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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for backing out of my

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Speaker 1: friend's wedding because he's marrying a cheating or this is

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Speaker 1: the long one. Folks wanted it to be shorter, but

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Speaker 1: in order for me to find value in the responses,

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Speaker 1: I think you need to know all the gritty details. Currently,

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty seven male, he's twenty seven male. She's twenty

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Speaker 1: five female. By the way, this chem's from a throwaway

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Speaker 1: account on our slash okay storytime suburated it. So January

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, we went on a boy's golf trip.

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Speaker 1: The last night of the trip while the bar buddy

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Speaker 1: we'll call him see met, Charles met and eventually brought

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Speaker 1: home a girl or call her Sally. At the time,

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Speaker 1: Charles was twenty five and Sally was twenty two or

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Speaker 1: twenty three. They ft that night whole house could hear,

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Speaker 1: and then stayed in touch after we left. Not long after,

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Speaker 1: he told us they're going to try a long distance

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Speaker 1: relationship two hour planing role. Whoa would you do that?

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Speaker 2: What's that Las Vegas? What is two hours from here?

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Speaker 1: I mean it depends I I would do a long

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Speaker 1: distance relationship depending on the person.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but how far waight is that from here two hours.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, like three hundred six hundred miles eight

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Speaker 1: hundred miles. I didn't think much of it at the time,

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Speaker 1: other than from what I had seen she wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: the type of girl me or any of her close

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Speaker 1: friends would consider for a serious relationship, especially at the

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Speaker 1: cost of it being a long distance. But to each

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Speaker 1: their own that we just supported him. Not too long

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Speaker 1: into the relationship, they were fighting a lot. She would

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Speaker 1: post him on her Insta, then delete him, do all

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Speaker 1: kinds of weird, childish crap. During that time, he would

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Speaker 1: speak to us for advice and based on all the

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Speaker 1: information we consistently recommended and the relationship. It's also important

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Speaker 1: to note that Charles is one of the nicest, most

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Speaker 1: genuine people I know. He doesn't have a mean bone

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Speaker 1: in his body, and he's a handsome guy too. At

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Speaker 1: no point in our time growing up together did he

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Speaker 1: ever have a problem with the ladies. So essentially he's

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Speaker 1: got ample options available to him, but somehow he's subtly

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Speaker 1: down with this.

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Speaker 2: Probably like, oh, she chews me bad, but I.

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Speaker 1: But I love it. I love the the bad, the

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Speaker 1: stepping on the toxic you know, oh, bitten in the heels,

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Speaker 1: bit in my ear, put your tongue in it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he listened to my ear hole.

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Speaker 2: He's like, oh, she's a baddie.

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Speaker 1: He's a baddie who's bad. Seven months into the relationship,

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Speaker 1: he was dmd on Instagram by a random girl claiming

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Speaker 1: he had found out her boyfriend was cheating and the

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Speaker 1: girl he was efing was Sally. Charles told us what

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Speaker 1: was going on, but once Sally started making threats about

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Speaker 1: him responding or listening to the girl yeving him, he

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Speaker 1: blocked the girl. Dude, dude, she's got him wrapped around

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Speaker 1: her fingers long.

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Speaker 2: That would be so hard to see your friend go

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Speaker 2: through that. Dude, knowing he's being mistreated that bad.

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Speaker 1: It's it is the worst. I then reached out directly

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Speaker 1: and got all the screenshots in proof. No need to

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Speaker 1: get into the details, but it was very clear Sally

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Speaker 1: was effing this girl's boyfriend. Despite that clearly being the case,

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Speaker 1: they worked through it and decided to stay together. Is

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Speaker 1: that worth working through? Is that work?

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Speaker 2: I think it was? Don't ever mention it again.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, oh, yeah, sorry, I bet he was

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Speaker 1: apologizing at some point, Oh around a year later, while

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Speaker 1: he was down visiting Sally, her roommate pulled him aside.

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Speaker 1: Charles had been going down there and staying for extended

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Speaker 1: periods of time, working from home, buying her nice things,

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Speaker 1: taking her out to nice places. He even bought her

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Speaker 1: an effing palatin, which is like thousands of dollars. Oh.

