Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio appo. If
Speaker 1: you thought more hours a day, minutes a week was enough,
Speaker 1: I think a cast. He's the last remnants of the
Speaker 1: old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
Speaker 1: in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
Speaker 1: poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
Speaker 1: free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
Speaker 1: starts right now in the air everywhere, back at it
Speaker 1: on a Saturday. It is the Fifth Hour Podcast. As
Speaker 1: you know, as we are bloviating all over the global
Speaker 1: reach the vast power of the I Heart network of podcast.
Speaker 1: Wherever you get your podcast, you obviously found the podcast,
Speaker 1: but it's it's available everywhere. It's sensory overload with this podcast,
Speaker 1: and we are glad to have you. A long yere
Speaker 1: a good conversation yesterday with Michael McCarthy. I enjoyed that.
Speaker 1: I don't know that you enjoyed that. But as a
Speaker 1: sports business nerd observer of the business of sports and media,
Speaker 1: I could have done another ninety minutes with Michael McCarthy.
Speaker 1: But we are joined now again this week. Somehow there
Speaker 1: must be a mistake. This is like several weeks in
Speaker 1: a row. He's been here from West of the four
Speaker 1: oh five. Yeah, don't love him, you hate him, David,
Speaker 1: that's good man, that's uh, that's a really good conversation yesterday.
Speaker 1: It was fun. I enjoyed it. I love that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff, talking about you know, Al Michael's future, Jim Nance,
Speaker 1: whether he actually controls the Masters. These stories are fascinating
Speaker 1: to me because I don't control anything, well don't. I
Speaker 1: have no power over anything. But these other people that
Speaker 1: actually have power in sports media, I am. I'm jealous
Speaker 1: and impressed and all of that. And don't forget what
Speaker 1: do you even mentioned this to Michael. But we're only
Speaker 1: a couple of years removed from Tony Romo having his
Speaker 1: knees chopped out from underneath them because of the gambling
Speaker 1: and stuff going on in Las Vegas, and you know,
Speaker 1: all this stuff is now coming together with the NFL,
Speaker 1: Major League Baseball, the NBA, the ANHEL sports gambling, it's
Speaker 1: it's no longer taboo. Yeah, and we we also and
Speaker 1: you go back and download if you didn't hear the
Speaker 1: Friday podcast. But we discussed the obvious Komodo dragon in
Speaker 1: the room here that these sports leagues and television are
Speaker 1: are side by side, which we've all known, but television
Speaker 1: in many respects is beholden to the sports leagues, like
Speaker 1: there's this this this odd relationship. And we also got
Speaker 1: into the fact that years ago the networks were losing
Speaker 1: money and I think they're still losing money on these deals. Um.
Speaker 1: Michael disagreed on at things said, it's different now, but
Speaker 1: it was an interesting conversation. But but upward and onward, Gagon,
Speaker 1: upward and onward. And it's all about us. This is
Speaker 1: not a podcast, it's an experience. Uh. We have critically
Speaker 1: acclaimed Hardball, Heaven and Pop Quiz, but let's start with us.
Speaker 1: We gave last weekend a masterclass in podcasting domination. Podcasting domination. Now,
Speaker 1: you know, we have tried over the years, at least
Speaker 1: I have tried. We've been doing this for a couple
Speaker 1: of years now. I have attempted to present a professional
Speaker 1: podcasting and entertaining somewhat entertaining podcasts. I realized the people
Speaker 1: are doing crap on the weekends, and you know, the
Speaker 1: audience is usually smaller for this because you're you're asking
Speaker 1: people to spend part of their their downtime listening to
Speaker 1: audio content and usually it's it's it's a tough ask,
Speaker 1: but we've done pretty good. We've got a loyal fall
Speaker 1: and we thank you for that. But we've tried to
Speaker 1: put people on who are upstanding citizens on the podcast.
Speaker 1: With the exception of Lenny Dexter, we've tried to put
Speaker 1: good people on. And we we went to the dark side, right,
Speaker 1: went to the dark side, and we went on the
Speaker 1: Highway to Hell, and we had our We had Tim
Speaker 1: Donneghee on and he turned out to be podcast bullion.
