1 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: You would you tillion pieces? 2 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:22,759 Speaker 2: Would you. 3 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 3: Welcome to bananas Mini sod. I think we're doing confessions, 4 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 3: I CURTI b you feel like doing confessions? 5 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 2: Oh you do you do a confession? 6 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 4: I got a story, I got a I could do 7 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 4: a story story for us if you had to. 8 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 3: So Tonuban animals who are listening to us on SITR 9 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 3: Premium for your first minisode the deli, Oh, is it's 10 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 3: your stories or your confessions? If you say it's a confession, 11 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 3: we never say who it is from, so you can 12 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 3: be as wild as you want, even though, like we 13 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 3: always say, if you killed somebody, we're calling the. 14 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 2: Cops, and then you're stories. We will say who it's from. 15 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 3: If you want us to credit you, we thank everybody 16 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 3: from sending it in. What is the general theme of 17 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:07,759 Speaker 3: your story? 18 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 2: What is meaning? 19 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 4: What is it kind of about animals? 20 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 2: Yeah? I haven't of course it's about animals. 21 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 4: I feel like the majority I don't even realize I'm 22 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,839 Speaker 4: doing it. That the majority of stories on the podcast 23 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 4: I bring up our animal related and I honestly don't 24 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 4: realize I'm doing it. And I also realized that when 25 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 4: I started comedy, all of my comedy was just about animals. 26 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 2: Pretty much been a zany zoo keeper. You missed your car. 27 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 2: Maybe you can volunteer at the zoo when you're an 28 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 2: old guy. Yeah, oh, I would love to volunteer at 29 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 2: the zoo. 30 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 4: I've come around to zoos, you know, I have as 31 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 4: a as a as a kid, I loved them, and 32 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 4: then as a as a teen, I was like, there 33 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 4: are they're animal jays of course, And then now now 34 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 4: that I have children and we go, I see all 35 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 4: the conservation work that they do. 36 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 2: And also with the zoo. We don't hate the zoo zoologists. 37 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 2: We love animal people. Yeah. 38 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 4: We just want to make sure zoos are taking care 39 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 4: of animals. That's what That's what Pod the Bananas has 40 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 4: always come down as yep. We always want to make 41 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 4: sure that animals and zoos are taken care of. 42 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,519 Speaker 2: That's the main point of this podcast. 43 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 4: Big oh absolutely all right, I got a good one. 44 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,519 Speaker 4: Are you ready, Scottie hit me? Just remember it I 45 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 4: drunk dial. This comes in from Pierced p pierced D 46 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 4: on Instagram. D just remembered I drunk dialed the banana 47 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 4: phone when I was visiting my dad in Florida her 48 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 4: Father's Day thousands. Did you know liquid courage and all? 49 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 4: I left a voice small, but it's probably made no 50 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 4: sense at all. So here's my minisod story submissions. My 51 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 4: father's been a veterinarian for over forty years and wonderful, wonderful. 52 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 4: This guy's great All creatures great and small? Did you 53 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 4: ever read All Creatures Great and Small? 54 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 2: Growing up as a did not? Don't know that one, 55 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 2: but I can imagine what it's about. It's about a 56 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,399 Speaker 2: well farm doctor, a farm veterinarian. 57 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 3: We are pro farm veterinarians on banana, we will all. 58 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 4: And also the one thing that we're also very pro 59 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 4: is always stating what we're pro and what we're cone about. Okay, 60 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 4: we're con we're we're against invasive species, pro animals, really 61 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 4: going for it, that's right. 62 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 63 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 4: Back when I was in middle school, nineteen ninety eight, 64 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,120 Speaker 4: question mark. He was doing a routine dental on an 65 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,239 Speaker 4: Irish wolfhound and noticed it had a protrusion in its 66 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 4: abdominal area. 67 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 2: The best stop. The dental took the dog to the 68 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 2: X ray. 69 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 4: What they saw on the radiograph was a large foreign 70 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 4: body mass and the stomach with a distinct s shaped 71 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 4: wire in the center. He called the owner to inform 72 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 4: her he needed to perform emergency surgery. Foreign bodies are 73 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 4: extremely dangerous and often fatal if untreated. She agreed, and 74 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 4: Dad whistaway the wiry, giant horse like dog back to 75 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 4: the o R. 76 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 2: They're huge. I've never seen I don't know if I saw. Oh, 77 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 2: they're incredible. I love those dogs, so. 78 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 4: Bigger or smaller than a Great Dane. Small, a little 79 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 4: smaller than a Great Dane, but around the same size, bigger. 