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Speaker 1: welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. This your girl,

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Speaker 1: Mandy b a k A selling a k A debt,

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Speaker 1: bitch a k A full core pumps a k A.

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Speaker 1: I don't know peg Ryan, I don't y'all giving me

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Speaker 1: all these little additional names that I love every time

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Speaker 1: I go online and I'm sitting across from a co host. Hi,

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Speaker 1: I'm wheezy. Today's a really special episode. Why I'm excited

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Speaker 1: not because it's gay, not because it's God, but because

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Speaker 1: I had to rush my nigga. I really only did

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Speaker 1: it for you. Let me just explain. She literally was

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Speaker 1: about to move your recording to eleven PM. I said

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Speaker 1: this here, so I missed my initial flight. It's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Get to the airport. The flight's delayed by two hours,

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Speaker 1: so I go to the sky lounge chill in whatever.

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Speaker 1: Come to find out they pushed back to the original time,

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Speaker 1: had ten minutes. Missed that flight, try to get another

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Speaker 1: flight that was pushed going through t s a a

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Speaker 1: dog bites a woman. This is no fucking line. I

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Speaker 1: was like, Yo, maybe I'm gonna die on the plane today.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I shouldn't do this right. So then I go

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Speaker 1: back out, try to book another flight on the airline,

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Speaker 1: but it leaves in twenty minutes. So I Uber get

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Speaker 1: an uber driver to take my checked bag and send

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Speaker 1: it to my fucking mom's house because I was like,

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Speaker 1: that's the way I'll make the flight. Missed that flight,

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Speaker 1: got the last flight that I could from Orlando to LaGuardia,

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Speaker 1: and I was so stressed out that I would miss you.

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Speaker 1: I felt like it was just going to be such

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Speaker 1: an important episode and so necessary, and I know people

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Speaker 1: are going to be upset, and I just I am

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Speaker 1: so ready for this. I'm super ready for this. So

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Speaker 1: if you guys are wondering why we think this episode

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Speaker 1: is still controversial controversial, you probably saw it in the

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Speaker 1: title we don't know what we're gonna name this year,

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Speaker 1: but controversial. So I am sitting next to Actually I

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Speaker 1: would say, we're domn here friends now, Yes, this is

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Speaker 1: my friend. I met you through recording on the grape

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Speaker 1: Vine and we've had a lot of conversations. And the

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Speaker 1: last time I recorded grape Vine, we talked a lot

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Speaker 1: that day and I said, you're what you do? What

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Speaker 1: we started talking about your book. We did a whole

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Speaker 1: lot of talking. But go ahead and introduce yourself and

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Speaker 1: why I was so prevalent with having cool. So I

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Speaker 1: am Corey Ill Scott. Y'all gonna ask me that later.

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Speaker 1: For my social media stuff, it's all the same. I

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Speaker 1: like myself a lot, so everything after me I Scott

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Speaker 1: um So, I am the lead pastor of Transformers Church Chicago. UM,

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Speaker 1: and I do a bunch of different stuff. But Mandy

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Speaker 1: and I of course met on the Grapevine where I'm

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Speaker 1: a PADDI list and do some other stuff. Yes, so, UM,

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Speaker 1: I know we haven't yet really delved into the religion

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Speaker 1: and sex topic as we really wanted to. UM, and

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Speaker 1: I'm really gone R Y L S c O T T.

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Speaker 1: Got it and I'm just really excited because not only

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Speaker 1: are you in the church um as a pastor, but

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Speaker 1: you kind of go against what we would deem as

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Speaker 1: the normal righteous pastor because you are gay. You're like

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Speaker 1: this is so normal for me, Like this is this

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Speaker 1: would make me go to church. So let me level

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Speaker 1: set a little bit. Yes, so I am gay, of course,

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Speaker 1: Like there's no questions about that. UM. So anybody that

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Speaker 1: sees my photos and once that, yes, I'm sure I

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Speaker 1: know what I like. Every time a man touches my body,

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Speaker 1: I thank God again um that he didn't let me.

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Speaker 1: It's just something, thank you. So I wanna before we

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Speaker 1: get into this whole conversation because a lot of today's

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Speaker 1: episode is going to question the Bible. UM. We are

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Speaker 1: going to discuss how he and how maybe one can

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Speaker 1: interpret the Bible differently, and we are going to have

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Speaker 1: the conversation of sex, virginity, king and all of these

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Speaker 1: things as they pertain to the church and religion. Um.

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Speaker 1: And so before we start, UM, something that maybe we

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Speaker 1: thy and I have maybe gracefully passed um was our

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Speaker 1: religious backgrounds. So I want to start before we get

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Speaker 1: into the conversation and say a little bit about my background,

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Speaker 1: UM with church, and then we will go ahead and

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Speaker 1: share hers as well. So when I was growing up,

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Speaker 1: I I did grow up as a Protestant um so

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Speaker 1: Christian belief. I did go to church with my grandparents.

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Speaker 1: I did go to church on Sundays with my mom. UM.

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Speaker 1: And when I was in elementary and middle school, I

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Speaker 1: actually was a part of missions, So I did. I

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Speaker 1: did go to church every Wednesday. UM. This was kind

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Speaker 1: of like a Bible study that we had from about

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Speaker 1: six pm to eight thirty UM. And I had a

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Speaker 1: little sash. Every time I memorized a certain scripture in

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Speaker 1: the Bible, I got a sash. I had to wear

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Speaker 1: a white collar polo shirt with a blue skirt and

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Speaker 1: white sneakers. UM. I went to Calvary Assembly in Orlando, Florida. UM,

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Speaker 1: and I helped my mom. My mom was a part

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Speaker 1: of a lot of things that went on in the church. UM.

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Speaker 1: Joyce Myers came one time, and I remember we spent

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Speaker 1: our whole weekend helping serve food for Joyce Myers. My

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Speaker 1: mom was in love, not that way, but with T. D.

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Speaker 1: Jake's So my mom read T. D. Jake's books. I

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Speaker 1: grew up watching TV Jake's on tv UM. And it

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Speaker 1: wasn't until maybe about my high school year that church

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Speaker 1: kind of dwindled down more into for holidays. So Easter

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Speaker 1: we went. We made sure we went um for Christmas. Um.

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Speaker 1: I was even the bell in the Christmas place. Oh yeah, No.

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Speaker 1: So it's crazy because I now identify as non religious.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe in the Jesus Christ that I grew

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Speaker 1: up being told I should believe. He does not look

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Speaker 1: the way I was told he should believe. And in

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Speaker 1: my mind now as an adult, UM, I do not

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Speaker 1: go to church. I do not read the Bible, I

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Speaker 1: do not worship, and I currently believe in a higher power.

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Speaker 1: I believe in faith, but not God. Um. I believe

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Speaker 1: in a God, but not Jesus Christ. And so UM.

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Speaker 1: In terms of how I even question religion with myself,

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Speaker 1: it's just like I don't conformed to that. UM. But

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Speaker 1: I thought it was important for you guys to know

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Speaker 1: that I actually he did grow up in the church

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Speaker 1: and that was a part of my life growing up.

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Speaker 1: And so for you guys to see me now as

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Speaker 1: a twenty nine year old woman, that is no longer

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Speaker 1: my case. So this may resonate with a lot of you, Um, weezy,

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Speaker 1: what about you? How did you feel like they're about

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Speaker 1: to be like these man just got no God. That's

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Speaker 1: why I got the home show. So, um, most of

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm black in Israeli. My father is super Jew,

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Speaker 1: so when marrying someone who's Jewish, you have to convert.

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Speaker 1: My mom converted. My mother is a black one. And uh,

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Speaker 1: you didn't catch on from a few episodes back. Um.

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Speaker 1: I grew up going to the synagogue mainly high holiday

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Speaker 1: jew If you guys have ever heard that term Rashashana,

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Speaker 1: pass Over, etcetera. Um, But I think that the reason

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Speaker 1: I never got to deeply invest in Judaism was because

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Speaker 1: I watched how they treated my mom. Um. I grew up,

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Speaker 1: was born in San fran Um. Then we moved to

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Speaker 1: Miami and then Orlando, and every synagogue was just kind

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Speaker 1: of like this very shady thing. It was really hard

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Speaker 1: and not inclusive because I didn't speak Hebrew. My dad

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Speaker 1: tried to teach me, but there was nobody to like

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Speaker 1: talk me, talk back with me Hebrew. Um. So as

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Speaker 1: I got older, like twelve thirteen, my mom and I

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Speaker 1: started going to church together, but sneaking because she really wanted.