Speaker 1: Uh unbelievable. The the gambling NBA referew, which I wanted
Speaker 1: to have on, And I do want to thank a
Speaker 1: couple of you guys that reached out and said, hey,
Speaker 1: let's get Tim Donnie on the podcast because he'd be
Speaker 1: really good. And I was like, well, yeah, I wanted
Speaker 1: to talk to him anyway. I'm fascinated by his story
Speaker 1: and We had a record number of downloads with the
Speaker 1: Tim Donnie podcast. He is a drawing card. Who knew
Speaker 1: that Tim Donnie, he had a conversation with him. We're
Speaker 1: turned into a big, big, massive audience for us. It's good,
Speaker 1: It's real good. I know that, uh you probably didn't
Speaker 1: want me, you know, in that same boat with you,
Speaker 1: but uh, you know, I feel like, yeah, the highest
Speaker 1: are you? Are you taking credit? Well? I'd like to
Speaker 1: think that I have a lot to do because dr Evil,
Speaker 1: you'r mini me is what you min? I'm a little
Speaker 1: bit bigger than mini me. And how about that I'm
Speaker 1: not you know not what I hear? Well, it's it's
Speaker 1: what you should hear. It's you're being told lies. But anyways,
Speaker 1: I I digress as because I know you like to
Speaker 1: put on a good show. And you know what I am.
Speaker 1: I'm Shrek and you're the donkey. No, I'm Shrek and
Speaker 1: you're the dog. You're like, you're like Willow, You're just
Speaker 1: a little pack. I'm you're Chuaca. You don't have the chrisma,
Speaker 1: very piece that screams right, that that watches your back,
Speaker 1: that takes care of you even when you get dropped
Speaker 1: in carbonite. I get dropped all the time. I'm buzz
Speaker 1: light here, you're Sheriff, You're Wow, you're Genie and Medford.
Speaker 1: How about that fucking corpse. This is the last two
Speaker 1: of three episodes of the fifth Hour, or the highest
Speaker 1: ever in the show's history. In fact, they were so high,
Speaker 1: guest Gun, that I was convinced that we had somebody
Speaker 1: buying bots to download the podcast. Maybe how that's how,
Speaker 1: And I wouldn't be against that, by the way, I
Speaker 1: let against people setting up bots to download the podcast.
Speaker 1: I don't you know how I feel about the internet,
Speaker 1: guest Gun. It's all social media, is all the matrix.
Speaker 1: Take the blue pill of the red pill, do whatever
Speaker 1: you want there. But I I believe in that. So
Speaker 1: why I don't know what happened. There's no tangible reason.
Speaker 1: We tried to find the answer why the downloads were
Speaker 1: up so high last weekend, and I have a theory. Okay,
Speaker 1: My theory is this is that on the on the
Speaker 1: heels of the week, we typically do this Friday, Saturday,
Speaker 1: and Sunday, as you mentioned, and looking at the two
Speaker 1: episodes Fridays with Tim donnihe and then Sunday with the
Speaker 1: mail Bag, that there was residual carry over for me
Speaker 1: producing your shows Wednesday and Thursday. Doubt in my mind
Speaker 1: that ears and oftentimes hearts peak. When I'm on your show.
Speaker 1: There's more energy in the building, there's more enthusiasm. You
Speaker 1: actually have more content to cover, you have sound duty,
Speaker 1: your monologues, and then it all comes together where people
Speaker 1: either bitch and moan or they sing my praise and
Speaker 1: throw rose pedals at me. So there was residual carry
Speaker 1: over from those two days and it was echoed into
Speaker 1: the to the podcast. So just to recap for those
Speaker 1: whether you admit it or not, for those of you
Speaker 1: in the back of the room, the prima Donna is
Speaker 1: styling and profiling and taking credits. Yes, the reality is
Speaker 1: the to fit out with Ben Mallory is not on
Speaker 1: if if I'm not around so here, I am loud
Speaker 1: and proud. I know you don't want to give me credit,
Speaker 1: Eddie credit, not even I'm I'm impressed that you were
Speaker 1: able to show up, show up to work. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: Not always. I mean I don't done this with I
Speaker 1: mean there are people who don't even work in the
Speaker 1: company anymore, that you know sell air conditioners that I've
Speaker 1: done this one, Okay. I mean, let's be honest here,
Speaker 1: and I'm fine. I'll like, you know, I'm the man
Speaker 1: of the people, the people, the only guy that listens
Speaker 1: to this content that doesn't roll out of bed and
Speaker 1: do his work. And that that is you. You roll
Speaker 1: out of bed, you do your work, and you roll
Speaker 1: back in the bed. Everyone. I go into a professional
Speaker 1: I have to get up, put my clothes on, just
Speaker 1: like anyone else, one leg at a time. I gotta
Speaker 1: walk down the hall. I gotta make it turn, I
Speaker 1: gotta turn all this crap on. And by the way,
Speaker 1: it's manual labor. Okay. It takes us like a twenty
Speaker 1: minute lag time. When I come into the studio and
Speaker 1: I'm ready, you know, I got my lunch pail and
Speaker 1: I'm ready to do some talk, some hot talk radio,
Speaker 1: and I gotta sit here for twenty minutes. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm like Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid, you know,
Speaker 1: training Daniel wax On wax Off, trying to get the
Speaker 1: damn equipment to work, and uh, and then finally I
Speaker 1: get enlightenment and it actually works after twenty minutes, is
Speaker 1: like hallelujah. But it's chopping. What I'm doing is carrying
Speaker 1: water and chopping wood. It's like that old Buddhist saying,
Speaker 1: right after enlightenment, carry water, chop wood. Before enlightenment, carry water,
Speaker 1: chop wood. I am your enlightenment, Ben Mallory. There's a
Speaker 1: rejuvenated sense of you and your professional career that you've
Speaker 1: gone digital. And it is uh. It is tabulated through
Speaker 1: the metric system of Fox Sports Radio, and it is nice.
