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Speaker 1: Hello, Yeah, you hear me, GK.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your name?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 2: Uh call me Steve, Steve, Steve. I'm cool with Steve

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Speaker 2: today too. I think it's a good name. Can I

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Speaker 2: can I tell the people what it is that you

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Speaker 2: texted me? Is that all right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? That's cool. Now we'll give a good start off.

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Speaker 2: You said, Hey, Gek, I want to chat with you

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Speaker 2: about growing up in ultra orthodox Judaism and now I

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Speaker 2: have landed somewhere in between an absurdist and a nihilist.

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Speaker 2: I left the fold years ago, managed to make a

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Speaker 2: life for myself on the other side. I'll be scary.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to hit you up about this because well,

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Speaker 2: a few things is uh, you know, I grew up

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Speaker 2: in somewhere let's call it reform Judaism, but I was

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Speaker 2: around a lot of like Orthodox Judaism. And then also

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Speaker 2: now i'm you know, living in New York, I'm around

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Speaker 2: I see a lot of Orthodox Judaism, and I find it.

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Speaker 2: I find it fascinating because it, yeah, it's always like

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Speaker 2: it seems to be like intentionally isolated from like the

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Speaker 2: rest of the world. So I'm curious, like how your

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Speaker 2: experience growing up in that has been.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I actually did grow up in New York City.

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Speaker 1: I grew up in a small six I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to be specific there, but yeah, I grew up Altra

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Speaker 1: orthodox Kee nicola Asidic if you want, raised in the

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Speaker 1: hole full. My whole life went through the system. They

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Speaker 1: call it Yeshiva. It's like their type of school system. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got my rabinical ordination once I was done the

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Speaker 1: Yeshiva system, then I guess more to answer your question,

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Speaker 1: it is very closed off, like it pretty insulated. But

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Speaker 1: the SEC I grew up in is has more outreach,

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Speaker 1: so like there's stopmer in like Williamsburg. Like the guys

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Speaker 1: were the furry hats. They're the ones who are like

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Speaker 1: cut off the outside wall. They can't have cell phone.

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Speaker 1: They have like they kind of accident internet. They they

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Speaker 1: are very strict. The one I was involved in is

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Speaker 1: a little bit more relaxed, so I had a little

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Speaker 1: bit more of like experiencing outside world. So I was

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Speaker 1: able to collect you to get people on the other

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Speaker 1: side even while I was in the SEC. M hm.

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Speaker 2: So you weren't necessarily a Hasidic, uh.

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Speaker 1: They call it acidic, but like if you asked like

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Speaker 1: a real like Hasidic sect. If they consider that asidic,

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Speaker 1: they'll say, no, it's going to real people or something

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Speaker 1: like that. So it's debatable.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, was it like serious enough that when you

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Speaker 2: left your family was unsupportive to the degree with I

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Speaker 2: stopped talking to you?

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Speaker 1: Uh? Ish uh. There's other reasons why. So I still

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Speaker 1: talk to my family, like I spent Thanksgiving with them.

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Speaker 1: Most of them are still religious. I don't really talk

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Speaker 1: to my parents that much, and then I much to

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Speaker 1: say to them, it's just unfortunate. But you know, like

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Speaker 1: ex communicayy, they every time they talk to me, they

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Speaker 1: try to bring me back, like that's the thing, Like

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Speaker 1: they think I'm a lost person and I just try

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Speaker 1: to like guide me back to the right path. And

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Speaker 1: I just got sick of it, and I'm like, this

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Speaker 1: is not I'm not living a lifestyle. So it just

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Speaker 1: got really frustrating. I just gave up on that and

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Speaker 1: I just started, you know, just keeping myself more in

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Speaker 1: touch with my siblings. And then yeah, once in a while,

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Speaker 1: I see my parents maybe once or twice a year. Uh.

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Speaker 2: Oh do you see your parents once I see year?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't go to visit them like I'll go

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Speaker 1: in for like Honaker or Thanksgiving or something, and they'll

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Speaker 1: be there, and I'll try to like avoid my dad

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to talk to him to say

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Speaker 1: me or whatever. But yeah, it's very anxious for me

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Speaker 1: when I do that, Like I still like mentally prepare

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Speaker 1: myself before and after that happens. Like, it's just a

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Speaker 1: lot for me.

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Speaker 2: What what's the deal with your Uh, you had a

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Speaker 2: brother or sister.

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Speaker 1: I got a bunch of siblings. Most of them are

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Speaker 1: married with kids, so I have a lot of nieces

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Speaker 1: and nephews. I would say most of them are like

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Speaker 1: more modern orphodox, so they're not like old Shore Orthodox.

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Speaker 1: They're kind of like chill about it. So I can

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Speaker 1: more communicate with them than it's like my parents are

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Speaker 1: still stuck in the same you know, ideas they brought

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Speaker 1: us up with. Hm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Are you are you married? Do you have kids?

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Speaker 1: No? I am not married. I don't have kids, are you?

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Speaker 2: The only one of the clients say again.

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Speaker 1: Not that I know, I could have kids?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, all right, all right, you might have a

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Speaker 2: what is it called, I guess a bastard child?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, is the Yiddish word momser mom's area.

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Speaker 2: Mom A, I've heard that word before.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's been out there.

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Speaker 2: Uh do you speak Yiddish?

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Speaker 1: I do not fluently. Uh. So basically like growing up

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Speaker 1: in like Yeshiva, they want to like teach you Yiddish.

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Speaker 1: They would expect that you already spoke it at home

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Speaker 1: so you understand it. So then they would like teach

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Speaker 1: you in school you like read the Bible and Hebrew

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Speaker 1: and then you yell out to get this translation over

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Speaker 1: and over. It was like cult like you like you

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Speaker 1: don't even know what you're saying. But yeah, I did

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Speaker 1: speak Yiddish like growing up. I can understand it, like

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Speaker 1: even German, like I could understand like high German. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of weird. But when I try to talk German,

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Speaker 1: like the vocablary and grammars like totally off.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, did you do you also do like regular

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Speaker 2: Jews stuff like, uh, there's I'm for for those who

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Speaker 2: are not Jewish, there's a well, there's there's Jewish summer camp,

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Speaker 2: although I guess religious summer camp is a general thing.

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Speaker 2: And then for me, there was this thing called bb YO,

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Speaker 2: which was like a youth Jewish youth organization type of thing. Uh,

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Speaker 2: did you do any of that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 1: No, we wouldn't like really mingle with like the other

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Speaker 1: Jewish organizations. Like we had our own like summer camps,

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Speaker 1: like all Boys summer camps, and those are like pretty

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Speaker 1: fucked up places.

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Speaker 2: Interesting if you ask me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of shit went down there, and then

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Speaker 1: like that's where they say they don't vet their staff

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Speaker 1: very well, and there are incidents where these like pedophiles

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Speaker 1: and ship like oh Jesus roaming free over there. It's

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Speaker 1: it's horrible. Yeah, I've had experiences there a lot of

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Speaker 1: people I know how it's yeah, was it? What?

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Speaker 2: Did you have any? Do you have any? Do you

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Speaker 2: have any positive experiences there?

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Speaker 1: Not that I know? No, I hated it.

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Speaker 3: M m hmm.

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Speaker 2: It's so it's so interesting how like a different the

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Speaker 2: experience of like Orthodox Judaism and Reform Judaism is because

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Speaker 2: we're both Jews, but it's like it's a different fucking

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Speaker 2: world by like a billion degrees.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. A lot of my friends now are

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Speaker 1: like just like reform or non Jews or whatever, and

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Speaker 1: they don't like I've been out of it so long,

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Speaker 1: Like they don't believe me if I tell them like

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Speaker 1: I grew up like a ultra orthodox or Ascidic in

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Speaker 1: some small sect in New York City and yeah, and

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh, it's crazy. I've heard about it, and like,

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Speaker 1: I you know whatever, but like you don't seem like

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Speaker 1: you're from there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your life like?

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Speaker 1: Now? Are you?

