WEBVTT - Putting Yourself First featuring Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:12.560 M h. How many things are different since we met, 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:17.440 since before the pandemic, how my life has changed, and 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:20.400 how a lot of people's life and how things that 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:25.440 you didn't realize were so important really the important things, right, 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.520 It's not just your career, and it's not just you know, 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:32.080 how you show up at work. It's just it's really 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:33.959 the words that come out of your mouth and how 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:43.520 you live your life. Hi, Bobby, Hi on Julie. How 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:47.199 are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good? Things good. 0:00:47.240 --> 0:00:51.240 I'm psyched about our guests today because they're new friends. 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:56.000 I didn't really know them. They are powerful, powerhouse women. 0:00:56.640 --> 0:01:00.600 They are soccer stars, their World World Saw Crew stars. 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:03.960 They're married, they now are New Jersey residents. They have 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:07.760 a beautiful child. And I'm excited to talk to Ali 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:11.440 Krieger and ash Lyn Harris. Yeah, I'm super excited to 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:14.560 talk to them women in sports. They're amazing. I have 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:17.600 a lot of questions. So here goes our conversation with 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:25.760 the girls. Hi, It's so nice to meet you. What 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:32.080 a thorough Hi. So, how are you guys doing? Freezing? Freezing? Yeah, 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:35.600 welcome to New York. So you're enjoying Florida? I bet. Yeah, 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:38.280 it's kind of it's well, it's actually freezing here too, 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:42.319 for Florida. Really it's freezing. Yeah, I think it's you know, 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:48.800 fifty we went to training this morning. It was what 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:57.440 I was uncomfortable. You have Well you guys are from Florida. Yes, right, 0:01:57.480 --> 0:01:59.440 so do you guys have one of those buttons where 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:04.920 you could press to get the heat going? Honestly, I wish, 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:08.160 I wish. It's not that easy. So, I mean it's 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:11.600 interesting because you guys, you live together, you career together, 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:14.720 you know your parents together, you do everything together. Does 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:19.480 one person take certain things or how does it work? Yeah? 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:23.760 I think it's a really good like balance and team effort. 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:28.880 I feel like Ali does her things and I'm very 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:33.080 take care of the house, take care of the cleaning, 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:37.919 take care of the cooking. Wow. Yeah, and what does 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:44.200 that leave me? I'm not dogs organizational stuff with like 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:52.240 banking bills, mail, making sure I'm staying on track. Yeah. 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:55.760 So I think we naturally have our own you know, 0:02:56.800 --> 0:03:00.680 things that we do that that makes us complete. Yeah, 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:03.919 like I mean like any couple. I mean yeah, absolutely, 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:07.720 any couple. So that as normal as as you get right, Yeah, 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:12.000 and you guys are pretty much newly with right two 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:16.639 years nineteen yeah, two years according to your Instagram where 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:21.560 I congratulations, thank you, thank you, and the baby the 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:25.520 baby is already wont like yesterday? Right Saturday, today's her 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:30.720 adoption announcement day. Saturday was her birthday. Yeah, congratulations, that's 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:34.080 so fun, thank thank you. Oh my god, what a beauty. 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:39.520 She had the best time. She literally had the best time. Yeah, 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:41.600 good thing. We didn't go overboard with all the decor. 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.880 Yeah yeah, right, not at all. It looks like a 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:48.400 really low key celebration. Oh my goodness, it was just us. 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:53.640 Oh my god. The whole house is still up and 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:56.960 the outfit, the whole thing, I mean it was it 0:03:57.000 --> 0:03:59.800 was too good. Oh but but now, so who's that? 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:05.080 Because I know, Ash, you're the close style one of you. 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.800 Are you more like house decorator or how does that work? 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:13.560 I'm particular? Yeah I do that. I do the decor, 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:17.520 the birthday decre and Ash. Yeah, she has great input 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:21.599 and you know, design in the house and other specific things. 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:26.240 Playing mutual. But I feel like sometimes Ali really need 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.040 like she really needs her input, so she'll just go 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:31.800 ahead and buy things without asking, like, hey, where do 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.640 you think this goes, so I'm like in the base 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:42.719 or feel like it doesn't go. So that's kind of 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:46.120 our dynamics. Well, I think it's funny every couple. I 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:48.680 don't know about you, Angelie, but I can't really buy 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.799 a fork without Stevenson. Oh yeah, I like this fork. 