Speaker 1: The Nicky Gliser Podcast. Glaser, here's Nikki. Hello, here I am.
Speaker 1: It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicky Glazer. I'm in
Speaker 1: Saint Louis. Welcome to a very special episode of the
Speaker 1: Nickey Glazer Podcast. It's an all sunglasses episode. Everyone's wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cool as shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it started slow. This wasn't a planned The podcast
Speaker 1: is delayed today because uh Noah and Brian both went
Speaker 1: out to their car to get the sunglasses to fit
Speaker 1: the theme that we came up with, medication.
Speaker 3: It's almost like Halloween.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it does feel like there's a different vibe.
Speaker 1: And with sunglasses on, I feel so protected. I feel
Speaker 1: so cool. I feel cool, like almost to the level
Speaker 1: of smoking a cigarette cool because of how how much
Speaker 1: it elevates your coolness instantly just visually. So I feel cool.
Speaker 1: And I also feel like protected and people like don't
Speaker 1: want to bother me, so I feel like a little
Speaker 1: bit intro like I can exist. It feels good, but
Speaker 1: it's weird to do when you're broadcasting. It's like, you're right.
Speaker 1: Well's Jenny McCarthy does it because she just doesn't want
Speaker 1: people to look at her aging eyes and it's that
Speaker 1: is a good trick because that's the first thing that
Speaker 1: goes it's so smart.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you look like but she looks cool. You look
Speaker 3: like John look like John Mulaney on uh on the
Speaker 3: seth Meyers during that interview where he wears sunglasses, and
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, oh.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well yeah yeah, possibly hiding is Yeah, you
Speaker 1: look like you might be hiding a problem that you're
Speaker 1: dealing with because the eyes tell all, you know. Really,
Speaker 1: I was doing a bit. I'm doing a bit about that.
Speaker 1: Like older women. I used to think that things that
Speaker 1: are stylish for older women. I used to think are
Speaker 1: just like those older women are just stylish, but it's
Speaker 1: really they're just doing things to conceal their age. Like
Speaker 1: I thought turtlenecks were just meant that you like read
Speaker 1: a lot of books like you were, just like Diane
Speaker 1: Keaton just looks smart because she wears turtle necks. But
Speaker 1: she's smart because she's covering up her neck, which is
Speaker 1: the part that people don't want to see anymore.
Speaker 3: Nothing hides her a more than a coffin.
Speaker 2: And I love that we're taking it back though, like
Speaker 2: mom jeans who are definitely started to hide the mom
Speaker 2: belly aloneeah.
Speaker 3: And now they're bad.
Speaker 2: Youth is like appropriating, which I love.
Speaker 3: On the plane yesterday I saw like she was like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, seventeen years old wearing or let's say
Speaker 3: eighteen years old wearing mom jeans, Like really, what.
Speaker 1: Is a mom jean anymore? Because I just was doing
Speaker 1: some dunhim shopping. I bought like so many jeans that
Speaker 1: are coming my way, and I just went crazy. Anya
Speaker 1: and I were just talking before the podcast about how
Speaker 1: we are shopping to make ourselves happier. It's your kick
Speaker 1: up today.
Speaker 2: I was like, today's a day I need to buy
Speaker 2: a ton of shit that I'll regret, but it's gonna
Speaker 2: fill the deep void inside me in a big way,
Speaker 2: reminding me.
Speaker 1: Of the Amy Schumer sketch called like new Body. And
Speaker 1: she goes to shop and Jesse Klein is working at
Speaker 1: this really high on boutique and she's like, let's buy
Speaker 1: some clothes for your new body. And she's like, I
Speaker 1: think my new body is going to be a size too.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh my god, that sounds amazing. I can't
Speaker 1: wait to see your new body, and so any like
Speaker 1: puts on a pair of jeans and it's just on her,
Speaker 1: like she can only fit like up to her ankle,
Speaker 1: like into these jeans, and she's Jesse Klein is like
Speaker 1: they're amazing. It's so funny. But that's how I'm fine shopping.
Speaker 1: I've been like working out more so I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I've got to buy some clothes for my
Speaker 1: new body.
Speaker 2: It's like vacation self. I'm always like, I'm going to
Speaker 2: read these four books on this week long vacation, and
Speaker 2: I don't crack one of them.
Speaker 1: I brought two with me this weekend on the road.
Speaker 1: Two books ambitious. I never even grew one, and if
Speaker 1: I do, it's on my phone. But two shell books.
Speaker 3: You bring one anything, well, I'll probably gonna finish this one.
Speaker 3: Then I want to be stuck without a book, so
Speaker 3: you bring the second one? Is that was?
Speaker 1: I don't It was just like a wanted variety. It's
Speaker 1: like when I know I want to decide, and you
Speaker 1: know what I took a picture of because I wanted
Speaker 1: to promote Gary Goleman's book called, uh what's it called?
Speaker 1: It's so good? And obviously it's not because it's not
Speaker 1: catching enough for me, misfit, But I like I like
Speaker 1: the title of it because the eye is kind of
Speaker 1: a skew, like it's it doesn't fit in with the
Speaker 1: rest of the letters, and I thought that was very clever. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it's really good. But I'm reading that and I wanted
Speaker 1: to promote it. And then I also had the the
Speaker 1: fucking four Plans or whatever. I'm I'm, you know, crawling
Speaker 1: through that because I really wanted to absorb in my soul.
Speaker 1: I'm like trying to read it very slowly. If I
Speaker 1: miss a sentence, I like, if I'm daydreaming, I gotta
Speaker 1: go back, like I'm trying to like Gary's I could
Speaker 1: drive daydream through even though you actually can't, because it
Speaker 1: is so like he's such a good writer. I have
Speaker 1: to like constantly look up words, which I kind of
Speaker 1: love because I'm like, I should know this work. He's
Speaker 1: an intelligent person and the way he just paints a picture,
Speaker 1: with the way he talks and writes, he's just so good.
Speaker 1: And it's also cool, Like I was writing to him saying,
Speaker 1: it's so fun, like I get to spend this like
Speaker 1: very intimate weekend with my friend and like get to
Speaker 1: know my friend on a level that like I would
Speaker 1: never or you know, it might take many dinners, because
Speaker 1: it's like books are more like honest. Yeah sometimes then
Speaker 1: because yeah, then with your actual friends. So it's really
Speaker 1: nice to have his like just my just listening to
Speaker 1: my friend's life story is like awesome. But then I
Speaker 1: paired it with the four Agreements, and I feel like
Speaker 1: Gary is kind of about that life and so it's
Speaker 1: like injecting that in a nonfiction. I mean both are
Speaker 1: non fiction, but it's just they. But anyway, I posted
Speaker 1: a picture of Gary's book, and then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: these pair well together. And I was like, like almost
Speaker 1: like a whine was something. I'm like, oh, they actually do.
Speaker 1: So I not only did I bring two books ambitiously,
Speaker 1: I read both of them extensively, and I went back
Speaker 1: and forth like it was like a whole I think
Speaker 1: I came up with a new thing that works for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is to bring variety.
Speaker 3: Sure, and then we go.
Speaker 1: Back and so you've read on the book up and
Speaker 1: you read the books. I read both the books and
Speaker 1: made hard dents and both of them.
Speaker 3: That's impressive.
Speaker 2: Bitch, you are killing it. I feel you are your
Speaker 2: dream self. You that is like a future body.
Speaker 1: That's so true. I almost bought a shirt today that
Speaker 1: said weird on it like a tank top. It just
Speaker 1: as weird, but it was like kind of cool font. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I felt like it's kind of keh because saying
Speaker 1: like I am weird, you know, but I kind of
Speaker 1: like it because we'd is my biggest fear. Like I
Speaker 1: don't like being weird. Obviously, I'm always like why am
Speaker 1: I not like other people? Like that's my baseline shame.
Speaker 1: But like I feel like wearing a shirt that says
Speaker 1: it would be like owning it kind of.
Speaker 3: Weird co opted by people who are not fun, like
Speaker 3: people say like, oh, keep Portland weird, and all it
Speaker 3: means is that you wear like sandals with soft.
Speaker 1: Can I change? Can I take anything weird? Because you're
Speaker 1: right weird? Is it just quirky or autistic? But I
Speaker 1: like autistic is kind of what I mean by that.
Speaker 1: I think autistic people are weird. And don't quote me on.
Speaker 3: That dot com and it just says all of your
Speaker 3: most famous quotes and even me if you start for me,
Speaker 3: there's like some stupid quote, but that could be a
Speaker 3: great one.
Speaker 1: To have on Oh really, Oh my god, I've never
Speaker 1: checked to that is that like, it's Wiki feet for
Speaker 1: dumb shit.
Speaker 3: You said, no, it's not dumb shit.
Speaker 1: It's like a rating site that people basically like.
Speaker 3: An AI aggregator has found quotes that you may probably
Speaker 3: in articles, and it says like, what, let's see if
Speaker 3: what happens when you search Nikki.
Speaker 1: I'm very scared of this. I actually am very comfortable,
Speaker 1: but I'm allowing it to happen because it's good radio.
Speaker 2: The Blazer comedy writer was interesting, weren't you like joking
Speaker 2: about pylons. You're like, give me a break. If pylons
Speaker 2: were in my future, I would be a swerving garbage.
Speaker 1: Wait what are you talking about? I don't follow this
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: Everyone Brian was like, write a joke in the style,
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yes, no, it was talking about cones.
Speaker 1: Rones, Yeah, traffic cones. The Tradashians are like traffic cones.