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Speaker 1: The bikes, yeah, the stationary bikes. So I guess with

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Speaker 1: seeing all these things, Sally's roommate sat him down while

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Speaker 1: Sally was at work and told him, essentially, Hey, I

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Speaker 1: can't just sit here and watch this happen. Sally has

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Speaker 1: been sleeping with our neighbor for months now, even going

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Speaker 1: on trips to Miami, and you deserve to know considering

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Speaker 1: everything you're doing. I have pictures and any evidence you

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Speaker 1: might want. W roommate. With that, Charles left the apartment

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Speaker 1: and called me immediately. You guys were so effing right.

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Speaker 1: I'm out of here. She's been effing her neighbor for months.

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Speaker 1: Need to drop her car off at work that I'm

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Speaker 1: heading straight to the airport. I would have lit that

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Speaker 1: car on fire, but to eat the r he continued

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Speaker 1: the conversation, and as I was aware of the way,

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Speaker 1: she gas led him. The last time something like this happened,

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Speaker 1: I advised him to say nothing or close to nothing,

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Speaker 1: just hand to the keys, leave them somewhere, and walk away.

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Speaker 1: As he arrived to her work, we hung up. I

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Speaker 1: see you. I mean, he's just he's just gonna he's

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Speaker 1: just gonna be wrapped around her finger again. I feel

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Speaker 1: like he doesn't have the the self confidence, the backbone

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Speaker 1: to really stand up to her. Don Lasky says, whipped

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Speaker 1: must be five stars in bed probably, dude, honestly good

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Speaker 1: spicy sleep. Will We'll put a haze over you like

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Speaker 1: nothing else, like nothing else. You'll think you're in love,

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Speaker 1: but it's just just good spicy sleep. I've all been there, well, Cricket,

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Speaker 1: Oh no, he completely stops answering any of our text

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Speaker 1: and calls. Did I consider the fact that this wench

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Speaker 1: had killed him? Yes, yes I did, but almost equally

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Speaker 1: sad reality was true. She somehow gas led him to

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Speaker 1: be okay with it and stay with her and probably

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Speaker 1: cut off all his friends. Vix Smick says, I see you,

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Speaker 1: Tom says, I see you. Jellybus says, welcome to your

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Speaker 1: first live. Also, if it's your first live, welcome this

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Speaker 1: was the point where he even called me and our

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Speaker 1: other family friend a few days later and lied to us,

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Speaker 1: claiming the roommate made it all up, Everything's fine, nothing

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Speaker 1: to worry about. What he failed to realize is when

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Speaker 1: he sent us proof the roommate provided the neighbor's phone

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Speaker 1: number was in the screenshots, we call the neighbor. Everything

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Speaker 1: mentioned was true. Charles didn't answer us once we confirmed that.

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Speaker 1: Radio silence for a while after. After that, our entire

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Speaker 1: higher group of friends were pushing him to get out.

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Speaker 1: He completely stopped mentioning her or telling us anything about

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Speaker 1: the relationship. Not sure if it was just sick of

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Speaker 1: it or he was embarrassed or what, but that's just

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Speaker 1: what he decided to do.

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Speaker 2: He's too important.

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Speaker 1: Note he's too deep. He's too deep in it important.

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Speaker 1: Note only three of us knew about either cheating situation.

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Speaker 1: Everyone else in his life just hated her for her character,

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Speaker 1: and I promised you would too. She's the type of

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Speaker 1: girl who has a new best friend every other month,

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Speaker 1: and when you ask about the old one, it's always

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Speaker 1: some form of she's an effing b which totally read.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, totally right. You can't keep a friend?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, toxic stuff like that is the reality of who

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Speaker 1: she is. Another important note the backdrop of Charles's personal

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Speaker 1: situation throughout this all. His father had cancer when we

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Speaker 1: first went on the trip, and it wasn't good. Eventually,

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Speaker 1: after many surgeries and treatments, he went into remission and

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Speaker 1: its cancer for you today, but probably looking for a

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Speaker 1: shoulder to cry on. Honestly, he's in like a fragile heart,

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Speaker 1: a heart emotional spot. However, before that happened, Charles's mother

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Speaker 1: was diagnosed with a different, more severe form of cancer.

