume two and he is the host of the podcast

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Speaker 2: How We Made Your Mother. So please welcome Josh Radner.

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Speaker 3: Hi, Josh Radner, Hi, Chelsea, how are you?

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Speaker 4: I'm good? How are you doing?

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Speaker 2: You look so professorial with all of those but I

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Speaker 2: like the like the salt and pepper hair and then

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Speaker 2: the books behind you.

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Speaker 4: It's painting quite a picture.

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Speaker 3: You got just the vibe I'm going for.

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Speaker 2: You know what I was thinking on my way over

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Speaker 2: to record this podcast today. I was thinking, Oh, I'm

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Speaker 2: interviewing Josh Radner. And then I was like, how do

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Speaker 2: I know Josh? And then I was like, did Josh

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Speaker 2: and I ever sleep together?

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Speaker 3: We didn't sleep together, but we made out. I'm happy

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Speaker 3: to talk about it on the podcast.

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Speaker 2: If you want great well recording, so let's go.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, yeah, you know how we met is Matt

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Speaker 3: Bouren and Jessica Golden.

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Speaker 2: I think, oh, Jessica Golden, I remember Jessica. Do you

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Speaker 2: know where she is today? Jessica Golden?

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Speaker 3: She she wrote me a couple months ago. But remind me, no,

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm curious. I haven't seen her in years.

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Speaker 3: I haven't either, I'll have to check my texts. But

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Speaker 3: they took me to an evening that you were mceing

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Speaker 3: somewhere Melrose. What's the comedy club there?

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Speaker 4: Improv?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the Improv?

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Speaker 2: Maybe you were?

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Speaker 5: You were?

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Speaker 3: And I think it was my first season hiatus of

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Speaker 3: how I met your mother? And I had a big

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Speaker 3: long like hiatus.

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Speaker 2: Beard and yes, it's coming back to me now.

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Speaker 3: You came up to the bar and I said, great job,

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Speaker 3: and your first words to me you said you look

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Speaker 3: like a terrorist, and then you walked away. But then

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Speaker 3: later that night we ended up making out.

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Speaker 2: Oh I knew something happened.

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Speaker 4: I'm so glad. My memory isn't just shot, you.

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Speaker 5: Know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: But it was twenty years ago, and we didn't sleep together.

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Speaker 3: I do remember that.

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Speaker 4: Okay, great, well that's great information to have.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad.

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Speaker 4: And did we make out at the improverty?

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Speaker 3: No? No, no, no. You came to my little apartment

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Speaker 3: for a little while and then didn't you have a roommate?

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Speaker 2: No, Oh, I'm okay, that I might be confusing with

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Speaker 2: with someone else. Now anyway, it's great to see you again,

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Speaker 2: Serio Ages and you're now you're married.

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Speaker 4: Well, first of all, you're a musician and an actor.

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Speaker 2: I mean, forgive me for not knowing this, but I

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Speaker 2: didn't even know you were a musician. Now this is

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Speaker 2: great information to have and to spread the word.

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Speaker 4: He has a new.

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Speaker 2: Album called Eulogy Volume two. So there's a Eulogy Volume

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Speaker 2: one I'm assuming which I'm going to listen to as

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Speaker 2: soon as possible. Correct, Yeah, Okay, here's a serious question.

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Speaker 2: Who is the more annoying group of artists as a

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Speaker 2: successful actor and musician? Now that I know you're both,

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Speaker 2: who is more? Who is more annoying as a group

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Speaker 2: of artists musicians or actors?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't I don't think of I

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Speaker 3: don't classify people by their of annoyance. But I will

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Speaker 3: say that the musicians I've met, especially in Los Angeles

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Speaker 3: where I now live in Brooklyn, but the musicians I

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Speaker 3: met in LA and in Nashville, where I've spent a

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Speaker 3: lot of time have been incredibly generous cool, collaborative people.

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Speaker 3: Acting is maybe a little more like mercenary like kind

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Speaker 3: of I don't know, but I've been doing it longer,

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Speaker 3: the acting, so I'm a little more like delighted by

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Speaker 3: the newness of the music. Do you know what I'm saying?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely understand what you're saying. And I have to say

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Speaker 2: I have a couple of friends who are not they're

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Speaker 2: not out as musicians yet.

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Speaker 4: They're working on music, but they are actors.

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Speaker 2: Two of them specifically that I'm thinking of, and they

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Speaker 2: have the same exact sentiment. They're going to be coming

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Speaker 2: out with music and they're both pretty big stars, so like,

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Speaker 2: and I had no idea. I was like, wait, what

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Speaker 2: you guys and the like with that's way because we

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Speaker 2: have to get it right, you know, because yeah, so

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Speaker 2: you know, well known in these other arenas, I would

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Speaker 2: imagine the pressure is intense to get it right. But

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Speaker 2: they said the same thing about Nashville.

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Speaker 4: And they also.

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Speaker 2: Surprisingly told me that the music scene in Los Angeles

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Speaker 2: is far more not adaptable, Like it's just there's just

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Speaker 2: more go going on musically in LA than New York,

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Speaker 2: which surprised me. Would you agree with that that is true?

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Speaker 3: I have found New York. I think it's a matter

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Speaker 3: of like the venues are just a little more like

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Speaker 3: active in La so like I started playing music at

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Speaker 3: the hotel cafe, which is like an incredibly intimate you know,

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Speaker 3: there's two stages that people were so nice. I kept

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Speaker 3: getting invited to these like songwriter evenings, and I get

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Speaker 3: up and do two or three songs and meet people

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Speaker 3: who ended up becoming collaborators. It was great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that is fun. It's first of all, it's so

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Speaker 2: nice to not to have to do one thing. Not

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Speaker 2: that you have to do acting, but you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's what you were saying earlier.

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Speaker 4: I feel very aligned with that.

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Speaker 2: I like to get to do a lot of different

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Speaker 2: things because otherwise I'll get too bored.

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Speaker 4: And what I've noticed by doing a lot.

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Speaker 2: Of things, I mean, it could be add or however

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Speaker 2: you want to frame it, or it could just be

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Speaker 2: like artistic behavior, you know, like the life of an

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Speaker 2: artist is like you kind of have to spread yourself

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Speaker 2: around a little. It's not always one thing. I guess

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Speaker 2: unless your van go it was one thing. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: I'm sure he had other tricks up his sleeve too

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Speaker 2: that you probably don't know about, but I would say that,

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Speaker 2: and then the artistry kind of bleeds into each other.

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Speaker 2: Ye would you say that that's for me?

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Speaker 3: For me, it's kind of like I think about there's

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Speaker 3: just like different ideas need a different form. Like sometimes

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Speaker 3: I have an idea and I'm like, well, that's a

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Speaker 3: ninety minute story, like that's a movie. I have another

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Speaker 3: idea and I'm like, that's a four minute song. I'm

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Speaker 3: not going to get anything more. It's actually better as

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Speaker 3: a song than it would be in a larger kind

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Speaker 3: of you know what I'm saying, I.

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Speaker 2: Get a different Well, you've written, and you've written movies too,

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Speaker 2: and you wrote the Fleischmann's Fleischmann is in Trouble.

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Speaker 3: No, I didn't write that. Taffy Brotus or actinga wrote it.

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Speaker 3: I acted in that.

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Speaker 2: Oh you acted in that. Sorry, I thought you'd created that.

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Speaker 3: That's very nice of you to think that. I'll tell

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Speaker 3: Taffy you thought that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, let's just keep pretending. Let you start that room anything.

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Speaker 4: I mentioned Jaws, he also wrote and directed.

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Speaker 3: I did write Jaws. Yeah, I didn't direct Jaws. I

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Speaker 3: directed Close Encounters.

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Speaker 4: Can you imagine?