Speaker 1: They're orange, they're in the way and I can't get
Speaker 1: to work on job. And it was like a it's
Speaker 1: almost there.
Speaker 4: It was so close.
Speaker 1: You go, oh, okay, I take a job, and then
Speaker 1: the last one you just go, no, you lost it.
Speaker 3: So these are Nicki Glazer quotes from Brainy quote, which
Speaker 3: these are things that you have said at some point,
Speaker 3: most likely in an article, but some of them later
Speaker 3: with likes, and they might be also from your stand up.
Speaker 1: So it's hard to say, okay, I probably won't be
Speaker 1: able to say so some of them are.
Speaker 3: It's like some of them are very innocuous, like I
Speaker 3: like putting myself in uncomfortable situations, Nikki Glazer. So you've
Speaker 3: probably said that, okay, or I like guys with a
Speaker 3: sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind
Speaker 3: Niki Glazer, you're ever saying that?
Speaker 2: That's great?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is that's submitted for my gravestone. Actually, I
Speaker 1: don't know how they got that, because that's what those
Speaker 1: are the words I want to be left on this earth.
Speaker 1: Having said, is that I like who smile and have
Speaker 1: kind eyes. What is it against? What a worthless thing?
Speaker 3: I like guys with a sense of humor who are
Speaker 3: smile a lot and are kind, Well.
Speaker 1: Are smile a lot? I bet I say that? I
Speaker 1: bet I was like, I like guys with a sense
Speaker 1: of humor who are smile a lot. You know, like
Speaker 1: I probably said it like that and they miss it's misquoted,
Speaker 1: and now I sound like an idiot. But I stand
Speaker 1: by that. I think guys need to smile more, and
Speaker 1: I think that's a good a that's a little good
Speaker 1: piece of wisdom for the in cell community to find
Speaker 1: a woman. Just smile Warren. Guys.
Speaker 3: Oh, they put there's actually a whole image with this one,
Speaker 3: like it's a meme. There's actually this is a Nikky
Speaker 3: Glazer quote. There's actually a thing called wiki feet that's
Speaker 3: the Wikipedia of celebrity girls feet. So how profound. Now, Also,
Speaker 3: I feel like you just said that five seconds ago.
Speaker 1: I did, and I don't talk about wiki feet that much.
Speaker 1: I don't think I updated now, but I like that,
Speaker 1: please update it because all I was doing and that
Speaker 1: is giving information that is already I didn't. That literally
Speaker 1: says nothing. It's probably for what we were talking about this show.
Speaker 1: But there's no I have no editorialization of it. There's
Speaker 1: no opinion about stating that exists.
Speaker 3: Google dot com is a search engine. If you're typing
Speaker 3: Google may jokes.
Speaker 1: That is what they put is me just explaining the
Speaker 1: existence of.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, that's what's on here. Well you have like,
Speaker 3: here's another one.
Speaker 1: Are you picking purposely?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, that one had a whole image associated with the
Speaker 3: only one that's been highlighted with like a memel like image.
Speaker 1: You have to think that a bot made that, because
Speaker 1: who would think that's profound enough for like a faded
Speaker 1: image of me like that, like a mimeograph of me? No, okay,
Speaker 1: go on, what's the next one.
Speaker 3: The more you work in this business as a comedian,
Speaker 3: the closer you get to just being yourself on stage
Speaker 3: on camera, the more well received you are.
Speaker 2: So oh my god, I not to interrupt it all,
Speaker 2: but I'm interrupting. I found a file on my phone
Speaker 2: called Nikkeism, so this is the next best thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, can we give these to that? Because these are funnier?
Speaker 1: I like, can I just say, Brian, those are bots?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 3: These are things you have said and the bots have clicked.
Speaker 1: I get it, but like, why is there no correction?
Speaker 3: One more?
Speaker 1: One more?
Speaker 3: And then we didn't one of your top quotes. I
Speaker 3: think this says more about you than any quote I've
Speaker 3: ever read.
Speaker 1: This is why we won't be replaced by bots. Okay.
Speaker 3: Well, Rob Thomas loves, okay, nothing more than for couples
Speaker 3: to go on dates, and he loves chocolates boxes. This
Speaker 3: is not of twenty chocolates ni.
Speaker 1: Okay, I did say that. Okay, you want to know
Speaker 1: why said that? Because we had a segment on some
Speaker 1: show I did. I think it was Nick and Sarah
Speaker 1: Alive where Valentine's Day. Rob Thomas's birthday is February fourteenth.
Speaker 1: So we were like, that's why it got that name.
Speaker 1: And we were like, because some things that that's why
Speaker 1: we celebrate Rob Thomas's birthday and by giving chocolates because
Speaker 1: he loves chocolates. Like we that's from a bit. I
Speaker 1: didn't write that bit. I probably said those words on TV,
Speaker 1: but again take it out of context. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: think we tried to get a movement of saying happy
Speaker 1: Rob Thomas's birthday. And so if like you don't have
Speaker 1: a partner, don't look at it like Valentine's Day, just
Speaker 1: be like happy Rob Thomas's birthday. Yes, yes, so that's
Speaker 1: where it comes from. Okay, what's the real Nikkisms?
Speaker 2: Okay, non secretor of Nikkiism. I hate Julia Fox's stomach
Speaker 2: so much.
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, I love that.
Speaker 2: One because it's so relatable.
Speaker 1: Oh, we don't bet about that one. Let me say
Speaker 1: when I say that because I'm kind of obsessed with
Speaker 1: her now because I did just read a New Yorker.
Speaker 1: I think it's the New Yorker did a piece on
Speaker 1: her and she just wrote a book and I can't
Speaker 1: wait to read it. And I think she is so
Speaker 1: fascinating and talk about someone who's weird and just like
Speaker 1: owns it. I am obsessed with her. And I take
Speaker 1: back that quote I like love her stomach because I
Speaker 1: think one day I was just like triggered by it
Speaker 1: because it was too thin, and I was just like, God,
Speaker 1: I want my stomach to look like that. So I
Speaker 1: think that's why I said that. But like, honestly, I
Speaker 1: think she's awesome, Like have you read any of the
Speaker 1: stuff that I'm so intrigued by her and and I
Speaker 1: would like to be friends with her, I think. So
Speaker 1: I feel bad about saying that, but it was.
Speaker 2: Really turned around. It was her whole image. Yeah, this
Speaker 2: was this was ages ago during like a Yeah.
Speaker 1: What she was doing was trying to fuck she doesn't
Speaker 1: She did the same thing that Shinead O'Connor did, which
Speaker 1: was like, if you're gonna sexualize me, I'm going to
Speaker 1: like repulse you, Like you don't like that I'm getting
Speaker 1: too thin, So I'm gonna get really thin because you
Speaker 1: hate it. Now I'm gonna get really fat because you
Speaker 1: just seem to hate it. Like she wanted to reject
Speaker 1: what people wanted from her. If a guy was turned
Speaker 1: on by something, she would do the opposite, and that's
Speaker 1: what led her to like lose a bunch of weight.
Speaker 1: I read this whole thing. So now love love, love
Speaker 1: her and Shanning. Yeah, so what's my next one?
Speaker 2: This one time when I said, how are you you?
Speaker 1: Text me.
Speaker 2: I'm in a cemetery trying to cry. That's my favorite.
Speaker 2: I think I have a screenshot of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me predict what the day was.
Speaker 2: Okay, you were in New Orleans.
Speaker 1: I know, I was totally in the Cayman Islands. I
Speaker 1: think I went there a lot. I was trying to
Speaker 1: like release emotions, and I would go on these runs
Speaker 1: and I would go to these like really cool cemeteries
Speaker 1: and I would walk sit there and like look at
Speaker 1: the sunset and try to be like come on, cry bitch,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't get there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so good to cry, man, It's just oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: here's what ails you for about a couple hours and it.
Speaker 1: Comes Yeah, I'm not comfortable during it. It's like it
Speaker 1: does feel good at the end of it, but during it,
Speaker 1: I never really feel like I'm like, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: just leaning into this and it feels I feel comfortable crying,
Speaker 1: I guess is the point I can do it. But
Speaker 1: the whole time, I'm like, this is a nuisance to
Speaker 1: my life and I know that this is gonna feel stupid,
Speaker 1: get an orgasm. You just are like, oh, that was embarrassing,
Speaker 1: like the faces I just made, the sounds I just made.
Speaker 1: But you're like, I feel better, but like record of that.
Speaker 3: Huh, even when you're not in public, if you're just
Speaker 3: crying in your room alone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that then that starts to get me. And I've
Speaker 1: talked about this before. I just start to feel like, oh,
Speaker 1: were you shit? I was so much to a sad
Speaker 1: for themselves and being a whittle? Are you filming a
Speaker 1: scene on Dawson's Queak Auston just break up? I always
Speaker 1: feel like I'm just, uh, it feels performative. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: so strange, like this guilt around it, even though I
Speaker 1: obviously know that it's not. But I'm not. I cannot
Speaker 1: cry alone. I just have no interest in crying.
Speaker 3: Alone.
Speaker 1: I can only cry when someone asked me about my
Speaker 1: life and I'm so worked up about it, I can't
Speaker 1: stop but like cry. My therapist is always like what's
Speaker 1: coming up for you? And I'm like, just let it,
Speaker 1: don't call it out, just let me do it. I
Speaker 1: run for the tissue box and I'm like, no, just like,
Speaker 1: let me cry. Don't worry about stopping it up right now,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's like when you got a sneeze, you can't you
Speaker 3: can't focus on it. You just got to let it
Speaker 3: go or else. As soon as you try to want
Speaker 3: to see it stops.