Speaker 1: Though you know you're the white collar guy on the
Speaker 1: blue collar guy. It is nice. You know. I've had
Speaker 1: a little bit of a break. I've I've done a
Speaker 1: lot of the YouTube videos for the company are our
Speaker 1: guy has been on vacation, so I haven't had to
Speaker 1: do it. So so I can. I can sit there
Speaker 1: in my underwear and through the show. His name is Elijah.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for everyone knows Elijah, asshole. Everyone
Speaker 1: knows Elijah that they learned of him in the Bible.
Speaker 1: Elijah is great, He's wonderful. Listen, how do you spell
Speaker 1: Bo Benson's first name? I don't I don't know what asshole.
Speaker 1: You don't even know who you work with? B e
Speaker 1: au Bo Benson, and I'll worked with you and produced
Speaker 1: a episode of the Fifth Hour. He's tight an entire weekend,
Speaker 1: the entire weekend go back and he Uh, is that
Speaker 1: how you've gone through your professional career? You just looked
Speaker 1: down at everyone that doesn't serve you accordingly, like you
Speaker 1: spit on them, and then what what? What star here?
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. It's it's a great thing
Speaker 1: here for who It's a lesson I learned from my
Speaker 1: mom and dad back in the day. You put one
Speaker 1: foot in front of the other. You keep your head down,
Speaker 1: and you just keep moving right. And all the crap
Speaker 1: that goes on around you, like you're not showing up
Speaker 1: one weekend or you know, bringing in the air conditioning
Speaker 1: salesman when the next weekend. What I just do the show.
Speaker 1: And you know, if you want to be here, that's great.
Speaker 1: If the other people want to be here, that's wonderful.
Speaker 1: And uh and you know we'll have fun about some
Speaker 1: people are better than others. But I keep doing the show.
Speaker 1: One foot in front of the other, head down, do
Speaker 1: your job. I learned that from Bill Belichick. Do your job.
Speaker 1: But when you outcasted me to you Bakersfield, you said,
Speaker 1: out cash you that was a great you said, you said,
Speaker 1: journal everything and life is all about experiences life, It's
Speaker 1: all about life, It's all about the story. Well, wouldn't
Speaker 1: you agree the story is better to be shared with
Speaker 1: people as opposed to buy yourself. I don't know, but
Speaker 1: I'm an introver. I don't know about that. That's bullshit.
Speaker 1: I'm an introver, I am. I've always been that way.
Speaker 1: I'm inward looking. It's because you have content for most
Speaker 1: people that you come across. Well, I've been done dirty
Speaker 1: by some people over the years. I'm not I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie to you. I've had some experiences that have
Speaker 1: shaped me. Can we address the elephant in the room, Well,
Speaker 1: it's the Komodo dragon, Rember I changed that. It's no
Speaker 1: longer the elephant in the room. I think Komodo dragons
Speaker 1: are very cool. I'd like to go to that island
Speaker 1: in Indonesia someday that has like nothing but Komodo dragons.
Speaker 1: I think that would be really cool. But required to
Speaker 1: get on a plane. You can't touch them though, because
Speaker 1: you're like, they got this poisonous google on the Komodo dragons,
Speaker 1: like they'll their spit will kill you. Well, can we
Speaker 1: acknowledge the fact that one of the most frugal human
Speaker 1: beings I know bought a four figure traffic light and
Speaker 1: on Instagram. What kind of an asshole are you? What
Speaker 1: kind of Oh my gosh, do you want to hear
Speaker 1: the backstory on that? Yes, please share that backstory please?
Speaker 1: All right. So there's some stuff going on behind the
Speaker 1: scenes that I will not get into. But there's some
Speaker 1: relocation possibilities that are going to be taking place here.
Speaker 1: The Mallard mansion might be on the move soon. So
Speaker 1: uh in that process, which I will not get into here. Uh,
Speaker 1: there's been a lot of things that me and the
Speaker 1: wife have had to do on the weekends to prepare
Speaker 1: for that. And she loves going to you know, different
Speaker 1: uh antique stores and intiking and that kind of crap,
Speaker 1: Like you know, she loves trying to find cool things
Speaker 1: that are you know, unique and quirky and all that.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, all right, I'll go along whatever. So
Speaker 1: we walked in. It was actually on Robertson in Uh
Speaker 1: we're in l A h and on Robertson right right
Speaker 1: there in your west l A and near by the
Speaker 1: way east of the four H five. Want it being
Speaker 1: very clear. It was east of the four oh five.