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Speaker 2: I was just I grew up on Martha's vineyard, like

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Speaker 2: in the summertime. So they actually shot that movie when

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Speaker 2: my brothers and sisters were in there, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: kids hundred ten years old. So they watched that shark

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Speaker 2: Bruce go up and down in the water in the

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Speaker 2: bay on Katama Bay, and they would not go in

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Speaker 2: the water for ten years after that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So what's your story, Josh? You're married, you have children?

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Speaker 6: Now?

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Speaker 3: No, we have a dog named Nelson who's somewhere around here.

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Speaker 2: That's a good that's a good dog's name. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: approve of that. Yeah, and are you are you planning

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Speaker 2: on having children? Are you anti children? What's your stance

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Speaker 2: on I'm not anti? Are you open minded about it?

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Speaker 2: You are? Okay? Good to know, great, just getting to

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Speaker 2: reno you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we didn't cover everything the night we met.

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Speaker 4: We do, I mean, yes, how could we have?

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Speaker 2: We were obviously we were busy. Yeah, we were busy.

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Speaker 2: I was. I'm sure I was had a serious buzz going.

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Speaker 2: Are you sober now?

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Speaker 3: I'm so. I'm like California.

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Speaker 2: Sober, meaning only weed, Is that right?

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Speaker 3: I like weed, I like psychedelics. I don't I don't drink.

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Speaker 3: I haven't had a drink in about seven or eight years.

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Speaker 3: But I like, I still like altering the consciousness. I

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Speaker 3: just don't do it with cruise anymore, you know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that seems to be the trend, you know.

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Speaker 2: I mean I still drink because I have a real

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Speaker 2: affinity for alcohol, but I definitely drink a lot less

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Speaker 2: because of all of the other good stuff available now,

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Speaker 2: like the healthier stuff. Like if you're microdosing, whether it's

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Speaker 2: psilocybin or LSD or whatever you're into, you definitely don't

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Speaker 2: drink as much as I used to do for sure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, for me, alcohol was just it just unleashed some

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Speaker 3: part of me that was not great. I also, I

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Speaker 3: don't know, I have it in my family. It just

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Speaker 3: felt like a good move to make. But I still

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Speaker 3: like I didn't have an off switch with alcohol. I

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Speaker 3: have it with everything else.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's interesting.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: That don't have an off switch with alcohol.

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Speaker 3: I was like, one is good, four is better, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, four is better. And then you get that look

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Speaker 2: in your eye, that empty, vacant look in your eye,

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Speaker 2: and you're like, it's time to take you home, sweetie. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: sometimes you're talking to yourself. You do this podcast, I'll

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Speaker 2: watch podcasts with How I Met Your Mother, you rewatch

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Speaker 2: episodes together and discuss Well.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's with one of the co creators of the show,

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Speaker 3: Craig Thomas.

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Speaker 2: I already told you you've created everything that we're going to

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Speaker 2: talk about today. Yeah, I've created cute if you want

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Speaker 2: to shout out names to other people, Yeah, going to

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Speaker 2: edit that from the podcast.

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Speaker 3: It's called How We Made Your Mother. It started because

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Speaker 3: my wife Jordana had never seen the show and she

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Speaker 3: really wanted to watch it, and I kind of felt

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Speaker 3: like ready to watch it again. I hadn't seen it

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Speaker 3: in so many years. So I called Craig, who's a

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Speaker 3: really dear friend and I love talking to him, and

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Speaker 3: I was like, do you want to do something a

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Speaker 3: little more formal and just like go through the show

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Speaker 3: and talk about it. And you know, it's a rewatch

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Speaker 3: and we don't cover it in like granular detail every episode,

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Speaker 3: but we really do talk about like the major kind

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Speaker 3: of themes of what was up. We talk about what

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Speaker 3: worked still, what didn't work, what no longer kind of works.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of like this meta thing because the whole

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Speaker 3: series was structured as this older guy looking back on

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Speaker 3: his younger years and now we're like older looking back

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Speaker 3: on this thing we made.

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Speaker 2: I know that show was that was like nine seasons. Ye. Correct,

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Speaker 2: So and you were the very first person cast in

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Speaker 2: that show. Is that accurate?

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Speaker 3: That is true? Yeah, me and Kobe Smolders were the first. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but I was the very first person who auditioned on

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Speaker 3: the very first day. That is that is true?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, that is wild. I mean nine years of

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Speaker 2: your life is such a big chunk of your life,

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Speaker 2: so big.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I always thought about it. I was like, it's

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Speaker 3: high school plus college plus one.

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Speaker 4: Year plus like a mini PhD.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, a gap year or whatever. I mean, it was

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Speaker 3: so long, and also it flies by. I mean it's

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Speaker 3: so weird. Like the thing you're describing of like wanting

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Speaker 3: to go from thing to thing. That's like a little

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Speaker 3: thing probably we share is like a little bit of

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Speaker 3: a mercurial personality, like we want to go from thing

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Speaker 3: to thing. And you never think when you get into

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Speaker 3: this industry, I'm going to be doing something for nine years.

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Speaker 3: Like that's insane, right right.

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Speaker 2: And also, in like the regular world, if you were

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Speaker 2: to go into any job, I wonder if people want

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Speaker 2: to go into a job thinking I want to be

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Speaker 2: here for nine years. You know, usually if you're really

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Speaker 2: kind of like my professional friends go to a company

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Speaker 2: and they'll be like, oh, I'll stay here for five

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Speaker 2: to six years and then I'll move on to something else.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: But I don't know if that's like a different level

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Speaker 2: of employment, you know, or if some people are just

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Speaker 2: looking for any stability whatsoever. But if you were to

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Speaker 2: go into something knowing it would last that long, I

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Speaker 2: wonder if our decisions would be the same.

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Speaker 3: Well, you have to, I mean when you test for

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Speaker 3: the pilot, I think it's still like this. You have

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Speaker 3: to sign a seven year contract, you know, so, but

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Speaker 3: statistically that never happens, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, right, But in your case, it exceeded the seven years.

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Speaker 2: But you're so grateful in that moment when you're signing

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Speaker 2: that fucking You're like, please give me seven years of

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Speaker 2: a salary. Please. You never could imagine that you would

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Speaker 2: either grow bored, and I'm not saying you did. I

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Speaker 2: just speak from my own experience that you would grow

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Speaker 2: bored or experience any sort of on Wii or you know,

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Speaker 2: like get tired of something. You think.

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Speaker 3: Well, I was like, please give me my health insurance.

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Speaker 3: Like I was, like, really wanted something to go. And

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Speaker 3: if you look at nine years of your life, any

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Speaker 3: nine year chunk, you're going to be bored, frustrated and

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Speaker 3: elate it like it's everything, you know what I mean. Like,

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Speaker 3: no one wants to hear that you had a bad

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Speaker 3: day on your hit TV show, but like, of course

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Speaker 3: you do. You know, you also have really fun days.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you had such a great cast all. I mean,

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Speaker 2: everybody in that cast is a solid, normal, mostly normal person.

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Speaker 3: I don't know them, depends on the day, but yeah,

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Speaker 3: mostly yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, of course, I mean, we are dealing with actors,

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Speaker 2: but as far as actors go, you got a good

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Speaker 2: batch to work with, that's for sure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I love Kobe Smoulders, I love Jason Siegel, I love Kaylee.

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Speaker 2: Now it says here that you struggle to separate yourself

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Speaker 2: from the role that you played, and that you struggled

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Speaker 2: with fame. Talk to me about that.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't say I struggled with separating myself from the role.

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Speaker 3: I felt like I struggled with other people not willing

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Speaker 3: or wanting to separate me from the role. You know

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Speaker 3: what I mean? I knew who I was all the time.