80 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 3: They're the biggest dogs. They're so tall, there's crazy tall. 81 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 3: They are the calls dogs. There's one in my neighborhood 82 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 3: and I wave at it all the time. 83 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,559 Speaker 2: Love that dog. They're huge. 84 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 4: After the abdominal area had been disinfected and prepped for surgery, 85 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 4: he carefully made the first incision with his scalpel. To 86 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,839 Speaker 4: his surprise, a plush arm popped out. He said it 87 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 4: was like a scene from Alien. He made the incision, 88 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 4: a little wider reached in to grab the object, and 89 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 4: out popped a perfectly preserved, aside from some blood and 90 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:45,479 Speaker 4: food matter, stuffed Burt Toy Okay, then Ernie Oh Good, 91 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 4: followed by eleven more stuffed animals of various kinds my god, beanies, babies, bears, etc. 92 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 4: As well as an entire sky of yarn. Yes, this 93 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 4: crazy dog had an obsessive compulsive eating disorder and loved 94 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 4: swallowing toys. 95 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 2: Hole no chewing, no chewing. 96 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, my dad put them all in a bag to 97 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 4: show the owner when she arrived to pick up her dog. 98 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 4: Post so bizarre she insisted on keeping them, so she 99 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 4: took them home, washed them, and put the bag on 100 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 4: display in her garage. She then called the local news station, 101 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 4: who were fascinated by the whole ordeal. They came to 102 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 4: my dad's vet clinic to interview him, and later that 103 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 4: night the segment aired. In the following day, the story 104 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 4: was then picked up by CNN. There was my dad 105 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 4: was on national news talking about this crazy dog. How 106 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 4: it a thirteen stuffed animals and a sky yarn hole 107 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 4: like a fucking python. Fun fact that did not make 108 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 4: the news. And this is what makes this story truly bananas. 109 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 2: Oh good, I like it. 110 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 4: A few months later, that crazy ass dog got back 111 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,480 Speaker 4: into that bag of previously eaten toys. 112 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 2: And eight seven of them again the hole. 113 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 4: So my dad had to operate on this horse dog 114 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 4: once more. 115 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 2: And firmly recommend the odor. 116 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 4: Keep all stuff, toys and yards, guide and balls out of. 117 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 3: Reach, which is hard to do with a wolf found 118 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 3: you got to hang out thing like ten feet in 119 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:10,679 Speaker 3: the air. 120 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 2: They're the coolest dogs. I love. I love big dogs. 121 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 2: I'm that big dog guy. Meet Dan. That's from Katie. 122 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 4: Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the story as much 123 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 4: as I do it, and I want and want to 124 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,720 Speaker 4: tell it on the podcast, like I told my entire 125 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,599 Speaker 4: seventh grade class the day after it happened. 126 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 2: Oh man, this is seventh grade gold story. This is 127 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,039 Speaker 2: great goal. 128 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 4: I hope they put you on their shoulders Katie and 129 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 4: paraded you around saying best story ever. 130 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 3: After this I had there was a young woman who 131 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 3: I became friends with. He was an aspiring writer who 132 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 3: moved to la and she would often prove read my scripts. 133 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 3: And so she gets this apartment. But she's new and 134 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 3: she was young, and one day she called me. She's like, 135 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,480 Speaker 3: this is so embarrassing, but can you drive? She didn't 136 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 3: have a car yet, and she goes, can you drive 137 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 3: me to like the mall or like the gallery or whatever? 138 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 2: And I was like, of course. And then so I 139 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 2: was like yeah, no problem. 140 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,479 Speaker 3: And I just thought she just needed a favor, and 141 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 3: so I pick her up a driver and I'm like, so, 142 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 3: what are you getting, like something? I thought she needed 143 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 3: something big or whatever, and she goes, So, my roommate 144 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 3: has a dog and it went into my laundry and 145 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 3: it ate all of my thongs. And I guess her 146 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 3: roommates dog ate women's underwear. And she told and her 147 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 3: roommate was like, really, yeah, it does that and it 148 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 3: ate all of her underwear like everything's doing. So so 149 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I guess you're not gonna wash 150 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 3: that wear it again. 