Speaker 1: Look out, It's only Menus to be Buried with the Resurrection.
Speaker 1: Guess Who's back A caster once again, bringing back your
Speaker 1: favorite podcasters together for a special series of podcasts matchups
Speaker 1: in support of Red Nose Day. Money raise will help
Speaker 1: people live free from poverty, violence, and discriminate. Shows involved
Speaker 1: include Football, Ramble, Help, I sexted my boss, Dan Snow's
Speaker 1: History Hit, My Dad wrote a porno, The Guilty Feminist
Speaker 1: Homo Sapiens. Off Menu, Films to be Buried With, Ain't
Speaker 1: got a clue? Dame Baptiste questions everything and more. Hello.
Speaker 1: My name is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor,
Speaker 1: a writer, director, a bag handler, and I love films
Speaker 1: a lot. But today for comic relief, I'm joining forces
Speaker 1: with Off Menu for the second time to bring you
Speaker 1: this very special, one and only Menus to be Buried
Speaker 1: With The Resurrection. Was an absolute delight to get to
Speaker 1: hang out with Bed Crambell's and the Genie again and
Speaker 1: bring you this hour of absolute nonsense. You have the
Speaker 1: power to do something incredible this Red Nose Day, whether
Speaker 1: it's a little or a lot, this Red Nose Day.
Speaker 1: Your donation will help people here in the UK and
Speaker 1: around the world live free from poverty, violence, discrimination and
Speaker 1: support them with their mental health. This includes helping people
Speaker 1: right now in Ukraine and the mass displacement of people
Speaker 1: in many parts of the world. Head to Comic Relief
Speaker 1: dot com Forward slash podcast mashup to give what you
Speaker 1: can now. Alternatively, you can text podcast to seven zero
Speaker 1: two one zero to give ten pounds today. To donate
Speaker 1: ten pounds, text the word podcast to seven zero two
Speaker 1: one zero. Text cost your donation amount plus your standard
Speaker 1: network message charge, and one hundred percent of your donation
Speaker 1: will go to Comic Relief, of registered charity. You must
Speaker 1: be sixteen or over and please ask the bill payers permission.
Speaker 1: For full times and conditions, visit Comic Relief dot com
Speaker 1: Forward Slash Podcast mash Up. So that's it for now.
Speaker 1: I very much hope you enjoy this very special episode
Speaker 1: for Comic Relief of menus to be Buried with the Resurrection.
Speaker 1: Enjoy hello and welcome to men used to be Buried
Speaker 1: with the Resurrection. It is I Bret gold Scene and
Speaker 1: I'm joined back in aid of comic Relief by actors,
Speaker 1: stand ups, writers, podcasters, much people, fashion models and scholars.
Speaker 1: Please welcome to the show. It's only ped Lambells and
Speaker 1: the gd lovely. It's always lovely to see the order
Speaker 1: that you lead with. You led with actors this time,
Speaker 1: which was great and ended in scholars lovely both wonderful actors,
Speaker 1: but obviously putting them in order of importance. Welcome back
Speaker 1: to the show. It's lovely to see you both. How
Speaker 1: are you. Let's start with Ed very well, Thank you, Brett.
Speaker 1: I'm good. It's lovely to see you. And we're doing
Speaker 1: this on zoom. Of course, myself and James in the
Speaker 1: same room. You're not here, even though you're probably what
Speaker 1: twenty minute cab right away, i'd say less. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: a big shot. Yeah, I can't. I can't. I can't
Speaker 1: be in the same room as people anymore. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: sort of one of my it's one of my things
Speaker 1: in my rider. It does make filming difficult, but you'll
Speaker 1: not it's all the most was now just close ups. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The next series of Ted Last is going to be
Speaker 1: an absolute nightmare, isn't. It suddenly cuts the year and
Speaker 1: you're just on a beach somewhere, even though it's a
Speaker 1: seen filmed in addressing room, changing room. I don't really
Speaker 1: understand football. No, the Genie, How are you good? How
Speaker 1: are you good? Thanks? Happy comic relief this time of
Speaker 1: year again, it's our favorite time of the year. If
Speaker 1: you want to donate, I mean you really should. It's
Speaker 1: a native comic relief. This. This is one of the
Speaker 1: ACAST podcast mashups. Mash ups. Now, last time you were
Speaker 1: on the podcast The Genie, you had renounced stand up
Speaker 1: for good. I said, I'll never do stand up and
Speaker 1: I've never been happier. Yeah, how are you now? I
Speaker 1: think it's a year later. I feel that way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: way happier. But I have booked in some gigs. I
Speaker 1: knew you. I knew it. I knew you'd crack pathetic,
Speaker 1: pathetic announce meant to make I'm never doing standard. I
Speaker 1: knew you'd come crueling back, not as pathetic as winning
Speaker 1: an Emmy and then going and doing a half full
Speaker 1: pub gig that you'd have to. I'd say that's more pathetic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's worrying, I'd say, Brett. I'd say more pathet I
Speaker 1: will never leave stand up. I will never leave ship
Speaker 1: stand up gigs. Thank you very much. You're both pathetic, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but in different ways. James said he'd never leaves stand
Speaker 1: up and he's come crawling back and you should have
Speaker 1: left stand up. Yeah. I don't think you deserve a
Speaker 1: nice life, Brett. You have to keep punishing yourself. I
Speaker 1: feel like yeah. And also because I think you you can.
Speaker 1: You're in danger if you're doing that Hollywood acting jobs.
Speaker 1: You're in danger of being like treated like you know,
Speaker 1: oh sir, oh after you, sir. So sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to go and do a gig. Said that you can
Speaker 1: have a room full of a hundred people calling me
Speaker 1: of a cant just to know after you, sir sounds
Speaker 1: so lovely, you know much. I'd love a bit of
Speaker 1: after you, sir. Oh. I don't deserve that, don't sad
Speaker 1: to me? Oh god, oh god, please, Joe said Lasso
Speaker 1: would say. He would say, you know what they're sometimes
Speaker 1: you're just going to be count to yourself. That's what
Speaker 1: I always used to say. And I missed my daddy.
Speaker 1: It's really good. Yeah wow, I thought we just cut
Speaker 1: to a clip then quite good. Actually it was quite good. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I listen. I said you were an actor James A.
Speaker 1: Custer so well by the same Rationelle, if we were
Speaker 1: to invert it, there you are actually looking after your
Speaker 1: mental health and your self respect and your self esteem.
Speaker 1: You've done that for two years, and then what you've
Speaker 1: suddenly decided you're too good for happiness and you need
Speaker 1: to crawl back to stand up and get punished again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we are you doing? Yeah? You got bored of feeling
Speaker 1: good about yourself? Yeah? No, I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: should probably start working again. You know, probably contend to
Speaker 1: just do nothing, so should probably start working again. That's
Speaker 1: this then, huh, we've been doing this the whole time.
Speaker 1: This is work. I don't get paid for this. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Benito says, just you page. It always takes them one inside.
Speaker 1: He said, there's an Amazon it's called the Talent James,
Speaker 1: and that's not you. And Ed gets some money. No,
Speaker 1: it's been very clear about making sure he gets paid
Speaker 1: for this charity podcast. Have you done your first gig
Speaker 1: back yet? Not yet? Got your tips? You hardened road Warrior,
Speaker 1: you got some tips for me? Just remember it's not
Speaker 1: about you, yes, all right, yeah, it's there night. It's
Speaker 1: about the team, and it's about hope and kindness. I
Speaker 1: believe I believe they they're not there for your opinions,
Speaker 1: for your thoughts. They just want to hear some dick jakes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, that's my advice. So they don't want your
Speaker 1: unique take on anything. It's good advice in the room.
Speaker 1: I've never stopped doing stand up and I've really stuck
Speaker 1: to my guns. Yeah. How's your tool going, lad? It's
Speaker 1: pretty good man. I'm only four dates in as we speak,
Speaker 1: and I've enjoyed all of them, which is I mean,
Speaker 1: that's rare. Normally one in four I'm angry about. So
Speaker 1: you've got to you've got to think there's an absolute
Speaker 1: stinker on the way. How often on a tour show
Speaker 1: is it like bad? I mean, I'm not talking to
Speaker 1: James obviously all of this, but when when you're when
Speaker 1: you're a comedian, that isn't you going to turn on
Speaker 1: the audience and destroy them for breathing weird? You know,
Speaker 1: when you're comedian respected audience, How often have you had
Speaker 1: a bad tour show? I think it's it doesn't tend
Speaker 1: to be bad ones. It's just like you're used to
Speaker 1: a certain level of excitement or engagement and then it
Speaker 1: just might be a slightly quieter audience and you know
Speaker 1: what you don't do, you don't mention it. They've turned up.