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:54.960 Like he's very opinionated, so you kind of have to 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:57.680 learn what works right. It's like, what do you think 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:00.000 about this for Oh, I don't know, what do you think? 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:01.720 I don't know what do you think? Up to you? 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:06.000 And then I could pick my fork and I feel 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:09.160 like after twenty some years of marriage up and I 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:11.320 like I still haven't quite figured out what. He'll have 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:12.960 a very strong opinion on im, Like I know the 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.880 obvious things like a big change, but the little things 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:17.960 like I'll just get it and put it in the 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.159 house and then he'll walk by it from months be 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:23.320 like is that you? And like six months like that base, 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.080 you know you won't notice, But then there'll be something 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:28.960 very specific that he'll hone in on it. It'll really 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:31.880 it'll be like why did we buy that cup? Change 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:33.880 that you know? It's like it's so not a big 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.800 deal that Ladle isn't going to change anything in this kitchen, 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:38.960 but he'll like really fixate on it. So you just 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:41.760 never know. And how about it work? Like what happens 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:44.520 on the field, you guys like, Oh, she yells at 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:49.640 me all the time, I actually play a position that's well, 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.279 she could see the whole field and everyone, but I 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:55.000 play right in front of her, so if I make 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:59.640 a mistake, she needs to then try and save them 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:04.120 of going into the goal. So yeah, I get yeall 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:07.560 that quite often, But you didn't you praise us when 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:11.640 we do something good. So honestly, we have a very 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:18.240 professional work life, like it's business. I am very competitive. 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:22.760 Everything I do is about competing. Um, it's like a 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:26.200 part of who I am. So I am. I'm very intense. 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:30.800 We don't we We've learned after several years we take 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:36.760 nothing home, nothing personal, and we always have the drive 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:42.760 home to discuss whatever happened happened at work and then 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:46.159 once we get home, Yeah, done. That's amazing though, what 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:48.360 a great philoso because we I feel like we've talked 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.400 to a few people who work with their spouses or 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:53.159 significant others and we haven't really dug into the weeds 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.360 of how that works. And I can't imagine working with 0:06:56.400 --> 0:06:58.360 my spouse, like I love them to death, but there's 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:01.040 no we would absolutely kill there's no way, Like even 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:03.400 during the pandemic. Oh yeah, I mean just during the 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:07.000 like even he's a doctor and he you know, so 0:07:07.040 --> 0:07:09.240 he was in the hospital. So we I worked at home, 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:11.160 he was in the hospital, and it worked fine. But 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:13.000 I think even if we had been in the same 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:16.280 physical space, having to navigate around each other and working, 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:18.400 I think it would have been really challenging because our 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.840 work styles are so different. Even our tone on the 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:23.520 phone is super different. But it's interesting because you guys 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:25.920 met at work, right, Yeah, we didn't. Didn't meet on 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.160 the field. We did, And I think that's why we've 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:31.360 been able to work together this long and have a 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:35.360 relationship because we built that friendship and that foundation first, 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:39.600 and then on top of that, you know, the emotional 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:43.800 relationship I guess turned more physical at that time. But 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:46.760 I think we had a really good friendship and foundation 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:51.560 for about a year before we actually tried dating um, 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:53.720 and I think that's what set us up for success. 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:56.440 And then how long did you guys quote unquote date 0:07:56.520 --> 0:08:00.040 before you got engaged? And who asked who? Probably in 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:09.280 ten years. Um, I asked, everyone's looking at me. I 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:14.120 was Ali to marry me? Yes, m hm, the one 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:18.200 who did that, lucky me. She said, yes. But now 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:20.800 nobody knew that you were dating until Is it true 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:23.320 that nobody? I mean people obviously close to you probably knew, 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:25.920 but like the world didn't know. Your fans didn't know 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:28.960 officially you were dating until you got engaged. Is that right? Yeah? 