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Speaker 1: She missed church, and she missed it how she knew.

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Speaker 1: So we went with my aunt rest in Peace and

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Speaker 1: my grandmam, me and my mom to New Destiny UM.

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Speaker 1: And I loved it. But I think that as I

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Speaker 1: got into later teens, I realized I was only using

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Speaker 1: God when things were bad. My mom got really sick

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Speaker 1: and it was like that's when I felt like God

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Speaker 1: was necessary, and then bad things would happen and I

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Speaker 1: felt like, okay, well he's not helping me. And of

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Speaker 1: course it's the questioning is God real? Um, not to

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Speaker 1: mention getting into my sexuality um, and realizing that it

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Speaker 1: wasn't accepted right because I was dating a girl and

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Speaker 1: I loved women, So I know, I thought I was

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Speaker 1: really going to help drawls. I mean, but that's just

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Speaker 1: because I think so. Uh. In my early twenties, I

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Speaker 1: started looking into Buddhism because I felt like religion was

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Speaker 1: here to kind of keep everybody in check and I

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Speaker 1: needed to figure out how to not live a lawless life.

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Speaker 1: But what's gonna keep my karma bankful? And I really

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Speaker 1: believe that because I've made efforts to try to be good,

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Speaker 1: that I receive it back. So I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's a god or anyone who wants me to do it,

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Speaker 1: But I mean I just genuinely tried to make efforts

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Speaker 1: in my life, UM, bet are for people that aren't me,

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Speaker 1: for no one who can help me. And so because

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Speaker 1: I do that, I think that's why I've been so blessed. UM.

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Speaker 1: But I don't believe in a god, um, mainly because

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Speaker 1: I I think that as I've grown to learn many religions,

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Speaker 1: I see how judging everyone's been on Theirs and then

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Speaker 1: Hindu of course with many gods, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: all these people can't be wrong. So so I want

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Speaker 1: to know how I picking high though I figured out

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Speaker 1: Mother Nature's god. We're actually um when we get into

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Speaker 1: the horrible decision and really dive into your background, UM,

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Speaker 1: I definitely want to ask you, um, how you grew

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Speaker 1: up and and things like that. We're gonna deep dive

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Speaker 1: into that later on in the show. UM. I did

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Speaker 1: want to get into our vanilla ship. So for those

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Speaker 1: of you who are tuning in for the very first

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Speaker 1: time and came out here to listen to Corey L. Scott, UM,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna talk now. This is this comes from the

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Speaker 1: New York Times. Our vanilla ship, by the way, is

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Speaker 1: sex in the news. Um, And we just had Reisi

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Speaker 1: insid on our podcast from the Unofficial Expert podcast, Love Them,

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Speaker 1: and we talked about kind of our take on the

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Speaker 1: t I situation. So, according to New York Times dot com,

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Speaker 1: after the rapper t i S remarks, New York may

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Speaker 1: ban virginity tests. Legislation was introduced after the rappers said

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Speaker 1: he subjects his daughter to a yearly Himan exam, sparking

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Speaker 1: outrage on social media. State lawmakers are considering barring doctors

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Speaker 1: from from performing so called virginity testing after widespread backlash

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Speaker 1: followed the rapper tis recent disclosure that he takes his

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Speaker 1: daughter to see it get ganna cologists every year to

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Speaker 1: ensure that her hymen is still intact. His comments last

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Speaker 1: month sparked a national conversation around a procedure that scientists

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Speaker 1: have long denounced as bogus and unsupported by evidence, as

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Speaker 1: well as a violation of women's rights. UM. I actually

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Speaker 1: brought this up because the conversation around virginity is one

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Speaker 1: that's had I wonder if he checking his son's booty hose.

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Speaker 1: You know, you don't He's not checking his sons. No,

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Speaker 1: he's not. He's to make sure that because they might be.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, go ahead, I'm with it, go ahead here.

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Speaker 1: I mean so, so I listened to that episode, and UM,

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Speaker 1: I don't have any kids because of course, Um, man

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Speaker 1: can't get pregnant, Thank you God. Um you want to adopt,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna half kids, but I just don't get gotten out. Now.

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Speaker 1: If man could get then I probably have as many

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Speaker 1: as my father, which is a lot. Yeah. Um, but

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Speaker 1: I have daughters that are my sister's children. UM. Shout

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Speaker 1: out to my sisters who allowed me to co parent

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Speaker 1: with them. Um. And my oldest is fifteen, she'll be sixteen. Um.

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Speaker 1: And I was so fucking mortified at hearing that this

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Speaker 1: is the most disgusting thing that a father could ever

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Speaker 1: do as it relates to a daughter. Um. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I try very diligently to steer clear of a lot

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Speaker 1: of pop culture drama. UM. And so I didn't opine

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Speaker 1: online or anything, but I mean it was hard to miss.

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Speaker 1: But I just think that it's despicable. And so go

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Speaker 1: ahead with your question because I already know where so

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Speaker 1: virginity is discussion the church. Um is what I want

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Speaker 1: to discuss about, and it says when the Bible uses

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Speaker 1: the word virgin it refers to an unmarried person who

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Speaker 1: has not had sexual relations. UM. For those of you

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Speaker 1: who do read the Bible, Um, you guys can look

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Speaker 1: at esther too too and Revelations fourteen four. UM. In

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Speaker 1: today's culture, many people use the word virginity to express

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Speaker 1: sexual purity. UM. The Bible defines sex outside of marriage

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Speaker 1: as a sin because it is a form of sexual immorality. UM.

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Speaker 1: And you can look that up in First Corinthian seven

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Speaker 1: to UM and it says so therefore, Christians are not

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Speaker 1: to engage in sexual relations at all outside of the

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Speaker 1: boundaries of marriage. So that's touching on two things. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to talk a about virginity and how maybe you

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Speaker 1: teach it or have that conversation with you know, your

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Speaker 1: fifteen year old cool So the idea of virginity in

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Speaker 1: the biblical context or the religious context, like the first

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Speaker 1: sing Um, I know you're gonna ask later about how

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Speaker 1: I interpret the Bible and how I interact with it

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Speaker 1: and everything like that. UM. I am not a person

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Speaker 1: who agrees that the Bible is the absolute word of God.

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Speaker 1: It did not descend from the sky, from the hand

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Speaker 1: of God delivered to us um. And and that's just it.

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Speaker 1: It's pure, it's complete, it's absolute. Get the funk out

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Speaker 1: of here. I'm not supposed to curse. My brand manager

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Speaker 1: told me not to curse. You an't got to um.

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Speaker 1: But no, it's it's like, you have to understand what

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Speaker 1: the Bible is before you start trying to control people's lives. Right,

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Speaker 1: the Bible cannot be used outside of context. And in

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Speaker 1: order to understand context, you gotta understand history, you gotta

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Speaker 1: understand language, you gotta understand patriarchal societies and all of

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Speaker 1: those different things. In order to understand why there's a

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Speaker 1: premium place on women's virginity and not men. Women are

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Speaker 1: seen as items of control that belonged to men, right,

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Speaker 1: and in Near Eastern um societies, in ancient times, and

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Speaker 1: still in some instances now, women are seen as commodities, right.

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Speaker 1: And if I was going to marry you off, I

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Speaker 1: don't get premium price for you if you're not a virgin,

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Speaker 1: and so the value exchange. Right. If you look at Genesis,

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Speaker 1: when I want to marry somebody's daughter, I had to

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Speaker 1: get cows and goats and and and everything, and be like, bro,

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Speaker 1: here you go, this is with your daughter's word, and

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Speaker 1: then I would acquire you. It was a it was

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Speaker 1: a business transaction between men who believe they owned their daughters,

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Speaker 1: who believed they owned their sisters. Right, And so if

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Speaker 1: you were not a virgin, I would I might, I

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Speaker 1: might get six less rims. I'm might. Yeah, there, you

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Speaker 1: might want to give me some damn spotted goats because

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Speaker 1: I need premium goats and premium and so so it

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Speaker 1: starts like you gotta understand that context. And then like

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Speaker 1: we can go through all of that historical stuff and

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Speaker 1: and we've our way down to Puritanical and Victorian societies

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Speaker 1: when we get these ideas about purity and chastity and

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Speaker 1: again the value of a woman's body with no attention

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Speaker 1: to men, and we wonder why we have these ideas

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Speaker 1: that men can do any and everything and and there's

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Speaker 1: no stigma, no negativity attached to it. But women, you're whore,

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Speaker 1: you get a scarlet letter, you can't hang with my daughter.