Speaker 1: They're lovely people just because they're not laughing as loud
Speaker 1: as the last audience. They've paid their money, they're there
Speaker 1: for a night out. You're there to entertain them, and
Speaker 1: you've got to slap a smile and you've got to
Speaker 1: get through because you're a professional. Yeah, I agree, really Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've got three million tweets here. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: I'm saying that I'll do it, but he's right, that's
Speaker 1: what you should do. Lead Pamble. You have been brought
Speaker 1: back to life, you have been given a second chance.
Speaker 1: But what point in your life will you come back to?
Speaker 1: What would you change? Any regrets, etc. Same for you
Speaker 1: the genie Now, Brett, I'm just slightly confused about the
Speaker 1: sort of backstory here now as well, because obviously we've
Speaker 1: both done films to be buried with where we Die.
Speaker 1: Then we've both separately done films to be buried with
Speaker 1: the Resurrection where we've been brought back to life, and
Speaker 1: now we seem to both be dead again. What happened?
Speaker 1: Will you died again? Where you did? Man used to
Speaker 1: be buried with? Yeah, last come relief, and now you've
Speaker 1: currently been dead. Now you're brought back to life from
Speaker 1: just checking to staying across it right, Okay, Yes, the
Speaker 1: format is flawless and I don't see any any other
Speaker 1: questions that should be coming up about it. Okay, Oh,
Speaker 1: man that the series two backlash has already begun. Our
Speaker 1: man used to be buried with should we say what
Speaker 1: meal would we be brought back to in our lives?
Speaker 1: Just to sort of add the off menu flavor to it.
Speaker 1: It's sort of not a mash up at the moment,
Speaker 1: is it. You're sort of just doing Okay, yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you're absolutely right. No, we should have discussed this plan.
Speaker 1: What meal will you come back to? Any meals you regret?
Speaker 1: Lead and also the genie probably the first time I
Speaker 1: had fondue, Oh blew my mind, Brett. Oh, you just
Speaker 1: want to re experience it. You don't want to change anything.
Speaker 1: Just the first time I had fondue, I was in Switzerland.
Speaker 1: It was a fondue night. It was cheese fondue to start,
Speaker 1: meet fondue for seconds, and then chocolate fondue for dessert.
Speaker 1: And it's probably the best meal I've ever had in
Speaker 1: my life. Wow, that does sound amazing. I mean, as
Speaker 1: you know, I don't eat anything that we would consider pleasurable.
Speaker 1: But if I did, I mean, fund is the gold
Speaker 1: standard if I were, if I ate, if you weren't
Speaker 1: just in pockets full of carrot shavings or whatever. You do?
Speaker 1: What you what you have in these days? Brett? What's
Speaker 1: your Hollywood diet and like and good vibes? What about you?
Speaker 1: What about you? The genie? What meal would you be
Speaker 1: brought back to? Probably the same one as Ed? That
Speaker 1: sounds great. Yeah, I'd like to just come back to
Speaker 1: a meal that I haven't had before but someone else
Speaker 1: said was brilliant. So I'll go back to that fondue
Speaker 1: meal and I'll join in with the Fundu. Who else
Speaker 1: was there that night? Ed? My dad was there. I
Speaker 1: was on holiday with my dad. I'll get on with him.
Speaker 1: My stepmum was there. I think my half brother wasn't
Speaker 1: born yet, but my half sister was there. Britt, I'd
Speaker 1: fit writing. Do you think they'd be pleased at the
Speaker 1: addition of James Is showing up? I think we'd all
Speaker 1: be confused. Depending on how many memories I have from
Speaker 1: before when I was resurrected. Am I sort of back
Speaker 1: in my own mind or do I know everything that
Speaker 1: happened after? Well? How old are you at this point
Speaker 1: in this story? Probably twelve thirteen? Yeah, you're still twelve
Speaker 1: so and but James comes at the age years now.
Speaker 1: Oh right, I'd be absolutely baffled. I'd be like, who's this,
Speaker 1: who's this wonky man turning up? Let's start with bedroom
Speaker 1: Pambo's bedroom first. Oh, yeah, you've been brought back to
Speaker 1: life to talk about meals and whatnot, and people they're
Speaker 1: dead excited to see you, but they want to know
Speaker 1: more about your food taste, and they wouldn't know about
Speaker 1: your life through food. Why do you tell the whole
Speaker 1: story around it? What? What? What? Why don't you just
Speaker 1: do the questions? It's mad. I'm trying to give it
Speaker 1: a fucking atmosphere, mate, I'm trying to give it. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a magical world we're creating for comic relief, but
Speaker 1: it kind of creates more questions than it answers. It's like,
Speaker 1: it's like, at the end of us, what it's just like?
Speaker 1: And it was the government put them under There's like
Speaker 1: what hold on? It's like? And now I've got even
Speaker 1: more questions before about these underground Yes, and then you're
Speaker 1: still thinking about it forever. Listen, this is for Comic Relief.
Speaker 1: We want to be in their brains forever. So they
Speaker 1: just keep every time they think, hang on, I've got
Speaker 1: another question. They don't nate. Oh yeah, donate per question,
Speaker 1: just like how it works every time, every time. That's
Speaker 1: a good rule. Every time you this is this podcast
Speaker 1: and you're and you're thinking hang on. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: that makes any sense. Yeah, format wise, I've got a
Speaker 1: couple of questions. Don't know donates. Yeah, and I'll just
Speaker 1: say to donate ten pounds text the word podcast to
Speaker 1: seven zero two one zero. A text costs your donation
Speaker 1: amount plus your standard network message charge, and one hundred
Speaker 1: percent of your donation will go to Comic Relief, a
Speaker 1: registered charity. You must be sixteen or over and please
Speaker 1: ask the bill payers permission. For full terms and conditions,
Speaker 1: visit Comic Relief dot com, Forward Slash Podcast Mashup and
Speaker 1: I do have to read that out every time we
Speaker 1: mentioned the donation, So oh you read that. I thought
Speaker 1: you were improvising bedroom padbulls. What was the last meal
Speaker 1: you ate? The last meal I ate was breakfast this morning?
Speaker 1: What was it? Love? A breakfast. What was it? Two
Speaker 1: fried eggs, two rushes of bacon, and two little pieces
Speaker 1: of gluten free toast made yourself? Yes, made by myself.
Speaker 1: Absolutely made it in my house. I regularly have bacon
Speaker 1: and eggs of a morning. Fills me up, keeps me going,
Speaker 1: lots of protein. What do you use as oil depends
Speaker 1: what sort of mood I meant this. You could host
Speaker 1: off many This is great, scary, isn't it? Say? What
Speaker 1: what oil do you? I was like, Oh, that's a
Speaker 1: good question. Yeah, that's a really good I used. I
Speaker 1: use some flower oil on this occasion if I'm feeling
Speaker 1: a bit, if I'm feeling a bit sort of leaner,
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll use a spray to make sure I don't
Speaker 1: use much oil. Today I thought, hey, we're making nice
Speaker 1: fried eggs. We'll use a bit of some flower or
Speaker 1: we'll go to is olive oil. Is that wrong? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's wrong for frying things. I'd say, yeah, because the
Speaker 1: heating point isn't as high, so it can't get as
Speaker 1: hot without the flavor changing. So the some flower oil
Speaker 1: and vegetable oils will burn hotter and get to that
Speaker 1: point faster, but very very bad for you. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. No more than any other oil, I don't think,
Speaker 1: but of course I use coconut oil. Of course you do,
Speaker 1: which is terrible. Yeah, you and Tom Cruise we have
Speaker 1: been coconut all aliver each other, which is very high
Speaker 1: and fat. I'm surprised to hear that. I go for
Speaker 1: a way. You can keep talking though it's your turn
Speaker 1: the genie. You've got answer that it's your No, I
Speaker 1: did it way too badly. At least we've done one
Speaker 1: of these already, so people know what to expect. Yeah,
Speaker 1: people know this as the gist. Do you want to
Speaker 1: answer for him? You probably know what? When I came in,
Speaker 1: I think James was having some pok, wasn't he? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The last meal James a was was a bowl of
Speaker 1: poque from around the corner in the I'm going to
Speaker 1: call it off menu towers, but Benito would probably call
Speaker 1: it something different, like the officers of his production company
Speaker 1: that does other things other than off menu. But I'm
Speaker 1: going to call it off menu towers. And he bought
Speaker 1: some He bought some pok. Would you must know about
Speaker 1: because you live in California? A lot? Right? Love it?