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Speaker 2: Oh dude, and I know for a fact that Sally

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Speaker 2: was not there, well, not there and definitely doing things

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Speaker 2: she probably shouldn't be doing.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Unfortunately, she did not have the same results,

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Speaker 1: and it brings tears to my eye writing this that

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Speaker 1: she's no longer with us as of last winter. Ah,

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Speaker 1: it was no wonder. Charles is as nice and as

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Speaker 1: good of a person as he is. When you met

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Speaker 1: his father and mother, two incredibly kind and genuine people.

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Speaker 1: Her sweet presence and kind generosity will forever be missed.

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Speaker 1: I mentioned that because I think it's an important backdrop

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Speaker 1: to this all. During the time they were dating, we

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Speaker 1: all noticed a big difference in him. The Charles today

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Speaker 1: versus the Charles that went on the golf trip is different.

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Speaker 1: It's like the lights are on, but nobody's home. He

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Speaker 1: was never the sharpest tool in the shed, but seemingly

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Speaker 1: he's just become spacier in space.

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Speaker 2: Oh, dude, I have been here before. It's such a

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Speaker 2: bad place to be in because you're giving yourself to

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Speaker 2: the other person, thinking, oh, everything I need to do

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Speaker 2: needs to be for them, and you you've lost yourself,

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Speaker 2: like you said earlier.

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Speaker 1: Lost yourself. You lose your friends, you lose your family.

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Speaker 1: It's like when you have an emotional demanding relationship, just

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Speaker 1: like all of your essence just gets absorbed by this

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Speaker 1: person that's causing problems, causing you like emotional turmoil, and

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Speaker 1: there's not space in your life to take care of yourself,

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Speaker 1: and so you just, you know, you throw it all

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Speaker 1: away for some great throat. As Bell Contlink says.

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Speaker 2: Dude, it's so sad and the second you're out of it,

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Speaker 2: these weight on your shoulders is gone and you've realized, Wow,

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Speaker 2: all these relationships I had are gone and I have

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Speaker 2: to rebuild them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah from zero. So who's said I don't know all

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Speaker 1: the different ways trauma presents itself, but I know he's

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Speaker 1: dealt with a lot, and I also know he's never

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Speaker 1: received professional help with it. Oh and I don't think

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Speaker 1: Sally would ever let him do it, even if we

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Speaker 1: convinced him to do it. I wholehearted believe she used

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Speaker 1: his situation to manipulate him into needing her there for him.

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Speaker 1: She took advantage for sure. Before his mother passed away,

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Speaker 1: we received word from one of his high school friends,

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Speaker 1: who also hates Sally but knows nothing. We know that

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Speaker 1: Charles is flying down to propose to Sally that day.

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Speaker 1: He purposely didn't tell any of his closest friends because

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Speaker 1: he knew exactly what we would all say. Despite that,

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Speaker 1: I reached out with one last effort. I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to make sure of that because he didn't consult any

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Speaker 1: of us with that info that he at least discussed

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Speaker 1: at Lanka's parents. He assured me he did and that

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Speaker 1: they supported him. So from there it was just a

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Speaker 1: face in palm situation. My best friend is marrying a manipulative,

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Speaker 1: cheating or and that's just the way it is. Not

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Speaker 1: long before that, she moved up to us and they

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Speaker 1: got in an apartment together.

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Speaker 2: Would this help with the cheating or not?

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. Cheater is always gonna find a

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Speaker 1: way to cheat.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Don Lasky says Sally doesn't want him healthy, shed she'd

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Speaker 1: have to kiss the five K presents goodbye. Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: he's probably Honestly, what's probably happening is he's giving those

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Speaker 1: presents as a way to buy her affection because she's

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Speaker 1: like not being loyal to him. Once the engagement happened,

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Speaker 1: it felt like there was nothing we could do. At

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Speaker 1: this point, Sally had all of Charles's friends blocked and

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Speaker 1: all social media. This actually happened a long time prior,

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Speaker 1: when she was still deleting his picks from her page

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Speaker 1: every time they would fight. Guess he didn't want us

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Speaker 1: to see it, loll. About three months ago, she sent

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Speaker 1: me a follow request. I have zero presence on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: just a blank page that I use for scrolling purposes.