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Speaker 1: All of these things about women's purity, and so like,

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Speaker 1: having understood all of that, I practice a sex positive theology,

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Speaker 1: which is really biblically based. At the beginning, the Bible

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Speaker 1: says be through going multiply. There was no wedding ceremony.

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Speaker 1: God just told him go fun kids, go ahead, daddy

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Speaker 1: out here with my daddy out here with nine. He

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Speaker 1: was listening to the world, but not like seriously like.

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Speaker 1: The Bible is very sex positive in its beginnings, right

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Speaker 1: songa Solomon, it's about sex, mm hmm, talking about a

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Speaker 1: woman's rest and getting all hot and bother. It's about sex, like,

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Speaker 1: and then we get later where stuff is attached to it,

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Speaker 1: and people who scholars believe had their own hangups with

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Speaker 1: sex make it hard for all of us. But here's

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Speaker 1: the thing I'm gonna I'm gonna just cut this right here, right.

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Speaker 1: I am a disciple of Jesus. If you can tell

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Speaker 1: me what Jesus said about sex, That's why I'm gonna land.

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Speaker 1: That's why I'm gonna operate. Outside of that, I'm probably

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Speaker 1: not gonna give too much credence. So what's crazy is I?

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Speaker 1: Right now? I look at the Bible and almost kind

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Speaker 1: of anything. Um, me and the guy that I'm kind

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Speaker 1: of dating right now, we m When I was in

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Speaker 1: d C, we went PhD I went to UM the museum, UM,

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Speaker 1: the African American Museum, and we're looking at all these artifacts,

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Speaker 1: the slave ships with the numbers, and he's like me,

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Speaker 1: we question everything, and so even with the Bible, to me,

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Speaker 1: it's nothing but maybe a game of telephone. For those

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Speaker 1: of you who have never played telephone, yeah, I know,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. This is why the Christians don't be liking me.

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Speaker 1: I agree. So I'll explain real quick for those of

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Speaker 1: you who may have never played telephone. Telephone is a

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Speaker 1: game where you sit in a circle. It can be

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Speaker 1: anywhere from five to five to thirty different people. And

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Speaker 1: what it is is you start off with one message,

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Speaker 1: it's literally one sentence, and what you do is you

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Speaker 1: whisper in the person's ear next to you and you

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Speaker 1: tell them what exactly what the person just said verbatim,

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Speaker 1: and you go around the circle. And what happens when

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Speaker 1: you get to the last circle, the person says what

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Speaker 1: he was told. And every single time I played that game,

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Speaker 1: the message has always changed by the time he got

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Speaker 1: to the last Curious to know, carey, We've heard the

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Speaker 1: telephone thing with the Bible for years, right, like this

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Speaker 1: is something that we've all agreed on, But I want

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Speaker 1: to know what you do believe. Is there a New Testament?

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Speaker 1: Is there any part of the Bible that you feel

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Speaker 1: like it is helpful to your congregation? Yeah? I believe

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Speaker 1: that the Bible is here for us to learn and

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Speaker 1: to grow and to and to be the people who

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Speaker 1: God has created us to be. But anything that is

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Speaker 1: created can be abused and used outside of the purpose

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Speaker 1: that it was designed for. The Bible a car, like

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Speaker 1: I could take this phone and throw it and hit

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Speaker 1: you in your damn the weapon it And so the

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Speaker 1: Bible has been used that a right. And again you

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Speaker 1: have to understand historically what we've gotten today in order

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Speaker 1: to use it correctly. Don't nobody just like you don't

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Speaker 1: pick up something and just go use it like That's

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Speaker 1: why they have instruction manuals, That's why people get pH

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Speaker 1: ds and masters and divinity and and do post docs

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Speaker 1: study and all of these different things about the Bible.

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Speaker 1: But from most black folks, especially, we get what we

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Speaker 1: referred to as uninterrogated inherited theology. How is it that

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Speaker 1: you can still believe in the Bible be sex positive

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Speaker 1: and judgment free, because like, I don't find if if

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Speaker 1: I'm following the example of Jesus, who I professed to

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Speaker 1: be a disciple of. Like, how is that different than

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Speaker 1: Jesus When when Jesus deals with sex, the three times

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Speaker 1: that he does is what what? What did you say? Sex? Positive?

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Speaker 1: Non judgmental? Like they catch a woman having sex, bring

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Speaker 1: her to Jesus and Jesus starts writing on the ground,

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Speaker 1: and everybody, one by one they're they're about to stoner,

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Speaker 1: and one by one they started walking away. Jesus says,

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Speaker 1: if you're without saying cast the first st bro, they

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Speaker 1: just called her having sex and you're trying to let

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Speaker 1: her off. What But that's Jesus, And so people want

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Speaker 1: me to preach hell and damnation about sex when Jesus

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Speaker 1: doesn't do that. When he's at the whale with this

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Speaker 1: woman who, for for every historical market that we have,

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Speaker 1: is a sex worker, she had no the woman at

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Speaker 1: the whale have five husbands and the one she was

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Speaker 1: with wasn't her husband. Why would somebody have five husbands?

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Speaker 1: What sense did that make? It points to her being

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Speaker 1: a sex worker. And Jesus isn't there judgmental with her.

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Speaker 1: He ain't like, girl, you know you're going to hell,

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Speaker 1: you didn't had five husbands and he didn't even go there.

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Speaker 1: She gets smart with him and he clapsed back, like

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Speaker 1: if you knew who I was, you really wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: going that hard like that, right. I love how you

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Speaker 1: like decipher And yeah, I mean it's great to hear

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Speaker 1: like I think sometimes when getting into religious conversations and

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Speaker 1: examples that we're setting, etcetera. Um, it's great to hear

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Speaker 1: that someone has faith because I mean we just talked

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Speaker 1: about how we don't even Jesus but and still can

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Speaker 1: be this person. Do you find that, like, have you

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Speaker 1: received a lot of backlash? Absolutely? It's and it's has

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Speaker 1: it been beyond the Internet because the Internet with your mama, listen,

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Speaker 1: I get a lot of backlash on the Internet. I

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Speaker 1: get a lot of backlash, And like in the personal relationships,

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Speaker 1: family relationships all the time, Um, I have to come

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Speaker 1: to a point where I said to myself over and

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Speaker 1: over and over and over again, I don't need anybody

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Speaker 1: else's permission or affirmation to be who God created me

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Speaker 1: to be. And it's so crazy because we get a

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Speaker 1: lot of like, um letters in our d m s

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Speaker 1: and even people who just you know, hit us up

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Speaker 1: and are like I wish I could live as freely,

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Speaker 1: but I grew up in the church and so a

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Speaker 1: lot of people actually use it as a hindrance. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to actually speaking of which UM, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: get into our kink of the Week this week. UM.

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Speaker 1: The kink of the Week this week is actually a

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Speaker 1: Reddit letter UM, so shout out to reddit dot com. UM.

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Speaker 1: The question is is it okay to be kinky and Christian?

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna read the letter, and I wanted to

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Speaker 1: talk about again. We talked about King's Nasty Ship, so

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Speaker 1: let's talk about how how godly are guy may or

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Speaker 1: may not be? I was wondering what Christians think of

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Speaker 1: being kinky. If you are in a monogamous heterosexual marriage,

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Speaker 1: is it okay to practice b DSM. Jesus didn't have handcuffed,

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Speaker 1: although I am not a Christian. They had I say

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Speaker 1: this ship. I'm curious and hope that this question can

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Speaker 1: be taken seriously and answered fully by mature people. My wife,

425
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 1: who was raised in a Baptist household but has been

426
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 1: an atheist since college, thinks that it should be okay

427
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 1: to be kinky. I come from a Catholic family, but

428
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: have also been an atheist since high school. I think

429
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 1: that Christianity. Christianity might conflict with kink because it could

430
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: be seen as hedonistic or sexual without reproductive intent, and

431
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 1: I want to talk about that as well. From our conversation,

432
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: I gathered that Protestant Christians are a bit less trict

433
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: about sex than Catholics, but I am not certain can

434
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 1: Christians be kinky? And so I did want to talk

435
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: about that, um, because I have heard from the Bible

436
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: that technically sex is created to reproduce. Um. We clearly

437
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:52,159
Speaker 1: talk about sex in every way except reproduction because we

438
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,199
Speaker 1: are pro choice around here. UM. So I wanted to

439
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: ask you what have you seen, as you know, either

440
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 1: growing up or now that you are a part of

441
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 1: a congregation Christians thoughts on kink lifestyle. So it probably

442
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,360
Speaker 1: doesn't come up. Um. It certainly doesn't come up with

443
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 1: me and the community that I lead, because I think

444
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: we concentrate too much on what other people are doing

445
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,239
Speaker 1: in their bear room, my your own damn business, Like

446
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 1: why why are you worried about what other people are doing?