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Speaker 2: Do you have any of it in you? Or are

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Speaker 2: you completely atheist? Agnostic?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, magnostic nihilists. I would mostly categorize myself as an absurdist,

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Speaker 1: you know, like Albercamo, the myth of Sistypus. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: that really Like I went through some rough times and

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Speaker 1: then I was like a philosophy major in my undergrad

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Speaker 1: and I was like reading that shit and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: first had an exidential crisis, and I was like, what

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Speaker 1: the fuck does everything mean? Like everything to do? So

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to heaven when I die or whatever

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Speaker 1: and all the all the things I've done that doesn't

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Speaker 1: count up. Maybe I'm not gonna go to heaven. But

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Speaker 1: like I got after a couple of years of therapy whatever,

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Speaker 1: and I calmed down about it and I started like

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Speaker 1: looking into like I'm served as I'm like, hey, this

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Speaker 1: shit's awesome, Like I can live by this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a crazy exce. Okay, So when how

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Speaker 2: old were you when you realized that there was no heaven?

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Speaker 1: I would say my mid twenties, somewhere in college when

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Speaker 1: I was like just studying philosophy and like my whole

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Speaker 1: world just came crashing down. I was literally walking around

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Speaker 1: like a dark cloud loving over my head. I was

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Speaker 1: super depressed. Not I was not in a good place

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Speaker 1: for years. But thank god I can ount on the

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Speaker 1: either side, I want to think, just thankfully, Well I do.

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Speaker 2: I believe, I.

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Speaker 1: Don't.

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Speaker 2: I've talked about this a bunch of fucking times, but like, uh,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I look at God as just like

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Speaker 2: uh an allegory to mean that which is uh been

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Speaker 2: beyond you or unknown to you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like God?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like if I, if I pray, like if

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Speaker 2: I because here's the thing, like I'm listen like tomorrow

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Speaker 2: or that today, a lot of people are gonna have

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Speaker 2: random brain aneurysms and die and there's no real reason

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Speaker 2: why it's gonna happen to them and not me, uh

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Speaker 2: or or it might happen to me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: But when I guess when I'm praying to God, I'm

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess it's just hope. It's just

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Speaker 2: just like I hope that that I hope that these

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Speaker 2: things that are out of my control. I don't think

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Speaker 2: the prayers like go anywhere, but I guess it feels

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Speaker 2: nice or something, or like when you say, like, I

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Speaker 2: don't like, I don't know if I don't really like

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Speaker 2: I don't pray for myself, but like or I guess

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Speaker 2: sometimes I do. Yeah, But like if I pray to like,

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Speaker 2: if I pray to you, it's like, hey, man, I

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Speaker 2: hope that you don't get hit by a car that

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Speaker 2: I have no control over it. I don't think the

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Speaker 2: pray is going anywhere, but I'm expressing to you that

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Speaker 2: I hope you don't get hit by a car. Uh

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Speaker 2: and and that all of the things outside of your

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Speaker 2: control go well, and not necessarily that I am sending

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Speaker 2: an energy to a omnipotent force that is in control

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Speaker 2: of those things. I don't believe in that, but yeah.

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Speaker 1: You know, yeah, now I'm on the same level. I

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Speaker 1: believe the universe is indifferent to us. It's just chaos,

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Speaker 1: and you know, we're just living here and most things

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Speaker 1: are just out of our control and man as well

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Speaker 1: just enjoy the ride.

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Speaker 2: But it's funny because yeah, I look at it like

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Speaker 2: Orthodox studiaism, I guess, just all religions and all things

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Speaker 2: where it's like why are why are we doing this?

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Speaker 2: Like the certain religion, like the certain traditions and whatnot.

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Speaker 2: Like if you like, I don't know, were you like,

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Speaker 2: were you ever in Hebrew School and you're like why

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Speaker 2: do we There's a thing about this. It's the fucking dude,

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Speaker 2: you know the Four Questions?

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Speaker 1: Oh on Passover?

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, okay, So I'm gonna try to explain this

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Speaker 2: and maybe you can help me fill in the gaps.

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Speaker 2: But like Passover is a Jewish holiday where I believe

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Speaker 2: it is commemorates a time where like the Jews were

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Speaker 2: slaves and God freed them and like sent a bunch

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Speaker 2: of plagues down to their like captors and whatnot. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we're slaves in Egypt, and like there there's a part

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Speaker 2: of so we have a sayer which is like this

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Speaker 2: fucking a dinner. Yeah, there's a dinner that kind of

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Speaker 2: commemorates that. And there's a part of the sator called

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Speaker 2: the Four Questions where you you reenact to this thing

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Speaker 2: of these like four children who are asking why do

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Speaker 2: we do this stuff?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And and the first three there's okay, wait, okay, there's

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Speaker 2: a there's a.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, two separate things. There's the four questions, and there's

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Speaker 1: the four children. Two separate things.

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Speaker 2: Okay, who are the four children? There's four different children.

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Speaker 1: I know what I'm saying in Hebrew. So there's a

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Speaker 1: smart one. There's the smart one who knows everything. There's

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Speaker 1: a bad one who knows everything but goes against it.

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Speaker 1: There's a tom I'm not say in English, but they

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Speaker 1: got with the humor names. And then there's two like

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Speaker 1: one who doesn't know what's going on. He's just like

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Speaker 1: minded there somehow, and then one of them I forgot

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Speaker 1: what the middle third one is he also doesn't know

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Speaker 1: what it's just going on. But yeah, it's basically supposed

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Speaker 1: to be like I don't know, some type of metaphor

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Speaker 1: for life.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, but.

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Speaker 2: There's okay, so there's what there's a smart child, the

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Speaker 2: dumb child or whatever child, the wicked child. Okay, this

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Speaker 2: is what's always gotten. I'm sure I've said this on

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Speaker 2: this stupid podcast. I've said this before, but this has

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Speaker 2: always gotten to me, is okay. The wicked child asks

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Speaker 2: the question that essentially goes, yo, why do we like

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Speaker 2: do all this stuff? Like what's the point?

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Speaker 1: You know? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And do you know what The answer to the wicked

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Speaker 2: child's question is that slipped my mind if the wicked child.

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Speaker 2: The wicked child asks, so, wait, why do we do

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Speaker 2: all this stuff? And the answer the wicked child's question

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Speaker 2: is how dare you question this? If you were an

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Speaker 2: egypt you would not have been saved? Do you remember that?

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Speaker 2: I'm not crazy? Right, that's the answer to that. Hold on,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm hold on, Jamie looked this up. I'm Jamie,

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Speaker 2: I'm looking it up. The wicked child passover. Yeah, the

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Speaker 2: wicked child is like, uh, why do you Oh? Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 2: The wicked child says, why do you guys do this?

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Speaker 2: And by saying you guys, he's signaling his own alienation

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Speaker 2: from like, hey, why are you guys doing this stuff?

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Speaker 2: As like he's signaling that he's not part of it.

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Speaker 2: And then the answer in the book is because he

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Speaker 2: has excluded himself from the community he is, he has

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Speaker 2: committed heresy. Therefore, the Lord would not have saved him.

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Speaker 2: See that ship. I just that's I don't know, that's

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of you know what is I was,

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Speaker 2: I'm in Brazil right now, and I was looking at

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Speaker 2: the thing, the big statue with Jesus, and I was

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Speaker 2: thinking about Jesus, and I was thinking about religion, and

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Speaker 2: is a lot like Jesus said a lot of stuff

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Speaker 2: that made sense. He was like, you know what, I

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Speaker 2: love your neighbor, all that other stuff, and then I'm whatever,

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Speaker 2: I'm sure Moses did a bunch of stuff. To all

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Speaker 2: the religion, they're like nice things about them, but then

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Speaker 2: they're all like, it's so weird because like at the

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Speaker 2: core of a lot of them is like these nice

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Speaker 2: things and then there's all these like traditions and fear

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Speaker 2: and whatever that surrounds them. Yeah dogma. Yeah, it's a good,

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Speaker 2: good way to put it, that surrounds them. And that's

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Speaker 2: such a bummer to me. Could you imagine if it

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Speaker 2: had gone differently, if it was like we had all

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Speaker 2: the nice parts of religion without the dogma.

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Speaker 1: I mean, in my opinion, it's like a lot of

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Speaker 1: people how they interpret it. Yeah, I don't know much

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Speaker 1: about Christianity or Jesus, but like in Judaism, most of

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Speaker 1: the stuff we follow just as like some dude's interpretation

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Speaker 1: of what the Bible said and they argue about it.