Speaker 1: Do you? What was your favorite salmon, tuna, soy sauce,
Speaker 1: seaweed flakes of some sort, corn, mango. I don't normally
Speaker 1: have mine work corn, chocolate, sauce, whatever, check not carbs,
Speaker 1: coconut oils. Thank you, pedigree rambles. So we're just moving on.
Speaker 1: We're going to keep going. Yeah, yeah, well I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be late from a pub gig.
Speaker 1: Which food do you think should play you in the
Speaker 1: Meal of your life? Oh? Hang on, So in the
Speaker 1: Meal of my life? What film should what food should
Speaker 1: play me? What food should play you in the Meal
Speaker 1: of your life? Okay, but you know I answered your
Speaker 1: first one for you. What was it? Yeah, barroom sandals?
Speaker 1: What food do you think should play you in the
Speaker 1: Meal of your life? No, I know you've asked that
Speaker 1: a few times now, and I just think they're changing
Speaker 1: the second film to meal makes it way more confused
Speaker 1: than it needs to be. Just answer the question. It's
Speaker 1: it's very clear questions. I'll ask you one more time,
Speaker 1: but I don't know how it can be very clear.
Speaker 1: At Which food do you think you would play you
Speaker 1: in the Meal of your life? All right? Yeah? Chips? Chips? Right?
Speaker 1: Thank you? The genie they push him on what. Oh,
Speaker 1: I think it's pretty clear. It looks like a chip.
Speaker 1: I look like a chip. Look like a lovely French fries.
Speaker 1: Don't know, a salty French frise, A little bit salty,
Speaker 1: A little bit salty. People love him, love him, hiss mainstream.
Speaker 1: No one doesn't like a chip. Broad appeal. You can
Speaker 1: do things with the chip. You can make it bigger,
Speaker 1: can make it smaller like he has done. You do
Speaker 1: anything you like with a chip. But no one doesn't
Speaker 1: like a chip. What films should play you in the
Speaker 1: meal of your life? For gene what food should play
Speaker 1: me in the middle of my life? Yeah? Yeah, a
Speaker 1: cheese string? Excellent? We are a chip. We're a chip
Speaker 1: and a chee string, aren't we? Yeah? I think though
Speaker 1: cheese stringy. It's absolutely right. You look similar if you
Speaker 1: stood next to each other, but one of you can
Speaker 1: very easily be stripped apart in full to pieces. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, he's got me, got me there, He's got
Speaker 1: me there. I can't. I can't come back against that.
Speaker 1: He's got me now A serious one for that. I'm
Speaker 1: going to start with the genie here, because I know
Speaker 1: you're all about love. What's the most romantic meal you've
Speaker 1: ever had the genie. Josh Winnick and I used to
Speaker 1: go when we were anyone exped that to stop when
Speaker 1: we were open the spots. We both live near Manor House,
Speaker 1: and there was a place there where we'd go and
Speaker 1: have food after trying to write comedy in the day,
Speaker 1: and Josh would never get dessert. I would sometimes order
Speaker 1: a dessert, and once I ordered just a little bowl
Speaker 1: of ice cream and they brought two spoons over, and
Speaker 1: it was very romantic the way they laid it down
Speaker 1: between us, and I think every time I've ever done
Speaker 1: anything like that, like ordered something just myself, but then
Speaker 1: they bring it over with two spoons, because you're with
Speaker 1: one person, instantly becomes quite a romantic set in a
Speaker 1: romantic feeling, And I think that's even meals I've gone
Speaker 1: to that are intentionally romantic never feel as romantic as
Speaker 1: the unexpected romance of the two spoons. That's a really
Speaker 1: lovely answer. You would have been lived about that two spoons,
Speaker 1: They wouldn't you. I can't imagine trying to share a dessert.
Speaker 1: I would have been livid if I was with anyone
Speaker 1: who would take up. Josh wasn't ever gonna try. No,
Speaker 1: I'm safe here. It's fine. If you're with me. We'd
Speaker 1: have to divide it straight away, the romance. So I can't,
Speaker 1: for instance, with my actual wife. Yeah, we can't do
Speaker 1: that because she has taken up a new thing, which
Speaker 1: is you cut, I'll choose. Wow, Like I'll choose if
Speaker 1: we get a small plate of something and there's like
Speaker 1: you know, and we want to share it. It's not
Speaker 1: like both get a fork or both get a spoon.
Speaker 1: It's immediately the person who cuts it in half is
Speaker 1: not the person who gets to choose the It's basically
Speaker 1: what they do in big families. Here's a question for you.
Speaker 1: You ever been to Ping Pong? I love Ping Pong.
Speaker 1: I'm a I went there the other day two days ago. Great.
Speaker 1: I went to Ping Pong after seeing Jack as the
Speaker 1: movie I want to see Jack as Forever. And then
Speaker 1: I went to Ping Pong's brilliant but the best one
Speaker 1: they've done. Yeah, I mean that. That couldn't sound more
Speaker 1: like you're in two thousand and three. Well, you want
Speaker 1: to see Jack, asked the movie? And then you went
Speaker 1: to Ping Pong. I'm twenty twenty two, and it was
Speaker 1: it was the best jack ass they've ever done. The
Speaker 1: new Blood was great. I love the new people they
Speaker 1: brought into it. It was brilliant, wonderful. Here's the question.
Speaker 1: You go a ping pong with two people, you and
Speaker 1: your wife, and they bring out out the dim sum
Speaker 1: and you lift up the thing and there's free. There's
Speaker 1: always free. Yeah, yeah, what do you do? Well, that's
Speaker 1: why we've thrapple. Now we've brought someone new into our
Speaker 1: relationship because we want to go to ping pong more.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what you need to pick your battles
Speaker 1: to say. There's a chasuy bun situation. There's three chartsuy buns.
Speaker 1: I personally only really want one chart suy Bun. I
Speaker 1: think they're a little bit too breddy. You don't get
Speaker 1: enough filling a lot of the time. So I'm having one,
Speaker 1: and I'm graciously saying please have the other chart suy
Speaker 1: bun because I know it like a hero. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: there's shue My coming up, and I love those pork
Speaker 1: and prawn shumi, so I know. Then when there's three there,
Speaker 1: her guilt will kick in and she'll say, well, why
Speaker 1: don't you have two of the shumi? Because I had
Speaker 1: two of the chartsuy buns. It's all you know, it's
Speaker 1: all tactics you need to work out before you you
Speaker 1: sign on the dotted line and get married. I'd say,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I did. Okay, this is how
Speaker 1: we got around it, because my girlfriend and I went
Speaker 1: to see Jackets Forever and then we went to ping
Speaker 1: pong afterwards. I'll tell you how we got that. But
Speaker 1: the three dumplings thing, you bring stupid Laws with you
Speaker 1: a very nice yeah, good shout. He's available for that
Speaker 1: to anyone, right, Yeah, if you ever are going ping pong,
Speaker 1: just the two of you bring Stuart Laws along with you. Sambos,
Speaker 1: the most romantic meal you've ever had. I think I
Speaker 1: mentioned one meal we had in Japan and the last
Speaker 1: time we had this, but that was the most sort
Speaker 1: of romantic setup. But actually the most romantic meal on
Speaker 1: that whole trip. It was an amazing trip. Was one
Speaker 1: we didn't expect to have where we just grabbed a
Speaker 1: really nice sandwich from a convenience store. All the sandwiches
Speaker 1: are incredible in Japan, the Caatsu sandos, you can just
Speaker 1: get them from the seven elevens. And then we were
Speaker 1: going over to an island to stay on this little island,
Speaker 1: and it was pissing it down with rain, and we
Speaker 1: got into this ferry and just ate this sandwich and
Speaker 1: like the rain was just beaten down on the window
Speaker 1: and it's all steamed up, and it was fantastic Titanic Titanic.
Speaker 1: I wiped my hand down the window. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: like Titanic Catsu sauce all the way down the wind. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I turned round and she'd gone, Billy Zane, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's only two bits on this sandwich gym? So are
Speaker 1: you gonna have to fly home? Got really mixed up.
Speaker 1: One last question on the romantic meal for the genie.
Speaker 1: I'm just sort of slightly weirded out by this story.
Speaker 1: At first it sounded really romantic, but then I realized
Speaker 1: that your romance is two spoons arrived, which is a
Speaker 1: romantic idea. But you're happy because the other person ain't
Speaker 1: touching that spoon, so then you're just eating your dessert
Speaker 1: whilst the spoon sits, you're just staring at the person
Speaker 1: who's not sharing with you. All. Yeah, that's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's romantic, I think. Is that? Yeah, you realize that
Speaker 1: you know versions that work the best when you're not
Speaker 1: both the same as each other, as the opposites a tract.
Speaker 1: So one if you like and dessert the other person not.