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Speaker 3: I knew who I you know, I knew I was

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Speaker 3: playing a role. It's like, you know, it's such a

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Speaker 3: head trip, like so many people and people watch the

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Speaker 3: show over and over. There's these people that are I

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Speaker 3: love them, but they're obsessed with the show and they

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Speaker 3: watch it over so they've spent so much time with

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Speaker 3: me as this one person. I filmed this thing, I

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Speaker 3: banked it. I've moved on with my life and I've

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Speaker 3: I don't think about that. I don't know the show

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Speaker 3: the way they know the show. I don't. I'm not

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Speaker 3: saturated in it the way they are. So when they

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Speaker 3: meet me, it's almost like I offend them by having

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Speaker 3: another life and another name and another you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean.

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Speaker 1: And it will say, of anyone we've ever had on

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Speaker 1: the show, I think you have the most thriving, like

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Speaker 1: reddit life, like you know what I mean. Like people

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Speaker 1: are out there like still having conversations about the show.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, no, it's crazy. It's wild. I was

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Speaker 3: just on Jesse Tyler Ferguson's podcast. We were just talking about,

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Speaker 3: you know, because he was on Modern Family for so long,

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Speaker 3: and we were talking about like the weirdness of people

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Speaker 3: wanting you to be that character and wanting and interpreting

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Speaker 3: everything you say and do through the lens of the character.

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Speaker 3: So it was strange. I mean I think there was

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Speaker 3: there was one level it was that, and the other

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Speaker 3: level it was just you know, the erosion of ananymity

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Speaker 3: and you know, it's it was weird. I just found

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Speaker 3: it very destabilizing. I'm used to it now, like I

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Speaker 3: know how to walk through an airport and take a

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Speaker 3: few photos of people and move on with my day.

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Speaker 3: It's not like it's not a huge deal, but like

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Speaker 3: at the time, I was really unsettled by it.

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Speaker 2: I would imagine that's true for a lot of actors.

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Speaker 2: For me, I'm like, you know, I am kind of

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Speaker 2: what I am on TV, so it's a different I'm

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Speaker 2: not playing a character, right, you know, my persona is

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Speaker 2: who I am pretty much.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 2: Luckily it's even better, I mean, hopefully it's even better

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Speaker 2: a person. But I don't struggle with that. So I'm

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Speaker 2: always curious to hear actors talk about that, because it

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Speaker 2: would be really fucking annoying for people to expect you

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Speaker 2: to be a character in the middle of the day

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Speaker 2: on a street in Los Angeles. That's really annoying.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I had a girlfriend years ago who said, man,

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00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,680
Speaker 3: you're a lot nicer when people come up and say

356
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Speaker 3: your real name and want to talk to about one

357
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,360
Speaker 3: of the movies you directed. You know, Like I just

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Speaker 3: had this weird but I've really I've made peace so

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Speaker 3: much with it, and part of it, the rewatching of

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Speaker 3: the show has brought me some peace where I remember

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Speaker 3: watching these episodes, you know, twenty years ago, and I

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Speaker 3: was so hard on myself. But now I watch it

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, you were young, you were also doing

364
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Speaker 3: a really good job and a really hard role. Like

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Speaker 3: I have a lot more compassion for myself at this

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Speaker 3: age looking back on it. I also have a lot

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Speaker 3: more understanding of why people love the show in some

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Speaker 3: weird way, Like I couldn't understand why people are so

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Speaker 3: obsessed with it. I Mean I was like, it's good,

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Speaker 3: but why have you dedicated your life to it? Like

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Speaker 3: why is it a religion? But now I get that,

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Speaker 3: Like it really teaches people something about those years, like

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Speaker 3: those twenty five to thirty five, which are really pivotal

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Speaker 3: interesting times in people's lives, you know.

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Speaker 2: Right, we're talking about the show how I Met your Mother,

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Speaker 2: and then we're talking about Josh's podcast, which is How

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Speaker 2: We Made Your Mother. It sounds like you've also done

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Speaker 2: a lot of self reflection and like probably therapy, I'm

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Speaker 2: assuming correct.

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Speaker 3: Sure. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: From everything I'm you know, was reading about you in

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Speaker 2: preparation for this interview, it sounds like you have a

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Speaker 2: a lot of like stuff you want to get out,

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Speaker 2: you know, especially with the music. It's nice to have

385
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Speaker 2: the freedom to be able to direct, to be able

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Speaker 2: to act, to be able to sing, like these guitar

387
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Speaker 2: ballads that are on your album that I was reading

388
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Speaker 2: some of the lyrics of, and it's really just a

389
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Speaker 2: testament to the creative spirit. I think, when you really

390
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 2: could do all of these things aptly and want and

391
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Speaker 2: have the desire to keep doing it and keep producing things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thanks. I mean, I you know, when I

393
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,720
Speaker 3: was in drama school, like I just wanted to do

394
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Speaker 3: an episode of Law and Order, and then you do

395
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Speaker 3: that and you're like, oh, wait, maybe I could actually

396
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Speaker 3: be on one of these shows for a while, or

397
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Speaker 3: maybe I could be on Broadway or and the you know,

398
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Speaker 3: it's hard because the carrot keeps moving. But at the

399
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Speaker 3: same time, when you do one thing, it kind of

400
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,680
Speaker 3: like unquirks this thing of like, oh, what if I

401
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 3: tried that, or what if I tried that? And I

402
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,600
Speaker 3: started writing songs with my friend Ben Lee, who's a

403
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,640
Speaker 3: great Australian songwriter. So I kind of apprenticed with this

404
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,200
Speaker 3: great songwriter. Like I took it very seriously as a craft,

405
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Speaker 3: you know. I was. I didn't like go in with

406
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Speaker 3: the producer and be like, here's three lines make a song.

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Speaker 3: Like I really tried to get under the hood of

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Speaker 3: how songs are made. And it's just been it's been

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Speaker 3: so satisfying.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's so nice to hear. Where do you think

411
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,240
Speaker 2: you find your like happiest version of yourself.

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Speaker 3: I feel like when I have my hooks and a

413
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Speaker 3: song or like a script, and there's like just like

414
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Speaker 3: a good writing day is like truly the most satisfying

415
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Speaker 3: thing for me. When you catch the wave, you know.

416
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Speaker 3: And it's not like I mean I don't mind like

417
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Speaker 3: chiseling away at something, but like when you catch a wave.

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Speaker 3: There's kind of a thing of like the afternoon walk

419
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Speaker 3: with my dog and then writing a song and my

420
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Speaker 3: wife is a psychologist, like waiting for her to come

421
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Speaker 3: down from the office and get dinner in our sweet

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Speaker 3: little neighborhood. Like like like pleasures are like small these days,

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Speaker 3: but I mean like cosmically big, but small in the

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Speaker 3: grand scheme of things. And I really liked the last

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00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 3: you know, year and a half we've been married. Is

426
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Speaker 3: just felt very sweet.

427
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Speaker 4: That's sweet.

428
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Speaker 2: I love to hear a straight man talk like this. Now,

429
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Speaker 2: what is your So your wife's a psychologist, How does

430
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Speaker 2: that play out in your marriage?

431
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Speaker 3: It's good because I'm pretty psychologically minded, you know, and

432
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Speaker 3: I can speak that language. And she really loves stories

433
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Speaker 3: and television and movies, and she has no desire to

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Speaker 3: be in front. But her story instincts are unbelievably good.

435
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 3: Like she always knows what's about to happen in something.

436
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Speaker 3: She's like always a little bit ahead of things. And

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Speaker 3: when she reads things, I really trust her eye in

438
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,760
Speaker 3: her ear like she's she's she's a great shadow collaborator

439
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:15,560
Speaker 3: in certain ways.

440
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,880
Speaker 4: I just read this term called proleptic irony.