Speaker 1: Yes, you can't chase it. Yeah, I've been trying my
Speaker 1: goon and trick again where you smile so you don't come,
Speaker 1: because I've been like I just got back into disturbating
Speaker 1: after like months. No, it's so creepy, dude, I don't
Speaker 1: or with yeah someone, Yeah that's where not embarrassed to cry.
Speaker 1: But I'm easily I can go from being really turned
Speaker 1: on watching a porn video to like just smiling like
Speaker 1: I'm in a picture for you know, my third grade
Speaker 1: class picture. Just like make your face smile almost like
Speaker 1: just tighten your jaw to a smile and then it'll
Speaker 1: stop whatever sexiness is going on for a second.
Speaker 3: No, like Hault, Oh yeah, comedy is the anti sex
Speaker 3: for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If you're having sex with somebody and you start laughing
Speaker 3: or something's funny, it's like game over.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: True, it just changes the mood. You can giggle and stuff,
Speaker 1: and you can flirt and stuff like that. Like that's
Speaker 1: my new thing with Chris is that I I started
Speaker 1: just flirting with him, so I'll like throw a pillow
Speaker 1: on him and he's like, what are you doing. I'm
Speaker 1: just like just flirting and like I just look, it's
Speaker 1: so fun to do because I'll just like annoy him,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm just trying to flirt with you,
Speaker 1: like I'm trying to connect, but it'll be very annoying.
Speaker 1: You have to spell it out, yeah, and like I'm
Speaker 1: just but it makes it funny or that for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: it allows us to flirt. Actually by saying like I'm
Speaker 1: flirting right now, because I'm like, I'm too awkward at
Speaker 1: doing something that's like that. I just want to say
Speaker 1: what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: Yes, I remember when I got home from Europe, I
Speaker 2: hadn't seen Matt for like three weeks because he was
Speaker 2: on tour. Then I was on tour.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's so awkward and new.
Speaker 2: We sucked for the like literally three days of being home,
Speaker 2: we just kept going, you're very weird. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: you were flirting. It was like borderline fight but like
Speaker 2: kind of flirty. And I'm like, okay, we just have
Speaker 2: to stop this now, like what do we just have.
Speaker 1: To have sex?
Speaker 3: Is what we have to do.
Speaker 2: We have to have sex, and we're trying to like
Speaker 2: dogs sniffing each other's holes, Like are you the dog
Speaker 2: I've seen from around?
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't. I I don't have that with Chris
Speaker 1: anymore because I'm gone. It's it happens so much. But
Speaker 1: we used to have that lag of time because it
Speaker 1: would if we don't do it enough. But now that
Speaker 1: we do it all the time, it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: exciting though it's it's nice to always kind of be
Speaker 1: you get to see someone very frequently, but you're also
Speaker 1: missing them a lot, Like it is really good for
Speaker 1: a relationship. I think times of missing Yeah, I miss
Speaker 1: him right away when I like leave and I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: it'd be fun to be on this plane with him
Speaker 1: because I just flew with him recently or whatever, and
Speaker 1: so I'll be like, oh, it's it was better with him,
Speaker 1: and like shoot him a text. But then I end
Speaker 1: up embracing being alone too, Like that's when I'm asked
Speaker 1: I'm not masturbating, if the plan I'm gooning, But yes,
Speaker 1: I'm smelling the whole time, so no one knows it.
Speaker 2: That's smiling at an airport under a blanket.
Speaker 1: Don't lean in for a selfie before we go to break?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, please. I can't wait to learn from this
Speaker 1: the worlsdom applicable I've bestowed upon people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I never feel guilty or anything. After a podcast,
Speaker 3: I feel better Glazer.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, no, that's not that's never is not the truth.
Speaker 1: There's been many times where I feel guilty because it
Speaker 1: wasn't good. But I think what I was saying in
Speaker 1: that podcast was that I never feel guilty about something
Speaker 1: I've said, and that's also not true. But I don't panic.
Speaker 1: I just take care of it and say like, hey,
Speaker 1: can you take that thing out? Or I let it
Speaker 1: sit until I like I go. You know what, if
Speaker 1: this is a problem enough of that you should feel
Speaker 1: guilty about it, you should remember it later, you know,
Speaker 1: like if you forget then it's probably not that big
Speaker 1: of a deal. So they take out and sometimes instantly
Speaker 1: it's like easy to make that call. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: but if it really weighs on my conscience. I always
Speaker 1: struggle with that word. I always want to say conscious.
Speaker 1: If it's weighing on it, then I think it'll naturally
Speaker 1: like I'll remember it. Do you think that's a good
Speaker 1: system or do you think you should joppo?
Speaker 3: It is true of jokes, like if I remember if
Speaker 3: I if I don't want to write down a joke,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, if it's really funny, I'll remember it,
Speaker 3: and then it's like, oh fuck, that was funny and
Speaker 3: I forgot it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where I kind of That's why I asked
Speaker 1: if you think that that works, because I think maybe
Speaker 1: it does the same thing as the joke thing, where
Speaker 1: you will unless you write down, you will forget it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, unless it's negative and traumatic, I have
Speaker 2: to my memory does not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 2: It's like this isn't important. Oh someone hates you remember
Speaker 2: that forever.
Speaker 1: No, it's easy to remember what berries to eat and
Speaker 1: what ones tastes good. That's not like a thing like
Speaker 1: that's why our evolution remembers things that are harmful. It's
Speaker 1: like gotta remember not to get diarrhea from eating that berry.
Speaker 1: So like remember bad stuff they got me, but good
Speaker 1: berries like, yeah, they can kind of for like if
Speaker 1: you don't remember it, then it's probably safe or whatever.
Speaker 1: Or you haven't thrown you haven't gotten you know, diarrhea
Speaker 1: until you died from it yet. All right, let's go
Speaker 1: take a break and we'll be back with more after this.
Speaker 1: All right, we're back. I'm going to New York today
Speaker 1: in like an hour, I think my less than hour.
Speaker 1: My car is coming to do a fuck ton of press.
Speaker 1: I'm gearing up for f Boy Island. It's coming out
Speaker 1: October sixteenth, Monday on the CW. And so the hard
Speaker 1: the hardest thing about making a show is I think
Speaker 1: the press or like the the least fun. Is it
Speaker 1: part of your contractually it's fun. You have to do
Speaker 1: it or you choose to do it. No, No, I
Speaker 1: choose to do it. I mean, I think it is
Speaker 1: part of your contract that you'll do something. But I
Speaker 1: do because I want, I just want the show isn't
Speaker 1: if it were my show I could pick and choose,
Speaker 1: and it is my show. I'm an EP on it.
Speaker 1: But I really wanted to succeed, and so I can't
Speaker 1: turn down something thinking, oh, that could have been one
Speaker 1: house with a Nielsen box listening to that dumb show
Speaker 1: I did, like that would kill me. That we don't
Speaker 1: get the rating that we deserve because it's because the
Speaker 1: ratings are so stupid. So you just got to cast
Speaker 1: a wide nut and get the word out as much
Speaker 1: as you can.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be questions you wish people would ask you.
Speaker 2: I'm just projecting that you're driting this because the questions
Speaker 2: are probably all the same.
Speaker 1: I think I know, I I honestly don't. I did
Speaker 1: some prep calls today because I'm doing Sherry Shepherd's show tomorrow. Oh,
Speaker 1: it will have happened already, but it's available. Yes, sorry,
Speaker 1: it already happened. Guys, it was yesterday, but it's online.
Speaker 1: And that was a really fun one because.
Speaker 2: How did you feel about it yesterday?
Speaker 1: I think it went so great series, so fun did
Speaker 1: you work with Yeah? I met her on she was
Speaker 1: on You Up the Radio show to tell the Truth. Yes,
Speaker 1: she was also want to tell the truth and that's
Speaker 1: where I got to know her, and she like she
Speaker 1: just like confided in me right away about some like
Speaker 1: personal shit and I don't even really remember what it
Speaker 1: was about, but I remember thinking, because I did, it's
Speaker 1: not my secrets. Like it felt like she was like
Speaker 1: confiding me. I'm glad I forgot it because I probably
Speaker 1: shouldn't have known it and she was probably just going
Speaker 1: through something and like sharing over sharing, that's how much
Speaker 1: I wasn't like, yes, I have this information, but I
Speaker 1: remember her sharing something with me that I was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: she really trusts me, and she should because my memory
Speaker 1: shit and no, but I was like, oh, that's really nice.
Speaker 1: And so I'm looking forward to seeing her again. And
Speaker 1: I am a huge fan of hers from thirty Rock.
Speaker 1: She played Tracy Morgan's wife, and she it's one of
Speaker 1: like the best character actor like funny characters ever. She's
Speaker 1: so good in it. And I.
Speaker 2: In the show, they were always.
Speaker 1: Like about seductive and cool. She's just cool. I love her.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited to do that show and it'll be easy.
Speaker 1: And then so yeah, I had a call with the
Speaker 1: producer and she just sent me ahead of time a
Speaker 1: bunch of questions and then I just like filled them out,
Speaker 1: like on my laptop this morning getting Starbucks, and then
Speaker 1: I sent them to her and she looked through them
Speaker 1: and was like, oh my god, this is great. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. I pretty much like did a transcript
Speaker 1: of like the jokes I would say and like the
Speaker 1: stories I would tell. So really, I that's what I
Speaker 1: would want from producers. If are there any producers listening
Speaker 1: that are producing a segment for me soon. First of all,
Speaker 1: thank you for listening to this podcast, because that means
Speaker 1: you're doing research and you're going the extra mile, which
Speaker 1: is anal Do we cover that yesterday?