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Speaker 1: It's something called atama and they argue about what it means,

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Speaker 1: and whoever won that argument, that's how we have to

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Speaker 1: live by. So it's like very like I don't know

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Speaker 1: what's the word, not patriarch but very dogmatic. But there's

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Speaker 1: like another word like what I say is the thing

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Speaker 1: they have to follow or something Yeah I read it, well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's you know, it's it's funny because that feels

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Speaker 2: to me like it feels like you can either like

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Speaker 2: your parents for example, or or whoever is like you know,

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Speaker 2: deeply ingrained in like a fundamentalist and interpretation of their

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Speaker 2: religion is like there's a deep there's a deep comfort

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Speaker 2: in that. But if you want to start asking yourself questions,

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Speaker 2: you'll have an insane existential crisis. Oh yeah, and it'll

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Speaker 2: take you to a place that's not it's they it'll

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Speaker 2: take you to place it's just nowhere that's just terrifying.

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Speaker 2: But you will pay but you but I think I

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Speaker 2: don't know it's by the way, neither of those journeys

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Speaker 2: is the correct one. You still you know, die, But

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Speaker 2: I think if you're alive, it's but you I I

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Speaker 2: I'm a fan. I think taking the journey is good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to recommend it for everyone, like a

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Speaker 1: lot of times, and I'm just thinking about it. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if I just stayed in the fold and never left

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Speaker 1: and just live an ignorant, I might have been happier,

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Speaker 1: you know, get get like matched up with a girl

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Speaker 1: and have kids and just live a life and ignorance

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Speaker 1: and don't know better. Yeah, coming out, But you know.

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Speaker 2: What, here the the thing about like that arranged marriage

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Speaker 2: stuff too. Maybe not the arranged marriage is a heavy

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Speaker 2: thing for it. But like I had this thought the

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Speaker 2: other I think nihilism is like a it's like a

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Speaker 2: scale issue, you know, like yeah, of course you don't,

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Speaker 2: like all the time the album walking around like I'm

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Speaker 2: in Brazil, there's an eighty billion people, and I'm like

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, I like, there's like I don't matter,

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Speaker 2: you know, but you don't. But that's you don't have

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Speaker 2: to matter, but you don't, but you don't. But it's

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Speaker 2: a scale issue because you don't have to matter to

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Speaker 2: the whole universe. You just have to matter in order

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Speaker 2: to not go down like a crazy existential nihilistic path.

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Speaker 2: You just have to matter to like something or someone

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Speaker 2: outside of yourself.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: That's where that's where I think I've gotten it. My

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Speaker 2: nihilism's got out of controls because it's just a scale issue.

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Speaker 2: It's like you want, you want to feel like you

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Speaker 2: matter on a grand scale of things. But that's that's insane.

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Speaker 2: You know, nobody. You could be the most in you

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Speaker 2: could be the most talked about person ever, and you

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Speaker 2: don't matter on a scale issue. Yeah, but if you

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Speaker 2: just made whatever, if you just have like a friend

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Speaker 2: who want who likes that you're not dead, or if

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Speaker 2: you deliver mail and you got to deliver the mail

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Speaker 2: to that one guy, like you know, just just scale it,

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Speaker 2: scale it down until you matter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Now I'm with you on that, But I mean

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Speaker 1: I haven't had that feeling. Like you said, you're in

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Speaker 1: Brazil eighty other people like I used to travel a lot,

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Speaker 1: or go to Japan Tokyo on a whim and just

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Speaker 1: go there alone for a couple of days, and I

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Speaker 1: would just love getting lost there, not mattering at all,

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Speaker 1: not understanding the language, just being a spec and just

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Speaker 1: walking down the street. And I don't know, I just

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Speaker 1: found a lot of comfort in that. At the time,

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Speaker 1: I can't really do that anymore because they have a

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Speaker 1: job responsibility. But back when I was in college and

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Speaker 1: I just really enjoy doing that. But yeah, I do

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Speaker 1: like if I matter to someone, Like sometimes I wonder,

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Speaker 1: like what if I did die in my apartment I

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Speaker 1: live alone, Like the name will have to complain until

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Speaker 1: like start smelling outside or something like. I think my

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Speaker 1: biggest fear like I was just choking to people or

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Speaker 1: something and no one could find me until my body's

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Speaker 1: decaying or some ship.

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Speaker 2: Yep, No, I have I have that. I have that thing.

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Speaker 2: I have that same thought where yeah, there's a lot

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Speaker 2: I've had that same thought in my in my living alone.

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Speaker 2: That's a classic living alone thing where I'm like, ship,

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Speaker 2: it would take a long time for someone to find

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Speaker 2: out if I died.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, people will listen to your podcast. It's like, hey, kid,

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Speaker 1: me come up with a podcast a long time, what's

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Speaker 1: up with him? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I guess that I could be the case. Yeah, that

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Speaker 2: could be. That could be the case. Do you have

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Speaker 2: a girl? Do you have a girlfriend or anything like that?

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Speaker 1: No, don't have a girlfriend, never really been in a

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Speaker 1: serious relationship, Like I've only had like flings out lasted

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Speaker 1: for a couple of months. Mostly when I was younger,

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Speaker 1: I was just unstable, Like I couldn't commit to anybody,

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Speaker 1: Like it was just tough. I was trying to find myself.

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Speaker 1: And now that I'm older, you know, it's looking back.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I'm trying to find someone to, you know,

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Speaker 1: spend the rest of my life with. But it's tough

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Speaker 1: when you get older too.

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Speaker 2: How can I ask how old you are?

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Speaker 1: Late thirties?

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Speaker 2: Well, and why is why has it been getting getting

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Speaker 2: tougher for you? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I used to rely on like dating apps a lot,

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Speaker 1: and when I was like living in New York, like

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Speaker 1: I would get like four or five days tonight, Like

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Speaker 1: if I wanted to go on four or five days tonight,

397
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Speaker 1: I would just go on four five days tonight. Like

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Speaker 1: sometimes I'd go on a date and I forget the

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Speaker 1: girl's name. I'll call her the girl I'll see earlier

400
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Speaker 1: that night. I called her by her name, and they'll

401
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Speaker 1: be like, what the fuck. But now it's like I'm

402
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Speaker 1: in a much smaller city, and like I guess I

403
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Speaker 1: guess give. I gave up on dating apps a couple

404
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Speaker 1: of months ago. It's just dead, Like I have not

405
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Speaker 1: gotten any matches or anyone who actually wanted to like

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Speaker 1: meet up. I have some conversations and I will just

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Speaker 1: spade away. So yeah, I'm trying on the message. I'm

408
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Speaker 1: trying to get more out there, meet people in person.

409
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Speaker 1: Thinks like that. But it's tough. You know, I'm getting old,

410
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Speaker 1: and you know it's not like when you're in your twenties,

411
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Speaker 1: and you know it's easy to make friends. But it's

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Speaker 1: not difficult, very difficult. I would say, in the city

413
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Speaker 1: I live in now, but the city I lived in

414
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Speaker 1: before was really hard. I was like boss level making friends.

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Speaker 2: Why wait, okay, so the city live in now is

416
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Speaker 2: easier than the city lived in before? Oh yeah, why

417
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Speaker 2: what was Where did you live before?

418
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Speaker 1: I don't want to say the city because I know

419
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Speaker 1: people are gonna listen to this and know who I am.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to get ducked. Oh city in the

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Speaker 1: Upper Midwest. Just say it's very cold there. It's just

422
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Speaker 1: notoriously cold, and it's just people don't leave their house

423
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Speaker 1: like six months out of the year. Sometimes can't really

424
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Speaker 1: meet people. If you don't have your friends or like

425
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Speaker 1: a girlfriend or a pet, you're gonna like spend like

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Speaker 1: most of the winter alone.

427
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Speaker 2: Why what's your life like now? Now?

428
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Speaker 1: I'm chilling. I just moved to Colorado a couple of

429
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Speaker 1: months ago. You know, I'm really out, really into like

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Speaker 1: outdoorsy stuff, hiking, camping, skiing, mountain biking, things like that. Yeah,

431
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Speaker 1: I just find friends that way. I meet up with

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Speaker 1: some branded people on the trail sometimes and exchange numbers.

433
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: We had Nami Tuk group, and I, you know, start

434
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: showing up to their rides or their hikes or their

435
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 1: camping trips. So, yeah, it's only been a couple of

436
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 1: months here and so far, so good.

437
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 2: Pretty good, pretty good. M Do you still talk to

438
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 2: a lot of the friends that you had growing up?

439
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 1: I actually just met one a couple of weeks ago.