441
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 2: Do you know what that is? When the audience knows

442
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 2: it's just what you're describing about your wife, When the

443
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,720
Speaker 2: audience knows something's going to happen in a movie or

444
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,359
Speaker 2: a book before the characters do oh, So as the

445
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,119
Speaker 2: reader or as the viewer, it's called proleptic irony. And

446
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 2: then there's another part of there's another form of irony

447
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,399
Speaker 2: which is not as relevant to this conversation. But I

448
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,840
Speaker 2: thought that was such a good thing that there was

449
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,920
Speaker 2: a term for that. I like knowing that, yeah, yeah,

450
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 2: exactly does she psychoanalyze you ever? Or is she just

451
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,359
Speaker 2: too tired from working that she doesn't have time for that?

452
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 3: Legitimately she is too tired. She doesn't. We don't. We

453
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 3: don't really do that. I mean it's more of like,

454
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 3: do you want to Like what was that? I heard

455
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,119
Speaker 3: a great thing? That was like when when someone comes

456
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,639
Speaker 3: to you and they're all worked up, you say, do

457
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,640
Speaker 3: you want a toolbox, a tissue box, or a soapbox?

458
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,440
Speaker 3: So it's like the soapbox is like you just want

459
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 3: to vent? The toolboxes do you want some help working

460
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 3: through this? And the tissue boxes like do you just

461
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 3: want to release it and let it go? And uh,

462
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 3: I think we're pretty good. Like I've had enough relationships

463
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 3: where I'm like, I don't do the fucking thing. I mean,

464
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 3: sometimes you fall into it, but like I don't get

465
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 3: in there and try to fix it, you know, but

466
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 3: a lot of times she's so she's seen you know,

467
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 3: six or seven patients in a day, and she's like

468
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 3: and on zoom right, and she is that is closed

469
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 3: for business, right. So then we're just figuring out where

470
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 3: to go to dinner.

471
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:40,240
Speaker 7: You know.

472
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's nice. It's nice to figure out where to

473
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 2: go to dinner in New York City.

474
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,199
Speaker 3: I love that we're in Fort Green, which has some

475
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 3: of the best restaurants in New York. And we went

476
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 3: to Italy on our honeymoon and we were like, I

477
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 3: mean it's good, but like it genuinely you get spoiled

478
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:55,920
Speaker 3: in New York.

479
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 2: As good as New York.

480
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 3: I mean some of it is. Yeah, you sorry, Italy.

481
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:00,400
Speaker 3: We had a great time though.

482
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 7: I know.

483
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 2: I think you're right though, Like it's kind of like Mexico.

484
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 4: You go to it like I was in like I

485
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 4: go when I was in.

486
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 2: Mexico City, I was so excited about all the food

487
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 2: and I was like, this is not what I envisioned

488
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 2: at all. And I'm like, I feel like we might

489
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 2: have better Mexican food in Los Angeles.

490
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's almost like, uh, do you remember that movie

491
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 3: John Carter. It was like it was basically like a

492
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 3: novel that George Lucas plundered for all this inspiration for

493
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 3: Star Wars, and then they made a John Carter movie

494
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,640
Speaker 3: and then everyone's like it's like a Star Wars rip off,

495
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,359
Speaker 3: and it's like, no, that was the original thing that

496
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 3: George Lucas loved. And I feel like Italian food or

497
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,400
Speaker 3: Mexican food is probably like that, where it's like that's

498
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 3: the og thing, but we like took it and made

499
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 3: it something else.

500
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, so now that's right. We've acclimated too, and

501
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 2: we're like, we think that's right, exactly exactly. Same thing

502
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 2: with pizza. You know there's that famous pizzeria in Rome.

503
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 2: Did you go to Rome on your honeymoon?

504
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 3: Well, we flew through. We were up in the north.

505
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 2: It's like called the Cemetery or something. It's everyone goes there,

506
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 2: and I went there and I was like, this is

507
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 2: really disappointing. Meanwhile, you know, you can't say anything because

508
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 2: you're like, fuck, I don't even want to sound like

509
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 2: an idiot, but I do not like this. If I

510
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 2: lived in New York, I would just be twice the

511
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 2: size of myself every night before I go to bed

512
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 2: in New York City, I have to have a piece

513
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 2: of pizza. Yeah, I hope if I lived there, I

514
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 2: wouldn't act like that, because I do want to live

515
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 2: in New York City one day. I just have to

516
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 2: wait for my hell that is Los Angeles house to

517
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 2: be done being built, which I bitch about on this

518
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,680
Speaker 2: podcast all the time, So there's no reason you shouldn't

519
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 2: be privy to it as well, Josh.

520
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 3: Fine, but also in New York you end up eating

521
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,880
Speaker 3: it like ten o'clock, like a full dinner at ten o'clock,

522
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,399
Speaker 3: and La, you're just it's a whole difference.

523
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 2: I would like to be up at ten o'clock, you

524
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Yea, And that New York would

525
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 2: even provide me that LA is Sleepyville.

526
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 3: Now, LA makes you very elderly, very quickly. You're like

527
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 3: five point thirty dinner, You're asleep at eight, you know

528
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 3: what I mean.

529
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 2: Like I said, I have to move to New York soon,

530
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,359
Speaker 2: because otherwise I will be too Like at least it's motivating.

531
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,199
Speaker 2: You're always going out and there's too much happening around

532
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 2: to not participate in some of the action In New

533
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 2: York She's just telling my friend. I'm like, I'm gonna

534
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,639
Speaker 2: have to move to New York otherwise I'll die in

535
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 2: like five or ten years because all I do when

536
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 2: I'm in LA is sleep. I honestly went to bed

537
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 2: last night at like eight forty five. I was like,

538
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 2: I took it edible, and I was like, oh, fuck it. Yeah,

539
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 2: you know, like what am I watching? Nothing important? Right now?

540
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 3: I just sold my house in La Like I'm fully

541
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 3: living in New York, Like I just closed on it

542
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 3: like three weeks ago.

543
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 4: Could you have sold my house?

544
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 2: With your house as like a little couplet.

545
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 3: Where are you staying In the meantime.

546
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 4: I'm staying currently with my friend Kat. Thank you Cat.

547
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 2: She's put up with me. We're like basically turning into

548
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 2: a lesbian couple. She cooks, she's a busy career woman.

549
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 2: She takes such good care of me. I bring nothing

550
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 2: to the table, And in terms of domesticity, I am

551
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,919
Speaker 2: as useless or as useful I should say, as an

552
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,360
Speaker 2: Astrana motorcycle when it comes to domesticity. But I provide

553
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 2: personality and I like to finance things. So that's what

554
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,479
Speaker 2: I'm good for. You know, you have to find your

555
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,120
Speaker 2: strengths in this world, and those are mine, Josh, those

556
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 2: are mine. On that note, we're going to take a

557
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 2: break and we'll be right back with Josh Rodner. And

558
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 2: we're back.

559
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 4: With Josh Radner.

560
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 2: He has a new album out called Eulogy Volume two,

561
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 2: and everything's just under your name.

562
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 4: You don't have a band's name, no, just my name.

563
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, Josh, are you ready to take some questions from

564
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 2: some callers?

565
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,879
Speaker 4: We dole out advice here like professionals.

566
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I didn't know this. Okay, Yeah, I'm surprised.

567
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 2: You're gonna love it. Everyone loves it. Yes.

568
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 1: Well, our first question is just an email. This comes

569
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 1: from Nicky. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm writing because I'm

570
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 1: struggling with a situation in my marriage and could really

571
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 1: use some outside perspective.

572
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 2: Oh perfect. We have a married man here, right exactly,

573
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,440
Speaker 2: and a married woman, Yeah, exactly.

574
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,719
Speaker 1: My husband and I have been married for ten months.