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Speaker 1: Haven't posted since high school and everything has been deleted

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Speaker 1: for a while now. This was her remediate attempt at

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Speaker 1: mending the relationship. He absolutely hated me up to this point,

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Speaker 1: and for good reason. I saw through her bs and

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Speaker 1: recognized She's a bad person to her core, no morals,

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Speaker 1: no values, just a secular wench who's woefully misguided by

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Speaker 1: the cultures of TikTok and social media as a whole

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Speaker 1: in different words. I made Sally and Charles aware of

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Speaker 1: that realization as well. For obvious reasons, I was not

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Speaker 1: initially asked to be in the wedding. However, around two

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Speaker 1: weeks after receiving her follow request, he called and asked

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Speaker 1: me to be a groomsman. Now, at this point I

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Speaker 1: hadn't dealt with or heard of any of her bs

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Speaker 1: in around a year. The most recent developments with him

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Speaker 1: were about his mother having already accepted that we tried

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Speaker 1: everything we could do to stop this, and not wanting

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Speaker 1: to lose a good friend. I accepted question, would you

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Speaker 1: accept now.

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Speaker 2: That's not my friend anymore, that that's not my dog.

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Speaker 2: My dog wouldn't lose himself like this.

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Speaker 1: And I almost feel like, if you were a groomsman

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Speaker 1: that would be complicit in, yeah, taking this relationship, that

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Speaker 1: would go down a bed. Yeah. I might try to

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Speaker 1: make a last effort stand to say, like, dude, I

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Speaker 1: can't be in this wedding because I've seen what this

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Speaker 1: has done to you and it's tearing you apart.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't even. Oh man, oh, this is so sad.

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Speaker 1: The wedding is down where she's from, so it's basically

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Speaker 1: a destination wedding. They were kind of to plan it

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Speaker 1: on New Year's Eve eve, that's right, not New Year's Eve,

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Speaker 1: but the night before. But now everyone is lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to pay New Year's Eve travel prices, all while probably

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Speaker 1: having nothing to do on New Year's Eve. Sally is

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Speaker 1: really just so inconsiderate of others. Now here's the kicker.

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Speaker 1: After everything mentioned above, I basically was overgiving f He's

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Speaker 1: ruining his life. We try to stop it, but he's

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Speaker 1: an adult now, so it is what it is. For

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Speaker 1: my thoughts. Well, last week I find out that while

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Speaker 1: she was still living down there, for some insane reason,

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Speaker 1: when Charles found out a friend from his high school

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Speaker 1: was visiting in her town, he suggested, oh, no, I

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Speaker 1: see you, I see you, I see you, put I

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Speaker 1: see you in the conmensay see was coming. He suggested

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Speaker 1: they link up to meet up and hang out. Now

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Speaker 1: do I understand why he would do that when he

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Speaker 1: knows she's a absolute hoh. Absolutely the f not but

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Speaker 1: it happened nonetheless, and as you probably guess, they f't

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Speaker 1: real scumbag move on the friend's part, but that will

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Speaker 1: be handled separately. Once hearing this, I wanted to Instagram

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Speaker 1: to see the guy recognize the name, but I wanted

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Speaker 1: to put a face to it. While doing this, I

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Speaker 1: realize Charles doesn't follow him anymore, but Sally does, so

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Speaker 1: Charles clearly knows this happened, which my source told me to.

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Speaker 1: It seems this time she actually confessed to Charles, but

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Speaker 1: is doing her classic cheating home move. She claimed she

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Speaker 1: brought his friend home but only gave him head.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, claimed that's a lie, first off, and

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Speaker 2: second off, why did you do that?

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Speaker 1: It's still terrible. I still will know if I'm more

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Speaker 1: disgusted by those actions or by her manipulation. It's all

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Speaker 1: just so eff engross, but you know it's not gross

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Speaker 1: and probably will save you. Is joining our live every

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Speaker 1: weekday on YouTube at three PMPSD. Just have our profile

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Speaker 1: last dely. I will notes. After the second cheating situation,

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Speaker 1: I point blank asked him if he had any type

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Speaker 1: of cuckhold fetishes or something like that I made it clear.