447
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 1: But for the sake of the questioner who has asked

448
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: that i'd be mature, um, let me again. Level set.

449
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: There are at least twenty examples of marriage in the Bible,

450
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: twenty different examples of marriage that don't necessarily look like

451
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 1: what we think marriage is today. Twenty different examples. So

452
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,719
Speaker 1: when you talk about a heteronormaty of marriage, which one

453
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: are you talking about, bro? Because I can point to

454
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 1: twenty different examples. Is it the one where I married

455
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: you because your father forced me to, or I may

456
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: are you because I want you? Or I marry you

457
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: because you were married to my brother and didn't have

458
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: no kids and so now I'm supposed to impregnate you.

459
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: Or is it the version that I marry you because

460
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 1: you were poor? And uh? Picking up, she's a week

461
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,919
Speaker 1: in the field? Which which which? Which version of this

462
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 1: marriage are we? Is it because I married you because

463
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: I was a great warrior and now I'm the king

464
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 1: and you were, you know, the king's daughter. I really

465
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 1: love you, and so I married somebody else after I

466
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 1: killed her husband. Um, and like, which version of marriage

467
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: are we talking about? But like that, that's where I

468
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 1: get a lot of pushback from Christians. When I started

469
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 1: asking scholarly questions, how long how old are you? By

470
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: the way, I am thirty five, two weeks ago. How

471
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 1: how long is it have you been studying the Bible

472
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: to where you realize you are well versed amongst us?

473
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: So we've been. I've been in ministry since literally since

474
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 1: I was eight UM, and started really studying the Bible

475
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: kind of in a way that most Christians and then

476
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: most typical Christian ministers do from that young age. When

477
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,959
Speaker 1: I got to college, I started studying from a scholarly

478
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: academic perspective, and so eighteen to thirty five has really

479
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 1: been like scholarship time on task, like studying in undergrad

480
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 1: having access to study in the graduate School of Divinity

481
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: at Howard University, Right, Paul, Because I'm excited to get

482
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 1: into exactly your not only relationship with God, but your

483
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: position in the church UM as a black, gay male

484
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: and kind of what you've had to fight during these

485
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 1: years from tons of years. But before we hopp into

486
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 1: the to the le decision, um, which is you? UM,

487
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: I wanted to go ahead and let you guys know

488
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: that this week's episode is also brought to you by Lola. UM.

489
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm actually excited that Lola has sponsored our show throughout

490
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: the year. UM. I'm not sure if any of you

491
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 1: have noticed, and it's a research that me and my

492
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,959
Speaker 1: friends have done recently. Um My pussy has been agitated

493
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 1: recently by the tampons that I've been buying in the

494
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 1: goddamn grocery stores for as long as I can remember,

495
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: one of the everyone wears. But that's what I'm saying.

496
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but my my vagina

497
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: recently has been irritated by by day two, which is

498
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:45,719
Speaker 1: actually my my heaviest flow, I start getting in irritations,

499
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: not a use infection I don't like, and it's literally

500
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 1: only during my period. I just start getting really dry

501
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 1: and irritated down there. And I have actually used our

502
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: own goddamn promo code UM to now get Lola. Lola

503
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: does have UM organic tampons UM, so you don't have

504
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: all of these other things that are being put into

505
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,719
Speaker 1: our vaginas, which I think is very important. UM. And

506
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 1: also Lola does also have a sex brand, so they

507
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 1: have organic globe, they have personal sized news that you have.

508
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 1: They have condoms UM that may or not irritate you. UM.

509
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: Of course everyone's body is different, but I appreciate it.

510
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: And it is a female owned company, so I definitely

511
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: want to support UM more than ever before with our

512
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 1: promo code. Now you can now get thirty percent off

513
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: your first month subscription. So visit my Lola dot com

514
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 1: and enter this promo code. It's w d P three zero.

515
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: I know UM before we had another promo code that

516
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: only gave you guys like fifteen or twenty percent off,

517
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: but we are now giving thirty percent off. So when

518
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 1: you guys use the promo code, make sure you use

519
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: w d P thirty when you subscribe UM. The box

520
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: comes very um discreete, so you can have it delivered

521
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: to your job if maybe you feel like you miss

522
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 1: packages at home and it comes discreetly so they don't

523
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 1: know that you're getting lubes, condoms or tampons. UM. But

524
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: again it's something that I'm now using because you have

525
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 1: these tampons are up. So again, thank you Lola for UM,

526
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: you know, supporting this week's episode. And now back to

527
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 1: you and the MOI. UM. So, yeah, we really asked

528
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: them great questions before getting here, and I now want

529
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: to know, yeah what she said. You said you went

530
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: from eighteen to thirty five to where you've technically been

531
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: in the congregation? Yes or no? As so I've been

532
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: a minister since since eighteen. Yes, okay, did you grow

533
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: up in the church. I did since I was seven.

534
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: What about your parents? So? No, my parents were heathen.

535
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 1: That's why they had all them heathen. So much that

536
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: was out there just sex. And then you like your

537
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 1: parents had no influence on you being a church. No.

538
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: So I went to a vacation Bible school and then

539
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 1: scared the hell out of me, and I didn't want

540
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: to go to Hell, so I had to find Jesus quick.

541
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: This is not the beginning of religious trauma syndrome. Now

542
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 1: I have a friend who actually studies religious trauma syndrome.

543
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: That's probably an example that I'll talk about with her.

544
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 1: But literally, I was scared. I did not want to

545
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: go to Hell. So I started going to church when

546
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: I was seven, after this vacation Bible school, and then

547
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: I started taking my siblings to church with me. My

548
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: first ministry assignment, I was eight or nine years old

549
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 1: on the Ancessory Prayer team. I preached my first sermon

550
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 1: at eleven um. When when did you game? So I

551
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 1: always like people ask me this and and and they

552
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: think I'm b sing or something. So I always thought

553
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: boys and girls were equally unattractive or attractive, right, And

554
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: I saw it was disingenuous for guys to be like, oh,

555
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: she's cute, she's cute. He's ugly. But you can't say

556
00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 1: he's cute. You're a lie nigger, right Like. It didn't

557
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 1: make sense to me. So I just thought guys were Yeah.

558
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: I thought guys were cute. I thought girls were cute.

559
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: Nothing strange to me. Um. It wasn't until I got

560
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: to high school where you know that little hormone stage. Uh.

561
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: And I was and I was an athlete and in

562
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: practice I saw one of my boys and I was like,

563
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 1: that's a little woman. Oh my god. Something was up. Um.

564
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: But but um, and so I probably started realizing it

565
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 1: maybe in the eleven twelve years old I knew that

566
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 1: I was. I mean, before that, I still thought guys

567
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 1: were cute. I thought girls were cute, no problem. And

568
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 1: there was no outside influence, no voices telling me about

569
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: sex either way, right, So there was there was none

570
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: of that going on. So I was just growing up

571
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: and a boy was cute, the girl was cute. Do

572
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: you remember at all any time going into the church

573
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: and maybe them having that conversation about homosexuality at all. No,

574
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: my church, Um, my church wasn't that homophobic, like Fire

575
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: and Brimstone. If you're gay, you going to health type church. Um,

576
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: that might be because our minister of music. I didn't

577
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 1: know this growing up, but our minister of music was gay,

578
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 1: So that might be why. Um, we didn't get a

579
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: whole lot of that. But I had a very progressive

580
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: church at that time that believed a little more differently

581
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 1: than other churches. So maybe that played into it. I

582
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: don't know, because back then I wasn't having theological conversations.

583
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: So I the first time I sexually engaged with the guy,

584
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: I was eighteen. It was right before I was getting

585
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 1: ready to go to college, and it was over the summer.