Speaker 1: But we walked in on Robertson over there, right near
Speaker 1: that Taco bell which I used to stop at back
Speaker 1: in the day. Uh and they had a bunch of
Speaker 1: random stuff and this, this light, this signal. Just called
Speaker 1: out to my wife and she's like, we gotta get there,
Speaker 1: and uh so we did. We bought a traffic signal
Speaker 1: to hang up in the house. I don't know how
Speaker 1: we're gonna hang it. The thing weighs a fucking ton,
Speaker 1: but uh, I don't know how you hang something that heavy.
Speaker 1: But we'll find a way to hang it up. And
Speaker 1: it actually, it actually works. It's a working traffic light.
Speaker 1: How freaking nuts is that? To the Mallard mansion into
Speaker 1: a frat house. That's what you're doing? Do it? The
Speaker 1: thing is, it is a real size traffic light. It's
Speaker 1: not it's nuts insanity, it's you know, you can stand
Speaker 1: out a little bit, why not not? Unbelie No, I
Speaker 1: think it's cool. I think it's neat. But but but
Speaker 1: just back to the downloads with with Tim donnahe I
Speaker 1: think I told you guess we now need to go
Speaker 1: to the dark side, right, we need the criminal underbelly
Speaker 1: of sports, and I'm not getting this is not disinformation here.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm willing to bring on on a bunch of bandits, miscreants,
Speaker 1: unsavory characters, right, I'm fine with that. The desperadoes. Some
Speaker 1: would call them human scum. We call them downloading gold. Now,
Speaker 1: the only way we will avoid this I will see
Speaker 1: what the numbers are this weekend. We obviously don't know
Speaker 1: because we're doing the show right now. Uh. But if
Speaker 1: the numbers continue to be up and it turns out
Speaker 1: it's not because of Tim donahe that the spill over
Speaker 1: from that, and that the numbers are still strong, then
Speaker 1: we will avoid bringing in the den of inequity here.
Speaker 1: We will. We will continue to fight the good fight
Speaker 1: here without going to the Gray Bar Hotel about that.
Speaker 1: In the process of doing so, you can at least
Speaker 1: agree that the guest booking and production has just been tremendous. Like,
Speaker 1: you know, there's a term in baseball when you're swinging
Speaker 1: up bats. Sometimes the baseball looks like a b B
Speaker 1: and you're striking out all the time, and other times
Speaker 1: the baseball looks like a beach ball and you can't miss.
Speaker 1: Like I am I'm hitting a like a right four fifty,
Speaker 1: slugging probably over a thousand. Like I'm in that cleanup
Speaker 1: spot for a reason. Ben Maller, Yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: you are? You I am the guy. You're you're You're
Speaker 1: in yoga and you're doing the downward dog stretches. What
Speaker 1: you're doing right now, you're really going out there and
Speaker 1: nobody else. By the way, I've never done yoga. I
Speaker 1: just like saying downward dog. I think that's a fun
Speaker 1: for used to say. Yeah, a little bit sketchy right
Speaker 1: downward No, Yeah, that's great for long time. You've done
Speaker 1: yoga your West of the four Old five. I've tried
Speaker 1: Bickram yoga in Manhattan Beach. Yeah. They raised the temperature
Speaker 1: in the room to over a hundred degrees and it's
Speaker 1: it's like you're doing yoga and asana. I did it
Speaker 1: with women that were a fraction of our size, and
Speaker 1: they'd crush it like ninety minutes long. And these women,
Speaker 1: I mean, the we're hot, but they were older, and
Speaker 1: you get intimidated. I mean there was two guys in there.
Speaker 1: Me and one other guy looked like a basketball player.
Speaker 1: He was like six seven, six eight and he was lengthy.
Speaker 1: I stood in the back the way. Problem is that
Speaker 1: in studio is filled with mirrors, so you have no escape.
Speaker 1: So if you're out of gas, you tap out. Everyone's
Speaker 1: looking at you. Remember gas gun though, it's not the
Speaker 1: size of the dog in the fight. It's the size
Speaker 1: of the fight. Yeah. That's why. That's why I'm a
Speaker 1: perfect compliment to you, because at times you're spineless, you're
Speaker 1: sleeping nothing. And uh I had a buddy of my
Speaker 1: years ago who hated yoga but did yoga just to
Speaker 1: meet women. Uh and would complain about how what he
Speaker 1: hated it, but you know, it was a way to
Speaker 1: meet women, so he would You know, guys will do
Speaker 1: anything to meet the women when you're a single dude.