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Speaker 1: If that's the case, there's no judgment and nothing to

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Speaker 1: be ashamed of. You just have to tell us. But

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Speaker 1: if that's the case, we need to know because it

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Speaker 1: changes everything. By his response, I was convinced he does

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Speaker 1: not have any sort of fetish. I've known him since

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Speaker 1: fourth grade. He's a terrible liar. But now I'm sitting

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Speaker 1: here with a handful of options all bad. I can

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Speaker 1: sit him down and tell him what I learned. Probably

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Speaker 1: should do that. I could tell him what I found

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Speaker 1: out and let him know that I can't support the marriage,

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Speaker 1: or I could do nothing. If you can think of

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Speaker 1: other options I have, I would love to hear it.

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Speaker 1: But am I the a hole for doing any of

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Speaker 1: those three options? Which would you do? I want to

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00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,360
Speaker 1: know we have a little bit more from op in

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Speaker 1: the relevant comments, But what would you do, Riley? Of

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Speaker 1: those three, I would proceed with the first one.

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Speaker 2: Tell them what I know.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: And if Bill wants to have the marriage, I'd be like, dude,

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Speaker 2: I cannot be there with you. You're way better than.

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Speaker 1: This, Yeah, you're way better this. This is going to

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Speaker 1: destroy you. I don't want to be complicit in your.

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Speaker 2: Destroyer like if this happened to Christian and I just

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Speaker 2: saw this happen, like one of those French mommies got

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Speaker 2: ahold of him and he was just doing all this Like.

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Speaker 1: Dude, those French goth mommies.

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Speaker 2: You're better.

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Speaker 1: Dude, those goth girls will ruin your life.

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Speaker 2: You're better than this.

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Speaker 1: But the funnest way.

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Speaker 2: But imagine if he stopped doing cars, like shooting cars

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Speaker 2: and stuff because of this, he stopped.

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Speaker 1: Doing tennis, yeah with his new friend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, with his new friend. It would be so sad.

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Speaker 1: It would be so sad. I would I would still

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Speaker 1: be his friend to support him, but I wouldn't go

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Speaker 1: to the marriage.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I don't think.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I was going to ask you about that that

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Speaker 2: happened with.

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Speaker 1: Christian ah, but oh wait wait, let me let me think.

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Speaker 2: This has been going on for four years. You have

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Speaker 2: seen and known how much they that she's been cheating

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Speaker 2: on him, and he won't listen to you at all, prick,

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Speaker 2: would you still go he's completely lost himself, the lights

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Speaker 2: are on, but no one's still at home.

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Speaker 1: I would say, I'm still gonna be your friend, but

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Speaker 1: I can't go to this marriage because I don't support.

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Speaker 2: It, and as soon as you click back into reality,

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Speaker 2: I will be there for you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Coffee Girl says, tell him what you learn and

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Speaker 1: don't support the marriage. I think, yeah, tell him what

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Speaker 1: you learned, don't support the marriage, but say hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be. I'm gonna be. I'm gonna still like be

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Speaker 1: with your like, be your friend. But just know I

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00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:33,600
Speaker 1: think you're throwing your life away.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Miss jay Bird also say I'm sorry you don't

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Speaker 2: believe you deserve better.

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Speaker 1: Back soon. Yeah, but we do. Got some relevant comments

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Speaker 1: and a response from op So Sassafras forty five says,

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00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,960
Speaker 1: not the a hole. Is anyone else of your friend

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00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,480
Speaker 1: group in the wedding party? Is it worth it for

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00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 1: three fourths of you to know certain things to sit

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00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:57,120
Speaker 1: down with him as a group like an intervention. There's

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00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,520
Speaker 1: still a possibility of backing out if he still won't

342
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Speaker 1: see reason and slush, depending on how the convo goes.