Speaker 2: Niggy Loves It's on that website where reading from.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right, but uh so yeah. I just
Speaker 1: what you should do is you should send me questions
Speaker 1: you think I would want to talk about, and then
Speaker 1: I'll go through them and go yeah no and yeah,
Speaker 1: no whatever, and then I'll a good comic will generally
Speaker 1: like just work in their jokes, but I want to.
Speaker 1: I want to give me something to start with. I
Speaker 1: like when they do that. So that was very nice.
Speaker 1: And then I'm doing the Today Show. I had a
Speaker 1: great call with that guy. He did a ton of
Speaker 1: research and just we just talked on the phone and
Speaker 1: did an interview. He didn't like send me questions and
Speaker 1: that went great. And I'm doing the Today Show on Thursday.
Speaker 1: And then I just got booked on the Kelly Clarkson
Speaker 1: Show for Wednesday. Next Wednesday. No, it's this Wednesday. No,
Speaker 1: I thought it was next Wednesday. I told it what
Speaker 1: you was next Wednesday, But it's today. It already happened today. Sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: it's so often people should look for I also killed
Speaker 1: it on My Shepherd and she's in New York Today's Show.
Speaker 1: Because by the time this podcast is out, you would
Speaker 1: have already appeared that morning. No, Today's Show Thursday. It's
Speaker 1: this tomorrow morning. It's Thursday morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But by the time people listen to this, it'll probably
Speaker 1: have aired. Oh yeah, you guys have missed everything I did.
Speaker 1: By the time this came out, we really blew it.
Speaker 1: And you know what a lot of these shows that
Speaker 1: didn't get pooked on until last second. I'm going to
Speaker 1: manifest that I'm doing fallon on Friday that just came up.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna manifest that I just think I'm in town.
Speaker 1: I'm free that night, putting it out there Jimmy. I
Speaker 1: know he's the best of attraction.
Speaker 2: He's a.
Speaker 1: Straighter things have happened, But yeah, actually I would not.
Speaker 1: Don't please don't book me on that. I need a
Speaker 1: night off, because I would do it. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: I will say yes to everything.
Speaker 2: A psychology, but I'll be saying please don't.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh shit, who knows what I really want?
Speaker 1: Whatever happens happened, I will say yes to whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Falin's gonna go great and you guys can catch that
Speaker 1: one tomorrow Friday. If this manifestation.
Speaker 2: Works, I'm manifesting singing, singing something together because you're both
Speaker 2: so musical.
Speaker 1: I'm a little stressed out by that because I have
Speaker 1: to write it like they write well great over there,
Speaker 1: but I would feel like, oh, I want to collab
Speaker 1: with and I just don't have time. I'm stressed out
Speaker 1: by the segment already. I can't do it. I can't PARENTI.
Speaker 1: And then they want Taylor and you to do something
Speaker 1: next week. We're gonna have one episode. We should let besties, No,
Speaker 1: that's speakers, Nicky's one episode next time, and you're doing
Speaker 1: more press I think yeah, in La and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be on the Talk in LA. You can get that
Speaker 1: one that's next week in LA. And then they're TLA Show,
Speaker 1: going to Yeah KTLA, And I'm doing a bunch of podcasts.
Speaker 1: Gonna be on Bert Chrascher's wife pod, Wife's podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be on Girl Guys, We Fucked Uh, the KFC Radio,
Speaker 1: and then like a bunch of others that I can't
Speaker 1: remember the names of right now, Nick Vile's podcast. We're
Speaker 1: gonna talk about the Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I got to catch up, and you
Speaker 2: have to catch up on Beckham It's so good.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I want to watch that. You love it.
Speaker 2: I've done a total one eighty. I was bashing it
Speaker 2: and I was only twenty minutes in and now I'm
Speaker 2: so deep. I'm I think I am going to start
Speaker 2: watching soccer.
Speaker 1: They're just so good.
Speaker 2: The Beckhams are so funny and watchable and sweet and cute,
Speaker 2: and he's such a good person and there's a lot
Speaker 2: to learn for anybody who wants to be excellent in
Speaker 2: any Like you love the Michael Jordan doctors.
Speaker 1: I love excellence, and I love watching sports documentaries because
Speaker 1: of that excellence. So I'm going to love this I
Speaker 1: watched by myself. I think I can't wait for Chris
Speaker 1: because I think this is something I want to watch asap.
Speaker 2: But Chris probably will be like, oh, it's done in
Speaker 2: the Errol Morris style of sports docs, or because they
Speaker 2: Fisher Stevens from Succession direct it. And it's oh my god.
Speaker 2: The people clips of themselves, but it's like the camera
Speaker 2: is in the thing that they're watching in the super
Speaker 2: room and it's so moving. So it's like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: taking my sunglasses off. Beckham's watching himself do something so
Speaker 2: important from his youth that was like a pivotal traumatic
Speaker 2: moment and they catch like the tears welling up.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's like when my quotes were read
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 3: Just now.
Speaker 1: That's exactly how that felt. I was watching tape all
Speaker 1: my greatest moment on the video cut a Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you could have seen the tears in my eyes. But
Speaker 1: you guys know I don't.
Speaker 3: Do you watch out Welcome to Wrexhams and well it's
Speaker 3: like a similar what you were just describing. They do
Speaker 3: that similarly where it's like it's about soccer too. It's
Speaker 3: about the soccer team that they bought and.
Speaker 1: Into that Ryan Reynolds is too charming, Like I just
Speaker 1: start to get like jealous that he exists, Like he's
Speaker 1: too like he's so handsome and funny, and I start
Speaker 1: like I should maybe just like have a little crushed
Speaker 1: chest watching that because I like both those like they're
Speaker 1: just so funny, but they're like also like I just
Speaker 1: don't know if it's for me, they're just too there's
Speaker 1: something that I can't watch because I'm so jealous. That
Speaker 1: does that make sense of like I'm jealous of their lives,
Speaker 1: although I will say obvious of two dudes, Rob mecan, Yeah, mcleheney,
Speaker 1: thank you. Oh fuck, that is so embarrassing. I love
Speaker 1: him so much, but I've never said his name out loud.
Speaker 1: I don't think ever. But that doesn't mean I when I'm.
Speaker 3: Skip it.
Speaker 1: If you ever see this, I'm so embarrassed because I
Speaker 1: am observe, I mean always. Sonny is one of the
Speaker 1: funny shows that has ever been without questions to the
Speaker 1: longest of all time. Oh it's it's oh yeah, it
Speaker 1: could right and just beat off the Simpsons that I
Speaker 1: think is it Bonanza?
Speaker 3: I thought it was mash but or something. Let me
Speaker 3: let me look at that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, please, it's so good man. I discovered Always Sonny.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget. It was like there's certain things where
Speaker 1: you discover them and you were like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be my thing, like thing, you know.
Speaker 1: I've had that in my life with Conan, with Seinfeld,
Speaker 1: with Friends, with Jennifer Aniston, with Dave Matthew's band, with
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, with Wilco, and with Always Sonny, with and
Speaker 1: I will add viep to that, I will add succession,
Speaker 1: like they become my thing. But Always Sonny is so
Speaker 1: oh tried and true. It's one of my favorite things
Speaker 1: that's ever been. But anyway, I only say this all
Speaker 1: and the reason that it's so weird that I forgot
Speaker 1: how to say his last name and I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: try to say it now because it's I'm scared, but
Speaker 1: I love him so much. But he reached out to
Speaker 1: me his his compliment. He tweeted at me when I
Speaker 1: did the roast of alc Bald, when it like it
Speaker 1: had come out, but it had like months later, it
Speaker 1: like went a little like someone it had like a moment,
Speaker 1: and he saw it and tweeted how brilliant it was,
Speaker 1: And that tweet meant as much to me as like
Speaker 1: when Taylor Swift wrote to me. I only read it once.
Speaker 1: I couldn't look at it again. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, like Breathless, that's someone I admire so much,
Speaker 1: who invented my favorite show, like like something I did
Speaker 1: and called me like it said brilliant or something. It
Speaker 1: said genius or something like. I don't remember it exactly
Speaker 1: and maybe I'm completely wrong, but it said something very
Speaker 1: very nice that I couldn't even handle. So anyway, uh,
Speaker 1: he someone wrote me and said can I give Rob
Speaker 1: your number? And I'm like, yes, he wants to talk
Speaker 1: to you about something.
Speaker 2: I'm like, fuat, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, yess And this is recent.
Speaker 1: So the tweet thing was in like twenty eighteen, nineteen
Speaker 1: something like that, and then nothing, and then this was
Speaker 1: a couple like a month less than a month ago,
Speaker 1: and I'm so I'm like yes please, and I'm like awaiting,
Speaker 1: like what is he going to ask me? And he
Speaker 1: asked me if he could give my number to his
Speaker 1: friend because they wanted to book me. He wanted to
Speaker 1: book me at his country club.
Speaker 2: Was great.
Speaker 1: Now, no, I loved it, and but what but he
Speaker 1: said other stuff in the message that was really nice
Speaker 1: and like congratulating me on my career and then also
Speaker 1: saying like how he admires like sobriety talks that I
Speaker 1: say and stuff. So it was just like really a
Speaker 1: nice message through and through and was I wasn't able
Speaker 1: to do the gig, but I would have done that gladly.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's actually was an incredible opportunity. But it
Speaker 1: was just so nice and I just love him so much,
Speaker 1: so I forget what we were talking about always Sonny, Wow,
Speaker 1: why do.