Speaker 1: That's how you know you're in a real romantic setting
Speaker 1: is when you eat all the dessert to yourself. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's it's an awful lot. Cedric Lambele's what is the
Speaker 1: best of meal you have ever had that you never
Speaker 1: want to have again? And why? I think there's certain
Speaker 1: meals that are so impressed and take you by surprise.
Speaker 1: Surprise is such a big part of it, right, that
Speaker 1: you wouldn't want to have it every day, or you
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to go back for it again. So me
Speaker 1: and James were both been to Noma in Copenhagen, Yes,
Speaker 1: which is incredible. You don't know what you're going to
Speaker 1: get when you go in there. They just bring out
Speaker 1: all these amazing little fine dining dishes, and it's always
Speaker 1: such a surprise when they describe to you ingredients you've
Speaker 1: never heard of. I can imagine if you went back
Speaker 1: and it was exactly the same, it would be a
Speaker 1: bit of a letdown. And when I went Brett I
Speaker 1: ate a duck's brain out of a duck's skull. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Edward, and then they banned him from the restaurant.
Speaker 1: And I liked it. I enjoyed it, and I enjoyed
Speaker 1: the experience of it, and it made me feel big
Speaker 1: and tough. But I would not like that ever again
Speaker 1: anywhere else. I'm never going to order a duck's brain.
Speaker 1: Did you have to let hold the beak while you
Speaker 1: scooped out? You could do? I chose to do that, sure,
Speaker 1: I use every body of the animal. It's a very
Speaker 1: disturbing photo that they sent me. Sent me the photo
Speaker 1: of it, and it does just look like a tas
Speaker 1: adermy duck on a plate, and it was pretty mad.
Speaker 1: What about you? The Genie. Best meal I've had that
Speaker 1: I'd never have again, the chick which sandwich from the
Speaker 1: Northampton College canteen. I had them all the time when
Speaker 1: in my two years at Northampton College doing my betech
Speaker 1: in music practice. And it was just, you know, two
Speaker 1: pieces of bread, some not very good lettuce, mayonnaise, and
Speaker 1: a chick which or I guess the actual thing in
Speaker 1: the middle isn't a chick which. The whole thing as
Speaker 1: a whole is a chick which. But you know, we're
Speaker 1: talking this very standard deep deep fried chicken. Tell still,
Speaker 1: I think all which is a chick, aren't they? Yeah,
Speaker 1: well we're chick chick, very good, very good stuff. I
Speaker 1: think it's a warlock, it's a lad. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: used to love it. Never ever want to eat it again, ever,
Speaker 1: easily never want to eat that again. But I used
Speaker 1: to be really excited about it, going into college and
Speaker 1: thinking about my chick, which I can't wait to have
Speaker 1: the chick. Which. It was a period of my life
Speaker 1: where it late means suddenly I'm a bit more in
Speaker 1: charge of what I eat every day. Had to eat
Speaker 1: healthy growing up because my mum was into healthy food,
Speaker 1: good honor. I'm so sorry, but I was always like, ah,
Speaker 1: a dream of unhealthy food. And then I had this
Speaker 1: window where I was just like, let myself off the
Speaker 1: leash and eat chick witches all the time. And now
Speaker 1: I'm like, dad never wanted that. It's disgusted. That's wonderful.
Speaker 1: If you're listening at home and you want to chick which,
Speaker 1: donate to Comic Relief at all, Right, hang up, so
Speaker 1: donate ten pounds. Text the word podcast to seven zero
Speaker 1: two one zero. Text costs your donation amount plus your
Speaker 1: standard network messages charge, and one hundred percent of your
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Speaker 1: dot com. Forward to Slash a podcast mash up. This
Speaker 1: next question is you know absolutely the format is flawless.
Speaker 1: What's the best action meal you've ever had? Amazing stuff? Well,
Speaker 1: my ed was at this meal. Yeah, Slippy Jennies, Slippy Jennys. Yeah,
Speaker 1: remember Slippy Jenny. Tell us about Slippy Jenny. I think
Speaker 1: it's called Slippy Jennies. I think I think that's what
Speaker 1: it was called. Oh yeah, so it wasn't the official
Speaker 1: name wasn't Slippy Jeff. The official name was was Jenny's
Speaker 1: or Zoe's or something. I come. It's in New York
Speaker 1: and it was empty, and we went in for some lunch,
Speaker 1: little cafe and there's a lady on her own working
Speaker 1: and there's four of us, no one else in the restaurant.
Speaker 1: But she clearly was like, oh oh man, I really
Speaker 1: got to get them their food pronto, even though we
Speaker 1: weren't in a rush, and she went to get us
Speaker 1: our orders, and we heard her running back into the
Speaker 1: main restaurant, really no reason to do it from the
Speaker 1: kitchen down this corridor, but legging it. And then we
Speaker 1: heard her lose control during the run, and then she
Speaker 1: just staggered into the restaurant holding a tray that was outstretched,
Speaker 1: trying to balance it while clearly losing her balance, and
Speaker 1: then just fell behind the counter, nearly over the top.
Speaker 1: That's great, slipped all over the place, but there was
Speaker 1: nothing to slip over. And then she's got back up
Speaker 1: again and they served us our food, and every time
Speaker 1: we walked past it was called it slippy Jetties because
Speaker 1: when the lady fell over, you know when you can
Speaker 1: tell someone's really hurt themselves because they get up too quickly. Afterwards.
Speaker 1: There was no moment, there was no She was literally
Speaker 1: like down and up straight away, and you're like, oh god,
Speaker 1: she's it was so awful, but it only it was great.
Speaker 1: It was action, the most action packed meal I've ever had.
Speaker 1: That's a very good answer. Is that the same for
Speaker 1: you said? I had a Turkey leg at Universal Studios
Speaker 1: and then went straight on the Jurassic Park ride. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: love it. Cave man like a cave man. The turkey
Speaker 1: leg yep. At those parks in Florida. Yep, it's so good.
Speaker 1: Legit good. Wow. When I went there, Edge told me, yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta get it, you gotta get the turkey leg.
Speaker 1: I got it, and I was like he was not lying.
Speaker 1: This is the greatest. Were you eating the turkey leg
Speaker 1: whilst on the ride? Like kind amongst dinosaurs? In my mind?
Speaker 1: I was, But I'm not sure they let you on
Speaker 1: the ride with a turkey leg. I think I to
Speaker 1: finish it off fully. Maybe I was in the queue
Speaker 1: and then straight on right and they said if you
Speaker 1: are this site, you're not allowed to ride. If you've
Speaker 1: got a turkey leg, you can't come either. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was too short to ride it and then I just
Speaker 1: had to hold it. But I held the turkey leg
Speaker 1: above my head and that's what squeaked me on. Would
Speaker 1: you be allowed to eat a deep fried turkey leg, Bradley, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that sounds great. I'd never I'd have a turkey legg.
Speaker 1: But are you allowed to buy Apple? No apples? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: can only apples. It's contract you, but they're very nice.
Speaker 1: There's lots of different apples. People like oh, apples. But
Speaker 1: you know there's Cocks and there's yeah Granny Smith, and
Speaker 1: there's the two apples, and you get to you can
Speaker 1: mix them up? Can you say that in the voice
Speaker 1: of Roy Kent? Or list all the apples in the
Speaker 1: voice of Roy Kent. Cocks, Pink Lady, Jazz, Roll Garala,
Speaker 1: Royal Gala, Golden Delicious, Red Red Apples, gray Burn, Golden Delicious,
Speaker 1: gray Burn. I mean, that's a look. I know you've
Speaker 1: written the next series already, but you know it's a
Speaker 1: nice little new character trait for Roy that he loves apples.
Speaker 1: And yeah, all the meals in the world, if you
Speaker 1: had to, which meal do you think you could have made?
Speaker 1: And why the genie? Well, weirdly I have chose a
Speaker 1: meal from a film actually that I look at and
Speaker 1: think I could make that and it would be delicious.
Speaker 1: Is the ice cream Sunday from Home Alone too, that
Speaker 1: he has in the in the hotel, lovely lovely as
Speaker 1: I could make it and it would taste amazing. Obviously
Speaker 1: a lot of like ice cream Sunday dishes, banana splits
Speaker 1: and stuff. I'm pretty sure I don't know if there
Speaker 1: even is. Maybe he's got bananas in that ice cream Sunday.
Speaker 1: I can't remember now, although the way he eats it
Speaker 1: isn't as nice as I'm As a kid, I remember
Speaker 1: seeing him eating anything and that looks delicious. Now as
Speaker 1: an adult, I'd really don't like the way he's eating it.