586
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: I saw this boy on the bus and he was

587
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 1: mad cute. Not mad cute, he was mad cute and

588
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,720
Speaker 1: he was looking at me and I was looking at him,

589
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: and he was looking at me, and I was looking

590
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: at him, and he was I was like, hold up,

591
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: what's happening. And we got off the bus at the

592
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 1: same time, and like he came over and spoke to me,

593
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 1: and that you know, that energy was there and was

594
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: that your first time experience? Yeah, it was and I

595
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 1: let him give me hit um. Thank you guy. It

596
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 1: was all down here, It was all Did you Did

597
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,320
Speaker 1: you have this feeling of guilt after it happened? Probably?

598
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so far from that experience that I

599
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 1: don't even remember those I can't. I can remember key

600
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 1: points later where the guilt stuff changed my life in

601
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 1: different ways. But probably it's so funny your experience with

602
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,959
Speaker 1: church and saying that you went to a progressive church

603
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: actually um helped you because to me, my church, I

604
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: could say was progressive, but in the middle of me

605
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: going to church, my pastor went through a divorce because

606
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 1: he cheaches on his wife and it was very public

607
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 1: and news. And so to me, I'm like, my pastor

608
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: who's preaching the word, isn't a living by the word

609
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: he's preaching. And so to me to to experience that um.

610
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: And then of course he was driving a hummer. So

611
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 1: there was also a question into the financials of our

612
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 1: supermagor that I went to. And so this to me

613
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 1: actually led me to believe that mcrit and that the

614
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 1: hypocrisy and that it was nothing but a way for

615
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,800
Speaker 1: people to make money, especially because there also is a

616
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 1: separation between state and the church, and so a lot

617
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: of things are written off, a lot of things they

618
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: don't have to pay for, they don't get taxed. I

619
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: carry that. I carry that with me everyday pastoring all

620
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,879
Speaker 1: of those, all of the examples of people who use

621
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: the church for financial good um to the mismanagement of

622
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: the church's finances, Like I carry, like how pastors did

623
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: things that they preached against and then demonized people that

624
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,439
Speaker 1: did it in the congregation. I carry like the hurt

625
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 1: of my friends who were told if you were gay,

626
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 1: you were going to hell. The reason you have HIV

627
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,359
Speaker 1: is because God is punishing you. Like all of these

628
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 1: different things, I carry them presently with me all the time.

629
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:34,280
Speaker 1: I carry when church leaders have sexually abused other people

630
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: and so like all of that stuff is always present

631
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: with me, and I'm always walking very very circumspectedly, so

632
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 1: I'm never that guy, like I don't even like like

633
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 1: now people jump at my d M s and they're like, oh,

634
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: I knew you from when you were you know, you

635
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: preached here or you were acquired here, and then they

636
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,840
Speaker 1: find out I'm gay, And then there in my d

637
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: M it's a hard pass because you know me in

638
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: the context of ministry, so that it's not even a

639
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:04,240
Speaker 1: line I cross. Are you? Are your parents proud of you? Yes?

640
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my mom is like one of my

641
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: biggest fans. My mom started learning more about sex and sexuality,

642
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: about having the same gender loving son, like, so that

643
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 1: she could be an advocate for me. Right. One of

644
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 1: the most beautiful things that has ever happened. Man. My

645
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 1: mom called me one day and she was acting real

646
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: weird on the phone. She was like, UM, you have

647
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 1: to get this email. And when you get the email,

648
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: just respond to it. And I'm like, Mom, what is

649
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 1: the email? But when it comes you will know. Just

650
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 1: respond And I'm I don't deal, like, like, girl, tell

651
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: me who emailing me? What they right? And she was like,

652
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: when you get it, just respond. And so I got

653
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: an email from her company and they were inviting me.

654
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 1: They were asking actually our shirt sizes for T shirts

655
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 1: for the parade. I cried. I was like, oh my god,

656
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: you can. My mom invited me to do that. She

657
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: wanted to walk in the Pride parade with me. Yeah.

658
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: And then when she did and I'm like crying. And

659
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 1: when I called her and told her, she was around

660
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:33,359
Speaker 1: my sisters and my sisters, was like, what we're going

661
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:36,879
Speaker 1: to like and it became it became a family thing,

662
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 1: and so so that's my mom my dad. On the

663
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 1: other hand, my dad counseled counseled me through my first

664
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: gay breakup. He called me while the dude was trying

665
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 1: to break up with me over the phone and I

666
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: was like, I'm like, Daddy, like I cannot talk right now,

667
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 1: Like I'll call you back. He was like, what is

668
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: wrong with you? What's happening? And I was like, this

669
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,720
Speaker 1: boy is breaking up with me, and so he was like, Okay,

670
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 1: when you're done on the phone, just call me back.

671
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 1: So the boy broke up with me. And he actually

672
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: broke up with me because I was okay with the

673
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 1: idea of having a threesome and he was like, you

674
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 1: would have a threesome so we were together, you would

675
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 1: and he was like the fact that you would even

676
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: like that you like threesomes, and he broke up with me.

677
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 1: I was in love with him and he broke up

678
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 1: with I want to ask you that question, then, do

679
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: you not conform to monogamy? And is that and how

680
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 1: do you teach them or not? Don't teach it. I'll

681
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:41,439
Speaker 1: get I'll get there, like monogamy for for me, like no,

682
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 1: it is not, it's not. And again there are twenty

683
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,760
Speaker 1: plus different examples that are non monogamous in the Bible.

684
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 1: How can Abraham have a wife and a concubine, Right,

685
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 1: my wife couldn't get pregnant, so I'm gonta sleep with

686
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:01,799
Speaker 1: her servant to get her pregnant. That's like handmads. That's right.

687
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: That then Isaac right, he marries two women. Right, he

688
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 1: wants to marry one sister. The father tricked him, so

689
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 1: he then has to work seven years and marries the

690
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: second sister, has kids by them, and then when they

691
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: can't have kids no more, he has kids by their too.

692
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 1: So the same Bible. So what's crazy is I think

693
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: we get confused monogamous. So one of the great examples,

694
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,280
Speaker 1: like one of the one of the good Bible three

695
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 1: is the message Bible. It's a great, Okay, the message

696
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 1: it's it's like straight language, not these and stuff. My

697
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:49,360
Speaker 1: grandfather actually um bought me a Bible. Um that was

698
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 1: more English, like American English, like to read. I don't

699
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: know what the language it may be the am like

700
00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 1: gold pages. But of the okay, easy to read. Whatever

701
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: monogamy it's there, it is there. Monogamy does not exist

702
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,800
Speaker 1: in the way that we think of it. And so,

703
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, right, that is between you

704
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: and your partner and what you all are able to

705
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,839
Speaker 1: work out that is best for you, that is not

706
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 1: harmful to either you or your partner. That is the

707
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: context of being sex positive and practicing a sex positive theology,

708
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: that it is not violent or harmful to either of

709
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:37,479
Speaker 1: us that are participating in this. And so um, while

710
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 1: I operate best in monogamy, that might not be the

711
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 1: case for you. And and and that's not my my

712
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: business to tell you that you're going to hell or

713
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:51,399
Speaker 1: it's against the Bible, because it's actually not. There are

714
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: most of the patriarchs in the Bible that start the

715
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 1: faith have multiple lives, So get the funk out of here.

716
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,879
Speaker 1: I have another question. I feel like, if you want

717
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 1: to give it, fine, but I'm really curious, how do

718
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: you feel about abortion. I don't have a vagina. I

719
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 1: don't have a vagina, and so if I felt the

720
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 1: way about abortion, I would have to feel a way

721
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 1: about masturbation. Mm hmmm. Because niggas is out here aborting

722
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 1: all the time then, and so that goes back to

723
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: your question, that goes you asked, you asked I'm serious

724
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 1: you asked earlier about sex for the purpose of procreation

725
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 1: and where that idea comes from. It is based in

726
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: a biblical idea. But we take stuff way too far right,

727
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 1: And again it's about context. The context that Israel establishes.

728
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,719
Speaker 1: We're trying to build a nation. The way to do

729
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 1: that is to have kids. If you're not having sex

730
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 1: for the purpose of having kids, it's a sin. Okay,

731
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 1: sex for kids, that's it, right, that's the established that's

732
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: the established protocol being fruitful and multiply um. Abraham's descendants

733
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: are supposed to be as many as the sands on

734
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 1: the beach and the stars in the sky. So everything

735
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 1: they think about having sex is for the purpose of

736
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: having kids, y'all. Gon y'all gonna be in these comments like, oh,

737
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 1: so right, they're gonna they're gonna drag me. And so

738
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: what happens is there's a person who, right, they the

739
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,760
Speaker 1: Bible mandates like if you're if you have a brother

740
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 1: and your brother does not have children, right, you have

741
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 1: to marry his wife. Even if you've got a wife

742
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: and have kids with her because we're supposed to be multiplying,

743
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: And sands on the beach and stars in the sky.