151 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 2: She's like no. 152 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 3: So it took somebody I barely know to buy underwear 153 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 3: because her roommate's dog ate like twenty thongs. And I 154 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 3: was like, is that normal? And she goes for that dog. 155 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 3: It does it all the time. I guess. I'm like, 156 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 3: this is crazy to me, but I bet they are 157 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 3: listeners right now. They're like, yep, happens to me. 158 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh man. 159 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 4: I remember I had had two separate dogs at different 160 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 4: times growing up. But my first dog was Ruffles. My 161 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 4: second dog was Doogie Bowser K nine pretty good too, 162 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 4: and Ruffles was And this is why I like worry 163 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 4: about getting a dog, uh for my kids when they're 164 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 4: too young, because I feel like I got Ruffles when 165 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 4: I was too young. And then also was like, because 166 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 4: my mom worked all the time, I was left alone 167 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 4: with the dog far too often. Yes, because I was, 168 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 4: you know, six years old, seven eight years old, I 169 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 4: didn't have the I was my brain wasn't grown enough 170 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 4: to properly handle ruffles like by and and also Ruffles 171 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 4: distinctly did not like me from the beginning, Like right 172 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 4: when it was a puppy, Ruffles, Ruffles. I was holding Ruffles, 173 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 4: and probably I was doing it wrong because I was 174 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 4: probably seven or something, and Ruffles squirmed out of my 175 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 4: arms and fell to the ground and broke its little legs. 176 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 4: And then we had they had a little a thing 177 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 4: on a cast on for six weeks, and then we 178 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 4: got it off. And then I was holding Ruffles again, 179 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 4: and then Ruffles jumped out of my arms again, broke 180 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 4: the other leg, Ruffle, and then he had the cast 181 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 4: on and uh, and so it's like that it's adorable. 182 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 4: Still feel bad, And that's I think what cemented Ruffles 183 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,320 Speaker 4: hatred of me. 184 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 2: So you broke dog's legs unintentionally and uh. And all 185 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 2: I wanted. 186 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,079 Speaker 4: Was like a dog that would that would like cuddle 187 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 4: with me, you know. But I was like a rambunctious boy, 188 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 4: and I think my cuddling was far too rough and uh, 189 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 4: and it hated it. And so the main thing Ruffles 190 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 4: liked to do was just sit under the bed and 191 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 4: not come out from underneath the bed when my mom 192 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 4: wasn't home. And so then I would put socks on 193 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 4: my hand and try and pet Ruffles, because Ruffles would 194 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 4: just attack my hand and like hard bites, hard bites, 195 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 4: but I would not stop, like just trying to pet 196 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 4: the dog, just trying to pet the dog, and the 197 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 4: dog is of course terrified and defending itself like it's 198 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 4: in its home and it's hovel, and a hand just 199 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 4: keeps coming in there as an eight year old trying 200 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 4: to pet it. All I wanted to do was love it. 201 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 4: And in fact, what I'm doing is torturing this dog, 202 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 4: do you know what I mean? And I'm just trying 203 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 4: to pet it. It's like like just going to town. 204 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 4: And I was like that was our whole relationship, where 205 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 4: we would be like he wouldn't he wouldn't see. But 206 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 4: then but I was still very attached. And I remember 207 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 4: I was in eighth grade and and my mom calls me. 208 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 4: I was hanging out at Jeff Foy's house and it 209 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 4: was like an eighth grade party, and my mom calls me. 210 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 4: This pouring rain, yeah, and and she calls me and 211 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 4: she's like, I gotta come pick you up. And I 212 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 4: was like why. She's like, I just have to come 213 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 4: pick you up. And then she comes to get me 214 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 4: and Ruffles. My aunt, who's a nun, had come home 215 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 4: and let Ruffles out. She'd open the door and Ruffles 216 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 4: had just took off and ran across the street got 217 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 4: hit by a car and tragic. And I guess I'm 218 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 4: at that time thirteen and very emotional. And my mom 219 