Speaker 1: He kind of is like, can you show me visually? Well,
Speaker 1: he's lifting a spoon up. He's got a massive bit
Speaker 1: of like you know, semi melted ice cream that looks incredible,
Speaker 1: and then he kind of he doesn't do what most
Speaker 1: kids would do his age, what I would want to
Speaker 1: do now as an adult, to just put it in
Speaker 1: your mouth and let's get as much as possible and
Speaker 1: eat it. He kind of like just runs his lips
Speaker 1: along it in a rather like because he's trying not
Speaker 1: to sweat that much. Because he's acting, and even though
Speaker 1: he's a kid, he's mcaulay culkins, so he's thinking like
Speaker 1: a proper actor. He's not thinking like a little kid
Speaker 1: is getting to eat a load of ice it's contracted
Speaker 1: and he's contractually not allowed to get bigger during the Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's like just a bit too. The ice cream
Speaker 1: that's left on the spoons just quite spitting infused. What
Speaker 1: would you do, bro, if you were in a film
Speaker 1: where you had to eat a big ice cream Sunday
Speaker 1: and you wanted to do good acting like you're properly
Speaker 1: eating it, I'd have a word with the writers and go,
Speaker 1: can we change this that he's just finished? Yeah, or
Speaker 1: he's eating a carrot? Yeah, just see be like, oh,
Speaker 1: what a lovely ice cream that was all around your mouth? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just worried that it's going to drip in afterwards, scrubbing
Speaker 1: your face. Don't get it in from my poles. What's
Speaker 1: your answer, Ledric Bambles? Anything really gross and unhealthy? I'm
Speaker 1: like I could put that together. I think I've got
Speaker 1: the brain to come up with some deviously unhealthy stuff,
Speaker 1: you know, like on Man versus food and stuff where
Speaker 1: you see like a burger where the bun is two
Speaker 1: grilled cheese sandwiches. Yeah, I'm like, I'd say I'm always
Speaker 1: an hour away from doing that in my life. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go and get the ingredients and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make two grilled chee sandwiches. I'm gonna get the
Speaker 1: barbecue going. I'm gonna make a burger. We have a
Speaker 1: bacon and double bacon cheese burger and instead of the
Speaker 1: bunt is going to be grilled chee sandwiches and there's
Speaker 1: going to be deep fried pickles on it. Can I
Speaker 1: speak on behalf of the listeners and say, can you
Speaker 1: please do that for comic relief and film it and
Speaker 1: put it on It's I've got previous to saying I'll
Speaker 1: film things and they're not doing it? Yeah, have you
Speaker 1: film things? Have not done it for charity though? No,
Speaker 1: that's true. Actually for charity. If ed, does that, please
Speaker 1: donate to a relief Oh no, we're not doing that
Speaker 1: again and not. Okay, here here's the deal. I'll do
Speaker 1: it for charity, but you've got to eat a bite
Speaker 1: of it, Brett. Yeah, one bite, one bite? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: I don't think it should be one bike because you
Speaker 1: agree to it too quickly. It should be you should
Speaker 1: have to eat the whole thing. No way, share it.
Speaker 1: We can share it. I'll cut you choose half and half. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I'll cut yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why a good sister
Speaker 1: I get to bring st it laws. What is the
Speaker 1: food you have pretended to like to impress people? Sedible bambles?
Speaker 1: The thing is with me is I do try and
Speaker 1: like everything, but there's got to be something I've not enjoyed,
Speaker 1: and I'm just sort of nodded along all with drinks
Speaker 1: and stuff. You know, it'll more be like like a
Speaker 1: wine or something where everyone is saying it's really nice,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, that's delicious. But I think I'm
Speaker 1: so thick I can convince my own brain into thinking
Speaker 1: it's nice. I think if I really tell myself I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying something, I can completely trick my own senses. That's
Speaker 1: a lovely gift. Thick sounds like you're very cycologically healthy.
Speaker 1: No courage of conviction whatsoever. Oh yes, got no opinions
Speaker 1: you could really call your own. But yeah, not bad,
Speaker 1: just drifting through life, trying not to read books. What
Speaker 1: food have you pretended to like to impress people the genie? Well,
Speaker 1: wine is a very good shell. Most wines I don't
Speaker 1: really like, and we have all that wine we went
Speaker 1: to a really unread and what was good about that?
Speaker 1: Actually about that lunch is it did make me go, oh,
Speaker 1: I do like wine, and this is really delicious, and
Speaker 1: maybe I don't need to pretend that I like other
Speaker 1: wines that you know, when people give me go, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a great wine, James. They tell me it's great,
Speaker 1: and they have a mouthful and think it just tastes
Speaker 1: like all every other glass of wine I've had. But
Speaker 1: I've got to go, oh, yeah, yeah, that's good. Actually,
Speaker 1: whereas this one. I thought that lunch that you know,
Speaker 1: that those guys invited us to, and I was like,
Speaker 1: they own this big wine shop, and like they're proper
Speaker 1: into wines, these guys, And I'm really going to have
Speaker 1: to black it, but they're gonna be able to see
Speaker 1: through me, and ah, this is gonna be a nightmare.
Speaker 1: And I was so relieved when we had each glass
Speaker 1: of wine was the best glass of wine I'd ever had,
Speaker 1: and it really did taste great, and I wasn't having
Speaker 1: to pretend. A massive relief because I thought that was
Speaker 1: going to be a huge day of pretending and just
Speaker 1: going for the experience of like this this nice meal.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that was that was good. And I'd say
Speaker 1: like similar stuff, like in terms of lying to impress people,
Speaker 1: maybe it's like if I am at a really fancy restaurant,
Speaker 1: it's not I don't like a dish, but like if
Speaker 1: it's just not as special you know, often if you
Speaker 1: get like a taste in menu, I find like the
Speaker 1: starters and the desserts amazing, but the middle ones are
Speaker 1: kind of like just tastes pretty normal because they're kind
Speaker 1: of doing you a bit of a bit of chicken.
Speaker 1: You're trying to make it a bit heartier, and it
Speaker 1: tastes quite normal, and I have to really like sell
Speaker 1: it the same way I'm in selling all the other
Speaker 1: dishes up until that point where they've blamed my mind
Speaker 1: and I've been like, I can't believe I good this is.
Speaker 1: And then I'm having to go, whoa, yeah this too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: keep them coming. But actually I'm thinking this is actually
Speaker 1: I can't really tell the difference between this and a
Speaker 1: normal bit of chicken up at at home. That's when
Speaker 1: I really think, yeah, I'm faking it to impress people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously I don't fucking clear about one, and
Speaker 1: I've never understood it seems like a massive kind honey
Speaker 1: crisp fo google those saw you googled in that when
Speaker 1: we were answering the questions you just dropped on his computer,
Speaker 1: He's googled types of apples. Yeah, that's definitely going in
Speaker 1: Series four, isn't it in my brain? Googled in my brain. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's start with you, Cedric Hambler's what is the food
Speaker 1: you've never eaten that you think it's mad? You've never
Speaker 1: eaten it. I've got it. One of my own wedding cakes.
Speaker 1: That's mad. That's mad, that's mad. The genie is, no,
Speaker 1: I want to delve into that more because I was
Speaker 1: at the wedding. I introduced the cakes, and I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna let you delve into it otherwise. The joke, his
Speaker 1: joke doesn't work that he loves doing that no one
Speaker 1: ever enjoys. Look at his little face at your wedding.
Speaker 1: The joke is he says it was mad, that you've
Speaker 1: never done it, and then you say it expecting more questions.
Speaker 1: He goes, that's mad and then moves on, Oh that's
Speaker 1: his joke on the pot. Fucking hell, we can do it, Look, Genie,
Speaker 1: in all seriousness, I will. I will answer fun questions.
Speaker 1: What's the food you've never eaten that you think it's mad?
Speaker 1: You've never eaten cinnabon that he's mad? All right, so
Speaker 1: just expect me to it. You would expect me to
Speaker 1: have eaten it, would yeah, now, okay, let's go back,
Speaker 1: let's do it. You're right, Hey, it's interesting you've never
Speaker 1: had a hint about I've it. It's fucking incredible, and
Speaker 1: if I were not me, i'd eat it every day.
Speaker 1: I can't believe you've not had that. That's the best
Speaker 1: feed I've ever Yeah, but that's why I haven't had it,
Speaker 1: because I know I haven't got the self control that
Speaker 1: you've got when it comes to desserts. I know if
Speaker 1: I discover I like cinnabon, which I know I definitely
Speaker 1: categorically will love it and it'll be my favorite food. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that I will get it every single time. I won't
Speaker 1: better walk past us in the bond without getting one.