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:33.199 So Ali and I were really nervous to lose sponsorship 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:37.040 and to make it an uncomfortable environment for the people 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:40.440 around us. So we were very clear with the team 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:44.960 comes first and our personal lives UM came second. And 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:47.960 you can only keep that up for so long. I 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:50.640 feel like at some point we felt like we couldn't 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:55.360 be our authentic so so we just spoke about it 0:08:55.400 --> 0:08:58.280 and we're like, you know what, at this point, I'm 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:03.679 willing to risk it all, lose it all, to just 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:08.439 be me, and if people have an issue with that, um, 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:11.640 that's their loss. I also felt like for us, we 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:15.600 weren't able to give our club everything, our family and 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:20.719 friends everything, UM, just the people who were supporting us 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:24.600 through our whole entire relationship, and just our lives. We 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:30.080 weren't able to be all ourselves and give everything we had. 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:34.040 So once we you know, told the world, hey, this 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:36.600 is who we are, and then we're living this authentic 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:41.440 life and we're getting engaged and we're you know, going 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:43.480 to have a family in the future and all the things. 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:46.560 We were then able to give everyone everything and more 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.360 into our work, and more into ourselves as individuals, and 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:52.040 then more into us as a couple. So I think 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:56.959 it was um for the better and at the timing, 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:00.960 and I thought was really beneficial for us. And I 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:04.280 do feel like it's delusional to think and this is 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:09.800 what our culture and society has made us, has made 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:13.520 us feel over the years that like we weren't worthy 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:18.360 of that, that we couldn't like share this together and 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:22.040 work together. So we were hiding and then we were 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:25.400 preaching to live this life and be open and be you, 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.960 when in fact it was really difficult for us because 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:34.480 our sport paid our bills. But was this something that 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:38.080 you were advised to do to not tell or you 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:42.240 guys just were worried, just worried. We were worried what 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.560 the federation would think at the time, and if we 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:47.320 would get fired from our job, that we were a 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.000 couple playing on the same team, you know, trying to 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:53.160 win a World Cup, in Olympic gold medal. It's it's just, 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:55.560 I don't know. We were a bit nervous. We didn't 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:59.319 want people to think that we were bringing our relationship 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.120 into the school, odd into the team and not really 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:07.800 focusing on how as individuals um and elite athletes we 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:10.800 could help the team be successful. But little did we 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.040 realize at the time, we weren't our full authentic selves 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:18.000 and we weren't really you know, as individuals bringing our 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:22.320 best anyway, until we actually came out and said, like, 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:25.080 this is who we are and we're going to be 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:29.080 even better for the squad because of it. And I 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:31.520 feel I feel like it gave a platform like this 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:35.560 is normal, Like people fall in love at work all 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.800 the time, and it's not this thing where you have 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:43.320 to choose and like it just happens. You actually have 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:45.840 to be open about it. I mean, that's you, you know, 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:49.160 so you know. Unfortunately it took a long time, but 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:53.040 this was before the pandemic, right yeah. And also you 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.760 were peers in that situation too, So I think like 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.720 a big distinguishing factor would be that you're coming in 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:01.040 as equals, as teammate and that sort of things. So 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:06.000 and the response was so overwhelming, like the opposite direction 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.440 what we assumed. Yeah, and then we're like, why did 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:15.840 this take so long? What were we doing? Yeah, that's amazing. 