744
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 1: And there's one dude, right Marris's brother's wife, and has

745
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: sex with her. But he pulls out and spills his

746
00:44:56,120 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: seed his semen on the ground and God, God is

747
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 1: obviously upset with him, and it's a sin. And so

748
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 1: from that story, the Catholic Church derives this idea that

749
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:13,280
Speaker 1: if you're not having sex for the purpose of coach procreation,

750
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,320
Speaker 1: then it is sinful. So what do you what after

751
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 1: I can no longer have children, am I supposed to

752
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: stop having sex? What if I have some physical ailment

753
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 1: that prevents me from being childbearing? Am I not supposed

754
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 1: to have Like we don't ask or answer any of

755
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: these questions when we start having these theological ideas and

756
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 1: concepts that wrapped people's lives up in these damn presses.

757
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 1: I want to know, like wrapping up the horrible decision

758
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 1: the best thing you read in the Bible that you

759
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: live by and the worst, the worst thing I've ever

760
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 1: heard was like you have to like live at a

761
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 1: different house when your wife's out a period. Yes, And

762
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 1: I'll be asking people when people be like, you know,

763
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 1: not buy by fast, how my sexual it is, and

764
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 1: I buy my nation and I'd be like them clothes

765
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: you got on in that shrimp. You just an abomination

766
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: to ye. You still when was the last time you

767
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: put your wife, your girlfriend, your baby mama out the

768
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:14,439
Speaker 1: house for two weeks when she was on her cycle? Nick, No, no, no, no.

769
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 1: You know the Bible man dates that she has to

770
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: be out for two weeks. I know your cycling two weeks,

771
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 1: the seven weeks, but you were still unpure and so

772
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 1: you had to be you had to be outside of

773
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 1: the camp for two weeks. So so whatever you were saying,

774
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 1: not that, I didn't have appearance, So I wasn't going

775
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:50,319
Speaker 1: to look. That is if you're not doing that, If

776
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 1: you're not doing that, if you're not putting your significant other,

777
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 1: your your mother, your wife, your daughter out for two

778
00:46:56,520 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 1: weeks while she's on her who if a woman has

779
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:03,839
Speaker 1: a cycle she asked to be outside, that is insane. Yeah,

780
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 1: so we don't, So we're doing none of that. Y'all

781
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 1: could just leave me alone. What's one of the best

782
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,439
Speaker 1: what's one of the best things that you've been able

783
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 1: to because of the Bible For real Jesus. Yeah, that

784
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 1: that that that that's that's probably that's probably one. But

785
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 1: one that hits me all the time is when Jesus

786
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 1: asked a couple of questions when I was hungry, did

787
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 1: you feed me? When I was naked? Did you clothe me?

788
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,759
Speaker 1: When I was sick or in prison? Did you visit me?

789
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 1: And they were like, Jesus, when were you ever sick

790
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: or hungry or naked or in prison or any of that,

791
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,840
Speaker 1: And he says, I'm not talking about me, but whatever

792
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 1: you did to people who were in that situation, you

793
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 1: did to me. Jesus was real sarcastic, just like I

794
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,320
Speaker 1: try to be a disciple in the most purest of

795
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 1: the sense um and something that really drives my life

796
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,920
Speaker 1: like that, I can't I can't walk by homeless people

797
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: and and and treat them less than human, Like I

798
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: had a situation where somebody called me from jail and

799
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:04,439
Speaker 1: I was upset, and then check myself, like Jesus said,

800
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 1: if you were in prison, did you visit me? Like

801
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 1: if you weren't going to accept the call, you definitely

802
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 1: weren't gonna visit. So what are you doing? And you

803
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:14,040
Speaker 1: call yourself a pastor I don't even write let him

804
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 1: you gotta fella, fella, you gotte just tell him hit

805
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: him up. That's what Jesus said. You really drives. I

806
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 1: have always noticed one major thing when people could walk

807
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 1: by someone eating out of the trash can. I can't neither,

808
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 1: I can't. I understand, I can't help everybody, but I'll

809
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 1: be late. I can't where I gotta. I mean, And

810
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 1: if you pass a homeless person, just look them in

811
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 1: their eye and say, I'm sorry, I don't have anything,

812
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 1: good morning, excuse me acknowledge their humanity. Like, just do

813
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:56,959
Speaker 1: that and see what happens, and then we are all

814
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 1: a few pay taxes away from me a homeless bro

815
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: straight up the night. Be happy. Before we get out

816
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 1: of here, we are going to get into our homemail.

817
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 1: If you guys want to UM send us a homemail,

818
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 1: please do so in our email. It's our easiest way

819
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: to keep up with all of your letters. So that

820
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 1: is horrible decisions at gmail dot com. This one actually

821
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 1: came UM, and thank god it came to our email

822
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,720
Speaker 1: from a patron. I'm super excited. This one is relationship tension.

823
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:39,800
Speaker 1: I recently got into a very heated fight with my boyfriend.

824
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 1: It got very disrespectful, almost to the point of getting physical.

825
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,919
Speaker 1: That's very unlike us, and I'm really sad it got

826
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: to that point. During the argument, I said some really

827
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: hurtful things that I regretted as soon as I said them.

828
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: It wasn't the typical one word insults. It was things

829
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 1: I had been sitting on for a while, and he

830
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,279
Speaker 1: could tell I know it really hurt him because it's

831
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 1: a touchy subject for him. I apologize multiple times, and

832
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,320
Speaker 1: he apologized to me as well. We're okay at the moment,

833
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: but I still feel the tension between us and feel

834
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 1: awful that I can't take back the things I said.

835
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 1: I want to emphasize that him and I have been

836
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 1: together for almost six years now and we have never

837
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 1: ever disrespected each other, even during fights. The guilt of

838
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 1: hurting him is really eating at me, and I don't

839
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 1: ever want to do that again. How have you guys

840
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: gotten past anything like this in your relationships. I can't

841
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: help but feel like I changed our dynamic and I

842
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: don't know if we can come back from it. Um no, no,

843
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: so so out. I'm also a life coach, and so

844
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: here are for people in relationships. Here are three rules

845
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: that I have for conflict in relationship. One One, we

846
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 1: argue about what we're arguing about and nothing else. If

847
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 1: it's about the trash, it's about the trash. If it's

848
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,240
Speaker 1: about the TV being left on, it's about the TV.

849
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:00,919
Speaker 1: Don't bring up the trash when talking about the TV.

850
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,880
Speaker 1: If I've had an issue with the TV, bring up

851
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: the TV at that time. We argue about what we're

852
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:12,720
Speaker 1: arguing about, nothing else, and so, and it will force

853
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 1: you and will force you to deal with stuff that

854
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 1: you got going on and not do what this right

855
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 1: what this writer says that she did, which was it

856
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: was stuff that she beant harboring and stacking chips to

857
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:32,720
Speaker 1: hold water. If you we argue about what we're arguing about,

858
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 1: nothing else, So so deal with the stuff that you

859
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 1: got to deal with at that time. Number two, you

860
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 1: don't get to characterize or name called during an argument.

861
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: Ain't none of that. You You get to talk about

862
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 1: how you feel, You get to talk about how something

863
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,399
Speaker 1: made you feel, You get to talk about how you

864
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:54,400
Speaker 1: interpret it. But you don't get to call me names.

865
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 1: You don't get to characterize me. You can ask a

866
00:51:57,120 --> 00:52:00,760
Speaker 1: couple of questions. That's it. Because we've taken right now,

867
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,879
Speaker 1: because that is exactly why you're in the position. You're

868
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:08,400
Speaker 1: in feeling guilty now because you said something that you

869
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 1: knew would hit hard for somebody that you love, and

870
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:14,319
Speaker 1: of course you would carry some guilt about that. So

871
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,799
Speaker 1: that's just out. You gotta figure out another way to

872
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 1: communicate other than calling and characterizing people, like when you

873
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:24,279
Speaker 1: do that, like that stuff never goes away for you

874
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 1: or them. So we argue about what we're arguing about,

875
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: no name calling, no characterized, And the last thing is

876
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: the time out. Like if we're in the argument and

877
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 1: it's getting too heated, either of us gets to call

878
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,440
Speaker 1: the time out, which means an hour I walk away

879
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 1: from you, you walk away from me, and in an

880
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 1: hour sixty minutes we come back and we have this conversation.