440
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 1: I haven't seen the guy in like ten years, and

441
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,479
Speaker 1: we were just catching up. Turns out like he's not

442
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 1: that religious either, and we're just catching up and like

443
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: we're like where the rest of the guys I grew

444
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: up with, Like where are they all now? And it

445
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: came to that they're all married with kids, and you know,

446
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,439
Speaker 1: we living their life and I had nothing to do

447
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: with that, now, did he? So I don't really talk

448
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:09,120
Speaker 1: to them anymore, Like if they see me on the street,

449
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 1: they won't recognize me. Like I don't look to say.

450
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 2: Hmm, you know, I know that you kind of first

451
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 2: initially wanted to talk about like the way you grew up,

452
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 2: and I guess I want to get back to that

453
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 2: for a second, where there are like other aspects of

454
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 2: the way that you grew up that you feel like

455
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 2: affected the way you exist now in your late thirties.

456
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, every aspect of it. Like it took me,

457
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, it took me like ten years

458
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: to like find myself and like be happy with who

459
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 1: I am. You know, it's really tough. They they ingrain

460
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: you pretty good, you know, off the get go, like

461
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 1: you're in their school system, and then you kind of

462
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: like stuck in that loop unless you break out of

463
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 1: it somehow. And yeah, it's like cult like shit, like

464
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: everything they tell you about, like there's an organizations that

465
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 1: help people get out of it. I only found out

466
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 1: about that like after I was already transitioned into like

467
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 1: absurdist or non religious, but actually volunteer for them sometimes

468
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: try to help people out as well. Really, yeah, it's tough.

469
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, what does that tell you about that? What does

470
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:23,959
Speaker 2: that look like?

471
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: Uh So, I mean when you go and when you

472
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 1: grow up in like an alt Orthodox or a Sitic sect,

473
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,959
Speaker 1: like you're not going to college, you're not learning English

474
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 1: and you're learning math, you'n't learning anything. If you're lucky

475
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,399
Speaker 1: to have some bullshit program for an hour a day

476
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: or have a tutor, they'll teach you some of that.

477
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 1: But I had to get a ged I told myself

478
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: through college. I had to go to grad school, payment out,

479
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: like I'm still paying off student death and all that.

480
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: And a lot of people just don't know who come

481
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: out of the sect and like they don't know where

482
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,080
Speaker 1: to go, they don't have a degree, that nothing. I

483
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 1: can't even write their name in English. Some of them,

484
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 1: like it's tough. So I just try to help Malcolm guidance.

485
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: I work in IT, so tell him to send people

486
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,959
Speaker 1: who are trying to like get into the IT like

487
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 1: world like software engineering and things like that. I try

488
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 1: to guide them and you know, put them on the

489
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:16,880
Speaker 1: right path.

490
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 2: What would you say, is the like number one problem

491
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 2: that those people who are trying to re enter the

492
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 2: real world.

493
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 3: Face cultural differences.

494
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 1: I mean there's a few depends how deep you are

495
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,159
Speaker 1: in there. If you grew up in like a really

496
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 1: really strict sect, Like you could have been married when

497
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 1: you're sixteen and your wife was sixteen. You have kids

498
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 1: and you're like twenty five. The guy spoke to a

499
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: guy once. He's you know, right now, he's an atheist,

500
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 1: but he still lives in the community. He has like

501
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: five kids who go to Yeshiva, and his wife is

502
00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,360
Speaker 1: still religious, and he has no idea what the fuck

503
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 1: to do. He's like I still have to pay for

504
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: their school, and like I hate this whole thing, but

505
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 1: I can't just make This is the way my wife

506
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: and the kids want to live, so I have to

507
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: support them. And he's stuck in the house like I've

508
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 1: never felt the bath or someone in my life. Like

509
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 1: he was just in between a rock and a hard place,

510
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,880
Speaker 1: like he had no way out. That's like the toughest one. Yeah.

511
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 1: The people was just integrating into society like without any skill.

512
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 2: You know, wow, they don't.

513
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, they don't like train you for any skill, like

514
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: when you're in school or whatever, like you're learning math,

515
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: you're learning English or learning literature. They don't teach any

516
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,479
Speaker 1: of that. You're just get your head into the Torah

517
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: and the Bible and pretty much it.

518
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 2: So this kid is pretty So. This kid's like more

519
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,679
Speaker 2: or less like groomed into like starting a family with

520
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 2: another sixteen year old, and then like he's once he

521
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 2: like kind of gains his own consciousness, He's like, Yo,

522
00:27:58,280 --> 00:27:58,919
Speaker 2: what the fuck am I?

523
00:27:58,920 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 4: Guy?

524
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 2: I can't just leave these kids, Like I can't just

525
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 2: like damn, that's fun. And I also like the yeah, dude,

526
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 2: I also like the the the dissonance between like you

527
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 2: and like your wife who you have to who's like

528
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 2: your fucking yeah supposed to be like your your partner

529
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 2: and doing all this stuff. Like that's crazy too, that's

530
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 2: sucking five of them.

531
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know exactly how the kids they have,

532
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 1: but yeah, it was like I had like I don't

533
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say. But they have the

534
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: organization that you know, I'm a part of now, Like

535
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 1: they have resources for people like him, you know, if

536
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 1: they want to get divorced. Also, another big thing is

537
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 1: like in some communities, if you there's a whole New York,

538
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,479
Speaker 1: there's New York Times, New York who wrote a massive

539
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: article about this. It's like if the mother leaves the religion,

540
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 1: like who where the children going? Or something basically like

541
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: if you leave the religion, they're the the community has

542
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 1: these lawyers that would make sure you never see your

543
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: children again. WHOA really yeah, yeah, they'll make They're very

544
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: well connected, the powerful lawyers. There's a New Yorker article

545
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 1: about it. I forgot the name of it. It was pretty

546
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: it was pretty scan a mess when it came out,

547
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: probably like twenty twenty. It was like talking about it

548
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 1: like they will fight too from they all to get

549
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: full custody other kids, whichever parents stays religious.

550
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 2: Wow, how is that even fucking.

551
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 3: Like legal they have they would they're just I.

552
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: Don't know, they have like top lawyers and they'll like

553
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: blackmail you and I don't know. It's crazy shit. That's

554
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: not the sect that came from, the sect that came

555
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: from a little more chill. This is like worst case scenario.

556
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,959
Speaker 2: So what's your interpretation of absurdism? Because you hear stuff

557
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 2: like that, you hear stuff like this, and you go, wow,

558
00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 2: that's blatantly unfair. Life is pretty crazy. There's no no

559
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 2: one's really lo ones, really tipping the scales and whatnot.

560
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 2: Exactly what I don't know if I actually don't know

561
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 2: if people have talked to about absurdism before. But I

562
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 2: don't really have a good understanding of it.

563
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: I mean, the most simple explanation is from like Albert

564
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: Camera's book The Messa Bus, where you know, the massive

565
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: setupus he has to push that boulder up the fucking

566
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: mountains the rest of his life, and it rolls down

567
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: he has to do it again. So like Albal Camera's like,

568
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 1: we have to imagine that's just what's happy doing that.

569
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 1: He knows that he just to do the stupid ship

570
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: every single day, but he doesn't care. He just he's

571
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 1: just happy to just roll the boulder up. He's smiling

572
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: and he's having a good time doing it. Uh. It's

573
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: hard to interpret that because like, yeah, it sounds like

574
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 1: it's rough and you know a lot of times life

575
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 1: throws should I you that you're not expecting it, you

576
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: know how to handle it, even like me, like I

577
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: don't know how to handle some things. Sometimes I can't

578
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 1: even like look into a servis and like what do

579
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: I do? But you know, in most cases I try

580
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: to come out on top like I don't. One of

581
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: the funny interpretations I think I was reading a book

582
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: somewhere and there was like some exercises where you can

583
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: practice to be an abservice. So one of the funny

584
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: ones was like, go wait in line for like a

585
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: ticket or something. It looks like it took a two

586
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 1: hour long line. Just wait in line a second, it

587
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 1: gets your turn, Just walk away. Now. I was like,

588
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: that sounds awesome, and I did it. I was like

589
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: waiting a line like on a like Apple store for

590
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: iPhone or some ship, like an hour and I got

591
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: this my turning. I fucking I just walked away and

592
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 1: I got a kick out of it. It's fun. And

593
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 1: that was it. Yeah, tell me, tell me. Yeah.

594
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 2: So in in that, in that moment, how did it feel.

595
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 2: Why did you enjoy doing that? What did you feel like?

596
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 2: You were?

597
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 1: You were? It was like why who the fuck would

598
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: do that? Wait on line for an hour for no

599
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: reason and just walk away. I just thought it's hilarious

600
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: and I got a kick out of it. That made

601
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: me happy.