Speaker 1: I mean, he was in better shape than I was,
Speaker 1: you know, but that's not hard you know. So, but
Speaker 1: I wouldn't call him, I wouldn't confuse him with like
Speaker 1: Adonis or anything like that. I would I wouldn't go
Speaker 1: go that far, but fair enough. Yeah, anyway, Uh So,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to bring up this hard ball heaven things.
Speaker 1: So I did a Mallard monologue award winning Mallard monologue
Speaker 1: this week about the start of baseball with opening Day
Speaker 1: happening back on Thursday. And you know, I went through
Speaker 1: all the major leagues and I eliminated twenty three teams.
Speaker 1: There was only seven teams that have a chance to
Speaker 1: win the World Series. And the Mallar militia. There's a contingent.
Speaker 1: There's an arm of the Mallard militia that loved them baseball.
Speaker 1: They love them some baseball. Now, it's not a large contingent.
Speaker 1: And I I'm sure at some point the bosses will
Speaker 1: call me into the office and say, hey, you should
Speaker 1: shouldn't be talking about baseball. What are you doing? You're
Speaker 1: you're doing old guy radio. But I like baseball. I
Speaker 1: talked about it from time to time, not too much.
Speaker 1: I still mostly do football and some basketball. But we
Speaker 1: did a baseball monologue and people the feedback was really good.
Speaker 1: In fact, Robbie, the Mariner fan, he said, how about
Speaker 1: a baseball podcast every week or every other week? Do
Speaker 1: like a hard oh hardcore baseball poctice Now he recommended
Speaker 1: with Roberto, not you. He didn't want you part of
Speaker 1: the parties. He wanted Roberto to be part of it
Speaker 1: because he doesn't think of you as more like a
Speaker 1: baseball guy. He thinks of Roberto is the baseball guy,
Speaker 1: and you're not really the baseball guy. I'm I'm a
Speaker 1: huge baseball guy. Played baseball in the college. Baseball has
Speaker 1: been my one of my first loves. I I was
Speaker 1: outcasted by you to go to Bakersfield covering baseball. What
Speaker 1: this was great advice. I have a story. I worked
Speaker 1: with a story to tell you work cornered, rattlesnake, you had,
Speaker 1: you have a story to tell. No, I worked for
Speaker 1: the Seattle Mariners class or advanced a affiliate. That's that's
Speaker 1: a little odd. That's interesting that he brings that up
Speaker 1: because earlier in the week, Um, I had wanted to
Speaker 1: call and talk to you and talk to you about
Speaker 1: baseball as as a particular subject. And um yeah, no response,
Speaker 1: no return phone call. Um still while I was sleeping,
Speaker 1: How am I supposed to four o'clock in the afternoon.
Speaker 1: I'm sleeping. That's bullshit. You're usually awake at eleven or
Speaker 1: twelve o'clock Pacific. Yeah. Yeah, un listen, you don't need
Speaker 1: to give my my schedule out here, my dirty laundry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think any want to do that. But I
Speaker 1: was thinking since this is the Saturday podcast. I was thinking, Hey,
Speaker 1: how about we do a test run. Maybe we can
Speaker 1: start this next week and give pop Quiz a hole,
Speaker 1: you know, do like a no not this week in baseball,
Speaker 1: because the problem is we're gonna have to keep this
Speaker 1: a little bit kind of not generic. But it's got
Speaker 1: to be a little evergreen when you talk about baseball.
Speaker 1: Because the podcast, there's a lag time from when we
Speaker 1: do the podcast and when it's it's available. We can
Speaker 1: play around with it, we can test it out and
Speaker 1: if the downloads are good, we can keep it going.
Speaker 1: How about that, Well, why can't we go back to YouTube?
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be
Speaker 1: sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
Speaker 1: weekdays at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Speaker 1: Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio. What do you mean?
Speaker 1: That was great? It was interactive check, great graphics check
Speaker 1: we could bring in that was all a check. But
Speaker 1: the chi ching chiching I didn't get out of that.
Speaker 1: You know, I'll point out there was you know, no monetization. Wow,
Speaker 1: kind of works like this right, Well, see how that works.
Speaker 1: I get, I get, I get a little money at it,
Speaker 1: not much. Not so if I got paid what we
Speaker 1: should get paid here for people he's dropping in here
Speaker 1: and spying on the on the conversation, then it would
Speaker 1: be some real money. Yeah, well, I mean I would.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm a part of that too, right, So, okay,
Speaker 1: he's just writing my coat and you have no shame.