Speaker 1: So therefore I have never had it because I don't
Speaker 1: want to discover how much I like it. I lived
Speaker 1: opposite a donut Time for three years and I never
Speaker 1: went in donut Time. I never got a donut from
Speaker 1: there because I didn't want to discover how because they
Speaker 1: looked amazing in the window. I was like, if I
Speaker 1: have one, I'm having one every single day because I
Speaker 1: lived so close to it. So I waited until the
Speaker 1: week when I was moving, and I think I had
Speaker 1: about three in a week because I was like I
Speaker 1: had it. It was like, yep, these are incredible. We
Speaker 1: wanted to try, but we just live around the corner
Speaker 1: from Flavor Toown Bakery to do incredible cupcakes and incredible cakes.
Speaker 1: And we only realize we live around the corner from
Speaker 1: there the last month before we left. And thank god,
Speaker 1: that's what we realize. Every week we're in there, just like,
Speaker 1: get that one. I want to try that one. These
Speaker 1: are peanut butter pie. It's the best thing I've ever
Speaker 1: peanut butter pie. Which one of your cakes? So Ed
Speaker 1: had a peanut butter and sold a caramel and peanut
Speaker 1: yeah cake on the top tier one with orange carot
Speaker 1: cake with like an orange kind of curd or something
Speaker 1: going on. There was a chocolate there's a lemon curd
Speaker 1: one with like yea sponge and cream on the top.
Speaker 1: There's a chocolate one. Was yeah, I think, so yeah,
Speaker 1: so what one? Didn't you have the carrot? I love
Speaker 1: carrot because I just didn't get any cake. And then
Speaker 1: they brought them up at the end of the night
Speaker 1: and had a tiny bit of the salty peanut one,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's the best thing I've ever tasted,
Speaker 1: and that's all I got and it had all gone
Speaker 1: And now we've got three massive wedges of a lemon
Speaker 1: cake in the freezer. Still, yeah, it's all gone stale.
Speaker 1: Now why I introduced the cakes, which is like, you know,
Speaker 1: a very that's a great honor. Yeah, the traditional cake
Speaker 1: announcing role, yes to so on it was James. Yes,
Speaker 1: I was furious you didn't pick me for that. But
Speaker 1: if you want to get a role at a wedding,
Speaker 1: you've got your on a specific role. It helps if
Speaker 1: you invent that role and suggest it to the couple
Speaker 1: and then you'll definitely get it. Yeah, And everyone come
Speaker 1: up to me afterwards and when I want that, because
Speaker 1: then people thought so people won't come up to me
Speaker 1: obviously and go in great job. What they thought I
Speaker 1: was the guy who was like the cake guy and
Speaker 1: I could get them in with the cake. And they
Speaker 1: were like, please, I want that peanut, but a brittle
Speaker 1: one that's on the top, and because they've all seen
Speaker 1: that that's the smallest one. Yeah, because it was the top.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I can't help you, guys, I
Speaker 1: don't know how to I want that myself and I'm
Speaker 1: worried I'm not gonna get it, which I didn't. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I find people will have that one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they well they took some away and then I managed
Speaker 1: to get a little. You didn't. Even I've seen weddings.
Speaker 1: There's always a bit where the bride and groom stuff
Speaker 1: a cake in each other. Again, you're living in Hollywood,
Speaker 1: aren't you mate that But that's in the films. That's
Speaker 1: in the films. That doesn't happened in real life. Right,
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe you're thinking about maybe you know what happened
Speaker 1: at weddings, right, and you wouldn't just be relying on
Speaker 1: Hollywood weddings if you actually came to my wedding and
Speaker 1: didn't fly off to Hollywood. Yes, maybe you wouldn't be
Speaker 1: walking around going I know what weddings are there, big
Speaker 1: fat and Greek. Can't they listen. One of the great
Speaker 1: regrets of my life's not being at your wedding. I know,
Speaker 1: and I know you mean that. And I felt sad
Speaker 1: when I brought that up that you weren't at the wedding,
Speaker 1: because I know you were generally upset. So I apologize, Brett,
Speaker 1: I was really upset. I hope there weren't any wedding
Speaker 1: crashes at your wedding head. You gotta watch out from
Speaker 1: wedding crashes. Oh no, oh my god, I'm assuming j
Speaker 1: Low planned it for you. What about the bit when
Speaker 1: they said does anyone here have any objections? I'd imagine
Speaker 1: someone was there at the back, weren't they shouting? What
Speaker 1: about when the vicar is acting weird and it turns
Speaker 1: out it's Ted Dadson with loads of perspectics on three
Speaker 1: men and a lady Freemen and a little lady. Wonderful film,
Speaker 1: wonderful film, wonderful portrayal of the UK Genie. Yeah, what's
Speaker 1: a food you love that you don't expect anyone else
Speaker 1: to like? Okay, so special salmon skin rolls I love,
Speaker 1: and I don't expect everyone to love sushi or salmon
Speaker 1: skin deep fried fish skin. So that's that's up there.
Speaker 1: But also the amount that I love, I mean, broccoli
Speaker 1: gets a bad rap gets like, you know, bad rap,
Speaker 1: bad rap rep rep. You know from when you're a
Speaker 1: little kid, everyone's like, fuck broccoli. The amount that I
Speaker 1: eat it now though I have it all the time
Speaker 1: in a load of different ways, that really love it.
Speaker 1: I love all the different types of broccoli, and I'm
Speaker 1: surprised at how much I love broccoli now. But then
Speaker 1: I wouldn't expect anyone else to be as enthusiastic about it.
Speaker 1: Can you name all the different types of broccoli in
Speaker 1: a roy Ken boy ten tender Stamn, I'll totally get
Speaker 1: into the void Ken think Kila come here they have.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a pundit. I told you
Speaker 1: by far. I don't want to tell it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: do have a Kelly, don't hey, listen to me. Let pirate,
Speaker 1: Let pirate. I'm proud of you, and you don't have
Speaker 1: to be ashamed. I mean, you don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about making. That's also James's impression of Brian Cox in Succession.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on there? Fu fu fuck
Speaker 1: are sprouting? Fuck off boy? Cedric Malambo's Yes, what's the
Speaker 1: food you love that you don't expect anyone else to like?
Speaker 1: I like anything really salty, but I'll just have it
Speaker 1: by itself. So people love capers, people love anchovies amongst things. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: they divide, they divide people anyway, But you're not like
Speaker 1: people who like capers. They'll put them on a few
Speaker 1: on or whatever. I'll have a spoonful of capers and
Speaker 1: I'll down the vinegar afterwards. Wow, I love it. But
Speaker 1: question for the group. Just realized this. If I'm really
Speaker 1: living my tree, what is a caper? It's I mean,
Speaker 1: it's a good question podcast before I think you said
Speaker 1: you thought it was a berry. I thought it was
Speaker 1: a berry. It's caper berry. I thought it was a fish.
Speaker 1: It's not a fish. That's an anchovy. It's because you
Speaker 1: put them together. I'm always like, it was just cut
Speaker 1: the little disgusting fishes. You thought they'd like little brothers
Speaker 1: or something. Yeah, if you caught some capers, it's edible
Speaker 1: flower buds, the capers. You're very natural. Sometimes you are Genie.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Er Oh, it was kicking the table, spilled
Speaker 1: all the water. All right, this one's for the two
Speaker 1: most romantic boys I know. Let's start with you, Cred.
Speaker 1: What is the meal you would cook your lover as
Speaker 1: a test to see if you should be together, as in,
Speaker 1: you cook the meal. If she don't like it, she's
Speaker 1: not the one for you. Well, we went through this one.
Speaker 1: We did this with films. Brett. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: a healthy way to start a relationship. I don't think
Speaker 1: any sort of tests really. Maybe actually, maybe something really spicy.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe put a big raw chili with seeds in
Speaker 1: the middle of a slice of cake or something, and
Speaker 1: then if she doesn't think that's a laugh, then she's
Speaker 1: not with the right guy. Because I'm a prankster and
Speaker 1: I'm a legend. That's actually a good answer, though, not
Speaker 1: to like, because you've got to respect the prank. But
Speaker 1: like when you make something that's too spicy and the
Speaker 1: person could have just goes eats it anyway, then you
Speaker 1: are now I knew that was too spicy, and they
Speaker 1: could have just told me, no way, I'm doing that.
Speaker 1: But they've given it the old college try. They've eaten
Speaker 1: it anyway. That feels good with a good person. Never
Speaker 1: use that phrase before your test is I'm with a
Speaker 1: person who won't ever express how they really feel. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll keep that to themselves if they if they're ever
Speaker 1: upset with anything I do, they've just got to really
Speaker 1: just keep it under their hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, will
Speaker 1: you marry me? Yeah? Yeah, you know I want them
Speaker 1: to put just put on a happy exterior on the outside,
Speaker 1: but inside they're really hurting. Yeah. Oh, it's so that
Speaker 1: you get where will be heaven Knows. I tried do
Speaker 1: you want a part in season three seas? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just want to get in the writer's room. Man,
Speaker 1: Just I've got all these ideas. You hear him and
Speaker 1: popping off at me. Do you want to writing it?