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00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 1: But if his closest friends aren't supportive and don't show up,

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00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,800
Speaker 1: maybe that'll click for him. And Opie responds, only two

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00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,080
Speaker 1: of us are in the wedding. The other three have

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00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 1: given up and basically made that clear. One is definitely

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00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,359
Speaker 1: not going to the wedding. One is a maybe, and

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Speaker 1: a third is going, but not a groomsman. I spoke

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Speaker 1: with the other groomsmen last night, and whatever we decide,

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Speaker 1: we'll do it together. But wow, wow, wow, wow wow wow.

351
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Speaker 1: I dude, it's so sad that this guy's throwing his

352
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Speaker 1: life away for a goth mommy. You know, But dude,

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Speaker 1: you know, like when people have low self confidence and

354
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,159
Speaker 1: the spicy sleep is to die for, you know, a

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00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,880
Speaker 1: lot of things can be thrown out the window, but.

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00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 2: After a while, a spicy sleep just becomes numb. What

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00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,119
Speaker 2: happens when that goes away?

358
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Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe it's that good.

359
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,320
Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Man, Sometimes good spicy sleep, like I go to a

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Speaker 1: different dimension.

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00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:20,719
Speaker 2: Man, this guy, this guy spares no details. I'll tell

363
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 2: you what. Yeah, thank gosh.

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00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 1: We got one, glady and says stop the gothslander. To

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Speaker 1: be clear, I'm not hating on the goth baby. I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying I.

367
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,680
Speaker 2: Got one part time. She's alternative, part time goth babe, and.

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Speaker 3: She's not God.

369
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Speaker 2: Alternative. It's not God, she's alternative.

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00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 3: Okay, it's not God. My friend won't stop talking to

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Speaker 3: a guy I broke up with so I'm ending our friendship.

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00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,919
Speaker 3: My most recent ex was lazy. Best example is he

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00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 3: never even had a job while I was with him.

374
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 3: Due to that experience, I wanted the complete opposite, financially

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Speaker 3: stable or at least cares about financial and dependents as

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00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 3: well as taking care of themselves. By the way, this

377
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:06,399
Speaker 3: comes from honest Adeptness eighteen twelve on the r slash

378
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 3: Okay Storytime Separate It. I go to the gym five

379
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 3: times a week and try to be as healthy as possible,

380
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 3: subtracting the typical twenty year old things, and only feel

381
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,960
Speaker 3: it's fair my partner cares equally about those two points.

382
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,200
Speaker 3: The reason I left my last relationship was a loss

383
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,879
Speaker 3: of attraction, mostly emotional but also physically, and I didn't

384
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 3: want to put myself back in that position. The relationship

385
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,919
Speaker 3: before that was extremely traumatizing and a four year relationship

386
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,160
Speaker 3: throughout all of high school. So I was pretty much

387
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 3: in my HO phase focusing on myself get back out

388
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:44,120
Speaker 3: there and put out there, I guess. So, so, now

389
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 3: that I have some context onto that story, I twenty

390
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 3: female have a friend, will call her Cindy. Cindy was

391
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,440
Speaker 3: talking to me and mentioned one of her friends found

392
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:58,400
Speaker 3: me attractice. Let's go Cindy little Wing Women Women Wing

393
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 3: person awesome sent him my snap or number no issue.

394
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 3: I hung out with the guy friend about three times

395
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,880
Speaker 3: and knew off the bat I wasn't physically attracted to him,

396
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 3: which is all I was interested in at that point,

397
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 3: but he was nice and I really didn't want to

398
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 3: hurt his feelings or mess up my relationship with my friend.

399
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 3: He also had some major red flags, like showing me

400
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,120
Speaker 3: his bake account the first time we ever hung out,

401
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 3: which felt really manipulative and weird, but moving on after

402
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 3: the first time we hung out, I made it very

403
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:34,159
Speaker 3: clear I wasn't interested romantically, but he kept pushing. I

404
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,239
Speaker 3: met up with him two times to attempt to let

405
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,119
Speaker 3: him down easy. I told him I wasn't interested in

406
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 3: any relationship or anything for a while, and that I

407
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 3: would love to stay friends but didn't want anything romantic.

408
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 3: He started a thirty minute rant about how girls.