Speaker 2: We got you refuse to watch this show with Ryan Reels?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Back to that. So also, Rob, if you're still listening,
Speaker 1: I won't watch show now because I'm so jealous of
Speaker 1: how brilliant you are and now you're friends with Ryan Reynolds.
Speaker 1: It's too much and I can't and you, like, I
Speaker 1: am jealous because I wish I could invest in things
Speaker 1: that cool like it like makes I'm financially very like
Speaker 1: insecure about what I do with my money and how
Speaker 1: I best do it. And it's a dumb insecurity because
Speaker 1: I don't like educate myself to do better at it,
Speaker 1: but I'm always constantly ashamed that I could be doing
Speaker 1: cool things, and I think investing in a soccer team
Speaker 1: and having it pay off so much really irritated space.
Speaker 1: I'm jealous, So I don't want to watch it, even
Speaker 1: though I can learn from it. Like that's why I
Speaker 1: couldn't watch the Beckham thing. I was having a weekend
Speaker 1: where I was feeling like really fat and like just
Speaker 1: out of control in my body, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to watch Victoria Beckham bes tiny. I
Speaker 1: just like can't take it. As much as this interests me.
Speaker 1: But today I'm having a good body day. I just
Speaker 1: my new body's on its way. I just got I
Speaker 1: just got shipping confirmation, So I'm ready to let her
Speaker 1: body into my life. Otherwise, I like, I just know
Speaker 1: what's gonna make me not feel good and like compare
Speaker 1: and despair, and sometimes I have to avoid it.
Speaker 2: So Rob, here's what's gonna sell it for you. She
Speaker 2: is the honest one and the really well no no no.
Speaker 2: They both call each other on their shit. And you
Speaker 2: like that about.
Speaker 1: Seeing that clip. We've all seen the clip.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's another part too, where she's very open about
Speaker 2: stuff that he's not as open about and and she
Speaker 2: just like kind of roasts him and it's fun and
Speaker 2: you'll appreciate his excellence, his dedication, his determination and how
Speaker 2: he got so good because your.
Speaker 1: There's a whole story about how they used to spit
Speaker 1: on him when he lost a championship or something and
Speaker 1: how he was like, that's disgusting and like going through
Speaker 1: that is horrible, But he is like a billionaire. No,
Speaker 1: so I think it's like it was worth it, not
Speaker 1: that he should ever have been spat on, but I
Speaker 1: just heard that of like, it's disgusting what people did
Speaker 1: to him, And I'm like, but would you do that
Speaker 1: for a billionaires? Would you have people spit on you
Speaker 1: in the street?
Speaker 5: I would.
Speaker 1: It's not that he ever deserves it, and it is disgusting.
Speaker 3: They're not rebellion for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't he probably a billionaire?
Speaker 3: I don't know, but it's always sunny in Philadelphia. I
Speaker 3: want to confirm is currently the longest running live action sitcom.
Speaker 1: Well, congratulations were announcing it here.
Speaker 3: They have beaten do you want to guess you don't
Speaker 3: even know what this show is.
Speaker 1: Brob Nanza.
Speaker 3: They have beaten ABC's The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I mean I've heard of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so they're they're they wont already they haven't. They're
Speaker 3: not the longest friend show of all time. They're the
Speaker 3: longest running live action American sitcom.
Speaker 1: I wish I could do the I worked so hard
Speaker 1: at one point during the Pandemic to do a voiceover,
Speaker 1: not voiceover, but what's it called when you li lip
Speaker 1: sync for Charlie Dayman. But it was like the first no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's not day Man. It is the scene where they
Speaker 1: are starting a band and Charlie can't read, and so
Speaker 1: he just draws shapes on this keyboard and yeah, or
Speaker 1: like not a keyboard, but on the paper. There's just
Speaker 1: all these shapes and then he riffs it and at
Speaker 1: one point Rob almost starts laughing during it because it's
Speaker 1: the it's the funny thing. I remember seeing that scene
Speaker 1: and he's like trying to be Bob Dylan too, and
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of.
Speaker 2: He uh because it's the lyrics, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, he is. He can't play piano, but he
Speaker 1: can't actually, Charlie can't play pianos. He's like kind of
Speaker 1: a savant and he's good at singing, but his lyrics
Speaker 1: make no sense and they're weird and they get a
Speaker 1: little homo erotic and everyone gets uncomfortable and it's one
Speaker 1: of the it's the funniest scene I've ever seen. I
Speaker 1: think it's up there. It makes my top three scenes
Speaker 1: ever of funny.
Speaker 2: About you find it somewhere boys, the boy's soul like
Speaker 2: you have to put it in the hole or.
Speaker 1: That's all the day Man musical and that's so Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta pay the toll troll if you want to
Speaker 1: get the boys whole the boy's soul like, it's the
Speaker 1: boy's soul.
Speaker 2: Take the boys.
Speaker 1: But I want to do the Charlie rap and see
Speaker 1: if I can remember it's a talent I have. No
Speaker 1: it's let me find it because it's really good and
Speaker 1: I think it'll.
Speaker 3: Make for those of you wondering.
Speaker 1: They make people go with it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Baby Beckham does not have a billion dollars. He's
Speaker 3: got currently estimated at five hundred and fourteen million dollars,
Speaker 3: which is just nothing close to a billion.
Speaker 1: Oh so he's a poor he's so poor.
Speaker 3: He's one of those.
Speaker 1: A callback that's a hamddrip for the secret episode that's
Speaker 1: coming up. Okay Charlie's song. Oh it's already out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everything's out. No, God damn it. Cherry, you can waltch
Speaker 1: to a s Sherry Shepherd. You can go listen. If
Speaker 1: you join the Diamond Players, you can listen to our
Speaker 1: true what's it called truse Intrusive Thoughts episode where we
Speaker 1: get real I'm trying to find it. But anyway, that
Speaker 1: that's a scene that I just remember being like, oh,
Speaker 1: here it is. No, it's not that.
Speaker 3: I guess we're going to cut this out, so I
Speaker 3: want I was gonna vamp, but instead we can just
Speaker 3: cut you can vamp vamp. Well, I was just gonna
Speaker 3: say things that vamp. Now this is me vamping things
Speaker 3: that I, uh memorize when I was younger, were I memorized.
Speaker 3: There was a I love it. There's a Beastie Boys
Speaker 3: song called Paul Revere where I memorized all the lyrics
Speaker 3: to that, and I would do that all the time.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I think I remember the whole thing. Now,
Speaker 3: that's what you look like, very proud of myself.
Speaker 1: Like a Beastie boy. Oh I was gonna say, wrong, hat,
Speaker 1: Yeah you do look like a beastie boy. We were
Speaker 1: talking before the show about how Brian went to go
Speaker 1: get his sunglasses and he put up the hood. He
Speaker 1: has an n F Boy Island hat that comes out
Speaker 1: October sixteenth on the c W and you just look
Speaker 1: cool and we're all like kind of intimidated by you.
Speaker 1: Today there's like a different flag.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was so in love with Tornado O'Connor in
Speaker 2: college that I memorized the Gaelic at the beginning of
Speaker 2: one of her songs. It was a poem or psalm
Speaker 2: that Enya recited, or sure to Dine gone at hue
Speaker 2: to an I'm pretture wos.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: It's not even a musical that sounds like a rageous curse.
Speaker 1: It's That's like when I memorized Dave Speak back in
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety nine. It was it was actually exactly like
Speaker 1: what you're the quotes that I was saying. It would
Speaker 1: just be dumb shit he had said in between songs,
Speaker 1: and they were like written like Dave Gospel, and it
Speaker 1: was called Dave Speak within the within the community of
Speaker 1: Dave Matthews band fans. What he said between showings was
Speaker 1: Dave's speak and I memorized one. It was like, how
Speaker 1: y'all feel in Toner? That one was a good one.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: He had another profound one that was like, smells good
Speaker 1: out there this evening, Charlotte. That was a that's a
Speaker 1: class second.
Speaker 3: I'll never forget that one. No.
Speaker 1: It was always so fun when Dave Matthews would say
Speaker 1: the name of your city and acknowledged Lenny smell a
Speaker 1: little weird. It was like, Dave smells weird, cool, he
Speaker 1: gets it. We love it. Okay, So yeah, do you
Speaker 1: find I sent you the Charlie v you? Is this
Speaker 1: a let's just Charlie's like showed up with these lyrics
Speaker 1: and they're like they're just playing the song out of nowhere.
Speaker 1: Where's my curtain?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: He wants to sing behind a curtain because he is scared,
Speaker 1: he's stage fright. He's like, I need a curtain, and
Speaker 1: he's like, where's my curtain. They're like they don't have one.
Speaker 1: They did sneaking me insand my dreams. I think I
Speaker 1: love you and but you want to cry. He made
Speaker 1: me want to die.
Speaker 4: I love you, I love you.
Speaker 1: Nightmare downs me down there.
Speaker 2: Trying to fight you.
Speaker 3: Come inside me, hold on a second. I mean, the
Speaker 3: first half of that song was kind of cool, but
Speaker 3: what's with the second half?
Speaker 1: You know, like I like what they like the first part,
Speaker 1: but it sounds like a song where a man breaks
Speaker 1: out your house in rape. Where are you getting that from?
Speaker 1: You can't believe? What are you gonna come from?
Speaker 3: It might seem wrong, good.
Speaker 1: It's just right.
Speaker 2: It's just.