Speaker 1: I'm talking about you're acting as an actor one episode?
Speaker 1: Can James sing the theme? Just don't mention it? Just
Speaker 1: like that, I'll just let me do the heaven knows.
Speaker 1: I've tried normal, the Marcus Mumford stuff and then at
Speaker 1: the ends go heaven knows. I tried what is the
Speaker 1: meal that made you the most uncomfortable? The genis when
Speaker 1: I was younger and the family were at a meal
Speaker 1: at someone else's house and they don't normally cook, and
Speaker 1: they were like, I'm just trying to just trying to recipe.
Speaker 1: I just thought to try it. I don't norbly cook
Speaker 1: and it was was my memory of it is it
Speaker 1: was mainly like kale and cabbage and like a load
Speaker 1: of green vegetables that I actually don't go that well
Speaker 1: together with loads of orange peel in it, Like they
Speaker 1: just the orange peel and it tasted like composts. But
Speaker 1: you know, someone's like just put all their scraps of
Speaker 1: food from their potato peelings and stuff into one bin,
Speaker 1: and it's like it was really bad, but to be polite,
Speaker 1: said it was nice. And then they were like, great,
Speaker 1: there's loads more. Do you want some more? And then
Speaker 1: nowadays as an adult, i'd probably get round it going
Speaker 1: I'm full. But it was great, thank you. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, you know you're a teenager. I
Speaker 1: think I've said I like it, so I was like, yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: And then the second serving of that was I was
Speaker 1: physically uncomfortable and also just like socially really didn't and
Speaker 1: I was thinking in my head, now, is this going
Speaker 1: to be a thing where every time we come, they're
Speaker 1: gonna be made your favorite the compost bin? Again, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very uncomfortable. It was very I can still taste
Speaker 1: it when I think of it now. It was not nice.
Speaker 1: That made me far as well. All right, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: imagine if arted, but that was probably a blessed relief.
Speaker 1: Later one probably enjoyed that. Send me members. I was
Speaker 1: on holiday and it was in Brazil with my family
Speaker 1: and we went to this tiny little restaurant there's basically
Speaker 1: a lady's house on the side of a mountain. She
Speaker 1: cut this beautiful Brazilian food and it's like a buffet.
Speaker 1: There were a few people there, and part of it
Speaker 1: was there was this like spicy vinegar oil stuff that
Speaker 1: was basically like a bottle, like an empty water bottle,
Speaker 1: and she put loads of vinegar in it and then
Speaker 1: loads of little really spicy chilies, and then screwed the
Speaker 1: top on and just let it sit there right, and
Speaker 1: then pierced a hole in the top of the bottle
Speaker 1: and then that's like the shaker to get it just
Speaker 1: a little bit of this hot vinegar to get on there.
Speaker 1: And I got myself second helpings. It was so good,
Speaker 1: a big pile. As a big fat boy then really
Speaker 1: really enjoyed just having huge piles of food. And I
Speaker 1: sat down with it, and it would be noticed that
Speaker 1: I'd got second helpings, and they were like always getting
Speaker 1: second helpings, must really like it. But I'd taken a
Speaker 1: lot of food. I'd taken a lot of food, and
Speaker 1: there were other people then I'd probably taken too much food.
Speaker 1: And then I went to put this vinegar, the spicy
Speaker 1: vinegar on, and the top completely came off and I'd
Speaker 1: say maybe half a liter of that vinegar with the
Speaker 1: chilis went on all over my food. So at this point,
Speaker 1: my dad's laughing, my brother's really laughing, and I'm I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: that's awful. I can't I can't eat this now. It's
Speaker 1: like it's inedible. And my dad was like, well, no,
Speaker 1: you've got to eat it. You've you've literally taken all
Speaker 1: this food away from these people, like they've spent ages
Speaker 1: preparing this food. So I just had to eat it,
Speaker 1: had to eat, and I ended up crying. I was
Speaker 1: squatting on the floor. I drank. I drank like two
Speaker 1: massive bottles of Laga, just like slamming Laga just to
Speaker 1: try and get through this thing. And I was just
Speaker 1: like gone bright red and crying and sweating. Just to
Speaker 1: be polite, I was trying to be polite but being
Speaker 1: so impolite at the same time, because I was like
Speaker 1: squatting on the floor, eating and farting and shouting like
Speaker 1: this is awful, what a horrible story. We're now coming
Speaker 1: towards the final question. This one, I'd say the best
Speaker 1: of times, this question is a tricky one on the
Speaker 1: normal podcast, but here we are the genie, if you
Speaker 1: could feed a child only one food, what food would
Speaker 1: it be for the rest of their lives? Okay, is
Speaker 1: what's happened, good friend of yours, Let's say Ed in
Speaker 1: your case the genie right, Ed, Ed's had a baby.
Speaker 1: Congratulations said, he said, he's made you. Kay can answer
Speaker 1: for the christening? Great, and he's not made a godfather.
Speaker 1: But he said, you're like a godfather, even though I'm
Speaker 1: going to actually assign someone much more appropriate as a godfather.
Speaker 1: But you're like a godfather. But I'm leaving the baby
Speaker 1: with you. The kid, it's now, it's great, so quick,
Speaker 1: it's toddling. Now, eat solids. And I want you in
Speaker 1: this day to infuse the child with the most love
Speaker 1: and make the child know this is what what food is.
Speaker 1: This is what it's important in life. So you make
Speaker 1: one meal for the kid? What is it? Right? I
Speaker 1: mean again again, the more you explain to the less
Speaker 1: the question made sense. Yeah, I mean donate now, don't
Speaker 1: just make the numbers up. Okay, just before I'll read
Speaker 1: it one more time before we go into it. To
Speaker 1: donate ten pounds, text the word podcast to seven zero
Speaker 1: two one zero. Text costs your donation amount plus your
Speaker 1: standard network message charge, and one hundred percent of your
Speaker 1: donation will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. You
Speaker 1: must be sixty not over, and please ask the bill
Speaker 1: payers permission. For full terms and conditions. Visit comment Relief
Speaker 1: dot com, Forward Slash podcast mash up Shepherd's Pie. Okay,
Speaker 1: why just think it's a very homely meal. I think
Speaker 1: it really just start us feel like that's that that's
Speaker 1: what you have it at home, right, and make you
Speaker 1: feel like your home boring. It's a nice image you
Speaker 1: and and Eds toddler and the Shepherd's pie. Yeah, quite
Speaker 1: a heavy meal for little kid boring my kids not
Speaker 1: having Shepherd's pie. Yeah, you're kid, You're dead. You don't
Speaker 1: ever saying this my kids. I'm putting it in my will.
Speaker 1: It's not allowed. Shepherd's pie. But too boring. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I guess if it was Ed's kid, I've given the
Speaker 1: pickers basket or something that Ed liked as a little boy.
Speaker 1: He'd like the pickers bask, I'd like the pickers basket.
Speaker 1: Sharers started platter, used to have its my main course? Yeah, lovely.
Speaker 1: So I guess if it was Ed's kid and it's
Speaker 1: in this thing upon the Godfather and he's dead or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll give the kid the pickers basket. Okayfaus, it's a
Speaker 1: genetic kid, I'll give him a Shepherd's part because I
Speaker 1: think it feels like home. Well, if it's my kid,
Speaker 1: But I say, I don't like Shepherd's pie, I'm just
Speaker 1: I'll leave you with the kid. I go by the way,
Speaker 1: I don't like saves pattering. Well, your kid. Your kid's
Speaker 1: probably just got to make his way through the year's
Speaker 1: worth of beef jerky that's in the garage or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: surely just drowning in protein powder. Yeah, but scarface be
Speaker 1: Bedrick crambles. Yes. In your scenario, you're on a tube
Speaker 1: and there was a parent with a kid. The parent
Speaker 1: got off the tube, that kid didn't get off the
Speaker 1: tube of the doors closed. Yeah, and suddenly you're with
Speaker 1: the kid, who are like, oh shit, it's just you
Speaker 1: and this kid on the tube. Coach, you're pulling the
Speaker 1: next station and you're like, hey, kid, maybe your your
Speaker 1: parents going to come on the next day. You wait,
Speaker 1: no parent comes, You get on the other line. You
Speaker 1: go back to the station. Parents not there. You're making
Speaker 1: him to go up and make announcement. It's a nightmare.