409
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 4: Always do this and then get into a relationship the

410
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,959
Speaker 4: next week, and how it's never the truth.

411
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,360
Speaker 2: Dearie, play all girls with the same by juice WRLD.

412
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 3: I assured him I didn't want anything romantic with him

413
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,399
Speaker 3: once again, which was the truth. This was in March,

414
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 3: by the way. After another thirty minute rant, he asks

415
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 3: if we could revisit the conversation after summer break. He said,

416
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 3: I know you're attracted to me as much as I

417
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 3: am to you, and I don't want to let it

418
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 3: go that easily.

419
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,479
Speaker 1: I'm just as hon as you.

420
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 2: I swear.

421
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 4: I know that you cannot control yourself around me because

422
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 4: you have such.

423
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 1: Older She's gonna dump my bones.

424
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 3: It's gonna you want to jump my bones.

425
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 1: You're getting sleepy after.

426
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 2: Bones.

427
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 4: I think after you take him in it, or maybe

428
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:48,360
Speaker 4: two months, you'll realize that I am actually a viable congender.

429
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 2: Now.

430
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 3: The people pleaser in me couldn't tell him the truth

431
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 3: of I'm not attracted to you because I really didn't

432
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 3: want to hurt his feelings. And he is very overweight.

433
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 3: I've been there and being treated differently based on weight

434
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 3: is a horrible thing. But I also can't help that

435
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 3: I wasn't attracted. I agreed, honestly to just be able

436
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 3: to get out of the car and go back home.

437
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 3: I had little contact with him after, but was still

438
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,680
Speaker 3: pretty close with Cindy. I texted her almost every day,

439
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,360
Speaker 3: so she was bound to find out if my situation

440
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 3: had changed. I had also texted him and let him

441
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 3: know I was cutting him off due to my circumstances

442
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 3: and situation in June. In other words, he couldn't see

443
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 3: me as anything besides the romantic interest, so I had

444
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 3: to walk away. But I didn't say that. It was

445
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 3: very vague about why, and just kept it focused on myself.

446
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,879
Speaker 1: I at all smart. I feel like it's smart to

447
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 1: focus on like you.

448
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 3: I'm just like, sorry, I'm not looking for this. Yeah,

449
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 3: especially with the guy, actually you're not. Yeah, yeah, it

450
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 3: seems like he won't.

451
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 1: I think it's the best way to let people down

452
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,479
Speaker 1: where it's like like, uh oh, you mentioned that you

453
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 1: want this, and I just I'm just not that right now.

454
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 3: Yeah. I had also had a conversation with Cindy way

455
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 3: before breaking it off. This conversation mostly consisted of ME

456
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 3: saying it made me uncomfortable that she kept him updated

457
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 3: on me and that I wouldn't continue the relationship if

458
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 3: she couldn't separate her relationship with me and her relationship

459
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 3: with Now. I understand they were friends first and that

460
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 3: they are.

461
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 1: Very relationship with Sam.

462
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 3: Sorry, I looked up and one of the comments said,

463
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 3: Sam and I accidentally and her relationship with him. Now

464
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 3: I understand they were friends first and that they're very close,

465
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 3: but in mind that was a clear boundary to prevent

466
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 3: things like this next part of the story. When I

467
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,680
Speaker 3: came home for summer, I started hanging out with one

468
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 3: of my childhood best friends again, and I just clicked,

469
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 3: like I want to marry this man. Clicked. We started

470
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 3: hanging out again in July and started dating in August.

471
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 1: Woo, All girls are's a shame they they don't want

472
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,120
Speaker 1: to be a relationship, but they go to a relationship

473
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 1: a week later. Is what that guy's gonna say. I

474
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 1: see you. Okay, that's what he's gonna say. I see

475
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: it coming, I see it coming coming.

476
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 3: Since I was so happy to find my person, I

477
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 3: of course started showing my pervis and sending pictures of

478
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 3: us hanging out to them, including Cindy. That same night,

479
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 3: I got a text message from said friend. He had

480
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 3: let me borrow a sweatshirt from a bonfire months before,

481
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 3: and honestly had forgotten about it. He started talking about

482
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 3: how he wants it back, but I can also just

483
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,919
Speaker 3: throw it away if I wanted. It was really weird.