881
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:51,720
Speaker 1: You gotta deal with whatever you gotta and not longer

882
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 1: than that. You gotta deal with whatever you if you

883
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 1: need to symp if you need to do some yoga

884
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, Like no, because what tends to

885
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 1: happen is if I can just call an indefinite time out,

886
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 1: I can walk away from this and we don't have

887
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 1: to deal with whatever it is. But the time out

888
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 1: is only for an hour. Either of us gets to

889
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,359
Speaker 1: call it when we do the other stops. You don't

890
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: get to make no more comments. We're gonna We're gonna

891
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: hire you as as the coach for this podcast here

892
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 1: saying some ship that honestly like like like we then

893
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,919
Speaker 1: I just got um, you know, into just debate. There's

894
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:30,319
Speaker 1: a lot going on with the tour, with building a

895
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 1: team with with with just a lot I guess when

896
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:37,440
Speaker 1: you have a business um specifically one UM. And I'm

897
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,680
Speaker 1: not going to talk about how much money we brought

898
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 1: in this year, but it was a whole lot um

899
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 1: And so I know they say, you know money, you know,

900
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 1: more money, more problems, and the idea that it does

901
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 1: bring happiness has been one that I've found now not

902
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 1: to be true. UM. And so yeah, we've been back

903
00:53:56,239 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 1: and forth with with our communication as well. This really

904
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 1: so I I have a certification and conflict resolution and

905
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 1: mediation right, and so communicating in any relationship is probably

906
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,920
Speaker 1: one of the most important greets and how you communicate,

907
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 1: and so that's why I have those three established rules

908
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:22,399
Speaker 1: for relationships, especially romantic relationships, like I don't I don't,

909
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 1: I just don't do that at all. I'm not calling

910
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: people names, like, I'm not characterizing, like I'm not bringing

911
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 1: up subterfuge from other arguments. And if you operate that way,

912
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 1: you deal with whatever the issue in front of you

913
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:37,799
Speaker 1: is and and then that's and that's it, right, And

914
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:41,400
Speaker 1: so the resolve for that is like, you're gonna feel guilty,

915
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 1: and that should shape your actions. That's just shape how

916
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 1: you reflect on the next time you get to that

917
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 1: point where both of y'all are heat it and I'm

918
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:53,800
Speaker 1: about to say something again that I know I'm gonna regret,

919
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 1: and you have the immediate past regret to reflect on.

920
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:01,839
Speaker 1: So I don't get great. I don't have no no

921
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 1: answers for you, except that it affects how you move forward.

922
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 1: I hope that that he's cool and that you all

923
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,640
Speaker 1: can continue to grow. If he's hurt or there needs

924
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:14,919
Speaker 1: to be some healing or whatever they're then y'all got

925
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 1: to do that work. But there's no quick fix, no

926
00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 1: easy answer to that. That was that that was beautiful. No, honestly,

927
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: she probably should have like that was beautiful and that

928
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:28,240
Speaker 1: was actually something that probably couldn't have come at a Patreon.

929
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 1: Before we get out of here say again, where our

930
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:36,280
Speaker 1: listeners can find you at? What projects you have going one?

931
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,920
Speaker 1: Drop your church again because listen Chicago. We have a

932
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 1: huge following in Chicago. Yes, they love us out there

933
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:46,960
Speaker 1: and we come into Chicago like we have a big

934
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 1: following there. I know they're going to be at your church. YEA,

935
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:56,879
Speaker 1: God bless you. So you can find me on all

936
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 1: social media platforms at Corey L. Scott actually trying to

937
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 1: find you and could you elaborate c O R Y

938
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: L S C T T no e. My mama knew

939
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:10,800
Speaker 1: how to spell, she need no extra letters. Corey L.

940
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:14,280
Speaker 1: Scott Instagram, Twitter, Um, if you add me on Facebook,

941
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:15,839
Speaker 1: I'm probably not going to add you because I don't

942
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 1: know you. So and so. So my Instagram is only work, um,

943
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 1: grapevine stuff. Uh, the projects that I got going on

944
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:32,360
Speaker 1: right now, thank you. My book just um recently. It

945
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 1: is the counterculture devotional, The Journey to Being the person

946
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 1: Guy created you to be. It's a thirty day devotional,

947
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 1: um that just give thirty lessons that help get to

948
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 1: being the person you were created to be. It's not

949
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:48,600
Speaker 1: really heavy, Um, it's real easy to get through. UM.

950
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:51,279
Speaker 1: So that is happening right now it is actually how

951
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 1: I'm living and paying my bills and all of that.

952
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 1: So please buy my l dot com. And so I'm

953
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 1: trying to be like y'all when I grow up, right.

954
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 1: I am launching my own podcast next year, my Brilliant Friends,

955
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:11,919
Speaker 1: and it's actually gonna be a podcast about friendship from

956
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,360
Speaker 1: the lens of my friends that have different expertise. You

957
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 1: were the first person I've heard in a long time

958
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 1: describe eloquently what their podcast is about. Yeah. I do

959
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 1: like that. People are like, it's gonna be about my friends.

960
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: We're just gonna talk about the little It's funny, And

961
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 1: I said that, Um, I did the Gotham podcast seminar

962
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:32,160
Speaker 1: and they were coming up asking questions and it wasn't

963
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 1: until I got to one and he eloquently not only

964
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 1: said the name of his podcast, but what it was

965
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 1: about after introducing himself. And I'm just like for you

966
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 1: to have a brand and no specifically who you are,

967
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 1: who your audiences, and what you're getting to somebody. It's

968
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,240
Speaker 1: it's so we know where we're gonna get ourselves into. Yeah,

969
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 1: So it's gonna be about friendship from my friends different

970
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:56,360
Speaker 1: professional lenses. So friends that are doctors will talk about

971
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:59,479
Speaker 1: how you're a friend when you have a friend who's

972
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 1: going through terminal illness, or friendship when you do. Yeah,

973
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about all things friendship because we got

974
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 1: a podcasts that talk about sex, we got podcasts that

975
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 1: talk about relationships and please different stuff. So I really

976
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 1: value friendship a great deal. So, my brilliant friends dropping

977
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 1: in two thousand twenty, I appreciate you, UM for all

978
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 1: of you guys listening to this week's episode. I also

979
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,480
Speaker 1: want to let y'all put the as holes. No, we're

980
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:33,280
Speaker 1: pulling up to motherfucking Boston this week, so we will

981
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 1: see y'all Thursday, that is December the twelve. There are

982
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 1: still tickets available, so please go to Horrible Decisions dot

983
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 1: com Boston. We want you all to turn up, turn out.

984
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 1: This is our first time in Boston, and y'all also,

985
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 1: anybody who is listening to this that does video and

986
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 1: takes photos send us a d M to the Horrible

987
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 1: Decisions Instagram, UM, and hopefully you can put together some

988
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 1: b roll for the show. Yeah, so I'm excited again.

989
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 1: If here in Boston, please copy your tickets now. UM,

990
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 1: we will be at the Summerville Armory. Also, that is

991
00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 1: our last show of twenty nineteen. UM, for you guys

992
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 1: who aren't hip on it, we will be in Detroit

993
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 1: on January eighteenth. We will be in Cleveland on January

994
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:22,360
Speaker 1: and Cleveland, we need you all to copy these tickets.

995
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 1: I need to go hold you. I looked at them today,

996
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,080
Speaker 1: like maybe we ain't gonna go to Cleveland. I don't

997
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,320
Speaker 1: call the agent, like Cleveland ain't sucking with us. I

998
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 1: don't know. So Cleveland caught them tickets. Then we're right

999
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 1: back and motherfucker's Chicago, Um whatever you and they just

1000
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 1: ask the ticket is we have a dope show plan

1001
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,280
Speaker 1: for y'all. Um. And then on the twenty second, we're

1002
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 1: going too shy town. Y'all are not disappointing, y'all. Y'all

1003
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 1: are up there with them numbers look good. So Chicago,

1004
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 1: We're looking forward to seeing y'all. And we're in Chicago.

1005
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 1: You have to come, Corey, Yeah, you have to. We're

1006
00:59:57,440 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 1: gonna come make you give a scriptures. Okay, when when

1007
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 1: people when I'll be when when when when God permits

1008
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:12,080
Speaker 1: me to have sex? Um? And people will be you

1009
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 1: in the moment and they'd be like, oh my God,

1010
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I'm not God. I just worked for him.