Speaker 1: Can't get rid of this kid. And the kid is cute.
Speaker 1: The kid is like a Hollywood kid, really cute kid.
Speaker 1: And he's like, what's your name, mister, And you're like
Speaker 1: it's led and he goes, hey, lad, I don't know
Speaker 1: where my papa is. And you're like, oh, oh shit.
Speaker 1: Before yeah, eventually take this kid home. You're like, I
Speaker 1: guess this is my kid now. And the kid is
Speaker 1: a little bit scared, but he trusts you and the
Speaker 1: kid You've gotta make a meal for that kid tonight.
Speaker 1: You want that kid to feel safer and make that
Speaker 1: kid feel loved, and you want to make that kid
Speaker 1: know there's a future for him. What meal you're making
Speaker 1: that kid before the parent comes to collect? So I'm
Speaker 1: not called I'm not called the police at all. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: would you you better hold onto this writing job with
Speaker 1: both hands and never let go a young man, Never
Speaker 1: never let it go. No, because you you've taken it
Speaker 1: as a sign from from from God. You've gone, I
Speaker 1: guess I'm meant to raise this kid. You're mista, So
Speaker 1: I am raising this kid. It's kidnaps. The kids got
Speaker 1: nap the kid. You've accidentally kidnapped a kid believing that
Speaker 1: you're an amation from God. Is the kid young enough
Speaker 1: that they would eventually forget that they were kidnapped? And
Speaker 1: I could invent a whole backstory for the kid. That's
Speaker 1: your hope. Yeah, that's okay. So I don't want my
Speaker 1: kids to be fussy about food, so you've got to
Speaker 1: go adventurous early. But yes, I'd like it to be
Speaker 1: homely and warming and still delicious. But you don't want
Speaker 1: any faff later on. Or I won't eat that. I
Speaker 1: don't like that it's got bones in it. I don't
Speaker 1: like that it's got it's so spaghetti alvonglay lovely. The
Speaker 1: list is what's fungala? Clams? They're still in the shells,
Speaker 1: so they're gonna have to the clams out of the shells,
Speaker 1: and it used to having all that around there, you know,
Speaker 1: And it'll just make them less fussy in terms of eating.
Speaker 1: But who doesn't like spaghetti? And also I can join
Speaker 1: in that's lovely. And when the parent knocks on the
Speaker 1: door three hours later, yeah, oh thank god, where's my child?
Speaker 1: You got? I just put into bed. I just he
Speaker 1: didn't have the sign on him, but his allegics to
Speaker 1: seafood is he Okay, I say we'll go and have
Speaker 1: a look. He's I've put him to bed. I told you,
Speaker 1: where's his papa? Yeah, this is puppa. He's pussing his
Speaker 1: papa papa earlier. Good stuff. Well, I think what we've
Speaker 1: done for charity today cannot be underestimated. The bravery that
Speaker 1: the two of you have shown in helping people in
Speaker 1: the is again not to be underestimated. Thank you, and
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Okay, here's the thing. Sure, I
Speaker 1: brought you back to life, and I'm glad I did.
Speaker 1: And you know what, You've been wise enough and good.
Speaker 1: I'm going to let you leave. However, however, just in
Speaker 1: case something were to happen and I changed my mind,
Speaker 1: what one meal would you leave in a will in
Speaker 1: case you died again? Lead panbles. I'll ask the question
Speaker 1: everyone always asked. Does it have to be from from
Speaker 1: the foods that we've talked about today, No, it can
Speaker 1: be a brand new one. I'm leaving my lasagna described
Speaker 1: the lasagna. Please, It's like any lasagna would have had before,
Speaker 1: but I pack it with more flavor. The ragou is
Speaker 1: slow cooked. I put more cheese in between each layer,
Speaker 1: mozzarella parmesan. I put cheddar in the bechemal, even though
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to it. Just you take it out.
Speaker 1: It's stretches, it's melting, and then you leave it for
Speaker 1: two seconds and it becomes rock hard with cheese. It's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. I've never had this before, never had lasagna.
Speaker 1: You must come over, please, you must leave it to
Speaker 1: change in your in your will, Yes, the genie. What
Speaker 1: would you like? What meal would you like to leave
Speaker 1: in your wheel? Treats a broccoli pasta? Actually so broccoli pasta. Yeah,
Speaker 1: talked about it on the last one. Last men used
Speaker 1: to be buried with my favorite favorite recipe. I'll make
Speaker 1: it at least once a week. We've got. Me and
Speaker 1: my girlfriend have gone through stages of eating it way
Speaker 1: too much. It always sounds good when whenever one of
Speaker 1: us says want truths of Buffy pasta tonight, the other
Speaker 1: one's like, oh, that sounds amazing. Last time I said that,
Speaker 1: my girlfriend said you want truth a Boccy pasta tonight?
Speaker 1: I went, that sounds amazing, and she went, it does,
Speaker 1: doesn't it? It's prophetic? How it still still sounds amazing
Speaker 1: to us. We asked. We were with them the other
Speaker 1: day and we asked James and his girlfriend about it,
Speaker 1: and they both glazed over in a way that suggests
Speaker 1: that we eat that so much. But they were both
Speaker 1: thinking about it and they both wanted it. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just delicious. I was thinking Ed's doing a show with
Speaker 1: Tom Kerridge, and I thought the other day, I bet
Speaker 1: I could make true It's so broccoli pasta for Tom
Speaker 1: Kerridge and he would think it was brilliant. He would,
Speaker 1: I thought, I bet, I bet he would think it's
Speaker 1: brilliant even though it's a very simple dish, goes straightforward.
Speaker 1: He could do it in his sleep. I bet it
Speaker 1: still blow its mind if I made him too. It's
Speaker 1: a Rocci pasta. You can ability this is amazing. Okay
Speaker 1: for comic relief, Ed and I are going to make
Speaker 1: a cheese tasty double yubag and bun thing that I'm
Speaker 1: going to have one bite of. Now you are going
Speaker 1: to cook sure It's so broccoli pastor for Tom Carr.
Speaker 1: Look carriage, if you're listening, if you're if you're up
Speaker 1: for it, let's do it. I will happily make a
Speaker 1: cho it's a broccoli pasta for tom carriage. He'd go,
Speaker 1: oh that's lovely, that that's lush. Yeah, yeah, well you two,
Speaker 1: Is there anything you would like to say before you
Speaker 1: head off into your your life. But nice to see you,
Speaker 1: Nice to see your Brett. We're going to get you
Speaker 1: on even though you keep you keep saying you don't
Speaker 1: want to do it and that you've got nothing to say,
Speaker 1: We're going to get you on proper off menu one day.
Speaker 1: Is that what you say now that you don't want
Speaker 1: to do it? Because before there was a very long
Speaker 1: stage where you were angry as for not having you
Speaker 1: on it yet, and now if you changed it to
Speaker 1: you're not going to do it anymore? Well, no, I was,
Speaker 1: you know, deeply offended not to be asked. I mean
Speaker 1: I wanted to do it. Yeah yeah, yeah, okay. But
Speaker 1: every time I've ever dangled the possibility in front of you,
Speaker 1: you immediately pull back from it. That's what's always happened,
Speaker 1: because I am like, well, I mean, what are we
Speaker 1: going to talk about? What? What? How are we going
Speaker 1: to fit an hour? The Genie Rederick Framble's what a delight?
Speaker 1: I love you both. Love you have a wonderful and
Speaker 1: happy Comic Relief to you. Happy, happy comic relief to you. Yes, Relief,
Speaker 1: love you, Bret Heaven Nose, try mineapples. So that was
Speaker 1: men used to be buried with the resurrection. You have
Speaker 1: the power to do something incredible this red Nose Day.
Speaker 1: Whether it's a little or a lot. The money you
Speaker 1: donate will help tackle poverty, take action against violence, and
Speaker 1: bring an end to discrimination. Give now at Comic Relief
Speaker 1: dot com forward slash podcast mash up. Alternatively, you can
Speaker 1: text podcast to seven zo two one zo to give
Speaker 1: ten pounds today. To donate ten pounds, text the word
Speaker 1: podcast to seven Z two one zero. Text across your
Speaker 1: donation amount plus your standard network message charged at one
Speaker 1: hundred percent of your donation will go to Comic Relief
Speaker 1: and registered charity. You must be sixteen or over and
Speaker 1: please ask the billpayers permission. For full times and conditions,
Speaker 1: visit Comic Relief dot com podcast match up. Thank you
Speaker 1: all for listening. I hope you're all having a wonderful time,
Speaker 1: and in the meantime, take care and please eat excellent
Speaker 1: to each other. Fo