Speaker 3: It's just two man like brothers, one on top of
Speaker 3: one inside.
Speaker 1: We have to keep talking over it otherwise I can't
Speaker 1: play this, So keep doing commentary.
Speaker 3: We do.
Speaker 1: Okay, then it's then so they're confused. But he's really
Speaker 1: getting into it. He is a really good singing. Come
Speaker 1: inside and pin me down with your strong hands and
Speaker 1: come depecial night man. Wait, so the rule is you
Speaker 1: can't play stuff unless you talk over it, Like, how
Speaker 1: do they count seconds? Like they've gone four seconds without talking.
Speaker 1: Let's charge that you.
Speaker 3: Have to be commenting on it, so that you're you're.
Speaker 1: Doing exactly Then how can you hear it? It's so
Speaker 1: slippery slope, Nikki.
Speaker 3: You can place seven seconds.
Speaker 1: And to the Supreme Court. I don't understand.
Speaker 3: You want to take this to Neil gorsicch.
Speaker 1: Yes, I do he's one of the justice.
Speaker 3: Do you think you can name all the justices?
Speaker 1: Quite name one you just gave me. I can't repeat
Speaker 1: the name you just said, so I know that he
Speaker 1: he's one. He's a name I've seen on crossword puzzles,
Speaker 1: and I'm always like, what's his name again? But now
Speaker 1: I'm gonna remember it because I'm gonna remember it's the
Speaker 1: same as the guy who walked on the moon.
Speaker 3: Buzz, yes, buzz Gorsic.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm gonna fill in. The next crossing bubble
Speaker 1: will be like, I don't. It's right. Everything on this
Speaker 1: puzzle is right. Sometimes so often I convinced myself that
Speaker 1: the New York Times cross reduzzle is there's an error
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, I'm right, and they've made a mistake
Speaker 1: for the first time in the history of this thing.
Speaker 1: All Right, we gotta go to break. We'll talk about
Speaker 1: something else when we get back. I think I have
Speaker 1: a plan. All right, We'll be right back. All right,
Speaker 1: So check me out on those shows that already happened,
Speaker 1: and then also watch me next week in LA where
Speaker 1: we're doing one episode next week, So just gear up
Speaker 1: for that, and also come see me on tour. I mean,
Speaker 1: where am I coming up next? Sacramento, San Francisco, San Diego, Uh,
Speaker 1: San Diego go. Okay, I see a pattern, So Orlando,
Speaker 1: we should add it.
Speaker 2: We already were there, I can.
Speaker 1: I know I'm going there to for the murder scene
Speaker 1: to see it. I'm adding it to my list. I
Speaker 1: used to be a Columbine head, but I'm now in Idaho.
Speaker 1: Murder's head.
Speaker 4: I get.
Speaker 1: I would want to drive back by where that happened.
Speaker 1: I'm a little morbidly curious.
Speaker 2: I'm sure we shall. It's probably on the route.
Speaker 1: I think it's a bad thing to do. Don't do
Speaker 1: that because let them heal. But twenty years later you're
Speaker 1: not gonna They're not even noticed. Trust me. I go
Speaker 1: to Columbine five times a year. No one cares.
Speaker 3: No one.
Speaker 1: Don't now.
Speaker 2: I like how driving by like prohibits they're healing.
Speaker 1: No, it does, because if they get lots of crowds
Speaker 1: and people taking pants and dark dances and there's.
Speaker 2: No influencers in Idaho being like.
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, they go there. People go to crime scenes
Speaker 1: because people are People are like Taylor McGrath. Taylor McGrath
Speaker 1: is like sifted through dense brush, like John Benet's old
Speaker 1: stomping grounds, like she's there now. She probably she would.
Speaker 1: She's definitely gone to John Benet's house.
Speaker 3: And I have too.
Speaker 1: I was in Boulder and went there my freshman year.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so go see me in those places. I
Speaker 1: think was the point of that. What if I did? Actually, yes,
Speaker 1: she'll be in Denver, which I call the House of
Speaker 1: John Benet. Yeah, Johnny's town.
Speaker 2: It's also were drunk today, a little.
Speaker 1: Sunglasses. It makes you feel like freer.
Speaker 3: I think, no, I cant just now because they can't
Speaker 3: see you.
Speaker 1: You're going to have time for Columbine when I go there.
Speaker 1: I might go there on New Year's Eve. That might
Speaker 1: be a thing I do, because that will have made it.
Speaker 1: I didn't go this year to Columbine, unfortunately, but I
Speaker 1: try to get there. I try to winter there winter
Speaker 1: at least once a year. I try to get.
Speaker 3: You got to do your tour, your tour of all
Speaker 3: the murder houses in America, and then it's your tour
Speaker 3: would be called now Who's Killing or something like that.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good.
Speaker 2: What about the Delphi?
Speaker 1: Delphi is gonna be hard. We got to do it
Speaker 1: on a wood bridge about a mile into a very
Speaker 1: small Indiana town. It'll be that's gonna be like there
Speaker 1: my Chappelle's shows, you know how he does them in
Speaker 1: the middle of nowhere at all. While mine's going to be.
Speaker 3: Murdered.
Speaker 1: You get the crime scene Gilgo beach. Oh yeah, that one.
Speaker 1: I'm not into that one yet. You don't like the beach, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what marsh. I'm like, God, I'd have to walk
Speaker 1: down to a beach with all that sand, which is
Speaker 1: just harder fun. All right, well, let's get to an
Speaker 1: old segment we haven't done in fucking forever fan Thrax,
Speaker 1: Thank you AVI. All right, this is where we listen
Speaker 1: to your voicemails. I actually have a couple letters too
Speaker 1: that people wrote me that I might Oh this weekend
Speaker 1: Bestie's gave me some stuff, so it's nice. I forget
Speaker 1: the one that I was going to read. It might
Speaker 1: be another room. But anyway, let's listen to the voicemails
Speaker 1: you have, Like, Okay, here's one who's actually responding to
Speaker 1: an intrusive thought episode. Oh oh plug, we're going to
Speaker 1: wonder how do I listen to that? Well, you gotta
Speaker 1: sign up for a Diamond Layer topic a little bit
Speaker 1: but okay, it's okay.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I really don't want you to die of cancer
Speaker 5: just for I'm using shitty the odor it. So here's
Speaker 5: the thing that I do because I don't I'm autistic.
Speaker 5: I don't like smells. I don't like I just want
Speaker 5: to be like as batural as possible, and I don't
Speaker 5: want anything to touch me whatever respect. I use the
Speaker 5: salt deodorant, which you were talking about. Like you sweat,
Speaker 5: doesn't smell bad, like I sweat a lot. I live
Speaker 5: in Florida, but I don't smell because I use the salt.
Speaker 2: Deodorant and the bacteria can't.
Speaker 1: Live in the salt. So you just rub a hit
Speaker 1: lot of salt on your.
Speaker 5: Armpits and then you never smell all day and it's
Speaker 5: perfectly fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, please stop using secret that says no aluminium. Maybe
Speaker 1: try salt if you want to. I'll you brand. Wait,
Speaker 1: just salt, it's got to be a brand. No, I
Speaker 1: think it's salt. But I wonder if no, she's talking
Speaker 1: about literal little salt. That's too much? How does it
Speaker 1: stay on? I guess that's a But you know what,
Speaker 1: this is a good hack if you've forgotten deodorant yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, if you forgot deodor and you're at a restaurant,
Speaker 3: you get a salt packet, you put it underneath the arms.
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering how to apply. But she's not wrong,
Speaker 1: and I like the idea. But why this is where
Speaker 1: I go? Why isn't this invented yet? If it's as
Speaker 1: simple as salt, why hasn't someone made salt deodorant? Like
Speaker 1: why is that not a thing? And I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that this doesn't work because a lot of times it's
Speaker 1: like why didn't you put wheels on luggage fifty years
Speaker 1: before you? A lot of times it's right in front
Speaker 1: of you because salt is cheap, and it doesn't like
Speaker 1: like the profit doesn't warrant making the product. I pay
Speaker 1: a dollars for someone to make salt in a way
Speaker 1: that I could rub it on my pits, you know,
Speaker 1: like I would pay for someone to figure out how
Speaker 1: to put it together.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So, but yeah, you're probably right. It's I mean, it
Speaker 1: comes down to money always, So you're right. It either
Speaker 1: doesn't work or it does and it doesn't make anyone money. Yeah,
Speaker 1: since or this, I mean, there are Well that's why
Speaker 1: I was thinking they're my be a brand, our brands.
Speaker 2: I'm looking it up. Okay, there are brands that are
Speaker 2: like this is so well known that one of the
Speaker 2: Google questions is does salt deodorant really work?
Speaker 1: Okay? See yeah, all right, well perfect, it's Morton's what
Speaker 1: kind of salt?
Speaker 3: Well, there's one called salt and stone, but this is dash.
Speaker 3: They don't have salt in it. It's it's actually like
Speaker 3: seaweed extract is their key ingredient. They have probiotics, high
Speaker 3: hyaluronic acid, which is a molecule.
Speaker 1: Really such a bummer that humans smell this back? Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: why can't this be a thing we like? It's so
Speaker 1: funny that that has not been eradicated, don't you animals?
Speaker 3: Why are predators would have eaten us in the wild
Speaker 3: because they could smell us so readily? Or is it
Speaker 3: that our stench is so horrific that like a line
Speaker 3: would be like I'm not going near that shit?