602
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 2: Did it make you feel empowered that you were like? Uh,

603
00:31:58,880 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 2: you were?

604
00:31:59,240 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 3: You were?

605
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 2: You were like you were you were subverting all the

606
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 2: expectations of you were subverting so many powerful expectations in

607
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 2: that moment.

608
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I might not have gotten the full

609
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: extent of it because in my mind and I'll get

610
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: to do it. So like if you just like wait

611
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: a line, I don't know when their next iPhone or

612
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 1: something comes out, or PlayStation six or whatever, and like

613
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 1: I really want that PlayStation six, and you wait a line,

614
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: and then you get to the front and you just

615
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: walk away. Maybe it's a different feeling. So I don't know.

616
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: I planned it out. I did it so I knew

617
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 1: it was coming.

618
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 2: What other sort of absurdist exercises have you done like that?

619
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 1: I not really exercises, I think it really comes to mind.

620
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 1: But just like I just don't take things too seriously,

621
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: you know, like just in general, I try like to

622
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: you know, no, I have no problem like just lapping

623
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 1: on myself and things like that. Other exercises not like

624
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 1: come to mind. There are a few, though, but ye,

625
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: if anyone wants to like really get into absurdism, I

626
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: would say, just read like The Myth of Sisyphis by

627
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: Albert Camo or any of his other book. He has

628
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 1: some good book do you and They're pretty sure easy

629
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: to read.

630
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 2: Do you feel like sis sometimes? Like in what? In

631
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 2: what aspects of your life do you feel the most

632
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 2: like you're just rolling a boulder up a hill.

633
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 1: I mean every fucking day, man, Like out on the ground,

634
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: I'm working, I'm like, you know what if I never

635
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 1: meet someone and never you know, get married or have

636
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: kids or whatever, and like I'm just gonna die one

637
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: day and all my money is just I don't know,

638
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 1: I'll probably give it to my family and my nieces

639
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: and nephews, and I'm like, what's the point of all this?

640
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: Like why am I doing this now? Just to like

641
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 1: move on to wherever the fuck we go and we die. Yeah,

642
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,239
Speaker 1: So it's just's what it feels like. Every day, wake up,

643
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 1: same fucking shit every day. Some days it's not. I

644
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 1: guess I'll take a day off for the weekends. I'll

645
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,719
Speaker 1: go to outdoors and stuff, which I really enjoy. So

646
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: those days are.

647
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 2: But don't you, don't you, but don't you scheme? Because

648
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 2: my here's the thing. I scheme, Like when I when

649
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 2: I when I notice that I am falling into some

650
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 2: kind of sisifian thing, I'll scheme I still have I

651
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 2: I guess you know, I don't. I still have hope

652
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 2: that I can escape my Sisifian cycles via various schemes.

653
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 2: I still believe in that. Do you have you lost

654
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 2: all beliefs?

655
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 1: Do you give me an example of a scheme?

656
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 2: Okay, I can, Yeah, I can give you an example

657
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 2: of the scheme. And we've started, like like like with

658
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: dating for example, I'm like, I'm like, if I get

659
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 2: super ripped, it'll be easier, so I'll scheme to do that.

660
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 2: But then also I'll fail to do that as well.

661
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 2: Oh like doing like like doing work, like doing work

662
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 2: or whatnot. I'm like, Okay, every day I feel like

663
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 2: I'm in like fight or flight mode to like get

664
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 2: work done. If I'll scheme to come up with a

665
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 2: better system to get my work done so that it's

666
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 2: done ahead of time instead of like, uh, you know,

667
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 2: feeling like I'm in fight or flight all the time.

668
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: Yeah right, So like I don't know, I just have

669
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 2: all the and like I'm by the the But the

670
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 2: funny thing is the schemes, the scheming in and of

671
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: itself is Sissifian. Because I've been talking this is you

672
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 2: know I do this every year.

673
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like the scheme is also just a temporary fix.

674
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 1: It's like it's gonna whatever is chasing you, whatever fight

675
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 1: or flight, it's gonna catch up to you again. Schemes.

676
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 2: See, I disagree with you, though I disagree with you

677
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 2: because I still have well, no, I well, I disagree

678
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 2: with you out of u uh, well I think I

679
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 2: disagree with you. Well, okay, let me I have a

680
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 2: few things is and listen. Some of this could just

681
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:01,320
Speaker 2: be cope, but I don't. I don't think cope is

682
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 2: ultimately a bad I don't think cope is a bad thing. No,

683
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 2: I kind I think that the world shapes itself around

684
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:15,240
Speaker 2: the way you view it, and I've felt that deeply

685
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 2: in practice. So when I am scheming and I'm feeling

686
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: like I have some hope, and I'm like, you know,

687
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,879
Speaker 2: I don't have to be in a fight or flight

688
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 2: all the time. I don't have to be in nihilistic

689
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 2: mode all the time. I don't have my life doesn't

690
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 2: have to always look like this, Like life doesn't always

691
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 2: have to look like this big sure sisifian thing. I

692
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 2: find that I'm like, I act more productively, and then

693
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 2: that leads me towards feeling like life is not a big,

694
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 2: crazy specifian task. But then when I'm overtaken by nihilism

695
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 2: and I'm like there's no hope or whatever, then I

696
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 2: just you know, you find what you look That's like

697
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 2: what manifestation means to me is like you find you

698
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 2: find what you what you look for or what you

699
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 2: believe to be true and being true in some way.

700
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 2: So I guess that's my h retort. But I'm sure

701
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,439
Speaker 2: it gets hard. I'm sure it gets harder the more,

702
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 2: uh times you go around the sun with it.

703
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, honestly, just take it one day

704
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 1: at a time. So I do it, like you know,

705
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 1: every day, go to bed, wake up, hoping it will

706
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: be a better day, but usually not. It's just the

707
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: same shit, same grind, same thing, over and over.

708
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 2: Are the okay the man ask you this. The people

709
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 2: who stayed and they got married and did a bunch

710
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 2: of all that crap. Like the people you know, like

711
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 2: your friends, Yeah, are they happy?

712
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:49,879
Speaker 1: Well?

713
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 2: How do they feel?

714
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: I haven't really had a heart to heart with anyone.

715
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: I would say the closest is probably by siblings. I

716
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 1: mean they're there. I would say they're happier than me

717
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: for sure. There but they're living in more ignorance there.

718
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: They refused to peak over the wall, you know, see

719
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 1: what's on the other side there. But yeah, they're definitely

720
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: happier than me. They have their families and everything, and

721
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: and there's me.

722
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 2: I's got myself interesting.

723
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, they got their own problems of you know, costs

724
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: a lot of money raising raising kids these days. Yeah.

725
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 2: You got to pick your fucking poison. That's what I've

726
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 2: I think that's what I've learned is you got to

727
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 2: pick your fucking poison. You commit to fucking something.

728
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I haven't really committed to anything. I'm just trying

729
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 1: to live through life and you know, having my best

730
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 1: time here. And that's it.

731
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 2: Where do you want to What do you want to

732
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 2: do next with it? What's what's well? Okay, before we go,

733
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,320
Speaker 2: what's the next for you? Do you think?

734
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 4: Ah?

735
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 1: Man? I mean I just moved here, So this was

736
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 1: like a big stuff for me. I basically city I

737
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,399
Speaker 1: was living in before. I was there for a really

738
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: long time. I feel like I was mexile there, So

739
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 1: getting out of that was like my biggest breakthrough. Next thing,

740
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, hopefully maybe i'll I'll meet

741
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 1: someone I'll get along with and spend my life with them.

742
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 1: That's my hope. But if that doesn't happen, then my

743
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: backup plan is retire early, moved to Eastern Europe and

744
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 1: live my life there.

745
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,839
Speaker 2: Where in Eastern Europe I don't know.

746
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: I haven't decided on. Oh yeah, somewhere where my dollar

747
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 1: will carry me a lot stronger than it would hear,

748
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 1: Maybe like Romania, Bulgaria. Yeah, I can retire early and

749
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:37,320
Speaker 1: just live comfortably.

750
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 2: You know, it's not it's not the worst plan. B.

751
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:43,800
Speaker 2: It's good to have a plan. It helps you. It

752
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 2: helps you sleep at night.

753
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, So it to keep me going.

754
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 2: Right now, would you say your name was uh?

755
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: We said Steve?