Speaker 1: I'm providing a service, am I not? I am doing work,
Speaker 1: am I not? You're the Mallard gravy train guy. There's
Speaker 1: gonna go on the Mallord gravy train today. There's at
Speaker 1: least got to be a home destination, right, Like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm buying the dough, I'm buying the pepperoni, I'm buying
Speaker 1: the cheese. What's wrong with having a slice? Well, you
Speaker 1: do bring a lot of cheese here you doing? What's
Speaker 1: what's wrong with bringing that love? And how about this
Speaker 1: little constructive criticism, a little tough love. How about be
Speaker 1: more relatable to the to the common person. How about
Speaker 1: that I'm exatremely relatable. I'm not. I'm younger, I'm hip,
Speaker 1: I watch movies, pop cultures. You're proving exactly what I
Speaker 1: was saying here. I am. I. I am the person
Speaker 1: where if you're a burger flipper, a truck driver, a
Speaker 1: hay seed, uh, you know you're an outdoor has been,
Speaker 1: a small town hick. You don't even own a gun?
Speaker 1: What the hell are you talking about? You don't know
Speaker 1: whether I own a gun or not. I just don't
Speaker 1: advertise it like you do. How about that? Maybe I
Speaker 1: own a ton of guns? How about that gas guh?
Speaker 1: I have a hard time believing that. Well, because I'm
Speaker 1: such a monster and I'm so much bigger than you.
Speaker 1: Why would I need one? Right, I'm a beast over here,
Speaker 1: Look at me. I'm a based over here. Jesus. All right, anyway,
Speaker 1: let's get the pop quiz. We we are up against it,
Speaker 1: as they like to say in the podcast business. So
Speaker 1: these are actual random things that I found around the
Speaker 1: Internet which I think are interesting, and I am going
Speaker 1: to share them with you, and I will quiz gas gun,
Speaker 1: and then we will make him look silly, and then
Speaker 1: we will give you the answer because he will be
Speaker 1: oblivious to many of these answers, and we will enjoy
Speaker 1: his ignorance, as he is blind and deaf, to all
Speaker 1: of these questions. All right, Uh. New survey asked people
Speaker 1: to name the one thing in their home that does
Speaker 1: not work, and this was the most common answer. What
Speaker 1: is it, I'm gonna say a clock clock, right, primitive
Speaker 1: answer by you. That is incorrect. It's incorrect. This is
Speaker 1: this does not work at the Mallard mansion. By the way,
Speaker 1: this is also broken to the Mallard mansion. It is
Speaker 1: an ice maker, yea, the ice maker and the refrigerator.
Speaker 1: And I love a nice cool glass of water. I
Speaker 1: drink a lot of water, and I like my ice
Speaker 1: in my water. But we what I've had to do
Speaker 1: is I a couple of years ago, I got those
Speaker 1: ice trays because the ice machine stopped working. It's and
Speaker 1: and so I just used the ice and the trays.
Speaker 1: But you know, you actually burned calaries when you drink
Speaker 1: cold water. Yeah, same thing with taking a cold shower.
Speaker 1: I don't do cold showers, but I do the cold water.
Speaker 1: I like the cold water there. But the ice maker,
Speaker 1: that's interesting. It's been over a year, right that it
Speaker 1: hasn't worked for me. Yeah. Uh, the ice maker has
Speaker 1: been broken for like two years. Yeah, it's been and
Speaker 1: we tried to fix it a couple of times. It's
Speaker 1: like you go on YouTube and you gotta get like
Speaker 1: a blow dryer, and you've got it because there's ice
Speaker 1: on the back of the ice maker and you've gotta
Speaker 1: it jams the thing up, and so then you you think, well,
Speaker 1: why would that matter because it's an ice maker. Shouldn't
Speaker 1: there be ice on an ice maker? And no, you
Speaker 1: can't have it there because that's a problem. So you
Speaker 1: gotta blow the hot air in. But then that you've
Speaker 1: got to leave the refrigerator open, so then you expose
Speaker 1: the food to the warmness, and then the fridge starts
Speaker 1: making sounds and buzzing and all that because it's been
Speaker 1: open for too long. And then when you finally get
Speaker 1: the ice off the thing, then all your food's expired
Speaker 1: and gone bad and starting to smell, and so it's
Speaker 1: a bad situation, all right. Moving on, A gambling obsession
Speaker 1: is responsible for this food invention. Wait repeat that one
Speaker 1: more time. A gambling obsession is responsible for this food invention.