Speaker 1: Like what it could smell off predators are?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're smelling them off? Are we attracting them?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 2: It's attractive. Sometimes I feel bad to have sex the
Speaker 2: other day because matt for good is deoderant and oh
Speaker 2: prior lake.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 2: I was like, He's like, I'm worried I forgot it.
Speaker 2: Do you have any I'm like, I don't, but why
Speaker 2: don't you just borrow Nikky's. You guys have walked each
Speaker 2: other a few times.
Speaker 1: I actually forgot mine and I had to use Chris's.
Speaker 1: But we would have we would have done a threesome.
Speaker 2: But I kind of was into it that way. I
Speaker 2: was like, guys, you smell fine. I'm into this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like the way.
Speaker 2: Like then, I said, I don't want other women to
Speaker 2: smell you tonight, because what if they're attracted to this?
Speaker 2: I actually got possessive over his bio.
Speaker 1: Huh wait, other women would smell him and like must
Speaker 1: then they wouldn't be able to help themselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, whoa, that's any drop?
Speaker 1: Damn. I guess I don't think that. I think Chris
Speaker 1: smells great, but I'm like, well, I'm a different girl,
Speaker 1: so I don't care if girls want to fuck my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I hope they do so that would actually turn me
Speaker 1: on that I would be like, get out there, meet
Speaker 1: some ladies. How do they smell you? How girls want
Speaker 1: to fuck you? But no, I'm kind said, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I get what you mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a little excited that about my jealousy.
Speaker 2: I have to have it in tiny doses.
Speaker 1: Yes, I got.
Speaker 5: I made.
Speaker 1: I made Chris make out with me the other night
Speaker 1: because we were waiting for the security guard to come
Speaker 1: up to the hotel room and we were in the
Speaker 1: hallway just like waiting and it was like time to
Speaker 1: we were like ready to go and like with our bags,
Speaker 1: and he was like, so, what do you want to do?
Speaker 1: And I was just like we should just like make out,
Speaker 1: and he was like okay, and I was like, we
Speaker 1: never make it. We were laughing so hard because we
Speaker 1: stand on the first date. Yeah, no, that's what I
Speaker 1: used to say to people, to you guys. I didn't
Speaker 1: with Chris though, but it's my move. We should make out.
Speaker 1: When do we make out, just say it like casually.
Speaker 1: It really has worked before with guys, but not Chris.
Speaker 1: He made the first move, But now I'm making moves
Speaker 1: and we just like made out. But I couldn't stop laughing,
Speaker 1: and I think he was almost offended because I was
Speaker 1: laughing so hard because we never just like stand and
Speaker 1: make out like usually. There's like there's there's like things,
Speaker 1: things are intense if we're like tongues are in each
Speaker 1: other's mouth. How long did I last? Literally like a minute,
Speaker 1: a second and a half, like two seconds of just
Speaker 1: like lah lah And it was just like like fucking
Speaker 1: like And that's what That's probably why it was uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: It was making me laugh because it was like, this
Speaker 1: is the only something we do when we do that
Speaker 1: like this, can we can't do this in the hallway
Speaker 1: someone could see us.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I love that you had to do it
Speaker 2: in front of the security guard.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, he wasn't there kidding. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's insane. I would never do that to anyone. I
Speaker 1: look at how hot my relationship. It was so weird.
Speaker 1: Final thought, let's get to the last Okay, this is
Speaker 1: someone who wants some advice.
Speaker 4: Hi, Nikki, Noah, Brian and Anya love the podcast. Long
Speaker 4: time listener Nikki and Yes any Love from Canada also
Speaker 4: come to Toronto please soon.
Speaker 1: I'm coming. My question though, is Randma.
Speaker 4: I guess just for your opinion and kind of perspective,
Speaker 4: I'm twenty seven, I'm single. A lot of my friends
Speaker 4: are all kind of in relationships getting married, and I
Speaker 4: honestly haven't really been in like a serious, real relationship
Speaker 4: at this point and just sort of at a weird
Speaker 4: point where I feel like I'm not young anymore, but
Speaker 4: I'm not old yet. And I guess I'm just curious
Speaker 4: what you guys would give, like in terms of advice
Speaker 4: to yourselves when you were twenty seven and maybe weren't
Speaker 4: at the place you wanted to be in life. Yeah,
Speaker 4: what advice would you give to a twenty seven year
Speaker 4: old version of yourself about dating and just a good
Speaker 4: perspective for the future. So that was really awkward to record.
Speaker 4: Love you and please come to Canada, Please come to Toronto.
Speaker 1: I'll see you there at RAMA. I love this call.
Speaker 1: First of all, anyone would be so happy to date
Speaker 1: this person, like they you just sound like so smart
Speaker 1: and cool and like emotionalig you're thinking about this, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what a fucking winner. So the good
Speaker 1: news is like when you get into a relationship, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be great, Like you're so ready for one, and
Speaker 1: you're like so like, someone's so lucky to find you, girl.
Speaker 1: So that's the good news.
Speaker 3: The girl, the girl that you're gonna marry, is not
Speaker 3: ready for you yet. They're gonna cato or guy. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I don't think they spascified.
Speaker 3: I didn't specify. I'm sorry, apologize. This person is going
Speaker 3: to catch up to you. You're there, it sounds like
Speaker 3: you're there.
Speaker 1: That's really good, or they're just gonna find someone that's
Speaker 1: like it's just gonna make sense right away, Like I
Speaker 1: think that. I just feel I feel frustrated in many
Speaker 1: ways in my life in terms of like I'm stunted
Speaker 1: in the terms of like growth, where I would picture
Speaker 1: myself like I was just playing guitar earlier today and
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so mad I'm not further ahead
Speaker 1: at this, Like I'm so mad I'm not for their
Speaker 1: head at singing and all these things like why did
Speaker 1: I start so fucking late? But the truth is like
Speaker 1: you just start when you start. And it's like I felt.
Speaker 1: I used to feel that way about sex. I didn't
Speaker 1: have sex a twenty one that felt so late. I
Speaker 1: didn't have a boyfriend till I was twenty four. I
Speaker 1: didn't have like a real boyfriend, like real one that
Speaker 1: wasn't long distance or just totally drunk, till I was
Speaker 1: twenty eight or nine, I think nine, until I met
Speaker 1: Chris which was my first like sober, normal relationship. Guy
Speaker 1: liked me as much as I liked him, so like
Speaker 1: there is I relate to feeling like late to things,
Speaker 1: but you're you. I liked that you were aware that
Speaker 1: you aren't old because you're not. They're just twenty seven
Speaker 1: is so fucking young. You just trust me, like no
Speaker 1: one expects you to know what you're supposed to do
Speaker 1: right now, Like anyone who's older than you looks at
Speaker 1: twenty seven year old and is like, don't feel like
Speaker 1: you should have your life figured out right now, like
Speaker 1: at all. It's totally you have so much time. And
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say that if I didn't think.
Speaker 3: That when you turn thirty five, you're gonna be like,
Speaker 3: holy shit, twenty seven was so young.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thirty six is where maybe you go like okay,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm like I make some like have some reckoning
Speaker 1: with yourself of like okay, I gotta like really start
Speaker 1: the gas to the pedal. But now is like not
Speaker 1: twenty seven, and that's not safe. You're thirty six listening
Speaker 1: and being like, well, I to the sky and I'm
Speaker 1: thirty six, to look what do I do? Yeah, gas
Speaker 1: to the battle. If you want to achieve your dreams,
Speaker 1: fucking figure it out like you are getting up there,
Speaker 1: But twenty seven, keep have fun, like let yourself off
Speaker 1: the hook a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yes, in general, when I was twenty seven, I had
Speaker 3: just moved back in with my dad. I was living
Speaker 3: in my dad's house on Long Island. When I was
Speaker 3: twenty seven.
Speaker 1: Yes, and now you're married happily to the love of
Speaker 1: your life. I'm married and you're how old I'm thirty five?
Speaker 1: See you look how quickly things can turns around?
Speaker 2: Yeah like that honestly, Oh it was my so single.
Speaker 2: I moved out of my parents' house at like almost
Speaker 2: twenty six. So also, the other thing I have to
Speaker 2: tell you is right in this moment, you are exactly
Speaker 2: where you need to be. Everything you want is unfolding
Speaker 2: for you, even if it doesn't feel like it, it
Speaker 2: totally is like you are exactly where you need to
Speaker 2: be right now. If I could give myself any advice
Speaker 2: at twenty seven, it would be like wear sunscreen. Read
Speaker 2: Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit smoking.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yes, dating someone thirteen years older than you is weird.
Speaker 2: They're like a sure there is a power dynamic that
Speaker 2: is at play age is not just a number, but
Speaker 2: these are just but also like.
Speaker 1: Your fire specific things for you at that age. But no,
Speaker 1: that makes sense, like this guy should do all those things.
Speaker 1: I mean you gotta in other words, like you can
Speaker 1: be really fucking up right now and it'll be totally
Speaker 1: you can.
Speaker 3: Still course correct. But if you are thirty seven, you.
Speaker 1: Gotta make desperate, get it together desperate moves and it's
Speaker 1: really so d that's my cusic career started then, but
Speaker 1: that is true, made to move though.
Speaker 3: When you were in your late thirties, you're like, I
Speaker 3: want to be a musician. I'm starting my music career.
Speaker 3: I'm doing it. And if you're if you.
Speaker 2: When me, seven is the most exciting time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're thirty seven, I don't want to discourage.