1011
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:27,720
Speaker 1: You're annoying, of course, thank you so much, thank you.

1012
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 1: Transformer Church Chicago. Transformer Church Chicago will be down. They also, guys,

1013
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,280
Speaker 1: we added a second show so New York that's January.

1014
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 1: Cop your tickets now. We live at Motherfucker's Sony Hall

1015
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 1: is sold out. Um, depending on how tickets work, if

1016
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 1: people want to exchange, you may be able to still

1017
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 1: come on they so keep checking that link. It is

1018
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 1: at Horrible Decisions dot Com. Also shout out to Dallas,

1019
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 1: y'all coming then through them tickets bigger than Houston. I'm like, okay,

1020
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: Dallas really love us. So Dallas shut out to y'all

1021
01:00:56,680 --> 01:01:00,240
Speaker 1: will be there already, right, I'm like, Houston, y'all, y'all

1022
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,480
Speaker 1: don't want Dallas to beat y'all host because they look

1023
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 1: in nice in Dallas. So Dallas will be there February

1024
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 1: the twentie, and then Houston we will see you one.

1025
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 1: All the other cities for the West coast and southeast

1026
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: will drop them dates in January. Again. Shout out to

1027
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 1: our patrons. If you want to become a patron, go

1028
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 1: ahead log in patreon dot com Backslash Horrible Decisions, you

1029
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: get another three episodes per month. Um. Also, we're gonna

1030
01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 1: leave you guys in a five minute bonus club, Corey,

1031
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 1: thank you so much for having this motherfucking conversation with us.

1032
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 1: You are a blessing to us and I love you

1033
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:34,560
Speaker 1: and thank you. I hope you guys enjoyed this week's episode.

1034
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:37,880
Speaker 1: If you guys have any questions or comments, please lock

1035
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 1: them in the SoundCloud in the YouTube under core L

1036
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 1: Scott's Instagram pay. If you're in the mood for some

1037
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:46,560
Speaker 1: mortgage ship, our next episode coming, you can listen to

1038
01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 1: it right now. It's about to drop on Patreon. Teat

1039
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 1: Alex's Fuck You're gonna hear this five minute clip in

1040
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:56,120
Speaker 1: the episode of Your patron by And he also told

1041
01:01:56,120 --> 01:02:00,040
Speaker 1: me that, um, in his hometown, there's a place in

1042
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:04,400
Speaker 1: the woods. The locals know about it, but you can

1043
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 1: go into the woods and there's a third and you

1044
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:11,960
Speaker 1: can literally get your someone's like normal. I can't remember

1045
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 1: what it was, but it's like a blue background. And

1046
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: my friend used it in New York to figure out

1047
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:19,440
Speaker 1: what son is. He could get his dick sucked in.

1048
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:23,440
Speaker 1: Do you know what I remember there used to be

1049
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 1: something called like squirt that would show you like squirt

1050
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 1: dot org. But I don't even know if that exists.

1051
01:02:29,640 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 1: But I know that you can literally just type like

1052
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 1: gay cruising areas, and that's the thing. Um, I've never

1053
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:44,440
Speaker 1: used it. I just know of this find thee Yeah,

1054
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 1: but you can also you can just kind of google

1055
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:52,160
Speaker 1: it go to USA. Oh is it a sign we

1056
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:57,080
Speaker 1: might have to sign to New York City on the right. Yeah?

1057
01:02:57,800 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 1: Oh damn, okay, every good Harbor Hawaii, you and the

1058
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,640
Speaker 1: three gay guys there. But you can kind of address

1059
01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:11,760
Speaker 1: as easily like Google, like, but the thing is intown

1060
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Mazes. Yeah. I will say though, a lot of

1061
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 1: this probably isn't like as busy as you would think,

1062
01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:22,520
Speaker 1: because like now people are just like usually using There's

1063
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: thirty comments, there's a hundred comments to the New York

1064
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 1: Marriott east Side on forty nights, there's comments. This website

1065
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 1: also been around for like twelve years. Okay, so I

1066
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:37,800
Speaker 1: think a lot more people are using apps, and I

1067
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:41,320
Speaker 1: think that like cruising as you're gonna wait, let me

1068
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:44,800
Speaker 1: read off this. Hot spots, bars, clubs, beaches, hot springs,

1069
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 1: Jim's Hotels, campgrounds, groups, nudists, joe leather, wash rooms, cottages, bathhouses,

1070
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 1: saudist theater's, bookstores, sex truck stops and rest areas and parts.

1071
01:03:54,720 --> 01:04:03,400
Speaker 1: What is joe jo jerk off jerk off groups? And

1072
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:05,680
Speaker 1: that's that's something too that I found out that a

1073
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 1: lot of gays do where they're not necessarily touching each other,

1074
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 1: but they have jerk off parties. And like, my friends

1075
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 1: told me about this and I didn't know it was

1076
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:16,480
Speaker 1: like a thing. And he's like, yeah, I'm getting together

1077
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:18,720
Speaker 1: and we're having a jackoff party. And I was like,

1078
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:21,160
Speaker 1: what the fuck. And he's like, and I'm not gonna

1079
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:22,720
Speaker 1: say which friend it was, but he's like, yeah, they'll

1080
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 1: be like four of us, like that's like the minimum,

1081
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 1: but sometimes they can get to like twelve of us

1082
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:29,360
Speaker 1: and they're all just in a room and they're moaning

1083
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:31,760
Speaker 1: and jacking off until everyone just squirts everywhere, but no

1084
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:34,360
Speaker 1: one touches the other. They're just kind of jacking off

1085
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 1: in front of each other. That I think, like also,

1086
01:04:37,760 --> 01:04:41,360
Speaker 1: like that's exhibitionism byers, and I want to, like I

1087
01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:45,000
Speaker 1: want to suck somebody. They'll know. I've been to like orgies,

1088
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:47,400
Speaker 1: I've been to a lot of sex parties I hosted, like,

1089
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:51,040
Speaker 1: uh orgy once in my apartment. Um, how big is

1090
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,720
Speaker 1: your apartment? It's not a huge, but like a orgy?

1091
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 1: Like what, so, how many people do you need for orgy? Like? Yeah,

1092
01:04:57,280 --> 01:04:59,040
Speaker 1: I was there was like maybe like eight of us

1093
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:02,720
Speaker 1: untild like at one time. I live in I live

1094
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:04,800
Speaker 1: in Queens, but like right on the border. I don't

1095
01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 1: even know anyone live there, so like Ridgewood Bush work,

1096
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:11,360
Speaker 1: I only go to Queen's really not it's not big.

1097
01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 1: It's not like big, it's like definitely more space, and

1098
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,160
Speaker 1: I would like find something then you will find in Manhattan,

1099
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,600
Speaker 1: like tell us about your orgy? Had you met them before?

1100
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:22,120
Speaker 1: Um so some so on that somebody had added me

1101
01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:24,640
Speaker 1: to it. I don't know. I don't know if they

1102
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:26,640
Speaker 1: found me on grinder because you can kind of link

1103
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 1: it to your Instagram, right, but somebody had ended me Yeah, yeah,

1104
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,080
Speaker 1: you can link it to your Instagram because like people

1105
01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 1: always want to see and also like you want to

1106
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:37,360
Speaker 1: get a really clear idea because somebody sends you four

1107
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 1: or five pictures that might not be what they look like.

1108
01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:41,760
Speaker 1: So I want to I want to go on Instagram.

1109
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:45,840
Speaker 1: I want to look at pictures I want, Yeah, yeah,

1110
01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:47,840
Speaker 1: I want to see like videos I want to I

1111
01:05:47,920 --> 01:05:49,560
Speaker 1: might want to hear where your voice sounds, like if

1112
01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:55,000
Speaker 1: if I can't like that video like factors into your

1113
01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 1: attraction for somebody. Um. But somebody had added me to

1114
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:03,160
Speaker 1: an Instagram group that was like basically meant for coordinating

1115
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:07,360
Speaker 1: like group sex um. And I'm like, you responded, do

1116
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 1: you want to say? Hell? Yeah, like I'm trying to.

1117
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:15,160
Speaker 1: I think probably I had chatted with them on Grinder first,

1118
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:17,280
Speaker 1: and I think maybe they asked me, and I was

1119
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:19,040
Speaker 1: like down. I was looking at the guys. I'm like, Okay,

1120
01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:19,520
Speaker 1: they're cute