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:19.400 So this podcast is called The Important Thing, So it's 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:23.440 really about how things, how the pandemic has changed you 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.439 or how you have changed. So could you talk a 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:29.600 little bit about that, like what has changed for you 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:34.160 guys personally during the pandemic or because apart from the baby, Yeah, 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:41.520 becoming parents, becoming moms has definitely changed. I think, UM, 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:45.880 taking care of ourselves, UM, because I know everyone has 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.960 struggled through COVID and the pandemic and UM kind of 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.360 sitting with yourself and sitting with your own thoughts and 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:56.760 still trying to be your best as an individual, to 0:12:56.880 --> 0:13:01.400 give more for you to your work, UM, for us 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:04.320 to our team and continue to get better every day. 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:09.439 And how to do that with being restricted with UM, 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:11.800 you know, not being able to work out with a team. 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.760 Now we're having to work out individually. How to stay 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.080 fit when you can't really go to a gym, you 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:20.160 have to just use your sidewalk or street or home 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.960 gym or home bike or I don't know. You just 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:26.560 have to start finding ways of how to still bring 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.760 your best and be your best every day in order 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:35.240 to help our team be successful. UM. So it was 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:37.840 really difficult for us to kind of keep a routine, 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:41.800 keep our mentality at a high level so that we could, 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:46.040 you know, get back. Once we could get back after COVID, 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:51.080 we could then still perform our best, UM and help 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:55.880 the team win. So how to I guess individually, keep 0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:01.679 uh physically, emotionally and mentally fit in order to perform 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:04.320 at the top level when we were going back to 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.079 work um and for us was just going back to 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:11.720 play football. So it was tough to find kind of 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:18.160 and navigate through those schedules to really continue being top athletes. 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:20.000 But then, what did you do because most of us 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.840 struggle with that that we're not professional athletes, Like, what 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:24.880 do you guys do? I mean, and what did you 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:27.440 do to kind of keep yourself fit? And and and 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:28.960 take me to take us through a day to day 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:32.240 what you guys do because you are incredibly fit. We 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:36.680 partnered with Rogue incredible They sent an entire gym to 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:40.080 our house, so we were very very fortunate and lucky 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:43.840 to have that. UM, thank you. And we we had 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.640 a routine and we had a schedule every day when 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:49.480 we woke up, Um, you know, either she was doing 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:51.440 weights and I was on the peloton, and then we 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.400 would flip and we just keep it. We just held 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:57.840 each other accountable. That's what we're actually really good at 0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:01.880 in our relationship. UM. We we we knew that the easy 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:04.920 thing to do would sit around and watch Netflix, whatever 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:07.400 the case. But we had to grind and we had 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.120 to do our workouts, and we had to stay on schedule, 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.720 and we had to have a purpose and we would 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:17.320 feel like we're checking boxes to get through the day. UM. 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:22.240 We heavily invested in breathing exercises. UM, so that was 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:27.360 a big priority. UM. Walking family walks became a really 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:31.320 big party our routine. We would do it every morning 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.960 and every sunset. Um. We started to cook a lot 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.760 more and that's like a lot of bonding time came 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:43.120 around the kitchen and just you cooked a lot more 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:46.560 than it was. It was fun, but I gotta be honest, 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:56.200 I enjoyed just unplugging. My entire life, at least to 0:15:56.360 --> 0:16:01.440 this point, has been dedicated to my profession ship and 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:04.840 being an athlete is a twenty four hour job. What 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:08.880 you eat, how you how you sleep, your recovery, how 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:12.800 hard your training, all eyes on you all the time. 