756
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, Steve. I'm glad I got to talk Steve.

757
00:39:58,040 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: Yeah great talking to you, was right?

758
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,359
Speaker 2: Anything else about any of the stuff that you text

759
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 2: to me, or anything at all in the entire universe

760
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 2: that you wanted to say to the people or talk

761
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 2: about or anything before we go?

762
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 3: Uh?

763
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. Just keep your head up and you know, when

764
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 1: times seem hard, just try to push through and you

765
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:19,439
Speaker 1: know better day will come.

766
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 2: Beautiful, have a good rest of your life, Steve.

767
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you. Take care of gek.

768
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 2: Take care man, yep, But I like Steve. Although talking

769
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 2: to Steve's talking to Steve felt like, uh, it felt

770
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 2: like it felt like looking at what my life might

771
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 2: be like in ten years if I continued to succumb

772
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,879
Speaker 2: to nihilism. That's why I still have cope. That's why

773
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 2: I still got to have cope. I like Steve. I

774
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,919
Speaker 2: hope you find some cope. I guess he has found

775
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 2: some cope. I love that story about waiting in line

776
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 2: for two hours to get the iPhone. I think that's

777
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:11,879
Speaker 2: so funny. I think that that's uh, there's a lot

778
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:13,399
Speaker 2: that I like it. I think that's why I think

779
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 2: that that's there's something punk rock about that. I can't

780
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 2: quite put my finger on it, but I'm a fan

781
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 2: of that. Hey, what's up everyone, how's it going. I'm

782
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 2: gonna make this a little hybrid phone call gek mail

783
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 2: episode because on last episode's gek mail, or last the

784
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 2: last gak mail episode, I had some emails that I

785
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 2: still wanted to read that I didn't get a chance

786
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 2: to read. So I figured I'd spend the rest of

787
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 2: this episode reading them. Uh, if you want to send

788
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 2: an episode, if you want to send an email to

789
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 2: the podcast for me to maybe read it on the air.

790
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 2: You can send it to therapy geckomail dot com. No shit, therap,

791
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 2: I don't know why. I don't know how to talk today.

792
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:04,359
Speaker 2: Therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. And uh, I'm

793
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 2: gonna just read some emails and we'll hang out. I

794
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 2: think this episode's getting released on Christmas Eve, so hopefully.

795
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know if are people going

796
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 2: to I don't know if people will listen to this.

797
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 2: People are do people usually do stuff on Christmas Eve?

798
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 1: Right?

799
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 2: What are you guys doing? This is why I hate holidays.

800
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 2: It's it's it's more, it always feels like a unless

801
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:33,760
Speaker 2: if you're like a like a young, hot, cool person,

802
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 2: this always feels like a like Ah, crap, Now I

803
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 2: gotta figure out what I have to do to celebrate.

804
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 2: I'm gonna stop being a fucking loser for a second. Okay.

805
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 2: This is from Kaya, subject line reject the digital era

806
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 2: or succumb to evolution? Hello, Lyle, I hope you are well.

807
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,359
Speaker 2: Thank you Kaya. My conundrum is whether to abstain from

808
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 2: the use of technology and social media or to dive

809
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: in and evolve with this technological era. My relationship with

810
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,839
Speaker 2: tech and social media goes in cycles. I start being

811
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 2: passionate about rejecting screens and toxic media standards, being determined

812
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 2: about pursuing painting and being in nature, then falling into

813
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 2: pockets of anxiety and depression, returning to doom, scrolling and

814
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 2: frying my brain because I have lost the motivation to

815
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,399
Speaker 2: do anything, and I don't want to go outside because

816
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 2: it's cold. I live in England, so it's always cold.

817
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 2: I don't own a TV in an attempt to rebel

818
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 2: against laziness, yet I'm a hypocrite because I use a

819
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,800
Speaker 2: laptop instead to watch the same five shows on repeat.

820
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 2: I do the same fucking thing. I ended up just

821
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 2: buying a TV, but I didn't have a TV for

822
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 2: a while because I thought I was whatever too cool

823
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 2: for a TV, and then I was just laptopping it instead.

824
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 2: I also don't watch the news, which is great, so

825
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 2: I'm not depressed with how fucked up the world is,

826
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 2: but I also feel dumb as shit because I have

827
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 2: no idea what's going on in the world. I want

828
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 2: to live my life surrounded by positivity and nature, not

829
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 2: glued to a screen, and actually exist in what remains

830
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 2: of the physical world. Trouble is, I have problems forming

831
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 2: relationships with people due to social anxiety, so I'm already

832
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,879
Speaker 2: quite isolated and suffer with loneliness. I fear the more

833
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 2: I reject evolution, the less connected I will be and

834
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 2: the more lonely I will feel. Technology is also so

835
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 2: ingrained into everyday human life that it would be almost

836
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 2: impossible to live without it. After being so reliant on

837
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 2: it banking, shopping, travel, work, etc. I feel the pros

838
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 2: and the cons are even, and I am left not

839
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,479
Speaker 2: knowing what path to follow. Should I reject the tech

840
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 2: and try to live the few years I have on

841
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 2: this planet how I want to or suck it up,

842
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 2: evolve and learn to live with it? Kaya interesting? Well,

843
00:44:54,719 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 2: I don't. Here's the thing you're drawing to ext and

844
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 2: I'm no master of this because I'm addicted to fucking

845
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 2: technology and I hate it. I really do. I really

846
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:11,720
Speaker 2: hate how addicted I've become to like watching reels and stuff.

847
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,879
Speaker 2: I never choose to do it. Fucking Instagram. I don't

848
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 2: know if this has happened to you, guys. Instagram did

849
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 2: this asshole thing where they put the dms right the

850
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 2: dms used to be on the right, upper right hand

851
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 2: side on Instagram, so you swipe to the right and

852
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 2: you're in your DMS. And social media has become this

853
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,239
Speaker 2: thing of like interacting with a lot of people who

854
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 2: are like all this short form shit, but at least

855
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 2: in the DMS, it's like, okay, I'm gonna be interacting

856
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:46,439
Speaker 2: with another human being directly somehow. So now instead when

857
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 2: I swipe right instinctively to go to my DMS, it

858
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 2: takes me to the fucking reels. And it did that

859
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 2: on purpose. That's what pisses me off. It did that

860
00:45:56,040 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 2: on purpose. It knew that my muscle memory would swipe

861
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 2: right to go to the DMS and instead be like, oh,

862
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 2: you wanted to talk to an actual person, No, you

863
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 2: will get the short form content that makes us the

864
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 2: most money. And it's like this is such an asshole.

865
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: So yeah, so listen, you're dealing I say this to say, yeah,

866
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:20,240
Speaker 2: you're dealing with companies that want to make you addicted

867
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 2: to this shit like it's in their best interest. And

868
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:28,360
Speaker 2: they won. They won globally. It's not even like a

869
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 2: rich it's like it's crazy. It's like like people who

870
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 2: like people on the streets have cell phones. People in

871
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 2: third world countries have cell phones, like everyone has it.

872
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 2: It's crazy how much they'd like just one. You know,

873
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 2: I'm on a rant. Back to your conundrum. Back to

874
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 2: your conundrum. Uh, you don't have to be all or nothing.

875
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 2: You could always spend some time on the screen and

876
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 2: sometime off of the screen. I'll say this, try not

877
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 2: try to be intentional. I love playing video games. It

878
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 2: is great. I have no regrets about playing video games.

879
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 2: So like, if I spend screen time that I chose,

880
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,280
Speaker 2: I'm pretty happy with it. Like some people like watching

881
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:23,799
Speaker 2: movies or TV shows, as long as you're choosing it right,

882
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 2: because it's a big difference between choosing to play a

883
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 2: video game choosing to watch a movie and finding yourself

884
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 2: accidentally scrolling through reels for two hours. So at least,

885
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 2: whatever you do, that's what I'll say. That's my kind

886
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 2: of By the way, I don't do I'm a hypocrite.

887
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 2: I don't know why I'm giving you advice, but this

888
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 2: is any advice I give is just what. Any advice

889
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 2: I give is just like what i'd I do if

890
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 2: I were the idealized version of myself. But I would

891
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:54,959
Speaker 2: say kaya as long as you're being intentional about whatever

892
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,880
Speaker 2: you're doing. So if you're using technology to connect with

893
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: other people, as long as you're doing it intentionally, or

894
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 2: if you're not using it, you're doing it intentionally. But

895
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 2: try not to get like sucked into the Try not

896
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 2: to let the tech use you, I would say, And

897
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 2: then if you successfully figure out how to do that,

898
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 2: please let me know how you did it, because I'm

899
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 2: not good at doing that at all. Okay, let's see.