Speaker 1: Anyone who's forty something and is like I haven't done anything,
Speaker 1: Like well, it's just it's time to do it. You're
Speaker 1: gonna die, But just like do your best, make pa
Speaker 1: what make peace with that. You're not gonna be as
Speaker 1: good as you want to be or you might not
Speaker 1: have the best relationship, like, but you're gonna have something
Speaker 1: like have you deserve a relationship you don't get to
Speaker 1: opt out of these things that everyone else does where
Speaker 1: you're like, I'm different, I'm gonna be alone forever. Okay,
Speaker 1: well maybe that's the case because of just circumstances. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that the caller talked like this. There
Speaker 1: are people in my life that I've had heard talk
Speaker 1: like this where it's just like I'm not gonna have this.
Speaker 1: I don't get to go on dates. I'm not the
Speaker 1: type of person that will do this kind of thing.
Speaker 1: And I sit here it on Reddit a lot and
Speaker 1: just people in depressive episodes, And I've talked like this
Speaker 1: before about like just absolutes about stuff, and the truth
Speaker 1: is like you're not special enough to like not do
Speaker 1: those things, like I'm never gonna be able to get
Speaker 1: on an airplane, like some people have fears like that,
Speaker 1: Like it's you. If people do this all the time,
Speaker 1: you can do it too. It's not that hard. You
Speaker 1: can't making it so hard in your head that that's
Speaker 1: gonna be your future. Like maybe that's you right now,
Speaker 1: Like it could change. I used to be terrify of
Speaker 1: sex and thinking I will never be able to have it.
Speaker 1: It is too weird. I cannot imagine ever having sex
Speaker 1: I was terrified of the idea of it late till
Speaker 1: late in life. Then I was like drinking. I was
Speaker 1: scared of intimacy. I was like, I can't. I used
Speaker 1: to tell my friends I cant fissure myself making out
Speaker 1: with someone. In high school, I was like, I'm never
Speaker 1: gonna kis someone because I cannot picture it. It's just
Speaker 1: not something I do. I'm like different, like it's easy
Speaker 1: for you guys. I am there's no part of me
Speaker 1: that wants still put on someone. And I would freak
Speaker 1: out about it. I'd be like, it's just not for
Speaker 1: you know, and then almost you like put yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: hell yeah. Now I literally only do it when I'm
Speaker 1: being penetrated, as we just learned, so I can only
Speaker 1: let it in in some ways. But I just I
Speaker 1: always used to like pride myself on like or I
Speaker 1: would have to convince myself I was different, like I
Speaker 1: have this phobia, I have this weirdness, so that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't do the things I was scared to do. So
Speaker 1: I venture to think that this person is a little
Speaker 1: scared of a relationship, and that's okay because they are
Speaker 1: scary and like you might really want one. But there's
Speaker 1: a part of you that might also be very scared
Speaker 1: because it seems so great. It shouldn't seem that you're not.
Speaker 1: You could be in a relationship if you wanted to be. So,
Speaker 1: I would say push yourself to get on apps and
Speaker 1: go on dates and do things that you're terrified of
Speaker 1: doing and thinking like I can't do that. I have
Speaker 1: you know, social anxiety or whatever it is, Like, don't
Speaker 1: make excuses. Just do the things other people do when
Speaker 1: they want update and if you want to find someone,
Speaker 1: you gotta get You got to get on the apps,
Speaker 1: I would think, is to talk to people in public,
Speaker 1: which I don't think you're going to do anytime soon.
Speaker 1: So go in the apps. You're not different. Not that
Speaker 1: this person said that they don't want to do that stuff.
Speaker 2: He's comparing himself with his peers and he's like everybody
Speaker 2: is in a relationship and I'm not what what's wrong
Speaker 2: with him?
Speaker 5: The fu?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you haven't found anyone good enough yet. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: that's kind of how I felt about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I like my inter view is more lais fair.
Speaker 2: It's like you're doing nothing wrong. Everything will transpire, you
Speaker 2: know what, make a list make a list of how
Speaker 2: you want to feel in a relationship. What is that
Speaker 2: person like, how do they make you feel?
Speaker 1: Flation things?
Speaker 3: Wrote when I was going on my year of dating,
Speaker 3: I wrote down a list of everything I would want
Speaker 3: in a girl, and I and then I got it.
Speaker 1: Then you were on Jimmy Fallon on Friday.
Speaker 3: Exactly, so it got the wires got crossed. And now
Speaker 3: Nicky's got a girl who's got all those things, and
Speaker 3: I'm on Jimmy Fallon.
Speaker 1: No, but I know that's so true.
Speaker 3: I put it all down and I and all those
Speaker 3: things came true. All those things came true. I love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember other things.
Speaker 2: What happens is you start acting like the person you
Speaker 2: want to be and you didn't even realize it. Like
Speaker 2: I was like twenty seven and I was dating somebody.
Speaker 2: He was much older than me. I was like, why
Speaker 2: am I not actualized in my career? Like I'm just
Speaker 2: like his girlfriend. I'm his everyone refers to me as
Speaker 2: like his girlfriend. I'm not my own person. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: then I started being like, I want to play music.
Speaker 2: He's a musician. Oh, I didn't know I wanted to
Speaker 2: play music. So I started writing songs. I started getting
Speaker 2: open mics, I started developing that like just think about
Speaker 2: how you want to feel and what you want, how
Speaker 2: you see your life.
Speaker 1: Yes, and force yourself to do things that are uncomfortable
Speaker 1: and because if you I I want to if you
Speaker 1: want a relationship, which I used to want one to
Speaker 1: and couldn't get one, it was so like woe is me?
Speaker 1: Like what's wrong with me? No one likes me? Like
Speaker 1: there were moments where I would think, like maybe I'm broke,
Speaker 1: Like maybe I'm not a catch, but I guarantee you
Speaker 1: to the caller, You're a fucking catch because you sound
Speaker 1: like amazing, Like we all just fell in love with you,
Speaker 1: and so the only reason you don't have someone is
Speaker 1: because you're not trying, Like it's you're in your own way,
Speaker 1: because there's no reason you shouldn't because you're you seem
Speaker 1: amazing like that. So when I finally realized that about myself,
Speaker 1: like I'm in my own way, like I if I
Speaker 1: it's not that hard to get a boyfriend. My old
Speaker 1: story was like I can't get a boyfriend because I'm
Speaker 1: choosy and because I'm waiting for someone who like deserves me.
Speaker 1: That's fine, and that's Okay, but that's that's what was happening.
Speaker 1: It wasn't that I was like broken in some way.
Speaker 1: I just had I wasn't. I wasn't willing to do
Speaker 1: the things I was scared to do unless it was
Speaker 1: like really worth it. And I was just like my journey.
Speaker 1: But some people just date a lot, and.
Speaker 2: That's cool too, Like we want to know what happens.
Speaker 3: When I want to know what happened when I was
Speaker 3: single and sad and lonely. One piece of advice that
Speaker 3: I forgot who told me it was like a therapist
Speaker 3: or a friend or something, but they said, most people
Speaker 3: that have a nicky quote this quote. She's yeah, she's
Speaker 3: most people.
Speaker 1: You're right. It was a cogent piece of information, so
Speaker 1: it definitely wasn't a nick quote.
Speaker 3: Well the advice. The advice was sometimes people go to cars.
Speaker 3: And I was like what And that was the advice.
Speaker 3: So someone told me that and I was like, okay, yeah, no,
Speaker 3: but someone told me that the vast majority people in
Speaker 3: modern human existence have gotten married. So what makes you
Speaker 3: think that you're so special that you're going to be
Speaker 3: the not thees?
Speaker 1: Yes, what makes you think you're so special that you're
Speaker 1: going to die in a plane crash, like like what,
Speaker 1: I'm serious? Like, why do you think you are so
Speaker 1: like unique that it's gonna happen a year?
Speaker 3: It's but this is something that happens to most people.
Speaker 1: You flip it. Yes, that's true. Okay, it's opposite, yea,
Speaker 1: most people. We got to go. I have to go
Speaker 1: get on a plane. Actually, so I can make that
Speaker 1: joke because I'm about to die on a plane crash.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be crazy? And it happened, this would be
Speaker 1: the most watched video of all time. And you're welcome,
Speaker 1: my heart that I died in that playing crash saying
Speaker 1: that I predicted it. Oh my god, I don't like it,
Speaker 1: but if it did, it would be wild.
Speaker 3: Tune into fallon f Boy Island coming on October sixteenth.
Speaker 1: I didn't make it to any of my opinions, that
Speaker 1: would be fun, but do watch f Way Island. It's
Speaker 1: my it's my what's it called my song? My tall
Speaker 1: song song? No? Actually, my swan song is going to
Speaker 1: be like I See your Voice like a TV show
Speaker 1: that I did, like I tased like two years ago
Speaker 1: that they're just sitting on that's gonna be the last thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: well it was a great career. Thank you guys so
Speaker 1: much for listening. I'm total king. I'm I'm not going
Speaker 1: to die in a plane crash, but i will say
Speaker 1: I'm working on a joke about one where I say
Speaker 1: that I just every time there is like turbulence and
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna die, I'm just like, oh, I
Speaker 1: got a long one to like the Bungo Wi Fi.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like I gotta say my goodbyes. Like
Speaker 1: I start thinking about, like what's my old password? Then
Speaker 1: I got to like reset it, so like there is
Speaker 1: I already start thinking like clerically about saying my goodbyes,
Speaker 1: and I'm like this is so annoying. I have to
Speaker 1: die right now. So anyway, that's my joke. Have a
Speaker 1: good weekend and fly safe in Sacramento. Uh, don't be
Speaker 1: good and make light of things are terrified of.