575
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 1: Eight months ago, we moved across the country for his job,

576
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: which meant I had to leave all my friends and

577
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 1: family behind. We're still adjusting to the new city and

578
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,880
Speaker 1: he now travels frequently for work. A few weeks ago,

579
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: I went to visit friends, and while I was gone,

580
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: my husband went out to a bar. I had this

581
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 1: nagging feeling and knew something was off and I got back,

582
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 1: so I ended up going through his phone. I know,

583
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 1: I know, not proud of this. What I found was

584
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: that he had texted a girl he met at the

585
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: bar around two am. He had apparently left, and he

586
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 1: was asking her to come back out to the bar,

587
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: offering to pay for her uber. It didn't seem to

588
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: go beyond texting, but the fact that he was actively

589
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 1: pursuing another woman while I was visiting friends, the friends

590
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 1: I had to leave behind because of his career, feels

591
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: like such a betrayal totally. When I confronted him, he

592
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 1: apologized and seemed genuinely sorry, But I can't shake the

593
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: feeling that he's getting more comfortable seeking attention from other women.

594
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 1: The combination of frequent travel, us being apart often, and

595
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: now this incident has my trust at an all time low.

596
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm struggling with. I hate that I felt

597
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 1: compelled to go through his phone, but my gut instinct

598
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 1: was right.

599
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 3: Now.

600
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: I'm worried he'll just get better at hiding things. I

601
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 1: also feel especially vulnerable because I'm isolated in this new

602
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,919
Speaker 1: city without my support system, and it feels like he

603
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: took advantage of the moment I left town. We're planning

604
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 1: to have a serious conversation about this, and I'm considering

605
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: couple's therapy, but I'm not sure if I'm we're reacting

606
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: or if this is as big of a red flag

607
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 1: as it feels. How do I know if this is

608
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: something we can work through or if I'm just setting

609
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: myself up to be a detective in my own marriage?

610
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 1: And how do I deal with the fact that I

611
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 1: moved my entire life for someone who might not be

612
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 1: as committed to our marriage as I thought. Thanks, Nikki,

613
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: it's a lot.

614
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 2: I would say that's a big, big.

615
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 4: Red flag and really unfortunate.

616
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 2: First of all, I'm so sorry, Nikki that you're dealing

617
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 2: with that, But I'm of the belief that, like when

618
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 2: something like that happens, it has to become such a

619
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 2: big deal to make the first time the last time.

620
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 2: You have to get into counseling right away with somebody

621
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 2: with a therapist to understand why he would even allow

622
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 2: himself to get to that place to be drunkenly texting

623
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 2: somebody at two o'clock in the morning is so disrespectful,

624
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 2: so unacceptable. You're ten months into your marriage. That is

625
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,400
Speaker 2: a huge red flag that he's doing that. And while

626
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say, like, oh god, you got to divorce him,

627
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 2: you have to immediately draw attention to the matter. There

628
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 2: have to be consequences to those kinds of actions. I

629
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 2: don't care about anyone going through anyone's phone. I mean,

630
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 2: it's not ideal, but if somebody does and they find something,

631
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 2: it's usually because if a female instinct and you want

632
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 2: to like, you're not pouring through your husband's phone all

633
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 2: day long, but now that she saw that, she's going

634
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 2: to do it again.

635
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: It's woman's intuition, Like we cannot always know. And I

636
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 1: do agree with you. I think that this is something

637
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: that they can work through. But like, get into therapy immediately,

638
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,640
Speaker 1: and this is not going to be two sessions. He's

639
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: obviously having some Peter Pan stuff about like, oh god,

640
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: I'm married now, I still want to sell my wild oats.

641
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: But like, I do think if he's committed to getting

642
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: past that, you guys can get past it.

643
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 2: Right. What do you think, Josh From the male perspective, well,

644
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 2: I think first of all, it's like a pretty insightful letter,

645
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 2: like she has some real self awareness, and I think

646
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 2: that that is terrific.

647
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 3: I hope her husband has similar kind of self awareness.

648
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 3: He might be in a fog of like you said,

649
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 3: like Peter Pan, like, I understand all that. It's like

650
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 3: women have their own version of this, but I think

651
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 3: men sometimes marriage can feel like the end of like

652
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,879
Speaker 3: hanging up some aspect of yourself that was like that

653
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 3: very energizing and fun and exciting. But in a good

654
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,719
Speaker 3: relationship all that stuff can come out to play and

655
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 3: still be active. But I think you're right, it's like

656
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 3: it's no good. I mean it's almost like live your

657
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 3: life in such a way that no one needs to

658
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,919
Speaker 3: go through your phone, Like that's a good way to be,

659
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 3: you know, like you want to feel like your public

660
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 3: face and your private face are the same, especially in

661
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 3: your marriage. I mean, if I was like keeping massive

662
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 3: secrets from my wife, I would find this marriage really

663
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 3: hard to be in. So yes, I feel like you

664
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 3: got to establish guidelines where it's like we're transparent with

665
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 3: each other, where the behavior doesn't you don't have these

666
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 3: side behaviors because you're obviously trying to escape something that's

667
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 3: a bigger issue, which is why couple's therapy is inevitable

668
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 3: for the.

669
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 2: Right couple's therapy and then individual therapy for him too,

670
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 2: because it's also really so unfair to put your partner

671
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 2: through that. To know that she has a job that

672
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 2: takes her out of town, and now every time she

673
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 2: goes out of town, this is what's going to be

674
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: on her mind instead of her being able to focus

675
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,479
Speaker 2: on her job and be, you know, the best in

676
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 2: her career that she could be, and all of the

677
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 2: goals that she wants to attain.

678
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 4: Or reach or aspire to whatever.

679
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 2: Like you're putting an onus on her now to actually

680
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 2: have to be preoccupied with your childish behavior and because

681
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 2: you're drunk at two o'clock in the.

682
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 3: Morning's l in like the mother role and him and

683
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: the child role, which is very unsexy. I would say

684
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 3: that her larger question, am I overreacting?

685
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 2: I would say no, yes, correct, we all agree that

686
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 2: you're not overreacting.

687
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: And you know, I think people don't talk enough about

688
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: how hard that first year of marriage can be. I

689
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: know in my life, like we went through probably like

690
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: two years of therapy about a year and we started

691
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: going to therapy and like, I just didn't know what

692
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: I didn't know. You know, it really helped me. It's

693
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: why I'm still married twenty years later, fifteen years later.

694
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 2: What like and what were some of the like the

695
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 2: challenges of being married in your first year.

696
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 1: Well, it's a big adjustment. Like even people I found

697
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: friends of mine who are like, well, we've been living

698
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: together forever, so it's not going to change anything. But

699
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: I think it's an expectation shift where people are like, oh,

700
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: they're going to come home at a certain time, or

701
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 1: we're gonna like, you know, no one's gonna stay up

702
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 1: watching TV, We're gonna go to bed together whatever.

703
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 2: Like little annoying. There's a lot, honestly, I mean having

704
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 2: to go to bed together every night. I mean opt

705
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 2: out of that. I think any healthy couple doesn't do

706
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 2: that every single night. Yeah, correct, obviously you can't.

707
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 3: I mean that I had some friends who've been married

708
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 3: a long time and they maintain that is their secret

709
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 3: is they go to bed.

710
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 2: They go to bed together every single night at the

711
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 2: same time. Yeah, oh wow, wow interesting. I have to

712
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 2: think about that on my drive home. I'm not so

713
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 2: sure about that.

714
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: I will also say I think one of the big

715
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 1: keys for us was, like, you know, they say never

716
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 1: go to bed angry. For us, it was like, go

717
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: to bed angry because you like maybe have had a

718
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: couple of drinks, and even if not, you're tired, you're grumpy,

719
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: You're circling the same drain over and over and over,

720
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: like go to bed. You wake up and you're like,

721
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: what were.