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:16.680 And I finally could just be home and breathe, not 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.440 in an airport airport, not in a hotel, not in 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:26.200 another country. I just could chill and be with my wife, 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:29.880 be with my family. And it was very small at 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:33.360 the time, but I'm really enjoyed it. It gave me 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:37.640 a time to reflect on the most important things in life, 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:41.600 and for so long, my partnership and my family had 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:45.560 had always come second. And I think when we could 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:49.880 sit and have all these incredible conversations about like reconnecting 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:54.320 and creating this life without a soccer ball, what is 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:56.640 it going to look like? And I think that's where 0:16:56.880 --> 0:17:00.280 Ali and I were like, it's kind of I'm kind 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:03.640 of ready for the next step. And that's when we 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:07.639 decided to adopt. So actually, the pandemic has that was 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:12.840 a pandemic decision that may yep, yeah, and the pandemic 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:16.880 we were like, we heard, you know, same sex couples, 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:21.040 it could take years. It happened in like three weeks, 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:25.520 so we were like, we were like, we had the 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:28.800 Olympics coming up, what are we gonna do? And they 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:30.840 We're like, this is this is the path, this is 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:34.080 it and we haven't looked back, and it's been the happiest. 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:36.399 It's been the happiest time of both of our lives. 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:42.800 So I really do think COVID came in and just restructured, 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:46.800 restructured everything. What's most important life, you know, And it's 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:50.439 so easy to get caught up in it, like you know, 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.000 the money you or the fame or the things. It's 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:57.600 just it's like it's not fulfilling all the time. And 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:00.679 we finally could sit down and be like, there's more 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.720 to life than just this game. There's more to who 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:07.800 we are as people than just a soccer ball. Well, 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:12.560 you sound so emotionally like centered and healthy, and I 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:14.760 know it wasn't always the case. And I know that 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.880 you have spent a lot of you know, time on 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:21.000 on is it both you guys or just to Ashland. 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:25.480 I think we just yeah, um yeah, I definitely go 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:29.160 to therapy and focus on my mental health and also 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:34.760 we both um do breathing exercises just so like you know, 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:40.480 come lower our anxiety and and stress levels. Because we're 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:44.520 so competitive in this game. Is is like a constant 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:50.600 stressor and there's so many different um layers to it 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:54.479 that you have to really handle and kind of breathe 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.440 through and stay calm. And so I think we tried 0:18:57.480 --> 0:19:02.840 to use specific tools to help lower that stress and 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:07.320 stay calm and UM kind of what's the saying that 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:11.600 we always used to say, just um, thrive under pressure. 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:15.399 So you have to have this calmness about you, especially 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:17.520 at our age and being veterans in this game, we've 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:21.080 had so much experience, and so now we just have 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:25.240 to kind of keep that in a in a specific 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:30.159 calmness that we then have to implement in our daily life. UM. 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:33.200 And I think we both do that through therapy, through 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:38.920 sports psychologists, talking within our team, making sure everyone's okay. UM. 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:57.200 So that's definitely been consistent within our routine since day one. 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:03.560 Can you talk about the breathing exercises that you mentioned, 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:05.800 because I would love to know more. I mean, I'm 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:10.680 not in the roitely like, I'm definitely not, you know, 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:13.800 a performance athlete by any structure the imagination, but the 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:16.800 stress of the pandemic, they sort of ongoing stress was 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:20.280 just of life. But definitely sort of pandemic agitation as 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:23.000 it were, um is you know, causing me to have 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:26.520 feelings of anxiety and things that I've never experienced before 0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:29.479 and trying to take that down and not just something 0:20:30.160 --> 0:20:32.280 that I would love to know what you guys do. 0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:36.000 So I'll start I was, and I'll be honest, Um, 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:39.520 during the pandemic and going through an adoption process is 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:44.080 very stressful and you really just are on this journey 0:20:44.119 --> 0:20:46.360 of uncertainty. You know, you just don't know if it's 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:48.320 going to happen or And I was having a lot 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:52.240 of panic attacks, and um, a