Speaker 1: Now this goes back many, many years, but one of
Speaker 1: the most popular foods over hundreds of years was actually
Speaker 1: invented because of an obsessive gambler. Come on. You should
Speaker 1: know this story. Come on, come on, chop top. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know pizza. No. Have you ever heard of
Speaker 1: the fourth Earl of Sandwich John Montagu? I think it's
Speaker 1: how you say the name. But this is in the
Speaker 1: seventeen hundreds in England. The guy was such a degenerate gambler. Okay,
Speaker 1: the legend has been confirmed by food historians. This guy
Speaker 1: was such a lover of gambling. He did not want
Speaker 1: to get off the card table. He would spend hours,
Speaker 1: this is in the seventeen hundreds gambling my kind of
Speaker 1: guy here, and he would he would binge for hours
Speaker 1: and hours. But he also wanted to eat, so he
Speaker 1: told the house cook, Being the Earl of Sandwich, he
Speaker 1: told the house cook to to bring him something he
Speaker 1: could eat without getting up from the table, and the
Speaker 1: sandwich was born. Now, there is a conspiracy theory that
Speaker 1: I read that the Earl of Sandwich had actually gone
Speaker 1: to Greece and travel degrees and seeing that they had
Speaker 1: kind of a you know, kind of a version of
Speaker 1: the sandwich, the Greek version, and he actually advised the
Speaker 1: cook to make something like that. But some the great
Speaker 1: things we all know, Earl of you don't. But we
Speaker 1: most of us know the earl of sandwich story. We
Speaker 1: have no idea who the actual person, the peon in
Speaker 1: the kitchen, who actually made the sandwich, the first sandwich,
Speaker 1: We have no idea who that is. But it was
Speaker 1: because of gambling. So if you enjoy sandwiches, you should
Speaker 1: thank gamblers. Interesting, all right. A new report says shoplifting
Speaker 1: from grocery stores increased last year. The thieves took this
Speaker 1: item more than anything else. What is it? Um, you
Speaker 1: don't go to Walmart west of the four or five.
Speaker 1: You don't go to Walmart. That's true. Below water, bottled water. No,
Speaker 1: this is odd to me. I guess it makes sense, though,
Speaker 1: raw meat, How would you shoplift that? Though? Yeah, you
Speaker 1: put it in a crevice in your body. They're a
Speaker 1: nice rip by shove it up. You took us. I
Speaker 1: just think with bottled water, you can get the you
Speaker 1: get all those the packs, you can put it underneath
Speaker 1: the cart and then never just show it to the cashier. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm surprised there's not tons of shoplifting. I go to
Speaker 1: Walmart and they have the self checkout thing, and like,
Speaker 1: I know, there's cameras everywhere, but how do they not
Speaker 1: like if you're buying something, you know you can buy
Speaker 1: two or three items and then sneak a fourth thing. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: don't forget. You can get away with all that stuff
Speaker 1: as long as it's less than a certain dollar. Mount
Speaker 1: in San Francisco, so or l a with your your
Speaker 1: is it your uncle? That's the district the terms no
Speaker 1: relation now alright, justin and Cincinnati said, you guys related,
Speaker 1: he's a fing idiot. You wanna go you wanna go
Speaker 1: on with that? Alright? U. A high school senior created
Speaker 1: this piece of artwork. It's part of Americana that you
Speaker 1: see nearly every day. A billboard. No, the current design
Speaker 1: of the United States flag. A high school senior created
Speaker 1: what is our flag? Will be that flag until President
Speaker 1: Biden adds what Puerto Rico? And who else is a Cuba?
Speaker 1: That DC? There you go DC, Yeah, alright gets canceled allogether. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think we should just like take all of North America.
Speaker 1: Should like we could take Canada, Mexico, make it all
Speaker 1: part of America. What do you say, guess on the
Speaker 1: entire reason? Well, all of hon Doris will make Hondoras
Speaker 1: part of America. How about that? Boy, No, I can't
Speaker 1: do it. Given enough time, you know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: Given enough time, we won't be around. But a recent
Speaker 1: survey says roughly one in five people keep one of
Speaker 1: these at work, but not at home. Only at work,
Speaker 1: not at home. What is it? Um? Do do do
Speaker 1: do do do do do do do do do do
Speaker 1: do do do do don daily planner? All right? No? Uh?
Speaker 1: Candy dish candy dish. Interesting. Yeah. When I had my
Speaker 1: very brief television career at the fledgling NBC Sports Network,
Speaker 1: which is going out of business because they got rid
Speaker 1: of me, they had massive piles of candy all over
Speaker 1: the NBC Sports building in Stanford, connecticutmongous, humongous battle piles
Speaker 1: of candy, right, And I asked one of the senior
Speaker 1: producers at NBC. I said, why, I lost a lot
Speaker 1: of weight and you are really tempting me here because
Speaker 1: I'm sitting around. You know. We had to stay for
Speaker 1: the West Coast Games to end and tape the show
Speaker 1: and it was a big pain in the ass. And
Speaker 1: I said, what what are you doing to me? I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get fat again because you've got candy everywhere? And
Speaker 1: he explained to me that they did that intentionally because
Speaker 1: when people did have to stick around there a long
Speaker 1: time and wait for games, it was a lot of
Speaker 1: downtime wait for games to end, and so the candy
Speaker 1: gave him with sugar rush and kept people away good.