722
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 4: We faced, like holding off on sending that email at night? Yeah,

723
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 4: and an angry email.

724
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 2: That's like the.

725
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 3: Most like common, somewhat dumbest marital advice. Everyone says it,

726
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 3: and you're like, think about that, go to bed angry

727
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 3: sometimes and wake up and be in a better place.

728
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, But also who fucking came up with that? That

729
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 4: we have these like it's one.

730
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 2: Of those axioms of life, like don't go to bed angry.

731
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 4: It's like almost like something that you know, any idiot.

732
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 2: Could have said. And then everyone's like, yeah, let me

733
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 2: just repeat that rent cycle and repeat.

734
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

735
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 2: Do you have any rules that you and your wife

736
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 2: follow about maintaining I mean you obviously see them very

737
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 2: well balanced, Josh, and that.

738
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 3: You know, well, it's been a hard one. It hasn't

739
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 3: always been that way. My wife had she said, I

740
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 3: only have two rules, which I thought were incredibly sensible.

741
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 3: One was be kind, which I think is great, and

742
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 3: the other one when she said, don't read my journals.

743
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 3: She's kept journals like for years and years and years,

744
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 3: and she's you know, and she has a friend that

745
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 3: in the event of her untimely death, her one job

746
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 3: is to come to the apartment and get all the

747
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: journals and burn them. Like she's very sincere about, like,

748
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 3: no one is to see these. These are just for me.

749
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 4: Which only would pique my interesting.

750
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know it hasn't I honor it, but yeah, yeah,

751
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: I mean that talk about a betrayal reading somebody's journals.

752
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 4: I can't even believe people still write with their hands.

753
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 2: I had this, I had this. I got that new

754
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: Gratitude journal, and I was like, okay, I want to

755
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 2: do it in the morning and at night every night.

756
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 2: And then my friends like, oh, you could do it

757
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: on your you know, you could download the app and

758
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 2: do it on your phone.

759
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 4: I'm like I could type. I'm like I could only

760
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 4: get through.

761
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 2: You know, when you're writing now, it's like so hard

762
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 2: to write for some reason what I know and I

763
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 2: can't fit all the words. It's like my handwriting sucks now,

764
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 2: and I'm like, if I type it, I get so

765
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 2: much more in then I want to list ten things

766
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 2: instead of three things you know that made today great,

767
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 2: et cetera.

768
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 4: So yeah, I'm all about the phone. Now I've given up.

769
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 2: We're living through the technology age and now we're living

770
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 2: through the artificial insemination and intelligency. Two things I don't

771
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 2: want anything to do is I don't want to deal

772
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 2: with AI.

773
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: Well, our next email comes from Ali. She is calling

774
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: in so she says, my name is Ali. I'm thirty two,

775
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: and my brother thirty one, is my best friend. Don't worry.

776
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: I have other friends, like a healthy number, but for

777
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 1: a lot of reasons, including complex family dynamics, our shared

778
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: dark sense of humor, and the bond we formed caring

779
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: for our grandma during her dementia years, He's been the

780
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: most important relationship in my life for a long time.

781
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: Here's where it gets tricky. In the past year, he's

782
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 1: entered a serious relationship. I've known this girlfriend for years

783
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: and I think she's lovely. This isn't one of those

784
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: I hate my brother's girlfriend situations.

785
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 2: Sounds like it's going.

786
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 1: To be, though, but something about it just isn't fully

787
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: clicking for me emotionally. It's not jealousy and it's not drama.

788
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,959
Speaker 1: It's just change, and apparently I'm not thriving in it.

789
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: We live next door to each other, because of course

790
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: we do, and I'm realizing I've built a little too

791
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 1: much of my identity around this brother bestie dynamic. Most

792
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: of my other close friends are getting married, having babies,

793
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: or moving on to new life phases. And while I'm

794
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: good with my own path, I think I need more

795
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: tools to invest in me again. So how do I

796
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 1: begin to lovingly create space between me and my brother,

797
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: who is again still my favorite person, without feeling like

798
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm pushing him away. I don't want to be weird

799
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: or dramatic. I just want some practical, emotionally intelligent action

800
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 1: items for carving out a little independence without breaking the bond. Ali.

801
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 2: Hi, Ali, this is our special guest today, Josh Radner. Hi,

802
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 2: nice to meet you.

803
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 4: And that's so sweet that you're best friends with your brother.

804
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 2: I love that.

805
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 4: That's really nice.

806
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 2: I understand that you're dealing with change, but you know what,

807
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 2: Listen This is not like everyone has problems with change.

808
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 2: I mean not everybody, but so many people have problems

809
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 2: with change. I have problems with making adjustments. And actually,

810
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 2: you know, having somebody else come in, even if your

811
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 2: best friend wasn't your brother, you would it would probably

812
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 2: be hard for you for your best friend to have

813
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 2: a relationship and being introduced to them. So give yourself

814
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 2: a little bit of grace and I would just whatever

815
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 2: you're into, just like exercise more of those activities. Like literally,

816
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 2: like if you're into pilates, make sure that you're allotting

817
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 2: time for that. Make sure you're allotting time for your friends.

818
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 2: You have friends, I'm assuming I have a.

819
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 7: Lot of friends. I go to prelatis every day. I

820
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:00,959
Speaker 7: do pottery.

821
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 2: You created that, yeah, and you have hobbies you like pottery.

822
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 6: It's more like, like I said, I like love his girlfriend.

823
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 7: I think she's fantastic.

824
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 6: I just realized, like when he got into the relationship

825
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 6: that my identity was like more closely tied, and like

826
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,439
Speaker 6: right now it's fantastic and amazing. Everybody's out here. There's

827
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,720
Speaker 6: like a lot going on, but in the off season,

828
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 6: there's not a lot to going on, you know.

829
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 7: It's like small town.

830
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 6: You know everyone, it's very condensed and like everyone's in

831
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 6: each other's business.

832
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 2: And do you feel like during those winter months when

833
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 2: it is a collieter that you are encroaching on their

834
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 2: private life, like because I don't think your identity is

835
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,359
Speaker 2: tied to your brother unless you actively like your brother

836
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 2: and sister, that's not going to change.

837
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, we're very much in the same like social circle too,

838
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 6: And I just like I felt like, oh my god,

839
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 6: like I don't need to be like i'd be lying

840
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 6: with his.

841
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 7: Girlfriends all the time. Like it was just like I

842
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 7: just want to be like chill and cool and like

843
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 7: I don't know, I don't know.

844
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 6: It's it's like I don't I don't know if there's

845
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 6: like a correct answer or like even like a piece

846
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 6: of advice.

847
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 3: Can I offer something Ali perhaps, Like my wife has

848
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 3: this theory that like if we're a solar system, like

849
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 3: and you're this son, your brother was like Mercury, but

850
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 3: he might have to be Venus, like he might have

851
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 3: to like go like one planet away, you know, where

852
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 3: it's like you're still in relationship, you're still in the

853
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 3: same solar system. And I think when people partner off

854
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 3: dynamics have to change because the primary relationship is like

855
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 3: the relationship.

856
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, I love her analogies.

857
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:46,919
Speaker 3: Isn't that cool? I do? There's like a really cool

858
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 3: opportunity for you to, like what Chelsea said, like lean

859
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 3: into other stuff, grow other parts of yourself, also grow

860
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 3: other friendships, and you know, just follow the seeds. And

861
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 3: then I think your relationship with your brother will like

862
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,399
Speaker 3: take its new place the solar system, and it'll start

863
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 3: to feel right. But you're just in the like adjustment

864
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 3: change period, which is yeah.

865
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 7: Itunds like a meteor like yeah around.

866
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're like in the liminal phase.