lot of it came 0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:55.240 at night when I was trying to sleep. So I 0:20:55.320 --> 0:21:00.399 spoke to our sports site and strength and conditioning coach 0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:06.120 and they had added in my routine. Um, after every workout, 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:10.320 I would do this breathing exercise and she would put 0:21:10.320 --> 0:21:12.880 it on and I would sit there and she would help, 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:14.560 she would kind of guide me through it because I 0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:17.760 don't really know what I'm doing, and there was different 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:21.440 different positions, and you you know, you it's a practice, 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:24.000 you know, you're you don't have to be perfect. You 0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:27.400 just keep working at it. And I would just sometimes 0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:30.720 even just sit sit there and close my eyes and 0:21:30.760 --> 0:21:36.919 just feel everything melt out of my body. And it 0:21:37.040 --> 0:21:41.320 was a moment and an act of being present but 0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:44.560 also letting go all the other things I can't control, 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:48.880 and I just really stuck with it. We both did, 0:21:49.240 --> 0:21:52.480 and it was something we continued in our routine, even 0:21:52.520 --> 0:21:56.400 if it was only for ten minutes, like before training 0:21:57.280 --> 0:22:01.720 or after training, usually after to kind of just wind down, um, 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:06.159 go through the recovery, and we would stretch, and then 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:09.240 we would do our breathing exercises and it just like 0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:13.520 even for ten minutes, even taking ten deep breaths really helps. 0:22:13.960 --> 0:22:19.000 So um, we would just listen to uh you know. 0:22:19.040 --> 0:22:24.320 It wasn't like a app. Yeah, um that a lot 0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:27.439 of surfers I think would use as well, so, but 0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:29.160 we would switch it up a lot. It wasn't always 0:22:29.160 --> 0:22:32.960 the same. We would try multiple apps and breathing exercises 0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:36.480 to see which one fit. But um, yeah, it's been 0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:40.479 great and it automatically makes you feel better, lighter, and 0:22:40.520 --> 0:22:42.639 then we would just go on with the rest of 0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:45.840 our day and feel really relieved after a tough training. 0:22:46.240 --> 0:22:48.400 Ten minutes sounds like a long time to me. It's 0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:51.439 something that I have not incorporated and it's something that 0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:54.320 I'm like, I gotta do it, but you know, can 0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:58.359 I start with one minute? Absolutely start with thirty seconds? Yes, okay, 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:02.000 al right, not now, just kidding, but honestly, I really 0:23:02.040 --> 0:23:04.720 do feel that's gonna be dead silent for thirty seconds, 0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:08.800 everybody I know. I do feel though, that if you 0:23:08.880 --> 0:23:12.800 don't take control of your own like health and mental health, 0:23:13.760 --> 0:23:15.439 no one else will be able to do it for you. 0:23:16.160 --> 0:23:19.879 So I I do feel there are so many benefits 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:23.480 of self care, even if it's thirty seconds of breathing. 0:23:24.320 --> 0:23:27.480 That's probably something that we've learned most during the pandemic. 0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:31.240 Does that put yourself first, make yourself a priority, um 0:23:31.320 --> 0:23:34.800 there in your recovery process as well after training, and 0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:40.680 we have felt ten times better on my list. I'll 0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:43.440 send you an app Yeah, yeah, okay. Well, they say 0:23:43.480 --> 0:23:46.399 that if you can't find twenty minutes to meditate. I 0:23:46.440 --> 0:23:49.280 meditate every morning for if you can't find twenty minutes, 0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:52.160 it means you need two hours. It's like that's sort 0:23:52.160 --> 0:23:54.640 of the cliche of meditation in the meditation world. That's 0:23:54.640 --> 0:23:56.720 what you know. And because it's like that, but if 0:23:56.720 --> 0:23:59.440 you're that busy that you can't find that time. You 0:24:00.000 --> 0:24:01.840 need a lot more time to meditate. Well, I'm not 0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:05.080 that busy. My mind is that busy, you know, my 0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:08.600 mind is really busy. Yeah, but that that's the point. Yeah, 0:24:08.720 --> 0:24:10.520 it's like if you can't feel, if you're like I 0:24:10.560 --> 0:24:12.880 cannot find time to do this. But yeah, I think 0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:15.000 the idea of not letting perfect and in the way 0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:17.639 of good and just like doing it whatever it looks 0:24:17.680 --> 0:24:20.000 like that day is is a really great lesson. And 0:24:20.080 --> 0:24:23.320 talk to me a little bit about your foundation that 0:24:23.440 --> 0:24:28.480 helps people with emotional and mental issues, because I think 0:24:28.520 --> 0:24:33.639 it's amazing. Yeah, A big believer in supporting mental health 0:24:34.000 --> 0:24:38.879 and addiction and depression and you know, suicide, all the 0:24:38.960 --> 0:24:43.479 things that are so prevalent, prevalent in our society and 0:24:43.520 --> 0:24:47.199 culture that people are so uncomfortable to talk about. And 0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:51.280 it's okay to not be okay. We all experience it. 0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:55.479 It's like a very normal part of life. And I 0:24:55.520 --> 0:24:58.719 feel like it's been very taboo and don't talk about it. 0:24:58.760 --> 0:25:01.480 That's not something we should we should talk about. So 0:25:01.760 --> 0:25:07.440 I'm very active in um that community, and I'm very 0:25:07.480 --> 0:25:10.240 open and honest with how I feel all the time. 0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:13.840 And what's the name of it, the nonprofit that I 0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:17.920 am very tied to is to Write Love on Our Arms. UM. 0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:22.280