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 4: picks me up and tells me, I'm destroyed about it, 220 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 4: because again, I've had this dog since I was like 221 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 4: six years old or whatever, even though the dog hated me. 222 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 4: But I do remember just being like no and getting 223 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 4: out of the car and it's pouring rain. 224 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 2: It's I just I mean, I'm waiting for moments like. 225 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 4: This, Yes, scream crying in the rain, running along the ocean, 226 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 4: just like just running and not stopping for like a 227 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 4: mile pouring rain and my mom just slowly following behind me, 228 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 4: like waiting for me to get it out of my system. Yeah, 229 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,320 Speaker 4: and then getting back in the car. Yeah, did it 230 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 4: right there? And then it's also a very dramatic way 231 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 4: to get rid of It's very dramatic. It's a very 232 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 4: only child way. 233 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 3: You had no sibling, goes, Hey, you're acting really lame. 234 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 4: Right exactly exactly, No, it was just like boring. 235 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 3: Oh well, ruffles lived, lived and died on the edge 236 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 3: just by its own by its own rules. 237 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 2: It happens. Ri ip ruffles, r I p ruffles. 238 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 3: Here'swan Okay, I did have an animal one. I'm glad 239 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 3: you said that. This is from Black Mayor Dame. Okay, 240 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 3: thank you, Black Mayor Dame. When I was eighteen years old, 241 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 3: I worked in this high end hair salon in a 242 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 3: small central German town. 243 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 2: What do you think that is? 244 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 4: I couldn't I here what that means high and hair salon. 245 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 4: I can imagine what that is like piece of cake 246 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 4: to understand that part. Yeah, but what is central Texas 247 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 4: German town? Like I know we have Solvang and I 248 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 4: know like different I think in Georgia, like Rome Georgia 249 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 4: is a little bit weird and like Scandinavian or something. 250 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 4: But what is I couldn't think of a name for 251 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 4: a germantown in the Central Texas, but I'll figure out 252 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 4: one day. Anyways, worked at a high end hair salon 253 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 4: as the quote front desk girl end quote aka a 254 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 4: receptionist with many many other jobs other than just answering phones. 255 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 4: This is where I learned the art of taming ladies 256 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 4: and gents while still having the pleasure of being a 257 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 4: bit of a smart ass back to them, though they 258 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 4: thought it was charming. Insert eyrol. Clients wear a colorful 259 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 4: bunch of richie riches, eccentric folks of a higher status 260 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:45,599 Speaker 4: in my town. Picture women in chunky turquoise jewelry, incredibly 261 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 4: expensive trucks, and nose up attitudes to match. 262 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 2: I can picture it. I can't picture that I got 263 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 2: that very well pictured. 264 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 4: I wonder if this is a Central Texas town where 265 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 4: everyone wears a cowboy hat and just like the richer 266 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 4: people just wear like a fancy your cowboy hat. 267 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,319 Speaker 2: I hope so, I yeah, probably. 268 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:09,680 Speaker 3: I was fairly used to a few clients bringing in 269 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:13,560 Speaker 3: their tiny purse dogs while naming the salon owner's first name, 270 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 3: and claiming it would be okay with it, even though 271 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 3: it went against health code violations. Oftentimes they would get 272 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 3: their way and scoff with their shaking, shitty shitting purse 273 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 3: dog and a glass of wine while getting an eighty 274 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 3: eight dollar haircut, which you know, I imagine that's a 275 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 3: lot for a haircut. One day, I was restocking the 276 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 3: shelves and I heard a thumping behind me. 277 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 2: Mm hm. 278 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 3: So I spun around and I did not see anything. 279 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 3: I shrugged it off, thinking it could have been like 280 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 3: a child screwing around while waiting for their mother to 281 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 3: process the bleach blonde EXAs sized hair. Again, I hear thumping. 282 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 3: This time I whipped around as fast as I could, 283 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 3: and there it was a fucking kangaroo with a hot 284 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 3: pink cloth diaper on, hopping across the deck to its owner, 285 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 3: who had an iguana draped over her shoulder, like it 286 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 3: was no big deal. Oh yeah, says my coworker. We 287 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 3: just don't ask. Amongst us, we nicknamed Cruella. I mean 288 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 3: pretty I've never seen a kangaroo in a hair salon. 