WEBVTT - Second Cup: Think could, not should

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.

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<v Speaker 2>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Today's tip is to think could, not should. Focusing on

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<v Speaker 2>what you could choose to do helps you see possibilities

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<v Speaker 2>and that might help you make real progress toward your goals.

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<v Speaker 2>A person who reviewed one of my books recently noted

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<v Speaker 2>that I rarely use the word should. Instead. This person

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<v Speaker 2>wrote that I generally aim to show people what they

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<v Speaker 2>could do and how they might benefit. I hadn't thought

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<v Speaker 2>about it that way before, but it is true in

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<v Speaker 2>the strategies I share, and as I think about my

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<v Speaker 2>own decisions, I definitely lean toward considering what we could

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<v Speaker 2>do instead of feeling constrained by shoulds. Whatever those are, anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>could opens up possibilities, While should invites obligation and guilt.

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<v Speaker 2>Possibilities are a lot more attractive and often more helpful too.

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<v Speaker 2>In practice, what this means is that when you are

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<v Speaker 2>facing a problem, you want to generate lots of potential solutions.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe there are ideas that are more common or that

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<v Speaker 2>someone has told you are right, but there may be

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<v Speaker 2>other options too. If you generate lots of possibilities, you

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<v Speaker 2>might decide that some are appealing, which means you are

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<v Speaker 2>more likely to follow through on them. So, for instance,

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<v Speaker 2>let's say you are having trouble sleeping. Lots of advice

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<v Speaker 2>out there suggests not having screens in your bed, and

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<v Speaker 2>maybe that does help a lot of people. But if

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<v Speaker 2>you aren't going to move your TV out of your bedroom,

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<v Speaker 2>then it is not helpful to beerate yourself over that fact. Instead,

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<v Speaker 2>try thinking about all the things you could do to

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<v Speaker 2>sleep better. You could try limiting caffeine and alcohol in

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<v Speaker 2>the afternoon and evening. You could try avoiding screens for

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<v Speaker 2>a half hour before bedtime. You could try meditation, a

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<v Speaker 2>sleep story or another app to help you go to sleep.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe you could try melatonin, or you might change the

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<v Speaker 2>temperature or some other such intervention. When you look at

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<v Speaker 2>the list of coods, you might find one you will

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<v Speaker 2>actually stick with. Or maybe you want to contribute more

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<v Speaker 2>to your retirement account. You keep telling yourself that you

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<v Speaker 2>should go out to dinner less, but when it is

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<v Speaker 2>six o'clock and you're hungry and other folks suggest restaurants, well,

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<v Speaker 2>so it goes What if instead you generated other possibilities.

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<v Speaker 2>You could start a side gig and put half your

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<v Speaker 2>earnings from that into your retirement account. Maybe you'd love

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<v Speaker 2>to eat out, but you don't watch that much TV.

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<v Speaker 2>If so, you could cancel some streaming services and put

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<v Speaker 2>the money you save into the account. When you get

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<v Speaker 2>a raised in January, you could direct all the increase

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<v Speaker 2>to the retirement account. You get the idea, What are

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<v Speaker 2>all the options and which ones sound appealing? No need

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<v Speaker 2>to chastise yourself about what you should do but aren't doing,

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<v Speaker 2>and I am putting the word should in quote marks there. Instead,

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<v Speaker 2>focus on what you could do and what makes the

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<v Speaker 2>most sense in your life. The truth is, as an adult,

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<v Speaker 2>there are very few things that you absolutely have to do.

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<v Speaker 2>There may be consequences to doing or not doing various things,

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<v Speaker 2>but sometimes should is a story we are telling ourselves.

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<v Speaker 2>There are often multiple ways to accomplish the same goal.

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<v Speaker 2>If you are most likely not going to pursue one

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<v Speaker 2>of those approaches with any particular zeal, then there is

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<v Speaker 2>no point feeling hemmed in by it and feeling guilty

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<v Speaker 2>that you are not doing it. Instead, look at all

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<v Speaker 2>you could do that way you put yourself in the

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<v Speaker 2>driver's seat. I hope you feel the same way about

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<v Speaker 2>Before Breakfast. I have produced almost one thousand unique episodes

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<v Speaker 2>at this point, all of them with some bit of

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<v Speaker 2>advice on how to take your day from great to awesome. Ideally,

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<v Speaker 2>you view this show as a so of ideas and possibilities,

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<v Speaker 2>not assignments. You do not have to try every tip

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<v Speaker 2>you hear. Some might not be wise for your life,

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<v Speaker 2>and some might just sound silly or unappealing for your

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<v Speaker 2>particular situation, and that is fine. These ideas are options,

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<v Speaker 2>just ideas you could try out if you wanted to.

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<v Speaker 2>If a tip appeals to you, that is wonderful. If not,

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<v Speaker 2>you can let it pass on by. In the meantime,

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<v Speaker 2>this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 2>the most of our time.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey everybody, I'd love to hear from you. You can

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<v Speaker 1>send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just

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<v Speaker 1>connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast Pod that's b E the number four then Breakfast Pod.

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<v Speaker 2>You can also shoot me.

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<v Speaker 1>An email at Before Breakfast Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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<v Speaker 2>Thanks so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts

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