900
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 2: I get a lot of spam emails. What's this? One

901
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 2: is the rudest thing you can do on a flight?

902
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 2: What the fuck is this? I don't care about this?

903
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 2: All right? This is from Jackson, subject line I commute

904
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 2: three hours to work and I'm happy. Hello GEK, I'm

905
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 2: Jackson and I now commute three hours to work and

906
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,760
Speaker 2: three hours home. It sounds crazy, but let me explain

907
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:57,960
Speaker 2: that sounds really crazy. Yeah, my fiance and I used

908
00:48:57,960 --> 00:48:59,839
Speaker 2: to live in Philly, where both of our jobs were.

909
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 2: We both graduated in twenty twenty four and have pretty

910
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 2: significant student debt. She is a medical lab scientist and

911
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 2: I am an aerospace engineer. With how expensive Philly is,

912
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,359
Speaker 2: we were both struggling to save money every month. Her

913
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 2: parents live in Harrisburg, and they offered to let us

914
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 2: move in to save some money, and after some deliberation,

915
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 2: we agreed. My relationship with my own family is long

916
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 2: and complex, but TLDR there is abuse, neglect, lying, and

917
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 2: I no longer speak to my father and stepmother. My

918
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 2: real mother left when I was three, so she's out

919
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:36,240
Speaker 2: of the question. Two anyway, The point of this email

920
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 2: is that here's a breakdown of my commute. My fiance's

921
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 2: father drives me to the train station at four thirty

922
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 2: in the morning. He wakes up around then anyway for

923
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 2: his own job. Then I take a two and a

924
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 2: half hour train to a stop near my work. Then

925
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 2: I hop on a foldable bike and ride about twenty

926
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:59,800
Speaker 2: minutes to work. After work, I ride my bike to

927
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 2: a different station fifteen minutes nearby, take a train to

928
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 2: thirtieth Street station in Philly, which is about twenty minutes,

929
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 2: and then I take a train to Harrisburg and get

930
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 2: back around seven thirty pm. That sucks. You really can't

931
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 2: find hold on Okay, listen, I used to live in Philadelphia.

932
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:25,879
Speaker 2: You can't find a shitty You can't like, dude, move, dude,

933
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 2: live in like North Philly. They like live live with

934
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 2: like roommates in South Philly. Philly is you're okay, wait,

935
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 2: you're an aeros hold on, bro, this doesn't make any

936
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 2: sense to me. You're a You're an aerospace engineer and

937
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 2: your wife is a medical lab scientist. Get like, get

938
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 2: like roommates, get like four roommates. This is a horrible situation. Okay,

939
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 2: hold on, you said that you really like doing this,

940
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 2: so I'm going to keep going. If you think I'm insane,

941
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:05,919
Speaker 2: let me explain. I work remotely two times a week

942
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:09,359
Speaker 2: and then three times the next week. It alternates. I

943
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,800
Speaker 2: never have to make the commute two days in a row,

944
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 2: so I can rest up and sleep in the days

945
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 2: I work from home. That doesn't make me feel like

946
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 2: this is less insane. I only just started doing this

947
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 2: and it hasn't felt terrible. It will, but I am

948
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 2: sure the burnout will ensue. Thankfully, it is only a

949
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 2: temporary thing. I've decided to stay at my job because

950
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 2: I got extremely lucky to land it right outside of college,

951
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 2: and there isn't much opportunity in Harrisburg for me. My

952
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 2: manager and work pleasant my manager and workplace environment is

953
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 2: also so chill and easy. I struck gold with it.

954
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 2: It makes the commute worth it. Dude, just get roommates. Okay.

955
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 2: I love having the free time to read and write

956
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 2: music because I'm a million hobbies Anyway, I still have

957
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 2: plenty of time with my fiance and her family. I

958
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 2: have time to do hobby. Thanks for letting me explain

959
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 2: my crazy schedule and why I'm happy with it. I

960
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 2: love seeing you and Philly. Last year, you said you

961
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 2: liked my green shirt. Jackson Jackson, you seem like a

962
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 2: genuine jack Jackson. Jackson is just one of those guys. Dude,

963
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 2: Jackson's just one of those guys that, like, Jackson's the

964
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,239
Speaker 2: kind of guy where like he could someone could point

965
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 2: a gun at him and be like, give me your wallet,

966
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,359
Speaker 2: and He's like, oh my wallet, like this wallet rat. Yeah,

967
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 2: of course, of course you get out my wallet. That

968
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:31,200
Speaker 2: came out wrong. How do I say this? Jackson is

969
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 2: the kind of guy where just like he's just a like,

970
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 2: he's this sweet guy where the toy you seem like

971
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 2: the toils of the universe don't get you down. That's

972
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 2: the vibe I get from you, Jackson. Jackson, Jackson, don't

973
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 2: keep doing this. You're one of those you know, those

974
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 2: people that like TLC will cover where it's like he

975
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,720
Speaker 2: has no pain. He is he doesn't have the nerve

976
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 2: and in his arm that make him feel pain. That's

977
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 2: that's you with your entire life, I think. But just

978
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 2: because you don't And by the way, that's just like

979
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 2: with the guy who you know, lets people punch him

980
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 2: in the face for money because he doesn't have the

981
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:22,959
Speaker 2: nerve endings. You know, just because you have it doesn't

982
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 2: mean you got to take advantage of it. So I

983
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 2: don't know, Jackson, this is too it. This is you have.

984
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 2: You have to have some kind of uh, you have

985
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 2: to have the life nerve endings to show you when

986
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 2: things are shitty. Just get roommates, man, Phil, It's Phil,

987
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 2: It's go. You're an aerospace engineer. Like, if you really

988
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 2: want to save money, just live with roommates in North

989
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 2: Philadelphia and take the Broad Street line to wherever the

990
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:58,800
Speaker 2: fuck you're going. But don't do this. This is a

991
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 2: terrible idea, Jackson. I'm obsessed with how terrible of an idea.

992
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:09,280
Speaker 2: This is, yeah, of course an uprontity. You just started

993
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 2: doing it, Jackson, give me a call. I want to

994
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,799
Speaker 2: directly tell you how terrible of an idea I think

995
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:19,239
Speaker 2: this is. Yes, Jackson, if you can hear me, please

996
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 2: give me a call on the podcast sometimes so I

997
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 2: can directly tell you one hundred ideas I have of

998
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,359
Speaker 2: how you can make your life better. What else are

999
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,839
Speaker 2: you doing with you? I'm curious what else you're doing

1000
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:38,040
Speaker 2: with your life that you're putting up with. I'm trying

1001
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 2: to think of things. Do you eat food? Are you

1002
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 2: just like I? Don't eat food? I don't need it.

1003
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:46,279
Speaker 1: I know you think.

1004
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 2: I know you think I'm crazy for not eating food

1005
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 2: and drinking water. But let me explain. If I don't

1006
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,440
Speaker 2: eat food and drink water, I'll save a little bit

1007
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 2: of money and I don't really need it. I found

1008
00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 2: that my body can just subsist off of air. I

1009
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 2: need to know more about your life, Jackson, call me

1010
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 2: on the Real podcast. Okay, let's take let's talk. Let's

1011
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:12,239
Speaker 2: do one or maybe two of these things. Okay. This

1012
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 2: is from Alexander A fix for your name being called

1013
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 2: out at Starbucks. Hey, Gek, I saw you in Saint

1014
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,880
Speaker 2: Louis in twenty twenty three. Fuck you you signed Gek

1015
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:25,920
Speaker 2: on a T shirt on the back of my fiance

1016
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 2: because we didn't have a writing space to write GEK

1017
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:32,240
Speaker 2: on a shirt. You were also my Facebook profile picture

1018
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,400
Speaker 2: for a while. Thanks for being a part of my

1019
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,800
Speaker 2: life in some way. Thank you, Alex. These are really nice.

1020
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 2: I feel really lucky, man, I really do. I'm man.