867
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 2: That's what that is, right where you're kind of in

868
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 2: between two things. But also just you know, like in

869
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 2: thinking about it in thoughts like towards your brother, towards

870
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:19,919
Speaker 2: his girlfriend.

871
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 4: How long have they been together?

872
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 7: Like over a year?

873
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,240
Speaker 2: Okay? Just I would say, like lead with your heart

874
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 2: and lead with love, like don't overthink things too much.

875
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 2: Don't think, oh my god, am I spending too much

876
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 2: time here? Like you can have those thoughts, but don't

877
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 2: overanalyze your relationship because it is your brother. You do

878
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 2: have a relationship. It sounds like you have a pretty

879
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 2: healthy relationship with his girlfriend. You know that you're gonna

880
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 2: like try and grow these other parts, that's Josh said,

881
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 2: very eloquently, grow these other parts of yourself, but also

882
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 2: just lead with love, like don't punish anyone for these circumstances,

883
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 2: and don't make it like you know, oh I'm gonna

884
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna be available to them, because I don't

885
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 2: want them to think I'm too available, like I have.

886
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 4: My own life, Like, don't play games like that.

887
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 2: Just lead with your heart and really try and be

888
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 2: as present as possible when you're with both of them,

889
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 2: because like what Josh said, I want to echo like

890
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,359
Speaker 2: there is a new version of this coming around, and

891
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 2: it's in these in between stages that get so sticky,

892
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 2: I think for all of us when we don't know

893
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 2: where you know, what we knew is not exactly right anymore,

894
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 2: and what's to come isn't exactly happening yet, so we

895
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 2: kind of get stuck. And it's actually a really nice

896
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 2: phase for you to really get in touch with yourself

897
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 2: and really be present in the relationship and show up

898
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,280
Speaker 2: like heart forward, love first and totally with no judgment

899
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 2: towards yourself or them. Yeah, okay to practice that. Yeah, okay, well,

900
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 2: thanks for calling in. I love that question and I

901
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 2: love Josh's answer, and I feel like, yeah, good, good,

902
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 2: good luck with everything.

903
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 7: Thank you, and good luck with whatever you're promoting. Josh

904
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 7: can't wait to listen to the episode.

905
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 2: And he got a new album out.

906
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 4: And he's got a new album out.

907
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 2: You can download yes, yeah on.

908
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 7: Spotify right now or download on iTunes.

909
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's called.

910
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:05,760
Speaker 2: Eulogy Eulogy Volume two by Josh Radner. You could download

911
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 2: it anywhere.

912
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, okay, amazing, Well, thanks great, Thanks Sally.

913
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 2: Your new album is going to get her into her

914
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 2: Venus dynamic with her brother. She's gonna end up sleeping

915
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,919
Speaker 2: with her brother. Watch what this podcast leads to. Oh well.

916
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 1: Our last question today comes from Stephanie and she is

917
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: forty eight. She says, Dear Chelsea, I recently started working

918
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: for a smallish local business. My friend connected me with

919
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,800
Speaker 1: the owner and we instantly had a connection even before

920
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 1: we met in person. Once we met in person, it

921
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:41,560
Speaker 1: was even more intoxicating. Nothing inappropriate has happened, but over

922
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 1: the last five months I have just crushed so hard

923
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: it goes in waves where he I think flirts with

924
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 1: me and then stops. We really get along and just mesh.

925
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: I think constantly that I just want to make out

926
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: with him. It's to the point where we're passing friendly,

927
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 1: work appropriate touches. We text each other randomly, almost just

928
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: to let the other know the other one. No, we're

929
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,919
Speaker 1: thinking about each other without actually saying it. I've never

930
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 1: in my life been this drawn to someone so magnetically.

931
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: He even gave me a plant. If that wasn't a sign,

932
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: I don't know what is. I mean, a love fern?

933
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 1: Who does that? I don't want to get fired. I

934
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 1: don't think he would, but I also don't want to

935
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: quit because I love my job. How can I just

936
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 1: make out with him?

937
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 2: Just do it already?

938
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 5: What?

939
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, Stephanie, this is our special guest today, Josh Radnor.

940
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 2: Say hello to him.

941
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 3: Hi, Hi, gosh, Hi.

942
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 2: Look you look like you're like having an affair sitting

943
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 2: there like you act like you're doing something terribly wrong.

944
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 4: What kind of work do you do?

945
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 7: That?

946
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 2: This is so? I mean, honestly, I feel like work

947
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:42,320
Speaker 2: romances are just you know, unless there's some huge power dynamic,

948
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 2: there's really nothing wrong with them.

949
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 5: So I am an operations director for a small ish company.

950
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 5: But I work very closely with the own.

951
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 3: And can I ask though the owner he's not married,

952
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 3: he's single, Yeah, he is single.

953
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 2: He's divorced. Okay, so he's still single. Yes, okay, So

954
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 2: I think you need to make your move, sister, Like

955
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 2: five months, what do you do?

956
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 1: You can't make the move, right, he.

957
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 2: Can't make the move, He's right, So you're gonna have

958
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 2: to let him know how you feel and also give

959
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,800
Speaker 2: him an exit in case he doesn't have the same feelings.

960
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 4: But you got to do it.

961
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: You're a woman. You have to be brave and be

962
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,240
Speaker 2: a woman. What if this is the love of your life?

963
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 5: I know, and honestly so, I had told Catherine that

964
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 5: I am divorced. I've been divorced for eight years and

965
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 5: never during this eight years have I found interest in

966
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 5: not one person. And so my friends are just like,

967
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 5: oh my god, like of all people, of course, you're

968
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 5: like in love with your boss, like why is this happening?

969
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 5: But I'm just not brave, and I guess I need

970
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 5: like more reassurance. I'm worried that our dynamic will change

971
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 5: if for some reason it didn't work out or I

972
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 5: also don't want to be rejected.

973
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 4: I don't know, but yes, you got to get rid

974
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 4: of the rejection part.

975
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 2: That's part of life. And if you don't want to

976
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: be rejected, then then then you almost don't deserve to

977
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 2: be in love because you have to experience rejection. That's

978
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 2: just the way it goes. You can't be afraid of it.

979
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 2: It doesn't make you less of a woman, It doesn't

980
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 2: make you less of a person, It doesn't make you

981
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 2: less valuable. It just means that that person and you

982
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 2: aren't a perfect match. That's okay. You're not going to

983
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 2: be a perfect match with most.

984
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 4: People that you meet.

985
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's true. Can you do something cute like

986
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 2: slip him an email or slip a little note on

987
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,760
Speaker 2: his desk ask him to meet for a drink?

988
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 4: Like is there something that you feel.

989
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 2: More comfortable doing in order to just get the message across, Like, Hey,

990
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 2: do you want to meet for a drink later tonight?

991
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 2: I think there you'll get an answer to that real quick.

992
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 2: That'll give you an indication.

993
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 5: Also, so he stopped drinking, and so that was one

994
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 5: thing that we would we would go do we would

995
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 5: go out for drinks or like one time I was

996
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 5: telling him how I love a martini, but I wanted

997
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 5: to try the specific martini. Well, then all of a

998
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 5: sudden he brought all this stuff to make that. But

999
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 5: like now he's not drinking, which is fine, but that

1000
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 5: kind of just changes the dynamics a little bit, and

1001
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:11,919
Speaker 5: so that makes it harder because I'm always like, let's

1002
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 5: just have a drink. But then also I'm like, Okay,

1003
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 5: you're on your sober journey, so.

1004
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 1: Can I ask Josh here? So you've been on the

1005
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: sober journey for a long time, Like what's the dynamic

1006
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 1: of like asking somebody to.

1007
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 2: Go for a drink?

1008
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: Can you go somewhere that has five mocktails to choose from?