289 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 2: I think that's a pretty cool thing. 290 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 4: I'm going to put money on it that it's a 291 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 4: wallaby and not a kangaroo, because a kangaroo that would 292 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 4: be like bringing a deer like and I don't think 293 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 4: it's like they're size of deer. You know that you 294 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 4: don't have a deer a on like a on the 295 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 4: top of a table, but you could have you could 296 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 4: have a wallaby and they look exactly like kangaroos, they're 297 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 4: just smaller. 298 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 2: It's like a true joy. 299 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 3: I mean, if you got to see even a wallaby 300 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 3: in a are you kidding me? 301 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 2: Cloth diaper? 302 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 3: That's like this must have been before smartphones or a 303 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,760 Speaker 3: pick would have come along with this. 304 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 4: This is I mean, like there's so many questions like 305 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 4: how it seems so difficult to be able to get 306 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 4: a wallaby or kangaroo from Australia to a small, weird, 307 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,240 Speaker 4: small town in central Texas. 308 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want that, you know, let them live 309 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 2: out where they're from. 310 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 3: I guess Texas is probably a little bit like Australia, 311 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 3: a little bit more guns. 312 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 2: But yeah, oh my god, that's amazing. That's crazy. It 313 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 2: is it. 314 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 3: It's so there was a period out here where I 315 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 3: would go to this guy to get my hair cut 316 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 3: and he had the coolest shop and it had like 317 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 3: a screen door, like he was just like it, come 318 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 3: on in, it's like a porch, Come on in, and 319 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 3: he gave me He kept cutting my hair too short, 320 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 3: and his hair is really short, and there was a 321 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 3: like the second or third time I went in, I 322 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 3: was like, can you just like like take half an 323 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 3: inch off? And this isn't what period of to this 324 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 3: is twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen. 325 00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 2: Okay, so La, I moved from New York, New York. 326 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 3: Girlfriend used to cut my hair, and then I move 327 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,360 Speaker 3: out here as a single lad and go to get 328 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,159 Speaker 3: this guy. They're like forty five dollars haircuts. That's like 329 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 3: a pretty good amount for a guy with short hair, 330 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 3: and it was really bad haircut. So then I was like, 331 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 3: you know what, I'm gonna try this place across the 332 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,120 Speaker 3: street because this guy just doesn't listen to instruction and 333 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 3: the more he talks, the more he cut. So I 334 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,360 Speaker 3: go to this place across the street that I think 335 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 3: is out of business, but I walk in and as 336 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 3: soon as I walk in, I was like, I have 337 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 3: made a huge mistake. Everybody is wearing long like to 338 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 3: the shin aprons that are like hand sewn. Everybody's hair 339 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:43,120 Speaker 3: is styled with like palmade and like twirlly mustaches. This 340 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,200 Speaker 3: really lovely woman walks up to me and is like, Hi, 341 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 3: do you have an appointment? And I was like, I'm 342 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 3: just walking through. Can I do that? She's like absolutely, 343 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 3: Can I get you a whiskey? And I go sure, 344 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 3: So she pours me a whiskey. She's like, we have rye, 345 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,920 Speaker 3: we have this, we have this. This guy comes over. 346 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,199 Speaker 3: He turns me away from the mirror, back to the mirror. 347 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 3: He cuts my hair for an hour and a half. 348 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,119 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I hate that's so much most scissor cuts. 349 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,640 Speaker 3: He invites me to Chili Cookoff and Eagle Rocky. He's 350 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 3: just we're talking, talking talking. He uh spins me around, 351 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 3: you know. The whole time they're just asking me if 352 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:21,399 Speaker 3: I want stuff, like yeah, we're they're so cool. And 353 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 3: then they spin me around. It's as if he hasn't 354 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 3: cut my hair one d and twenty dollars. It is 355 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,200 Speaker 3: that they wanted. And I was like, I said, oh, 356 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 3: I thought. I was like, that's cool. And then I 357 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:37,679 Speaker 3: joked with the receptionist or the desk girl is a 358 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 3: as we've heard it called and uh, she was like, oh, yeah, 359 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 3: the whiskeys are free, so just the haircut for nothing 360 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 3: haircut and I could feel that he was like it 361 