1021
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 2: This guy Alex that I don't know is really nice

1022
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:46,360
Speaker 2: to me. I appreciate that. I really don't mean that,

1023
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:47,800
Speaker 2: and I don't know why. I know it sounds like

1024
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 2: I'm being like fucking sarcastic, but I'm not. I it

1025
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 2: feels nice. Thank you, Alex. Anyways, I'm listening to a

1026
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 2: podcast episode and you're currently ranting about having to give

1027
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 2: personal info to a corporation and don't want your name

1028
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:05,799
Speaker 2: to be called out when you finish when they finish

1029
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 2: your order. I use Optimist Prime or Megatron when I'm

1030
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 2: at a restaurant where they call out your name, because

1031
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:14,839
Speaker 2: I find it pretty funny and you can do whatever

1032
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 2: you want.

1033
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 1: I do that.

1034
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,320
Speaker 2: I usually say like a fake name. I'll say like Kyle,

1035
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 2: because if I go to a like a Starbucks or

1036
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 2: something and they're like, what's your name and I go Lyle,

1037
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 2: they go what? But if I just say Kyle, they

1038
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 2: don't say what, and so it's speeds of the process

1039
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:36,479
Speaker 2: if I do Optimists. Actually, I feel like I don't

1040
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 2: like Alex. I think what I think saying Megatron is.

1041
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 2: It's fun, but I don't like it because it makes

1042
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:44,879
Speaker 2: the interaction longer and I'm just trying to shorten I'm

1043
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 2: trying to make the interaction as fluid as possible, and

1044
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 2: if I say Megatron, they might like give me a

1045
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 2: stupid look or be like really, or like Also, I

1046
00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 2: don't want to force these people to say Megatron, you know,

1047
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 2: like that's like that feels like an embarrassment ritual, or

1048
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 2: that feels like a hazing thing. I don't want to

1049
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 2: haze the Starbucks workers, man. I want to make their

1050
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:11,120
Speaker 2: job easy. I want to make my experience with Starbucks easy.

1051
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:15,239
Speaker 2: Just you know, I'm not going to force some someone

1052
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 2: working at Starbucks to yell Megatron.

1053
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1054
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,520
Speaker 2: Maybe it's maybe they like it. I don't I don't know.

1055
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 2: I don't know how your experience has been. Okay, I'll

1056
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:29,200
Speaker 2: do one more. I make music for my girlfriend, and

1057
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:33,880
Speaker 2: that's it is from Samuel. I make music for my girlfriend.

1058
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 2: Sometimes I pretend my girlfriend is one million people and

1059
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 2: it makes me feel famous. She doesn't like all my songs,

1060
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 2: but I made her cry twice. It's really fulfilling. I

1061
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 2: want to make music for my friends, but I need

1062
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 2: to get better first, get blessed. That's the whole email.

1063
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 2: That's one of the greatest emails that have been sent

1064
00:57:55,360 --> 00:58:00,880
Speaker 2: in this show, and it goes to show that you

1065
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 2: don't need the email, don't need to belong to be

1066
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 2: to be great. I love this. Thank you, Thank you

1067
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 2: so much for sending this. Sam. This is this. You

1068
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,960
Speaker 2: sent this on October twenty seventh. Sorry for just getting

1069
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 2: around to it now, but that was a fantastic email.

1070
00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 2: I told you I said it before. I said it

1071
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 2: earlier with Steve. Nihilism's a scale issue.

1072
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 1: Man.

1073
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:28,960
Speaker 2: All you need is one fucking person to acknowledge that

1074
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 2: you exist. That's all you need. One thing. If you

1075
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:38,479
Speaker 2: if you can find one thing outside of yourself, one

1076
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 2: person or thing that kind of acknowledge that you exist,

1077
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 2: you can pull yourself out on nihilism. So I appreciate

1078
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 2: Sam making music for just his girlfriend and feeling as

1079
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:57,280
Speaker 2: though she's a million people. This is so beautiful. I'm

1080
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 2: gonna read this. I can I read this again. Is everyone. Okay,

1081
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 2: is it everyone to write a read this email again

1082
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 2: before we go. I'm just read it one more time.

1083
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 2: It's really beautiful email. I make music for my girlfriend

1084
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 2: and that's it. Sometimes I pretend my girlfriend is one

1085
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 2: million people and it makes me feel famous. She doesn't

1086
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 2: like all my songs, but I made her cry twice.

1087
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 2: It's really fulfilling. I want to make music for my friends,

1088
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 2: but I'll need to get better first. That's a beautiful

1089
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 2: fucking email. Thank you, Sam. I hope, I hope i'd listen.

1090
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 2: I'd like to hear your music someday. I would love

1091
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,240
Speaker 2: to hear your music. Sam send me another. If you

1092
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,000
Speaker 2: hear this somehow, send me an email. I want to

1093
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 2: hear your music because if you write lyrics the way

1094
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 2: you write emails, I want to hear this music. I'm

1095
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 2: obsessed with this email. This is the best email. And

1096
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 2: this is the best email I've ever gotten in the

1097
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 2: history of a get mail. I'll say it. I know

1098
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 2: we've gotten emails that it's like, oh, it's a big

1099
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,920
Speaker 2: crazy story and something, and I like those two, but this,

1100
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 2: something about this, this makes me really happy. I enjoy this.

1101
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 2: Thank you, Samuel. That was Gek mail. I hope you

1102
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:11,600
Speaker 2: guys enjoyed enjoyed this. I hope that you enjoyed the

1103
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 2: podcast and enjoyed being here. I'm excited. It's a happy

1104
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 2: new year. This is the last podcast of twenty twenty five.

1105
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 2: Oh shit, this is the last fucking episode of this

1106
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty five. Oh fuck. All right, I should

1107
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 2: say I should say something, right, Thanks for listening to

1108
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:34,120
Speaker 2: this show all year. Thanks for continuing to be on

1109
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 2: this journey with me. It's been five and a half years.

1110
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:40,920
Speaker 2: Next June, it'll be six fucking years of being a Gecko.

1111
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 2: That's crazy. Thanks for being on this journey with me.

1112
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:45,479
Speaker 2: I did not I really didn't think this would last

1113
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:50,360
Speaker 2: that long. And I'm so honored to keep getting phone

1114
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 2: calls and emails and keep being able to engage with people,

1115
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 2: and keep getting to do shit like go to Iraq

1116
01:00:56,360 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 2: or Tijuana or Japan or the gathering of the Juggalos

1117
01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 2: and and and make these documentaries and go on tour again.

1118
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:06,240
Speaker 2: And uh, it's awesome. I I can't thank he has

1119
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 2: enough for allowing me to continue to do all this stuff.

1120
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 2: So thank you, guys very much for being part of

1121
01:01:14,520 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 2: this Gecko community. This this this crazy, weird thing that

1122
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:21,600
Speaker 2: continues to go. We'll keep the train run on as

1123
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:23,439
Speaker 2: long as you guys want to be on it and

1124
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 2: gek bless Happy New year. See see you, uh see

1125
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 2: a next episode. I was gonna say see you next year,

1126
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 2: but I don't like when people say that, but it

1127
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:38,400
Speaker 2: is I guess true. All right, see you next year.

1128
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:42,800
Speaker 2: Thank you. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end

1129
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:47,000
Speaker 2: of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus

1130
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:52,160
Speaker 2: episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of

1131
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 2: the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a

1132
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 2: premium member of Therapy Gecko over at Therapy Gecko dots

1133
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 2: supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes.

1134
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 2: They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the

1135
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 2: regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members

1136
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 2: only streams, and they help support my ability to continue

1137
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:18,920
Speaker 2: doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's

1138
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:21,200
Speaker 2: members only bonus episode.

1139
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:23,440
Speaker 4: She was like, not treatment right and stuff. So I

1140
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 4: was like, oh, yeah, you know, I'll rescue this parent.

1141
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:29,680
Speaker 4: Long story short, I've got a parrot now and she's

1142
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 4: only there are a lot of work, but my wife

1143
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 4: is she's good with pets, so she just handled it.

1144
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:40,919
Speaker 2: Mostly so you rescue the parrot and then subsequently put

1145
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 2: it in an also shitty situation. If you want to

1146
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,840
Speaker 2: hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become

1147
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:50,360
Speaker 2: a premium member at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com,

1148
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:54,440
Speaker 2: or find the link in the episode description that's therapy

1149
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 2: Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing

1150
01:02:59,120 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 2: else to say.

1151
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 4: The repeat cat goes on the line taking your phone

1152
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 4: calls every night.

1153
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:06,919
Speaker 1: Never repeat Cat goes doing his ride.

1154
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 4: He's teaching you to housing

1155
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:12,400
Speaker 1: Live your life, but he's not really an expert.