Speaker 1: So that's why they had the candy all over the place,
Speaker 1: a little snicker bars and all kinds of crampings. And
Speaker 1: I did actually gain some weight during that time. Was
Speaker 1: double fist and butter fingers. You know, I was going
Speaker 1: for it. It was. It was good, all right. Uh,
Speaker 1: when I noticed at Fox Sports Radio they do not
Speaker 1: leave piles of candy around the building. Now, they don't
Speaker 1: leave anything around here. Yeah, when it comes to our
Speaker 1: morning routine of us do this smoke a cigarette? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: it lay close out the night before. Ever you ever
Speaker 1: do that? No? Never, I did. My mind when I
Speaker 1: was a kid. My mom would do that when I
Speaker 1: was young, But I don't never I've ever done that.
Speaker 1: I go in there and like, I have no no
Speaker 1: plan as you know, and I'm a pretty good fashion
Speaker 1: Easta as you know, guesscount, but I don't really plan
Speaker 1: it out. You have a hat and you have pajamas.
Speaker 1: That's about the gist of the malory attire during the
Speaker 1: work week. Yeah, you don't need to be jealous. There's fine.
Speaker 1: Someday maybe you'll become important. Could happen important to certain people,
Speaker 1: your parents, I'm sure, all right. A new survey says
Speaker 1: nearly one in three adults have not tried a new
Speaker 1: one of these products in the last five years. They
Speaker 1: just keep using the same product for five years. What
Speaker 1: is it? Something associated with the summer? The summer? Um?
Speaker 1: What the summer? I don't know. That's be a bathing suit. Okay, now,
Speaker 1: I'm happy to report my wife believes in buying new
Speaker 1: bathing suits every year. So I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: She just like you, you know, you gotta look good
Speaker 1: for the summer. Bathing suits are expensive too. Well, my
Speaker 1: father in law has a pool, so we spent a
Speaker 1: lot of time at his house during the summer and
Speaker 1: with my sister in law, you know, the in law
Speaker 1: as were hanging out. We all get along. We have
Speaker 1: a good time. We have fun, fun under the sun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm laying in the pool like a beached you know,
Speaker 1: beached whale and uh, you know, doing the whole thing.
Speaker 1: So it's fun. Alright, majority of people haven't changed this
Speaker 1: in three or more years. What is it? I feel
Speaker 1: like you've asked that before. Okay, then you should get
Speaker 1: it right right away. I think go. I think what
Speaker 1: I said last week was toothbrush is we didn't have
Speaker 1: this last um maybe two weeks ago. But um, they
Speaker 1: haven't changed it in three or four years, three years,
Speaker 1: three years, three or more years? Um, their job. No,
Speaker 1: the voicemail message on there, Yeah, you did ask that
Speaker 1: last did Yeah. I wasn't listening. Uh, and you didn't
Speaker 1: even remember. This makes it you're even You're looking even
Speaker 1: worse than I. That's a bad job by you. You
Speaker 1: know you said that last week, but you didn't even Oh, Mike,
Speaker 1: I wasn't listening. Alright. Let's see a new report says
Speaker 1: it takes an average American about four months to finish
Speaker 1: one of these What is it? Four months to finish these?
Speaker 1: A book? Two? Toothpaste? Wait? Wait, what the hell? You
Speaker 1: asked this like you said this last week too. No,
Speaker 1: I did not, you did. I did not. I had
Speaker 1: a different toothpaste question. But I did not have four
Speaker 1: months to finish a two with toothpaste. I had no,
Speaker 1: I have no idea until I saw this. How dare
Speaker 1: you accuse me of repeating content here? And you're some
Speaker 1: of your colleagues are rubbing off on you. All right,
Speaker 1: over half of all Americans who sell their home take
Speaker 1: these with them when they move. Uh, the house keys,
Speaker 1: light bulbs. How fucking cheap are you if you're taking
Speaker 1: light bulbs when you move? Come on, it's a joke.
Speaker 1: All right, that's it. Guess we got it. We got
Speaker 1: the mail bag. Gotta leave a lot of good time
Speaker 1: for that Sunday mail bag. So download this podcast, support
Speaker 1: our podcast, review our podcast, Tell a friend, We thank you,
Speaker 1: We thank you. And even though we have corporate overlords,
Speaker 1: this is like the pirate ship. They kind of you know,
Speaker 1: they were in the shadows of these parts. So anyway,
Speaker 1: have a great Saturday, Enjoy the baseball, the basketball, the
Speaker 1: Final Four, the whole thing. We got. We got content
Speaker 1: on Easter Sunday Gascon. How about that unbelievable We'll be
Speaker 1: back with that. We'll catch you then,