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,119 Speaker 3: was like he was just snipping it like it was 362 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 3: with like nail trimmers. But yeah, and but the whole 363 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,080 Speaker 3: thing was like, how cool is this? We have vinyl 364 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 3: records playing everything's dark leather and mahogany, and that's it was. 365 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,359 Speaker 3: So I went back to the other guy. So now 366 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 3: I still go to the other guy. And yeah, I 367 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,159 Speaker 3: had a heart to heart with the first guy. I'm like, 368 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 3: just show me what you're gonna do, and I'll say 369 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 3: yes or no. I'm not picky. I just was like, 370 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 3: you're giving me a buzz cut, and these guys are 371 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 3: charging me like way too much money for an experience 372 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,160 Speaker 3: that I didn't And also, do you want to sip 373 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,520 Speaker 3: a whiskey while getting your haircut? 374 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,480 Speaker 2: Do you want clippings going in your drink? 375 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,640 Speaker 3: Everybody relaxed, Just cut the hair, let us get out 376 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 3: of there. 377 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,199 Speaker 4: I remember I used to in New York City have 378 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 4: this hairdresser who her name's Jane, and she worked at 379 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:39,160 Speaker 4: like an old lady salon in the West Village. But 380 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 4: she was just like this rock and roller that like 381 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 4: had lived the life in New York City in the eighties, 382 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,119 Speaker 4: Like lived on the Lower East Side in the fucking eighties, 383 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 4: yes where it was just like still called Alphabet City 384 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 4: or whatever. The East village was still called Alphabet City, 385 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 4: and had. 386 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 2: The most insane. 387 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,560 Speaker 4: Stories of parties that she would go to good idea 388 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 4: for a book. 389 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,800 Speaker 2: Oh it was so she was so cool and wonderful. 390 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 4: This is the one thing that's one of the things 391 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 4: I miss about leaving New York City is her stories 392 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 4: about like I think there was a club shoes to 393 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,639 Speaker 4: go to called Destroy the Robots, and they're just like, 394 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,399 Speaker 4: that's such a great name for an eighties like punk 395 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 4: dance club. 396 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 3: The uh the woman that cut hair on Workaholics, Tina, 397 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 3: She would cut hair out of the She had like 398 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 3: a little salon in the back of her house, like 399 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,199 Speaker 3: a little office area. And I went one time and 400 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 3: she was doing the commercial for they did Hans and Franz, 401 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,919 Speaker 3: the old SNL characters, the bodybuilders like I Will Pump 402 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,640 Speaker 3: You Up, And so she had to restyle their wigs 403 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,160 Speaker 3: like it was back in the day. So she had 404 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 3: like masks, she had like heads and busts of of 405 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 3: Kevin Neelan and Dana Carvey, and I was like, can 406 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 3: I put one on? She's like yeah, so I just 407 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 3: like got my haircut while I'm wearing a Kevin kneel 408 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 3: In mask. It was one of the strangest but I 409 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 3: was like, this is I'm only going to get to 410 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 3: do this once. 411 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,879 Speaker 2: Oh, that's so funny. She's the best. 412 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 4: Well that's another marrinio. Send us to your animals stories, 413 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 4: Send us dm your your your confessions, dm us your 414 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,440 Speaker 4: Stories at our instagram The Bananas Podcast. You can also 415 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 4: email them The Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. Uh yeah, Scott, 416 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 4: anything else before we. 417 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 3: Go, Just thanks Katie Levine, Thanks full human Person, also 418 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 3: intern Lisa Maggott and big shout out to exactly write. 419 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:42,720 Speaker 5: Thank you, Banas. This has been an exactly right production. 420 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,160 Speaker 2: Produced and engineered by Katie. 421 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,160 Speaker 4: Levine, theme music by Kahan, and all of our artwork 422 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 4: is done by Travis Millard. 423 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 5: You can follow us on Instagram at The Bananas Podcast, 424 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 5: where we post stories every day and things that we 425 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,119 Speaker 5: don't cover on the podcast. 426 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,159 Speaker 4: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple 427 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,280 Speaker 4: Podcasts or wherever you get your pot. 428 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,399 Speaker 5: Cast and if you're interested in advertising on bananas, please 429 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 5: email us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. 430 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 5: That's the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.