1009
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just get a bitters and soda or a

1010
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 3: club soda. Like I like being in bars. I don't

1011
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 3: mind being in bars at all, you know, I think

1012
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 3: like in terms of being bold, something like, hey, I

1013
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 3: really like our dynamic. I really like the notes and

1014
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,879
Speaker 3: the you know, whatever you guys are doing, and say

1015
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 3: I don't want that to change. I was just wondering,

1016
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 3: like if we could maybe work in like a little

1017
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 3: bit of making out and just see what that's like.

1018
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 5: That's all I want to do I just want to

1019
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 5: make out with him, Yeah, and then we'll go from there,

1020
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 5: just like, let me just make out with you one time,

1021
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 5: and then maybe he hates it, maybe I hate and

1022
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 5: then problem solved.

1023
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 3: Right. But I think also there's a there's a trick

1024
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 3: in creative writing where they're like, I don't know how

1025
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 3: to start this story, and they're like, well, tell me

1026
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 3: the story, and then you tell them the story, and

1027
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 3: you're like, that's it. That's that's how you tell the story. Like,

1028
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 3: that's how you write the story. So everything you said

1029
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 3: in the letter is like I really like this guy,

1030
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 3: really like our dynamic. I just would really like to

1031
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: make out with him, but I don't know how to

1032
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 3: broach it. I think that's what you say.

1033
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,879
Speaker 5: I love it, yeah, because all my guy friends are like,

1034
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 5: he's giving you so much and you're not responding to

1035
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 5: like the thing like if he says something to like

1036
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 5: today he was like, I'm wearing my favorite jeans that

1037
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 5: they're Vengeance Levis that I loved finding, and he's like,

1038
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 5: I like your I like your jeans, and I'm just

1039
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 5: like it's like it's clear he's flirting with me, but

1040
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, thank you, like I don't I'm.

1041
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 4: Just but just you just need to go for it.

1042
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 2: Go for it. What's the worst thing that could happen.

1043
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 2: He could say he's not interested. It sounds like he

1044
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 2: is interested, and he's it sounds like he's not in

1045
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 2: a position to make a move on you because he

1046
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 2: is the owner of the business. So think about those

1047
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 2: two things and send him a cute note. Send him

1048
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 2: what Josh said, Send him something like, I know you

1049
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 2: stop drinking. Any chance you want to come and watch

1050
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 2: me have a drink, So you could say anything cute.

1051
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 2: That's going to be that even if it's gets rejected,

1052
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 2: which is also a step towards getting closer to your goals.

1053
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: I believe even if this guy rejects you, I know

1054
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 2: you haven't been attracted to anyone in eight years, you

1055
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 2: will be again. You will be hopefully this is the guy.

1056
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 2: But in case it, you know, like you have to

1057
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 2: be you got it.

1058
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 4: You're stronger than that. That's silly, you know what I mean?

1059
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 2: Like rejection is whatever, And there's a lot of flirting

1060
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 2: going on, so there's like proof in the pudding, and

1061
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 2: you need to capitalize on this moment because what if

1062
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: someone else comes along and is willing to capitalize on

1063
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 2: the moment, like you.

1064
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 4: Got to jump in there.

1065
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 3: But also like rejection is good information because you can

1066
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 3: move on with your life, like it's good to know,

1067
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 3: and also it's it's win win the rejection. I think.

1068
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 3: I think what Chelsea's saying is right.

1069
00:44:58,880 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1070
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we're gonna need you to do something and

1071
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 2: report back to us.

1072
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 4: Okay, I will for sure.

1073
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to give you one week and then

1074
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 2: you have to call Catherine and let her know what happens.

1075
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 2: Now I'm serious.

1076
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 5: Linging for Germany tomorrow, so he'll be gone for twelve days.

1077
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:14,800
Speaker 2: Perfect.

1078
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: Then today it seems like a perfect time to do that.

1079
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 2: Actually, today does sound like a good day because I

1080
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 2: did ask me how late can you stay at work?

1081
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, oh my.

1082
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 6: Love.

1083
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, Stephanie, wake up and smell the cappuccino.

1084
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:34,360
Speaker 4: Go be body.

1085
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:36,879
Speaker 2: It's very exciting that he's leaving for Germany. You could

1086
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 2: leave him with a nice makeout session right before he

1087
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 2: goes to Germany, and he's going to be thinking about

1088
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 2: you the whole time.

1089
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 4: This is your moment, Okay.

1090
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 2: You got this, Okay, you and go, Stephanie, go go,

1091
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:55,839
Speaker 2: Stephanie go, Hi. Thanks bye. Okay, we're going to take

1092
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 2: a break and we're going to come back and wrap

1093
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 2: up with Josh Radner. And we're back with Josh Radner,

1094
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 2: who has a new album called Uluji Volume Two.

1095
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 4: Where can you download it, Josh?

1096
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 3: Anywhere you can download any music music.

1097
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 2: It's like a podcast, guys. You can download it anywhere

1098
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 2: you get your music. He also has a podcast. He's

1099
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 2: the host of the podcast How We Made Your Mother,

1100
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 2: And he's as charming as possible. So now I know

1101
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 2: why we made out and didn't have sex. Josh, Actually,

1102
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 2: because you are charming and yeah, and.

1103
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 4: You that was the right move.

1104
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,440
Speaker 3: I don't think if we got sex, i'd be on

1105
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:32,400
Speaker 3: your podcast twenty years later. I think I you'd be surprised.

1106
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 3: I see, oh really, yeah you would be.

1107
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: I feel like we've had somebody that I didn't clock

1108
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: that I had sex with on and then after I

1109
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 2: was like, wait a second.

1110
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,240
Speaker 4: But anyway, Josh, thank you so much for being here today.

1111
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 3: It was great to be with you, guys. Yeah. Always

1112
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 3: nice to see you and thanks for having me.

1113
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1114
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 4: Absolutely have a great day.

1115
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,280
Speaker 3: Okay, bye bye bye byeanks.

1116
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, the high and Mighty tour is about to begin.

1117
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 2: I'm in DC February thirteenth. February fourteenth Atlantic city which

1118
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 2: I just added. Fifteenth is Northfolk, Virginia. February nineteenth Madison, Wisconsin.

1119
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 2: February twentieth is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February twenty first Detroit, Michigan.

1120
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 2: February twenty second, Rama, Ontario. That's Canada for those of

1121
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 2: you who don't speak Canadia. March thirteenth, Cleveland, Ohio. March

1122
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 2: fourteenth Columbus, Ohio. March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March

1123
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 2: twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh Portland, Maine. March

1124
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 2: twenty eighth, Providence, Rhode Island. March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts.

1125
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 2: April tenth is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater.

1126
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 2: April eleventh Indianapolis, Indiana. April twelfth Louisville, Kentucky. April sixteenth

1127
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 2: is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April seventeenth is Mesa, Arizona. April

1128
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 2: twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri. April twenty fourth is

1129
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 2: Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April thirtieth, Nashville, Tennessee.

1130
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:01,280
Speaker 2: May first is Charlotte, North Carolina. May second, Durham, North Carolina.

1131
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 2: May sixth I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I

1132
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 2: will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement.

1133
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:16,320
Speaker 2: And May fifteenth Saratoga, California. May sixteenth, Monterey, California. May seventeenth, Modesto, California.

1134
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 2: And then June fourth, Portchester, New York. June fifth is Boston,

1135
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 2: mass And June twelfth is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle

1136
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 2: is June thirteenth, So suck on that, everybody. Go to

1137
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:31,359
Speaker 2: Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.

1138
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 1: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea

1139
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of

1140
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:41,359
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.

1141
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive

1142
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,359
Speaker 1: producer Catherine Law And be sure to check out our

1143
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 1: merch at Chelseahandler dot com