484
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,239
Speaker 3: I practically had to beg him to just take it

485
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 3: back because it's an expensive sweatshirt, and I felt bad.

486
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 3: I know, in some senses I let him on, and

487
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 3: I was a butt for that, but I genuinely just

488
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 3: didn't want to hurt him. However, the other part of

489
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,399
Speaker 3: me is so upset that Cindy continues to talk about

490
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 3: me with him, knowing I have never shared as much

491
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 3: info with him as I have with her. In addition,

492
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 3: this isn't the first time she got in the middle

493
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 3: of it and made the situation a lot worse for me.

494
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,400
Speaker 1: So she's trying to wing woman, but do it too forcefully,

495
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: a too forcefully.

496
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 3: After she tried to wing woman, it failed, the wing

497
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 3: crashed and bird.

498
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: Yeah you can wing once woman a little.

499
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 3: Close to the sun, and now like Icarus, she's falling

500
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 3: to the sea.

501
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 1: Yep, her feathers are falling off, her wax are gone.

502
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 3: By the way, you can join us live on YouTube

503
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 3: every weekend at three pm Santa Time, just profile.

504
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: PSD.

505
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 3: So would I be the a hole for cutting Cindy off,

506
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 3: for completely disrespecting a clear boundary or should I just

507
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,879
Speaker 3: have a follow up conversation, since this will be the

508
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,199
Speaker 3: only time I have had that issue. Also, I know

509
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 3: I let him on and that makes me a d

510
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 3: to him. I fully acknowledge and see the error in

511
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 3: my ways. But like I said, I was in a

512
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 3: hoo phase and everyone was aware of that throughout the

513
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 3: whole thing. In addition, we've never spoken of relationship or

514
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,159
Speaker 3: anything like that. He just really wanted to date me,

515
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 3: and the feeling wasn't mutual really quick.

516
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: Tony Spilacco's is a good point. Yes, he wasn't let

517
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 1: on a promise.

518
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 3: I also agree. I was going to say at the

519
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 3: end he wasn't let she didn't live.

520
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it is. It is also true that when

521
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:13,400
Speaker 1: you have, you know, spicy sleep with someone, often there

522
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: are emotions that get involved and it's never as clean

523
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: as you want it to be. Yeah, there's always like

524
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: someone that gets emotions, someone feels.

525
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 3: In addition, we never spoke of a relationship anything like that.

526
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 3: He sit me in the usual last bit of context,

527
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 3: I never let him buy me anything unless he literally

528
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 3: yelled at me to take whatever it was the coffee,

529
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 3: which is also very off putting a turning coffee, please.

530
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 1: Bake account literally take buy you five coffees with the money.

531
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 3: I got so much money for coffee.

532
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: All right, you took the coffee. Now you have to

533
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,679
Speaker 1: be my girlfriend, works work.

534
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 2: Coomy.

535
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: I give you coffee, you give me?

536
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 2: Yeah. Why is it friend doing that? It's a weird friend.

537
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 2: Are they bored?

538
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 1: Yes?

539
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 3: So, Miss Jaybird says this guy is very bad at

540
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,159
Speaker 3: in prospection. If all the girls are saying they are

541
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 3: an interested relationship with you, but then end up a

542
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 3: coupled weeks later, they just it just started.

543
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 2: I feel like they that they like the idea of you,

544
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 2: but not.

545
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,120
Speaker 3: Nice. Guys are rarely ever nice nice.

546
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: I think they're just like beta mean.

547
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, they're just mean.

548
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: They're not Yeah, they're just they're just mean, but like

549
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 1: beta about it, beda, I should use that word. But

550
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: like they're they're non confrontationally mean or needy.

551
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 3: Oh you even think it's non confrontational. I think they

552
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:42,199
Speaker 3: can be confrontational. I think that they just also have

553
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 3: low self esteem.

554
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: It's maybe it's more like they are, uh, they are

555
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 1: mean through playing up the fact that they're a victim.

556
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, like they're owed all this they were promised.

557
00:27:55,200 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 3: Oh if I were Oh god, you guys would finish, Yeah,